"Safe Word For Parents" | Episode #306 | NSFW

0:00 It's shoot time, folks. But first, dad jokes. This happened to me in LA recently. I was driving on the 101 highway there, driving and I cut somebody off. I didn't feel great about it. And that person started tailgating me. I'm like, "Oh, shit, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die." That person moves up to the left lane. I'm like, "Oh, shit, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die." I look over and it's a woman in her late 40s, giving me the double bird while she makes her 11-year-old daughter hold the wheel. And I was so upset because I've never been that close with my mom. We can't agree on a movie what alone perform a hate crime together.

0:43 [music] Wake up, daddy. [music] This is episode number 306. Welcome to your dad's home podcast. I'm Bauer. That is Chad the Dad. Here for the end of January. Literally, the very, very end, like within hours of it being February 1st, which is only gonna mean one thing for those of you who have been doing your drive January. Have you been doing the drive January? I have as a matter of fact, yes. But still, I got to...

1:24 It's a little bit of a cheat, too. I don't know where you put this in the drive January like that. Intent is not to drink alcohol, but I've decided to replace that with THC drinks. Oh, so I think I think I'm going for me. Yeah, all right. It's not even a technicality. I mean, you're not drinking alcohol, which good for you. Also, I guess you're not... And I've never had the THC... I've had THC tea, but I've never... A beverage like that, if you will... So I'm guessing there's no hangover that you have to deal with for the most... No, no. Weird dreams. Definitely some weird dreams. I'll take it. I'll take it.

2:04 My dream? Yeah. My dreams could use a little livening up, Mr. Chad. I'll be honest with you. I could use some people kicking the butt there on my dream side. Did I highly recommend the Trail Magic Margaritas? Okay, all right. That's what I've been hammering. I've been with some friends of ours. I was like, "Here's our list of our favorites." So we went out and tried a bunch and that was the one that rose to the top. It literally... Okay. It's drinking a margarita, but it's THC sold, right? First of all, you sold me on margarita, just saying margarita alone and I'm in. But I will say this. I think that list, or one that you create, one that you add to, we should definitely be talking about here on the Dad's Home podcast. Because I was just thinking... I refused to take part in dry January.

2:44 I think it's a farce. I appreciate people who do it. But I feel like by that second we get... It's like the same thing is working out in January. Like you have all these wonderful intentions. And then you realize, holy shit, holy shit, Trump's president and I've got a drink. Or there's a fucking playing crash and you're like, "I got a drinker than there's another playing crash and filling it in. "Fuck, I got to drink some more." So I feel like the reality is you go away with great intentions and I appreciate that. But you never really stick with it all the way through January. So I might as well just why even fucking farce it up. I'm not even gonna do my no mustache, no Vembre either. Fuck you guys. I'm gonna keep it growing. I'm too lazy to put up with that shit.

3:25 I know yours is a pretty stellar mustache too. I'm working on it. It is fantastic, Rolly Fingers, Jr. But I will say that I appreciate the effort being put into it. And I think what you've got is probably the answer that I was looking for. There it is, folks, on the video. Okay. Now this is also... This is half and half with non-accoholic beer. So... Okay. And is that just... It's a beer reedah was like my drink before dry January. It was Dosekis lime beer, bunch of tequila, a bunch of lime juice, a little bit of quattro. So it felt like you were having a beer, but you just was no alcohol. It did.

4:05 Well, feeling too. Well, yeah. So that was before dry, the regular non-accoholic same Dosekis beer with the THC drink is like a beer reedah. Okay. It's awesome. How long just for... And just research purposes here. How long does it take before you have the feeling? Like, I know good... Depending on how strong the margarita the tequila is, it might take me a margarita and a half before I'm starting to feel any of the effects of it. Where does this stand for you with the THC arena? So these are a low dose because I think if I got a high dose, my wife might just like pass out in front of the fire drooling, which I might do.

4:45 By the way, I like the way you throw your wife under the bus on that one, but it's probably more than likely you. It would be me. It's... Yeah, probably of the two of us. But anyhow, so, yeah, we... Sorry, what did you ask me? Never mind. I think we got the answer already. Yeah. It's... There you go. How long it takes for the day to get... It's about like... It's like, I don't know, 30 minutes probably. Okay, not about... Start it up, 30 minutes later, you're feeling it. All right. Now, here's... I got to suggest... And I want to... I want to pin... Put a pin in that because I've got to suggest for us for something later on when we get into the show, when we get in more specifically, the worst parents that I think might...

5:26 We might be able to cross promote a little bit here and come up with an event, but I'll talk a little bit... Remind me about that later on. Remind me of the bad parent event, okay? If I forget. Yeah, bad parent event. I'm drinking real beer. I haven't stopped. Yes. I think through the most genuine of us. This is 100% my favorite Japanese beer. This is my Sapporo that I'm enjoying here. I had some sushi a little bit ago, so now I'm enjoying my Sapporo, which is a must-have with any sushi meals. So... Oh, yeah. I feel like we're both on board here, but I am really interested in trying the THC, Oreda, that you're talking about there. So, yeah. Yeah, the liquor store has like this giant section and like a whole end cap, so...

6:07 Once again, find out. And is it that you're drinking right now? What's the name of it? It's called Trail Magic. It's the brand. Okay. And it's like Margarita is the flavor. All right. It's actually just a five milligram of THC. Okay. All right. You know, real good. Just kind of mellow you out. When you have too many of them. Make you funny. When you have too many of them. Does it make your mustache look bigger? Does it start to... Like all of a sudden you're... I just bring them to the mirror. And up in front of the mirror, it's going like this for... You know, playing with my mustache for like 30 minutes. You had another one didn't you? You're like, "I don't know what you're talking about." (laughter) With your desk, it would be sneer.

6:49 Yeah. All right. Good. That's awesome, but I think that's something we should definitely talk about. And by the way, I would open the door to any sponsors of... What's the brand again? Mm-hmm. Trail Magic. Trail Magic. We love Trail Magic here at the show. We do. I think my goal is to have a full of this... We're listening. We're listening to Trail Magic that we would be enjoying that along with something else at the same time. We'll talk a little bit about that further. And then we will also put together a parent test that I think you and I will have a chance to kind of work on and maybe shed some light on. All of that we'll talk about coming up a little bit later on in the show. Let's go. First, I want to start off with a simple question. Do you have a safe word? And I don't mean in the bedroom.

7:31 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Oh, a parent test. I get it. I get it. We're not. We're not. Yes. Yes and no. How about that? So if we had our only fans page up and running Chad, which we're still working on, if we had the only fans page up and running, that might be a different stuff. But apparently... Apparently, there is a new parenting trend. There's always a new parenting trend. Just wait another week if you haven't caught onto the last one and there will be another parenting trend. But the one that seems to be catching on now through social media is one where parents are talking about having a safe word. Now, the safe word is not in the bedroom. This is not a part of your sexual escapades and trying out new things or different things.

8:14 This is more of a parenting safe word so that you can say an essence to your partner, tag me out on the tag team match because I'm fucking done. Tag me in. You... I'll take over for you. Look, you've done a fantastic job. You need to catch a couple of... Get some hydration going. Catch a couple of breaks. Maybe I don't know. Have some THC if you need a magic trail, whatever it might be. I got it from here. I'll take over. And it seems to be something that parents universally on social media are saying, they've got... If not, if they don't have a safe word, they've got something remarkably close to a safe word. So it starts over this lock and Ashley Hammond.

8:55 Their safe word is sassafras. Sassafras. Which has less to do with hot and heavy petting and more to do with effective parenting. So what they say is when one of us is having a hard time with the kids, we could be very legitimately frustrated, completely out and not in our best moment whatsoever. We use sassafras to tap one another out. So you walk into the kitchen, your wife's been with the kids all day. You just get home from work. They're yelling, screaming, whatever's going on. They're fighting with each other. Your wife just happens to look at you as like sassafras. You know that's the key to fucking jump in like your, you know, your Mr. T tag teaming with Hulk Hogan and WrestleMania. And this is your chance to jump in and help out while she go catches, she's going to go and catch a break.

9:37 She'll say, all right, I like it. She'll sassafras. You later for sure. You're going to get sassafras at another time. I hope. Yeah, you hope it's reciprocal. Yeah, sure. So this isn't a gentle parenting thing. This is not, you know, everybody gets a trophy for competing, but it is a situation where you're seeing on social media. People talk about if they're losing control, if they feel like they're being too harsh with the kids, this is where they need to have a safe word to be able to jump in. And so according to the person who posted this, who got over four million Instagram views on, she's way, they're not, you should have a safe word. I just made me think, do you have one? And what is your safe word? Because the closest thing I have to a safe word is when my life, my wife will lean in and she'll just look at me.

10:23 I can tell because the kids are going crazy. She's got the most serious look in her eyes and she'll just go, fuck me. And it's not, it's not an invitation. This isn't a, that's your safe word. Fuck me. Fuck me is the safe word. Which, what do you think about it? It's not really safe for a, no, the kids or anybody else, a church, none of that. It's not good for you that, but it makes the point, right? I know it's time to tag in at that point. Yeah, it's time to tag in. Now, I would, I would also make the case. I think that if you, if, and I think this is, that's why they call it a safe word. And if you are in a relationship where you're in touch enough with your partner, you'll know long before the safe word has to be spoken that you should intercede or that they should intercede, right?

11:05 There's, they'll know. There's a, I know I should say something in here. I think my bigger challenge is I will, I might jump in too soon where I'm in trouble for jumping in now. Like, I had this, this, I got this all covered for why the fuck did you get, you didn't add to metal? Negative, negative, negative, SAS press. Yes. Negative, stay. Turn it for us and get the fuck out of here. So, so do you, do you guys have, I don't have a, we don't have a safe word other than I just know by my wife saying, fuck me that this is it. We don't, but we have used similar technique parenting, right? Where it's just like some shit's going on. One of us is stressed out. Yeah. And the other one, you know, that stressed out person, whether it's an external force creating that, they're trying to deal with a kid who's got an issue.

11:51 Yeah. And the other partner comes in and you know, it's like, hey, I got this, like, you know, tap out. It's cool. But now that I know I need to throw it down with like a, a safe word, that's even more fun. I think, I think I'm going to go with Jumanji. Ooh. You know, like, you say the word and like shit goes crazy, right? Right. Sort of the like a reverse Jumanji Jumanji mind. Yeah, it's kind of, I think it's kind of the indication that something, something Jumanji like has already happened. And so now, this is the, this is how you stop it. You could go beetle juice, but then you got to say it three times. Just, yeah, hopefully you guys aren't tagging in. I mean, yeah, multiple times because then, then you're next thing you know, you're in the afterlife and yeah, that's, and then it becomes a problem.

12:35 And then you've got like snakes and worm snakes and all that stuff. Here, here's, I just did a quick search in chat, GPD saying, give me some creative parenting safe words. Now they give me situations. Sex. Sex. Again, I had to make a parenting. I didn't want sexual passwords, although that might be something we do in the break here. But for a situation where I need help or get me out of here, okay, those, that's the situation you're in. I need help or get me out of here. Here's some suggestions. Pineapple. Wow. A fun word that doesn't sound out of place in conversation. That's not true. I think pineapple is very much, you got to, you got to work to get pineapple into a conversation.

13:15 Yeah. It's like Ted Lasso working into touch and he was into his first speech and would get him five bucks. Right. Try to work pineapple into a conversation is that's a heavy. That's like going, hey, Jim Nance, can you work pineapple into the Super Bowl broadcast? And okay, here's another one, banana peel, which signals a slippery situation. They want to escape. Also tough to get into the conversation. I think, I mean, if you just walk up and you know, stab somebody on the shoulder and say, hey, banana peel, maybe they get it. Maybe. That becomes the thing, you don't have to work it into conversation. Right. Definitely more fun if you do. I like to just walk up to my wife and say shit banger and I don't know what it means, but she knows that it's time to get out of the way.

13:58 A little spot on here. They suggest code blue, but I feel like your kids going to know. There's a point, like if your kids five, six, seven, probably not, but the minute your kid turns like double digits and it's 10, they know when code blue is being issued, wait a minute, you're warning dad about something. The whole point is to have a say for that doesn't make that indication clear. Yeah, although sassafrasse, I would think feels kind of like the kids would be like, code the hell, you're somebody Sam. That's good to say. Who under the age of 85 is saying the word sassafrasse? I mean, you're somebody saying sassparilla. What? What did you just say old old old man?

14:38 All right. They've got marshmallow, marshmallow is in there and then side. Side quest, a geeky way to say I need a detour from this situation. Again, so far. That also to me, that would be like side conversation is what that feels like. I got you. If I'm overwhelmed, then you break time turtle. Oh, there it is. Nobody caught that one when you slid that into the conversation. Space bubble. Okay. Lightning strike. Chill mode. Now that just sounds like you want to have sex and watch Netflix. Like that's, that's what that. Then moonwalk, which I would say don't even say the word, just do it. Just moonwalk across the floor.

15:18 Yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's what the action is. It is literally you're backing out of the situation. So your partner knows it's time for them to come in, but you're moonwalking it so you look cool. Just or throw down with some MJ on the on Spotify. There you go. That would do household speakers. That would do it. I think similarly, if it's for calm down or let's reset, they say reset button. Again, I think that's just a little too spot on kids. We'll know that on the nose. Yeah. Snowflake. Cool. Common unique. No. It's kind of a pet name and kind of not so not bad, not bad. Oh, how about this one? Breathe dragon. Weird combination awards there.

15:59 Reminds that is that what the imagined dragons were going to call themselves before you came up with that name. They originally went that way and then the guys guys the breathe dragons. There was another band out of Tampa that had the name breathe dragon so they had to go with the magic dragons. It reminds you to take a deep slow breath. They say, okay, done jellyfish. And then lastly, lastly, sloth speed. I don't like any of those really. Jack G.P.T. Kind of fucked us on that whole thing, but it's interesting. They're saying that this is the new trend for parents to do. Some of the ones that were suggested, let's see, they had in the article, but using phrases like, Yamalus is on the phone.

16:45 Hum? Yamalus is on the phone. Yamalus. Or, hey, I think we need milk are subtle enough that kids won't detect them as a parenting tool, they say. So one person, they made this, this couple made the suggestion. They just simply say, yellow to keep one another from seeing red when dealing with their strong, wild eight year old son. So they go yellow, not to get to red. That's their way. All right, I got it. Bubble gum. Bubble gum. Bubble gum. Okay. I like it. You just say it like your question, like bubble gum? Bubble gum. You know, why not? I suppose it'd probably just be bad to ask a similar question, just go murder.

17:28 Again, a little too often, those. It is. But effective, I'm the least. I think everybody stops when you say the murder is a question, like, you know, am I going to do it? Are you going to do it? Are we all going to do it? Who's going to do it? I just think if, as long as we're asking, we, what, were we looking at the same result? We're both thinking murder here, right? So as long as we're both clear, one or twin hours activate. As long as we're both clear in that front, you can take a break and I'll take over the murder interview from this point forward. That's the pre-burdening. Absolutely. I think it's going to be a really good interview, if you will. I like it. The pair, the pair also relies on rope as one of the words as a way to convert, like, ask each other if the issue they're having with their kid is worth the tug of war or if it's best to just drop the rope and let the boy have his way in the matter.

18:21 I feel that's a little judgy. I do. I feel like that's one person coming in and is like, maybe you should just give this up. Is it really worth the tug of war? You go orange juice, what do you mean? Is the juice really worth the squeeze? Because I don't know. I'm kind of judging from back here and saying, I think this is a stupid fight you're having. So why don't you back away from it? It becomes, I don't want to, I think it can't be a judgemental thing. I think it's got to be a, I see you're having a hard time. Let me jump in and help kind of a thing, right? Absolutely. Yeah. It has to come from that place of kindness for the situation, the de-escalation, all the things. I mean, I think it's a great idea. I said, we've done it and it works for us, absolutely.

19:03 Okay. To be able to have a different approach, because we don't parent my wife and I don't parent the same. I'm sure you guys don't, right? So your wife looks at you, fuck me. Let's kill the kids. You may sometimes have that same, that's the other thing too. I think your parenting styles change, right? One week you're the bad cop and then the next week you're the good cop. But having that word to kind of de-escalate is probably great, especially for the kids sake, right? Because you lose your shit at your kid. That's therapy bills. Therapy bills. Absolutely. It just takes all the steps to try to get back to where you were before as well. So yeah, no, I agree.

19:43 I think it's definitely worth having. I think, like, I should be having a conversation with my wife about a new word and not fuck me. But you should have a safe word that is enough. It is easy enough to make it in passing seem like the kids would not realize we're talking about the situation and that we're tapping in each other. Yeah. But also at the same time that I think it's not something shitty that chat GPT suggested. So the word, I think we're advising you creative folks. Yeah, go come up with your own safe word. You and your spouse, your partner, have a safe word. Talk about it ahead of time. So everybody's crystal clear on it. And then maybe even use it in situations it's not so desperate, but just get everybody used to it being there.

20:24 And then, and then you can integrate it into your parenting skills. You know, another piece of this I just thought of was that when you use the safe word, you both have to be willing to hear the safe word and then back away. Exactly. Because if you go, because like if you use rope, if you use rope that seems very judgmental, like no, no, no, hold on, I'm making my fucking ear. I got this. Right. So you got to be able to go, okay, somebody else is seeing something here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because in the moment, you may not, right? And I know I'm sure I'm absolutely a thousand percent guilty. So that's, I think that's a key piece of this too is as you're parenting and use this technique. Yeah.

21:05 Be willing to just say, okay, cool. I need to walk away for a second. Somebody noticed somebody I love, right? Somebody I trust. I'm out. Let them do this. Oh, this is so awesome. I didn't hit record on any of that video stuff. We've got all the audio of it, but zero video feed of that. Oh. Yeah. And then you should balls on mighty, right? Oh, hold on. Let me just, let me look at you straight. Fuck me. Well, it's starting, it's funny. I did notice that like the recording button, the little red thing at the top wasn't keeping track of the time. Yeah, I was just, I just wanted to look. I'm like, I'm gonna see how much time we have left, where we are. Oh, fuck, I don't see anything there. I'll be like, oh, yeah, I need the record button.

21:47 Okay. Well, we'll just, we'll just pick this up from here. So listen, if you missed the whole first part of this show, I'm gonna, I'm gonna call it already. We apologize, but you've got the audio portion of it up into this point. So you'll get video from this point forward, you're welcome. Yeah. But we've already determined the safe words and that you should have what Chad's drinking there, the magic trail, which is, T-A-C, T-A-C, T-A-C. Mark Rudeflavor. And especially me now that we're kicking in a February, we'll just keep going. Would you buy choice? Say goodbye to February for the alcohol and keep with the T-A-C. Oh, totally. Okay. Yeah. So, if your wife is into or doing is a hundred-day, she read someplace where, you know, having a break from alcohol for like a hundred days actually does a whole bunch of good things for your body.

22:31 Oh. So, yeah, I'm down for going that way and just having a little bit of, you know, a little T-A-C direct to show how to do that. We have to tell me how that is because I refuse. Yeah. But if it works, I'd love to hear about it. I'm not telling you about it. You look, sir, you don't know. I think the combination of you going through it and dealing with all of that shit and then coming back and telling us about it. And then, not only that, but backing it up with, and here's the T-A-C drink, like I might be able to jump on board now. Sure. Why not? The combo sounds like, you're like my doctor right now, in other words, you're figuring this out for me and I'll detoxify someplace and then completely toxify someplace else. That's right. Yeah. Change one for the other.

23:11 Doesn't sound like a bad thing at all. All right. But when, I don't know when this happened, Chad, I'm still confused by it and I didn't even know, I think it just hit me this year. I didn't sit back and look at how many holidays have become an excuse to go buy more shit for your kids. Like, it somehow, it was always Christmas time or whatever the holidays were for. Sure. And then, there was, there were birthdays, right, that you would be forced to. But it wasn't like, oh, I gotta get them 4th of July gifts? There's a 4th of July gift, actually, that's going on here.

23:57 Because at some point, and I'm trying to look back and think about it, at some point, what was Valentine's Day, which was, it's upcoming, but it was a simple thing between you and your husband, your wife, your partner, whatever your love of your life, you had a Valentine's Day. That person you were dating, whoever you were following on Only Fans, you had Valentine's Day. And it was just between you and them. It wasn't a, I gotta go buy a stuffed animal for each of the kids and then make sure that they've got chocolates and then we've got to put streamers up around the kitchen and the living room for Valentine's Day. Like, when did this turn into a now every holiday means a gift exchange for the kids?

24:42 Well, so I'm going to argue at this one, I'm going to say that if we have to give our kids a gift for every holiday, then our kids have to give us a gift for every sports season. Oh, and there are a lot of fucking sports people. Yes, there are. So I'm just saying, like you want good, you know, I don't know. I don't even like cookie, but I'm there for the kid. I want a hockey present, right? Right. Don't you want a hockey present? Absolutely. Dude, I want to crick it. I, a cricket present. Holy shit, are you can bowling? We should come on. Come on. I mean, it isn't there. Like, just scroll through your, your ESPN app and look at, browse and see every sport that's there ready to go.

25:23 Batchy, I mean, it's Batchy season. Batchy season. Batchy season? Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like they're, now they're marketing for, you know, it's, you know, it's, you know, they're marketing for, for Valentine's Day gives you can get the kids. It's, what's crazy to me too is it becomes, it's a vicious circle, right? Like, hey, we got to sell more crap, make more money for these people, but the same time too. Now, like bloggers, media, all these people are like, all right, let's write about something. So they, in effect, kind of kind of create their own little universe of like, oh, well, 15 gifts, you should get your kids for the Valentine's Day. Now all of the sudden, you know, like, oh, shit, well, I got to get my kid a, a gift for Valentine's Day and it just, you know, blows up.

26:06 Not for nothing. I love my kids. My kids are amazing. They're fantastic. Yes. They're beautiful. They're hilarious. They're, they're everything, but they don't give gifts very well to the parents. Not yet. Not yet. And I'm hoping by the time they will someday have their own kids, maybe they will, but the reality is like it, you know, it was, it was, it was Father's Day, Mother's Day, or birthdays and then maybe you have Christmas and that's kind of it. That's it for us. That's all we get really. Even for my birthday, like I might get, I might get to get, they take me out to pizza and beer and that's my birthday present, which is perfect. That's exactly what I want. They know it and it's a perfect gift. But wait, so you guys don't like rock out for Arbor Day? Gosh. No, but you should see now my daughter has sent me three lists already for, yeah, she's expecting for Groundhog Day.

26:52 Nice. I like it. I like it. And she wants them early. She wants them before sunrise. Well, that's when she's supposed to be done. I mean, yeah, you better, better get your ass on Amazon like tomorrow because like, seriously, my 10 year old daughter for the last few years thought that Halloween should be a day off because it's such a huge holiday. Like it's not, well, you guys, she's not wrong. Fucking candy. All month long, you have movies, shitty movies to watch every single day. All month long. You get candy at the end of it all, an endless supply of candy going directly. It I feed into your veins. And now you want to have a gift basket on top of it all that somehow is supposed to be a part of that.

27:34 Like as it were, we without giving too much away for a parents that have their kids listening, which I don't know why the fuck you'd be doing that right now. I wanted to teach your kid fuck. Fuck me. But the thing is, we had a, we would have a situation. Where, you know, at the end of Halloween, on Halloween night, so much candy, like way too much candy, right? So what we did was we had the great pumpkin come to our house. So on Halloween night, the girls got to pull, started off, I think, with like five and then it got to 10 candy bars, whatever treats that they got for Halloween that they wanted to keep. And the rest would go in a bag by the, by the, the chimney for the great pumpkin to come and pick up in the great pumpkin, then takes that candy and gives it to kids who didn't get to go trick or treating, gives it away for other kids to have who didn't get a chance to do that.

28:29 And solid and it did, and it is reciprocal because there was one year we were in Connecticut and we had a legitimate snow storm on Halloween and we, no one could go trick or treating. The kids couldn't go trick or treating. We've had years where the girls were sick on Halloween and couldn't go trick or treating and when they wake up the next morning, guess what's there? Candy from the great pumpkin. So it certainly is a reciprocating thing, but in trade, it's in trade in trade for that candy that they would give up to the great pumpkin. The great pumpkin would leave them a small toy as a token for, hey, thank you for doing this here. I'm taking the candy, here you go. Here's your toy. And that was fantastic. But then that started developing like, well, why isn't the great pumpkin giving me more?

29:10 I'm getting older. Where's my fucking iPad, great pumpkin? You know, you're like, hold on a second. You gave me about six bucks. You gave me more than candy and you want a $150 watch. I don't understand what you're talking about. How does that trade work? So you, it became, and then it became like, then you would have these, the, the booing's right, which is your neighborhood. You take some of the candy, put it in the whole thing and you go to a kid's neighbor's house and you doorbell ditch an ace in essence, but they've got a candy basket now with all kinds of things in it and you have these boo gifts. And then that became even bigger where people were giving them at school to each other and they had to have other shit in there. And then it became like also to little technical things and like a, a pop socket for the back of your phone and you're like, oh my god.

29:56 What happened? It just getting candy. So I don't know like you, you, you legit, I'm gonna try and see if I can share this screen, but there's like, they have this, as you talked about, bloggers have, you know, the ability now to write these things out and they get paid for doing it, right? It becomes what they do. Sure. And so now you get, let me see if I can share this here. Now you get, here are some great things that you can find for Valentine's Day gifts for your kids. What? That's not what Valentine's Day is about. Yeah, you love your kids. I don't need to get them Valentine's Day gifts. So they have a Lego set that's all about Valentine's. They have Valentine's Day Lego. They've got Valentine's Day themed activity books, coloring pictures and highlights.

30:40 What is happening here? How about a set of personal name crayons? Well, I mean, will I am is a pretty good artist. Good point. That's a very good point. I bet you, Fergie got that for him. I bet. Lovely PJs for your kids. Again, are you gonna do it for Fourth of July? Are you gonna do it for Memorial Day? Right. Are you getting president's day jammies for your kids as well? Because I do feel like, why are we turning everything? Don't leave our, our, our bidet out. Come on, let's do it. Don't. You're like, is that a Ficus on your pajamas? It looks like a Ficus. It really does. A personalized wooden tic tac toe set. Now, it's only 10 bucks at Etsy.

31:20 Sure. But really? Do we need? No, I thought you like this. Hold on. Yeah, hold on. That you like. Star Wars cookie? I like it. All right. That's good. Yeah. Will you be be a Valentine's Day? I will. I'll be be your Valentine's Day. Of course you will. A flower press for kids. So when, when did Valentine's Day become about everybody loving everybody and not just romantic love? That's what I'm saying. And it's not just, it's not even, it's what gifts are you getting to show me? You love me. Like it's not even, you can't even just give a Valentine. Hey, will you be my Valentine? Oh, sweet. You thought of me that way to give me a five cent card that you cut out from a piece of paper and asked to be my Valentine.

32:04 Maybe with a little eraser that smells like chocolate. Okay. I think you and I need to go, you know, like Guy Fox on this and just single handedly the two of us actually double handedly. We'll go on a mission and just like destroy capital. Wow. Capitalism. I tell you. Because that's what this is. It's just, you know, creating capitalism. So, but, but I think we can, we can probably take capitalism down just you and I. I just think it's, I think it sets a bad precedent. I really, really do. It does. It absolutely doesn't. And there's a, like a shallowness to just like giving gifts for, and it takes away the meaning or the value of gifts, like gift giving, right?

32:45 And if it's like, hey, every week, like, oh, I, here's your third week of the March, right? Gifts. And I feel like there's a, it sets up this whole world of your deserving of something which that holiday isn't, doesn't really exist. Like it's not your birthday where we're all celebrating you because you were born and you've affected our lives or, or Christmas because, you know, the, the, you've had a great year and we want to show family and friends that we love them. You're like, it's fucking president's day. That has nothing to do with you. You don't deserve a top hat filled with chocolates and candies and that's not how this goes. So I feel like we, we are entering a world where this is going to become the norm and then everything will be like that.

33:29 And every, every Valentine's day will be, we got to put more streamers up. We got to put more decorations up. You're like, it's Valentine's day. That's not necessary. We're, I'm taking your mom out to dinner. Yeah. Yes. So I feel like it's a bad precedent to set. Now I'm not opposed to, I think a lovely card is fantastic for your kids for Valentine's day. Tell them you're thinking of them. I think if you, if you felt like you wanted to include the family and going out to dinner on Valentine's day or making a home dinner, they get the girl, get the kids involved in making a dinner. That's fantastic. Make a nice romantic dinner. Have everybody play a little part, set up, you know, wonderful tablecloth and some bread and let the kids slice it and put butter, pats out.

34:13 What, what, I mean, that all makes sense. But to turn it into a gift giving, a gift exchange and I use that term very loosely because again, the kids are not great with giving gifts. I think, I think that that sets a horrible precedent going forward. No question has that. So lessened people is don't buy your kids fucking gifts for Valentine's Day or Arbor Day for that matter. Damn it. Right. Stay away from the look. All I'm saying is be choosy. Don't make it every, every, don't look ahead and schedule like you're already doing Easter baskets. I get it. That, you're picking eggs. You've got Easter baskets. Okay. Enough until you get to Halloween, which should just be about going out and getting candy.

34:58 There should be no baskets that come from Halloween. There should be no stuffies that come from Halloween. There should be no extra Halloween jammies. There's fuck all of that. All they need is the candy and the experience. You're already getting them a costume to go out and do trick or treating on. Then there's Christmas and that side of that is birthdays. Leave it alone. You don't need any more than that. You don't need to go out 4th of July and have massive gift giving expenses because it just happens to be a holiday that doesn't make any sense. Stop it people. Stop it. For the love of Memorial Day basket, nobody needs a memorial of any basket. But he does. I mean, no.

35:39 Surface people, perhaps with your kids. Sure. You need a Memorial Day basket, at all. But, I mean, yeah, yeah. There's no reason for that. Come on. It's a holiday. Really? Really my 10 year old knows labor deserves something for labor day. Come on. Please. She does not, not, not the reason for the season. She can't wash the dishes by herself. Why am I giving her a labor day gift? The love of Christ. That's it. Parental tweet time. Now, we've gotten, I think this is the most we've had since we've started this season up for season number three, the most tweets that are entered in as possible contenders and might, we're going to have a winner at the end of it all.

36:24 But also, what's the biggest question the parents are asking? Google. Right now that they are going into Google and asking questions to try to get answers to. What are those questions? We are all going to find out. We have the answer for that. All of that will be making its way to your ear holes here momentarily on the Dad's O-log down to the wall. Can I get you a drink? Beer. Oh, I love guys, Miller Halle. Well, that's too bad. I was hoping you were going to give me a golden shower. From the pristine bowels of New York City's East River comes the refreshing taste of golden shower ale.

37:19 Yeah, you too. Man, I could really go for a golden shower. Really? Well, you're in love. We recommend you serve golden shower at 98.6 degrees. Smooth going down and smooth coming out. Golden shower has the distinct taste you're going to get used to. Golden shower. Thanks for the golden shower. Now I want a 30-seat chast. Fuck her up, I don't know. Golden shower ale, go ahead, relieve yourself. Get ready for more madness.

38:01 The NCAA has announced it's expanding the men's college basketball tournament to include 4,096 teams. We'll separate the contenders from the pretenders in this hot and sweaty edition of the steam room. This is the steam room. We're only the strongest opinions can stand up to the heat. Alongside OSN college basketball analyst Joe Monticello, I'm Tim DeVan and Joe. Welcome to the steam room. You ready to sweat out some answers? I'm ready, Tim. Then close the door before the steam gets out, steam room begins now. Joe, is this a good move for the NCAA? Great move, Tim. I love this idea. There are just so many quality teams out there that lost a tough game, couldn't get over that five win, hump, or haven't even played a game yet this season. And it's great that the league finally let them all in. Now the division two and three schools will be let in for the first time ever.

38:43 Is this going to bring down the level of play? Absolutely not. Arkansas Tech had a great year, so did Flydler, so did Emporia State. Let's turn up the heat and talk about Eckerd. Fuck off for Eckerd, they got a full roster and they're having practices. So the league then will get to air next for a couple of thousand games and we're going to get college hoops all the way through June. June madness. You kidding me, it's great. But this is really for the fans. I mean they get to watch up to 500 games a day on OSN2 and OSNU. Time for some predictions. Essential Kansas region's got 300 technical and vocational colleges. Who's your pick for the 637678 matchup? Well I have to tell you, I really like the online university of Liverpool. Do you think they can take the region? No, no, no. I think that's going to go to the Zeynone International School of Hair Design. Oh, well, Town at the peak. It was crazy for Zeynone International.

39:24 Unfortunately they lost their star player, Cody Beak last year. He graduated and became a barber, but they still have a very talented core and I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see them show up in the fantastic 512 or maybe even the tremendous 256. Alright Joe, let's feed the boiler and get things even steamier. It's time for the final sweat. Can you handle the heat? I love the heat. Despite the NCAA's best efforts to include everyone, there are still some teams that got left out. Who's going to be missed the most? Well I would have loved to see Oxnard California's advanced truck driver school compete but unfortunately they didn't get their registration in for the tournament. That's right. I'm just going to place the application. Terrible. So 4,097 slots. Hey, why stop there, right? Damn it. I love college basketball. We know you do Joe Monticello and you have survived the steam room.

40:05 Open up the door and get yourself some air. Thanks guys for cutting through the steam. Up next, the NCAA women's basketball star test positive for baby. (upbeat rock music) Welcome back to the dad-to-home podcast. Number 306. And we've got four, one, two, three, four, I can see your chat of the tweets. - Nice tweet. - And maybe your tweet of the week, so without further ado, shall we get right into it?

40:47 - Let's jump in. - Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. - Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. - Twitter! - Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. - Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. - Votable. (votor buzzes) - Nice tweet. - All right, Mr. Chat, this is where we dive deep into the parental tweets of the week. I've got four of them here. We're gonna pick one of them, only one of them that will end up being the tweet of the week. So without further ado, let me clear our screen and get ready with tweet number, uno. Daughter, who just learned the alternate meeting of the word ho, quote, "What has Santa been trying to say?" (sniffs) - I mean, inquiring minds, one or no.

41:29 - And he said it not once, not twice. - Four or three. - Yeah, three times for Santa. So he must really, he's got a message he's trying to get across here. - I think he is. - We think he's a jolly old man, maybe he's just a great, an angry old man, maybe he's just an angry old man period. Here we go, that's that's tweet number one, Santa's ho. - Tweet numbers. - Tweet numbers are what make him jolly. - That's a good point. - There's no force stronger than the mom who wants her daughter to be first in Girl Scout cookie sales. I think we can both agree with that. - Well, as someone who has three daughters who at various times and still are Girl Scouts, I can attest to this that force. - Yes. - It is definitely, the competitive mom and the competitive kid for that matter.

42:15 I mean, that girl. - Yeah, but let's be honest, left to their own volition. The child will make an effort, but mom will make sure everyone knows everybody on Facebook, everybody in text messages, everybody everywhere. We'll know about those sales. - I too, I too may be guilty. - I have as well. - Of using that force. - Absolutely. - Outwork with friends. - Uh-huh, parents, grandparents. - I actually had what radio, when I was working as my NBC news radio affiliate, because of the National Correspondent, I was working in New York. I had a radio station in Savannah, Georgia by Girl Scout cookies from my daughter.

42:55 (laughing) - Wow. - That's awesome. - It was really cool. They were really great people and he bought some Girl Scout cookies from me. He was thrilled. He was much older. His grandkids had, you know, stopped being Girl Scouts. He had no contact. It was like I was a drug dealer. He had no contact for thin men's anyways and boy, did he want those thin men's, Mr. Chad. So I was thin men's connection. - Yeah. - You were his pusher. - I was his pusher, I was a thin men's pusher. Like yeah. - Yeah. - You tried the peanut butter? - Have you tried the peanut butter? - Right. - So, uh, so anyway, that is a very, very true statement. Okay, here we go. That's tweet number two, tweet number three. My seven year old forgot the intestines, the word for intestines, and called them meat lines in the stomach that are taller than you.

43:41 So we're not putting him in charge of naming things. (laughing) - We forgot the word intestines, called them the meat lines in your stomach that are taller than you. - I give the kid a lot of credit for coming up with that description. - Absolutely. - Not a great name, agreed. (laughing) - Wait, if somebody said, okay, give me what you think of when I say meat lines in a stomach that are taller than you. - If you just gave me that, I would be what are intestines and I would win jeopardy with that clue. - That's sea? - Yeah. - Exactly. - Meat to meat lines. - You would have me in meat lines. I'd be like, I'm pretty sure that's intestines. Yeah. - In your stomach, done. - Taller than you was the dead giveaway right there, but I would get to intestines, no doubt.

44:25 - Probably would get there. - Yeah, get there. - And then finally, and this is one, you sent to me, Mr. Chad, which I thought was hilarious. My wife just said, "Buccaqui in front of the kids." To my shock, then she admitted that she didn't know what it meant and thought it meant like bullshit or something fake and she'd said it in meetings. She said it in meetings. (laughing) - I made her Google it and now she's having a panic effect. (laughing) - This one, this one when I found this, I was just, I rolled on the floor laughing about this. - I mean, I can just see this lady in the meeting, being like, "Oh, that's Buccaqui."

45:05 - But there's four sentences in that tweet and everyone gets better than the one who ordered. - It absolutely does. - So yeah, I think maybe it sounds like both you and I are in agreement. This might be the winner. - I was gonna say let's do a drum, but I don't even think we do a drum roll. I think this is our winner here. - This is it, because, - Yeah. - Well, you picture it in your head, this woman, right, and then like, what I wanna see is the look on her face, when she Google it, and then like reads what it is and goes, "Oh, but I'm still back at the beginning." - I'm still back in the beginning, where if my wife said Buccaqui in front of the kids and that in and of itself, I would be roaring. I would be rolling on the floor laughing.

45:48 Let alone in her admitting that she has no idea what that means and what happened. - You said it in a meeting? - Oh my God. And I've used Buccaqui in so many references, so many different times than to have her glide diwol. - Hold on. - And then, hold on and then she said she said it in a meeting, fuck me, this is getting better. - I think we just found our safe word. (laughing) Kids won't know what it means. I swear to God, it won't. - It won't. - And if they ask you, it's a sushi. - You're right, it's not a sushi. - I was just telling mom I wanted sushi for dinner.

46:29 - Yeah, Buccaqui. - That math checks out. (laughing) - Oh, I wanna use that winner. That's our clear cut winner here for today and I hate nice twits. That is the best tweet of the week. (laughing) There you go. All right, let's move on here. If you've ever wanted to know what parents are searching for, like there are plenty of parents who ask other parents for advice. I think after COVID kicked in, we all kind of moved away from that and we spent a lot more time googling things. I'm pretty sure their parents right now, probably in the younger generation than you and I Mr. Chad, who are asking AI for parental advice. They're asking if they're doing chat, they're asking Google Gemini, whoever they're AI of choices, that's where they're getting their parental advice from.

47:15 But if it's not their parents, if it's not their friends who have kids or even their single friends that they're trying to get advice, which why would you do that? There's no point in asking your single friends for any parenting advice at all. Where do they go? They go to Google. And what are your top Google parenting questions? Glad you asked. We've got them right here, Mr. Chad. So without further ado, the top popular parenting questions by state. All right, so Google broke this down state by state. For instance, I should probably just reach the questions unless you let you guess the state. Just for fun. All right, let's do a couple.

47:56 Let's try. Okay, okay. In no particular order, it's all in alphabetical, but I'm not gonna go in alphabetical, I'm just gonna throw it around there. Okay, how about this one? Which state asked the most the most? Why is social media bad for kids? Which state asked that question? Oh. My answer is? Yeah. California. California? No, that is not the correct answer. California. California wants to know, why are kids so loud? (laughing) I mean, that's an excellent question.

48:37 I don't have an answer for it. I don't know that there is an answer for it. We may never know. The state who wanted to know why social media is bad for kids is Idaho. Idaho. Idaho. Sure. That makes a lot of sense. How about this one? How to talk so little kids will listen. First of all, when Google is gonna have an answer for you. I don't know what I mean. Wow, yeah, that's a, there is not an answer to that. No, I don't believe so. Does Google just go, I don't know. Yeah, Google just goes, "Yeah, fuck you." (laughing) Leeds in, leaves. That's it, fuck you. That comes from Louisiana.

49:20 Colorado. Oh. Colorado. Is it an orangey bastard? How about this one? How many hours of sleep do kids need? I think we all kind of know the answer. Don't we all start? Sure, it's always eight. Yeah, but what? But then more. Kids are like 10 and 12. I was gonna say eight is a minimum. If you can, you're fucked. So it's gonna be closer to nine or 10 hours, depending on their age. I gotta go with Alaska on that one. You're close. 'Cause like, Alabama. Why? Alabama, see. Here's the problem. You still need to know how to count and that rules Alabama out right off the bat. Get some work out there.

50:02 Yeah. Which is probably why they're asking on Google, right? Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah, it's a very good point. How about this one? How to help a child lose weight without making them feel bad? Iowa. No, Florida. Florida. Come on, it has to be Florida, right? Makes sense. Hey, how do you fit a fat kid in the bikini? Florida wants to know. That's a Florida question if I've ever heard one. Oh my God. Okay. That's terrible. Why do kids wet the bed? Why? Why do kids wet the bed? All right, I just swing. I'm a swinging swing. Here we go. Missouri. Close.

50:42 Georgia. It's Georgia wants to know. Georgia wants to know that. This state wants to know when do boys stop growing? Who is the dumbest state? All of us. No, we are concerned. Hold on. Let me also add this. Who's probably the most concerned with their boys growing really big? Oh, Texas. I think in more West. Big, really, really West. Like, I don't know. Oh, why? Yes, you got it. Why he wants to know. What the, we do boys stop growing? When do boys stop growing?

51:23 I mean, I've been to Hawaii. Most of the Hawaiians look normal to me. Where do they expect giants or like? Look, not everybody looks like the rock. I'll give you that. I'll give you that, but you've got your man for every rock. There's a man, Tai Teo. That's what I'll say. (laughs) Louisiana wants to know why won't my kid be quiet? Maine wants to know why do toddlers bite? Maryland is very interested in what kids learn in kindergarten. The state of Michigan. Why is my kid so mean? (laughs) 'Cause it's fucking cold. Where is my kid?

52:04 A dick. (laughs) Answer. Mississippi. Now, this is the most Mississippi fucking question you will ever get. Mississippi. See, I wonder if I just right. And again, this is the most commonly asked question in the state of Mississippi. People are fucking typing this into Google. Am I a good parent? Question mark. Okay. (grunts) I might have to type that in just to see what happens. I mean, first of all, how does Google know if you're a good parent? Jesus. Exactly. Google doesn't know who you are. Based upon your Google history, they're gonna have a lot of questions. I'll be honest with you.

52:44 Yeah. Also reporting you. Also, I want to put, I want to put your mind at ease, Mississippi, and tell you that you are a good parent, but you're from Mississippi, so I don't know if I can do that or not. I'm not even sure, frankly, you spelled parent correctly. I think Google corrected it for you. So I would like to say that, and I would like to say to any parent that if your question is, am I a good parent? The answer I've got for you is a question that it comes in the form of this. Is your kid still alive after the age of five? You're good parent. (laughs) Good job. It's gonna get tougher. I like it is. It is, it's, yeah, but I like the bar. I like the bar that you said.

53:25 But you know, you kept them alive. They stayed alive. They're breathing. They are attempting to learn stuff. I don't know if that's working or not for you, but they're at least attempting and they're alive. Hopefully they're, yeah, and hopefully they're not malnutrition. So malnutrition. Malnutrition. Thank you. For the first five years of their life. You fucking kept them alive, and I'm giving you a good parent gold star for that one. You should take that one. Now, from here, we're gonna really find out what kind of a parent you are, but for the first five years, yes, you kept them alive. Good to you. Nevada, they wanna know when kids go back to school. Well, New Jersey, very similar to Maine has a question along the same way. How does stop a toddler from biting?

54:07 What the hell with you people in the Northeast? (laughs) North Dakota wants to know when should a kid get an iPad? That's a fair question. That is a very fair question. I've actually got a guest in the works for joining us here to talk a little bit about that exact thing. If there's an age range, what the age range is that that should or shouldn't be happening when it's too early, that kind of a thing. There are multiple questions about ADHD, what causes it, what is it, what are the signs of it in kids? Those are a couple of different states that have that. And then, I'm wrapping up with your state, Chad.

54:49 Yes, let's go. Again, we're number one, number one is most googled question. Universally, by parents in the state of Texas, do you have a guess? What age can my kid shoot a gun? I mean, I think it's not a question. That's gotta be the question. The legitimate question, isn't it? Yeah, how about this? Why do kids stare? (laughs) Hold on, seriously, that's the question. That's the question. Why do kids stare? Who the fuck is staring?

55:29 People give us a lot of staring, I didn't miss, I didn't see a lot of signs. I get that in Texas. I don't notice it, but I mean, when you're out, kids are just fucking staring at you in Austin, is that ever happen? Well, you know, maybe it's the mustache, but the little kids, the grocery store and stuff, they stare at me, but I think it's like, I-- - What the dude's a mustache? - I would ask you if it's any different if you have not had your THC drink, 'cause that might be a little, first of all, who can't stare at that mustache? That mustache is just fucking amazing and every kid wants to have that mustache.

56:09 But I would say, people tend to be a little paranoid after they've had some THC, so maybe that makes you staring. Texas is very fucking stop staring at me, kinda state, like I feel like that's a very, that might be a fucking look at me. Don't you look at me. But kids, why do kids-- - Yeah, not adults, not a Hispanic guy, just kids, why are kids staring at me? All right, West Virginia probably has the best question, they just wanna know, why is my kid cursing? (laughing) - Oh, black and gay, I'm a-- - Morsh hair.

56:53 - Yeah. - You're a big boy. - Good point. All right, we might have some answers for the folks in West Virginia, which I think actually might be fitting for West Virginia, because when we come back here, we'll talk about entries, possible entries into the 2025 worst parent competition, the bracket that we've got. In fact, I think we might actually have a name for, if not the entire bracket, at least one division in the bracket that we may have to look at, I think it might be fitting and deserving. So when we come back, we will have not one, not two, three, maybe even a fourth one, and with that, I think an idea that might involve your THC beer, that's when we come back here at the Dad's Home podcast.

57:33 - Nothing, damn it. Oh, black and gay, I'm it. (upbeat music) - This is a clearly, clearly, not metrosexual moment in history. - Upside down Van Gogh. In Ontario, Canada, a teenage boy was snowmobiling at night in negative 20 degrees when he saw the perfect spot to spray paint on the side of a bridge. Young Van Gogh grabbed his paint, tied a rope around his waist and repelled off the side of the bridge. Hell yeah. You know what else is manly? Not thinking shit through. A thing called gravity flipped Van Gogh upside down.

58:16 Did he yell for help like a pansy? No. He tried to wiggle out of the rope by taking off his clothes, but it didn't work and he was left hanging there like a bad game magician at an inappropriate children's birthday party. Finally, some good Samaritan stopped him and called the cops and the local newspaper. Van Gogh was soon upside down, naked celebrity, one that had parts of his body turning blue. Parts that shouldn't turn blue. The real Van Gogh may have been dumb enough to chop his ear off, but he never thought of hanging naked from a bridge in negative 20. Screw extreme sports for a real thrill. Crack streams to pitty. This has been Lee Camp for more funny crap. Check out LeeCamp.net. Hey dude, are you tired of getting young women who have no idea how to please you?

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1:01:04 All gifts you can give your new girlfriend. I deserve to bone a babe who knows what she's doing and so do you. What are you waiting for? Come on now. Back to the dad's own podcast, but first, more dad jokes. Porn used to amaze me. I'd be like how they get that man and that lady to have sex at that bakery. But now the older I get the more I realize, men and women have sex at the easy part of relationships. You know what's like a fantasy to me now? You know what we'll be porn to me today? Just video of a man and a woman getting along. Like, wait. He has to work late and she's not going to take it personally. Oh, that's hot.

1:01:47 Wait, they went to a party together and they want to leave at the same exact time. Oh my God. Where they find these people. Wait, she wants to talk about the new duvet cover. He doesn't give a crap and she doesn't give a crap that he doesn't give a crap. Oh, that's going to make me finish. All right. Welcome back to the dad's own podcast. I wanted to start off with this horribly bad parent and I think it's more of a commentary Mr. Chat on a way of parenting or maybe it's a way of not parenting. That's how this should be looked at. This is how it should be viewed. But regardless, I think it's something that we can take and run with a little bit here.

1:02:29 And we'll keep in mind your magic hike. What is it called? Magic trail. Magic trail. All right, magic trail because I think we might be able to use it to our benefit here. Now, let's just start off with bringing you the image that I wanted to bring to our attention here. This comes to us from somebody who's reviewing whether or not parents should be allowing their kids to watch Deadpool and Wolverine. Not just with them, but should they be allowed to let their kids watch Deadpool and Wolverine period because it is a very, very violent movie.

1:03:11 It is a very, like they find new ways to kill people that involve way more blood than you would ever think imaginable. And what used to be probably a mistake of a splatter hitting a camera back in the old days, they relish in Deadpool. Oh, a purpose. Purpose. Like they're like, could we get more splatter next time? Cut, cut, cut. That was great scene. It violence fantastic, not enough splatter on the screen. Let's retake it until we can get that blood gushing all, could you just bust an artery on the screen? That'd be fantastic. So this review, get those special effects guys up here. What does it say?

1:03:52 It says, if I wasn't concerned about the content, I consume, I might have enjoyed Deadpool and Wolverine more, but the explicit content cannot be ignored. And this is a review coming from somebody who was asked if it was okay if their kids watch Deadpool and Wolverine with them. So I thought, I've seen Deadpool over here. I'm presuming you've seen it as well. Yes. I don't know that you have, so I thought I'd ask you for sure. But I thought this might warrant a special episode of the Dad's Home podcast. All right. Where are we? Where we sit down and stream Deadpool and Wolverine watching it together.

1:04:34 It would be the accompaniment for you guys at home to watch Deadpool and Wolverine with us. You'd be listening to us sort of it would be sort of the equivalent of like the Easter egg audio in watching the video of the movie. Here's Chad and I were sitting down in your house with you in this case. I'm suggesting not drinking beers or vodka or whatever other alcohol that I've used usually got there while I'm watching the movie, but rather trail magic margaritas perhaps. That's what I'm suggesting. So that's the good folks who make the trail magic margaritas might be interested in sponsoring set event where that would be awesome. You and I sit down.

1:05:15 We get the cameras rolling. We get the mics rolling. We pop in. Now you guys at home wouldn't be able to see or even frankly really hear the Deadpool and Wolverine. You're watching it at home yourself. You could be accompanying it with us having comments as to what we're all watching on screen. And then we can make a decision. I almost think it could probably be worthwhile to have like a tap out bell although my guess is if we were going under the guys of is this okay for children to watch and we've set up the ground rules. Oh man. We're not into that movie but three minutes before we're like tap it out. I don't even think we make it for five minutes.

1:05:55 There's no way we make it. Five minutes. No fucking way. So if there's if there's a tap out. Oh like okay. At what point are you watching this movie and the violence becomes too much to show to your children? Yeah. During the credits through the opening credits really. I know by it. Yeah. I mean, there's got to be a some sort of a score that's kept. I think there's got to be something like where we ding a bell when we're like fuck I would not let my kids watch the scene. To violent maybe there's a messaging in there. Sex. I always hear him talk about getting pegged and that kind of stuff like if you were dinging a bell at those things like what would that score look like and that might be a way for us to determine whether or not your kids. I'm just thinking like if we were the syscull and ebert the current day syscull and ebert of parenting like could should your parents should your kids watch this movie that might how would we have our own gimmick that way couldn't just be a thumbs up or thumbs down.

1:06:49 We know that sounds like that's a podcast. That's what happens. And so I think if we started off with this episode if we started off the first episode being Deadpool versus Wolverine and then we're doing we're watching it again this is for the parents is not for the kids to watch. Yes. Right. We're watching it while we're enjoying the THC drink. Perhaps a few of them. Yeah. This could be a fun pod. It could be the worst podcast on the face of the earth or it could be so much fun. I can't figure out which one it's going to be except not had a THC drink before. We have it. You know, we haven't tried this podcast. Right. We don't know. It's fun to we try it. Right. Right.

1:07:29 Which is which is what I tell my my wife all the time. Does it work for her? Does she sign out on it? No. Not yet. All right. So we don't know if it's fun unless we try it. Look honey, you're not I promise. It'll be I think it'll be fun and you can tell the same. The same word is sassafras. No, not bucokey. You don't want that right now. You don't want to yell out bucokey right now. Not now. Sassafras. Sassafras is fun. Bucokey might be messy for you. All right. So that's my that's my that's my thought from this possible. I like it. I like it. Now let's move on to some real worst parents, some possible worst parents. As here's the first one and I'm going to say I don't feel like this is probably my least offensive as far as a worst parent competition goes.

1:08:14 But factually and with the visual there's definitely a problem but I'm not good. I think the intent is is what is separating this from everybody else. So without further ado, let's watch this mom and her little kid together on the toy horse. Bouncing up and down. She's filming it. The little boy. Oh, oh, oh, you're gone. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Now she's bigger than the toddlers probably too. Like he's barely holding on to mom, right? Two to a half. Yeah. Again, they're bouncing bouncing. She's filming from all angles and the spring breaks. Oh, bad judgment.

1:09:03 Bad judgment. Yes, I would say there's bad judgment there on behalf of mom for any adult. I don't think adults should be riding the kids toys that probably I would say have a warning as to what the weight limit is on it. And folks, if you have ever found yourself looking at some food item that you bought at the store or a bag or a coffee cup, basically anything that has some warning label on it. Don't drink this acid, right? That is because somebody just like this mom actually did it. And there was a lawsuit. Now they got to put that on all the packaging.

1:09:45 I guarantee you that before this woman got on there, somebody else, some other woman got here or man or whatever, broke it, hurt themselves, right? Yeah. Yeah. So this is sort of like a, did you read the label? No, okay, sorry about that. I just want us all to listen to it just one more time. Yeah, I know. Thanks for going well. The baby's happy. This is fun. They got a fire in the fireplace like there's all good vibes happening until the spring works. The dog is sitting there watching it. And then all your guys. One thing I too, I love about all these videos that we watch is the person taking the video.

1:10:29 There's nothing else. There's nothing. It's just like kind of points it to the ground like nothing to see here folks. Well, I'm with this. Yeah, but I'm just going to sit here. You could have just squash. She could be out cold and the kid could be underneath and you haven't even gotten up for a second to try to help anything. Right. Right. So there's that's number one, which again, I is an accent. I see. Not intentional. But also just some dumbass like read the weight level, right? It's right. Right. You should do a better job of pair and he's poor parry. I wouldn't say the worst because we still had another one to couple get here.

1:11:10 Yeah, this one just is something that I I hate to see, but it's happening way too frequently. And I believe because of this, we should possibly possibly name the worst pair of the tournament after wall marts. Now listen, before we go any further, there's a couple of moms fighting at Walmart, which started by where the checkout was and then eventually moved down to one of the aisles, which I can tell you now looking at it is the shampoo aisle. So the two moms are fighting in the shampoo aisle, but here's the thing. There's a kid that's standing there, a kid that maybe is five or six years old, maybe.

1:11:54 And one of those moms is his mom. And the reason I know that is because she yells at him to hit the other woman while the fight is happening. And then the fight continues to go on and you'll see this is all happening in front of children at no point. Do either of these moms, even the one whose son is standing right there, do they stop and say, maybe, maybe this isn't a wise idea. Do you see the kid hauls back? Did you see how he hauls back?

1:12:34 He's gonna jump in. He's gonna jump in. This is not the first time this fucking kid has seen this. This is not the first time this fucking kid has been told to hit her in the fucking face. This kid is a veteran. This kid is like Rocky on the playground. Who probably is? Alright, so look, so get to the point where. Headlock is like bad wrestling. He's yelling mommy. He's yelling mommy. This is my character. It's the hardest. Hold on, hold on.

1:13:15 And he grabs... He's punching her. He's punching the woman. Look at that. Oh Jesus. And then he goes and grabs a bottle to hit the woman over the head and the bottle with a bottle. He's, he's, he's tonning her. Do something about it. Do something about it while she's on the ground getting beaten by the other woman. He's kicking. He grabs a bottle. I think the one starts hitting the woman over the head with a bottle of conditioner. And I'd like, I'd like, I'd like to say the woman who's his mom in the video here.

1:14:00 He's standing there in his yellow Batman shirt as she's on the ground punching the other woman in the face in the headlock. I'd like to say that the mom of that little boy is the worst parent of the year right now should be entered into the competition. But I also think that the other woman's got some responsibility in all of this. They, they could, I, I loved to know what started the fight. Yeah, but that said, still fighting in Walmart, which, there's your name right there, fighting in Walmart. That's the name fighting in Walmart. Yep. From the Walmart, I was thinking was it from the Walmart division in the worst parent bracket it could be. Oh, yes.

1:14:41 We're at the Walmart division, the Walmart. Yeah. Okay, you got the Northeast division of the NCAA tournament. We've got the Walmart division. Time to be the first time. Walmart division. Okay. Or we could just have the Walmart worst parent of the year 2025. Well, I mean, this, this is going to be hard to beat, but I bet you if there's some video out there of other parents being behaving badly in Walmart. So it could be its own, it could be its own, you know, I, we're parent could be wrong, but I thought there was at least a Twitter account, maybe an Instagram account of parents fighting in Walmart, like it was so, so, common in the current. It was, it was somebody created a site in order to capture and get, get people to send them videos of fights that they'd seen in Walmart in the past, but that's, that's not the point is here.

1:15:28 The kid is kicking and he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's kicking and punching and taunting this other person grabbing a bottle of conditioning while mom is punching the woman in the face. He's smacking her over the head with a bottle of conditioner. Yeah, that's, she, this is like, I, this may, if this one doesn't, isn't the worst one today. Right. It's definitely a plan. Right. Definitely, definitely a plan. All right. The last one at you that might be, and again, I, I think intent goes to play here, but then there's the physical aspect of what happens and maybe intent gets thrown out the window, but let's see here in the final entry today. This dad could be charged after appearing to use a three-month-old baby as a snow scrape.

1:16:14 The video was filmed after a brutal snowstorm hit Texas. Police saw the video and said they'll likely bring charges of child endangerment against him. So in case you missed it here, there's a dad with his man, Bunn. He's got his three-month-old baby that's got a jacket and pants on. He's picked up the baby by the jacket and is moving him back and forth like an ice scraper on the back windshield to remove the ice from the windshield. Dad could be charged after appearing to use a three-month-old baby as a snow scrape. The video was filmed after a brutal snowstorm hit Texas.

1:16:55 Police saw the video and said they'll likely bring charges of child endangerment against him. Oh my god. Now if you ever wanted to see a reason not to do meth, this is it. If, and I'm not, I, again, I feel like this was more of a joke than, hey, okay, well, it's all for a second, just for a second. Legitimately, you're not going to use your child to scrape ice and snow off of your windshield. They are ineffective. It's ineffective. It's just stunt. Right. It's a stunt. It's a stunt to get like viral viral. Thank you. This is for him.

1:17:35 He did for the wrong fucking reasons. Right. That's exactly it because also snow never happens in Texas. Although I think you would argue it's happening more frequently these days. It does. It generally doesn't happen there. People aren't prepared. I lived in Austin for a year. There was no snow, snow truck, snow plows. Nobody was, uh, there's something in the road. Kids, it doesn't happen. So, can't even buy salt. Thank you. I had to get, I had to get water softener salt, busted up with a hammer and poured that out of my driveway because it was the only way I could salt down my driveway when it was over. So here's the thing. Uh. I felt like this was all a gimmick and that he was, but he still used a three month old child for the fucking gimmick.

1:18:18 The baby is the back of the baby, the butt of the baby, even for that matter. I don't see him bracing the head of the baby. If you look at this, it rolls back and forth. He's got, it's like, it's the equivalent of him holding the baby by the shoulders and shaking it as he's rubbing it against the back window to clear snow off of the back fucking window. Oh. He's shaking the poor child. Look at that. All right. So. So the intent, so I think was to get viral video. I don't think, but regardless, he did it. He used his child to get hits on, and likes on social media.

1:18:58 And now he's going to be charged with something. It's them, him, man, bun, or the women fighting in Walmart or toy, toy, toy, toy, toy, horse lady, which one of those three Chad? You're, now, your spot on, your spot on the, the horse lady is the least, at least thank you. Thank you. I think we throw her out automatically. Like it was a horrible accident. I feel bad for her child and whatever, whatever, whatever reconstructive surgery he has to go through. But at the same time, it was an accident. It was purely a mistake. I'm not putting her in because that the intent doesn't go there, but these last two are seriously intentional.

1:19:44 They are. And so I, I am voting Walmart moms, okay? Because, because of the behavior of the kid, the fact that she's encouraging the kid to be violent, right? And, and to keep the violent and keep prolifically doing it. He's obviously done that before. That's not his first time. That wasn't his first rodeo. So, yeah. This guy, this guy, this guy, Maley, may, you know, well, learn his lesson, but he's fair. If he puts, if the video continues with him putting that kid down on the ground and the kid automatically does snow angels, well, now I'm, now I'm concerned. I'm fucking concerned because the kid is learned something from dad using his ice spray berth.

1:20:27 And that is, that is a dumbass move, but it's not, it's not as, as terrible parent as encouraging your five, six, your old boy or how old. I rolled that kid. Here's, and I'm gonna agree with you on this front. First of all, anybody who shows up at this guy's backyard while he's using the baby to scrape ice off his windshield, probably confused, but not calling the cops right away. You walk into that Walmart aisle and the kid is kicking the woman as well as the other woman's beating them. They're calling the cops immediately. So I'm gonna agree with you on that level of it. I'm gonna say yes. If this guy gets some serious charges brought against him in Texas for using his child as an ice scraper, I might, we might have, we might have, we might have, we might have to include him as a play in.

1:21:07 He might have to agree in. I would agree. I would agree. We're gonna have to do a little research on man bun. Yeah, we're gonna have to wait and see if man bun does get some charges that are larger that get drummed up against him because again, I don't, I don't know, I mean, he's not really holding the child. Look, first of all, if you're going to scrape ice off of the window, you've got to have leverage, right? And you need something sharp to be able to get down to that ice. Even if you've got a credit card, I've seen people use the credit card. I'm living, I'm living Michigan for fuck's sake. You use credit cards or other things to scrape away with a sharp edge. That child has no sharp edges. Jacket or nothing's got no sharp edges. So it's a big fallacy to begin with, but he's trying because look at him. No where in this video is he laughing.

1:21:49 He means business. Look at that face. He means business as he's shoving the baby across the ice to wipe it off his window. He actually looks pissed off right here at the end. Yeah, like, yeah, like, damn it. I got to do this. Like, wow, I should have been. I should have gotten a car with a defroster. What the fuck? Give me the baby. Trisha, Trisha, get me the baby. What are you doing? I got to get to work. I got to get the ice off this. You're in a t-shirt. What do you come here and bring me the fucking baby? I got to get to work. Oh, Trisha. What are you going to do with the baby? Trisha, Trisha, baby now. Do you see? My bun is falling out.

1:22:30 I've got to get to work. Oh, that money doesn't make itself. All right, so we're in agreement. It's the Walmart mom. Definitely Walmart mom. Walmart mom whose kid gets into the fight and smashes like he's like he's Jimmy the mouth of the South heart. Smash is the opponent with a conditioner bottle on the head. That's our worst parent of 2025 entry this week. That's the entry this week. We're going to hold off our judgment on the guy using the kid as the ice scraper. For the possible entry and certainly a play in element coming forward. All right, I feel comfortable with that. Do you feel comfortable with that?

1:23:10 I'm, yeah, absolutely. I don't feel comfortable with that kid. Certainly don't want to cross him in an alley. You mean, look, I don't know. Maybe he started off being used as an ice scraper Chad. We don't know. How do we know? We don't know that that didn't happen. That's very possible. Yeah, and quarry minds. What an out. Bukaki, let that be your say for this week and then we are going to let you know if we plan to do the Wolverine versus deadpool movie review until then for Chad and myself. Bukaki. I know sometimes I'm out of control. You're the only reason I keep on coming.

1:23:52 You're the only reason I keep on coming. Yeah. You're the only reason. I keep on coming. Yeah. (dramatic music)