"No Creepy Guys!" | Episode #101 | NSFW

0:00 [Music] Oh, that music means so much. God do I love it. Welcome to a brand new podcast. We're calling "Breaking." Brands, the podcast, "Just stroying ads," television ads, radio ads, doesn't matter the type of ad we're here to just lay it out and destroy it. And Chad, before we get into this, I thought we'd give a little background for the people at home who are listening to one of these two Yahoo's doing talking about this to begin with.

0:42 So I'll throw it over to you first to give a little background on yourself before we start kicking into the first ad we're going to tear up. Yeah, so we're not just a couple of assholes on the street. Although if you did see us and ran into us, you would think that's a couple of assholes on the street. For sure. I come from an advertising background a bit in the business for 30 years. In some shape or form or another starting, you know, coming out of school, graphic design, art director at a big agency, jumped into the website of things, had my own agency for a while. So I've done it all. Seen a lot of good and a lot of bad.

1:23 And yes, I probably produced some good and some bad. Some of it was my fault. Some of it was the clients fault. Sure. Nine times out of 10th clients fault. So that's my, you know, secret formula to this. But yeah, so having seen lots of advertising from the creation side of things, I will bring that eyeball for you. And having worked in radio for 30 plus years and produced a number of those really shitty commercials myself, as well as, you know, tried to contact some of the clients. Are you sure you want to word it this way? I think that might not. Here's a couple of suggestions just spitballing here. But yeah, you might want to.

2:06 So maybe put a comma in there so it doesn't sound like you're raping a horse or something. I don't think an entire run on sentence for 60 seconds is going to work for you. I think there should be a pause someplace. Yeah, somewhere perhaps. A breath. I think that it comes down to when you hear or see a bad commercial, you know, like there's no saving that you've, you, you might not, they say is about any number of things like if you hear a bad song, if you, you remember the bad, you remember the bad service. You don't necessarily remember the good service when you go to a restaurant. You remember what that server's name was or even for that matter what they did that made you feel good and special. But if you get bad service at a restaurant, you will fucking remember that person's name and you will, will lock in there.

2:50 You'll never go back to that restaurant again. The same thing I think was true for commercials here. And I think that's why we want to bring this thing because look, it's one thing to just rail against then we're not here to rail against any of these businesses. I don't know the first thing about the business. We're going to be tackling here today. All I can tell you is the commercial is stupid. The commercial sucks. And I think it goes, what do you do when you got a commercial who's script for the most part just slaps in the face of the point they're trying to make inside the commercial context itself. When that comes up, that's when you go, you really should have run this by and spit ball this a little bit further before coming out with it. That's the thought process that I have.

3:34 And then we'll dive into what goes on the more this spot continues to play and how we're just going to continue to hate it even further and further further. I come up with new ways to hate. Oh my god. And there's always something else. And we're talking about a 30 to 60 second spot that in the case of what we're going to be talking about today is aired on the radio in my hometown. It's so frequently aired on any number of radio stations that you find new and unique ways to hate it based upon every sentence in the script. And again, the business could be amazing. Could be top notch wonderful reviews, but that's not why we're here. I'm not here to trash the business. We're here to trash the commercials.

4:18 That's what we're here to do. So again, could be the great important caveat. Yes, could be the greatest business. Could be the most important business person. And the best client, the clients that they have all think that this is the best business going. But we're going to attack the commercials that they put out. So I want to make sure that we've got that clear delineation here because I think it's important to note that you can have a great company, but you can also have a shitty backfire and commercial that could be doing you more harm than good. And that's what we want to investigate here. So, but that said because we're going to even things out as best we can. We'll come back with a commercial that we really like to wrap things up with here as well. So yes, will we hammer away and insult the commercials? Yes.

5:01 Will any copywriters that worked on any of these spots fucking hate us afterwards? Yes. And I have no problem with that. Do will will hopefully the production company, the copywriters, the business learn a little something from these spots that they're putting out. One can help. One can. But we're going to give it to them the straight up, easiest and in their face way that we possibly can. This is the way they've sort of unloaded these commercials upon us. So let me start off Chad by introducing you to Mrs. Michael. Now here in the great city of Detroit, Michigan, these spots are run everywhere. You can't get away from them. And Mrs. Michael is a person who is a business woman. Her husband was a plumber slash electrician, slash HVAC person and then started his own company and started individual companies for all of them.

5:53 And was trying to run this company. Now he's handy with the tools according to Mrs. Michael, but wasn't handy when it came to running the businesses. So she took over the businesses. Hence Mrs. Michael is in charge of getting these businesses up and running. And I am I give her full credit for that. I think it's fantastic. I love women run businesses. And the fact that she's here in a very blue collar place like Detroit, Michigan. And she's a woman running these businesses is fantastic. I love every element of that. Except for the commercials. They're so local. Now I don't have to say that this is wrong on every level.

6:34 But I would say and you told me as an advertising guy, 99% of self voiced commercials, the business is doing the voiceover themselves. They're the ones who have probably written the script or at least approved a script from a copyrighter to do it. But they're the ones voicing the spot generally come across as some of the worst commercials that I've heard. Amen. Hallelujah. And can I get another one that is so true. I was going to ask you on this one. I'm guessing Mrs. Michael probably is voicing this. Yes. Yes. Which is the kiss of death and advertising unless you know Ryan Reynolds is running your country your company. Yeah. Then then yeah put him in front of the camera.

7:20 But it works. Yeah. Right. I'm like, Oh, Ryan is he still says I go back and you I think you may know this from being west when you were talking about you know coming up in Arizona, but also in Colorado. I don't remember if you remember the shame company. Sure. The shame company. It was a jewel. It's a chain of jewelry stores. Jewelry stores like on the west coast and in the west area and Tom Shane did the commercials for the jewelry store and he read all of his own spots and those were some of the worst spots that radio is ever aired. And when I would be as a host on the air and we'd have to arrange the commercials in order for most relevant for our audience down to the very bottom.

8:00 And if I was like in a rock station, you'd be like, OK, do I put Tom Shane before the tampon commercials or am I dropping him under as far as what's relevant under the under just I can see my go under. He's gonna need. And you couldn't he also had no sense of humor so that when you would take things like out of context as a rock and roll radio host, you take things like Tom saying like she's gonna love a pearl necklace. You're like, let me isolate that well time. Yeah, well time. But he if you go to use that on the air at some point he runs, he pulls a spots from your station because he doesn't like you using that. So again, just in that light, if you are a company running your own voices on the spots, I think that's a death now for what you're doing.

8:44 Now, case in point, I'll start off by showing you a little bit about what we see out here for Mrs. Michael, which is one of the website that we've got shows this wonderful graphic of her team and their fans. But look at the graphic here. Mrs. Michael, what is it center there? No creepy guys. That's the big thing for Mrs. Michael apparently is the no creepy guys. She's a woman running the business and she wants this is she's aiming this directly at other women. Although they play a lot of the ads on the sports talk stations and the raw. Not a big 18 to 34 year old women demographic, but the point is she wants you to know that if you're calling their service ladies, you needn't worry if you're home by yourself.

9:28 There will be no creepy guys coming over to do your plumbing, no creepy guys coming over to fix your heating or your H back because it says so right on the van there. There are no creepy guys. Now in addition to that when you look at this again, let's look at some of the creepy guys that may work for her. I don't know, but you look at some of these people here more this guy over here the corner by the van. It could be I mean, there you could this guy here hiding his eyes looks unibomorish, but that's not the point of animation. Probably the nicest guy would come over and fix my H back and I'm all this notice. But all these people that you see here Chad come into play for this commercial and that's what I want to play for you now.

10:10 All right, let's go. Shockingly enough it was tough to find. I couldn't find a clean version, like a clean recorded version on YouTube anywhere of the spot itself. I couldn't find one on their website. I did find them talking about what it takes to put a new foundation in your home and what they do as far as working the plumbing and H back elements therein. But nothing for the commercials that they actually run on radio stations. So I had to find somebody recorded this in their car driving around listening to the radio. You could see it 820 at night. With their cassette player. With their, the removable face CD player. They're listening to this and they recorded because it's so stinking bad.

10:53 So let me bring this up again. I apologize for the poor quality. It's what we've got to work with right now. Try to adjust and listen to the Mrs. Michael commercial. We come when we said we would be there. Your problem vanishes into thin air. I hire good men and good women who do good work. We won't disrupt your household. We won't disrupt your household. We are under strict instructions not to disrupt your household. Okay, so what are we learning so far? They're not going to disrupt the household. Got it? Is that a thing? While repeating it three times, the science shows that that works. In case you were wondering after the first, did he just say he wasn't going to disrupt the household?

11:33 Then the second one comes and goes, "Oh, no, we're not going to disrupt the household." Wait, but did two people? No, no, we've got the third person saying, "We're working on it." And again, as you hear her read through this spot, she's not even trying to act. She's just reading her bay them as this goes along. And terribly. Terrible. Terb, she needs a little coaching. Let's listen, because this is the part where she sells you on the no creepy guys. Now, as you can hear, it's not just her, but she's brought in a couple of people from that crew that we saw earlier that are reading the commercial as well. Mrs. Michael Geisen, hire creepy guys. No creepy guys. Go to MrsMichael.com. Or go to we won't disrupt your household.com.

12:15 Or go to no creepy guys.com. Or... Or... Guaranteed. A guy just pulled up in my van and he's not creepy.com. Wait, wait, wait, it's got to go on. There's got to be more than that for you. We were. Go to our website. We won't kidnap your children.com. What? Why are you putting these thoughts into my head? Why are you now? Oh my God. That every person that just testified on behalf of Mrs. Michael sounds like a creepy guy that's gonna show up if you call Mrs. Michael, even if you go to the website, nocreepyguys.com.

12:55 I mean, listen to it again. They sound better as far as readers go than Mrs. Michael. To the house of Michael, we won't disrupt your household. We are under script instructions not to disrupt your household. And Mrs. Michael Geisen hired creepy guys. No creepy guys. See that? Nooo, creepy guys. Creepy! That's a very creepy thing to say. Go to Mrs. Michael.com. Or go to we won't disrupt your household.com. Or go to nocreepyguys.com. Mrs. Michael.com. I'm Mrs. Michael and I want to be your guy. Or go to I want to be your guy.com.

13:35 Mrs. Michael.com. That's enough guys. Okay. A lot to digest there. Oh Mrs. Michael. But in none of those cases, did I feel like those weren't potentially creepy people? It's a kin to why, like don't think about a pink elephant Chad. And then all of a sudden you're now thinking of a pink elephant. I get that you're trying to sell the fact that maybe some women are frightened by hiring a service coming to their home where they'll be creepy guys. But if you address that to, I think there are other ways to get your point across. Yeah, she's got, I mean, she's got, look, she gets some great points in the commercial.

14:18 So let break it down to its pieces, right? Hey, we don't disrupt your household and no creepy guys. Wait, they just rubbed the household? Hold on, did you hear that? I did. A couple of times. And I think they repeated all of those things about 45 times. Because like they were trying to get the Google ad words thing to work in their favor by like trying to game the system. So key wording it, like, which I don't know, does that work in radio? Is it like a new thing that I haven't heard of? I don't know. It seems not. But, yeah, her just the fact that those, she hits you over the head hard with those messages. It's one of those things that's like, it's so bad and so terrible it works because you can't.

15:01 But stop thinking about it, right? Like the pink elephant idea? Can't you write something that gets the message that was without like a thousand times, a thousand times? Because to me, it's a kin to just having the men on the radio going, hey, we don't rape. Hey, we don't rape. Oh, hold on. We don't rape. Go to we don't rape.com. You're just like, wait a minute. I don't know that we need to just keep saying that over and over again. That thought is one you probably don't want to have in their mind for them being the listeners. You don't want to have that in their mind at all. Like, why would you even think that I'm going to be raping you? What is that? And now you have to go, go to don't go to Mrs. Michael.

15:44 Well, let me rape.com that no, that you don't, you can create an ad that gets the same message across without having to go, I'm not going to rape your daughter. Come hire me. I'm plumbing. What I hate is nobody stood up to Mrs. Michael who probably wrote and directed this and recorded it in her basement. And all these guys were in a pry handcuffs to the wall. But I mean, no, it's like this is also where those are too. You can hear the chain that can hear the chain attached to the wall. Yeah. Yeah. The, the no creepy guy thing if I just keep saying that I'm not a creepy guy, then you're going to believe me.

16:24 Well, but secretly I am a creepy guy. Right? Like it's like that. Maybe that's what's going on. Interesting. Why don't you bring me a creepy guy? And that's interesting. Okay. Because I do think that that becomes the bigger problem because that what we're going to walk away from, whether miss, and again, Mrs. Michael, I think is wants to get the right idea across. And I love the idea that she's giving because I've you and I are, for those of you who don't know us from the dad's home podcast, we are our girl dads. And with that, I love the fact that there's somebody out there who's concerned that if my daughter is at her apartment, home away from home at school, her first apartment in general, and she needs plumbing help or HBAC help, that this woman in particular wants everybody to know not creepy guys that she's sending out.

17:07 I like that. I don't think you need to hit us over the head six, seven, eight times with it in a 60 second commercial. And bring that to our attention when maybe we weren't even thinking that to that extent. Like it's good that you're filtering, but you should be doing that behind the scenes, not out for everybody to see, because now you're going to be under a deeper darker scrutiny again, if your commercial was, hey, hey, we're even better. Yeah, she doesn't hire creepy guys, but we don't hire rapey people. So we're better. Come, come, come do our plumbing. We don't rape. And this is, yeah, about why Bauer never made it as a writer and advertising right there.

17:47 I don't it's on my business. What do you guys think? Hey, we don't rape. What do you think was a tagline? What do they? Never because like it? Yeah, let's go. And that's how to put a track down. Never worked on my business card either. There's Mike Bauer. He doesn't rape. Well, shit. I don't know why he hasn't gotten hired. That makes no sense. But joking around about this makes the point, right? Her no creepy guys. We don't disrupt your house becomes this like, like negative mantra. You lose the point of the message she's trying to give you because it's just so blatant with creepy sounding guys that just comes out of the middle of nowhere. And that's the thing. I think you can write an ad that's better that gets the same point across that lets everybody know how safe your company is and what you care about without going the here's six different ways we can tell you we're not creepy guys because that sounds like the defense of somebody who's in court going, look, I'm not a creepy guy, judge. Well, you had 16 girls trapped in a bitch, but I'm not a creepy guy.

18:45 I'm just not a creepy guy. So I like that point. If you do any kind of a search on her ad, you get things like Mrs. Michaels commercial, no creepy guys. We swear me listening. I'm definitely in danger. I mean, that's right. That sums it up. That does the work for us there in the 140 characters or less. Right. Absolutely. Or in this particular case, as a parent, when you look at the picture here, we had here earlier, right? The pictures of the vans here and again, the one where a miss Michael says no creepy guys down here at the bottom. This comes in as a parent, this somehow makes the van more suspicious.

19:28 Don't worry, kids. Look, my van says I'm not creepy. Your ad says you're not creepy. So why should we worry about that? Like, I feel like it does the takeaway. It does the failure. Exactly. Of what you're looking to do, the goal that you've achieved for yourself, the goal you're trying to achieve for yourself, so let everybody know we're a safe company that's going to take care of you. You can just say that and it's fine. But if you keep bringing the creepy guys back, you are going to be looked at over and over and over again in a whole different creepy prism that you now have to try to defend from. Yes. So again. Well, this is Michael. I think we've officially destroyed your ad.

20:09 And again, go ahead, fight us. Could be the greatest and nots. I don't know the first thing about the company, but the ad? Miss Michael. Look, right here, between you and I and Mr. Chad. Fucking fix it. Stop with this. Yes. Commercial. Get a professional read for starters. Get somebody who knows how to read a spot for starters. Secondly, have somebody who can sit down with you and if it has to be over a month, write out a script that gets your message across while sounding like I'm not defending against creepy guys that's going to make me go, hold on, I now need to check with a better business bureau to see that there's been no charges brought against anybody that works for you because I'm automatically thinking at least when I'm looking at this group of people that there's possibly four, three in there that could have an arrest record on some level.

21:06 So don't make me look at that, please. Please, Mrs. Michael, give me the opportunity to just feel like I'm going to feel comfort because as a girl, dad, I want to know my 17 year old daughter who's going away to college. If there's a plumbing or HVAC issue, I want to know no creepy guys are coming, but I don't want you to bring that to my attention like that. I don't want to know arrest record.com. Come check out the guys. zero felons.com. Come on down. Higher us. Somebody's going to go buy these URLs like right after this episode. Your tire goes out while you're on the highway and you need somebody to come change your flat.

21:47 We don't rape.com. Come on down in the middle of the night, two o'clock in the morning after you're leaving that frat party. We won't rape you.com. That's a bunch of insane. You'll look, there's just a different way to go about it. And I think you can do it creatively. I think you can be more fun. I think funny commercials are way more interesting than some of those. So while I agree with her testimony and I think that the message is fantastic, come up with a better way to say it. That's all I'm trying to say here. Amen, brother. All right, we'll think a quick break. We come back. We will have one spot that you can't miss. You don't want to miss this spot. It's that good. It just caught my attention and it's not. I leave it. Slaps.

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25:11 So far, at least if Yaw said it, I've done a pretty good job destroying one commercial. The ad, not not the company itself just the ad. I don't know anything about the opening, but this is Michael ads. So this is awful. I think it does be opposite of what she tried. And I think some people may say that she was the only one who had a bad luck. And then, Jack, that brings us to where I am. He's just trapped in some of the old fairy tales. And he's not a good guy. I just thought about it. Order now at KaclesForCryce. And he's not like that.

25:58 I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is.

26:38 I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is.

27:18 I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. The product is until the end of this, but that's not what drew you in. It certainly wasn't repeating over and over again. No creepy guys. So that said, let's get into this, the spot we love this week, here, on Breaking Brands. Pat, how are we feeling about the pancakes? Pretty mid. You know what's mid-bre? You're aura. You've got to get off the internet, dad. Okay, boomer.

27:58 You're the boomer. That's a flex. And that's a flex. And I don't like it. Can you make him stop? I'm going to keep it 100 with you. That's sauce. Stop saying sauce. Bussing. In a time it takes you to master the slang. You could have bought a Hyundai on Amazon. Oh my god. And it doesn't matter how many, I've seen that spot before we air that now. I've seen that spot six times today and I laugh harder at each time that I see that spot. But look on his face. Oh my god. He looks familiar. So I'm sure I've seen him in other roles. Some place he's been on something else and he may have been funny in that.

28:39 This, he's crushing. And the wife at the end of that when she covers her mouth as she's buying the car on Amazon, she doesn't say a word. And she got paid a ton for that commercial, I'm sure. The kids, the girls, rolling their eyes. Oh my god. That was beautiful. Every part of this spot. What it is is it's real life, right? It's real. That's why it would draw you in as you sit there and you're like, oh shit, I've been here. Especially as a parent, right? Like us. And it's clearly geared towards us because who's looking to buy a Hyundai? The kids aren't looking at the bus. They don't care. No, they don't even know. So it draws us in as parents because we've been there.

29:19 Right. And just the human of all of that is just flipping. Amazing. And the dad, he looks like a Christopher guest. He does. He looks like a young Christopher guest. I couldn't watch this guy do anything. Right at the weight. Seriously. He delivers the lines. But he has to do it in a bathroom. Oh my god. Yes. The bathrooms only have to get bigger and better. And I could see him with next door. Neighbors keep this guy and talking. He's got legs. He's got a cell here over and over and over again. And again, I don't know who this guy is but I love it.

29:59 And you're caught. The instant this thing starts off. The instant you don't even have to see it. The instant you hear what's going on. You catch into the relatability factor is there. I mean pancakes. Pretty mad. You know what's mid-bre? You're aura. And then my favorite line. First of all, did you notice this too? As you're watching this, you're off with happy faces. Yes. By the time you get halfway through this and her aura is mid, the happy faces have turned to sad faces. You see that? He does funny. I didn't notice that the first time through.

30:39 But that makes it even better. Oh my god. That attention to detail on that too. Oh my god. And that's where he right in there is where he delivers like the greatest line in his whole life. That's a flex. And that's a flex. That's you. That's us. That's us. Stop saying "sus". Busson. In the time it takes you to master the slang, you could about a Hyundai on Amazon. Let me cook. I'll just get up and walks away from the table. I mean, it's all I'm saying to Mrs. Michael is look at that. Just look at that.

31:20 You can create a spot that gets your message across without having to go no creepy guys 15 times into it, making us all think, "She's probably got creepy guys!" As opposed to that where we're just like, "Oh my god, I'm so entertained. I couldn't even tell you what was Hyundai." I knew it was a car commercial. I didn't know who it was for but I knew that the woman, the wife bought the car in that four seconds tops of knowing that it was a car commercial else kept you entertained, kept you driven, and I think you can make a commercial that works that way. Yeah, it wasn't a commercial till it was. It was just the content, you were watching content, right?

32:00 We all do. We're doing scrolling, watch a video, it's funny, you're interesting, you're compelling, or mesmerizing, and you know, where was I going with this car? You just want to say, if I may, the thing you said earlier about, if Mrs. Michael is doing like a Google, you know, search to find what words people are concerned about when talking about HVAC or repair for plumbing, and then she's trying to create a message based upon that. Similarly, we all know there's a big trend on social media, be it through your Instagram feed or your TikTok before that got taken away, of dads talking Gen Z language and really making fun of their kids that way and the kids get so frustrated with it.

32:42 But if you're doing that kind of a search, find the content that makes it interesting. At one point in time, we had to create content like Clydesdale's playing football for a Super Bowl beer commercial. But now you've got these kinds of things that will attract attention. You will lock us in, and you can make your point without having to slap us over the head without not creepy you are, which just makes you seem creepy. Yeah. So... Maybe she didn't get that guy in the bathroom to do the... I'm not creepy commercial. 'Cause you know he's concerned about his daughters and getting creeps coming over to fix their em'racing age back. I'm sure you can figure something else in there that's gonna work. 'Cause the other part is I still love those commercials, some of my favorite ones, are the ones where the guy, and if I could tell you exactly which insurance company is, I would tell you right now, but it's the guy who coaches the parents how to not be like their parents.

33:36 Oh yeah. Those commercials are fucking amazing. They all make you laugh. The most recent one where they're trying to build the fire, how to build a campfire on them. All of those always make me laugh. And again, the point is being made. I get it, and I understand what their main gist of this all is. You know you don't have to be like your parents and yet hear people dressing and acting like the parents and they do a great job. So you can get your insurance and not have to be your parent doing it. Be creative in this process. Don't just slap your dick out there and whip somebody across the face with your not creepy, six or seven times, including a website, because we've all seen to catch a predator, we think you're creepy when you bring that to the attention of everybody.

34:19 Oh. So, lesson learned. Not a good look for a brand. No, no, no, no, but a really good look for what they're doing there at Hyundai and Amazon, at least that group. Amen. All right, that's it for us. I hope everybody's learned a little something here. Everybody has gained a little information, a little knowledge, and also I'd like for everybody who's got a great information that we're going to send our direction for us to break down and talk about reach out to us in realguyredial.mail.com. Read the guy radio at gmail.com. Send us links to the questions there. We'll tell us what you don't like about it. You'll know what you'll tell me. We'll take a look at it and see if it's something we can talk about here. I'm great.

34:59 But until next time, for Chad, myself, see ya. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] (upbeat music) [MUSIC]