Aug. 28, 2025

EP 6: Jealous Friends? Here’s How to Handle It!

Friendship in adulthood isn’t always what it seems. When does a friend turn into a frenemy?

Jasmine and Ernesto get real about jealousy, fake support, and friends who only show up when they need something. From viral birthday snubs to childhood best friends who disappear after success, they share stories that hit close to home.

They break down what real friendship looks like: people who celebrate your wins, invest in the relationship, and respect boundaries.

🎧 Listen in and learn how to spot who’s really in your corner and who’s just along for the ride.

00:00 - Catching Up on Busy Lives

02:06 - Friends or Frenemies?

04:24 - The Best Friend Betrayal

08:57 - Spotting Fake Support

14:32 - The Birthday Party Incident

25:23 - Finding Genuine Friends

31:44 - Mixed-Gender Friendships in Relationships

37:11 - Closing Thoughts on Friendship

WEBVTT

00:00:17.172 --> 00:00:21.236
Hi guys, welcome back to real love, real life podcast.

00:00:21.236 --> 00:00:22.378
I'm your host, jasmine.

00:00:22.538 --> 00:00:23.338
And I'm Ernesto.

00:00:23.638 --> 00:00:24.239
How was your week?

00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:26.722
It's been pretty long Tired.

00:00:27.783 --> 00:00:28.504
Me too.

00:00:28.504 --> 00:00:30.408
I'm on the struggle bus right now.

00:00:30.408 --> 00:00:33.673
It's back to school.

00:00:34.454 --> 00:00:34.994
It's hectic.

00:00:35.560 --> 00:00:36.621
It's hectic.

00:00:36.621 --> 00:00:39.704
You have just been at work.

00:00:39.704 --> 00:01:00.183
Yeah, it's been crazy I work 10 hour days almost every day I'm not gonna lie, I was, like yesterday and today, feeling a little burnt out, and I think you felt it because when I got in the car right now, you were like, um, how was your day?

00:01:00.183 --> 00:01:01.085
Like, are you okay?

00:01:01.145 --> 00:01:04.331
and I'm just like, yeah, and you're like what's what's wrong?

00:01:05.191 --> 00:01:08.405
um, it's a lot, I feel like, and I don't.

00:01:08.405 --> 00:01:25.612
I don't like to just like bust out and be like I'm exhausted, I'm burnt out, because I don't want to seem ungrateful yeah but I think, I think we can still be grateful and still still feel blessed with, and also be tired or burnt out.

00:01:25.612 --> 00:01:31.492
Yeah, like I've been doing a whole lot without you, now that you're back to work.

00:01:31.591 --> 00:01:32.313
I know it's tough.

00:01:32.581 --> 00:01:40.572
Cause you have to like physically be at work and obviously I'm the only one that can take the kids to the doctor's appointments.

00:01:40.591 --> 00:01:42.543
Two dogs, that's a full house.

00:01:42.805 --> 00:01:56.043
And with the back to school it's been like doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, meet the teacher, school shopping like so much, and we're going to have a high schooler on Monday, I know, and cashing out.

00:01:57.245 --> 00:01:58.108
Yeah, it's been crazy.

00:01:58.430 --> 00:01:59.152
Tell me about it.

00:01:59.152 --> 00:02:00.566
It's been so crazy.

00:02:00.566 --> 00:02:06.427
But today's episode is friends or frenemies?

00:02:06.427 --> 00:02:14.125
Dang I feel like you can relate because you you've been through through this.

00:02:14.125 --> 00:02:29.445
I feel like a lot backstabbing, after backstabbing and I feel like, thanks to my little third eye that I have, I've been able to detect all of your fake little friends and I'm sure eventually they'll watch this.

00:02:29.939 --> 00:02:31.885
I could say the same about yours too.

00:02:32.669 --> 00:02:33.150
I know.

00:02:34.342 --> 00:02:35.026
And your family.

00:02:36.662 --> 00:02:57.723
While we're here, I feel like once you get older not calling us old you are turning 30 next month, I know, but I feel like it gets really hard to make friends or keep the friends that you already have yeah I've even thought sometimes like are we the problem?

00:02:58.466 --> 00:03:21.591
maybe partially we don't have friends and you know, I'm fine, I'm fine with just the two of us, like I have a lot of fun with you, but sometimes, like you know, we talk about it and we're like, oh, like it'd be nice to go on a double date or things like that, but I just feel like we can't seem to like, we don't seem to click with no, the majority of the people that, like, we hang out with, or the ones that we have.

00:03:22.032 --> 00:03:23.985
It's been like out of state, like we've made.

00:03:23.985 --> 00:03:44.731
We made friends when we went to miami yeah huh like we're strangers yeah, so like, but that's what I'm saying like we we've, we get along good, but then it's with people that are like oh, we're probably gonna see them like never again yeah, never again, or in a year or when, whenever we come back to another event or yeah whatever.

00:03:44.812 --> 00:04:02.169
But I feel like since we, I'll say, matured, like you know, once, once, kind of like we got a house and we kind of got our stuff together, just friends kind of started separating yeah, they started weeding themselves out.

00:04:02.169 --> 00:04:05.235
Yeah, everybody started like getting out of the picture.

00:04:05.235 --> 00:04:13.733
I feel like this takes us back to like apartment days.

00:04:13.733 --> 00:04:16.139
That's kind of like when we lived in the apartment.

00:04:16.139 --> 00:04:24.449
That's kind of like where we started noticing like who was who, and I think you know where I'm going with this.

00:04:24.709 --> 00:04:24.990
Yeah.

00:04:26.440 --> 00:04:29.651
So I'm going to be the one to story tell.

00:04:29.651 --> 00:04:34.531
Ernesto had a friend, and let me tell the story.

00:04:34.531 --> 00:04:35.545
Don't look at me like that.

00:04:35.545 --> 00:04:43.112
Ernesto had a friend that was his best friend since elementary or middle school.

00:04:43.839 --> 00:04:45.427
I would say like my second best friend.

00:04:46.841 --> 00:04:57.976
Don't cut me off like that, just your best friend, um, since, like childhood whatever, I feel like we slowly started discovering that he was a frenemy.

00:04:57.976 --> 00:05:03.134
Yeah, he was low key sneak dissonance for no reason.

00:05:03.154 --> 00:05:03.375
Yeah.

00:05:04.559 --> 00:05:11.324
And and I feel like you're so, so nice, like too nice, all the time that you don't.

00:05:11.324 --> 00:05:16.564
You don't look at it that way, you're just like oh, that's his personality or that's how he is, or whatever.

00:05:16.564 --> 00:05:29.432
But when I started like kind of like eavesdropping on phone calls and stuff like that, you know like kind of like overhearing you and I'm like he's dropping on phone calls this guy doesn't seem like um.

00:05:29.432 --> 00:05:30.014
How do I say?

00:05:30.053 --> 00:05:59.269
it like, genuine like genuine, um, I feel like he was your friend up until he saw your glow up and then he was like I'm not your friend anymore yeah, that's how I saw it because it almost seemed like he wasn't happy when you had your first son and I feel like for guys that's kind of a big deal yeah like guys that have known each other since elementary, middle school, and then he has his first son.

00:05:59.329 --> 00:06:11.004
Like you'd think, you'd be like on top of the moon for your boy or whatever he didn't, he never came to see him, like, never stopped by, like none of that.

00:06:11.004 --> 00:06:14.309
Um what else?

00:06:14.430 --> 00:06:28.966
I feel like when you got your dream car, it was like he seemed like he just wasn't interested yeah you had to come to him so he could take a look at your car when he was building his house.

00:06:28.966 --> 00:06:41.004
You, I remember you were so excited for him that, like you came home to tell me you had pictures on your phone of his house and you're like, look it, they're building their house.

00:06:41.004 --> 00:06:44.360
You were showing me dirt and I was like, what is that like?

00:06:44.420 --> 00:06:47.449
and you're like this is where they're gonna build their house and it's gonna look like this and like that.

00:06:47.449 --> 00:07:00.968
You would go every time there was an update and you were so excited for him and you were cheering him on the entire time and when it was our turn, when we started building our house, he never came by.

00:07:00.968 --> 00:07:03.651
He never came like to see the house.

00:07:03.651 --> 00:07:07.156
Our son is four and he's never met him.

00:07:08.882 --> 00:07:20.309
He showed his true colors the moment you had your glow up yeah and I was like yeah, this dude is like he's not a genuine guy story in my life literally.

00:07:20.309 --> 00:07:35.644
Well, I mean, I feel like I feel like there's other friends that don't feel like that, maybe like they don't put the time and effort, but you don't feel like the jealousy I feel like with this person, like it was almost like you could.

00:07:35.644 --> 00:07:39.221
You could literally see the jealousy from like miles away.

00:07:39.221 --> 00:07:43.380
It's almost like how they say people want you to do good, but not better than them.

00:07:43.822 --> 00:07:49.470
And I feel like the moment he saw, like oh he's, he's having a son and I haven't had my first son.

00:07:49.470 --> 00:08:01.961
Like, not not yeah, always comparing and stuff yeah or when he had his fast car, it was like look at my fast car, let's go on a drive in my fast car.

00:08:01.961 --> 00:08:05.130
And then, when you had your fast car, it was like I don't care anymore.

00:08:07.040 --> 00:08:08.970
Now it's not a competition because your car is better.

00:08:09.129 --> 00:08:10.625
Yeah, now, it's not a competition.

00:08:10.625 --> 00:08:17.093
I'm just not interested, and I feel like a lot of people can relate to that.

00:08:17.093 --> 00:08:20.668
I also feel like Especially like long-term friends.

00:08:21.254 --> 00:08:24.603
Oh yeah, and then all of a sudden, once you're doing good, it's like all right.

00:08:24.603 --> 00:08:25.726
Now I don't want to kick it with you.

00:08:26.255 --> 00:08:32.841
And I feel like so many people are like that's my long-term friend, or that's been my friend since kindergarten.

00:08:32.841 --> 00:08:46.442
I hear that a lot, and I used to hear that from you too, because when I used to like call out his BS, you'd be like I've known him for 15 years.

00:08:46.442 --> 00:08:48.528
That would be your answer, or you'd be like I've known him my entire childhood, or whatever people.

00:08:48.528 --> 00:08:56.065
People don't like deserve to be in your circle because they've known you for x amount of time yeah that's what I think.

00:08:56.206 --> 00:09:02.203
I think immediately, like, if I call bs, I don't care if I've known you since birth.

00:09:02.203 --> 00:09:03.986
Yeah, I'm going to cut it off.

00:09:04.207 --> 00:09:04.508
Yeah.

00:09:06.048 --> 00:09:14.192
And I think that's what a lot of people need to do because it's so common now, especially like with social media.

00:09:14.192 --> 00:09:22.945
I feel like now I can call people's BS so quick now with social media, like you're looking at all of my stories and you never like a single post.

00:09:30.735 --> 00:09:31.517
Yeah, You're not supporting me.

00:09:31.517 --> 00:09:33.140
I ain't never seen you like yeah, like you will it's.

00:09:33.140 --> 00:09:37.251
It's so crazy how you see them on a like like happy birthday, devin booker.

00:09:37.251 --> 00:09:37.953
Happy birthday, devin booker.

00:09:37.953 --> 00:09:43.427
On reposting it on their story and like you just see them view your story Like what?

00:09:43.447 --> 00:09:57.554
Literally Like seeing people shop like I don't know from billionaire Kim Kardashian and you're over here like selling cookies and they will not buy one from you?

00:09:57.554 --> 00:10:03.239
Yeah, they're just like nope, or sometimes it doesn't even have to be buy Like, like my stuff.

00:10:03.259 --> 00:10:04.341
I mean liking is free.

00:10:04.903 --> 00:10:05.806
Reposting everything.

00:10:05.806 --> 00:10:20.264
Yeah, liking is free All of that on the internet is completely free and I feel like people just like show their true colors, like, if you're in my story, most likely you saw my post, or you can take five seconds and go to the post.

00:10:20.495 --> 00:10:27.500
Or like especially if it's like somebody close Like how are you not commenting, because you know if it's the other way around we're going to comment like share.

00:10:27.500 --> 00:10:30.063
Yeah, you know what I mean, no hesitation.

00:10:30.464 --> 00:10:50.004
And honestly, I used to be like that, and once I started growing on social media and I saw how people weren't supportive of me, I have stopped being like supportive towards other people too, like I'm not gonna unfollow you but I'm not gonna engage, I'm not gonna engage with you either.

00:10:50.004 --> 00:10:52.797
So like how are you, how are you?

00:10:52.797 --> 00:10:54.721
Like asking for my resources?

00:10:54.721 --> 00:10:59.437
Or like, hey, can you repost this, or hey, can you help me like promote.

00:10:59.437 --> 00:11:04.187
You know my business, but you have never been in my likes yo.

00:11:04.807 --> 00:11:06.395
So how do you spot a frenemy?

00:11:10.100 --> 00:11:13.206
like that, I feel like yeah, exactly.

00:11:14.147 --> 00:11:15.067
So like three points.

00:11:15.107 --> 00:11:32.754
How do you spot them out first, like see, see their actions versus their what they'd be talking yeah, so I've seen this post that says people can't support you public publicly because of the things they said about you privately.

00:11:32.793 --> 00:12:03.086
Yeah, dang so are you worried about like oh, I saw so and so in in Jasmine's likes when she said like this about her or things like that, and not to be messed up, but I mean, like I've showed you messages of like people that literally I've never like, I was never even like friends with them, like that, like that, and they just automatically see like oh, she has a bigger following.

00:12:03.086 --> 00:12:12.801
Let me go in here and like my shot, you know, with like my business, things like that, but again, like, where were you when I was like in my cringy stage?

00:12:13.001 --> 00:12:16.509
yeah, when I didn't have no following, where were you?

00:12:16.735 --> 00:12:21.364
when I was posting three times a day, but I only had 300 followers.

00:12:22.044 --> 00:12:23.628
You weren't messaging right there.

00:12:24.288 --> 00:12:27.043
Yeah, or like you didn't even like engage with me.

00:12:27.043 --> 00:12:29.062
A lot of these people didn't even follow me.

00:12:29.062 --> 00:12:37.200
Like people that we went to school with didn't even follow me until, like they see a large group of people like follow you.

00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:38.881
They're like, oh okay, now it's my turn.

00:12:38.881 --> 00:12:54.018
Or like trying to use like me for your business yeah when you don't even like me yeah like let's be honest, you don't like, you just want some clout, you just wanna or like an easy you want me to promote your product.

00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:57.995
You know I can make sales, so it's like you're trying to make money off me.

00:12:57.995 --> 00:12:59.097
But that's.

00:12:59.317 --> 00:13:08.378
That's the thing that I feel like I'm really good, I'm I'm very salesy online I hate that word because I feel like.

00:13:08.378 --> 00:13:16.716
I feel like I can be myself yeah and attract, you know, like shoppers and things like that.

00:13:16.716 --> 00:13:28.407
Anything that I'm using, I could be like this is the underwear for the day and people are like, oh, I want it like you know it's, it's, it's from walmart or whatever, and people, people will want it.

00:13:28.606 --> 00:13:42.996
Maybe because of that, because I'm being myself, all of that, so people see that and they're like this is a good opportunity for my business yeah, they can get it out there, people actually buy but then again, like you've never.

00:13:42.996 --> 00:13:44.142
You've never supported me.

00:13:44.201 --> 00:13:49.625
You probably don't even like me you used to probably talk smack about me in school in high school.

00:13:49.625 --> 00:13:54.458
Now you're my dms yeah crazy crazy work.

00:13:54.960 --> 00:14:10.514
um, back to like the fact that people don't like deserve your time and energy, even though they've known you since way back when I had a situation back in like February.

00:14:10.514 --> 00:14:16.875
It was like my ex friend's birthday and best friend ex best friend.

00:14:16.875 --> 00:14:25.750
Ok so, and this is the thing like don't, don't mess with me, because I post everything on social media.

00:14:25.750 --> 00:14:28.423
I post everything on social media.

00:14:28.423 --> 00:14:33.147
And if that upset like if that, if you don't want the smoke.

00:14:33.475 --> 00:14:37.259
It's like trying to like, trying to talk smack to a comedian they're going to roast you.

00:14:37.298 --> 00:14:45.090
That's a bad idea and that's my thing, Like I, even even when I had my two, three hundred followers, I ran to my social media.

00:14:45.289 --> 00:14:46.231
That's where I Call me reply.

00:14:46.231 --> 00:14:47.215
Call in your ass Out.

00:14:47.414 --> 00:14:56.187
Yeah, that's where I like vent, that's my little diary, so like, if you, if you don't want it, don't come for me because I'm going to post you.

00:14:56.187 --> 00:14:58.879
Like not post you, but I'm going to talk about the situation on social media.

00:14:58.899 --> 00:14:59.561
So the situation on social media?

00:14:59.561 --> 00:15:12.621
So, anyways, it was her friends, um, her friends, it was my friend's birthday, it was birthday party, it was her birthday party, or like a little gathering, just all girls.

00:15:12.621 --> 00:15:14.828
So, um, she says everybody's gonna bring a plate of something.

00:15:14.828 --> 00:15:18.976
I say, oh, perfect, like you know me, I have to have my little sushi, like once a week.

00:15:18.976 --> 00:15:20.938
So I was like, oh, you know, I'm gonna take something.

00:15:20.938 --> 00:15:21.659
That's like me.

00:15:21.659 --> 00:15:23.883
Whatever, I'm gonna take sushi.

00:15:23.883 --> 00:15:27.647
Okay, she gives me the date, time, address.

00:15:27.647 --> 00:15:33.359
I get there right on time, maybe like a couple minutes after the time.

00:15:33.359 --> 00:15:34.903
I don't see cars, I don't see anything.

00:15:34.903 --> 00:15:35.885
But I'm like you know what?

00:15:36.176 --> 00:15:38.565
I'm just early but you felt like something was wrong.

00:15:39.167 --> 00:15:40.873
I, I felt it when I got there.

00:15:40.873 --> 00:15:46.280
Everything looked like there was like no, like there was no decorations there was nothing.

00:15:46.341 --> 00:15:52.802
So I was like okay, so I sit in my car good thing I didn't like get off, because I would have looked so goofy in that camera.

00:15:52.802 --> 00:15:57.297
Um, so I text her, I call her, she doesn't answer.

00:15:57.297 --> 00:16:01.784
And then I text her and I was like, hey, like is this still going on?

00:16:01.784 --> 00:16:04.909
And she's like, oh, like you didn't get my message.

00:16:04.909 --> 00:16:10.802
I told everybody it was I don't I can't remember if it was one, or she had pushed it back one or two hours.

00:16:10.802 --> 00:16:14.804
And I was like, no, like I didn't get your message.

00:16:14.804 --> 00:16:21.284
And she says I sent it in, I sent it in the group chat, and I think that's where she knew she had messed up.

00:16:21.284 --> 00:16:24.860
She was, and I think that's where she knew she had messed up.

00:16:24.879 --> 00:16:26.225
She was like I started a group chat and I didn't add Jasmine.

00:16:26.225 --> 00:16:27.711
So I was like, okay, that was like another, like red flag.

00:16:27.711 --> 00:16:29.235
There's a group chat and I'm not in it.

00:16:29.235 --> 00:16:35.126
And then, um, she's like come to my mom's house.

00:16:35.126 --> 00:16:48.082
She sends me the address and at this point I was like really annoyed and I'm like girl, you're like we're almost in our 30s, why do you have me driving around like I don't want to go to your mom's house?

00:16:48.082 --> 00:17:13.067
Like, yes, I know your mom love your mom, nice lady, but like I don't I this wasn't the plan, so at this point I feel like I'm not wanted there yeah so I drive back home, I drive back home and I set my tripod up, I unbox the sushi and I start talking about it and I start eating it.

00:17:13.690 --> 00:17:27.851
The video blows up literally million views, like overnight, and she didn't bother to message me, text me again, like throughout the day.

00:17:27.851 --> 00:17:31.806
You know she had a blast at her little gathering, at her get together.

00:17:31.806 --> 00:17:34.000
Whatever, she made me feel like crap.

00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:38.826
She made me feel excluded from her little group chat.

00:17:40.896 --> 00:17:58.974
It really gave me mean girl vibes and, I'm not gonna lie, I cried because it took me back to like middle school, high school, where, like girls are just like mean for no reason or they just want to make you feel like crap for no reason dang so, um, I mean, we all ate the sushi.

00:17:58.974 --> 00:18:02.000
Whatever I was in my feels, I I uploaded the video.

00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:08.450
Well, I think the next morning she saw the video or somebody showed her the video For real.

00:18:08.450 --> 00:18:10.843
And I mean it had a million views.

00:18:11.537 --> 00:18:12.441
We live in Phoenix.

00:18:12.441 --> 00:18:14.201
That got around quick.

00:18:14.201 --> 00:18:34.759
So she immediately messages me and calls me a B for posting that and says that, like she sent the message out, this, this and that, that you know she was sorry that it didn't get to me, that she didn't know I was all of a sudden this sensitive, blah, blah, blah.

00:18:34.759 --> 00:18:35.740
She goes on a rant.

00:18:35.740 --> 00:18:50.673
But the fact that it didn't get to her the entire time, like the fact that she knew, hey, jasmine was gonna bring the sushi, she went back home, she didn't know, like, like she didn't know what I was going through.

00:18:50.713 --> 00:19:01.044
She didn't know what I was going through, she didn't care, but the moment she saw that I had made a video about it, that's the moment it got to her and that's the moment that it bothered her.

00:19:01.964 --> 00:19:11.109
So she, she was pissed and she was talking about, like you know, you made the video and this, this and that, like, I hope you can get some of your little coins back that you spent, like, on the sushi.

00:19:11.109 --> 00:19:13.057
Like, yes, I spent a hundred bucks on the sushi.

00:19:13.057 --> 00:19:16.544
So, yeah, and yes, that video paid me back for the sushi.

00:19:16.544 --> 00:19:25.068
Thank you very much, um, but anyways, 80 of the audience, like 80 of the no girl, she doesn't like you.

00:19:25.068 --> 00:19:27.401
She doesn't like you.

00:19:27.401 --> 00:19:30.424
She was trying to make you look like a fool the entire time.

00:19:30.979 --> 00:19:32.095
Like that's not a friend.

00:19:32.095 --> 00:19:35.184
And the other 20% was like she could have been stressed.

00:19:35.184 --> 00:19:39.762
She could have been like running around all over the place and she didn't have time to text you.

00:19:39.762 --> 00:19:43.705
But I think bottom line is there was a group chat and I wasn't in it.

00:19:43.914 --> 00:19:58.269
Yeah, that's what makes you think, like what's being said in there that you guys don't want to make me a part of, and then another message that she sent was like oh, you got a little bit of followers and now you think like you're all that.

00:19:58.694 --> 00:20:02.704
Immediately when she said that, I was like you're done, you're done.

00:20:02.704 --> 00:20:04.316
You hate that I'm on the internet.

00:20:04.316 --> 00:20:26.494
You hate that I'm like successful with my little bit of followers yeah, the fact that she couldn't leave that out, that she had to throw that in there I was like she's a friend of me she's very much jealous of my following um of what I, and that's probably why she was like I'm going to make her look stupid for a little bit.

00:20:26.515 --> 00:20:27.881
She probably feels left out.

00:20:29.355 --> 00:20:46.630
So she tried to do it to me and Her sister like messaged me, you know, trying to like come to the rescue, and like she kept throwing in, like the fact that like we've been friends since middle school and I'm like I don't care.

00:20:46.630 --> 00:20:51.291
And again, that's what people need to understand that it doesn't matter how long you've known someone.

00:20:51.291 --> 00:20:54.319
It doesn't matter that you've been best friends since kindergarten.

00:20:54.319 --> 00:20:59.491
If you're treating me like crap and you're making me feel less, I don't want to be a part of it.

00:20:59.531 --> 00:20:59.772
Yeah.

00:21:01.281 --> 00:21:04.832
And people need to understand that that it doesn't matter.

00:21:04.832 --> 00:21:08.611
It doesn't matter if you're family or how long you've known this person.

00:21:08.611 --> 00:21:12.390
People need to learn when to cut people off.

00:21:12.660 --> 00:21:15.828
Yeah, you just got to do what's necessary.

00:21:16.210 --> 00:21:17.092
The sushi was great.

00:21:17.092 --> 00:21:18.905
I love that sushi.

00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:20.945
I think that's what helps it go viral.

00:21:20.945 --> 00:21:21.708
You're just like.

00:21:22.481 --> 00:21:28.868
I was just like stuffing the rolls in my mouth, like talking about it, and people were just like girl, what the heck?

00:21:30.300 --> 00:21:39.559
Because a lot of people can relate, Because a lot of people let that slide for a lot multiple times and then I do think about it.

00:21:39.559 --> 00:21:43.568
People are just lonely and don't have friends, so they're willing to put up with people's shit.

00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:56.911
Even if I would have stayed even if I would have stayed, I think to myself I would have went home not knowing that there was a group chat that I was not included in.

00:21:56.911 --> 00:22:06.670
You guys are obviously texting each other, pushing back the time, doing all these things, and I have no clue about it.

00:22:06.670 --> 00:22:11.612
You always say it like what's the saying God?

00:22:11.612 --> 00:22:15.107
God heard conversations that you didn't.

00:22:15.449 --> 00:22:15.790
Yeah.

00:22:16.640 --> 00:22:18.428
So he's probably like girl no.

00:22:18.428 --> 00:22:21.580
These ain't your friends, friends this circle is not for you.

00:22:21.580 --> 00:22:47.153
So immediately I removed myself and it bothered her it it didn't bother her until I post it online, which I didn't even say her name or anything, so nobody would have even known that it was her, but that but once you start comment commenting like trying to fight back, people are like all right, we know who it is now yeah, so, and and I feel like for a moment I felt bad.

00:22:47.212 --> 00:22:59.738
but when she threw that in there, that like oh, just because I had a little bit of followers and because I'm doing this now and like I have to bring everything online, I was like oh yeah, I was like, oh yeah, I was like so this is how you've been feeling about me.

00:22:59.758 --> 00:23:00.759
You truly feel some type of way.

00:23:00.839 --> 00:23:04.229
This is how you truly feel Okay, peace out.

00:23:04.430 --> 00:23:05.051
That's crazy.

00:23:05.559 --> 00:23:10.688
I feel like, how do we look for friends?

00:23:10.688 --> 00:23:15.035
Or like good relationships now that we are adults?

00:23:15.035 --> 00:23:21.644
Or like, what would you look for Like I know it's not's not like on your bucket list to go and find friends.

00:23:21.644 --> 00:23:25.077
You're a busy guy and I don't know I'm traumatized.

00:23:25.117 --> 00:23:25.539
No, I'm just kidding.

00:23:25.539 --> 00:23:46.346
I would just say people that like, I would like to be like you know, like people that you could kind of look up to as well, and people that you know they don't necessarily have to be doing better than you, but like maybe somebody who's just as competitive as you, somebody who's just as good as you at stuff, because iron sharpens iron.

00:23:46.346 --> 00:23:51.832
So if you don't have quality friends, I mean that's true and it's cool.

00:23:51.832 --> 00:23:55.650
I think we also need to separate acquaintances and friends.

00:23:55.650 --> 00:24:01.171
There's a lot of acquaintances oh yeah, we can chat it up about center fielder and all that.

00:24:01.171 --> 00:24:12.346
But you know, once you start talking about real-life problems, business stuff like that, 95% of those people are just gone real quick Like miss me with that.

00:24:12.626 --> 00:24:12.827
Yeah.

00:24:13.319 --> 00:24:24.683
So I would say people with like traits that you find rare, like competent people, genuine people that do stuff for people that doesn't benefit them.

00:24:24.683 --> 00:24:27.630
We all know people like that.

00:24:27.630 --> 00:24:38.010
It's like this guy at work, like he literally like is only motivated like if we leave early, like hey, hey, we're leaving.

00:24:38.010 --> 00:24:41.516
If, if, if you kick ass, we're leaving at one o'clock.

00:24:41.516 --> 00:24:43.126
Yeah, but we're getting paid for 10.

00:24:43.299 --> 00:24:44.526
If not, he's not moving.

00:24:44.940 --> 00:24:46.968
Like Saturday is like 30.

00:24:46.968 --> 00:24:49.509
Like we are walking into work it's five in the morning.

00:24:49.509 --> 00:24:50.885
They're like what time we getting out?

00:24:51.559 --> 00:24:53.500
10, 30, 10, 30.

00:24:53.642 --> 00:24:58.325
Come on bro, go, go, go work a little bit and then we'll see when we get out.

00:24:58.325 --> 00:25:09.972
And it's just like I don't know you got to stay away from people like that that are just, you know, like just pumping the brakes at work because you know he's not getting let out early.

00:25:09.972 --> 00:25:14.556
It's like, dude, you're obligated to work at least eight hours.

00:25:14.556 --> 00:25:16.876
You're be lucky, you're working 10.

00:25:17.198 --> 00:25:17.438
Yeah.

00:25:22.880 --> 00:25:23.000
Like.

00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:24.064
So, you know, avoid people like that.

00:25:24.064 --> 00:25:31.605
You know, try to connect with the people that are, you know, like-minded and you know are genuine yeah, because there's a scarcity of good friends out here.

00:25:31.605 --> 00:25:34.752
So if you see somebody cool, you got to hold on to them.

00:25:34.859 --> 00:25:44.335
You're like, hey man oh yeah, I know, but it's definitely hard or somebody that's gonna that'll buy you a beer first.

00:25:46.263 --> 00:25:50.593
You know what I mean yeah like if you walk in and they're like, hey, what you drinking, boom, boom.

00:25:50.593 --> 00:25:56.211
Like those are the good friendships, not the hey, uh, I don't got nothing.

00:25:56.211 --> 00:25:58.321
I don't like I don't, if I got it, we all got it.

00:25:58.321 --> 00:26:08.192
But you know, those friends, like you have to pay for them and all that, like those are the ones that, like they never work out because it's not even 50-50.

00:26:08.192 --> 00:26:09.946
It's 75-25, you know.

00:26:10.220 --> 00:26:15.086
I feel like that's like story of my life, like I don't think I've ever.

00:26:15.086 --> 00:26:26.788
I might be wrong, but like I, literally I cannot think of one time that somebody's like I got you, except the time we were in Miami with you know who.

00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:29.426
But again, that's not like our friend.

00:26:29.446 --> 00:26:31.625
friend, that's literally someone that we met that day.

00:26:31.625 --> 00:26:33.030
That was like I got it, I got it.

00:26:33.030 --> 00:26:38.903
But like I don't think I've had a friend that's like, let's go to lunch, like I got you.

00:26:38.903 --> 00:26:49.992
And it's not that I don't have 20 bucks for lunch or 40 for the both of us, whatever, but it's like, hey, sometimes like I want to feel liked enough that somebody wants to take me out to lunch.

00:26:50.432 --> 00:26:58.926
Like that was it the other night when my old buddies from the other company like hey, we're at the bar, come through and I was like I'm so, so exhausted.

00:26:58.926 --> 00:27:08.808
I knew I had to work saturday so I was like as much as I wanted to go because, like, I never get invited yeah and like they're the homies you know, like we're in the tray together.

00:27:08.828 --> 00:27:11.617
It's like they're actually reaching out to me.

00:27:11.617 --> 00:27:17.742
So I was like I felt like I let them down because I didn't pull through, but it's like if I go out, man, I'm probably gonna be out all night.

00:27:17.742 --> 00:27:18.608
Yeah, it's like a roller coaster go out, man.

00:27:18.630 --> 00:27:19.394
I'm probably going to be out all night.

00:27:19.414 --> 00:27:24.090
Yeah, it's like a roller coaster ride Once I get on that roller coaster, I ain't coming home until that thing's done.

00:27:24.721 --> 00:27:29.471
Once he gets a mojito in, there is no going back with this guy.

00:27:29.491 --> 00:27:30.272
I'm going all night.

00:27:31.201 --> 00:27:33.509
He needs at least like eight, ten of them.

00:27:34.579 --> 00:27:38.326
At the Topgolf company thing they had.

00:27:38.326 --> 00:27:41.653
Man, I was like seven deep before it ended.

00:27:41.653 --> 00:27:43.821
I was just like Were you even golfing.

00:27:43.821 --> 00:27:46.046
Yeah, at that point it was fun.

00:27:46.046 --> 00:27:49.530
It was like water, it was like Aquafina.

00:27:49.530 --> 00:27:51.674
No, it was like that's crazy.

00:27:51.859 --> 00:27:52.825
I can't believe you like that.

00:27:53.200 --> 00:28:01.698
It's because we were in Miami like a week or two earlier and that's when I was pounding the mojito, so I was like already, I was already a seasoned veteran.

00:28:01.698 --> 00:28:02.200
Yeah.

00:28:02.200 --> 00:28:05.946
I know People were like dang, because everybody's drinking beer and stuff.

00:28:06.140 --> 00:28:07.707
Those drinks in Miami were no joke.

00:28:07.707 --> 00:28:09.144
I needed how much?

00:28:09.144 --> 00:28:12.923
Did I have Like one or two drinks and I was like Some shots.

00:28:13.183 --> 00:28:13.663
Hey, you know.

00:28:15.185 --> 00:28:15.865
Did I have shots?

00:28:15.865 --> 00:28:22.854
Yeah, I had a shot or two, but yeah, definitely Like yeah, always look for friends that take initiative.

00:28:23.473 --> 00:28:44.818
I think the number one thing is initiative, because there's, there's, there's people out here in this life that will be an hour early for you, like you know they'll make it to like the most random event for you, and you got, like the friends that, hey, I moved it to seven o'clock, like, come on, man, we're, we're adults.

00:28:44.980 --> 00:28:48.148
Like I think you know you can't be late to everything.

00:28:48.470 --> 00:28:49.132
Come on now.

00:28:49.582 --> 00:28:56.231
I think initiative that was another thing with her, that she was late.

00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:59.710
You could be planning a breakfast at First Watch.

00:28:59.710 --> 00:29:01.887
Hey, we're going to go to First Watch at 10 o'clock.

00:29:01.887 --> 00:29:07.954
No matter how optimistic you can be, you know she's going to be there late.

00:29:07.954 --> 00:29:12.814
All the time Like you're just dreading the time, Like all right, it's 9.50.

00:29:12.814 --> 00:29:14.904
All the time I know she ain't getting here.

00:29:14.904 --> 00:29:17.704
10.30 rolls around, hey, 10.15,.

00:29:17.704 --> 00:29:18.346
I'm almost there.

00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:21.963
getting here 10, 30 rolls around a 10 15, I'm leaving.

00:29:21.963 --> 00:29:22.464
I'm almost there.

00:29:22.464 --> 00:29:23.467
She's barely leaving the house.

00:29:23.467 --> 00:29:23.948
Yeah, it's, it's so crazy.

00:29:23.948 --> 00:29:43.994
But I think, aside from like obviously like friends that take initiative, I think friends that celebrate, that celebrate your wins without jealousy, I feel like well, I mean, for example, that was one like not we weren't celebrating anything, but always throwing like a little bit of shade out there.

00:29:43.994 --> 00:29:45.346
I don't like that.

00:29:45.346 --> 00:29:53.773
Another ex friend that I had, the one that we lost for a couple hundred dollars.

00:29:54.820 --> 00:29:55.101
Oh.

00:29:55.442 --> 00:30:00.369
I feel like she was always throwing out like if I didn't answer the phone.

00:30:00.369 --> 00:30:02.031
She'd be like mm.

00:30:02.031 --> 00:30:02.633
Like.

00:30:02.854 --> 00:30:03.734
You're too busy for me.

00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:07.463
You're too busy for me, or she'd be like mm.

00:30:07.463 --> 00:30:16.869
It's because, like she was always like pointing out little things about, like my, like social media or like, oh, like you're too famous for me.

00:30:18.019 --> 00:30:19.151
Maybe if I had more followers you would answer better.

00:30:19.151 --> 00:30:19.881
Yeah, like, oh, like, you're too famous for me.

00:30:19.881 --> 00:30:20.145
Maybe if I had more followers you would answer better.

00:30:20.299 --> 00:30:25.704
Yeah, like, oh, because I'm not famous like you, Like she would say things like that.

00:30:25.704 --> 00:30:28.884
That would really like I was like, are you?

00:30:29.799 --> 00:30:30.442
Throwing jabs?

00:30:30.442 --> 00:30:31.247
Those are jabs.

00:30:31.247 --> 00:30:32.365
That's a friendly jab.

00:30:32.880 --> 00:30:34.105
Yeah, friend of me.

00:30:34.319 --> 00:30:37.325
A jab ain't like necessarily a power hit, it's just like a.

00:30:37.885 --> 00:30:41.090
Yeah, until eventually, like that's what it took.

00:30:41.151 --> 00:30:53.844
You know, let let somebody borrow a little bit of money, and that's the kind of friends like I seen you wishing so and so a happy birthday on Instagram, but when it was my birthday, you didn't even call me.

00:30:54.384 --> 00:30:59.405
Yeah, and I feel like she was never like in my likes either.

00:30:59.405 --> 00:31:00.686
It was crazy.

00:31:01.126 --> 00:31:06.788
Like dang, I seen you, you know, in Scottsdale with that sign happy birthday for so-and-so.

00:31:06.788 --> 00:31:12.051
But when it's my turn it's like where's that same energy?

00:31:12.051 --> 00:31:16.493
Yeah, I think I had already forgot about that person too.

00:31:16.493 --> 00:31:19.615
I'm just life work has been so busy.

00:31:19.615 --> 00:31:21.756
I just been zoned out.

00:31:21.935 --> 00:31:23.297
Life is hectic.

00:31:24.136 --> 00:31:35.388
In a way it's like you don't even have time for friends, like life can get so busy but you also have to prioritize people.

00:31:35.388 --> 00:31:37.819
But it's like I guess you'll meet the right people with time.

00:31:38.059 --> 00:31:39.779
Okay, wait, I have another question before I forget.

00:31:39.779 --> 00:31:46.493
Maybe I'm going on a different little path, but it has to do with friends.

00:31:46.493 --> 00:31:50.428
What do you think of friends, the opposite gender?

00:31:52.692 --> 00:31:53.253
That's tough.

00:31:53.559 --> 00:31:55.243
When you're in a relationship or you're married.

00:31:56.607 --> 00:31:57.348
That's tough.

00:31:57.951 --> 00:31:58.692
It's tough, huh.

00:31:59.160 --> 00:32:01.528
Yeah, I mean, we're all tempted, everybody's tempted.

00:32:01.528 --> 00:32:03.006
I don't give a damn what nobody says.

00:32:05.681 --> 00:32:25.194
So I know someone that recently this couple is going through a divorce because the guy made a friend on TikTok and they started going to the gym together.

00:32:25.634 --> 00:32:26.115
Dang.

00:32:27.260 --> 00:32:31.548
Two months later they're posting matching shoes.

00:32:31.548 --> 00:32:39.042
Yes, At like baseball games and they're like deeply mad in love, or so they think.

00:32:39.042 --> 00:32:47.064
So literally eight years of their marriage down the drain because he made a friend on TikTok.

00:32:47.064 --> 00:32:48.494
So that's what.

00:32:48.494 --> 00:32:49.898
That's what she says.

00:32:49.898 --> 00:32:55.323
The story is made a friend on TikTok and he kept like reassuring her.

00:32:55.323 --> 00:32:56.454
Hey, it's just a friend.

00:32:56.454 --> 00:32:57.791
It's just a friend.

00:32:57.791 --> 00:33:05.796
You don't come to the gym with me and you know she's going to the gym Like we're literally gym buddies, that's all it is yeah, that's crazy, that's all it is, she's okay.

00:33:05.938 --> 00:33:07.374
Okay, you know she was.

00:33:07.374 --> 00:33:12.674
She says that she never had any trust issues, so she was like you know, okay, whatever.

00:33:12.674 --> 00:33:15.401
But one day she said she just felt it in her gut.

00:33:15.721 --> 00:33:16.323
Dang.

00:33:20.637 --> 00:33:23.230
And he was sleeping and she went through his phone.

00:33:23.230 --> 00:33:27.650
She said she couldn't like match a lot of the conversation because it seemed like it was like a lot of it was deleted.

00:33:27.650 --> 00:33:32.501
But, excuse me, the phone lines were under her name.

00:33:32.501 --> 00:33:43.179
So, she went to the service provider and recovered over 600 text messages and they were like intimate.

00:33:43.490 --> 00:33:46.359
Yeah, they were very intimate already, things like that.

00:33:46.359 --> 00:33:53.175
After he literally like promised her, swore that you know, they were friends, they were gym buddies, things like that and she believed him.

00:33:53.175 --> 00:33:57.558
She believed him, and now they're divorced.

00:33:57.558 --> 00:34:02.672
They're divorcing.

00:34:02.672 --> 00:34:17.884
She moved out and, who knows, maybe, like the so-called friend, already lives in their house and I'm like, yeah see, I can't, I cannot with like the I, your cousin, was at her house for two days.

00:34:18.324 --> 00:34:19.266
She threw on some makeup.

00:34:19.266 --> 00:34:20.394
You're like you got to get out of here.

00:34:20.414 --> 00:34:22.896
Oh yeah, so she was when.

00:34:22.896 --> 00:34:42.570
When she was sick, I was like, you know, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, probably wouldn't do that to like my worst enemy you know everybody deserves no-transcript.

00:34:42.570 --> 00:34:52.978
And the moment she came up from her deathbed and threw on those lashes, I was like it's time to go home girl.

00:34:53.590 --> 00:34:54.956
Oh, throwing that red lipstick?

00:34:55.190 --> 00:35:21.652
Yeah, I was like nope, nope, like no room for you here, but also because, like that's how, that's how girls tend to be in our family, they have, they have a record of taking people's mans and I was like it's not gonna be me, it's not gonna be here, and I just don't believe in it especially after, after this girl tragic yeah, it's tough, man, that discipline is yeah

00:35:21.731 --> 00:35:29.230
hard to find and I mean the couples that can god bless you yeah, not in this household.

00:35:29.230 --> 00:35:45.313
If ernesto comes home and is like oh, I'm going to lunch with a girlfriend you guys might never hear from me goodbye but yeah, just little little sidetracked.

00:35:45.313 --> 00:35:54.775
But so no, you don't believe in it I absolutely don't remember when I asked you if I could have a guy trainer and you were like.

00:35:54.775 --> 00:35:58.704
You looked at me like I was crazy.

00:35:59.746 --> 00:36:04.556
Remember that yeah, I was like I really want to look at the, the people that recommend.

00:36:04.556 --> 00:36:15.659
Remember your cousin recommended a dude that'd be piping all his clients hey, can you say that he does?

00:36:17.039 --> 00:36:37.057
well, that's what I had heard after I asked, and then I was like okay, no it's like he's running a plumbing service yeah, but obviously you said no immediately, um, even before you knew that, even before you knew he was a plumber um I mean a girl knows your.

00:36:37.778 --> 00:36:42.215
a girl knows a girl's body's best, so I don't think a guy can show you how to.

00:36:42.215 --> 00:36:44.173
I mean I guess he could.

00:36:44.255 --> 00:36:45.018
but I don't know.

00:36:45.018 --> 00:36:49.780
We're both Virgos and we both feel very strong about Territorial.

00:36:49.780 --> 00:36:50.362
Yeah.

00:36:53.070 --> 00:36:54.052
You could call me insecure.

00:36:54.052 --> 00:36:54.934
I don't give a damn.

00:36:54.954 --> 00:36:58.800
Yeah, I mean, when you told me that there's girls at your job site, I'm like where can I apply?

00:36:59.561 --> 00:37:02.570
She's all with a hard hat I'll go get a hard hat With the broom sweeping.

00:37:02.710 --> 00:37:03.913
At Home Depot right now.

00:37:04.855 --> 00:37:05.617
They're like what's up?

00:37:07.400 --> 00:37:12.295
Just kidding, but yeah, I feel like people.

00:37:12.295 --> 00:37:14.139
Back to the friends and frenemies.

00:37:14.139 --> 00:37:18.164
You guys need to learn how to separate the two.

00:37:18.164 --> 00:37:20.657
There's a lot of people that aren't happy for you.

00:37:20.657 --> 00:37:23.757
They're just there to be nosy.

00:37:24.170 --> 00:37:29.302
They're just along for the ride until that bus stops and they got a departure.

00:37:29.690 --> 00:37:32.338
They're too jealous to unfollow you.

00:37:32.338 --> 00:37:36.237
I mean they're too jealous to like your post.

00:37:36.579 --> 00:37:39.255
but Too nosy to Too nosy to unfollow you.

00:37:39.369 --> 00:37:40.253
Yes, that's how it is.

00:37:40.735 --> 00:37:41.137
Crazy.

00:37:41.269 --> 00:37:44.719
So know how to separate the two.

00:37:44.719 --> 00:37:54.795
And, yeah, remember that, no matter how long you've known someone, that doesn't change anything If they're crossing the line.

00:37:54.795 --> 00:37:56.621
It's time to cut the cord.

00:37:56.721 --> 00:37:56.940
Yeah.

00:38:00.969 --> 00:38:01.351
Yeah, I like it Well.

00:38:01.351 --> 00:38:01.672
Well, that is it.

00:38:01.672 --> 00:38:01.851
You guys.

00:38:01.851 --> 00:38:03.034
This is episode six.

00:38:03.034 --> 00:38:04.036
This is so exciting.

00:38:04.036 --> 00:38:05.882
We hit a milestone that is a milestone.

00:38:05.882 --> 00:38:07.251
We quit the last time at three.

00:38:07.251 --> 00:38:23.237
You know I saw a post that says like I don't know what, like this, huge percent of podcasts fail by their third one so basically, if you, that's the make or break if you pass your third episode, there's a pretty good chance you're gonna make it yeah.

00:38:23.257 --> 00:38:27.902
So once you're, once you're dialed in, it's yeah once you're in your groove, you're screwed.

00:38:27.902 --> 00:38:31.090
That's a phillips hey all right, guys, we're gonna wrap it up there.

00:38:31.090 --> 00:38:32.552
Love you guys later guys, I'm ready.