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Hi guys, welcome back to real love, real life podcast.
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I'm your host, jasmine.
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And I'm Ernesto.
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How was your week?
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It's been pretty long Tired.
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Me too.
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I'm on the struggle bus right now.
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It's back to school.
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It's hectic.
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It's hectic.
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You have just been at work.
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Yeah, it's been crazy I work 10 hour days almost every day I'm not gonna lie, I was, like yesterday and today, feeling a little burnt out, and I think you felt it because when I got in the car right now, you were like, um, how was your day?
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Like, are you okay?
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and I'm just like, yeah, and you're like what's what's wrong?
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um, it's a lot, I feel like, and I don't.
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I don't like to just like bust out and be like I'm exhausted, I'm burnt out, because I don't want to seem ungrateful yeah but I think, I think we can still be grateful and still still feel blessed with, and also be tired or burnt out.
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Yeah, like I've been doing a whole lot without you, now that you're back to work.
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I know it's tough.
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Cause you have to like physically be at work and obviously I'm the only one that can take the kids to the doctor's appointments.
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Two dogs, that's a full house.
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And with the back to school it's been like doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, meet the teacher, school shopping like so much, and we're going to have a high schooler on Monday, I know, and cashing out.
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Yeah, it's been crazy.
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Tell me about it.
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It's been so crazy.
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But today's episode is friends or frenemies?
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Dang I feel like you can relate because you you've been through through this.
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I feel like a lot backstabbing, after backstabbing and I feel like, thanks to my little third eye that I have, I've been able to detect all of your fake little friends and I'm sure eventually they'll watch this.
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I could say the same about yours too.
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I know.
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And your family.
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While we're here, I feel like once you get older not calling us old you are turning 30 next month, I know, but I feel like it gets really hard to make friends or keep the friends that you already have yeah I've even thought sometimes like are we the problem?
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maybe partially we don't have friends and you know, I'm fine, I'm fine with just the two of us, like I have a lot of fun with you, but sometimes, like you know, we talk about it and we're like, oh, like it'd be nice to go on a double date or things like that, but I just feel like we can't seem to like, we don't seem to click with no, the majority of the people that, like, we hang out with, or the ones that we have.
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It's been like out of state, like we've made.
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We made friends when we went to miami yeah huh like we're strangers yeah, so like, but that's what I'm saying like we we've, we get along good, but then it's with people that are like oh, we're probably gonna see them like never again yeah, never again, or in a year or when, whenever we come back to another event or yeah whatever.
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But I feel like since we, I'll say, matured, like you know, once, once, kind of like we got a house and we kind of got our stuff together, just friends kind of started separating yeah, they started weeding themselves out.
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Yeah, everybody started like getting out of the picture.
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I feel like this takes us back to like apartment days.
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That's kind of like when we lived in the apartment.
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That's kind of like where we started noticing like who was who, and I think you know where I'm going with this.
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Yeah.
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So I'm going to be the one to story tell.
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Ernesto had a friend, and let me tell the story.
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Don't look at me like that.
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Ernesto had a friend that was his best friend since elementary or middle school.
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I would say like my second best friend.
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Don't cut me off like that, just your best friend, um, since, like childhood whatever, I feel like we slowly started discovering that he was a frenemy.
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Yeah, he was low key sneak dissonance for no reason.
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Yeah.
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And and I feel like you're so, so nice, like too nice, all the time that you don't.
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You don't look at it that way, you're just like oh, that's his personality or that's how he is, or whatever.
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But when I started like kind of like eavesdropping on phone calls and stuff like that, you know like kind of like overhearing you and I'm like he's dropping on phone calls this guy doesn't seem like um.
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How do I say?
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it like, genuine like genuine, um, I feel like he was your friend up until he saw your glow up and then he was like I'm not your friend anymore yeah, that's how I saw it because it almost seemed like he wasn't happy when you had your first son and I feel like for guys that's kind of a big deal yeah like guys that have known each other since elementary, middle school, and then he has his first son.
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Like you'd think, you'd be like on top of the moon for your boy or whatever he didn't, he never came to see him, like, never stopped by, like none of that.
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Um what else?
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I feel like when you got your dream car, it was like he seemed like he just wasn't interested yeah you had to come to him so he could take a look at your car when he was building his house.
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You, I remember you were so excited for him that, like you came home to tell me you had pictures on your phone of his house and you're like, look it, they're building their house.
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You were showing me dirt and I was like, what is that like?
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and you're like this is where they're gonna build their house and it's gonna look like this and like that.
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You would go every time there was an update and you were so excited for him and you were cheering him on the entire time and when it was our turn, when we started building our house, he never came by.
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He never came like to see the house.
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Our son is four and he's never met him.
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He showed his true colors the moment you had your glow up yeah and I was like yeah, this dude is like he's not a genuine guy story in my life literally.
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Well, I mean, I feel like I feel like there's other friends that don't feel like that, maybe like they don't put the time and effort, but you don't feel like the jealousy I feel like with this person, like it was almost like you could.
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You could literally see the jealousy from like miles away.
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It's almost like how they say people want you to do good, but not better than them.
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And I feel like the moment he saw, like oh he's, he's having a son and I haven't had my first son.
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Like, not not yeah, always comparing and stuff yeah or when he had his fast car, it was like look at my fast car, let's go on a drive in my fast car.
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And then, when you had your fast car, it was like I don't care anymore.
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Now it's not a competition because your car is better.
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Yeah, now, it's not a competition.
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I'm just not interested, and I feel like a lot of people can relate to that.
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I also feel like Especially like long-term friends.
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Oh yeah, and then all of a sudden, once you're doing good, it's like all right.
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Now I don't want to kick it with you.
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And I feel like so many people are like that's my long-term friend, or that's been my friend since kindergarten.
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I hear that a lot, and I used to hear that from you too, because when I used to like call out his BS, you'd be like I've known him for 15 years.
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That would be your answer, or you'd be like I've known him my entire childhood, or whatever people.
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People don't like deserve to be in your circle because they've known you for x amount of time yeah that's what I think.
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I think immediately, like, if I call bs, I don't care if I've known you since birth.
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Yeah, I'm going to cut it off.
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Yeah.
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And I think that's what a lot of people need to do because it's so common now, especially like with social media.
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I feel like now I can call people's BS so quick now with social media, like you're looking at all of my stories and you never like a single post.
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Yeah, You're not supporting me.
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I ain't never seen you like yeah, like you will it's.
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It's so crazy how you see them on a like like happy birthday, devin booker.
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Happy birthday, devin booker.
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On reposting it on their story and like you just see them view your story Like what?
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Literally Like seeing people shop like I don't know from billionaire Kim Kardashian and you're over here like selling cookies and they will not buy one from you?
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Yeah, they're just like nope, or sometimes it doesn't even have to be buy Like, like my stuff.
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I mean liking is free.
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Reposting everything.
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Yeah, liking is free All of that on the internet is completely free and I feel like people just like show their true colors, like, if you're in my story, most likely you saw my post, or you can take five seconds and go to the post.
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Or like especially if it's like somebody close Like how are you not commenting, because you know if it's the other way around we're going to comment like share.
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Yeah, you know what I mean, no hesitation.
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And honestly, I used to be like that, and once I started growing on social media and I saw how people weren't supportive of me, I have stopped being like supportive towards other people too, like I'm not gonna unfollow you but I'm not gonna engage, I'm not gonna engage with you either.
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So like how are you, how are you?
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Like asking for my resources?
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Or like, hey, can you repost this, or hey, can you help me like promote.
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You know my business, but you have never been in my likes yo.
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So how do you spot a frenemy?
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like that, I feel like yeah, exactly.
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So like three points.
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How do you spot them out first, like see, see their actions versus their what they'd be talking yeah, so I've seen this post that says people can't support you public publicly because of the things they said about you privately.
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Yeah, dang so are you worried about like oh, I saw so and so in in Jasmine's likes when she said like this about her or things like that, and not to be messed up, but I mean, like I've showed you messages of like people that literally I've never like, I was never even like friends with them, like that, like that, and they just automatically see like oh, she has a bigger following.
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Let me go in here and like my shot, you know, with like my business, things like that, but again, like, where were you when I was like in my cringy stage?
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yeah, when I didn't have no following, where were you?
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when I was posting three times a day, but I only had 300 followers.
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You weren't messaging right there.
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Yeah, or like you didn't even like engage with me.
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A lot of these people didn't even follow me.
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Like people that we went to school with didn't even follow me until, like they see a large group of people like follow you.
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They're like, oh okay, now it's my turn.
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Or like trying to use like me for your business yeah when you don't even like me yeah like let's be honest, you don't like, you just want some clout, you just wanna or like an easy you want me to promote your product.
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You know I can make sales, so it's like you're trying to make money off me.
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But that's.
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That's the thing that I feel like I'm really good, I'm I'm very salesy online I hate that word because I feel like.
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I feel like I can be myself yeah and attract, you know, like shoppers and things like that.
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Anything that I'm using, I could be like this is the underwear for the day and people are like, oh, I want it like you know it's, it's, it's from walmart or whatever, and people, people will want it.
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Maybe because of that, because I'm being myself, all of that, so people see that and they're like this is a good opportunity for my business yeah, they can get it out there, people actually buy but then again, like you've never.
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You've never supported me.
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You probably don't even like me you used to probably talk smack about me in school in high school.
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Now you're my dms yeah crazy crazy work.
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um, back to like the fact that people don't like deserve your time and energy, even though they've known you since way back when I had a situation back in like February.
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It was like my ex friend's birthday and best friend ex best friend.
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Ok so, and this is the thing like don't, don't mess with me, because I post everything on social media.
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I post everything on social media.
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And if that upset like if that, if you don't want the smoke.
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It's like trying to like, trying to talk smack to a comedian they're going to roast you.
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That's a bad idea and that's my thing, Like I, even even when I had my two, three hundred followers, I ran to my social media.
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That's where I Call me reply.
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Call in your ass Out.
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Yeah, that's where I like vent, that's my little diary, so like, if you, if you don't want it, don't come for me because I'm going to post you.
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Like not post you, but I'm going to talk about the situation on social media.
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So the situation on social media?
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So, anyways, it was her friends, um, her friends, it was my friend's birthday, it was birthday party, it was her birthday party, or like a little gathering, just all girls.
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So, um, she says everybody's gonna bring a plate of something.
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I say, oh, perfect, like you know me, I have to have my little sushi, like once a week.
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So I was like, oh, you know, I'm gonna take something.
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That's like me.
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Whatever, I'm gonna take sushi.
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Okay, she gives me the date, time, address.
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I get there right on time, maybe like a couple minutes after the time.
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I don't see cars, I don't see anything.
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But I'm like you know what?
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I'm just early but you felt like something was wrong.
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I, I felt it when I got there.
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Everything looked like there was like no, like there was no decorations there was nothing.
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So I was like okay, so I sit in my car good thing I didn't like get off, because I would have looked so goofy in that camera.
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Um, so I text her, I call her, she doesn't answer.
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And then I text her and I was like, hey, like is this still going on?
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And she's like, oh, like you didn't get my message.
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I told everybody it was I don't I can't remember if it was one, or she had pushed it back one or two hours.
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And I was like, no, like I didn't get your message.
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And she says I sent it in, I sent it in the group chat, and I think that's where she knew she had messed up.
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She was, and I think that's where she knew she had messed up.
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She was like I started a group chat and I didn't add Jasmine.
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So I was like, okay, that was like another, like red flag.
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There's a group chat and I'm not in it.
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And then, um, she's like come to my mom's house.
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She sends me the address and at this point I was like really annoyed and I'm like girl, you're like we're almost in our 30s, why do you have me driving around like I don't want to go to your mom's house?
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Like, yes, I know your mom love your mom, nice lady, but like I don't I this wasn't the plan, so at this point I feel like I'm not wanted there yeah so I drive back home, I drive back home and I set my tripod up, I unbox the sushi and I start talking about it and I start eating it.
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The video blows up literally million views, like overnight, and she didn't bother to message me, text me again, like throughout the day.
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You know she had a blast at her little gathering, at her get together.
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Whatever, she made me feel like crap.
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She made me feel excluded from her little group chat.
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It really gave me mean girl vibes and, I'm not gonna lie, I cried because it took me back to like middle school, high school, where, like girls are just like mean for no reason or they just want to make you feel like crap for no reason dang so, um, I mean, we all ate the sushi.
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Whatever I was in my feels, I I uploaded the video.
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Well, I think the next morning she saw the video or somebody showed her the video For real.
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And I mean it had a million views.
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We live in Phoenix.
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That got around quick.
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So she immediately messages me and calls me a B for posting that and says that, like she sent the message out, this, this and that, that you know she was sorry that it didn't get to me, that she didn't know I was all of a sudden this sensitive, blah, blah, blah.
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She goes on a rant.
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But the fact that it didn't get to her the entire time, like the fact that she knew, hey, jasmine was gonna bring the sushi, she went back home, she didn't know, like, like she didn't know what I was going through.
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She didn't know what I was going through, she didn't care, but the moment she saw that I had made a video about it, that's the moment it got to her and that's the moment that it bothered her.
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So she, she was pissed and she was talking about, like you know, you made the video and this, this and that, like, I hope you can get some of your little coins back that you spent, like, on the sushi.
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Like, yes, I spent a hundred bucks on the sushi.
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So, yeah, and yes, that video paid me back for the sushi.
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Thank you very much, um, but anyways, 80 of the audience, like 80 of the no girl, she doesn't like you.
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She doesn't like you.
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She was trying to make you look like a fool the entire time.
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Like that's not a friend.
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And the other 20% was like she could have been stressed.
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She could have been like running around all over the place and she didn't have time to text you.
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But I think bottom line is there was a group chat and I wasn't in it.
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Yeah, that's what makes you think, like what's being said in there that you guys don't want to make me a part of, and then another message that she sent was like oh, you got a little bit of followers and now you think like you're all that.
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Immediately when she said that, I was like you're done, you're done.
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You hate that I'm on the internet.
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You hate that I'm like successful with my little bit of followers yeah, the fact that she couldn't leave that out, that she had to throw that in there I was like she's a friend of me she's very much jealous of my following um of what I, and that's probably why she was like I'm going to make her look stupid for a little bit.
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She probably feels left out.
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So she tried to do it to me and Her sister like messaged me, you know, trying to like come to the rescue, and like she kept throwing in, like the fact that like we've been friends since middle school and I'm like I don't care.
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And again, that's what people need to understand that it doesn't matter how long you've known someone.
00:20:51.291 --> 00:20:54.319
It doesn't matter that you've been best friends since kindergarten.
00:20:54.319 --> 00:20:59.491
If you're treating me like crap and you're making me feel less, I don't want to be a part of it.
00:20:59.531 --> 00:20:59.772
Yeah.
00:21:01.281 --> 00:21:04.832
And people need to understand that that it doesn't matter.
00:21:04.832 --> 00:21:08.611
It doesn't matter if you're family or how long you've known this person.
00:21:08.611 --> 00:21:12.390
People need to learn when to cut people off.
00:21:12.660 --> 00:21:15.828
Yeah, you just got to do what's necessary.
00:21:16.210 --> 00:21:17.092
The sushi was great.
00:21:17.092 --> 00:21:18.905
I love that sushi.
00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:20.945
I think that's what helps it go viral.
00:21:20.945 --> 00:21:21.708
You're just like.
00:21:22.481 --> 00:21:28.868
I was just like stuffing the rolls in my mouth, like talking about it, and people were just like girl, what the heck?
00:21:30.300 --> 00:21:39.559
Because a lot of people can relate, Because a lot of people let that slide for a lot multiple times and then I do think about it.
00:21:39.559 --> 00:21:43.568
People are just lonely and don't have friends, so they're willing to put up with people's shit.
00:21:44.000 --> 00:21:56.911
Even if I would have stayed even if I would have stayed, I think to myself I would have went home not knowing that there was a group chat that I was not included in.
00:21:56.911 --> 00:22:06.670
You guys are obviously texting each other, pushing back the time, doing all these things, and I have no clue about it.
00:22:06.670 --> 00:22:11.612
You always say it like what's the saying God?
00:22:11.612 --> 00:22:15.107
God heard conversations that you didn't.
00:22:15.449 --> 00:22:15.790
Yeah.
00:22:16.640 --> 00:22:18.428
So he's probably like girl no.
00:22:18.428 --> 00:22:21.580
These ain't your friends, friends this circle is not for you.
00:22:21.580 --> 00:22:47.153
So immediately I removed myself and it bothered her it it didn't bother her until I post it online, which I didn't even say her name or anything, so nobody would have even known that it was her, but that but once you start comment commenting like trying to fight back, people are like all right, we know who it is now yeah, so, and and I feel like for a moment I felt bad.
00:22:47.212 --> 00:22:59.738
but when she threw that in there, that like oh, just because I had a little bit of followers and because I'm doing this now and like I have to bring everything online, I was like oh yeah, I was like, oh yeah, I was like so this is how you've been feeling about me.
00:22:59.758 --> 00:23:00.759
You truly feel some type of way.
00:23:00.839 --> 00:23:04.229
This is how you truly feel Okay, peace out.
00:23:04.430 --> 00:23:05.051
That's crazy.
00:23:05.559 --> 00:23:10.688
I feel like, how do we look for friends?
00:23:10.688 --> 00:23:15.035
Or like good relationships now that we are adults?
00:23:15.035 --> 00:23:21.644
Or like, what would you look for Like I know it's not's not like on your bucket list to go and find friends.
00:23:21.644 --> 00:23:25.077
You're a busy guy and I don't know I'm traumatized.
00:23:25.117 --> 00:23:25.539
No, I'm just kidding.
00:23:25.539 --> 00:23:46.346
I would just say people that like, I would like to be like you know, like people that you could kind of look up to as well, and people that you know they don't necessarily have to be doing better than you, but like maybe somebody who's just as competitive as you, somebody who's just as good as you at stuff, because iron sharpens iron.
00:23:46.346 --> 00:23:51.832
So if you don't have quality friends, I mean that's true and it's cool.
00:23:51.832 --> 00:23:55.650
I think we also need to separate acquaintances and friends.
00:23:55.650 --> 00:24:01.171
There's a lot of acquaintances oh yeah, we can chat it up about center fielder and all that.
00:24:01.171 --> 00:24:12.346
But you know, once you start talking about real-life problems, business stuff like that, 95% of those people are just gone real quick Like miss me with that.
00:24:12.626 --> 00:24:12.827
Yeah.
00:24:13.319 --> 00:24:24.683
So I would say people with like traits that you find rare, like competent people, genuine people that do stuff for people that doesn't benefit them.
00:24:24.683 --> 00:24:27.630
We all know people like that.
00:24:27.630 --> 00:24:38.010
It's like this guy at work, like he literally like is only motivated like if we leave early, like hey, hey, we're leaving.
00:24:38.010 --> 00:24:41.516
If, if, if you kick ass, we're leaving at one o'clock.
00:24:41.516 --> 00:24:43.126
Yeah, but we're getting paid for 10.
00:24:43.299 --> 00:24:44.526
If not, he's not moving.
