WEBVTT
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So we're talking about boundaries today.
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I feel like that's a topic.
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Uh I posted it I posted about it.
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I posted about it yesterday and a couple of people were messaging me and they're like, I think this is so important.
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And I feel like in a Hispanic household, there is no boundaries.
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I don't know if you can agree.
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It is what it is, you know.
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It it's because like don't even like don't even trust your own intuition that you know you might have a creepy uncle and it's like, oh, that's your creepy uncle, give him a hug.
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And it's like, I don't want to give him a hug.
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He's gonna hug me a little tighter than he should.
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And and I think when you when you talk about that, like when you s try to set those boundaries, you're like, you're dramatic, you're the bad guy, you're the you're the problem.
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And you're like, I these are my boundaries.
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Like, and and I I I love that we discovered that because we we discovered boundaries not that long ago.
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Um, I feel like we were just always kind of like going with the flow.
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And then once we discovered, like, no, this is like people are just going like overboard.
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We learn we're we're still learning how to set our boundaries, but I love that like our kids are also seeing that.
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So they it's like you have to know your self-worth, but it's like you know, if your parents don't instill that, instill that in you, then it's like you're just kind of flowing through life, letting especially if you have a big heart, people are just walking all over you, and then it's just everybody just steps on you.
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It's like the analogy of you're trying to build your house brick by brick, people are coming and taking your bricks because you're so nice, handing them out.
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Yeah, everybody builds something for themselves, and you look back, you don't have nothing to show for.
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Yeah.
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Because you didn't set one boundary.
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Exactly.
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You're just like, oh, you know, be the bigger person or or just be like, you know the you know what?
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I know my self-worth.
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I'm drawing the line, and that's where you tend to lose people is when you draw the line, and then people are like, oh, all right.
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But it's like, wait, were you even my friend?
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You may have the same blood running through your through our body, but you just showed your cards, you know.
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It's like it just takes one one moment for everything to fall apart, and it's like it wasn't even worth it, you know?
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Yeah, you set your boundaries, and then all of a sudden, like you're you're bad.
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Like, or she's mean.
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She's mean.
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I feel like recently, like I've been setting boundaries with everyone.
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Um, and it's it's kind of hard to talk about, but I feel like I'm you know, I want to like open up about it because I want I want other people to learn how to set boundaries too.
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It doesn't matter with who.
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Like I just had to set like one of my biggest boundaries, and it was with my mom.
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Um, and that's hard because again, I go back to coming from a Hispanic household.
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How dare you?
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Like, she birthed you or something, but it's like, but is she like good for my mental health?
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Um, is she like going a little overboard?
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Like once once you're like taking my peace, it's not worth it.
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It's not worth it, especially now that like you know, I have you and we have the kids.
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Once you have your family, like that's your main priority.
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I mean, my our my parents live a mile down the street, and it's like you know, I'm grateful, like if you show up on a random Tuesday, but it's like if we're like doing content on Tuesday, like we're working, you know.
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Exactly.
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Yeah, we have the flexibility and the availability for you to pull up like that, but it's like, do I have to get to the point where I don't answer the door?
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Like, cause like, you know, you tell somebody, hey, we're working, they get offended by it, or or if it's like your friends, I there's one of your friends that they go, they'll try to FaceTime you for three hours.
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And it's like in three hours I could post eight videos, five videos on my TikTok, some making money off shops, some uh bringing in followers, yeah, viewers, like those three hours I can be productive, even though I love you as a friend.
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It's like if I was at uh I was if I was at the construction site, fight a one, like yeah, are you gonna bother me?
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Like how you're not bother me, but are you gonna like call me and try to FaceTime me?
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Or it's like it's the same thing, you have to respect that.
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And see, so speaking of this friend that is no longer my friend, um Lend somebody money, guys.
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You'll see who's a true friend.
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Lend somebody money and watch someone walk out of your life so fast, but okay, so I didn't set those boundaries when we first became friends.
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Even if she was an inconvenience, it was almost like I'm in the middle of of content.
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Um, but you know what?
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She's calling me, hey, like what's going on?
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You know, blah, blah, blah.
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Oh, she's just bored.
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She's bored, she wants to have a conversation.
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She just got out of work or she's driving home.
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So, you know, to pass.
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But then when I started getting really busy, like to the point where I'm recording 10, 12 videos a day, I stopped answering.
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And then that's when she started getting like really almost like annoyed.
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And then I almost felt like she would also do it like on purpose, like keep calling me.
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Or if she would see that I would post something, she would message me and I'd be like, So I I know I've seen like memes and stuff of saying, like, people don't answer the phone, but they'll be posting on social media.
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Well, yeah, but like it's my job.
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Yeah, like I have I have to do it, like that's my job.
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So she'd be like, I just saw that you posted.
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Um, why don't you answer me or something?
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And I feel like when you don't set boundaries, you almost start like resenting is that I can't let you know.
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Like resenting them?
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Resenting people, or you get like that ick for them, like, what are you doing?
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I started, I started getting this ick for her.
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And it was almost like when I would see her name drop like on my phone, I'd be like, like, what is it now?
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Like, what, like, why can't I just like have a moment?
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Or it was almost like I would also like skip through like her stories.
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Like, I didn't want her to see me see her stories.
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So then I was like, okay, this friendship started off really good, but I But it also was like, it was a I mean, she's cool and all that, but it was like it was she already kind of knew me who know who who knew who I was.
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So it's like we met this pro nah, that's gonna be too far, huh?
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Exposed.
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Sorry guys, can't tell the whole story like that.
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Yeah, let's not do that.
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Um, but so the friendship started off good.
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We can say that.
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The friendship started off good.
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Again, I didn't set my boundaries.
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Like us, like we take our dinner time pretty serious.
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We we sit together and stuff like that.
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Her, not so much.
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You know, she likes to FaceTime her friends, or she doesn't sit down and have dinner with her husband.
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So, but I do.
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So she'd be she would want to FaceTime me like at dinner time, and I'm like, I'm not like I don't even answer like my parents or my siblings like when I'm having dinner.
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Like, what makes you think I'm gonna answer you?
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Unless you're stranded on the side of the road, you should not be calling me at dinner time.
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Yeah, and it's like you you're my friend, you know how like my life is kind of structured.
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Yeah, you know when I cook dinner.
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I mean, you used to watch the dinner lives, so it's like you know I cook dinner.
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So it's like, how can you?
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I don't know, I guess nobody's gonna have the same heart as you.
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So you can't be like, Well, why ain't they doing this?
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Well, nobody has the same brain as you.
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You might be an analytical thinker, but they might just be like bloop like thought call.
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Instead of you, you just played it 10 times in your head.
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If I say this, she's doing this.
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What if she's already doing that?
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Then I'm a you know, so it's like exactly.
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But I I think, like, you know, to sum it up, I think that is why it is so important from the beginning.
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Yeah, I think that's where I messed up because back then I didn't I didn't even know how to set those boundaries.
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Again, it wasn't a thing to set boundaries because in a Hispanic household, we don't set boundaries.
