EP 12: What It Means to Be Strong Your Way

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Hi guys, welcome back to Real Love, Real Life Podcast.

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I'm your host, Jasmine.

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I know you're waiting for the and I'm your host Ernesto, but no, he is not here.

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We have a special guest, and before you show her, I wanna say a little bit about who she is.

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I'll let her introduce herself right now.

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Found her on TikTok, loved her, followed her, didn't agree 100% with everything, but that is the beauty of respecting other people's opinions.

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So here it goes.

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Hi, Jasmine.

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Thank you for having me on.

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So, like Jasmine mentioned, you know, my name is Rox in real time on TikTok with periods in between all of them.

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Um, and I agree.

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I think that, you know, the the conversation, when the conversation stops, that's when fighting begins.

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That's when violence begins, right?

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And those are the famous words of our, you know, late great Charlie Kirk.

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Um, and uh I think that that is what has made my TikTok so successful is the fact that it is an open platform where we can have dialogue with people who we disagree with and um and still be productive and still respect each other.

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Yes.

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So uh yeah, thanks for having me.

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I agree.

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You're welcome.

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Thank you for coming.

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Um okay, so found you on TikTok.

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Um, what made me follow you?

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I can't remember if it was like on my main or second account, but I remember coming across a video where you know you had mentioned that you were a teen mom.

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Obviously, you're a Latina, and I just felt like I like connected a lot with you.

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I'm also a teen mom.

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I had my first son at 14, my second at 16, and grew up in like the worst part of the valley.

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And I just feel like everything, it was like we had so much in common.

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And I was like, I need to sit down and talk with her.

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Like, I just feel like it is so important.

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Also, a lot of people don't like this, but we're both conservatives and women of faith.

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And that's a very sensitive topic right now on social media.

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It is.

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I feel like it's also kind of scary to talk about it because the cancel culture is just like it's so it's brutal.

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It's scary to say something.

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Listen, the reality of the situation for me is um I only fear one person and that's God.

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I only fear one being, that's God, you know.

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And um, if we I would agree, you know, I definitely took a pause for 24 hours after that situation happened, and then I went back, you know, in our history's time and started seeing other things that have happened, you know, whether it was some freedom of speech or opinions or hate speech or political violence or whatever it was.

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And I had a long conversation with my husband about, you know, should I continue to do what I'm doing?

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And I don't think that on my side there was ever any doubt, but because I am such a God-fearing woman and my marriage is so priority to me, that I wanted to make sure that he was okay with what I was doing and that I was continuing to proceed.

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And I'll never forget, it wasn't even two minutes into the conversation, and my husband said, if you even think about stopping what you're doing and letting your voice be heard, we're gonna have a problem.

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And I was like, fair, that's all you need to say.

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That's all you need to say.

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And um that's what it's been since.

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I love that.

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And I feel like when you, you know, somebody knows that you're a conservative woman, they think that people have like this mindset, right?

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Like conservative women's like stay at home, you listen to your husband, you cook for him, and you pack him lunch and this and that.

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And and don't get me wrong, me, I I love that.

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I love doing that.

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I don't have see, and I am not a domestic gangster.

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You will not find me cooking.

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I don't clean, I don't sit at home with the kids, I don't do my laundry, I do none of that.

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And it's not because I can't, it's because, and again, here's the reality.

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My mom was a stay-at-home mom a majority of the time.

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And I highly respected my mom, but never once in my life growing up did I think that I was going to be a mom.

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Did I want that life?

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Like, genuinely, if you were to ask me what did you see yourself as a teenager, what you were going to do, I was going to be a single mom.

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I wanted one kid, it was going to be a girl, and I was going to be this badass lawyer, business lawyer in a big city in New York City, and no man was gonna tie me down.

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Like that was my reality.

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And when I had my first daughter, and when I met my husband, which people are gonna think this is crazy, because again, as a teen mom, I met him when I was 14 years old, got pregnant at 15, had my first daughter 20 days after I turned 16.

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Um, it was like I couldn't see myself doing anything else.

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And now I had to figure out a whole different way of life to compromise on that.

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Yeah.

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You know?

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So uh, you know, when I see stay-at-home moms and stuff, I'm like, oh, that's like maybe I would like to do that.

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Maybe I could stay home and sit down and I can't.

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I can't.

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So this is proof that there's literally two conservatives sitting in front of you.

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Like faithful to God, and we have very different lifestyles.

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Yeah.

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But to be fair, right, I also don't know who my mortgage company is.

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I have to ask my husband all the time if we have ATT or Verizon.

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He's like, just look at your phone.

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I don't, I my husband pays 100% of the bills.

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So that's also very conservative in that front, but he also supports what I like to do as well, too.

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And in the beginning, when I started doing all of this TikTok things and, you know, bringing it up and having people invite me to do, you know, to speak and to do other things like that, he would be like, You're crazy, but go ahead.

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Like you're crazy, but go ahead.

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And like in a silly, goofy way.

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And then he was like, Wait, you're taking this seriously.

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Yeah.

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When I started my businesses, my husband was like, What are you doing?

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Like, don't you are are you ever just happy just sitting down and being content and being still?

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No, no, I've got, I've got to grow.

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I have things to do.

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Like, I'm behind.

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And he's like, You're 26 years old with two businesses.

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How are you behind?

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And they're insanely successful.

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Sit down.

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Yeah.

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And I'm like, no, no.

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And the only thing in the last 20 years of us being together that I had ever sat down and smelled the roses on was because I was forced to.

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When I got pregnant with our son, we had three daughters at the time.

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Took us 13 years to get our son.

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Um, I had a mass in my abdomen that I didn't know about.

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And I had to go see a bunch of, you know, oncologists and whatnot.

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And I ended up having surgery and they ended up putting me on bed rest.

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And I'm like, can I get like a modified bed rest?

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Like, can I take the dog for a walk?

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Like, can I do?

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And they were like, we just need you to do whatever you do, whatever you want to do.

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Don't go to work, don't take phone calls, don't do anything crazy.

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And that was the only thing that knocked me down.

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And then my son was born slightly premature.

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My husband said, stay home for a year until we have him healthy, well.

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Yeah.

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He can go to daycare or whatever.

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And at 10 months, uh, I had actually started a t-shirt business during that time.

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I was doing pop-ups in farmer markets.

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The Instagram page is still up.

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It's called Mom Corp Apparel.

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Um, I was doing farmers markets and you know, all of these really fun, cool events and stuff that was driving my husband crazy because here I am breastfeeding a baby, carrying all of this stuff, you know, doing all of my things.

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And then um, and then at 10 months, I said, No, I'm going back to work.

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And I got a job.

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So I made him a steak dinner when he came home.

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He's like, What are you doing?

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How come the house is so nice?

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Why are you making my favorite steak?

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And I'm like, I have some news.

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And he's like, What did you do?

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I'm like, I got a job.

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I'm going back to work.

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I'm not, I can't sit at home.

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And he was like, Oh my god.

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Yeah.

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But you, I mean, and people thrive also staying at home.

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You know, you have to go with what your passion is.

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Yeah.

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And I I always like knew that I like like there's videos of me, like little, as soon as like phones with a camera came out, like I was recording myself.

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Um, my siblings would make fun of me for it and stuff like that.

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And now here I am.

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But nobody ever, I feel like coming from a Hispanic household, like used, they would see that and they'd be like, she's I use Javier Noka, like she's crazy.

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She's crazy.

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Like, no.

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Girl, they still say that's about me.

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Yeah.

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I I know, I know that I was like, they would still say that about me.

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Yeah.

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I actually checked my mom's checked my mom's phone one time when I was in Mexico visiting her because she needed me to fix something.

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And I actually hopped onto a family group chat and there were videos of me forwarded into the group chat.

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And I was like, I don't even think you guys follow me.

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You guys are forwarding.

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Can you make these comments?

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Can you repost?

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Can you do something?

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Listen, my mom screenshots the family group chat of all of my tias and tíos and sends it and look at, oh, she thinks she's an influencer.

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Oh, she's and I'm like, that's okay.

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That's okay.

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I am.

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I am.

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Thank you.

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I'm enjoying it.

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No, um, and you know what's funny is my mom talks so much about like, what are you gonna do?

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You're gonna make a video about this?

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You're gonna make a video about it.

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I'm like, yeah, probably.

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Yeah, probably.

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And I'll give you an uh not necessarily a disagreement, but a conversation I had with one of my TIAs even just this past weekend about it.

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But the most I get harassed by people in Phoenix or in my little area of town in the West Valley is by the people who know my mom, who follow me, who support me, who give my mom a hard time about it because my mom is a liberal.

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Okay.

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So they will work with my mom.

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They know my mom, they've known her for reason.

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They're like, We love your daughter, she's amazing.

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You raised such a good daughter, you did such a good job.

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And my mom's like, oh my god, please stop.

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No, I disagree with everything she says, everything.

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And I'm like, no, you don't, because if I go ask you the Hispanics were the original conservatives, yeah, if I go and ask my mom these questions, she would agree.

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And I'm like, then you're no longer liberal.

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Yeah.

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You know, but that's okay, you know, believe whatever.

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And my dad, he just sounds like CNN MSMBC.

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You walk into the house, and my dad sounds like he just turned off the TV and recognized every word they said.

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So we me and my dad, you've seen him on my TikTok a couple of times.

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I don't know if you've scrolled that far back, but you know, there's time we went to ice cream and talked about it, and time we did, yeah.

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My dad disagrees and he'll go on and on and on, and he's like, my dad's still working and everything because you know, he might I get my fire from my dad, but my dad never did anything with it.

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He never started a business like he wanted to.

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He never went off and did some of these things because he was about the safety and security and taking a care of us.

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We had six kids, yeah, or there's six siblings.

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So, you know, my mom was a stay-at-home mom a majority of her life, and um, my dad is a provider.

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So I think for him, it was I have to do what's safe and take care of my family.

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So when he comes and he talks about some of the things that Trump is doing and whatnot, and he says the big beautiful bill, it's only gonna give me a max$12,000.

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That's all I qualify for.

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And I'm like, how much you get under Biden?

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That's not the point.

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I'm just saying, how come$12,000 is all I can get?

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Did you get any stimulus under Biden?

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Did you get anything under Biden?

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Okay, I'm just asking, you know?

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Yeah.

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And my mom's like, you stop it right now.

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And I'm like, why am I the one that's always getting yelled at?

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You know, he's the one that made the comment.

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I'm just proving him wrong and he doesn't like it.

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Yeah, so yeah.

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It's it's crazy.

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I my parents don't live here, so we don't talk a lot about that stuff, but my husband's parents do.

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And my husband's dad is a liberal, and he can sit there and like go on and on and on.

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And I'm just like, I gotta go.

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I gotta go.

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I don't have like the energy for this.

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I don't, I stay there ten toes down.

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You know me, I'm gonna fight all day long.

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And it's not even a fight.

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I stay calm and then they get riled up, then they then they get angry, then they throw things, and they're like, I don't even know why I'm here.

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Like my little brother, God forbid.

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Oh my gosh, God love my little brother.

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He's 25, liberal to the core, liberal to the core, okay?

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And he sent me a message one time and he was like, I hope you're happy that Trump got into office.

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We're gonna um, we're gonna, you're gonna have your rights taken away.

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And I'm like, oh God, here we go again.

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Okay, like come on, I can rights, whatever.

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Okay.

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And then I all I did was message him back.

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If I think it was the day of the election, because I don't think they had called the results yet, right?

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It was so the morning of the election, and he wanted to send me this nasty message.

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So I messaged him back and I said, Have fun fighting in World War III if Kamala wins, and that you blood will be on your hands.

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And he called my mom, and now my mom's calling me, and my dad's calling me, and everybody's calling me, and I'm like, And then we're the do not disturb, do not disturb, ignore.

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He's ignorant, he's 25 years old, he did not complete school, he is not working in anything valuable of a trade, he is not doing anything with his life, and he wants to tell everybody, I'm just like Roxanne, I'm just like Roxanne, I have the fire, like I'm gonna be just like her, and I'm gonna surpass her in success one day.

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And I'm like, you gotta catch up first.

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Yeah, you know, the people that are I always tell my little brother, you know, the people that are doing better than you, they're not working twice as hard as you.

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They're not working three times as hard as you.

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I am working five hundred times as hard as you.

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When I wake up at 4 a.m., I am immediately working out, walking, worshiping.

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I am checking my emails, I am taking care of the dogs.

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Like there is a million things that I do before the first per or the second person in my house even wakes up.

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Yeah.

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What are you doing?

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Getting up five minutes before you have to leave the house, saying you want to start 50 things.

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It's just it's not we're we are not the same, nor will you ever compare.

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And I am the less than 1%.

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And I don't say that to be cocky.

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There was a lot of years I had that um imposter syndrome where I was like, I don't deserve this, I have to work harder because you know, because I'm Hispanic, because I'm a female, because I'm, you know, I don't have all of these degrees behind my name until I realized I can outwork anybody.

00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:32.000
I can outwork anybody.

00:13:32.080 --> 00:13:33.600
And that's literally what it was.

00:13:33.919 --> 00:13:34.159
Yeah.

00:13:34.320 --> 00:13:35.759
Even in a world where I didn't have to.

00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:39.759
And people will say, Well, you're lucky and you're blessed and you're this and that because your husband does all of that.

00:13:39.919 --> 00:13:41.440
He pays all of the bills and he does all those things.

00:13:41.519 --> 00:13:43.600
I'm like, girl, you don't know the days.

00:13:43.679 --> 00:13:56.240
Yeah, you don't know the days when our electricity was shut off, and when we almost lost our house when I was out on uh bed rest with my son, and when you know, we went through all of these things that you know, my husband was working three jobs and I never saw him.

00:13:56.399 --> 00:13:57.200
You know what I mean?

00:13:57.440 --> 00:14:00.000
So um, those things just don't bother me.

00:14:00.159 --> 00:14:01.440
Yeah, no, you can't.

00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:03.120
I mean, there's times too, right?

00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:12.159
That my husband was working 60 hours a week and he had a mobile detail business just to be able to like pay all the bills.

00:14:12.480 --> 00:14:12.639
Eat.

00:14:12.879 --> 00:14:14.240
Yeah, just to eat.

00:14:14.480 --> 00:14:21.120
And then when I, when like I blew up on social media, I really wanted him to take a break, also because he was helping me.

00:14:21.200 --> 00:14:22.320
He was kind of like my little assistant.

00:14:22.480 --> 00:14:22.879
Yeah, I know.

00:14:22.960 --> 00:14:23.519
I love that.

00:14:23.679 --> 00:14:24.320
I love that.

00:14:24.559 --> 00:14:27.440
And um, then people were like, then that's wrong.

00:14:27.600 --> 00:14:29.039
Oh, that's totally wrong.

00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:32.000
Like for you to be paying everything and all this.

00:14:32.080 --> 00:14:34.799
And I'm like, he's literally held it down for so long.

00:14:34.879 --> 00:14:36.080
I don't see it that way.

00:14:36.320 --> 00:14:39.039
We don't have like 50 right now that we both work, yeah.

00:14:39.200 --> 00:14:40.960
It's it's not 50-50.

00:14:41.039 --> 00:14:43.360
He's still like he he takes everything.

00:14:44.080 --> 00:14:51.919
But when he needed like that break and I needed him too, I didn't think for a second to be like, I'll take over.

00:14:52.159 --> 00:15:03.440
Or even if you like you do something around your house, or you buy a new car, or you take care of him, or you buy him a gift or something like that, it's so frowned upon, like, oh well, that truck he's driving, Roxanne bought him.

00:15:03.679 --> 00:15:04.240
And did?

00:15:04.639 --> 00:15:04.960
Yeah.

00:15:05.200 --> 00:15:05.519
Yep.

00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:08.320
Why why is it looked at that way?

00:15:08.480 --> 00:15:11.279
But listen, what other people think of me is none of my business.

00:15:11.440 --> 00:15:12.480
Good, bad, or indifferent.

00:15:12.639 --> 00:15:14.559
I don't give a f yeah.

00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:16.799
Personally, I don't.

00:15:17.039 --> 00:15:19.600
So uh, you know, I get that it's looked at that way.

00:15:19.679 --> 00:15:23.279
I get that people judge, um, but it just doesn't, it doesn't bother me, you know.

00:15:23.600 --> 00:15:24.639
It is what it is.

00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:26.799
Um, I I have some questions.

00:15:27.120 --> 00:15:28.720
All right, let's do it.

00:15:29.360 --> 00:15:37.440
Um, okay, so first thing, how did you have you always been like this that you like to speak so boldly?

00:15:37.519 --> 00:15:40.720
Or when when did you like start speaking like that on social media?

00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:41.120
Okay.

00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:41.919
Always.

00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:48.000
Um, since I was a little kid, my dad would constantly tell me, you are going to be a lawyer and you're gonna be a damn good one.

00:15:48.159 --> 00:15:51.600
And I always said, uh in my head, I was like, I'm not gonna be a lawyer.

00:15:51.840 --> 00:15:55.120
I'm not gonna be a lawyer because lawyers lie and I only live off of the truth.

00:15:55.279 --> 00:16:01.279
I remember from a very young age thinking like I wasn't going to be a lawyer because lawyers lie and I live off of the truth, and I was told that lawyers lie.

00:16:01.440 --> 00:16:02.960
Now, obviously, I think that that's different.

00:16:03.039 --> 00:16:04.799
My daughter's going to law school, for goodness sake.

00:16:04.960 --> 00:16:07.120
So I obviously I think differently of that.

00:16:07.279 --> 00:16:08.639
But um, I've always been bold.

00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:13.919
I've always been the one that was, of course, considered the problem starter because I just couldn't keep my mouth shut.

00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:15.039
I had to say how it was.

00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:17.279
I would always stick up for the underdog.

00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:20.559
I was always, I, it was the truth.

00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:25.600
And when somebody wasn't telling the truth to make somebody else look bad, I was the one that was like waving the red.

00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:27.919
I'm like, hey, you're crazy.

00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:29.200
Put the facts together.

00:16:29.279 --> 00:16:31.679
Like I'm a very literal person, and it makes sense.

00:16:31.840 --> 00:16:32.879
Why are you talking like that?

00:16:32.960 --> 00:16:34.000
Or why are you saying that?

00:16:34.080 --> 00:16:37.360
So um, I was always labeled the one in my house, you know, like the problem starter.

00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:41.679
I always had to be right, I always had to tell everybody everything, and um, they haven't proved me wrong yet.

00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:43.200
So that's literally me.

00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:48.480
And I also feel like on social media, my personality is toned down so much.

00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:56.799
And I have really good friends of mine who have been my friends for 10, 15 years, people I went to school with, high school with, that are like, girl, you're so toned down on social media.

00:16:56.879 --> 00:17:01.919
And I'm like, which is funny because people keep telling me to tone down more, but that's because of community guidelines, right?

00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:04.079
Like if you're a new mean person, I definitely not.

00:17:04.319 --> 00:17:09.680
And that was the whole reason behind me starting a podcast was because I didn't want to have to tone down.

00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:10.799
I don't want to tone down.

00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:17.039
I want to be who I am, say what I say, and uh, well, if it gets me canceled, then cancel myself first.

00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:17.680
Exactly.

00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:26.640
That's and that's why I started it too, because it was you have to be very careful like with what you say.

00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:36.079
And and I was like, I feel like I could just be in my space, like I real raw, like the truth, you know, in my in my little space.

00:17:36.240 --> 00:17:39.599
And and it doesn't have to be on TikTok.

00:17:39.759 --> 00:17:48.319
Like I'll share clips and stuff like that, but I just feel like I I can come here and I sit down and me and my husband just talk about anything and everything.

00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:48.559
Yeah.

00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:53.920
And and then I go more on TikTok and it and it's like, you know, you kinda have to be nice.

00:17:54.000 --> 00:17:54.799
You gotta tone it down.

00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:56.960
Hey guys, hey guys.

00:17:57.680 --> 00:17:59.519
I wish my husband was more of an extrovert.

00:17:59.599 --> 00:18:00.079
He is not.

00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:04.960
My husband is an introvert to the core, like introvert to the core.

00:18:05.039 --> 00:18:07.440
So, like something like this would terrify him.

00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:17.119
Because my, I mean, my husband is the big, burly, bearded, football-loving, gun-wielding, truck driving, like, keep him out of the spotlight.

00:18:17.279 --> 00:18:19.599
His family is taken care of and his family will be protected.

00:18:19.759 --> 00:18:30.720
And then he has this wife that is like bigger than ever, you know, and sometimes even, you know, we're going to the Charlie Kirk Memorial this Sunday, and um, he's like, Oh my gosh, you're gonna talk to people, aren't you?

00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:33.839
And I'm like, There are so many people that are reaching out saying, Where are you gonna be?

00:18:34.000 --> 00:18:39.759
Let's meet up, let's make sure we get this content, let's make sure that we discuss these issues and we get our word out there.

00:18:39.839 --> 00:18:41.599
And my husband's like, Oh my god, okay.

00:18:41.920 --> 00:18:43.119
He's like, Oh, wait in the car.

00:18:43.680 --> 00:18:45.839
I know, I'll drop you off, you know.

00:18:45.920 --> 00:18:46.880
So that's what it is.

00:18:47.279 --> 00:18:47.680
That's funny.

00:18:47.759 --> 00:18:48.079
Yeah.

00:18:48.319 --> 00:18:53.680
Um, and what motivates you to share and be so open?

00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:54.559
The truth.

00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:57.039
The truth, my kids' future.

00:18:57.359 --> 00:19:06.160
You know, I didn't think, um, and also the reality that it can be that things can be accomplished.

00:19:06.319 --> 00:19:16.720
I feel like people, our people, certain communities have been lied to for so long and been told that you can't do something, you can't be successful.

00:19:17.039 --> 00:19:21.359
And once I realized it, you know, I grew up on 27th Avenue in Indian School.

00:19:22.720 --> 00:19:26.319
Beachfront property here in Phoenix, Arizona, you know, like I grew up on 26.

00:19:26.799 --> 00:19:29.200
I walked those streets at 15 and pregnant.

00:19:29.519 --> 00:19:35.839
And when I went out to look for a job, I was hired by a doctor and his wife who had a small private practice at 17 years old.

00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:36.960
That was my first job ever.

00:19:37.039 --> 00:19:40.960
I refused to work in fast food, I refused to work in retail, no shame on the people that do.

00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:44.640
I was just like, there is got there has got to be more out there for me.

00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:56.160
And the second I surrounded myself with physicians, with entrepreneurs, with lawyers, with all of these people, nurses, so successful in that field working in this office, I started to ask them.

00:19:56.240 --> 00:19:57.680
Like, and I've always been a curious person.

00:19:57.759 --> 00:19:59.279
So I'm like, what made you become a doctor?

00:19:59.440 --> 00:20:00.559
Why I wasn't given a choice.

00:20:00.799 --> 00:20:02.000
What do you mean you weren't given a choice?

00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:04.799
Well, my dad said you're going to America and you're gonna go to medical school.

00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:06.640
And you just did it.

00:20:06.880 --> 00:20:07.680
Like you just did it.

00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:09.200
And he's like, Well, aren't you scared of your parents?

00:20:09.279 --> 00:20:10.720
And I'm like, Well, yeah, my parents will beat my ass.

00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:11.839
So of course I'm scared of my mom.

00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:12.400
You know what I mean?

00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:13.200
Like she'll come for me.

00:20:13.359 --> 00:20:13.519
Yeah.

00:20:13.680 --> 00:20:15.759
Um, he was like, Well, I was scared for my life.

00:20:15.920 --> 00:20:19.920
My dad said, if you do not go to America and become a doctor, I will there's no point in you living.

00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:22.400
And I'm like, all right, that works.

00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:22.720
Okay.

00:20:22.880 --> 00:20:24.240
Well, are you happy that you're a doctor?

00:20:24.400 --> 00:20:32.880
I mean, yeah, I work two weeks out of the month and it affords me the life that I want to do the other two weeks out of the month, and I live a comfortable life and I'm happy.

00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:34.880
And I'm like, that's the secret sauce.

00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:40.079
Do the things that you don't want to do in order to live a secret or in order to live a valuable life.

00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:47.759
So um, that's when my daughter turned 16, you know, and came to me and she's like, I want to be this and I want to be a chef and I wanna start a coffee shop with flowers.

00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:59.519
And I'm like, one day I got into it with her, and um, she's gonna kill me for telling this story, but she looked, oh, she'd gotten a job at Target and Target called her for an interview and she ignored it and didn't go.

00:21:00.880 --> 00:21:02.960
And I was like, Hey, didn't you have an interview today?

00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:05.359
And she was like, Yeah, but I didn't go because I really don't want to work at Target.

00:21:05.440 --> 00:21:06.319
My friends said that they don't enjoy it.

00:21:06.319 --> 00:21:07.920
I said, Did you call the lady and tell her thank you?

00:21:08.000 --> 00:21:09.680
But I won't be coming, I'm no longer interested.

00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:10.799
No, I just didn't go.

00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:12.480
There was like a lot of people going for orientation.

00:21:12.559 --> 00:21:13.200
Oh, I lost it.

00:21:13.759 --> 00:21:14.799
Yeah, I lost it on her.

00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:24.240
I was like, absolutely under no circumstance, I don't care how valuable or less valuable you think the job is, you will respect the people that are offering you an opportunity to go provide for yourself.

00:21:24.480 --> 00:21:27.839
Um, and she was like, You're so hard on me between school.

00:21:27.920 --> 00:21:29.440
And I said, Nobody ever told you to get a job.

00:21:29.599 --> 00:21:37.279
You have a car, brand new car paid for, you have your cell phone bill paid for, your schooling is gonna be paid for, as long as you bring me a master's degree, like your life is set.

00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:40.319
So I don't understand where you've got this idea in your head.

00:21:40.400 --> 00:21:42.000
And she was like, You don't understand.

00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:43.519
School is so hard and all these things.

00:21:43.599 --> 00:21:45.599
And um I said, You're 16.

00:21:46.240 --> 00:21:47.519
And she was like, Yeah, and I'm not you.

00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:49.920
And I said, You're not me.

00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:50.640
Guess what?

00:21:50.799 --> 00:21:52.240
You're better than me already.

00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:55.039
My job was to make sure you were better than me at 16.

00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:57.039
You're right, you don't have a child at 16.

00:21:57.119 --> 00:21:58.960
You're right, you don't have the same struggles that I did.

00:21:59.039 --> 00:21:59.519
And guess what?

00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:00.720
Look how successful I am.

00:22:01.680 --> 00:22:11.599
Which means if I can do harder things and you're doing right now, and you should seen my husband, he was kind of in the hallway, and the second she said, Oh, I'm not you, I'm not pregnant at 16, my husband was like, backing up.

00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:12.720
He was like, She's gonna kill her.

00:22:12.799 --> 00:22:13.200
She's done.

00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:14.000
This kid is done.

00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:14.319
Yeah.

00:22:14.480 --> 00:22:21.519
And I was like, if you think that I have not spent the last 16 years coming up with the perfect answer for this, you are mistakenly wrong.

00:22:21.680 --> 00:22:25.759
I stayed as calm as I could be, and I said, That is the best compliment you will ever give me in my life.

00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:27.839
You are 10 times better than I will ever be.

00:22:27.920 --> 00:22:30.559
And if I could do something hard, you could do something even harder.

00:22:30.720 --> 00:22:32.720
So you're right, you're not me, you're better than me.

00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:38.559
And if you want to feed me this line of you're just living vicariously through me, let me tell you one thing right now, you are damn straight.

00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:53.839
You will go to school, you will not get a job, you will bring me a master's degree, and at that point, if you want to go to law school or do whatever you want to do, I don't care, but you will know how to run your own business because unfortunately for you, you are not the less than 1%, which means you are not me.

00:22:54.160 --> 00:23:01.440
And you do not have the ability with the environment that you grew up in to be successful like me on your own because you feel like it.

00:23:01.680 --> 00:23:03.440
And that's not an insult to you.

00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:05.599
You should be privileged because of that.

00:23:05.920 --> 00:23:10.000
So shut up, call Target right now.

00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:13.680
Yeah, don't care who you talk to, and you better apologize.

00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:18.079
And if you ever embarrass me like that again or this family, we will have a problem.

00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:21.839
And she's 19 now, and her friends are like, You can go out and you can do what you want.

00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:22.880
She's like, nope.

00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:24.799
Yeah, ride in the bus till the wheels fall off.

00:23:24.880 --> 00:23:31.519
I will have houses in my name, I will have my education paid for, I have a car in my name, my bills are paid, my parents give me an allowance to eat.

00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:32.319
Every no.

00:23:32.880 --> 00:23:33.279
Mm-mm.

00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:34.319
I have a house.

00:23:34.400 --> 00:23:36.079
Like, what else do I need?

00:23:36.319 --> 00:23:37.440
And now she gets it.

00:23:37.599 --> 00:23:43.279
She gets it, and she goes, Mom, sitting in a business class at ASU, you understand?

00:23:43.359 --> 00:23:48.160
Like, she went to the Turning Point USA um rallies that they had there at ASU.

00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:51.839
She went to see President Trump with me when he held the rally at ASU.

00:23:52.079 --> 00:23:57.200
She is all in the conservative movement now, which before she was a full-on feminist, and you don't have women's right.

00:23:57.359 --> 00:24:05.359
And I'm like, listen, the reason why kids go off to college is because they want to separate the children from the parents and the finance, the family dynamic and able to indoctrinate them.

00:24:05.839 --> 00:24:07.200
I will not play that game with you.

00:24:07.279 --> 00:24:08.480
You are not living on campus.

00:24:08.559 --> 00:24:09.680
You will come home every single night.

00:24:09.759 --> 00:24:11.119
You will understand the family structure.

00:24:11.279 --> 00:24:19.440
And she goes, the most liberal, crazy, wacky, can't even make sense place on the ASU campus is in ASU business school.

00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:23.279
These finance bros that think that they are gonna go and they act so stupid and ridiculous.

00:24:23.359 --> 00:24:24.480
And how many of them have dropped out?

00:24:24.559 --> 00:24:27.680
And I said, now you see exactly what I'm talking about.

00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:28.720
You're welcome.

00:24:28.880 --> 00:24:29.119
Yeah.

00:24:29.279 --> 00:24:30.480
And uh that's great.

00:24:30.640 --> 00:24:31.359
She hates that.

00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:32.880
She hates that I was right.

00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:35.759
And I'm like, just follow what I tell you to do, and you'll live a very comfortable life.

00:24:35.839 --> 00:24:38.000
Yeah, you can work a week out of the month and do whatever you want.

00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:38.880
Travel, I don't care.

00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:40.960
Be a patent lawyer, you can work anywhere in the world.

00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:41.359
Yeah.

00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:42.079
No problem.

00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:46.319
You know, so that's what I say to parents out there who are like, How do I do this?

00:24:46.400 --> 00:24:47.599
You know, with my child.

00:24:47.759 --> 00:24:48.720
Do not give them a choice.

00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:49.920
Yeah, they are dumb.

00:24:50.160 --> 00:24:52.799
18, 19, and 20 years old, they are so dumb.

00:24:53.039 --> 00:24:55.839
They don't have a clue what they're doing with their life.

00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:57.759
Stop giving them a choice.

00:24:58.400 --> 00:25:03.200
Like, I'm I'm exactly I don't play into the emotions and the mental health.

00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:05.279
You know, she played the card with me too.

00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:09.359
My mental health is so bad, my room is your mental health is bad because your room is a mess.

00:25:09.440 --> 00:25:09.759
Yeah.

00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:10.960
Go clean your room.

00:25:11.200 --> 00:25:14.720
Get up, comb your hair, brush your teeth every single day at the same time.

00:25:15.039 --> 00:25:15.759
Go for a walk.

00:25:15.839 --> 00:25:17.279
We live in a beautiful neighborhood.

00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:18.559
Go for a walk.

00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:21.680
Do not hit me with the sorry, I stayed up till 4 a.m.

00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:22.559
watching movies.

00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:23.359
My room is a mess.

00:25:23.519 --> 00:25:24.319
I ate like crap.

00:25:24.400 --> 00:25:25.279
I'm not taking it.

00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:26.240
You are a woman now.

00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:27.599
And now you feel like shit the next day.

00:25:27.759 --> 00:25:29.119
And now you feel like shit the next day.

00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:30.160
Go take care of yourself.

00:25:30.240 --> 00:25:30.400
Yeah.

00:25:30.559 --> 00:25:31.759
I don't I won't hit you with that.

00:25:31.920 --> 00:25:32.559
Don't do it.

00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:33.279
Don't do it.

00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:33.519
Yeah.

00:25:33.759 --> 00:25:36.079
So I think people think that I'm really harsh.

00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:37.920
You know, my mom is like, she's harsh.

00:25:38.079 --> 00:25:38.960
Being a woman is hard.

00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:39.519
And guess what?

00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:40.880
There are millions of other women out there.

00:25:41.039 --> 00:25:41.200
Yeah.

00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:45.599
Millions of other women who have hormones, who get their period, who can't get pregnant, who can't.

00:25:45.680 --> 00:25:49.519
That is the biggest mental health issue in our country right now is infertility.

00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:51.200
Hit me with something else.

00:25:51.279 --> 00:25:52.079
We can debate about it.

00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:53.359
We can argue about it all day long.

00:25:53.440 --> 00:26:03.599
But I the only people I feel bad for in this country with severe mental health problems are the people who cannot get pregnant because that is as a woman what your ability should be full and multiply.

00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:07.119
And that's devastating to a woman if she can't.

00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:07.680
But yeah.

00:26:07.839 --> 00:26:08.079
Yeah.

00:26:08.240 --> 00:26:08.400
Okay.

00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:10.319
That's why I'm saying I can't say this on TikTok.

00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:10.720
Yeah.

00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:11.039
Yeah.

00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:11.599
Immediately.

00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:12.799
You won't get that on TikTok.

00:26:13.119 --> 00:26:17.039
But yeah, moms, dads like, don't stop giving your kids a choice.

00:26:17.200 --> 00:26:20.720
I have a 14-year-old son, 12-year-old son, and a four-year-old son.

00:26:21.039 --> 00:26:23.680
And it's just this is what it is.

00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:25.039
You live in my house.

00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:26.480
You don't have a choice.

00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:32.160
Oh, that, you know, we don't we don't live in those times anymore, or their mental health.

00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:33.440
This is it.

00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:34.240
This is it.

00:26:34.400 --> 00:26:35.119
These are the rules.

00:26:35.200 --> 00:26:36.240
This is what you're going to do.

00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:38.240
And you will thank me in the end.

00:26:38.720 --> 00:26:39.359
That's it.

00:26:39.519 --> 00:26:39.920
That's it.

00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:41.200
My kids play club sports.

00:26:41.279 --> 00:26:42.880
My kids play sports year-round.

00:26:43.119 --> 00:26:44.480
There is, we do not get a break.

00:26:44.559 --> 00:26:45.920
We get two weeks in July.00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:52.319


What they can get from sports or a coordinated activity is not something I can teach them at home.00:26:53.039 --> 00:26:57.839


Discipline, responsibility, teamwork, team spirit, working with people you don't like.00:26:58.079 --> 00:27:06.240


You had children who are leaving at 18 years old, going into the workplace, getting into fights and having all of these problems because they've never done anything coordinated with people that they don't like.00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:09.440


Put me around people I don't like and I will show you that we can work together.00:27:10.720 --> 00:27:15.359


But and people are like, you spend so much time on the volleyball court and at the soccer field, and blah, blah.00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:16.720


And my kids will be disciplined.00:27:16.799 --> 00:27:16.960


Yeah.00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:18.400


My kids will be organized.00:27:18.559 --> 00:27:20.000


My kids will be respectful.00:27:20.480 --> 00:27:22.799


My kids will know how to enter the workforce.00:27:22.960 --> 00:27:25.759


But I guarantee you one thing, my kids will never work for anybody.00:27:27.119 --> 00:27:28.000


But they'll employ your kid.00:27:28.319 --> 00:27:30.079


Hustle till your haters ask if you're hiring.00:27:30.480 --> 00:27:31.279


That's my motto.00:27:32.160 --> 00:27:32.799


Love it.00:27:33.599 --> 00:27:34.559


Um, let's see.00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:39.440


Okay, have you lost any friends or like family because of the way you are?00:27:40.160 --> 00:27:41.359


Yeah, absolutely.00:27:41.759 --> 00:27:42.799


Absolutely my own sister.00:27:42.880 --> 00:27:44.400


I don't talk to my own sister anymore.00:27:44.640 --> 00:27:46.079


Um, and I'm okay with that.00:27:46.559 --> 00:27:47.279


I'm okay with that.00:27:47.519 --> 00:27:49.359


You know, you have to have some peace in your life.00:27:49.440 --> 00:27:53.680


The reality of the situation is your friends are who you choose, your family is not who you choose, right?00:27:54.079 --> 00:27:58.960


And um if anybody here's the thing, I'm not right 100% of the time.00:27:59.759 --> 00:28:01.599


I can definitely be insensitive.00:28:01.759 --> 00:28:03.839


The facts and the truth can be insensitive.00:28:04.799 --> 00:28:13.200


And I have to understand that this is the number one thing that I realized in life is your ability to change is your ability to succeed.00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:23.599


But when you realize how hard it is to change yourself, whether it be losing weight, getting up early, whether it be um being on time everywhere you go, you realize how hard it is to change other people.00:28:24.559 --> 00:28:35.839


So I don't I stopped looking at it years ago in an effort to try to change people and get them to believe the way that I want them to believe or the way that I believe is the truth, and I've just let them be.00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:37.599


And I'm okay with that distance.00:28:37.680 --> 00:28:37.920


Yeah.00:28:38.079 --> 00:28:43.680


You know, I think that it is insanely important that my marriage is surrounded by faith.00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:44.240


Yeah.00:28:44.880 --> 00:28:50.160


In my marriage, it goes God first, it goes my husband, me, and then my children.00:28:50.400 --> 00:28:56.480


And the gasps from people that are like, you don't put your kids first, absolutely not, and my kids know it.00:28:56.799 --> 00:29:02.799


My kids know you will not come to me and say, But dad, then you and blah, blah, blah.00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:04.640


Like, you will not try to pin us against each other.00:29:04.799 --> 00:29:07.599


Like me and your father will be on the same page.00:29:07.680 --> 00:29:07.920


Yeah.00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:11.680


And we are not perfect, but we will be on the same page and you will get over it.00:29:11.839 --> 00:29:19.839


Because I'll tell you what, one day at the end of my life, when I'm on my deathbed or he's on his, that man will not leave the hospital without me.00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:21.759


We will go on the same day.00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:24.079


And my kids are like, That's crazy, you would just leave us.00:29:24.160 --> 00:29:27.200


And my husband's like, dig the deep, deep, or did dig the hole deep.00:29:27.279 --> 00:29:27.920


We're going together.00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:29.839


And the kids are like, You would just leave us.00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:31.920


And he's like, We've done a good job with you guys.00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:32.160


Yeah.00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:34.640


You guys will take care of each other, you guys will be okay.00:29:34.799 --> 00:29:38.319


But those kids will go home at night to their families and to their children.00:29:38.480 --> 00:29:40.799


And we want them to find something strong like that as well, too.00:29:40.960 --> 00:29:41.119


Yeah.00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:49.039


But don't get me wrong, when I have grandkids, if I get grandkids, because my kids swear they're not having kids, but if I get grandkids, like that's where we'll be.00:29:49.200 --> 00:29:51.440


We will drive around the country following them.00:29:51.680 --> 00:29:54.559


But uh yeah, there's nothing stronger than what my marriage is.00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:55.839


Yeah, that's great.00:29:56.079 --> 00:29:57.039


Um, and same.00:29:57.200 --> 00:29:59.839


I have lost family, friends for for one.00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:45.119


like the social media and then two when you know they found out what what side and my husband were on they were like peace out for the best yeah do you miss them no is your life more peaceful absolutely so I love it doesn't I just have my my like closure left so if there's like anything else that you feel like needs to get out there please I don't know you know I think that it's just uh we're living in a different time right now and I think that it is foreign for people that they have not only women speaking up now but they have Hispanic women minority women speaking up that we are strong that we are powerful that we can lead the world in droves and I think that that scares people.00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:59.920


I think that that's terrifying to them that how could you possibly come from this background that you did and um and think the way that you do and uh you know I think honestly it's I I don't I don't battle with what my truth is and what my beliefs are.00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:03.440


I battle constantly with the outside world telling me that I'm wrong.00:31:04.240 --> 00:31:06.880


And that doesn't persuade my decision in any way.00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:09.119


It just makes me want to fight harder.00:31:09.279 --> 00:31:11.839


Yeah it fires me up even more.00:31:12.000 --> 00:31:12.240


Yeah.00:31:12.480 --> 00:31:17.839


So um I don't know it's a it's a different time.00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:19.359


It's a different time and I can feel it.00:31:19.440 --> 00:31:20.319


Yeah I can feel it.00:31:20.559 --> 00:31:32.960


It definitely is okay so if you're listening today and you feel like you're the only one that's still like holding on to your values just know you're not you know I feel like women need to speak up now more than ever.00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:39.359


Um I feel like that's super important and I really hope that you guys like this episode.00:31:39.519 --> 00:31:44.480


I will leave you guys Roxanne's social so you guys can go follow her.00:31:44.720 --> 00:31:45.759


Love it there.00:31:46.079 --> 00:31:50.240


Um and yeah anything else no I think that was great.00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:55.440


Okay well thank you guys for being with us and we'll see you next time.00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:56.240


Bye