WEBVTT
00:00:17.073 --> 00:00:21.795
hey guys, welcome back to real love, real life podcast.
00:00:21.795 --> 00:00:28.021
I'm your host, jasmine and I'm ernesto love real life podcast.
00:00:28.042 --> 00:00:29.245
I'm your host, jasmine, and I'm ernesto.
00:00:29.245 --> 00:00:29.626
I'm so excited.
00:00:29.626 --> 00:00:30.387
We almost didn't make it.
00:00:30.387 --> 00:00:32.091
Yeah, we were in traffic, it was just it was going all bad.
00:00:32.091 --> 00:00:37.027
But one thing, guys you have to be patient, even under certain circumstances.
00:00:37.027 --> 00:00:38.348
You just can't fold.
00:00:38.348 --> 00:00:47.924
You just gotta, you know, be positive and, first of all, make it here safely, because there's nothing that's worth, you know, not making it here, you know safe.
00:00:47.924 --> 00:00:49.628
So we're back, guys.
00:00:49.628 --> 00:00:55.987
You know we had a little minor setback, but you know it's sets it up for the major comeback.
00:00:55.987 --> 00:00:57.871
So we're glad to be back.
00:00:57.871 --> 00:00:58.893
We miss you guys.
00:00:58.993 --> 00:01:06.802
We've been thinking about you guys yeah, I agree, I was like looking at the time and I was like, if we don't make it, I'm going to be so sad.
00:01:06.802 --> 00:01:08.206
But I took a moment.
00:01:08.206 --> 00:01:09.890
I was almost getting mad at you.
00:01:09.890 --> 00:01:13.323
Not going to lie, I don't know if you could feel the tension.
00:01:13.323 --> 00:01:20.087
I was getting mad at you because you missed the GPS that was rerouting you and but I was like you know what.
00:01:20.748 --> 00:01:21.551
It's not worth it.
00:01:21.551 --> 00:01:30.594
Like it's not worth it, I took a deep breath and and I was like god if you want us to record this podcast, we're gonna get there on time that's what I was thinking.
00:01:30.655 --> 00:01:33.162
I was like friday at seven o'clock.
00:01:33.162 --> 00:01:46.275
It's your fault so I just I took a deep breath and talked to god about it and we got here on time and then it started moving and then, before you know, we got here on time, yeah, and then it started moving, and then, before you know it, we got here, took a tour of the place.
00:01:46.757 --> 00:01:47.058
Yeah.
00:01:47.197 --> 00:01:49.385
Great place and you know we're excited.
00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:53.186
Yeah, I'm so excited and I'm sorry for feeling like that about you.
00:01:53.647 --> 00:01:54.228
It's all good.
00:01:54.228 --> 00:01:55.090
It's always my fault.
00:01:55.781 --> 00:01:56.825
Yeah, it's always his fault.
00:01:56.825 --> 00:02:00.769
So we're talking about boundaries today.
00:02:00.769 --> 00:02:02.427
I feel like that's a topic.
00:02:02.427 --> 00:02:07.582
I today, I feel like that's a topic.
00:02:07.582 --> 00:02:07.884
Uh, I posted it.
00:02:07.884 --> 00:02:20.037
I posted about it, posted about it yesterday and a couple people were messaging me and they're like I think this is so important and I feel like in a hispanic household there is no boundaries.
00:02:20.037 --> 00:02:22.282
I don't know if you can agree, kind of like it is what it is.
00:02:22.302 --> 00:02:28.879
You know it's because like, don't even, like, don't know if you can agree it is what it is, it's because don't even trust your own intuition.
00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:33.699
You might have a creepy uncle and he's like oh, that's your creepy uncle, give him a hug.
00:02:33.699 --> 00:02:35.306
I don't want to give him a hug.
00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:58.747
He's going to hug me a little tighter than he should and I think when you talk about that, when you try to set those boundaries, you're like, you're dramatic you're the bad guy you're the problem and you're like these are my boundaries like and and I I love that we discovered that because we we discovered boundaries not that long ago.
00:02:58.747 --> 00:03:09.894
I feel like we were just always kind of like going with the flow and then once we discovered, like no, this is like people are just going like overboard.
00:03:09.894 --> 00:03:13.360
We learn where we're still learning how to set our boundaries.
00:03:13.580 --> 00:03:17.228
But, I love that, like our kids are also seeing that, so they.
00:03:18.900 --> 00:03:29.441
It's like you have to know your self-worth, but it's like you know, if your parents don't instill that, instill that in you, then it's like you're just kind of flowing through life, letting, especially if you have a big heart.
00:03:29.441 --> 00:03:34.872
People are just walking all over you and then it's just, everybody just steps on you.
00:03:34.872 --> 00:03:38.849
It's like the analogy of you're trying to build your house brick by brick.
00:03:38.849 --> 00:03:44.661
People are coming and taking your bricks because you're so nice handing them out yeah, everybody builds something for themselves.
00:03:44.661 --> 00:03:45.626
And you look back you don't have nothing to show for.
00:03:45.626 --> 00:03:46.133
Yeah, because you're so nice handing them out.
00:03:46.133 --> 00:03:46.770
Yeah, everybody builds something for themselves.
00:03:46.723 --> 00:03:47.274
And you look back you don't have nothing to show for.
00:03:47.274 --> 00:03:49.549
Yeah, because you didn't set one boundary, exactly.
00:03:49.549 --> 00:03:56.152
You're just like you know, be the bigger person or just be like you know what.
00:03:56.152 --> 00:03:57.905
I know my self-worth.
00:03:57.905 --> 00:03:59.264
I'm drawing the line.
00:03:59.264 --> 00:04:20.437
And that's where you tend to lose people is when you draw the line, yeah, and then people are like oh, all right, but it's like wait, were you, my friend, you may have the same blood running through your, through our body, but you just showed your cards, you know, it's like it just takes one, one moment for everything to fall apart and it's like it wasn't even worth it, you know.
00:04:20.857 --> 00:04:23.762
Yeah, you set your boundaries and then all of a sudden like you're, you're bad.
00:04:23.762 --> 00:04:27.247
Yeah, yeah, you set your boundaries and then all of a sudden like you're, you're bad like, or she's mean, she's mean.
00:04:27.706 --> 00:04:49.127
I feel like recently, like I've been setting boundaries with everyone and it's it's kind of hard to talk about, but I feel like I'm, you know, I want to like open up about it because I want, I want other people to learn how to set boundaries too.
00:04:49.127 --> 00:05:00.894
It doesn't matter with who, like I just had to set, like, one of my biggest boundaries and it was with my mom, um, and that's hard because again I go back to coming from a Hispanic household.
00:05:00.894 --> 00:05:03.946
How dare you, like she birthed you, or?
00:05:03.966 --> 00:05:04.507
something something.
00:05:04.547 --> 00:05:08.721
But it's like but is she like good for my mental health?
00:05:08.721 --> 00:05:23.244
Um, is she like going a little overboard, like once, once you're like taking my peace, it's not worth it it's not worth it, especially now that, like you know, I have you and we have the kids.
00:05:23.244 --> 00:05:26.661
Once you have your family, like that's your main priority.
00:05:26.701 --> 00:05:27.382
Yeah, that's like.
00:05:27.382 --> 00:05:36.151
I mean my, our, my parents live a mile down the street and it's like, you know, I'm grateful, like if you show up on a random tuesday.
00:05:36.151 --> 00:05:47.209
But it's like if we're like doing content on tuesday, like we're working, you know, yeah, we have the flexibility and the availability for you to pull up, like that.
00:05:47.209 --> 00:05:56.468
But it's like, do I have to get to the point where I don't answer the door, like because, like you know, you tell somebody, hey, we're working, they get offended by it Exactly.
00:05:56.639 --> 00:06:16.250
Or if it's like your friends there's one of your friends that they'll try to FaceTime you for three hours and it's like in three hours I could post eight videos, five videos on my TikTok, some making money off shops, some bringing in followers, viewers.
00:06:16.250 --> 00:06:21.093
Like those three hours I can be productive, even though I love you as a friend.
00:06:21.093 --> 00:06:26.237
It's like if I was at at a, I was, if I was at the construction site, fight a one.
00:06:26.237 --> 00:06:28.747
Like, yeah, are you going to bother me?
00:06:28.747 --> 00:06:32.906
Like how you would not bother me, but are you going to like call me and try to FaceTime me?
00:06:32.906 --> 00:06:34.370
Or it's like it's the same thing.
00:06:34.370 --> 00:06:35.391
You have to respect that.
00:06:35.552 --> 00:06:35.932
And see.
00:06:35.932 --> 00:06:50.922
So, speaking of this friend, that is no longer my friend.
00:06:50.922 --> 00:06:52.305
Um, lend somebody money, guys, you'll see who's a true friend.
00:06:52.305 --> 00:06:54.569
Lend somebody money and watch someone walk out of your life so fast, but okay.
00:06:54.569 --> 00:07:00.685
So I didn't set those boundaries when we first became friends, even if she was an inconvenience.
00:07:00.685 --> 00:07:06.680
It was almost like I'm in the middle of of content, um, but you know what she's calling me?
00:07:06.680 --> 00:07:07.822
Hey, like what's going on?
00:07:07.822 --> 00:07:08.966
You know, blah, blah.
00:07:08.966 --> 00:07:11.841
Oh, she's just bored, she's bored she wants to have a conversation.
00:07:11.860 --> 00:07:26.452
She just got out of work or she's driving home, so you know to pass time but then when I started getting really busy like to the point where I'm recording 10 12 videos a day I stopped answering.
00:07:26.452 --> 00:07:43.629
And then that's when she started getting like yeah really almost like annoyed, and then I almost felt like she would also do it like on purpose, like keep calling me, or if she would see that I would post something she would message me and I'd be like.
00:07:44.413 --> 00:07:49.327
So I, I know I've seen like memes and stuff of saying like people don't answer the phone but they'll be posting on social media.
00:07:49.327 --> 00:07:52.504
Well, yeah, but like it's my job yeah, like I have.
00:07:52.504 --> 00:07:59.904
I have to do it like that's my job, so she'd be like I just saw that you posted um, why don't you answer me or something?
00:07:59.904 --> 00:08:06.675
And I feel like when you don't set boundaries, you almost start like resenting.
00:08:06.675 --> 00:08:07.963
Is that how?
00:08:08.002 --> 00:08:08.886
you're resenting them.
00:08:08.946 --> 00:08:09.788
Resenting people.
00:08:09.908 --> 00:08:10.531
Or you get like that.
00:08:13.286 --> 00:08:23.033
I started getting this ick for her and it was almost like when I would see her name drop like on my phone, I'd be like like what is it now?
00:08:23.033 --> 00:08:23.694
Like what?
00:08:23.694 --> 00:08:25.807
Like why can't I just like have a moment?
00:08:26.048 --> 00:08:49.575
or it was almost like I would also like skip through, like her stories, like I didn't want her to see me seeing her stories so then I was like okay, this friendship started off really good but it also was like it was a I mean, she's cool and all that, but it was like it was she already kind of knew me, who knew who I was.
00:08:49.575 --> 00:08:51.960
So it's like we met this person.
00:08:51.960 --> 00:08:54.866
Nah, that's going to be too far, huh, exposed.
00:08:54.866 --> 00:08:59.227
Sorry, guys, can't tell the whole story like that.
00:09:00.681 --> 00:09:01.927
Yeah, let's not do that.
00:09:01.927 --> 00:09:03.745
But so the friendship started off good.
00:09:03.745 --> 00:09:04.067
We can say.
00:09:04.067 --> 00:09:05.433
But so the friendship started off good.
00:09:05.474 --> 00:09:08.206
We can say that the friendship started off good again.
00:09:08.206 --> 00:09:09.490
I didn't set my boundaries.
00:09:09.490 --> 00:09:14.525
Like us like we take our dinner time pretty serious, we sit together and stuff like that.
00:09:14.525 --> 00:09:16.529
Her not so much.
00:09:16.529 --> 00:09:33.365
You know she likes to facetime her friends or she doesn't sit down and have dinner with her husband, so but I do, so she, she would want to facetime me, like at dinnernertime, and I'm like I'm not, like I don't even answer, like my parents or my siblings, like when I'm having dinner, like what makes you think I'm going to answer you?
00:09:33.365 --> 00:09:37.342
Unless you're stranded on the side of the road, you should not be calling me at dinnertime.
00:09:38.323 --> 00:09:43.572
Yeah, and it's like you're my friend, you know how, like, my life is kind of structured.
00:09:43.572 --> 00:09:49.067
Yeah, you know, when I cook dinner, I mean you used to watch the dinner lives, so it's like you know I cook dinner.
00:09:49.067 --> 00:09:51.163
So it's like, how can you?
00:09:51.163 --> 00:10:00.591
I don't know, I guess nobody's going to have the same heart as you, so you can't be like, well, why ain't they doing this?
00:10:00.591 --> 00:10:02.427
Well, nobody has the same brain as you.
00:10:02.427 --> 00:10:10.328
You might be an analytical thinker, but they might just be like bloop, like thought call, instead of you.
00:10:10.328 --> 00:10:12.921
You just played it 10 times in your head.
00:10:13.282 --> 00:10:14.684
If I say this she's doing this.
00:10:14.684 --> 00:10:15.788
What if she's already doing that?
00:10:16.149 --> 00:10:25.552
then I'm you know so it's like exactly, but I, I think, like you know, to sum it up, I think that is why it is so important from the beginning.
00:10:25.753 --> 00:10:26.094
Yeah.
00:10:26.654 --> 00:10:31.860
I think that's where I messed up, because back then I didn't I didn't even know how to set those boundaries.
00:10:31.860 --> 00:10:36.759
Again, it wasn't a thing to set boundaries because, in a Hispanic household.
00:10:36.759 --> 00:10:38.203
We don't set boundaries.
00:10:38.203 --> 00:10:39.267
We just like you said.
00:10:39.267 --> 00:10:53.312
Remember I was telling you about how my mom used to get so mad at us when we wouldn't say hi to people, like at parties or something, and it's like I don't want to say hi to that person Like, or like we'd get home.
00:10:53.312 --> 00:10:55.307
Or she'd tell us, like wait until we get home.
00:10:55.648 --> 00:10:56.210
Yeah and like.
00:10:56.299 --> 00:10:57.706
And we'd be like dang it.
00:10:57.706 --> 00:11:01.230
Like you know, I'm going to hear it when I get home and stuff like that.
00:11:01.230 --> 00:11:22.264
All because it was like the little me or like my instincts like kind of wanted to set the boundaries, yeah, but then, like my parents, saw it as a like disrespect disrespectful, you know yeah, because I mean, if you're in public and your kids like disobedient in front of you, it's kind of embarrassing.
00:11:22.323 --> 00:11:29.691
But also as a parent it's like if your kid doesn't feel comfortable around somebody, somebody, why are you like putting them in that predicament?
00:11:29.691 --> 00:11:31.543
But also that's what's wrong.
00:11:31.543 --> 00:11:34.950
There's no boundary set, so it's like nobody.
00:11:34.950 --> 00:11:40.469
If people, if my kid tells me, hey, dad, I don't really like that person, I'm gonna be like why, what's wrong?
00:11:40.469 --> 00:11:55.068
And if they gave me like a answer that justifies with logic and reasoning, not just because you know you're being prejudiced or whatever, but like if you have a valid reason, it's like all right, you've got to respect them to a certain degree.
00:11:55.068 --> 00:11:59.971
But you know, if you don't rock with them like that it's all good.
00:11:59.971 --> 00:12:02.005
You know it's like I'm not going to force my kid to.
00:12:02.005 --> 00:12:03.129
You know, do that.
00:12:03.129 --> 00:12:10.178
Obviously you've got hit your child or beat your child later.
00:12:10.178 --> 00:12:21.875
That's you're creating like PTSD in your kids and it's like when you grow up and you have all this trauma and your parents were like it wasn't that bad, like yeah, it was.
00:12:21.955 --> 00:12:23.942
Yeah, like now, I'm crazy thanks.
00:12:24.174 --> 00:12:28.304
Now it's like, but you know also it's like every generation gets better.
00:12:28.304 --> 00:12:30.009
So it's like hopefully.
00:12:30.009 --> 00:12:32.549
But you know it's's like now with your kids.
00:12:32.549 --> 00:12:40.094
You want to kind of talk to them, but you don't want to be too easy on them too, cause then they'll start to walk all over you.
00:12:40.094 --> 00:12:42.326
So all back to setting boundaries.
00:12:42.668 --> 00:12:44.174
Exactly With everyone.
00:12:44.174 --> 00:12:45.035
I was actually.
00:12:45.035 --> 00:13:01.447
I was actually like watching the story time on Tik TOK and this woman was saying how she told her in-laws her in-laws wanted to buy a house and she said it has to be at least 30 miles away from us.
00:13:01.447 --> 00:13:11.423
And I guess, like months later, like her in-laws come back and they're like, oh, we're buying a house and it's 15 miles away from you guys.
00:13:12.215 --> 00:13:31.041
And so she comes on know, like on story time and and talks about this, how, um, her mother-in-law is like crossing the line like going over like her boundaries, and there was like a like a duet, like a stitch video or something from from a like a therapist, I think it was, and she was like that.
00:13:31.041 --> 00:13:32.104
That's not a boundary.
00:13:32.104 --> 00:13:35.393
A boundary is something that you can control.
00:13:35.734 --> 00:13:36.075
Yeah, yeah.
00:13:36.235 --> 00:13:39.225
So you were like giving her like a.
00:13:39.225 --> 00:13:50.366
A geographic boundary, yeah, or like an expectation or like a suggestion or something, but the mother-in-law came around and bought the house 15 miles from her.
00:13:50.366 --> 00:13:59.039
What you can do is say what you can do is say what you can do is say you can't come to our house unannounced during the week.
00:13:59.039 --> 00:14:01.706
That's a boundary, because that's something that you can.
00:14:01.706 --> 00:14:06.270
You can control that but so you have to know the difference.
00:14:06.270 --> 00:14:10.080
You have to know the difference between a boundary and I don't know like an.
00:14:10.100 --> 00:14:14.229
That's just like all right, can I not go to the same Walmart as you?
00:14:14.229 --> 00:14:17.205
Like there's one Best Buy on the west side.
00:14:17.205 --> 00:14:19.322
Like do I have to go to the north side?
00:14:19.322 --> 00:14:26.106
Like to please you, like you know it's like, or a boundary is don't call after 8.
00:14:26.106 --> 00:14:27.208
We're sleeping.
00:14:27.208 --> 00:14:28.499
We wake up at 4 or 5.
00:14:28.499 --> 00:14:31.258
You know that's a boundary, you know it's like.
00:14:31.258 --> 00:14:32.462
Like I don't know that's.
00:14:32.462 --> 00:14:37.780
Yeah, she's setting a 30 miles radius of you.
00:14:38.042 --> 00:14:52.149
Come on now yeah, well, I thought that was like funny that reminds me of the union hall, like, like, if so, to qualify for per diem, you have to be within the outside of I think what is it?
00:14:52.149 --> 00:14:55.341
45 miles, Something like that to receive the per diem?
00:14:55.341 --> 00:15:00.465
And it's like, if I'm one mile inside, does it make or break?
00:15:00.465 --> 00:15:01.508
Like I don't know.
00:15:01.508 --> 00:15:06.263
Setting a 30-mile radius like relax, that's a little excessive.
00:15:06.263 --> 00:15:09.384
That sounds something like a woman would do, though.
00:15:10.174 --> 00:15:14.721
Hey, I chose to buy our house one mile away from your parents.
00:15:15.260 --> 00:15:16.201
But you like the area.
00:15:16.783 --> 00:15:18.826
And I like your parents so.
00:15:19.405 --> 00:15:20.027
But she don't.
00:15:20.027 --> 00:15:21.428
So who's the problem?
00:15:21.428 --> 00:15:23.811
Her, no, I'm kidding, but nah.
00:15:24.235 --> 00:15:28.706
So again, like it goes towards the, you get resentment.
00:15:29.126 --> 00:15:29.727
Towards somebody.
00:15:29.855 --> 00:15:32.075
Or like an ick towards somebody.
00:15:32.075 --> 00:15:42.884
But I feel like if from the start you set your boundaries, yeah it then in the long run you know you have peace.
00:15:42.884 --> 00:15:47.717
You have peace or you have um for one like.
00:15:47.717 --> 00:15:52.268
I feel like self-love and self-worth again.
00:15:52.268 --> 00:15:55.575
I said because we didn't like no boundaries since we were little.
00:15:55.575 --> 00:16:03.506
I feel like that really hurt us growing up because then, we didn't know.
00:16:05.289 --> 00:16:25.056
You know, I I told you about like my whole story a few weeks ago, like you know what happened with, like, my mom's boyfriend and all of that and, um, because I didn't know about boundaries, it led to that.
00:16:25.056 --> 00:16:42.649
And then years later, two decades later, I'm sitting here like with all of this trauma, all because in our household it wasn't allowed to like say hey, I don't like this man, or hey, like you know, he's doing this to me, um, because then we would be.
00:16:44.072 --> 00:17:08.163
It just was, it's just not a thing yeah, I feel like that's what happens when, like, I mean you can back it up with statistics, but, like in single mother homes, I feel like stuff like that happens because a competent man is always going to kind of police to a certain degree, he is law and order to a certain degree.
00:17:08.163 --> 00:17:15.223
So it's like as a dad, you've got to have that parental instinct of like is this person a threat to my family?
00:17:15.223 --> 00:17:17.226
Is this person good for my family?
00:17:17.226 --> 00:17:20.130
Your mom was just working two jobs.
00:17:25.194 --> 00:17:27.580
I mean she was growing up with trauma and self-worth issues too.
00:17:27.580 --> 00:17:37.290
So when women just kind of like look for themselves in a man, they don't really care what their kids are doing, or feeling like look for themselves in a man, they don't really care what their kids are doing or feeling, so it's like she's too busy working and dating the dude yeah, to be like.
00:17:37.290 --> 00:17:43.365
Hey mom, this guy's a creep yeah she's like oh no, you're crazy or or you're lying, he's a good guy.
00:17:43.365 --> 00:17:45.076
Like no, he's not, the guy's a bum.
00:17:45.115 --> 00:17:51.065
Like yeah, and you know it again, she wasn't taught boundaries, so she didn't teach them to us.
00:17:51.065 --> 00:17:57.361
Because I feel like, even so, I was obviously a single mom before I met you.
00:17:58.061 --> 00:18:36.843
If my I get like the whole there has to be like a man, a man in in the household but, like if my son comes to me and tells me like he doesn't want to say hi to someone, or he or he doesn't feel comfortable with someone, I'm gonna be like red flag something's happening here yeah, it's like if your kids are like one kid wants to go spend the night at somebody's house and the other kid's like uh, and then as a parent you gotta kind of see a red flag yeah, I just, I just feel like that wasn't like a thing before, like boundaries just wasn't a thing.
00:18:36.883 --> 00:18:44.106
They didn't exist, and I think now that we have them, we've been so much happier.
00:18:44.468 --> 00:18:44.709
Yeah.
00:18:45.375 --> 00:18:48.645
The house has been like so much more like peaceful.
00:18:48.645 --> 00:18:55.444
I mean, we can go back to what two, three years ago, when I let, or we let, my brother move in?
00:18:55.444 --> 00:18:58.362
You had never even met the guy.
00:18:58.663 --> 00:18:58.762
No.
00:18:59.317 --> 00:19:00.355
He's coming from Mexico.
00:19:00.355 --> 00:19:10.656
Again, we don't know if he, what habits he has, like whatever, again, growing up in a household, don't say no If not you're the bad guy, ok.
00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:12.964
So he needs somewhere to stay.
00:19:12.964 --> 00:19:14.278
He just got here from Mexico.
00:19:14.278 --> 00:19:15.584
Come on in.
00:19:15.584 --> 00:19:17.461
I have three kids, but that's okay.
00:19:17.461 --> 00:19:31.980
And then immediately things start going downhill, smoking in the house and he's talking about us behind our backs Doing all of these things.
00:19:31.980 --> 00:19:32.957
Remember?
00:19:32.957 --> 00:19:46.239
It got to the point where, like every night, we would stay up in bed and like talk about how bad things were and in our own household we were, we had an ick in our.
00:19:46.239 --> 00:19:57.643
We were feeling like we were feeling all weird and like disrespected in our own household but we, we couldn't like, set boundaries.
00:19:58.305 --> 00:20:01.279
Well, eventually, like we did, that's where we went wrong.
00:20:01.375 --> 00:20:02.902
We didn't see you guys.
00:20:02.902 --> 00:20:09.484
If you're a homeowner, obviously the good Lord blesses you with a beautiful home.
00:20:09.484 --> 00:20:14.846
It's for it's an extension of his love for you to also pass a blessing to others.
00:20:14.846 --> 00:20:21.036
If somebody's going through hard time, it's your duty to help out, but don't let yourself get walked all over.
00:20:21.036 --> 00:20:21.817
You know it's like.
00:20:21.817 --> 00:20:24.001
You know we felt bad.
00:20:24.383 --> 00:20:26.428
You know, and everybody deserves an opportunity.
00:20:26.428 --> 00:20:34.924
You know kind of like a help in the world, but if it's at the detriment of your own family and your own, you know financial living.
00:20:34.924 --> 00:20:39.550
You know you don't owe it to anybody but your family to provide for them.
00:20:39.550 --> 00:20:41.882
He's just as her brother.
00:20:41.882 --> 00:20:42.584
God bless him.
00:20:42.584 --> 00:20:44.934
But that's not my responsibility.
00:20:44.934 --> 00:20:47.744
My kids and my wife are my responsibility.
00:20:47.744 --> 00:20:49.121
I'm going to help you out.
00:20:49.121 --> 00:20:50.875
I got him a job and everything.
00:20:50.875 --> 00:20:51.740
So it's like I'm doing my part to help you.
00:20:51.740 --> 00:20:52.925
But if you can't help yourself, like how can I help you out?
