Friends or Frenemies? Navigating Adult Relationships in the Age of Success

Friendship isn’t static—it evolves as we age, especially when success enters the picture. In a recent episode of the Real Love Real Life podcast, hosts Jasmine and Ernesto explored the complex world of adult friendships and the fine line between friends and frenemies.

Success as a Friendship Litmus Test

One of the clearest indicators of a frenemy? Their reaction to your success. True friends celebrate your wins without jealousy. Frenemies, on the other hand, often respond with backhanded compliments or distance themselves entirely. Jasmine and Ernesto shared personal stories of long-term friendships that dissolved once milestones like buying a home, having children, or growing a social media presence were achieved. Some people want you to succeed—just not beyond them.

The Social Media Factor

Social media has added a new layer to identifying frenemies. Jasmine pointed out that it’s now easier to spot those who are “too jealous to like your posts but too nosy to unfollow you.” These individuals consume your content without engagement, only resurfacing when they want something. The hosts gave examples of acquaintances appearing in DMs years later, seeking favors or exposure rather than genuine connection.

Longevity Doesn’t Equal Quality

A common misconception about friendship is that duration equals value. Jasmine recounted being excluded from a birthday celebration by someone she’d known since middle school. When confronted, the friend cited their long history as justification while simultaneously criticizing Jasmine’s social media success. This painful experience underscores an important truth: knowing someone for years doesn’t obligate you to maintain a relationship that has become toxic or one-sided.

Recognizing Genuine Friends

So, what makes a true friend? Ernesto emphasized: look for people who take initiative, show up consistently, and demonstrate authenticity even when there’s nothing to gain. Quality friendships are built on mutual respect, celebrating each other’s successes, and investing equally in the relationship. True friends are rare—when you find someone who consistently shows up, supports your growth, and appreciates you without conditions, that’s someone worth keeping.

Navigating Opposite-Gender Friendships

The episode also tackled a delicate topic: opposite-gender friendships in committed relationships. Both hosts shared cautionary tales of “just friends” turning into something more. While every couple must define their own boundaries, transparency and respect for a partner’s feelings are essential to maintaining trust and emotional safety.

Choosing Meaningful Connections

As we grow older, our circles naturally shrink—but they also become more meaningful. The hosts encouraged listeners to evaluate friendships not by duration, but by quality:

• Do these relationships add value or drain energy?

• Are people genuinely happy for your success or subtly undermining it?

Setting boundaries—and walking away when necessary—is a vital skill for emotional wellbeing and personal growth.