Thirteen Hours and the ADHD Mind with Simon Arnold

Welcome to Parenting That Kid. My name is Ashleigh Tolliver, as a mom of twins, one being a highly sensitive child who responds to the world in a non traditional and sometimes challenging way. I understand the desire to find the golden answer. Maybe there is no golden answer. But there are resources, tips and tricks we can all use to help us make this uniquely normal parenting journey a little more fun. This podcast is a roadmap to parenting that kid for myself and other parents. If recording my journey as I seek a clear starting point, community and effort to normalize what sometimes feels abnormal, supports at least one parent, then my time is not wasted. And hey, if it doesn't, well, there's documented proof that moms deserve a glass of wine. Cheers.

All right, Simon Arnold, thank you so much for joining me today and sharing about well about yourself what you are doing for the ADHD community of the world, and the educating and empowering and really supporting those type of brains, neurodiverse brains, and for sharing about your book that you wrote, because I want to talk about your book, as I just mentioned, you have an amazing angle into educating and empowering about ADHD. And I also want to talk about the educational side of being a student with ADHD and getting back into the that life or we're in some are still, you're probably in somewhere where you're located. So I would love to focus on that as well. And I think you have a lot to share with my listeners. So thank you so much for joining me.

You're welcome. Thank you very much for having me.

Yeah. Can you share a little about yourself and all of that so that we can my listeners can hear the authentic you?

Yeah, of course. So I'm Simon Arnold. And I guess I'm better known as the 13 hour life coach, really. I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2000, in December 2019. And I started writing some success strategies, because after my diagnosis, I had no one to go to. I tried to go to a therapist, and he sat there with his book on ADHD to compare to what I was saying was right with his book. And I was registering, registering my children with the new doctors in southern Germany. And the doctor came over to me and said, What are you doing? I said, I'm writing success strategies for adults with ADHD. And she said, that's fantastic. You should write a book, I'd be the first one to buy a copy right now. So I said the book could be in English. And she said, it doesn't matter. I've just got really boring books. And most of them are outdated here. And I just want to know, what ADHD is really like. And I was registering then with with dentists and two more doctors in the same week said, I want to book as well. So that's where it all started. Really. Wow, how cool.

I love that that somebody needed it as a resource. They were It's pretty thick. This needs to be out there. That's wonderful.

Yeah, definitely. And so I spent the next year and a half. So two hours every morning from four o'clock to six o'clock in the morning, roughly. Or a little bit, six o'clock to eight o'clock. Writing, yeah, 740 hours in total. So it is really a really comprehensive book.

And so, the book, okay, as I talked about this angle, I love it because you have big mug. And I want you to explain all of that. So people understand. Whoo, Big Mo is and what what that means and why 13 hours. I don't think I know for me, I just read the comment. I was like, Oh, wait, that's not even half a day. So what is 13 hours and you do beautiful job sharing that. So if you can explain that, and then maybe the chapters that we can dive into but

yeah, my book is called the 13 hour life coach, because I take medication for my ADHD. And of course, in one of your previous episodes, when you spoke with Annie Bush, I'm one of those people that when I try and concentrate, normally the blood flow from my preferred free prefrontal cortex flows away. And I have to take medication for the blood flow to go to the prefrontal cortex to allow me to concentrate. So I live in a completely different world now. I can think really for the first time and that's, that's like, every day it's all Christmases and all birthdays rolling, rolled into one. It's just the best thing ever. And yeah, I'm on my medication for 13 hours, I can concentrate for 13 hours. And that's really where it came from.

That's wonderful. That is that's wonderful. And you just started this as an adult like so. 2018 That was only a few years ago.

Yeah, it's it's coming up to three years now. I think slowly. Yeah. And I wrote the book. It was it's been a good success, actually. And I wanted them to reach more people and started the 13 hour life coach podcast. Hmm, season three is happening now everyone on all podcasts. I'm working on editing season four. And I've already got guests for season five.

Wow, great. Yay. That's just that just means more information is getting out there for the committee that needs to hear this. That's all Thank you. So you are I love that you have ADHD and writing about it. You're not a You're not a doctor who specializes in ADHD. Right? There's there's this medical side that we all hear about. And it's needed to know. But then there's the practical side and you are the practical side. Can you share about why you chose the chapters that you chose to focus on and each specific topic within that and how that relates to your life? And of course, you have children. So you've probably seen ADHD, maybe yours do not have ADHD, but you know about children with ADHD, and maybe how those correlate to their life a little bit. And then I really want to dive into the getting back into school. And because I know you do a topic for a section on.

Yeah, I just want to start with big Mo, because you've said, Who is what is Big Mo and everything? Well imagine, you know, I get up in the morning, and I have difficulty concentrating. And big Mo is really the 13 hour time that I have to concentrate. And biggest for the big is big and Mo is for the moments that I spent with him. Good. So I know it sounds strange, but children, they develop their inner voice between the ages of seven to nine. And I've never had an inner voice before. So I've lived my whole life with without an inner voice. You know, we know about the kids that jump over the fences without looking over the other side, see what's on the other side. I was one of those kids, and to come face to face with my inner voice 42 And to actually live my life as a whole person I find is just one of the best things ever.

Wow. So it's big, big Mo is your inner voice as well. That that your your inner voice coming alive.

Yeah. And I know it sounds strange, but it's amazing.

No, it doesn't. I mean, it does sound unique. But it's not strange, because you're making it real, right? You could just say, Oh, I got this, you know, for those of us who have that, it, it's just what we experienced. And we know, but you made it real for you. And now it is part of your life, your daily life. But you have to bring big bow to your daily life.

Yeah, I mean, of course with the with the blood flow to where it should be in the brain. You know, big Mo is really a lot of intuition. You know, reading a certain situation. If I got a question, then I'd be like, Well, what do you think I should do here? And it's kind of like just getting my mind going a little bit to try and just get some answers when I'm not thinking about it really. And it's a lovely feeling really. Oh, wanted to I can I go through the chapters a little bit? Yeah, please do it. Yes. All right. So chapter one is the life coach how Moe basically came around. And the first paragraph is this morning I woke up assignment. And within one hour, some other guy just turns up audits my life for 13 hours and disappears in the night.

That's okay. Oh,

yeah. Love it. And yeah, I mean, it's a lot to do with with ADHD, our outside world is very, very loud. And, yeah, I just find that mo takes it all away, to be honest. And it just leaves me with kind of peace and serenity to live my proper life. Really. Chapter Two is Big Mo, go into a little bit about that. Really. I didn't want to name him the voice. I couldn't say hello, the voice. I had to call him something. So that's that one. Chapter Three is a new working memory. Of course, if you don't have the gift of thinking, and then you do there is no one you can turn to to ask about it. It's like, Hey, I've got a new memory. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you can do this and do this. There's no one to talk to you about that. Yeah. Right. And in the perfect that goes into it. I go into it. Chapter Four is is the HUD I live in southern Germany. So there are a lot. I live at the top of the mountain so there's lots of huts and walking things and we just developed kind of a little relationship there a bit more. A different spin on changes chapter five. But I think what we what you really wanted me to discuss, sorry, was chapter eight, understanding the basics of a class based learning environment and learning with ADHD.

Yes, please. Yeah, I would like to just Got that. And I would wonder how that is prior to having been diagnosed medication, and how learning now you're not sitting in a traditional classroom anymore. You're always learning this is a world and we should always be learning and how that has shifted as an adult, who is now has the ability probably to do you so much more than you did as a child or, you know, young college age?

Yeah, I mean, certainly in the book, I, I think it's such a shame that, you know, if children go to occupational therapy, and they have the balls, and they have the pencils that are funny shaped or they're easier to hold, then this doesn't transfer into the classroom, you can't go into a classroom and see the balls there. And the pencils and the things that really help us the vibrant colors that we need to learn as well, is really what I've noticed recently, but in the book I start really was with whispering in the classroom for for one simple fact is the fact that we are, you know, whispering is loud and disruptive. And instead of concentrating on the teacher, we actually tend to concentrate on what other people were saying.

So if a student behind a child is whispering that has now pulled their focus that light versus towards the teacher,

that will always pull their focus away from the teacher. Yeah.

So is it a heightened sound almost like it's the teacher has become a white noise and that was for has become prominent in their mind?

Yeah, I mean, we just because it's on a, like a different frequency. With with it's on a different sound level, we try and actually try and follow this strange whispering sound and try and make sense of it. And then we won't listen to the teacher at all. It's really important to actually sit as close to the teacher as possible. So at the front of the class, so you don't have any one any heads that you have to look past. And then you have more chance of looking at the board and seeing everything that's displayed.

Right, right. Can you share other things about that distraction? Or is there more in your chapter about that this type of distraction? Because I feel like the classroom is probably full of so many distractions for somebody with ADHD?

Yeah, I mean, you know, sound is a big, big thing. Remember, I wrote in in chapter one that just the birds outside unmedicated are so loud, people say they can't hear themselves think and I couldn't, you know, and therefore, that is kind of a sense of whispering as well, you're trying to focus on, on some kind of noise going on. So that is from outside it. It comes in to us with ADHD? Wow. Okay. Like the heating that's on.

Right, right, right. Yeah. And but the medication has helped double that sound, as I'm trying to figure out how does that work? Now, once you're on medication? Is it almost that that sound does become quieter to what the other people feel like they're hearing? Or is it almost, that you can just remove your focus from that and change to something else, but it's still quite loud.

Okay, so, medicated, I went back, I went back to medical school when I was 40. I left medical school because I was in the process for ID for diagnosis. And when you are medicated as an adult, the whispering is still quite annoying, I would agree. But you can really actually, for the very first time, follow a sentence or follow a paragraph that someone is saying. I say a lot of the times that when I listened to Madonna on the radio, actually, I can actually listen to all the words she's been. She says in a row, rather than listening to the first one, the fourth word and the fifth word, because that's all my that's all I ever knew.

Okay, that's making me just think of having a conversation or maybe asking a question, you might seem like the child was not paying attention, but they're raising their hand as question because they only heard every fifth word or every second word, and they're not, it's not all tying together, which then pulls out a path that like you didn't listen, you don't know, you know, this just self doubt, that comes towards them.

That's why it's really bringing in a really unique situation. Actually, that probably kind of I think it's going to kind of blow your mind a little bit. It's just I don't I've never heard it ever before. So it's an I've written it in the book. It's basically I would be asking the question that would be relevant 10 minutes prior. So children in the classroom with ADHD that aren't diagnosed and don't take medication, for example, or just have ADHD? Yeah. If you say you're talking about mammals in the classroom or something, I would I would have half an answer to what is given. But it's not complete. It's really not complete, like I said, with the words, the first word, the third word, the fifth word, right. And if you're motivated to want to tie in, so 10 minutes later, right? So if you hear elephant, kangaroo, two more animals, and then dolfin, it if I was a child, 10 minutes later, I would say, I think that has something to do with the elephant, kangaroo dolfin. And then I wait for people or classmates to fill in the rest. And that's how I would get my information in total form without anyone realizing that I was having a problem with learning.

Wow, wow. So, I mean, you can almost mask in a sense that you're having trouble learning or bringing in the information. I mean, you learn, you could be smart as a whip, right? This has nothing to do with brains and intelligence. But you can walk around and mask how much you actually are absorbing into your brain or processing through it. Wow. Okay. That's, and that's in your book. I love that. I love that detail. As a parent, I love that detail. Because I want to understand how my child interprets the world or hears the instructions coming. And I know that the sounds are definitely a big thing for her. We all say that when we give her instructions, we cannot have anything else happening in our house. She interprets that when it's quiet. And that's it. But I never heard, you know, you kind of grab every couple of words. And so you have to piece together what's really being told to you and I love learning that so valuable. So what would you say? Are some amazing are amazing, but some great, I this is all amazing. You just blew my mind. So that's why I say amazing, because as a parent, I'm like, Oh, this is such good information. What would you say to the parent that whose whose child is about to go back into school? who maybe isn't diagnosed or is but who's not medicated yet they haven't reached that step of this for their child. And it's not said they won't some point, but right now school starting and they're not met? Do you have ideas or tips or words or ways they should speak with the teachers or even their own child?

Yeah, well, well, let's start you know, that we, the kids know, they're going back to school, they could be in a new classroom. So it's like when we when we fly abroad, and we stay in a hotel, the sounds are different, the room is different. We have to actually get used to the environment. And we know what it's like the first night, you don't sleep very well, because you need different things. And in a classroom environment, that's very much I think it takes a bit longer for people with ADHD just to settle, just to see where they are just to just feel the air. Is it warm? Is it cold? Is it you know what I mean? That taking the environment a little bit, what I find really, really good. And I've been doing this now for four weeks is that I bought that I bought barefoot shoes, which which are on the market these days, so I can actually feel the floor. So I can actually have the connection with the floor at all times. And that grounds me there actually physically grounds me there's no big rubber between my feet and the floor. Yes, we have to remember that the classroom is a competitive place. You know, we should never really forget that when I was when I was 40. They were I couldn't construct my answers properly. And 25 year olds were saying I think Simon was meant to say that. And that's really, really bad. Of course, it's very much it's embarrassing, even as an adult, and the book is from an adult's perspective. But of course, it's translate you can translate it into kids as well, because it's all very similar with got the same thing I try. I did really want to pick up with the fat and I did this is is the best that the most listened to podcast I've done is the very first episode on blackouts. So if you have a test coming up, funnily enough, the German version is more successful than the English version. But never mind because I can do my podcast in two languages. I believed when I wrote the book that it wasn't possible to have blackouts. Okay. And I think with Annie Bush and the blood flow here, I actually kind of actually came around to the same thing, in a way because I don't think our kids retain the information. Like I said we'd learn it in bits and then When an exam comes up, we actually cannot repeat that information back to the teacher. Otherwise, children with ADHD, they might go back a year, they may go back two years. We can't forget that either. You know, we know what I say we but it's kind of like, children allowance, we aren't very similar. Yeah. And it's a bit different when you're a kid. But if you can still try and learn from people that are younger than you, that's a really good tip.

Okay, I like that in younger children can learn from younger children. And they also take after a try to learn from the older, they have kind of this advantage of being surrounded by it all, because they're by so many ages in school.

Yeah, that's true.

Where I think as an adult, we just put ourselves in one group for, you know, we're 40 for hanging out a lot of 40 year olds and probably little kids. But that's kind of it. And so when you're younger, you have this variety around you that you can learn from. Yeah, there's a lot of emotional stuff that comes with that, though. I mean, not just Dhoni, taking an input and processing it and stuff. But missing every couple of words and having somebody have to tell you what are repeat what they think you are trying to say, going back a grade or your peers not seeing eye to eye with you, there's a lot I would assume a lot of emotional input that comes to a child or the interpret it one way I should say that's maybe not, maybe somebody isn't directly saying these words, but they're going to interpret it to them. And so I, the thing about going to school is you're putting your child out with a whole bunch of other children, you don't necessarily know their parents how they're raised, what they're going to say how they're going to act. And the emotional side of that can be really intense for an adult. And we might have like coping mechanisms that really aren't always healthy, that for a child that can be really heavy. And that's one thing about going back to school, new school and new classroom teachers any of that.

I just wanted to throw a quote in actually that I use from from Russell a Barkley who, who wrote a wonderful book called taking charge of adult ADHD. And I wrote, Dr. Russell Barkley says, You will no child but these lags make you less effective than other adults, and may make your peers treat you as if you are a child. So definitely, with children in the classroom, it is very much like, Oh, you don't know the answer anyway. And you kind of get left out.

Yeah, you get pushed aside? Yeah. You're not quite fitting in with everybody else. Are they more at school? So what would you say to a parent who's about to release their child out there? You know, is it do you have some advice for them as they drop their child off? I like the idea of getting to the classroom is so new, is it maybe seeing if you can go early or walk with your child to orient them to the classroom? Or their notes that you should be handing the teacher so that they know more about your child? How do you feel like the parent can set their child up for success for all of the that's about to come?

Different angle and creases, the dopamine levels within the within the mind? That's what Annie Bush said. And I've tried it out recently and actually really works. Okay. So, you know, and children, they're like adults, you know, they're either they want to eat in the morning, or they don't want to eat in the morning. You know, some children of course, are good in the morning, and some are bad or, and the other way around, really? I would. Certainly hydration is a really, really big thing. It's really underrated. But we all need to drink a lot, especially for the kids that take meds as well. That you want to go into that pit. Yeah, please. Yeah. All right. So you've got some meds for children. I'm not a doctor. By the way. This is just This is just what I've heard. You know, you've got the release for four hours, and then they have a break, and then you get a release for another four hours. And they don't want to eat that they don't want to eat anything. And they don't want to drink anything, either. So little snacks just in the break, just to boost those dopamine levels are great. And to hydrate is really important, really important as well. If I was a kid going back to school, that's perfect. You know, what would I do? I'd have a really nice weighted pen so that when I write I can actually feel that I'm connected with what I'm writing. Younger sick, who's on my podcast as well, who actually says that? If we write on the on paper, we can actually remember a lot more with ADA. Next day, so I would have very bright things there. Yeah, actually, I'll show you here. Yeah, they've actually got little dips within the pencils within the pencil. So I can actually feel that and there is left, there's an r and an L at the top here for right and left handed people as well. And also a pencil sharpener, because if we do sharpen our pencils, then we're actually doing something with our hands and actually concentrated more on the teacher. Ah, that's

so smart. Okay, hey, I love are these pencils. I just asked about that. Because it's such a unique pencil. And I know that they have right love scissors. I didn't even realize Pencils have that? Are they? Are they specific to working for the brain for each year as these for children who struggle to write in general?

Yeah, it's, it's called? What's it called in English? Oh, the fine. Because I speak in German all the time. It's, it's the fine motor skills. Basically, I do it so that I can have. So it makes meaning for me to touch the pencil. And there's so many things on the market, we can make it so much fun these days. And I think that's what we need to do. I think we need to take our kids down to the shop and say, What looks fun? What would you like to do any color, any kind of pencils, let's try it out. And not just by the school pack, right of pens and pencils, and all the boring things. Get unique. Get them involved. Make it exciting, because that all helps when it's a bit more bit more fun.

Right? Well, you get that dopamine this right? It's you're getting that? Yeah. And you mentioned earlier about occupational therapy, you're given all these tools while you're in occupational therapy. And then it doesn't transfer over into the classroom. And I remember my child got bright colors, these green and pink and neon things to slide onto her pencils for herself. And they gave them to her an occupational therapy. And then of course, food went to school and they weren't on there. And she they it just dissipated. And I thought, Well, if she's doing that over there, shouldn't we do that across the board of her life, and it just kind of all flooded away by her attentiveness was way more in occupational therapy than it was in the classroom. And now now you just kind of tie it all together for me. I mean, that just makes so much sense to me. And to make it fun, she loved him. I want this color and that size.

Yeah. And you know, I had a recent guest as well called Tiffany, Tiffany Geist. And she actually, she's got ADHD, and she's got some dice that she actually rolls. And I bought six dice. So I've got with maybe 13 and 14 sides on it, not a normal dice. You throw it and it's maybe 10 minutes or 20 minutes. And then, you know, if you've got homework, then it's like, throw the dice. Can I do the homework in eight minutes?

Oh, fine. You just made it a game. So fun. Yeah,

it's so good. The dopamine lights up and then and then it's like, it's not like we want to rush through it. We want to do a good job. But it's great. And if you get dice in different colors, it's kind of like what can we try today? And for you as a parent, you know, saying why don't we try this you know that your connection with your child is actually better and and they may be more successful with it and they certainly won't forget what you were doing.

Right? Right because that's unique. Yeah, wow, that's a great little tip. Okay, I want to get some dice now. Fun. My question would be to you as an adult you find that you have these tools that like you said, We're the same children and adults can do cool things with tools we might reshape them resize them but there do you find that you get too distracted on now on this tool that the other stuff around you you forget that you were supposed to also be doing this stuff so if you were rolling the dice Do you find that oh, I'm just gonna play a dice game all the sudden I forgot I was even doing homework kind of tool and now you need to retrain your brain you know the dice is this. Like you still have to do XYZ as a mom,

I know. I think it's in I think it's important to purchase something when you need it. Therefore the the items that you buy more high quality, you know, I have one pencil case with one with a pen in there that I love and a pencil that is great and a sharp And, of course, you know, and maybe a wooden ruler, you know, wood wood is always good. And it's natural, right? Rather than the plastic. Yeah. You don't need too many items, because we get distracted from clutter. Right? Right. And then and then it's really simple. And then you don't have hundreds of pens in your pencil case or at home. Right. And the things last longer.

Right says, Well, you've mentioned a few times about grounding. And I think that's so important, you just talked said a word roller, I think, the more natural, they're not everything has to be but the more natural items, the more grounded you are. And having your seat be a grounding feeling. When you sit down, you're now in your desk, or I love the idea of these, these shoes, I never thought about that, that's I have seen runners where she was like that were basically just running on their bare feet and, and they said, Oh, I just feel like I'm part of the earth. But I never thought of that for a child, or it even just something you need to use as a tool versus just trying to strengthen your feet or whatever they're doing for running. But my Wonder would be, then, when you're in the classroom, and you're asked to do something else, that's when I say this, that doesn't give you that opportunity to be grounded, do you find that you as an adult have learned to ground yourself, and that's something that we as parents should be working on with our child, like, here's a situation that maybe will be happening, you need to find the ability to put yourself in there to be more grounded? Or do you think that, um, that that's too in depth or too much for a child?

I think when you get into the depths of ADHD, I think I'm coming this at a completely different angle again. That's okay. Yeah, certainly, I feel so much more connected to nature than I ever have done to people. And, you know, if I was in a classroom, and I am sitting near a window, you know, ever since I was a small child, I always said to myself, if I can see blue sky, then I'm grounded from wherever I am, even on a cloudy day. And if there's a little bit of blue sky, that is my grounding, when my environment doesn't let me to ground myself. If that's, if that's okay, it's an answer.

That's perfect. Because that's, I mean, you found your tool, you found what works for you in that moment in time. And I think that's one of the challenges as a parent is to help your child find those because they don't necessarily know that quite yet. They might even be doing it and not even realize where they can't name, what they're doing or seeking. But those kinds of examples are are wonderful to hear. Because I think we as parents thinking cognitive, okay, I've noticed my child responds better when this is happening, or when they're seeing the blue sky. And now you innately will start putting your child towards the window or informing the teachers, you know, when you're setting up your room assignment, as you said earlier, the front row, because they need you right in front of me. And then if there's a window, could you put them by the window side,

I've got another idea actually, which I've done for years, I have gold cards, and they're really quite small I make I have a goal and cut it out. And basically pay set to go with some glue and everything. So I want to do a TED talk. And I've got the words Ted on on a on a card, and I actually have it in my pocket. And if you listen to Bob Proctor, which I'm a big fan of he says that every time where you know your card is in your pocket, if you if you touch that card, there's this kind of feeling that hey, this, this is exciting. This is what I want to do. This is brilliant, you know, no one's gonna notice, you know, it could be it could be a little toy for kids, it could be a marble, it could be a squeezy ball. It could be anything that they've got, that they've got an innate connection with. And that will always comfort them when when, when they need it.

Yeah, oh, that's so smart. Because that's giving you this natural feeling this dopamine feeling again, right? Like it's giving you that vitamin and that passion and that joy. And oh, and I've only mentioned children in school when things are really not working well for them that day. They have to seek that even more or they're really struggling to find that which is then what usually gets them quote unquote in trouble right because they're doing the things they're not supposed to. But having something a lump trinket a little something that brings them that joy, whether it's in their pocket or they've got it in their desk or whatever, you know, some little that's a really great tip and a wonderful tool that's should be pretty easy for anybody to figure out what their loved one because they've been spent time watching. Oh, they gravitate let's let's help them with that one. I love that idea. That's really wonderful. Can I ask you a question? And we're gonna talk about education, but you were talking about getting on medication and there, you know, parents, it's always a question, do we? Do we not? At what point do we put our child on medication and, and it sounds like you, you're just so clear from what life was like before to what life is like now. And I would never expect a child to be able to clearly share that with their parents. I mean, some might, but when they're little or young, you know, their words are just what they think it's not necessarily before and after kind of thing. Do you have any kind of words of encouragement or advice or just text or something for a parent who might be wondering, are the pros and the cons worth it? Or when do I know or? I don't know, I don't know. I don't know if I'm even asking the question correctly. I just wondered, because you have such a clear understanding of before and after. And that's a battle that parents struggle with a lot.

Well, first and foremost, a child has to enjoy their childhood. Right? Running kids want something we've moved from enjoy, you know, certainly if, if their grades are really slipping, you know, nine years old, 10 years old, they've got to have their childhood. You know, I think that's so important. And when you know, when it does get to the stage or when the parents opt for medication for the children. And the children are quiet. Please don't forget that. Like, am I book, the 13 hour life coach? The children are quiet because they've met them their version of love.

I love that. Yeah, yeah.

And if you meet your own version of Mo, and everything's quiet, and you've got clarity, and you've got the gift of thought, then this is this is a lot of the time what the children are actually enjoying. It's a real, the stress is gone. It's like taking a big deep breath. And from the outside, parents will see that their children are quiet and maybe think that, you know, they're different. Now. They are different from the parents point of view, but I don't think a child can tell you what I've just said to you as from an adult's point of view.

Well, yeah, that's and that's clear on a parent's side, if they know what they're going to experience and you just share that.

Yeah. I think that's I think that is what happens. Yeah, there's nothing. There's nothing bad about it. It's a relief. I don't think you realize the relief until you get to I'm 45 now, but there is kind of a relief, and it does help and medications are all different. They're all different. They really are all different. I mean, I wouldn't go into the different ones. But

yeah, you have to figure out what's working for your child to Yeah, just

try and see if that happens. And that Yeah, and that the child maybe just sit in front of the child and just think and think and you'll know you'll know if they're okay. And if they're quiet and okay, that's fine. That's all you need. That's all you need to know. Really.

That's great. I love that they're quiet they're okay. Because we are so used to the other that almost that there's this uncomfortable feeling or this fear when what we even know what we want to support them want to change there is this outcome we're like, oh my gosh, maybe there's nothing wrong, when in reality it could just be their brain calming and quieting and interpreting the world finally for them and experience how they need to or want to experience

you know and with with a different dosage as well. If it is too little, then you won't see much change if it's too much. Then you're gonna get different signals believe me you're gonna get I don't feel very good or I feel different than normal. I don't believe that if it's I can only speak for myself. Right? I think if you if you get it right. There's that there's that quietness. And definitely, definitely, definitely always speak to your children and ask them how they feel better because I know that there are some medications that don't work and you You'll be given the warning signs from your kids, that they're not working like.

You know? You do because you know your child. So you should you will be picking up on those observed notes. Do you think in the classroom, that's something that needs to be noted as they're heading off to school, and maybe that their teachers are aware that you're working on this? And maybe just so it's a support system beyond just your own self in your own four walls of your house?

Well, I mean, I've got to say, again, I'm not a doctor, I've just got ADHD, and I've written a book, right? You know, and do the podcast. That's it, just those things. But, you know, I know of one medication that kids kids take, it can work. But if the kids say at any point, I don't really want to go on and you grab all the meds and you go back to the doctor, you don't let them touch that ever again. It's medication at the end of the day. It does amazing thing for me. And it does an amazing thing for kids and revolutions our life and makes it a million times better than it ever could be that but we've got to be a little bit of where that we've got to get it right. Okay, that's always, always,

always Yeah, yeah, well, we're still like I said, we're about to start school here in the states within a week or two weeks. And I know parents are trying to figure out how do you support your child coming off, and we're in an exciting summer, which all children they're going to come back to school, and chaos always ensues. And I feel for every teacher, because it's so much to bring them back down and focus in. But I also know parents are trying to figure out how do we set my child up for success. And I think you have some tools that you just shared, I just love the idea of grounding your child, I never really thought deep grounding, I mean, maybe getting an orient into the classroom, but actually grounding your child in that classroom. And then finding the ways that they can ground themselves. And through observation, you know, you figured out looking at the sky, or being a blue sky is just really big for you. And that's such a great tool for parents to even just observe your child and see what grounds them and what brings them physically here. And then mimic to the best of your ability, of course, in the classroom, and then be on board as a teacher communication with that teacher. I mean, I think that you share that, like it's communication is just so important. And we have

to remember, I just want to pick up, pick up another thing, really. I did a podcast by myself for 30 forward years, I knew something was wrong or something. I've done something because I, at the age of eight, I knew that something was wrong. I was so little. Yeah, at the age of AI, and I will draw a picture every single day and you guys can listen to it. It's just amazing. And then a couple of years ago, I actually saw that picture in real life like one to one that I drew. And you know, Moe was like, it's all good. You've is taking 34 years, but I'm here now. And you know, you've got the clarity, and it's all good. And I'm sorry, it took so long. You know, so children do know that stuff's wrong. They do we know that something's wrong, and we just need some help, but sometimes we can't work it out. Right. You know, another another tip I talked about, like my morning routine and my evening routine, and it's probably better if for the kids if you do an evening routine. So for three years, I meditate in the morning and in the evening. And I use guided meditation. So children like interesting listening to a really nice story. And I'm not talking about Nursery Rhymes here. I'm just talking about a really nice, nice story with no gun rack just to just get their subconscious mind going before they go to bed. Because kids with ADHD to sleep, or find it more difficult to sleep than kids without ADHD.

Yeah, so getting their mindset ready for bed. Yeah, well and I can only imagine that your school day will be much better. If your sleep is better. We all work better with sleep with true solid sleep.

Like in the morning, in the morning if you spray orange bright spray around like an organic orange spray spray that will actually awaken the senses with the orange and might make you more energetic to go into your day.

Okay, well those are great tips. Okay, what else do you have? Those are great little tips and those are all things parents can can do. adults can even parents can do.

Yeah. And it's fun as well. You know, what's that smell? Yeah, it's kind of Yeah, it's fun. I have a, I have a bench in the, in the kitchen, which is curved, curved. So that when I sit down, I can actually run my hands along the curves before my medication kicks in, because my legs might wiggle around or my hands might want to move. And I have because it's word I have the nature there. But also the smoothness and the structure. Which, which is really nice. Yeah.

Wow, okay. This is what I love these I was gonna ask you, so what kind of tools and tips you know, you've got a mom, you've, you've covered. And that's what I need as a parent. And as my audience is a lot of parents that want, what can we do as our day progresses, and you said it really well like that the rhythm in the morning. And we are rhythmic beings, the world is a rhythmic world, right? This is it's very much how the world moves. And so to give our children that stability in the morning, and then wrapping up their day is a great idea. And you just gave some wonderful tips on how they can do that. I think my final my final question would be can you just share the remaining chapters of your book? Because it is your book feels like a storyline? In a sense, right? It's not just focusing on this one area, this one subject this one day, this one time, you kind of give this, you give an overview, and said I'd love my audience to hear the remaining chapters within your book. So they get an idea of this is a fully rounded book.

Yeah, it definitely is. I mean, Chapter Nine is about socializing. Yeah, chapter 10 is relationships. In chapter 11, I actually launched a meetup group for ADHD. And just talk about how that went. And that was quite interesting. Chapter 12 Is the mountainous adventure where there's four or five of us actually going on a mountainous adventure. And some, like, for example, touching the leaves. And then one of us as well, isn't touching the leaves like touch with and touch is so important for our lives and, and what we experience visually and touch and smells. And it's just wonderful. And there's, there's one little bit it's like, my child said, why do people try to express root everything? Like if you're going up a mountain? Why do you want to get to the top of the mountain at the top, because we're at the bottom, looking at the leaves and the stones and where the water comes from and not distraction, this post sucked. But we want to know, and we want to, we want this connection with the earth anyway. Chapter 13 How sporting environments bring out my best ideas. I would have to cycle 40 kilometers a day, before I would go to work. And now that I take medication, I don't need to cycle 40 kilometers a day. So that's really nice. That's where I got my all my ideas from when I was cycling. Right, right. Yeah, so when I went to work in fitness club and sport and ADHD as well, how are for I took medication, that sport completely changed from me one day to the next. And my strengths and weaknesses changed from one day to the next. It took me two years, two years to work out. What had changed

overnight, overnight.

From one day to the next I would I would love sport and then I couldn't do it.

Well, and you are writing so much.

And I was to write a 740 hours. You know, I think I checked every chapter about edited it about 50 times just to get it right. Chapter 16 is the dark side of ADHD and how to deal with it. So that's meditation, putting candles on at night. I go to bed at nine o'clock every night and or eight to nine o'clock every night. And then I get up at four and start my day. You know, I'm the 13 hour life coach. So if my medication kicks in at five o'clock in the morning, I'm going to six in the evening. I cannot afford to stay. I cannot afford to even have a lay in I can't lay in until 11 o'clock in the morning. And then I'm on till two o'clock in the next the next morning.

That makes 13 hours.

I've got only 13 hours. And I gotta make the most of it. Yeah, absolutely. And chapter seven team is really at the end of the day and that's and that's really like Let me just thank you mo for being there. Every day. When I wait, he's not there for the 13 hours. He's there. And then he's gone. And I just wanted, I know this, I'm coming at another angle here. That's fine. Absolutely, yeah, you've never really heard of before. But as I've got to know, people with ADHD, we actually have names for our own voices. And we actually connect with each other through our inner inner voice, before we even speak to each other. And that is another a couple of people and they've got certain names for their inner voice. And that's how we live. And it's, it's one of the most wonderful connections not just with ourselves, but with other people that are like us. And I couldn't think of anything better, to be honest, just such a wonderful life to live.

Oh, I love that. As a mother, I love hearing that because I look at my child. And I know she has that in her. And I also believe that she probably tries to hide things like that, because because it doesn't that as a young girl, it doesn't feel normal. But I love hearing that it is a wonderful thing.

Okay, ADHD people together, kids together, together. You can't, you can't really get it wrong.

Well, okay, so you're sure you've done amazing things your book shares so much. So how I have two things for you. One is what other resources to share about your podcasts, we have your book, but there are other resources that you suggest that people tap into. And then the other is I want to know how my guests can get a hold of you, and how they can reach out and be a part of what you're doing for this world.

All right, I'll start with the last one, first of all. So my book is really it is available the 13 hour life coaches available pretty much everywhere now. But definitely on lulu.com. It's, of course, it's a book and there are principles section. So just if you haven't got much time, read the principal sections and just try them out. Really, the podcast. Wow, it's crazy. I'm up to 45 episodes now. The first season is all about me and how I changed vulnerability at 100%. There is really nothing to me, if you listen to my podcast, you know, everything about me like 100%. And vulnerability is a sign of strength, of course and not weakness. And it just develops it's just adults have gone for a diagnosis because of my podcast. And you know, I've always said if I change if we can change one if one person then I've done my job really? Yeah. Okay. What are you asking me what I'm working on or developing? Or?

I'll take that too. But I'm so the you've got your book, which is in English, as well. Yeah. Because we're speaking about German. And your podcast I know as an English because like, we were just talking about one that I really enjoy that just was never crossed my mind before. Um, but so those are wonderful things. But yeah, what are you working on? And then how do our how do people get ahold of you? Or find you? Is it just social media email website?

So you can find me on Facebook, so it's in our life coach. I'm working on my second book. I've got actually three more books planned. Oh my gosh, okay. Because it is a constant development. And that's, that's what you can't really get with all the, with many books these days. It's an update and update. And that's why I do the podcast, and then I write the books, and then I'll revisit everything. I have got something I'm working on, and I will. It's going to come out soon. And then it's going to revolutionize ADHD.

So if they follow you on Facebook, that's all they'll get notification, please follow me on

Facebook. Okay. Within the next month, something's going to come out. That's absolutely going to revolutionize ADHD for everyone. And we really, really need so watch this space. Season Four, I'm doing a French version.

Okay, wonderful.

So the podcast is in German and English, of course, mostly, mostly English, but ongoing, going into French for once one episode for season four. Otherwise, yeah, I'm just continuously working on reaching more people with ADHD and just trying to make more people aware of what we're going through and I'm living a successful life with it really?

Write? Thank you. Yes, thank you for doing that for adults. And for that give me this information for kids and back to school because I feel like the earlier and younger we can start to help and support and focus, the easier their lives are going to be. And whatever parent wants the parent wants that for their child, I mean, no Chuck parent wants their child to struggle. And if that just means you educate yourself as a parent right now, before you go into work, the deep work with your child, that's a starting point. So I appreciate that you're out there sharing that knowledge and that information and resources for parents or adults. Really. Thank you.