Fast Five Shorts | A Dolly Musical Debut Lightning Round

Dolly Parton, Speak of the Devil, is holding an open casting call for her Broadway production about her life.

Chris, anyone.

I said anyone can audition, including for the role of Dolly herself.

If you were to audition, Chris, which.

I love this question.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

I think I'd go Islands in the Stream, actually.

And not nine to five.

I'd go island in the Stream, the gambler.

So I kind of man.

Yeah, I kind of man crush on Kenny.

I kind of man crush on Kenny Rogers.

And I've got the beard now.

I've got the theater background.

So.

So Dolly, give me a call.

I'm here.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Chris Walton is Kenny Rogers on Broadway.

I'm going to see it.

Forget.

I definitely wouldn't need a wig.

I got the beard, but I don't have the flow.

I don't have the flow.

We can be arranged.

Yeah, right, right.

Yeah.

In today's world, there's a lot of.

A lot of fake flow going on.

Oxford University Press named BR as the dictionary word of the year.

The phrase shot to popularity in 2024 with a 230% increase in frequency of use from the year prior.

And how much has brain rot upended your daily life?

Oh, my God.

Whatever the exact number of minutes is that I spend on social media, that's brain rot.

That's how much brain rot has impacted my life.

That many minutes.

Oh, yeah, but this is.

I think this is also the brain.

The, like the skibidi stuff and all that kind of stuff.

Like, has that infiltrated your house as well?

Yes, but I guess I don't equate that to brain rot.

I feel like that's just like the vernacular of the kids.

These kids these days, you know?

Oh, yeah, it's actually that.

It's actually the name that catches, like, all of that language as well.

So that's why I was wondering, like, how much it's impacted you because it has definitely thwarted the quality of life in the Walton household.

And.

Oh, my God.

Yes, my kids have been very disruptive using brain rot ish language at school.

And I've been talked to by the teachers many times about that usage.

So I was curious if it's impacted your.

I thought brain rot was, like.

When I think of brain rot, I think of, like, wasted time.

Like, what your brain is rotting from this, like, bad television or whatever.

Like some brain rot is related to language.

Okay, well, I'd have to rethink that one because I don't know the answer.

We have a lot of skibidi And I can't even think of the other words right now, but, yes, that's definitely happening in my house.

Yeah, like, there's just crazy words like Ohio and.

And Riz and Simp and.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, well, let's go to question number three.

Hopefully you know more about this one than I did about the last one.

Shabuzi just set a record for the most consecutive weeks with a number one hit song for Bar, so.

Which contains the lyrics, Pour me up another shot of whiskey.

You know, me and Jack Daniels got a history, Chris, if not Jack Daniels, which spirit do you have a history with?

Oh, I definitely don't.

I've definitely not poured myself a shot of Jack Daniels because I have a history with Jack Daniels and I can never go back.

In fact, I can't even smell Jack Daniels.

And.

No, really?

Why?

What happened?

Oh, God, do I want to tell this story?

Okay, so I was 18.

I went on a lake trip to Lake Nacimiento in California.

Went on a lake trip with some ASU guys that I had met that summer who are much older than me, all over.

21.

And we started.

We were out on the lake all day, and then went back to the lake house and started playing bumper pool.

And I was, like, out of my mind with bumper play.

And I was pulling off shots like no one would believe.

Yeah.

And I was.

And so.

And I was drinking more shots of Jack Dallas than anything.

And then.

And so there's a video.

Not even, like, Jack and Coke or anything?

No, just shots.

Shots.

And I'm, like, new to drinking, like, relatively three months into drinking.

And.

And there's a video of it.

I think I still have it.

It's, like, on vhs.

I think I still have it.

You just watch me just at one point, just fall over.

Like, I'm just flat out, like, I'm lucky I didn't have to go to the hospital.

And so the next morning, I wake up.

The next morning I wake up, everyone's.

Why were they videoing you?

Oh, we were all videoing everything.

You know, it's back with camcorders and stuff, you know?

And so the next morning, I wake up and everyone's asleep.

And I burge.

I bar.

I barge into the house.

I'm like, did I jump into the lake yesterday?

Was I so drunk?

Did I jumped into the lake?

And they're like, dude, no.

And I'm like, oh, right.

And so.

So let's just say I was washing mattresses the rest of the day.

So anyway, I cannot smell Jack Daniels anymore.

And so to answer your question, if I had to pour myself anything, it would be a shot of Don Julio.

That's my go to middle of the road tequila and.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

All right, let's get out of here before we.

Before this show goes any more off the rails, defunct restaurant chain Chichi's is piloting a comeback in 2025.

I actually have two questions for you on this, Anne.

First, when I say chichis, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?

And then second, fried ice.

Wow, really quick on that one.

Yeah.

Okay.

And then second, in the pantheon of chain restaurants, do you think Chi Chi's is over underrated or properly rated?

I haven't been there in so long, I feel like I'm not equipped to correctly answer this question.

What do you think?

Well, I see, I thought chichi.

I mean, I remember my first chichi's experience in like the 80s, and it was pretty baller.

Like, I thought it was pretty.

Pretty decent.

And you know, like all the, like TGI Fridays too.

Like all these chain restaurants that were one time awesome, they just get destroyed.

Yeah.

So I actually think Chichi's, when I think about all my chain restaurant experiences, is actually underrated.

Underrated?

Yeah.

Like Red Lobster, I would say properly rated, you know.

Oh, God.

But like overrated.

Yeah.

Or overrated properly to.

Overrated.

But Chi Chi's, I would say underrated.

TGI Friday is probably properly rated now, but I don't know.

But that's why.

That's why I think.

What do you think?

I mean, yeah, by 1980s standards, underrated for sure.

That place was amazing.

I love Chi Chi's.

Like, I always wanted to go.

I think I only got to go like twice.

And one was right for the fried ice cream that you always saw the, like, advertisements for on tv.

But yeah, I don't know.

I mean, I like their.

I buy their salsa today.

Like, they still have products on shelves that are.

Yeah, that's right.

So I think it's salsa.

I would try it out.

I would definitely go, why not?

Like, it's a.

It's a Mexican place that, you know, you get.

You know what you're going to get, I think, and then you'll be properly surprised if it's a good.

It's a great point.

It's a great point.

And I like the standard Mexican.

Good.

Standard Mexican.

Like, I like good.

There's too much fruity Mexican food right now.

Too much high end, expensive Mexican food.

Restaurant particularly in Minneapolis, too.

We don't have a good.

Just go to Mexican restaurant.

You haven't been to La Casita Central.

Yeah, yeah, we'll get you.

We'll find you some.

We got to do.

Right.

I have it.

Actually, I did find a good Mexican restaurant that's very, very authentic, too, and very affordable, which I'll have to tell you about, but I will keep that from our national audience here.