Unmasked: How Hiding My Truth Became a Physical and Mental Burden.

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Welcome to Not Alone with Melissa Methfin, a safe haven where we embrace our truth and break the silence surrounding our struggles. Here, we believe in the power of sharing our stories, fostering a loving community filled with hope, tools, and resources for healing. Together, we'll explore the journeys of those who have faced adversity, offering insights and support to ensure no one suffers alone. Join us as we shine a light on the path to healing, one authentic conversation at a time. Are you ready to have a safe place, a sacred corner where you can share your truth without judgment, without any fear, guilt, or shame? This is how powerful owning your truth can be. It will allow you to feel the utmost peace and freedom. Once I allowed myself to see my whole truth and use my voice, I found peace, happiness, joy, and my health, my mental health and physical health. Now I lived a life of suppression. And that suppression didn't allow me to see my truth. I created stories, these fictional stories, so I wouldn't see my truth. In my mind, I wanted to avoid it because you know why? It wasn't my path. It wasn't my dreams. And when I was seeing that dream crumble, I create a scenario in my mind that everything is okay. Everything was going the way I wanted, but it wasn't. That wasn't my truth. And now I reflect back going, why was it so hard for me to see my truth? And I still question it because I remember it so vividly, especially this moment where I was rocking my daughter. She was two weeks old in a rocking chair, and I was so happy to be a new mom. I felt an immense amount of love and I was joyful. But also in that very moment, my husband, all of a sudden, just tying his shoe, couldn't get back up. He was in bed for chronic back pain for a month. Not only was I now caring for this new baby, but I was also caring for my husband. I just had a C-section, but I was driving him an hour to his appointments. And I was seeing him being prescribed by two doctors different prescriptions for chronic back pain. He stayed in bed and he was in fear and panic, drinking with opioids for probably a good six weeks while I was holding this new baby and supposedly this joyful time in my life. I knew how bad it was for my husband, and I was compassionate. And I even called one of the doctors to alarm him that he was getting two prescriptions because I was seeing the effects of these opioids and drinking at the same time. I was seeing him go in this highs and lows of depression and the numbing and the fear and how it just captured him. But while I was rocking my new baby girl, I wanted to avoid it all. So I just kept thinking we're gonna be okay. We're gonna be fine and we're gonna get over this and create it. That's how powerful my mind was. I wanted to escape my reality, my reality that my husband was becoming addicted to these medications, which he had started early on in his career as a dentist, probably eight years prior to that, they had been introduced. But now it was, I could tell that he has lost control. He has fear, he felt an immense amount of pain, chronic pain, and it felt debilitating. And I felt for him because to have your back pain, that just seemed the worst kind of pain. You could break an arm, a leg, and at least you can still manage. But your back, his whole reality was falling apart. Being a dentist, owning a practice. There was so much fear. I can feel it. After probably six, seven weeks, he did go back to work slowly and had started physical therapy and had started to diminish taking some of his opioids. And there was light, there was hope. And I thought to myself, there, everything's better now. Everything's gonna be okay. And I realized throughout the years that I kept creating these stories in my mind when my husband would hide it in his own separate room. We slept in separate rooms. Gosh, I don't you know. Once that happened, once I had my baby girl, he would hide in there. And I just kept going like this is normal. We were that dream, that perfect family, that perfect smile. And we hid it so well behind our smile. And that's why my book is called The Truth Behind the Smiles. We were able to hide that because that was what we wanted the world to see. A successful dentist, I was a dental hygienist, and a boy and a girl, beautiful home, beautiful families, friends. Life from the outside was magical. People want were looking up to us and wanted to be us, but that wasn't the reality. And I've learned that suppressing that reality was starting to hurt me so much. Years I felt exhausted, losing hair, not wanting to do some of the things that I've used to love. And for me, suppressing that voice caused some gut issues. I had massive acid reflux for a while that I could only eat bone broth and crackers. Then I went into hormonal hypothyroidism. That's what I was diagnosed with. That's because I was not listening to my body. It was starting to speak. All those years of suppressing, my body was starting to speak. So this is why I'm so adamant to speak now in hopes to nudge you to start looking within. Your body will give you little signals and you don't want them to get louder. You really don't. So what are you hiding? What are you trying to mask? And I get it, it is so hard to see. And I don't know the perfect solution because I was scared as well to see what do I do with this brand new baby? Do I leave? How do I find accommodation? What should I do? Do I seek help? Do I get intervention? There are just so many questions. But sometimes we shouldn't wait for those questions to be answered. We know the right steps is to speak our truth and to take the step forward for a healthier you. Because if we don't, we keep suppressing, we start either numbing, like my husband did, with alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, you know, TV. There's so many things that you can numb with by not using our voice. So it is toxic, a toxic environment for us. So I'm nudging you right now to pause, to take some time to truly listen to your body. And where are you not being truthful? This is let this be a place where you can share your truth. I'm gonna have different people sharing their truth so you don't feel alone and know the resources that are out there. How to take that first step, how to find your truth. How I found mine was to actually start writing and seeking professional help. I found a wonderful psychologist. I've also found a play therapist for my children. I found shamans, breathwork facilitators. I have found reading, actually, reading so many books of people, how they got out of the dark, listening to podcasts saved me. And that was something that was free. There were so many wonderful resources of people sharing their truth and how they got out. So I started following a breathwork routine, prayer. I was already praying a lot every day. My faith has always been there, but it grew immensely because I knew how important that was to keep getting up, keep praying first thing in the morning, and be grateful and grateful for the people that I've hurt and that for all the pain that I've gone through. I had to send it love. Now, this wasn't easy, but this practice worked. And I'll share those with you. But I just want to introduce, just nudge, plant that seed of truth and the power of it. I've seen it in my life by writing my book, writing my whole truth. Was it accepted by everybody? No, because I don't expect that, because it might nudge them to see their truth. And that's hard. And I get that. I was that person. So I've never pushed anyone to see it, but I also just like to nudge so you can find it yourself and expand and grow. He'll be liberating, you'll feel more fulfilled, and to see your truth, you need to create space. Create space to pray, meditate, journal. Pick one. And it can all take five minutes a day and start with maybe a week, then add another week. It takes 30 days for anything to become a habit. Just practice one thing for 30 days and see the changes that you're feeling within. I will continue to share my story and other stories. This will be a sacred place, a sacred corner with no judgment, no shame, no fear, and just a lot of love. I don't want you to feel ever alone. And I want you to live, to choose to live, because I have seen miracles after miracles. And I can't wait to share all the stories that I've heard so far. And it just inspires me to keep sharing my voice and my passion. So stay tuned for more wonderful stories ahead. Thank you for joining me on this episode of Not Alone with Melissa Mathbin. Your time and attention mean the world to me. Remember, you are never alone in your journey. There is a community filled with support and love, ready to embrace you. I see you and you matter. Until next time, may you find peace and strength in the connections we share. Take care and be kind to yourself.