EP 37: Your Child’s Brain Needs a Break, Not a Fix

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Welcome to Not Alone with Melissa Sue Methman.

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I'm Melissa Zue, and today's episode is one that every parent and every future parent truly needs to hear.

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Let me ask you this.

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Do you ever wish you could go back to the day your first child was born and bring with you everything you know now?

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Think about it.

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I think about this all the time now.

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Wishing I could go back and do it all over again with the knowledge that I have now.

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Do you ever think, if only I had known then what I know today, I would have done things differently.

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Or maybe you're planning to have a baby and you wish you could start the next chapter with clarity, wisdom, a deeper understanding of how pregnancy, birth, and early development shape a child's entire nervous system and emotional world.

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What if just for a moment you could travel back in time and give your younger self the knowledge that would have changed everything?

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And what if you could give that gift right now to your current and future children?

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That is the heart of today's conversation.

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I am honored to be joined by Lucia Silver, the founder of the Brain Health Movement, a mother, educator, and pioneer who teaches the essential pieces that no one ever told us about childbirth, pregnancy, and child development, the things we didn't know that we needed to know.

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Lucia's work lens, functional neuroscience, primitive reflexes, gut brain health, detox, emotional safety, co-regulation, and deep spiritual wisdom.

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What she shares today brings together science, motherhood, and intuition, and the truth behind our children's behaviors, especially when they are dysregulated, overwhelmed, or struggling.

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Whether your kids are already grown, you're raising little ones, or you're preparing to bring a new life into this world, this episode will feel like the guide you always needed but never received.

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Lucia, welcome.

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I am so grateful you are here today.

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I feel I just I just feel today, this is like the most important episode I'm putting out there into the world.

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Because I feel this is so deeply how we align in synchronicity in what we want to bring out to the world for parents, parents to be.

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For me, it's share, I share everything about our family and my journey and my knowledge because I so wish I could go back with the tools that I have now.

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And um so I'm so just so grateful because you're in the UK.

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There's there's a seven-hour difference, and uh, you know, it gets a little tricky to schedule today, so I'm truly honored.

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Well, thank you for having me, Melissa.

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I'm so delighted to be here and had my little tissue sitting here because it's a cold winter's day in the UK, but your introduction was so moving.

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I've actually, it's already sopping wet with my tears because I think that sentiment that we carry, if we've been curious and bold enough to ask why our children might be struggling and really continue that effort, the first thing we feel is a little bit of guilt about what if we had done this earlier.

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But I will say loud and clear, better late than never, and we're here now, and we did ask why, and we are doing everything within our capacity, you and I, and the many parents who follow us, to do everything within our power for our precious children.

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So today onwards is the message, and let's find out as much as we can and do as much as we can and continue to be in service and ask why.

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Yes, yes, I love that.

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Well, I definitely there's so much that we need to share.

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So I'm actually gonna read my questions.

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Normally I don't now, but I there's just there's just so much.

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So, Lucia, could you share your personal journey?

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How your son's nervous system, dysregulation, and ticks led you to found found the brain health movement.

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Absolutely.

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Um, and I always say this, Melissa, because it's the truth.

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I didn't set out to create a movement or you know, the whole child healing course.

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I set out to save my child.

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Um, and when Quinn's symptoms started, it wasn't subtle, it was one severe and relentless tick where he would fully invert his body, flip his one leg behind him and his arms behind him, and it came out of nowhere, it seemed, and it shook me to the core.

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Um, and the truth is I was terrified.

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Um, I didn't sleep, I I worried constantly, um, I googled everything, I imagined every worse case future.

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Uh my mind lived five years ahead, picturing all the things he might struggle with, lose, or never get to experience.

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Um, and I think every parent knows that feeling if they've experienced any of the symptoms that we seem to be, our children seem to be plagued with within this epidemic at the moment.

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That the the the whatever, what you know, what if this never gets better?

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That spiral uh of fear and guilt and grief and panic and confusion all at once.

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Um, so I did what I guess terrified parents do.

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I went from specialist to specialist, um, and honestly, at times it felt like a full-time job of appointments, and I heard every dismissive phrase in the book from it's normal to he'll grow out of it to let's wait until it gets worse, um, until it gets worse, and then we can always medicate, which fell pretty flat for me because I've never taken medication in my life except once when I was hospitalized and it was beyond my control.

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Um, and so the idea of medicating my child was completely anathema to me.

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Um, and so with every appointment, my fear just grew, Melissa, not because of of necessarily because of Quinn's symptoms per se, but because nobody could tell me why.

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No one talked about development, no one talked about the nervous system, no one talked about the root cause.

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And I felt like I was screaming into the void.

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I kept thinking, why isn't anyone being curious?

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You can't give me medication if you can't explain what we're treating.

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What do you what's the medication for?

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And why am I the only one asking why?

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And that's when my research began.

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Um, not can not not not gentle, not casual research, but full-on 2 a.m.

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through the night, heart-racing, mother-on-a mission research.

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Um and and what I found changed our entire world.

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I I discovered that many symptoms that look like misbehavior or quirkiness or random struggles were actually signs that his brain and body were overwhelmed.

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Can you describe a few of those just so that the parents listening could be like, wow, like you mentioned the ticks, because I I know parents have mentioned ticks and and what else that absolutely so uh weak balance and coordination, poor posture, frustration, um poor eye tracking, which can show up as distractability, hyperactivity, um difficulty reading, um, looking unfocused.

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Uh for some children it's mouth breathing or shallow breathing, um, irritability, um, mood swings, meltdowns, um extensive deep fatigue.

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Um did he have any dietary uh where he was more picky eater or anything like that?

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Not for Quinn.

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Quinn's trajectory was quite specific because he does, it did eventuate has quite a specific condition.

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But certainly, um, I mean, as I tell you the story, you'll see how the kind of the symptoms started to present and unfold.

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Um, but because the tick was so invasive, Melissa, that meant that he was socially disengaged, he was embarrassed, he was his he was physically fatigued because of the the tick.

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It made it very difficult for him to make friends, it made it very difficult for him to concentrate.

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Um, and so um this really was clearly not random, was the point.

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It wasn't behavioral, it wasn't just how it is, it was biology speaking.

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Um, and suddenly I could hear what his body had been trying to tell me all along that something wasn't quite right with the foundations.

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Um, and so that's where we started.

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We started looking at foundations and we started looking at movement and balance and breathing and eye tracking.

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At that stage, we weren't looking at diet yet.

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We were looking at sort of trying to calm his system, lowering or rather activating some of the systems that weren't working properly and integrating something called primitive reflexes, which I'll come on to a little bit later, which is an area of the nervous system that needs to develop correctly in the correct order.

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But the changes that we saw from doing the work on those areas, he went from uncoordinated to coordinated, he went from withdrawn to engaged, he went from exhausted to energized, from overwhelmed to confident, anxious to joyful.

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I mean, there's so many struggling to with sport.

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You know, I used to throw a ball at him and he'd be like literally protecting himself from the ball, to the fastest runner, incredibly talented at football, um, you know, laughing and joining in and enjoying school.

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And I felt like I had my little boy back.

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Um as it happened in Quinn's case, what was really bubbling under the surface was a kind of second chapter waiting to happen.

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And this is some parents will relate to this if their children have an autoimmune condition, but in this case, it was the chapter that almost broke me.

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And this chapter was what really led to me five founding the brain health movement, and that was when we discovered that Quinn had a condition called PANS, which is now affecting.

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I mean, we know that it's one in nearly one in a hundred, but we now think it's an a lot more.

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Um, and if you're a parent who has lived this, you know that it's a dark and terrifying roller coaster, and what it looks like for those who know about it, and for those who maybe are looking at their child now and wondering what on earth has happened, um it you kind of a child moves from sort of thriving to suddenly severe anxiety, intrusive thoughts, OCD-like kind of rigid emotional explosions.

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Um, some children refuse food, as you've mentioned, uh Melissa, or have issues around food.

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We didn't have that in particular, but insomnia, um, sensory overwhelm, and ultimately, in Quinn's case, his first seizure.

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Um, and I can't describe what it feels like to watch your child have a seizure and not know whether they're gonna be okay.

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Um, the worry at that point became just bone deep, and the emotional load was relentless.

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Um, I felt like every cell in my body was just drenched in fear, and still the system was telling us there's nothing wrong with his brain.

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We've done a scam, we've done everything.

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Wait and see, you're overreacting, he'll grow out of it.

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And it was clear he wasn't gonna be growing out of anything.

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He was drowning.

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Um, so I went deeper into research, and by that point I was already, thank goodness, connected with some of the world-leading experts because I had started this kind of journey of research and outreach.

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And so the people who did understand the why ran some tests, and we found this kind of the last straw that had pushed his system over the edge, which in our case was mold.

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Um, and we built a full healing protocol for his nervous system, his immune system, his inflammation, his gut, his sleep, his breathing, his environment, his emotional safety, and yes, for me too, which I know is something that you want to go into.

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I just want to pause a little bit because you mentioned mold, because this is something we're still dealing with in our body.

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It's still present, even though we started detoxing.

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So, did you find mold like in your home or well, Western?

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I mean, the jury's out because mold is is unfortunately everywhere.

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Everywhere.

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That's how I feel about it.

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It's like inevitable, it's everywhere.

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So almost like you have to make your container, your body, so strong to be able to detox it on a regular basis, you know.

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I think that's true.

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And obviously, if there is mold directly in your bedrooms and in your home, you for sure you need to deal with it.

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But there is going to be an occurrence of it, particularly in the you know the UK, it's damp.

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And if you're living in old buildings, it's going to be fairly prevalent.

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Um, you know, Quinn happened to be traveling in a car um over one summer that had rather a lot of mold, so that was you know, that made it all the more intensive.

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And that doesn't mean it's a problem for everyone, but it's a pretty pernicious environmental problem, and it absolutely affects your neurology, your entire nervous system.

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Um so it's a very important thing to address.

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But um, you know, his the the added peace for me was really understanding that his healing also depended on my healing, and I guess you know that that piece was really needing for him to feel safe enough to begin the healing, the really deep healing journey meant that um I need to shift out of fight or flight into you know a calm, consistent safety.

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And as many of the parents listening now, the chief caregiver, mom at home, it's a very easy thing to say to a mom, you know, you need to be calm, you need to sort yourself out, you need to address all these protocols, and there are many.

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You're eating, you know, if if a child is sensitized already and is having these issues, it's a perfect storm.

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There's a lot of work to do in on this healing journey, it's not a quick fix magic pill.

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And so, in order to be in the right space, you've really got to start with yourself and fortify and bring yourself out of that fear state.

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Um, and it's really easily said when you're at home.

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Some mums might be like I am, a single mum at home with very little support, or other mums like yourself, you know, you've you've you've had a huge loss in your life, and you've got more than one kitty at home.

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Um, some mums I've spoken to, I spoke to another mum the other day who's got four children, and three of them have got something, two of them have got autism, one of them's got a sensory processing disorder.

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And you say to that mum, you know, we just need to sort you out first and calm you down, she'll tell you to go, you know, like when am I gonna do that?

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Yes, I don't I don't say it lightly, Melissa, because I think it's a huge adjustment for a mother to understand.

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It's not a nicety that you find some time for yourself to calm down.

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It is a necessity, not just for your own well-being, but it is the primary necessity for your child's recovery that you as a parent are healing.

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Yes, I always say it's like vital.

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Like think, you know, this is this is gonna change a whole uh dynamic of your family making that space.

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Because I know they're so overwhelming.

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Even even if I've I've sent a red light mask, I said, start with that or start with a prayer, it's so overwhelming that sometimes they won't even open that box, you know, because it's one more task.

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But maybe putting that urgency in that this this is vital for you, your health, because I know that was for me.

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I knew I couldn't live in that fight and flight for very long, or else that's how disease grows, and that's how you know my health.

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And I I I couldn't do that to my children where they'd lose another parent.

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So it was it was literally life or death to work on myself, you know, because I knew living in that fight and flight for so long, I uh other things would come up.

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I've already had lived that where chronic illness shows up uh in my body and living in that state.

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So I was already seeing those signs.

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And uh it was literally life and death.

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And I think for mothers, start seeing it that way, you know, for for long term.

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And you are number I would say the moms are are the heart of the family, they truly are.

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100%.

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And you know, we are biologically programmed to self-sacrifice.

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That's what we do.

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That's what in you look in nature, that's that's what's happening.

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But but as you say, once we understand the development of the nervous system, and we understand that our children cannot self-regulate that part of their brain, that part of their nervous system development isn't mature until their 20s, they need to borrow our nervous system to be able to come out of the sympathetic state, which is the fight or flight, and into the parasympathetic ventral vagal, which is the rest and digest, which is where the healing happens, which is where the emotional regulation happens, which is where the immune system finds its balance again.

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And so I really try and impress in long answer to your why did you, you know, found the brain health movement.

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I impressed the parents, you know, Quinn's condition is super severe.

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You know, in its worst cases, these children can be suicidal, they can be wheelchair-bound, they're pulled out of school, they're committed into psychiatric wards because of the inflammation in the brain that completely sends their behavior haywire.

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Um, and I'm I'm sitting here telling you now, Quinn had one flair.

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He's had, and God willing, I'll be saying the same in many years to come, one big flare.

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Children with pants can have ongoing flares, or can you know, uh, just one.

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It's enough, by the way.

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It sent absolutely sent me sideways.

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Um, but today he is thriving in school.

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He's sporty, he's social, he's confident, he's emotionally attuned, he loves his life.

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He and I are super close.

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Um, and that was when I realized that I cannot just walk away.

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I couldn't walk away, Melissa, with this knowledge, surrounded as I was by about another eight children in Quinn's classroom who I could see had similar, you know, neurodevelopmental challenges, dysregulation um conditions that were just their parents were just nowhere close to knowing.

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Some were diagnosed, some were not diagnosed, doesn't really matter whether you're diagnosed, it makes no difference because nobody gives you any help anyway as to the root causes.

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So, you know, I wanted to be able to say to patients, you're not imagining it, you're not overreacting, you're not failing, you're not alone.

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Um, right now, one in four children in every classroom is struggling.

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You know, ADHD is skyrocketing, autism diagnoses have exploded as you've absolutely shone the spotlight on in the States right now, with your the research that's been released.

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And childhood anxiety and depression are at record highs.

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Um, so conditions like Quinn's, pans, pandas were not even heard of in the UK, still not enough, but they're no longer rare chronic issues.

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And um, we need to understand why.

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It's everywhere.

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It's not it's not the odd case, is it?

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It's it's it it we see it everywhere.

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And behind every one of those struggling children is an overwhelmed parent who's exhausted, who's worried, who's dismissed, who's confused, who's full of guilt and self-doubt.

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Because there's no clear pathway that actually addresses the root cause.

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And so we have to face this, and that that is what really led me to stay put.

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You know, I was a fashion designer, and I have a hotel in Morocco, and I was doing all sorts of completely different things, but this is now my calling.

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This is, I really want to be in service, as I know you do, and amplify this message and empower parents to know it's not just that there's hope, there is science and scientific case studies.

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I'm seeing how I I mean I've been in countless clinics, I've seen the work, I've seen it with my own child, that it is possible to reverse the majority of these conditions that we are seeing and see our children thrive.

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I love that.

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Yeah, I love that.

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And I want them to know maybe from even what to, you know, explain it from the importance of the nervous system, even a mother when pregnant, you know, how it affects the baby, and from the type of childbirth, from C-section to, you know, vaginal birth, you know, what happens uh for the nervous system?

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Yes, I mean that there is so much that happens in vitro, there is so much that happens in conception.

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I mean, if we could, if we could begin the story or the education, as you said, wind back the clock in your introduction, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could speak to teenage women when they're thinking of conceiving, you know, the health of your body, the health of your gut microbiome, the health of your nervous system, how you consider delivering.

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That nowadays we're talking about birth.

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I just had it this morning.

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The electrician came.

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He said, No, no, we had a normal birth, who's describing the problems his son was having, which people always do when they find out what I do.

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And I was, he said, No, no, we had a normal birth.

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I said, What was your normal birth?

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He said, A c-section.

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I said, That's not a normal birth.

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Um, he said, Oh, well, we didn't have any problems.

00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:31.920
And I said, No, but there are many things that that it's not always the case, but it is more often than not the case that when a child is born via C-section, that what we call the perfect storm has already begun.

00:23:32.079 --> 00:23:52.880
The way that they're pulled out from that area, the gut microbiome and some of the goodies that they don't get, the passage, the birth canal passage means that some of these primitive reflexes, which are movement patterns that need to be inhibited in the first year of life, don't get inhibited because they haven't come through the birth canal.

00:23:53.119 --> 00:23:59.279
There are so many things that it sounds complicated, but it's actually more about understanding.

00:23:59.359 --> 00:24:25.759
If you go back and do it the way nature intended, not the arrogant way that human beings have come in and changed the way we deliver our children and flipped a woman on her back and introduced antibiotics and bright lights and interference and antibiotics and pulling by the most sensitive area of the brainstem and upper cervical, which is the beginnings of where brain development is happening.

00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:45.119
Um, I always say, if you think of it this way, and I think parents really get it when you visualize it this way: if you touched or handled a baby, the way that modern hospitals and obstetrics handle a baby anytime outside of the birthroom, you would be arrested.

00:24:45.759 --> 00:24:48.319
We manhandle these little people.

00:24:48.880 --> 00:24:53.680
Um, and in I know you had a you've had some interesting delivery stories.

00:24:53.759 --> 00:24:57.599
I've had, you know, with Quinn a hugely traumatic delivery story.

00:24:57.680 --> 00:25:02.160
And when I look back on it, I was just waved goodbye after two weeks of the tour of us been an intensive.

00:25:02.319 --> 00:25:09.359
Nobody over the two-week period I was in hospital ever said, here are some of the things we're going to need to address because this, this, and this happened.

00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:15.599
Or when we got home, when the health visitor came, it almost felt like she just kind of prodded Quinn and went, Oh, he's alive.

00:25:15.759 --> 00:25:16.880
Great, I'm off then.

00:25:17.119 --> 00:25:17.599
Really?

00:25:17.759 --> 00:25:18.319
That's it.

00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:27.759
And now I realize, my word, if you checked his primitive reflexes, if you check what was going on with his poop, if you check what we would have known a whole load more.

00:25:28.240 --> 00:25:35.920
And instead, the big farmer kind of process hijacks everything for us.

00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:47.039
You know, parents who you and I alike want a natural birth or a home birth or wanted beautiful water births or wanted to have something gentle and instead, thwack, bright lights.

00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:47.759
That didn't work.

00:25:47.920 --> 00:25:51.119
Let's induce, pull, push, von twos, forceps.

00:25:51.359 --> 00:25:53.200
Oh, we've kind of ruptured that.

00:25:53.279 --> 00:25:54.880
We're going to need some antibiotics.

00:25:55.039 --> 00:25:57.599
Oh, let's mess up the gut with the antibiotics.

00:25:57.680 --> 00:26:02.240
Oh, you'll need some more antibiotics to deal with the fact that the gut's now messed up.

00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:10.400
Then your child's into the perfect storm, which creates colic, which creates sleeplessness, which the child then doesn't latch on and breastfeed.

00:26:10.480 --> 00:26:18.160
So they miss out on that, which then creates ear infections, and and and and you're into what we call the perfect storm.

00:26:18.400 --> 00:26:31.359
And within that perfect storm, there are then interruptions to natural developments, and then we have missed milestones because we've got a lack of range of movement, which is necessary for the brain to develop.

00:26:31.519 --> 00:26:37.599
We've got a gut that's not pooping properly, so we're getting infections or miss imbalances in the gut.

00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:46.480
We're starting to get, you know, dysregulated and temper tantrums and rashes and an immune system that hasn't actually developed properly.

00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:52.640
And instead of the system fighting, sorry, instead of the system developing, it's fighting.

00:26:52.880 --> 00:27:00.160
It's fighting these imbalances, it's fighting that nature's natural course has not been followed.

00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:05.039
And so when we get a little bit further down the road and we're going, how come my kids not regulate?

00:27:05.279 --> 00:27:06.559
How come my kids not reading?

00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:12.000
It's kind of like expecting the lights to go on when the electrical wiring hasn't gone in yet.

00:27:12.079 --> 00:27:14.799
You've missed all the basic foundations.

00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:20.160
If they've missed crawling, or they crawled early, or they walked late, or they spoke late.

00:27:20.400 --> 00:27:26.400
These are all indications that the natural course of development has not been followed.

00:27:27.039 --> 00:27:37.359
And we see this often parents will go, oh, but the CDC now has relaxed the the if they know even the CDC's relaxed the the milestone.

00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:43.519
So oh, it doesn't matter if they don't crawl for another four or five months, it doesn't matter if they don't talk for another six, seven months.

00:27:43.680 --> 00:27:45.680
That's absolute BS.

00:27:46.079 --> 00:28:00.640
You wouldn't, when you have your your puppy and you take it to the vet, and if it wasn't, you know, popping at this age, walking at this age, barking at you the vet wouldn't go, oh don't worry, that's just individual.

00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:03.519
Your puppy will do it, you know, your puppy will do it in its own time.

00:28:03.599 --> 00:28:05.599
If it walks a year late, don't worry.

00:28:05.759 --> 00:28:16.720
You would you'd go, no, all puppy do this, and then they develop this way, and then it's exactly the same for brain development and nervous system development.

00:28:16.799 --> 00:28:25.680
There is a very beautifully God-created, nature-created course that we are supposed to be following.

00:28:25.759 --> 00:28:31.119
And when it goes off track, it is an indication that something is not okay.

00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:37.119
It's not an opportunity to make a new normal and go, oh, you know, six months later's absolutely fine.

00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:39.119
It's not, it's a red flag.

00:28:39.359 --> 00:28:40.559
It is a big red flag.

00:28:40.880 --> 00:28:55.440
So, and this is why what we're going to talk about today, these red flags, is giving the tools that I wish I had when my my kid, my son was colic for four months, when uh, you know, he was a late talker.

00:28:55.599 --> 00:29:05.359
There was, there was all the the outburst, the screaming, that you know, and now you know, I was thinking, how many mothers, oh, it's my milk.

00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:11.440
Maybe I changed my entire diet and this and but no, his microbiome and his nervous system was so tight.

00:29:11.519 --> 00:29:15.279
The tongue tie, that's one thing since I'm a dental hygienist.

00:29:15.680 --> 00:29:19.519
What I learned was actually a nervous system that's wound up.

00:29:20.319 --> 00:29:23.680
And that's why the the tongue tie is so tight.

00:29:24.240 --> 00:29:28.960
So you can avoid surgery just by losing and working on the nervous system.

00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:31.759
That was a huge aha moment because my son had tongue tied.

00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:34.160
He had so many of these signs that you talk about.

00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:43.599
And so we need to bring this awareness to know what to do for the mom that just gave birth to a child and seeing these signs.

00:29:43.920 --> 00:29:48.160
And and I think your brain health movement.

00:29:48.480 --> 00:29:54.000
I mean, you have a free masterclass right now for moms that they can log on.

00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:56.160
And I I watched it was so powerful.

00:29:56.240 --> 00:29:59.200
And for me, it was like, wow, I wish I would have had this.

00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:04.960
You know, instead of me being in the hospital, I'm just oh this is what you need to do now.

00:30:05.039 --> 00:30:23.519
This is and the shame if you wanted to say no to a flu vaccine for your baby, or you wanted to say no to a certain type of, you know, and but you're on medicated, you're exhausted, and there is this shame that comes if you like you're gonna hurt your baby if you don't do these things.

00:30:23.680 --> 00:30:27.039
And but bringing that awareness that what it can do.

00:30:27.200 --> 00:30:39.279
And um so this this is so so important and could be pivotal in someone like giving them the better chance for their child that I wish I would have as a baby for my kids.

00:30:39.599 --> 00:30:45.200
Yes, and we need this message to be stronger than the message which is, you know, you're not doing the right thing, just take the drugs.

00:30:45.279 --> 00:30:48.400
You know, that the cards are stacked against our kids in many ways.

00:30:48.480 --> 00:30:55.200
You know, we're raising them in a world, aren't we, Melissa, where big pharma promotes symptom management over root cause.

00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:57.200
And my son was prescribed.

00:30:57.359 --> 00:31:09.039
I remember asking, because I did a brain scan and and there was inflammation, and and and and I'm just like you, they knew I would probably stay say no, I'll try everything else before.

00:31:09.200 --> 00:31:10.799
And they prescribed two medications.

00:31:10.880 --> 00:31:14.480
What was this anti-seizure, and they had not diagnosed them anything.

00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:16.720
Uh, but they said, well, maybe this this other med.

00:31:17.279 --> 00:31:18.640
It's like, well, why?

00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:40.720
Like, why, why, you know, so I I'm like you, but get very, very curious and ask more and more and dig more questions and uh as to the why and how I I actually wrote this in my book that I'm editing right now, The Gut God Connection, is the whole birthing and what I wish I would have known, you know, are my experience in this knowledge.

00:31:40.880 --> 00:31:54.000
And um it's about turning it's about turning up the volume, isn't it, on the right on the right things and empowering mums to not feel like they are kind of raging against the system, but actually it's their right to ask these questions.

00:31:54.079 --> 00:32:15.119
And the problem we have, which we just touched on briefly, but while big pharma promotes symptom management and big tech is hijacking attention, sleep, and development, and then processed foods are selling these ultra-processed chemicals disguised as foods, these forces are shaping childhood almost more than teachers, parents, and communities.

00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:37.279
So, what we're trying to restore is actually something beautifully simple, but because in many ways it doesn't make the same money as pharmaceuticals and tech and and and and processed foods, it's a return to nature, it's calm co-regulation, it's simple whole foods rather than foods in plastics with lists of ingredients we don't even understand.

00:32:37.359 --> 00:33:08.079
It's less plastic, it's less packaging, it's less toxicity, it's connection instead of screens, and it's conversation instead of all the comparisons that we get on social media and performance anxiety, and it's a world that feels human again because we're not trying to create super kids, we're trying to give children the environment that their biology recognizes so that their brains and bodies can thrive and heal and their spirits can breathe.

00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:10.880
Um, you know, that's at the origin of this entire movement.

00:33:10.960 --> 00:33:22.240
It's actually stripping back, you know, everything else is just getting piled onto our kids, these huge stresses, this what we call the whole toxic load.

00:33:22.319 --> 00:33:31.119
And that's what we're trying to find a voice to change and empower parents to implement that change.

00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:32.720
Yeah, and how do you okay?

00:33:32.799 --> 00:33:38.000
So you have this mother that is so overwhelmed right now and wants how are you gonna empower her?

00:33:38.079 --> 00:33:51.519
Like just I for her right now, you would say just listen to your free masterclass and and and start there just kind of understanding the importance of her own, you know, probably nervous system.

00:33:51.920 --> 00:33:55.519
Like, how do you approach parents right now?

00:33:55.920 --> 00:34:22.000
Yes, I think I think you're right to use the word overwhelm because I think if there is one thing that defines more of the parents that approach us for help, whether it's our you know, our uh our one-to-one parent support sessions, our triaging them onto experts, or whether it is just I'm lost, I'm confused, I don't know where to start, they are at breaking point.

00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:37.519
Um, and so just a chance to understand that they're doing nothing wrong, a chance to understand that these often it's not about the stresses going away, it's about increasing your window of tolerance.

00:34:37.679 --> 00:34:59.360
And the masterclass, which is called From Burnout to Breakthrough, helps mama, and it is normally mama, I have to say, sometimes it's dad, sometimes it's grandparents, but predominantly it's mama, understand that that there's nothing that she's done that's wrong, but that the likelihood is that from where she is right now, she's containing for the entire family.

00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:25.599
She's exhausted, and her behavior is probably becoming quite unlike herself from crying or emotional, withdrawn, um, angry, you know, losing it suddenly when she thinks she's okay, not sleeping, you know, wired thinking and not able to sleep, even though she's exhausted, you know, luked thinking, repetitive behavior, just so many signs of burnout.

00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:32.000
That really to begin with, some very, very simple steps around taking care of herself.

00:35:32.159 --> 00:35:38.400
And yes, I would just jump on the free masterclass and just give yourself that, it's not even an hour.

00:35:38.639 --> 00:35:43.440
Give yourself that time to understand what is happening for you and breathe.

00:35:43.519 --> 00:35:49.599
You know, breath work is so fundamental, Melissa, and this is your heartland of what you do.

00:35:50.079 --> 00:35:53.360
Because it was the biggest gift I I learned myself.

00:35:53.519 --> 00:36:10.079
I knew this is what, you know, I still remember in that fight and flight where I thought I was having a heart attack, sharp pains in my heart, to not eating, not sleeping, and being guided just for 10 minutes with breath work in how it calmed.

00:36:10.239 --> 00:36:16.079
You know, I would say this your nervous system best friend, how I everything calmed down.

00:36:16.320 --> 00:36:22.480
I mean, everything came back up afterwards because I'm still so much happening days after my husband passed.

00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:28.000
But those 10 minutes made me realize how breath was so important.

00:36:28.239 --> 00:36:31.920
That tool and learning that tool was vital for my life.

00:36:32.079 --> 00:36:39.440
And the best thing, once I teach people how to do it, it's free and you have it with you anywhere you are.

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:40.639
So you can carry.

00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:44.320
You don't need an expensive machine, you know, you don't need anything else.

00:36:44.480 --> 00:36:47.679
But once you have that tool, and your kids will too, you know.

00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:54.719
Those are great ways you can connect with having these breath and and moments, you know, of connection.

00:36:55.119 --> 00:36:56.719
And you can't heal from panic.

00:36:57.440 --> 00:37:05.519
So, you know, a child has to feel safe to begin this journey, and their only way they're gonna feel safe is when home feels safe, and home is you.

00:37:05.840 --> 00:37:09.519
So it's inextricably um connected.

00:37:10.159 --> 00:37:10.880
Absolutely.

00:37:11.119 --> 00:37:14.880
And uh so now there's lots of things I didn't want to miss.

00:37:15.039 --> 00:37:17.599
So uh let's see here.

00:37:18.719 --> 00:37:25.679
How does the parent's nervous system, emotional state, and co-regulation capacity impact the child's nervous system and brain health?

00:37:26.159 --> 00:37:31.039
So you've said a calm regulated parent is a child's greatest teacher.

00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:56.719
So we touch base a little bit on that, but just how pivotal that is even from the first time the baby is born, you know, when you put it on your chest, that moment oh co-regulation, but what happens if you know the the mom or the parent is dysregulated, so then that child right now can't co-regulate properly.

00:37:58.000 --> 00:38:02.800
So they're both on a dysregulated state, so that's where it's so pivotal.

00:38:03.199 --> 00:38:14.880
Yes, it is, and again that that will land, you know, painfully for some parents because they've already had that process, they were already in that state, and you know, it's but it's not too late.

00:38:15.039 --> 00:38:32.639
The beautiful thing about neuroplasticity in our nervous system is it's ever evolving, ever changing, and so we can absolutely address a lot of the areas that have been or become um out of whack, you know, that are not where they need to be.

00:38:32.719 --> 00:38:33.519
They're out of sync.

00:38:33.599 --> 00:38:34.960
The system is out of sync.

00:38:35.119 --> 00:38:38.239
And um together with our children, we can heal.

00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:41.360
And I think that's you know, that that's really the important thing to remember.

00:38:41.760 --> 00:38:42.400
It's never too late.

00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:53.119
I mean, I I've started all this process with my kids, and I'm still learning, still learning which ones they gravitate for their nervous system, you know, uh, to work on every day.

00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:55.920
And this is a continuing thing, even for myself.

00:38:56.079 --> 00:39:04.559
Just last week, I was so overwhelmed, you know, when you're you're the solo provider, and then on top you have, you know, your business.

00:39:04.639 --> 00:39:11.760
And it I was feeling a lot of overwhelmed, and I could tell that shifts the whole family dynamic, and then I'm exhausted at night.

00:39:11.840 --> 00:39:20.159
And those storms still happen, you know, they still escalate, but at least I'm like, oh, I need to really make sure I do even more work.

00:39:20.239 --> 00:39:28.639
You know, even though I have these practices, when I'm in those overwhelmed states, I can observe it, reflect it, and say, okay, what works for me?

00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:40.239
You know, for me, it's breath work, spiritual practice, cold plunging, built a lot of stress resiliency that my body felt safe when there's a lot of stressors.

00:39:40.480 --> 00:39:42.960
It could be more calm when they kind of hit me.

00:39:43.280 --> 00:39:49.119
And even my daughter, after there was a couple of really hard days last week, she woke up one morning.

00:39:49.199 --> 00:39:54.320
I woke her up for school and she's like, Mom, no, I I I really need a reset day.

00:39:54.639 --> 00:40:00.960
You know, she knows that now, you know, where wood we will connect, we will spend time in nature.

00:40:01.119 --> 00:40:02.880
Nature is like our favorite, you know, grounding.

00:40:02.960 --> 00:40:03.840
My kids are always laughing.

00:40:04.000 --> 00:40:07.199
They're like, touch the tree, put your feet on the ground, you know.

00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:10.079
And uh those times are really important.

00:40:10.159 --> 00:40:18.639
But in I'm okay, I'm not advocating pulling kids out of school, but I I am having okay to have mental health days.

00:40:18.800 --> 00:40:20.800
We call it, you know, reset days.

00:40:20.880 --> 00:40:21.760
We really need it.

00:40:21.840 --> 00:40:31.360
It's not gonna be any use for me to put it back in a system where they're bombarded with a lot of deadlines, a lot of you know, nervous system dysregulation.

00:40:32.079 --> 00:40:36.159
Staying home might be the best thing, and we're gonna work on that and connect, you know.

00:40:36.800 --> 00:40:37.199
100%.

00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:43.119
And I think it's also to know that for those who are thinking, I'll never have a whole day, I can't do that, I've got to work.

00:40:43.280 --> 00:40:44.559
It doesn't have to be that.

00:40:44.639 --> 00:40:53.360
It's it's a dedicated, it can be a dedicated half an hour of really deep co-regulatory connection with your child a week.

00:40:53.599 --> 00:40:58.960
It's much more about how you are maintaining your energy in yourself in their presence.

00:40:59.119 --> 00:41:06.960
Um, and like a muscle, the more you you know do a repetitive exercise, the more the muscle becomes attuned to it.

00:41:07.039 --> 00:41:09.519
The same with the same with the brain and the nervous system.

00:41:09.760 --> 00:41:22.880
Each time you don't respond in that explosive way, and you're able to respond and use breath work and use various techniques that we teach to expand your window of tolerance, the next time becomes easy.

00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:34.079
And importantly, as well, um, which many of us have have heard talked about, but I love to repeat it to myself because I'm a sucker for self-punishment and telling myself I could have done better each time.

00:41:34.320 --> 00:41:50.719
But there is such deep value in repair after rupture because life is never ever going to be entirely smooth sailing, and nor should we teach our children that the only way through is to kind of not react because that's not human either.

00:41:51.039 --> 00:42:04.000
But where Quinn and I have found such enormous value and growth and strength and understanding is in the repair after the rupture.

00:42:04.079 --> 00:42:14.000
So I'm not I'm not advocating screaming at one another, I'm not advocating having dysregulated meltdowns where you're both on the floor in a pool of tears and you've said things you didn't want to say.

00:42:14.239 --> 00:42:19.920
But somewhere between zero and a hundred is a place where we don't always behave the best way we wanted to.

00:42:20.079 --> 00:42:31.840
And there is an opportunity there to sit with your child and be raw and honest and say, This is what was happening for me, and I'm I'm sorry that I didn't do better today.

00:42:32.079 --> 00:42:34.480
This is what I wanted to be able to say.

00:42:34.639 --> 00:42:36.559
This is what I want to be able to hear.

00:42:36.719 --> 00:42:40.880
I want you to tell me what you're feeling now that I'm calm and you make it safe.

00:42:41.119 --> 00:42:44.960
And Quinn has often said to me, Mummy, do you know?

00:42:45.119 --> 00:42:47.280
I used to really not like it when we had upsets.

00:42:47.360 --> 00:43:01.440
Now I don't mind so much because we have these incredible conversations afterwards, and we connect so deeply, and then they don't really happen so often after that because we had that opportunity to understand.

00:43:01.599 --> 00:43:12.159
So it's not about a bad word never said, it's not about never losing it, it's not about because it will happen, and that's okay.

00:43:12.239 --> 00:43:21.440
It's what you do about it afterwards, it's how you take responsibility for it, make it honest, make it vulnerable, and make it safe.

00:43:21.519 --> 00:43:27.519
You don't have to overshare with your children and tell them every teeny weenie reason of what happened in that afternoon that led to that.

00:43:27.679 --> 00:43:39.039
They don't need that, they just need you in your honest openness, and they need to feel heard and understood, and they need the opportunity to hear and understood that you're fully human too.

00:43:39.199 --> 00:43:43.119
Because in that space, we then no one wants a perfect parent.

00:43:43.199 --> 00:43:53.840
They want a parent who is loving and real and messes up sometimes and explains how and why, so they can mess up sometimes and know that they're still lovable.

00:43:54.159 --> 00:43:56.400
Yeah, and not feel as much guilt on their end.

00:43:56.480 --> 00:44:04.800
Because if we never apologize, then whenever they just think they're the bad ones, you know, and and you know, they we never do anything wrong.

00:44:04.960 --> 00:44:16.000
And then another thing that I've noticed is like really maybe even journaling or documenting, when those outbursts arise for yourself, okay, what led up to it?

00:44:16.159 --> 00:44:19.119
Like for me, it was I'm completely exhausted, I'm overwhelmed.

00:44:19.360 --> 00:44:23.440
I haven't made time for some me time, you know.

00:44:23.599 --> 00:44:24.559
I haven't made time.

00:44:24.639 --> 00:44:35.920
So I started seeing these patterns, and that's why I kind of put a premium on our sleep because, and or my um, okay, mom needs that window of time in the evening.

00:44:36.320 --> 00:44:40.719
You know, you go in your your room, your bed, eight, like it's so sacred for me.

00:44:40.880 --> 00:44:54.719
I need some downtime alone afterwards, you know, and um so sleep, sleep is huge, and in getting that quality of sleep, and I see it that in my children and not running them amo too, you know, and and nutrition.

00:44:55.119 --> 00:45:19.440
I know you kind of touch based a little bit uh about nutrition, but nutrition, I've seen, oh my gosh, just just a huge change removing dyes like uh red dyes and all the dyes, you know, and uh seed oils, like inflammatory things for my kids' behaviors as well, you know, not having these outbursts and oh it's massive, it's massive.

00:45:19.519 --> 00:45:22.400
I mean, that there isn't very much, I mean, particularly on our course, Mr.

00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:26.239
That we suggest for kids that we think mom shouldn't be doing too.

00:45:26.320 --> 00:45:28.639
The whole family for that matter needs to be doing.

00:45:28.719 --> 00:45:33.679
And yes, nutrition is massive, a clean environment, remove toxins, huge.

00:45:34.079 --> 00:45:45.920
Um, but I I've noticed for myself, um, you know, we're so fanatic, as you say, about getting our kids to sleep on time, and then we don't go to bed on time, we don't get the sleep, as you say.

00:45:46.000 --> 00:46:04.880
Or in the mornings I make Quinn the most incredibly nutritious breakfast, but I don't make any breakfast for myself because I'm so focused on getting him to school on time and getting high protein and beautiful homemade, you know, eggs and fruits and seeds and oils and you know, great stuff in for him.

00:46:05.039 --> 00:46:14.480
And then I'll take the dog for a walk after I drop him at school, and then I start work, and then it gets to about 11, and I haven't even drunk any water, let alone eaten anything.

00:46:15.199 --> 00:46:16.239
That sounds like my morning.

00:46:16.320 --> 00:46:21.519
I have not eaten yet because I'm too busy taking care of everybody else.

00:46:22.000 --> 00:46:23.360
Yeah, it's crazy.

00:46:23.440 --> 00:46:30.559
And I and I realize that, for example, when I make his smoothie, I just suddenly thought, what is my excuse?

00:46:30.800 --> 00:46:32.719
I could make a smoothie for two.

00:46:32.800 --> 00:46:34.079
It's not even more work.

00:46:34.400 --> 00:46:35.920
Just make the smoothie for two.

00:46:36.079 --> 00:46:36.719
What am I doing?

00:46:36.800 --> 00:46:41.360
You know, I'm pouring his, and then I think later on, all that would be really, really good for me.

00:46:41.519 --> 00:46:42.960
I oh now I can't be bothered now.

00:46:43.039 --> 00:46:43.840
I've got to chop all the fruit.

00:46:43.920 --> 00:46:45.119
Why don't I do it at the same time?

00:46:45.199 --> 00:46:54.400
So some of it is just being reminded to put yourself in the mix and do, you know, the same, the same stuff.

00:46:54.639 --> 00:46:55.760
Uh so yeah.

00:46:56.000 --> 00:46:59.599
You use whole child multidisciplinary roadmap.

00:46:59.679 --> 00:47:01.679
Can you unpack what that means?

00:47:02.079 --> 00:47:03.280
Yeah, of course.

00:47:03.519 --> 00:47:28.079
Um, so when I say whole child and multidisciplinary, what we mean is the brain health movement is there's no single magic pill, um, no single cause for why our children are are struggling with whether it's just to repeat again, it might be ADHD, it might be autism, it might be sensory overload, anxiety, meltdowns, ticks, tourette, allergies, um, autoimmune conditions, right?

00:47:28.239 --> 00:47:30.800
So it's always multifactorial.

00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:35.760
One child struggles perhaps with energy production because digestion is impaired.

00:47:36.000 --> 00:47:43.920
Another maybe isn't breathing well and spends their time, which most of these children do, by the way, in sympathetic overdrive, that's in fight or flight.

00:47:44.159 --> 00:47:48.239
Another may be stuck in an allergy loop with an autoimmune response.

00:47:48.559 --> 00:47:52.079
These are similar storms but different ships.

00:47:52.239 --> 00:47:56.000
So every child has their own biological fingerprint.

00:47:56.079 --> 00:48:00.079
Um, every plan needs to be unique, but the sequence must follow nature.

00:48:00.159 --> 00:48:13.440
And the sequence of our whole child healing course is really what parents is really what parents need is the best of the best handling each piece of the healing hierarchy and then working in unison.

00:48:13.840 --> 00:48:27.199
A lot of parents will be hearing about, oh, I need to do something about the gut, oh, I gotta do some movement integration, oh, I've got to do audio processing, oh, I've got to get rid of environmental toxins, or and they don't know where to start, they feel overwhelmed.

00:48:27.360 --> 00:48:32.800
There's different clinicians and specialists for different aspects of that healing.

00:48:33.039 --> 00:48:42.639
And up until this course came to life, I had never seen the whole child approached in one course, but also not done in the right order.

00:48:42.800 --> 00:49:06.239
You know, I've seen and taken brilliant practitioner courses, but it's siloed information, so narrowly specialized and deep diving into one area like gut and diet, or covering lots of things, but kind of contradictory opinions on symposiums where different doctors are saying to do different things, and it just leaves a parent overwhelmed.

00:49:06.320 --> 00:49:14.320
So, what was missing was the whole picture, all the stresses, all the systems, all the sequencing, clear, connected, and coordinated.

00:49:14.400 --> 00:49:18.800
Um, and so that's why we built the whole child healing roadmap in this way.

00:49:18.960 --> 00:49:19.679
Um, and Dr.

00:49:19.760 --> 00:49:32.480
Tony Ebel, who's one of our neurologically focused chiropractors, who really hones in on the birth trauma, which is where so much of this begins: the in vitro, in womb, paret prenatal stress, the delivery room.

00:49:32.639 --> 00:49:41.360
Um, he said that this is the only course he recommends, not because just the knowledge, but the order, because without a sequence, it's just more noise for an overwhelmed mum.

00:49:41.519 --> 00:49:50.880
Um, it's not just knowledge is power, it's it's it's it, you know, how do we clearly heal a dysregulated child while we're also making dinner?

00:49:51.039 --> 00:49:51.840
How do we do it?

00:49:51.920 --> 00:49:58.800
And and parents don't need more information, they need simple, immediate, effective actions in the right order.

00:49:58.880 --> 00:50:01.440
Um, and then this course has that in spades, Melissa.

00:50:01.679 --> 00:50:02.639
I agree, I agree.

00:50:02.800 --> 00:50:06.000
Like the simple step by step, they'll get them there.

00:50:06.239 --> 00:50:08.480
Yes, I think that is so needed.

00:50:08.639 --> 00:50:11.840
And uh I I I'm gonna take I'm taking your course.

00:50:11.920 --> 00:50:16.960
I'm starting it next week uh because I feel I I do want these next steps.

00:50:17.119 --> 00:50:31.760
And even though I I incorporate some of these, but there's I feel you really have that order properly laid out in all the specialists, you know, that really touches base on everything.

00:50:31.920 --> 00:50:38.000
Because then I have been started on all different avenues and no clear direction.

00:50:38.079 --> 00:50:43.760
I've seen so many different specialists, and like you said, the detox, I've done that, you know, and still doing that.

00:50:43.920 --> 00:50:52.159
And it seems like we still have mold in our bodies, we still uh have these kind of bacteria gut health issues, and it's you know, it takes a while to heal.

00:50:52.239 --> 00:50:56.079
So it'd be nice to see this step by step and not get overwhelmed.

00:50:56.559 --> 00:51:04.559
So many parents hear diagnosis labels like ADHD, ASD, OCD, takes anxiety, learning delays.

00:51:04.800 --> 00:51:12.079
You emphasize the symptoms are not random, they're intelligent signals, which I love.

00:51:12.480 --> 00:51:12.719
They are.

00:51:12.800 --> 00:51:15.440
I always say, you know, the little ways, they're signals.

00:51:16.000 --> 00:51:22.719
How do you encourage parents to shift from seeing what's wrong to what's happening and why?

00:51:23.119 --> 00:51:24.320
That's a great question.

00:51:24.480 --> 00:51:34.480
You know, I I think so often we come from why is my child behaving this way at the worst end of the spectrum, to chasing symptoms at the other end, like what can I do about the tick?

00:51:34.559 --> 00:51:36.159
What can I do about the meltdown?

00:51:36.239 --> 00:51:38.559
What can I do about the not sleeping?

00:51:38.800 --> 00:51:44.800
Um, and I think the first place to begin is by reminding them that, and me, I'm speaking to myself now.

00:51:44.880 --> 00:51:48.000
You know, children aren't giving us a hard time, they're having a hard time.

00:51:48.159 --> 00:51:49.760
They're having a hard time.

00:51:49.920 --> 00:51:55.760
Their behaviors are not random, as you've said, they are neurobiological, immunological messages.

00:51:55.840 --> 00:51:58.400
That's the immune system, the brain, and the biology.

00:51:58.559 --> 00:52:08.639
And when we shift from what's wrong with them to what is their biology trying to tell me, we stop firefighting and we and we start we start healing.

00:52:08.880 --> 00:52:13.199
So I think that's the kind of premise, and it's a huge mindset shift.

00:52:13.360 --> 00:52:24.880
In fact, it's a huge mindset shift when we look at life in general, you know, rather than looking at people who seem to be like impetuous or impatient or dregulated, that's a biology speaking.

00:52:25.039 --> 00:52:28.400
Nobody sets out to just behave badly in this life.

00:52:28.559 --> 00:52:29.519
I really believe that.

00:52:30.000 --> 00:52:30.880
I believe that too.

00:52:31.039 --> 00:52:31.760
I believe that too.

00:52:31.840 --> 00:52:33.280
So getting to that root cause.

00:52:33.440 --> 00:52:42.480
So, how does the parent's nervous system, emotional state, and co-regulation capacity impact the child's nervous system and brain health?

00:52:42.639 --> 00:52:44.559
Oh, I we've already asked this, never mind.

00:52:44.800 --> 00:52:45.119
Okay.

00:52:45.440 --> 00:52:48.559
Primitive reflexes appear central in your work.

00:52:48.719 --> 00:52:59.840
Could you explain what primitive reflexes are, why they why retained reflexes matter, and how we might spot them or address them in every day, everyday life.

00:53:00.239 --> 00:53:00.880
Yeah, sure.

00:53:00.960 --> 00:53:09.119
And I, you know, I want to make clear up front, Melissa, I'm not a I'm not a neurodevelopmental doctor, I'm not a neur um a functional neurologist.

00:53:09.199 --> 00:53:18.880
I am a mum who has been studying and working with things like primitive reflexes with my own child and shining the spotlight on them and seeing the results of what this is.

00:53:18.960 --> 00:53:21.119
And this really should be common vernacular.

00:53:21.280 --> 00:53:27.840
We should be talking about it like breast milk and birth delivery, and it should be part of our conversation.

00:53:28.000 --> 00:53:31.440
It sounds scary, like what the hell is primitive reflexes?

00:53:31.679 --> 00:53:36.800
But to put it very simple, they are our baby's original survival software.

00:53:36.960 --> 00:53:40.800
They are automatic movements that are wired into the brain.

00:53:40.960 --> 00:53:51.840
Um, and they are brilliant and active at birth, um, and they are there really to develop the nervous system because we are born with a with a brain that is not fully developed.

00:53:51.920 --> 00:53:57.199
It's it's it's there is 80% nearly of its development to happen outside of the womb.

00:53:57.440 --> 00:54:04.400
So there are certain reflexes and movements that we need to be making as a baby before our brain is even fully developed.

00:54:04.719 --> 00:54:10.000
So some of us might be able to picture a couple of them, like the rooting reflex.

00:54:10.079 --> 00:54:14.079
When you come near the mouth here, the little baby's mouth moves like this, right?

00:54:14.239 --> 00:54:19.840
That's not the brain, that's an automatic reflex to find the to find the teeth for breastfeeding, right?

00:54:20.159 --> 00:54:28.159
Um, and then the um the palmer reflex in the hand, when you do a little baby and you you stroke the little palm and they go like this.

00:54:28.320 --> 00:54:30.800
That's that's again a very automatic reaction.

00:54:30.960 --> 00:54:37.039
That's not the brain leading that, that's the you know, the early signs of this autonomic nervous system, the primitive reflex.

00:54:37.280 --> 00:54:43.519
When babies are startled, um, when there's noise in the room, or they drop, or suddenly they go like this.

00:54:43.599 --> 00:54:45.119
You can picture little babies doing that.

00:54:45.199 --> 00:54:46.800
That's the morrow reflex.

00:54:46.960 --> 00:54:57.039
So they're brilliant at birth and they're there for survival, but they're problematic if they don't integrate, they should all pretty much have been integrated after the first year of life.

00:54:57.280 --> 00:55:15.920
So, just to give you anecdotally some of the correlations that we see, if a child still has a retained startle reflex, which is essentially for when that lion came in the room, and you need to kind of you need an elevated heart rate, you need, you know, your morrow is there all through your life.

00:55:16.000 --> 00:55:22.639
It can come back for a moment, but it's there to increase your heart rate, get your cortisol up there and get you running.

00:55:22.719 --> 00:55:24.559
It's your survival mechanism.

00:55:24.719 --> 00:55:35.360
But if your moral reflex is retained and it's activating inappropriately, it is the equivalent of feeling like the lion's in the room the entire time.

00:55:35.519 --> 00:55:36.800
So, what does that look like?

00:55:36.960 --> 00:55:42.320
Well, it looks like constant stress, anxiety, poor sleep, sensory overload.

00:55:42.400 --> 00:55:46.079
You're in like the highest level of alert all the time.

00:55:46.400 --> 00:56:13.920
So that's one example of a primitive reflex if it hasn't been retained, which is often the case with our children because they're not moving as much, they're not getting as much stimulation, they're being put on screens as early as 18 months, they're being put in, they're they're swaddled, they're put in car seat carriers, in baby carriers, they're kept still, they're not grounding with nature and crawling around as they need to.

00:56:14.079 --> 00:56:19.039
So these primitive reflexes are integrated through movement largely.

00:56:19.199 --> 00:56:23.599
And if those movements aren't happening, those reflexes are retained.

00:56:23.840 --> 00:56:27.360
A couple of other reflexes, one is called ATNR.

00:56:27.840 --> 00:56:36.000
That one, if it's not integrated, it causes handwriting difficulties and poor eye tracking and reading struggles.

00:56:36.159 --> 00:56:49.920
And we see in the majority of cases when children are having difficulty sitting still in the classroom, having difficulty with scribbly handwriting, having difficulty with anxiety and so forth.

00:56:50.159 --> 00:56:58.079
When we test for those reflexes I've just cited, 90% of children have not integrated those reflexes.

00:56:58.159 --> 00:57:03.760
So that gives you an idea of how critical they are in the normal neurodevelopmental path.

00:57:04.000 --> 00:57:14.079
So once you integrate these reflexes and you improve the eye movements, um, you see reading improving, you see motor control improving.

00:57:14.320 --> 00:57:21.199
So that's what I mean by it's not behavioral, it's neurological, and it's profoundly fixable when you know what you're looking for.

00:57:27.519 --> 00:57:28.559
A hundred percent.

00:57:28.880 --> 00:57:30.400
Absolutely, absolutely.

00:57:30.639 --> 00:57:35.840
A lot of the learning disabilities are to do with two or three of the primitive reflexes being retained.

00:57:35.920 --> 00:57:38.079
So they're a wonderful barometer.

00:57:38.239 --> 00:57:47.440
They are not the problem, they are a barometer to show you that something's been missed in the orderly formation of you know, of development.

00:57:47.760 --> 00:57:48.239
So important.

00:57:48.320 --> 00:57:50.480
I remember thinking, you know, your mom's intuition.

00:57:50.559 --> 00:57:52.480
I always say, always trust your mom's intuition.

00:57:52.639 --> 00:57:57.760
Well, I had these specialists come to our home, actually, my son was three, to just kind of test them.

00:57:58.000 --> 00:58:01.039
I just knew something was off, but I couldn't pinpoint it.

00:58:01.119 --> 00:58:04.400
So I said, Well, I'm gonna hire people and they come observe him.

00:58:04.480 --> 00:58:09.519
And but nothing, nothing is ever talked about the nervous system.

00:58:09.679 --> 00:58:12.639
So this is I'm so happy to have you on here.

00:58:12.960 --> 00:58:19.760
And um, so to move on to the like another question now, because I really don't want to miss anything.

00:58:20.159 --> 00:58:25.280
In your work, you emphasize drug-free root cause strategies.

00:58:26.000 --> 00:58:31.760
In a culture increasingly looks to medication or neurodevelopmental challenges.

00:58:31.920 --> 00:58:35.679
How do you support parents being stuck or pressured?

00:58:36.159 --> 00:58:39.760
Education, understanding why medication is not the only way.

00:58:39.920 --> 00:58:49.199
You know, there is a time and a place, but um our modern medicine uh is allopathic, which means that our our doctors are trained to operate or medicate.

00:58:49.360 --> 00:59:24.239
Our doctors are not trained to look at the root cause, that's functional medicine, which it always you know completely breaks my brain that we have functional medicine, which is awe-inspiringly complex, and these doctors study for years and they understand testing and they understand the interrelationship between organs and systems and so on, and they've kind of been relegated to this sort of inferior medical system, whereas the mainstream medicine, which is simply dealing with symptom presentation, is kind of put at the highest level within the hierarchy.

00:59:24.559 --> 00:59:32.239
So when you start to educate yourself, you can start asking your doctors the right questions and advocating for your child.

00:59:32.400 --> 00:59:39.039
I'm not saying that there is never a place for medication, it can save lives, but it is not the long-term solution.

00:59:39.280 --> 00:59:41.199
The body knows best.

00:59:41.360 --> 00:59:55.920
The body will, once it is given what it needs, or once those things that are impeding its correct uh operation, we call it homeostasis, when it when it returns to balance, it knows what it needs to do.

00:59:56.239 --> 00:59:58.000
So that's what we need to understand.

00:59:58.400 --> 00:59:59.119
That's beautiful.

00:59:59.199 --> 01:00:01.199
I that That's how I feel.01:00:01.280 --> 01:00:13.440


And I may be rooted back to how my mom taught me to just go back to simplicity, you know, to root cause, to using what's here, you know, nutrition and some supplementation.01:00:13.599 --> 01:00:16.960


But even then, it's just an adjunction.01:00:17.039 --> 01:00:22.400


But we really have to look within our nervous system to the root cause.01:00:22.559 --> 01:00:33.280


So, given our focus on children's emotional healing, what role does fear versus trust play in brain health and behavioral expression?01:00:33.519 --> 01:00:37.199


Well, fear keeps the nervous system in survival mode, and we've touched on this already.01:00:37.280 --> 01:00:39.440


And I think that's that's the simple bottom line.01:00:39.599 --> 01:00:41.360


Trust allows it to stand down.01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:52.960


Um, and we build trust through predictable rhythms, through emotional honesty, through uh co-regulation and breathing and repair and safe connection.01:00:53.119 --> 01:01:04.159


And when we shift from controlling behavior to understanding biology, we create a home where learning and healing can actually happen.01:01:04.239 --> 01:01:07.440


And I I think it is as simple, I honestly think it's as simple as that.01:01:07.599 --> 01:01:11.360


It's not simple, it's profound, but it's not it's not complex.01:01:11.519 --> 01:01:12.320


It's not complex.01:01:12.880 --> 01:01:20.719


I saw that with my own kids, the trust, the safety, feeling safe, because a lot a lot when we they lost their father, they were really, you know, scared.01:01:20.800 --> 01:01:21.760


What are we gonna do now?01:01:21.920 --> 01:01:23.119


We don't have dad.01:01:23.440 --> 01:01:24.800


How are we gonna be okay?01:01:24.880 --> 01:01:30.239


So they need to find safety in me that I can make these decisions, we're gonna be okay.01:01:30.480 --> 01:01:37.119


And but they had to see that, and for me to be kind of grounded and do the work and move slowly and build that trust.01:01:37.199 --> 01:01:39.840


You know, there was a lot of questions, especially my daughter.01:01:39.920 --> 01:01:44.239


She was she was only uh eight years old, they were six and eight.01:01:44.880 --> 01:01:47.280


But building that trust was so important to her.01:01:47.360 --> 01:01:52.400


She had so many questions as to how why did dad, you know, die by suicide.01:01:52.480 --> 01:01:56.800


You know, they learned early on what that was, only because they were there.01:01:57.119 --> 01:01:58.000


They were there.01:01:58.159 --> 01:02:02.960


And for me, I could tell for her it needed to build that trust.01:02:03.039 --> 01:02:09.039


And that was really hard because I I felt like, well, how much can I share for this eight-year-old exactly?01:02:09.360 --> 01:02:10.639


You know, might be too much information.01:02:10.800 --> 01:02:13.199


Maybe later on, I would even tell her that.01:02:13.280 --> 01:02:16.000


I said, maybe when you're older, I can explain more.01:02:16.079 --> 01:02:17.440


And she really didn't like that.01:02:17.760 --> 01:02:21.519


And so was building that trust in, and she was ready for it.01:02:21.599 --> 01:02:29.119


I I didn't have that with my son, you know, so I kept it to wherever they were in their levels, wherever that trust was.01:02:29.360 --> 01:02:50.159


But definitely finding safety in me, saying that we're gonna be okay, allowed them kind of to relieve some of that heaviness for them to show that, you know, there are gonna be meals on the table that we're gonna continue on, you know, and uh one day at a time, and that could be the safe place to bring up these questions that they had.01:02:50.639 --> 01:02:50.960


Yes.01:02:51.039 --> 01:03:07.920


I mean, what you've been through is extraordinary, Melissa, and what you've been able to furnish and provide and and do for your family is extraordinary, but I think you would be absolute testament to you know how well you are is is the key, right?01:03:08.320 --> 01:03:10.320


How how well you can self-regulate.01:03:10.400 --> 01:03:18.159


It's all very well saying, provide routine, provide regularity, provide dialogue, just know how much to say to your children.01:03:18.639 --> 01:03:20.480


No, that was too much, that's too little.01:03:20.639 --> 01:03:31.519


We only get to understand that when we are connected to ourself, when we are self-regulated, and from taking care of yourself, then you can trust your mama instinct.01:03:31.599 --> 01:03:34.079


Because I think sometimes I was trusting my mama instinct.01:03:34.159 --> 01:03:37.840


I was throwing saucepans across the room because that's what felt right to me in that moment.01:03:37.920 --> 01:03:39.920


No, no, that's not trusting your mama instinct.01:03:40.000 --> 01:03:43.360


That's just you just lost it right then, and that's absolutely fire.01:03:44.079 --> 01:03:47.599


But to trust yourself, not just trust the process.01:03:48.400 --> 01:03:50.159


Trust yourself was huge.01:03:50.239 --> 01:04:06.320


Uh, the the biggest lesson that I had to trust yourself, because you know, I I've I had uh play therapists for my kids, you know, and I had therapy, and many of them after my husband passed, said, Don't change anything for at least a year.01:04:06.480 --> 01:04:11.119


You know, stay in the same home, don't change too much because they've had every the world turn upside down.01:04:11.280 --> 01:04:28.719


And but I was living in Wasilla, Alaska at the time, and I knew isolated on 50 acres and going through another dark winter, eight months of winter, for me would not have been a good recipe for my own mental health.01:04:28.880 --> 01:04:35.440


As much as my kids absolutely love Alaska and still do, I couldn't be there anymore.01:04:35.679 --> 01:04:40.559


So by so my husband passed in March of 2022.01:04:41.280 --> 01:04:52.239


Uh by July 2022, I had moved my entire family to Arizona because I knew I couldn't live through another winter.01:04:52.400 --> 01:04:57.360


I did the opposite, but I what I did know I had to listen to my intuition.01:04:57.440 --> 01:05:03.039


I knew nobody in Arizona, but something I had been there before, but something was calling me there.01:05:03.199 --> 01:05:04.159


And now I know why.01:05:04.320 --> 01:05:06.960


I mean, there's so much, so many miracles have happened since then.01:05:07.199 --> 01:05:19.119


But it that's where I say you you can trust your intuition as to what do I need to be the best mom that I can be for my kids right now in this moment.01:05:19.280 --> 01:05:21.760


And for me was all the sunshine.01:05:21.920 --> 01:05:24.800


And here, Arizona, I feel like it's a Mecca for healing.01:05:24.880 --> 01:05:29.599


I mean, there's this is how I got integrated into breath work, uh, cold plunging.01:05:29.679 --> 01:05:30.880


Uh, and it's beautiful.01:05:31.039 --> 01:05:35.119


And the community that I didn't even know I needed is is where I'm at.01:05:35.280 --> 01:05:37.119


So there were so many factors there.01:05:37.199 --> 01:05:49.599


So, yes, I love that you say trust your intuition as to what you need as a mom almost first, because then I provided them that safe place that for for their healing.01:05:49.679 --> 01:05:51.199


And now they they are thriving.01:05:51.280 --> 01:05:58.000


It's not perfect, I'm still learning, but they are thriving and they are doing well considering everything they had gone through.01:05:58.480 --> 01:06:03.519


And uh so now we also speak about environment.01:06:03.679 --> 01:06:08.400


So you speak about gut brain, detox, and immune support.01:06:08.639 --> 01:06:11.039


How relevant is our environment?01:06:11.280 --> 01:06:14.320


So I know this was very relevant for for me.01:06:14.880 --> 01:06:19.360


Yes, um, it's hugely, it's hugely impactful.01:06:19.519 --> 01:06:26.400


You know, children today are swimming in in what we refer to as the whole toxic load.01:06:26.639 --> 01:06:31.119


And and we try and keep it uh super simple when it's this important.01:06:31.760 --> 01:06:38.639


You can divide your kind of toxins, if you like, into emotional and physical and chemical.01:06:39.039 --> 01:06:47.440


Um, and this is a step-by-step process, really, to start to break it down and understand where these stresses are residing in the whole family's life.01:06:47.599 --> 01:07:01.519


You know, there's there's physical stress, which we've already alluded to, can start with birth trauma and poor sleep and mouth breathing, and you know, the structure of the face and how it's developing, the teeth, you know, all the stuff that you know about the teeth and jaws.01:07:01.760 --> 01:07:06.880


Yeah, I've had plenty of airway specialists like uh Arthur to talk about that, to bring awareness.01:07:07.039 --> 01:07:07.199


Right.01:07:08.239 --> 01:07:10.159


Uh, it's huge.01:07:10.400 --> 01:07:15.440


Um, then you've got infections, you've got lack of movement and screens instead of play.01:07:15.519 --> 01:07:18.400


So that's the physical environment.01:07:18.639 --> 01:07:33.199


Um, then if we look at the chemical environment, you've got ultra-processed foods, sugars, additives, uh, pesticides, you know, all the glutamates and the glyphosates, you know, in America, worse than anyway, you know, all your food is sprayed with it.01:07:33.440 --> 01:07:34.960


You can't get away from it.01:07:35.119 --> 01:07:37.280


Um, plastics and mold that we've touched on.01:07:37.360 --> 01:07:41.920


You know, there are 80,000 chemicals that didn't exist in our childhoods.01:07:42.079 --> 01:07:44.320


So that's the kind of chemical terrain.01:07:44.559 --> 01:08:04.480


Then you've got the emotional terrain that that we've spent most of our time actually concentrating on here, but but but which is our ability to co-regulate for our children, but it's also stresses from elsewhere, so school stresses, overstimulation, um, bullying, um, disconnection.01:08:04.639 --> 01:08:18.239


Um so when we look at all of this, their bodies are spending so much time and energy just trying to detox, right, and and compensate that they barely have capacity left to develop.01:08:18.479 --> 01:08:27.119


So that's why addressing and stripping back these environmental stresses is so important and doing that in the right order.01:08:27.359 --> 01:08:50.960


So if we were addressing birth trauma, then we take our child back and we look at neurologically focused chiropractic and hands-on to help with the repair of these areas that have been pushed and pulled, and we get nervous system safety in place first, and then when appropriate, we can move on to other systems the the breathing system.01:08:51.279 --> 01:08:53.840


I feel like you do need to work on the nervous system first.01:08:54.000 --> 01:08:57.039


I see that I see that in my program too.01:08:57.119 --> 01:09:12.000


That even start it's like you gotta start with the nervous system because all the parasites and the toxins, they won't be able to detox properly if you're always in that, you know, quite light.01:09:12.239 --> 01:09:12.399


Yeah.01:09:12.800 --> 01:09:24.880


I think when you understand, which we teach again on the course in great depth, that the the vagal, the vagus nerve is kind of running through the entire body like the superhighway, delivering everything.01:09:25.199 --> 01:09:37.199


And within that nervous system ecosystem, if it's out of whack, it can't do the hormones, it can't do the immunity, it can't do the sleep, it can't do the digestion, it can't produce the energy.01:09:37.439 --> 01:09:46.479


So when you understand if that is out of whack and it's in a state of high alert, you can't heal from a state of panic, right?01:09:46.640 --> 01:09:47.279


Think about it.01:09:47.600 --> 01:09:52.399


You just kind of think of what your body feels like intuitively in a state of panic.01:09:52.640 --> 01:09:56.000


And our children are in that state of sympathetic dominance.01:09:56.159 --> 01:10:13.680


There's not a child I've seen that's struggling with any one of the conditions, let alone sometimes it's ADHD and autism, it's sensory with with eczema and the and that you're compounded conditions, but very, very rarely are those children ever in anything other than that sympathetic dominant state.01:10:13.760 --> 01:10:16.960


So the first thing is the safety.01:10:17.199 --> 01:10:18.000


Oh, yeah.01:10:18.159 --> 01:10:39.039


I know I keep saying I need to start a program like teaching the teachers and the at school and the kids that start young, kindergarten, you know, even preschool teaching them like movement, even dancing breaks and the tapping or the humming and you know, all or the affirmations to to help with bullying, you know, build that self-confidence.01:10:39.199 --> 01:10:40.159


So I don't know.01:10:40.239 --> 01:10:44.640


I just I feel like I I I really I I love working with children.01:10:44.720 --> 01:10:50.880


So I and I every time I volunteer my kids' school, I'm like, oh my gosh, I this is so much fun.01:10:51.520 --> 01:10:59.520


But I I really do see that is an importance to bring that uh for them, for their nervous system, and teach them those tools.01:10:59.760 --> 01:11:14.159


And uh, if you could speak to parents of children just beginning to show signs of dysregulation or learning attention struggles, what are three most important actions they can take immediately?01:11:14.560 --> 01:11:17.039


Three important first steps.01:11:17.439 --> 01:11:21.600


Well, it's not going to surprise you what I'm gonna say for the first, um, regulate you.01:11:22.000 --> 01:11:26.640


So rather than, oh, there's something wrong with my child, let's focus there.01:11:26.960 --> 01:11:42.880


The big lesson I've learned in my journey with Quinn is that that was the final golden piece to the jigsaw puzzle, and I'm still working on it because there's so much I need to do to help myself regulate and heal from trauma that existed before Quinn was even a twinkle in my eye.01:11:43.039 --> 01:11:48.720


So we've got our whole journeys to um big journeys to resolve.01:11:48.880 --> 01:11:52.960


But first, regulate you calm parent, calm child.01:11:54.000 --> 01:11:58.640


Uh, number two, I would say, is reduce overwhelm.01:11:58.960 --> 01:12:14.640


So wherever you can, if there are stresses, it might be school, it might be the sensory overload, it might be the number of activities, it might be broken routines, it might create safety where you can through lowering the stimulus that's happening.01:12:14.720 --> 01:12:19.680


And understand, and again, we go into this a lot of the time in the course, you know, bright lights at night.01:12:19.840 --> 01:12:30.239


No, try and follow the natural circadian rhythms of light, you know, replicate nature where you can, spend time in nature where you can, increase predictability.01:12:30.319 --> 01:12:33.600


The nervous system likes to know what's going to be happening next.01:12:33.680 --> 01:12:38.159


So you touched on routine earlier, but reduce overwhelm around foods.01:12:38.239 --> 01:12:40.960


You know, an obvious food that creates overwhelm is sugar.01:12:41.119 --> 01:12:41.760


Take it out.01:12:41.840 --> 01:12:51.439


If you want to bring in something sweet, bring in a healthy, raw, organic coconut sugar or bring in an organ a little sprinkle of a little bit of organic honey if you need some sweet.01:12:51.600 --> 01:12:56.159


So wherever you're seeing overwhelm coming in, you know, help reduce that overwhelm.01:12:56.319 --> 01:12:58.159


Magnesium baths at night.01:12:58.399 --> 01:13:02.079


Yes, you know, things that will just settle the nervous system.01:13:02.479 --> 01:13:06.560


Um, and thirdly, get the foundations checked.01:13:06.720 --> 01:13:11.439


So, you know, if you're looking to your child next, and of course for yourself, start with a nervous system.01:13:11.600 --> 01:13:15.439


Find someone who will truly listen to your story as parents.01:13:15.520 --> 01:13:21.840


That's looking at your pregnancy, looking at your birth experience, your stress load, your child's early development.01:13:21.920 --> 01:13:28.720


Um, a neurologically focused chiropractic for me would be the absolute A1 first visit.01:13:28.880 --> 01:13:29.920


Um, combining.01:13:30.399 --> 01:13:32.239


You need to find one in Arizona.01:13:32.720 --> 01:13:34.079


I I really do.01:13:34.720 --> 01:13:51.680


And and and sometimes um when we create safety and give a baby or child you know the biology they need, um whether that's movement, rhythm, connection, sleep, and digestion and ease begin returning naturally.01:13:51.840 --> 01:13:54.159


That's that's the thing, and you touched on it before.01:13:54.319 --> 01:14:00.640


I think it's um sometimes when you put that in place, the body will find its way back.01:14:00.800 --> 01:14:06.800


You know, it may not need as much supplementation, it may not need as much primitive reflex integration.01:14:06.960 --> 01:14:15.840


Once the nervous system and the body is safe, a lot of those other sequences just fall into place quite naturally.01:14:16.319 --> 01:14:18.000


I believe this is so good.01:14:18.159 --> 01:14:27.760


I um and lastly, what has changed in your own journey as a mother, advocate and educator since you began this work?01:14:28.560 --> 01:14:36.079


How has your spiritual understanding, intuition, breath work, trust deepen and shape the movement you're leading?01:14:36.399 --> 01:14:41.439


So just yeah, what's change in your own journey?01:14:41.520 --> 01:14:50.479


And I know you have your movement now and masterclass, but you're trying to get this message globally now.01:14:50.880 --> 01:14:53.760


And I truly want to help you do that.01:14:53.840 --> 01:14:57.840


And because I feel this message needs to be global.01:14:58.000 --> 01:15:01.359


Every parent or soon-to-be parent needs to hear this.01:15:01.760 --> 01:15:04.399


So, how how can we help you do that?01:15:04.720 --> 01:15:15.600


I I feel if listeners right now share it to other moms, other parents, share this episode and because and take that masterclass.01:15:15.680 --> 01:15:16.560


I I really do.01:15:16.720 --> 01:15:19.439


I mean, where where do you see this going next?01:15:19.600 --> 01:15:23.840


How how can we help you get get this message to as many parents as we can?01:15:24.159 --> 01:15:26.000


Oh wow, so many questions and so many.01:15:26.319 --> 01:15:27.119


I know, I'm sorry.01:15:27.199 --> 01:15:30.640


I'm like, I'm just really passionate about your work.01:15:30.800 --> 01:15:37.439


And yeah, but there's so much and and so much important stuff you've you you've just said there.01:15:37.520 --> 01:15:52.319


You know, it's it's um I think we need to know that there is hope, and we need to know that there is science, robust science, that is sitting behind what we are seeing in our classrooms and what we are seeing in our children.01:15:52.560 --> 01:16:01.920


So the first point is to feel confident enough to start learning, get the information, learn with us at the Brain Health Movement.01:16:02.000 --> 01:16:10.880


You will be amazed when you start listening to my Mighty Quinn R podcast, when you listen to this podcast with Melissa and you start thinking, that's what I'm seeing with my kid.01:16:10.960 --> 01:16:11.760


That's what happened.01:16:12.159 --> 01:16:15.039


Oh, I had no idea that that caused that.01:16:15.199 --> 01:16:17.520


I had no idea that movement was so important.01:16:17.680 --> 01:16:23.119


You know, you might be with a hyperactive little four-year-old son, and you've just given birth to a baby.01:16:23.199 --> 01:16:26.560


So now you know, you'll know what to do with it with your little baby.01:16:26.640 --> 01:16:35.439


And if you're conceiving, you'll know what to consider in your nervous system and what to eat and how to address your environment.01:16:35.600 --> 01:16:38.960


Um, you know, I I it it's affected my life.01:16:39.119 --> 01:16:40.640


You said, How's it changed my life?01:16:40.720 --> 01:16:42.479


You know, in every way possible.01:16:42.560 --> 01:16:46.239


You know, I now see the world through a nervous system and brain health lens.01:16:46.399 --> 01:16:49.359


You know, instead of thinking, what's wrong with that person now?01:16:49.439 --> 01:16:52.239


I find myself asking, what's their nervous system telling me?01:16:53.199 --> 01:16:54.960


I'm like, oh, it's the nervous system.01:16:55.199 --> 01:16:55.520


Yeah.01:16:55.760 --> 01:17:02.640


And with children, I'm like, I'm observing their posture, their breathing, their eye movements, their screams, they're not.01:17:03.520 --> 01:17:05.199


Sometimes I really see it, especially in kids.01:17:05.359 --> 01:17:14.640


Like I see you talked about allergies, or I see these signs, and I so want to go to the parent, but I also have to kind of be mindful how I communicate it, you know.01:17:15.439 --> 01:17:16.399


But I I see it.01:17:16.479 --> 01:17:22.720


I was like, oh sometimes I'll put little messages like, have you ever, you know, thought about this, or you know?01:17:23.520 --> 01:17:30.000


And uh, and now at least I could pass along this this episode, be like, gently be like, Well, maybe you'd like this episode.01:17:30.159 --> 01:17:33.520


Maybe you can invite them into some breath work with you, you know.01:17:33.600 --> 01:17:38.560


It's kind of like but but but spiritually, this journey, you know, it's what's it done for us?01:17:38.640 --> 01:17:54.720


It's for both of us, it's deepened our trust, not in not in blind positivity, but in the understanding that the brain and the body and um the parent and the child are always doing the best they can in the state that they are in, you know.01:17:54.880 --> 01:18:02.319


Um, my work now is helping families change that state gently, respectfully, and effectively, you know.01:18:02.479 --> 01:18:11.760


Um, and why I keep talking about burnout and nervous systems and real root causes is because I don't want to hand out hollow hope.01:18:11.920 --> 01:18:14.079


I want to give you the how.01:18:14.640 --> 01:18:27.840


I want to give you the way that honors science and honors nature and honors not just your child's humanity, but yours, you know, how this is how this really is possible.01:18:28.000 --> 01:18:36.399


You know, my my my child, Quinn, my mighty Quinn, named the podcast after him, is living proof of what is possible.01:18:36.479 --> 01:18:54.159


And I I I think hopeful is so infinitely powerful, but intelligently scientifically backed, hopeful is so powerful, while hopelessness is one of the worst states we can find ourselves in.01:18:54.319 --> 01:19:02.960


So I think in the first step, it is that it is feeling empowered, excited, curious.01:19:03.520 --> 01:19:15.760


If your child has received a diagnosis, if you as an adult, many adults are getting late diagnoses now and making sense of their world quite late in life, that is not the end of your journey.01:19:16.000 --> 01:19:18.159


That is the beginning of your journey.01:19:18.239 --> 01:19:22.000


Your diagnosis is the beginning of your journey.01:19:35.520 --> 01:19:40.720


Um, well, the the podcast is My Mighty Quinn, and it's available on all of the platforms.01:19:40.800 --> 01:19:45.600


Um there's a sub-series called A Mother's Conversations with World Leading Experts.01:19:45.760 --> 01:19:46.560


So that's there.01:19:46.640 --> 01:19:51.199


The free masterclass is called From Burnout to Breakthrough, and we'll share that link too.01:19:51.359 --> 01:19:56.800


And then there is our course, which is the whole child multidisciplinary roadmap to healing.01:19:57.119 --> 01:20:00.079


So those three are really our anchors.01:20:00.159 --> 01:20:13.119


Um, we have a lot of free resources also on our website, the brainhealthmovement.com, Melissa, which our uh parents and your followers are welcome to use and abuse.01:20:13.279 --> 01:20:15.760


Just download everything that you can from that.01:20:15.920 --> 01:20:25.680


There are guides that cover all the different disciplines we've talked about, and genuinely the podcast episodes have followed the pediatric world leading expert.01:20:25.840 --> 01:20:27.279


So you're in good hands there.01:20:27.359 --> 01:20:36.800


And then if that feels like the foundation is there for you and you feel ready, then have a look at the course and see if you're ready to enroll.01:20:36.880 --> 01:20:39.760


And on that, you can absolutely do that at your own pace.01:20:39.920 --> 01:20:41.439


It's 12 weeks online.01:20:42.000 --> 01:20:44.880


You can do it in your own time, it's yours for a year.01:20:45.039 --> 01:20:54.399


We have a whole community um support uh videos uh where we jump online and help parents going through the course as well.01:20:54.560 --> 01:21:00.319


And if they need further support, we have one-to-one parent uh support sessions as well.01:21:00.560 --> 01:21:02.560


So this is fantastic.01:21:02.720 --> 01:21:08.159


This, like you said, will bring hope to so many parents, like mamas, you know, out there.01:21:08.399 --> 01:21:14.319


And I I'm so proud of what you're doing, and I I'm so grateful that I found you.01:21:14.399 --> 01:21:17.760


And actually, it's me digging the more into the whys.01:21:18.000 --> 01:21:24.479


And I found a podcast you were on, and I said I just I was like, I need to have her on, I need to have Lucia on.01:21:24.560 --> 01:21:26.720


And then thank you for saying yes.01:21:27.119 --> 01:21:38.319


And uh, I look forward to sharing with our audience and parents, and and I know this will you we will change so many lives and children's lives and in generation.01:21:38.479 --> 01:21:50.560


Think about even now, maybe your children are grown, but maybe you're gonna have grandkids, and now you're gonna be able to educate and know what see it through a nervous system lens.01:21:50.640 --> 01:21:53.439


That's the way I see it as well, just like you.01:21:53.920 --> 01:22:01.760


So, Lucia, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, your story, and the pathway you've built before parents and children alike.01:22:02.159 --> 01:22:18.800


From nervous system co-regulation and primitive reflexes to gut brain detox, emotional safety and spiritual alignment, you've given us you've given us a lot to hold and reflect on and act upon.01:22:19.920 --> 01:22:43.680


To listeners, if you're if you okay, to listeners, if you were touched or inspired by today's conversation, I encourage you to visit Lucia's the Brain Health Movement site, explore her course offerings, free guides, and join the community of parents who don't accept the status quo but choose to heal and restore.01:22:44.239 --> 01:22:59.680


As always, on not alone, you are not walking this journey alone, you are seen, you are loved, and you are empowered to trust your intuition, your body, your children, and your deeper wisdom.01:23:00.159 --> 01:23:09.439


Until next time, keep breathing, keep listening, keep loving, and remember that healing begins with a trust.01:23:10.079 --> 01:23:11.359


I'll see you next weekend.