PipemanRadio Has a Secret Interview with Blothar of GWAR at Download20

0:00 Hey, you love them too, that's sure. I'm I'm four C wow for you. Wake up America. It's time for the Adventures of Pipeman on W four C why dot com. West Palm Beach is number one Internet radio station. Here's your host, the white Man. This is the pipe Man here on the Adventures by w BCY Radio, and I'm the here with This is the berserker blowthar of guire. Whoa why are you invading my studio?

1:11 I don't know. This is where they where they told me to go, and they said there'd be sandwiches. So I'm not giving you any sandwiches. I mean, listen, you want to Sam, you shually have brought me a sandwich, all right, well, at least there's a ship sandwich. Come on, Just don't bleed on me, all right. I got out of our interviews to do. I see some gummy bears over there. I'll eat those. You want some gummy bears, well we'll steal as gummy bears. Okay, Hey Gary, we need gummy bears for the interview. He can't do the interview without gummy bears. Thank you, Thank you, Barry so Man. Download Festival twentieth Anniversary can you believe you your ship made it here. I cannot believe it. I mean, the ship made it, but a lot of the a lot of the equipment didn't, so our space trailer got stuck and we're waiting for the airlines to work it out. Attack.

2:01 Yeah exactly, I don't know. Apparently. Yeah, we were attacked by the inefficiency of humanity. That's what attacked us. So now we're just waiting for our gear to show up here at the Download Festival so we can put it on and take some lives here on the English countryside. So beautiful, and nobody would ever know because we're out in the country, that's right. I know, the clotted cream and a bunch of cows. Boy, it's it's beautiful. So you're talking about the humans, okay, And I think with Allie and Sandy and the human race right now, this it's the perfect time for guard to take over Earth. I think you're absolutely right.

2:42 I mean, we've been trying for quite some time. It's proven to be much more difficult than we planned. And mainly it's because humanity seems to just adjusted themselves to living like we do, much to our chagrin. They're just just as brutal and just as violent, and just as thoughtless, and just about as Guar themselves. So it's definitely proven a challenge. But I think, you know, things are definitely shaping up. I mean, look at the fire in New York. That's one reason that we had such trouble getting here. I mean, it's just you can't even see anything on the East Coast. That's why I'm glad I'm over here. Or it's like my daughter was telling me, like, you can't breathe over there. I'm like, that's why I'm here in the UK, where you know I can't breathe because of the pollen, right, don't they call it the Big smoke? And that what they call London of something like that. I don't know. So listen, why you know what I think is I see these people going to your shows, and you came here to take over and destroy them with all of your alien weaponry, and yet they come and they charge the stage to get shot with your alien weaponry. I don't get that. Well, that's always been the mystery for us, you know, is why humanity seems to lust for their own destruction. What all you have to do is flip through the pages of human history, and you see that it's hardly new. Right, humans have always worshiped death. It makes perfect sense if they'd worshiped Gar.

4:09 So here's what I really want to though. Are you gonna go out there and eat Bring Me the Horizon when headline tonight? Well, it's hardly worth the meal, right, I mean, these guys need to, let's face it, they need to put on some weight. Plus, I'm worried the spandex will get stuck in my teeth. I've never seen so much Halloween hair in my life, I know, right, I think wordy aliens? Yeah, I think so, that's right. Yeah? No, I mean I mean look at her for instance. Yeah, just for instance. Wow, No, we're talking about Michelle. I don't know. I mean, you know, I've got my good friend Nordle here. I'll probably hang out with him a little bit, but maybe together we can really dig into some tasty human flesh. I don't know, Bring me the Horizon? Why are these names so damn loss right? Well, they're always it's either it's always Faulkner novels. They're named after two or like you know, as I lay dying, and I don't know somebody helped me. Please geez, these names are really long. I can't remember any of them. And you know they all have acronyms, So is guar an acronym? Well, you know, that's an interesting story. Originally, we first for our first show, we made a flyer that simply said rah. And it turns out that the way you spell that is gggg www A A r r r r g g g

5:40 h h. So it just looked like guah. And then we you know, we said, well kiss, that's only four letters, devo, that's only four letters guar? Why not We just took you know, the first letter of each guttural enunciation and wound up with guar. But people think, all I mean, we've been asked, you know, does it stay for stand for gay Women Against Rape which was a something that appeared in a comic book at some point. People for a long time they thought that's what it was. It was like, well, I think it's good worldly alien rock. That's right there, you go. Did you ever get that one good? Yeah, we didn't go with great because you know, we don't want to be presumptuous. We could have been called poor passable alien rock there, So what can we expect here at download? Are you going to destroy the place like it's twentth anniversary? Maybe we should end download? I mean, well that would be nice, wouldn't it. But I mean I think that you know, we were scolded the last time that we were here for having such an obscene presence on stage. I think that this time, taking that advice, we're going to go a step further. We've got we've got the Queen, the zombie Queen. We realized we you know, she died unfortunately, so we have to resurrect her in order to kill her. But we've gone through the debt, We've filled out the necessary paperwork with Satan, and she will be appearing. We know that we've got we may even have the Pope come out. I don't know. We're talking with as people. I

7:14 have an idea, Yeah, you could take the zombie Queen and she will eat Megan Markel. Now that's a good idea, Megan Merkel. I don't know. We couldn't. We don't have a good pantsuit budget, so I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how we're gonna get her in there. Very oppressive person that Adrian Merkell there's a lot of half naked women running around this place. Does that excite people from your world? I don't know about excite confused, it's more like it. You know, humans are really built very poorly and not put together. Who's ever heard of only having one ass? Right? We have multiple asses. It's all come from multiple penises too, that's right, Like I wish I had multiples. Why do you think I'm equipped with four? And then one inverted one which makes five? Well, what's great about the inverted one? As you can please yourself when they're not pleasing you exactly, or disappoint them as that's where I get my pleasure. There you go disappointment, And by having four, you can disappoint four at one. That's right, You're absolutely right. I go, I can disappoint more women than that at once. Trust me, an entire crowd of every woman at download will be horribly disappointed in me. But they keep coming for you. They love you, that's right. I don't know if coming is really part of the equation, but wow, they keep turning up. Let's put it like that. Yeah, I think you're the

8:48 one coming, that's right. Yeah, So we go. There's a bunch of photographers in this room. What are you gonna do these photographers on stage here? I always like to see photographers approach the stage because they have such expensive gear and they don't know what's going to happen, and hosing them down directly as it always proves more. I mean, that's one reason why GUAR really hasn't ascended to the heights that we could, is because members of the press generally don't survive the encounter to make the actual reporting. So I'm very impressed by you, Pipman. I mean, this has been I think multiple times that we've talked with you, and yes, and still you keep coming back. I think you must have some kind of secret mojo of immortality.

9:33 I definitely do. And you know, funny enough, I've interviewed you more times like this than the normal way. I see, I see, we like the abnormal way. Yeah, yes, that makes perfect sense. So what's going on after download for GUAR? Are you going back home or are you gonna take over other parts of Earth? Well, we have a few shows in bloody old England and we're playing at Chennery's and South End and someplace else that I can't remember. And then we play a festival in Spain. Yeah, I know, it's quite a quite a lineup. We're playing with the Pretenders. I never thought that would happen, really, Yeah, yeah, the Pretenders and they still play, they still play. I can't wait to meet Chrissy High. Are you get eater? Well, you know when I was a kid, she might be too old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's more like it's jerky at this point. Huh yeah, but I'll take it. There you go. Of course I'd love to eat Chrissy High. I can't think of a better thing. You know, she is so great, such a great singer. I just wonder who's still in the band. Probably nobody. Yeah, you know, I interviewed this band, the Grassroots from the sixties. I remember them. Nobody in the band was the original. Well, you know, it's funny that you wouldn't mention that,

11:03 because when I was a young lad, one of my first jobs was washing dishes at an Indian owned American restaurant somewhere in the American South. And I remember that the alcoholic cook told me, oh, you're a musician, me too. I was the original, an original member of that band, the grass Roots. I'll never forget it. I was like, you know, wow, I think I was seventeen years old. And then he got fired for stealing a big jug of ernest and Julio gallowed and drinking the whole thing, and the walk in refrigerator we found him unconscious in there with his was brutal. I just went there to huff some whip cream out of the can. And now he plays in Megadeth. Now he is exactly oh Man, great stum tributes to Megadeth. Yeah, that's what I want to do.

11:56 How about your newest music, our newest music, well, the New Dark Ages. You know, we began our conversation talking about that, like the humanity's descent into a New Dark Age, and this album it really it really, it doesn't anticipate it. It records this the latest turn off of the path for humanity, and it's a fun record. I mean, it's one of the reasons we like coming to Europe because this is the home of the Dark Ages. Yes, but you know, there's all kinds of all kinds of terrible things going on in the world, and the New Dark Ages basically goes over. Let me look at it. There's all kinds of people people are prepared to believe anything these things. That's one thing that I like, that's for sure. I mean, there's absolutely nothing that humans won't grab onto and think is true. I think that it's a symptom of the utter lack of truth in the world today. And the record records some of that too, but all with a sense of human And it's funny because you know, With the Blood of Gods, the question was which is the album before us? The question was, you know, are we going to make it?

13:01 You know, we'll, we'll the should the band keep going? And then we answered that question with this record, and then are with with with the Blood of Gods? And then with this record we were able to sort of stretch out and be the rock band that we are going to be. So it was a fun record to make and I think it's one of one of the better ones we've made. So here's the biggest question of all and we're gonna leave England for a second. Okay, is blowth are going to run for President of the United States of America. Well, you know, it's a very crowded Republican field, as you know, I was. I was, but they're all old. It's like a bunch of beef jerky.

13:43 Oh they are, Yeah, you're right, No, they're they're all old. I mean I think maybe, and then the ones that aren't old don't have a chance in hell. But you know, I'm old, so it makes perfect sense. I mean, I'm certainly old. I meet the age requirement, which apparently is seventy five years old. Americans really value that in a leader. Dotterininess, I don't know. I mean, I I think that, you know, I rather enjoy my life just you know, masturbating constantly and while standing around the eighteenth hold of a golf course. So I think probably it probably not you get it in the whole that I'm too busy.

14:24 I am just too busy. Well, you know, pipe Man runs for pres every election? Are you serious? And here's a good one. Okay, So first of all, my platform is this. We have a commercial. We run a station where it's Bill Clinton saying I did not have sexual relations with that woman. My platform is I'm pipe Man, and I will have sexual relations with that woman. Please vote pipe Man for Prez. Now here's the best part. I got five votes in twenty sixteen. That's how sad. Oh that is sad. Five votes. I mean you know, it's why can't the United States be more like Italy where infidelity is just expected of their political leaders? Of course, how can you be a political leader and not do that? I know, I mean it's like, I don't know. You're the most powerful human in the world. I mean, you've got to be banging everybody, sticking a cigar and some overweight interns.

15:22 Butthole I mean, of course, and then deny it. That's of course with a dead straight face. I respect Bill Clinton. Let me tell you something, incorrigible, pervert, that's just I think maybe he's from your plan. That kind of thing should be rewarded. And a human that's what I think, far more interesting than Mike Pence, who just breaks out in a sweat anytime a woman comes and hear him. I mean, I would be more worried about that guy, utterly terrified to be alone with a woman. The hell is going on there? He might want to give her shock therapy. He can't possibly be trusted. That's right, Well both are. You can be trusted and guarre is gonna take over download twentieth anniversary, So thank you for making it here, even though you're crap didn't make it here you said it, I didn't, okay, all right, but you know what, you could just go still, bring me the horizon stuff and use that.

16:22 That's right, we'll kill him on stage. That'll be great. Pipeman. Thank you for laying the pipe so consistently over all these years. We love you here at Gua well, thank you. And pipe Man loves Guarre and I can't wait to leave my planet and go to yours because I'm sick of this one. All right, you'll be welcome. Thank you for listening to the adventures of pipe Man. I'm w for CUI Radio.