GWAR’s Galactic Reign: Dinosaurs, Nuclear Parties, and Metal Mayhem at Louder Than Life

0:04 Hi, you're listening to The Adventure on W4CY Radio. This is the Pipe Man here on The Adventure's Pipe Man W4CY Radio, and I'm here with. Sawbulk Destructive Gwar. Nice. Oh, my God. I saw your set, okay, earlier here at Louder Than Life. And you added some new shit to it I was really excited about. That's right. Like, where'd the dinosaur come from? Gorgor. Did you see at the beginning there was an egg? I didn't see the beginning part. Let me explain to you short for you.

0:46 I want to hear it. There's a dinosaur egg on stage. This dino guy comes out and explains that this dinosaur that's inside this egg will take all the power of all the governments, all the religions in the world, and consolidate all the power under one dino rule. So Gwar, of course, wants this. Right? Of course. I want this. They want to hatch this poor little dinosaur, raise him on a steady diet of crack and pornography, and then... Make the dinosaur do their bidding. So there you go. That's it in a nutshell. But then why was the dinosaur eaten like one of your... Others, not yours, but. Because he was giving him a blowjob.

1:30 Ah. See, there's a little nerd fact. I don't know if you've heard about these things. They're called blowjobs. Can you tell us a little more about it? It's an oral fixation. I think that's what it is. I was married for a lot of years, so I don't know what that is. So no blowjobs. Yeah, I don't know what that is. I have this thought, okay, since you brought Dinosaur on, and I was at Bloodstock last month in a mosh pit with dinosaurs. Yeah, I saw that. I was so jealous. You need to do a tour with Heavy Sorus. I know. Heavy Sorus is awesome. And have, like, a battle on stage. Yeah, Gorgor comes out, Rexxar comes out, fights Heavy Sorus to the death. It'd be awesome. Yeah, there you go. And can you please do me a favor? And can you guys take all the political leaders in this world and bring them back to wherever they came from? Because we don't want them here.

2:22 Look, we're not taking responsibility for those idiots. You guys born and raised all those idiots and put them in charge. So you have only yourselves to blame, okay? But we did kill. Trump, so you're welcome. All right, you're welcome. Jeez. Exactly. You know, like, we need more of Gwar. I know, right? Why don't you run for president next time in the United States? I mean, look, our manager has run for president. We have said, I mean, why would we want to be presidents when we could just be rulers of this planet? Well, that's true. Why would we want to rule this mud ball planet in the first place? There's so many better planets out in the universe. We're just too lazy to leave. That's it. That's it. I heard a rumor, though, that you're the ones that really brought the AI here so that AI could destroy humanity and then you could take over.

3:10 Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, lazily, we're going to get AI to do all the work like you fucking humans. You're just going to get AI to do the work. Then you're going to complain about it while you created it. Look, you people like to make your own demise and just lay back and be like, oh, no. You people are responsible for it. You understand that, right? You get it? Oh, I do get it. I want to go back to your planet. I'm sick of this planet. I don't know why you want to be here. I don't blame you. I don't blame you. There's a lot of ridiculous crap on here. But it's called taking accountability for one's actions, okay? You need to do that a little bit more as a race, a species. And then the other aliens who are too scared shitless of you people because you have monkeys with power tools that are going to blow up everything that you come in contact with or give nasty viruses to. I mean, look, you're filthy, dirty, dirty.

4:04 Oh, my gosh. Jeez. I could go on, but I won't. I digress. Okay, so my question then is, you talk about, you know, diseases... Why do 95% of koala bears have chlamydia? Because they like to get it on. Those koala bears are frisky. Do they give guar blowjobs to you? Oh, yeah. Like most animals on this planet, people, the dinosaurs used to, you know. So, I mean, blowjobs all around. So, now, who else are you going to team up with besides dinosaurs to really... consummate taking over this planet.

4:44 Well there's always some enemy at gwar's gates that we have to deal with and we'll do it and if the most laziest half-assed way possible when we absolutely positively have to so i mean you know we'll see what comes down the road we got dinosaurs we've got ai we've got nuclear threats. There's all kinds of crap happening right now. So we'll see I think maybe if way back when in the beginning you guys ate Oprah, none of this would have happened. Yeah, right. I don't know. If we didn't have sex with the apes and create you half-breeds in the first place, then, you know, this planet might have had a chance.

5:25 But, you know, you guys have been running amok way too long. Well, that's why we need GWAR at every festival in the world, because I think... That the solution to the world's problems is one big metal festival. Oh, man, totally. Where GWAR just changes everybody. Yeah, I agree. Just have like a worldwide metal fest. Exactly. Just every continent. Just go every continent. Continental tour. It'd be awesome. You know, maybe we could just go back to Pangea and squeeze it all back together again so it's one big landmass that everybody lives on. And then we just do a big show in the middle of it. And then we blow it all up with all the nuclear arsenals.

6:05 On the planet. That's a good idea. One big party. Everybody's out. There it is. He's out. Are you guys resistant to nuclear war? You'll survive it with the cockroaches, right? We're resistant to nuclear war. You guys aren't. Exactly. It'll be you and the cockroaches. Yeah, we'll just be chilling out with what mutates next. Exactly. The dinosaurs might come back. The other aliens that are in the universe might show up. We'll see. What's your favorite part of history in this world, in that realm? Was it the dinosaur age? Was it the caveman age? Or we know it's not now.

6:46 Well, I mean, look, people always want to look fondly to the past. But right now, is batshit crazy. I mean, everybody thinks that, you know, oh, the past was so crazy. It's like, right now it's crazy. Right now it's crazy. Everybody's complaining about it online. You can read it wherever you want, right? So, I mean, I think right now is awesome. Awesome time. Well, you know why it's awesome? Because Gwar is out louder than life. Louder than life, killing everybody. And once again, you're welcome. We killed Trump. You're welcome. Thank you very much, by the way, because I live in Florida. I live in Florida. He's my neighbor, so thank God. You helped me out a lot.

7:27 So you saw all the comings and goings. Over there, huh? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, so how about Danny Wimmer? Are you going to spare him? Do you guys like Danny Wimmer? We're going to kill everybody. Everybody's going to get killed. I mean, we are equal opportunity haters. We don't pick a side. We're just going to kill everybody. I like that thought process. Yeah, it's equal, right? Well, you know, my best bro, he passed away a couple years ago, but he said we just need to break the whole thing and just wipe everything out and start over. Yeah, that's right. I agree with that. We've seen it. We're not going anywhere. Like you said, if you guys get into launching the nukes, we're going to freaking.

8:10 Come out of the craters and be like, what's left to eat? What else is left to do on this stupid planet? We'll figure it out. What I want to know is from your planet Why don't I see the females yet? Because I want to procreate with one of them to create a better species. Yes, I know. But listen, the women that came with us originally didn't want to have sex with any of us. So that's why the apes, the animals, the half-breeds, the legends of old are all gore-having. Sex with anything on the planet that moved. So you're welcome for that, too. We created your species, so you're welcome. You're welcome. Well, thank you. And thank you for being here on Earth and trying to help us out here because.

8:57 We're a bunch of idiots. Nobody said helping out. Well, that's true, but You're indirectly healthy. Okay. All right. We'll take that one. With great music and great performances. Oh, thank you. At all these festivals all over the world. Yes. And hopefully humans can learn a thing or two from getting guar blood and cum on them. Yes. Yes. Enlightenment by fluids. Exactly. Is there anything else you want to say that's coming up for GWAR that people need to beware of? Well, we're going out on the Gorgor Must Die Tour in a couple of weeks. Look it up on GWAR.net. I don't know the exact dates. I'm not a goddamn encyclopedia.

9:39 And that's why we have a website. I digress. I digress. And there's going to be some new video stuff that's coming out pretty soon. Yeah, again, keep your eye on the press. There's a lot of juicy GWAR stuff coming. I think there's a, we're going to be in, if I can get it right, Mutant Football League. There's going to be a DLC that GWAR is going to be, like everybody, you'll be able to play your favorite GWAR member, like me. You'll be able to play me as a football guy, not play me anywhere. Stop looking at me like that. I see what you're thinking. Like, no, it's a football game, goddammit. Get your mind out of the gutter.

10:20 But yeah, like I said, I don't know if I'm allowed to talk about this yet, but the movie franchise VHS, we do a bit part in that. That's coming out pretty soon as well, so keep your eyes peeled for that. It's going to be awesome. But you guys are really freaking busy for also trying to take over the planet. How do you have time for all this great music? I mean, you know, we're sitting on the toilet and the tune drops out. That's what happens. There it is. That's why I think of a lot of bands, actually. Especially the A.I. music. Yeah, especially the A.I. music. It is a bunch of crap.

11:01 Straight in the crapper. GWAR is the real deal. Yes. And thank God you're not human or else the music would be shit because there's nobody better than GWAR on this universe. We created music too. You're welcome. Exactly. Thank you. And thanks for being here at Louder in Life and thanks for being on the Adventures of Pipe Man. Thank you, man, Pipe Man. This is Saul Borg, Destructo, and the name of GWAR. And you're listening to Pipe Man on W4CY. Com. Yeah! Thank you for listening to The Adventures of Pikeman on W4CY Radio.