The Importance of Decoupling Self-worth from Your Pricing

In this episode of Live with The Pricing Lady, I sit down with

Aya Ghosh a consciousness coach.

She shares with me that she thinks people should have more fun with

pricing, but admits that mindset often gets in the way, as it did for her.

Sit back, relax and enjoy this episode.

As Aya shares with us, her own pricing journey.

Today I'd like to welcome our very special guest, Aya Ghosh.

Hi Aya.

Hi Janene.

I'm so excited to have you here with me today and to dig into this conversation.

Why don't we start with where are you joining us from today?

I'm joining you from Switzerland, Zurich.

From Zurich, Switzerland.

Excellent.

And what would you call your super power?

My superpower is to ask gorgeous questions.

Oh, so actually you need to be in the driver's seat on this one.

Super.

That is a wonderful superpower because questions, you know, well asked questions

can be such a door opener for people.

Yeah.

What's one interesting thing you'd like to share with us that

most people don't know about you?

I wanted to be a film director when I was 20.

Oh, how interesting.

And what, what was it that interests you about that?

I just love the creative power and how, what you can give to the

audience when you combine sound, you know, scenario, pictures.

Okay.

Interesting.

So you have a creative side then as well.

Yes.

Super.

Okay.

Why don't we start at the beginning and, well, actually first, why

don't you tell us a bit about what you do in your business?

I work as a consciousness coach and I help people move on from the experiences that

they're stuck with or to find the purposes that they want to find in their life.

And this is, I think, something that keeps expanding.

Yes.

You know, I think if there's one thing I've learned over the

years is that you're never done.

It's just constantly growing and evolving and shifting.

The universe has ways of throwing things your way that take you outside

that comfort zone and challenge you.

It's important to get that help and support along the way.

Excellent.

Well said.

So Aya, what was it like that first time that you sat down and

you had to actually set a price for something in your business?

Well, the first time was very, very like exciting and anxious at the same time.

When I started my own business, I was still in my coaching school.

As I was finishing up my coaching school, I simultaneously started my own business.

I was like, Ooh, like I'm still a student, but I want to start this.

And it was the first experience of setting my own price.

So that was quite memorable.

Yeah.

And how, how did you go about doing that?

Doing that, I kind of like checked other people's rates, like

who are already in the market.

And I decided for something a little bit lower than that, including the

fact that I'm still in the school.

And if I may ask, the reason for pricing a little bit lower was

because you were still training.

Yes.

That's what I had thought when I set that price,

but then there came a point when I actually finished the, like a schooling

and I wanted to raise my price and I had that experience in that.

And I realized that I've had so many accomplishments in my life.

in my life, but I don't have great self worth, right?

This didn't have great self worth.

And that was sort of like not helping me with the experience of the pricing.

So I had to work on that as well.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So when you, you say you felt like your self worth wasn't there, how

would you describe what that felt like?

What's so interesting is like, you don't see it yourself.

All I had was this bad experience.

Why is this so difficult for me emotionally to change the pricing?

Being a coach, I think you need to walk the talk.

I had a coaching session with my peers.

It turned out like, wow, I don't feel like I'm good enough.

. You know,

. Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, I think, I think a lot of people feel that way.

Yeah.

Not just in pricing, but in many aspects of life.

And I guess that's something that comes up a lot with the people

that you work with as well.

Is that?

Yes.

That's fair.

And I think also having your own business magnifies your personal

beliefs, both positive and limiting beliefs, as well as your own energy.

It's a really good way to learn about yourself.

Yes.

Yes.

I always tell, I always share with people that, you know, I thought

that starting your own business was this like career journey.

And it is more than anything, a self development journey.

Absolutely.

100 percent a self development journey.

Yeah.

So what beliefs that did you discover?

So aside from maybe the self worth or maybe in the context of the

self worth even, what beliefs did you carry with you that really

didn't help you in your business?

There were many and they were kind of tied with each other, but some of them are,

as we discussed, not being good enough.

There was also something about externally referencing.

So it's easy to like reference the external market.

but there are range there and it could be really anything and at the end of

the day you need to do your research and internally reference and find out

what's right for you and I was not too strong with the internal referencing

so that was something that I was also working on and then there was also this.

Like a belief about like wanting to help as many people as possible.

And if you accomplish that mission, right, like the cheaper, the better,

but that's not going to be sustainable.

Did you also have then beliefs that you felt actually were helping you as well?

I did.

I really had the conviction that this is what I meant to be doing and like, even

though it had not yet been working at that point that I'm living my purpose.

So that really, really helped me go through this self introspection process.

Right.

Okay.

I think it's interesting because I think people assume that if they

know how to do something that they won't have any problems doing it.

Right.

So they logically know the steps.

And it sounds like you had a plan with some steps to take on

how to find the right prices.

Logically knowing them is one thing, but then the emotional

connection to it is something else.

Would you agree with that?

Totally agree with that.

Yeah.

I feel like even if you have the optimal or strategically right price, unless you

have an emotional connection to that, it's not going to work on an energetic level.

Like people know that when you speak to people.

So how do you build that energetic connection to your

pricing or to your worth?

I don't know whether you're, you're saying it in the context of your

worth or of the, I always hesitate to say your own worth, but the worth

or value of what you offer or in what context do you, do you mean that?

Well, that's a really good point because like our worth is like infinite, right?

Each one of us has anything (infinite) of value.

It's not necessarily true to say that this pricing reflects who I am or

my value as an individual, because it's always going to be much more.

It's definitely more than 10 million or whatever you can number.

But your sense of worth in terms of providing as a service provider, I

think there is some kind of connection.

And I think the easiest way to catch yourself is like, A,

to like observe the reality.

Is it actually working while you're doing in the world or not?

That's a very easy way to tell.

Another thing I recommend people is to calibrate yourself when

you're offering your product.

Let's say you have like a cup of coffee that you want to sell for five francs.

Let's say like, I say Janene, like this is a coffee you can have for five francs.

What does it feel like to say that?

Yes.

Yeah.

That's very important.

Being able to speak the number out loud and to be able to

say it in a confident way.

I'm sure I've mentioned this on an episode before, but quite often, when

I meet people and we have conversations about pricing, eventually I'll ask

them, Oh, well, what do you charge for your offer, for your product

and their response is... 500 francs?

They say it like a question.

And to me that's like a dead giveaway.

Now they may be doing it just because they know who I am and what I'm doing.

And so they're sort of asking for my approval, but I would give some of

them also do that with their clients as well, or with their customers.

If they're having those conversations and, and yeah, that's a dead giveaway.

But I think like, you know, even if it's with you, I think the

science is different when you say like, well, this is 500 francs.

What do you think about it?

Right?

Like, that's not a question.

So, and at the end of the day, you need to take an ownership.

Yes.

Yes, that's absolutely true.

That's absolutely true.

So, one of the things you mentioned when we first spoke was that you found

That there were challenges when it comes to pricing services specifically.

Can you tell us a little bit more about that?

Well, it's like for one thing, it's very, very sometimes difficult to

explain what you do, because if I have a car, I can show you like, here's this

beautiful car, this is what it does.

But like with the service industry, I think like what people get really

like depends on like how much people are reaching for change in terms

of my own profession, and there is like no shape, no specific shape,

but I can like Share with people.

So, you know, it's like, from the brain configuration perspective, it's actually

very difficult to start when you don't have a picture that goes with it.

So,

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I think it's, if I would paraphrase that, I would say it's a little less

tangible, like it feels or people.

Do you think that You as the business owner, the person offering the

service that you feel it's less tangible or is it that you think

other people, like your customers, think it's less tangible or both?

That's a gorgeous question and you, you might be onto my belief,

but I think other people think it's less tangible.

Uh huh.

Yeah.

And how, how have you dealt with that when it came then to pricing and having

those conversations with your clients?

What I love doing is to share my own experience and what I got through the

coaching services because now I'm also on the client side and What I got from

it is just one demonstration example, what it can do for other people.

And I also just really enjoy working with people.

So sometimes I do offer like, free sessions or, you know,

depending on where people are at.

Okay.

Excellent.

And I think it's, you know, what's at the core is actually like

the commitment to uncertainty.

It's very difficult for any one of us to commit to what is uncertain.

And it's less certain than committing to a cup of coffee or.

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

That's true.

And I mean, we know most of us know if we're, okay, if we're hiring a plumber, we

don't really have to invest our own time and money or effort into getting results.

You know, the plumber comes in, they do their job and it's done.

But when it comes to, you know, consulting or coaching, there's

usually some aspect of the client.

Where they actually have to do the work.

And I think as a client, when you're in the position of being the one

making the purchase and some level, you may not admit it, but on some

level you want, you know, that you're going to have to do some work, right?

Along the way.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's a different experience in the service spectrum for sure.

Yes.

Okay.

How in your experience do you think people can allow pricing to be easier for them?

Wow, thank you so much for your question.

I think one of the attitudes that really helps me is like, you

don't have to be a perfectionist.

You don't have to get the price pricing right in the first trial.

It's just like a feedback system.

So you try something.

If it doesn't work, you adjust it.

See it as a learning process other than like, Oh, I got it.

Like, blah, blah, blah.

Another thing is like to have really good friends that you can speak

with, who understands what you do and the value, but who also have

like a common sense perspective of the world or the market outside.

Just ask them what they think.

Yeah, those are great.

Great tips.

Thank you for sharing those.

Something else that you spoke about that I found really interesting

was you talked about having a needy energy at some point in time, right?

And how that impacted what you did or didn't do, or how you did it.

Can you talk to us a little bit more about that?

Of course.

And that's Media, Energy Store did not work.

In the first years of my business, I actually had a hundred percent

full time corporate job on the side.

My livelihood, paying the rent and all of that, did not depend

on my personal business income.

And after that, I took a decision to leave work.

And I was like, now I really need to be making money.

So the pricing was still the same as before, but I was like, I was super

needy about having the money and like pretty much all of the sales conversation

during that period did not work out.

Uh huh.

And so I had more topics to work about myself.

So you think that you were giving off this energy and that was

influencing Other, the people who were making decisions in a sense.

Yeah.

I think I was like a dog who just did not stop barking and

wants attention 24 hours a day.

Okay.

And so what, how were you able to shift that?

Well, the first step of shifting that was like, just like notice,

like, wow, something is not working.

And then I got really curious about that.

I kind of introspected, like, what it is like, that's different

for me compared to before.

And I was just like really feeling needy about everything in life.

Like I wanted to have everything all at once.

I was not patient.

And a friend pointed out to me, like, no, that's not going to work.

Ah, yeah.

So it was.

It's really nice to have good friends that tell you the truth.

Absolutely.

Yes, it is.

Super.

So thank you for sharing that.

I think right now what we're going to do is we're going to start wrapping this up.

I've got a few more questions for you.

So what is one thing that you think or that you like people to

remember from our conversation today?

Ah, thank you for the question.

I would really like people to think of pricing as something you can have fun

with and learn with, and that you don't have to get it right in the first try.

See, I love that answer.

And I didn't tell her to say that.

No, I mean, I think people think of it as this hard nose thing,

but it can be very creative.

And you know, that's what I hear from people a lot after they've

experienced me as an, it can be fun and it can be creative, and I

think that that's a wonderful way to approach it as well, because then it

doesn't feel so daunting and scary.

So thank you for that.

What's one of the most amazing things you've overcome in your life?

Can be business or personal, whatever you prefer to share.

Oh, it's really like understanding who I am and just feeling good about

being myself and liking myself.

That's super important.

You know, we're all on that journey, aren't we?

Do you have a book or a tool that you'd like to share with the listeners today?

I am a bookworm and I have a book I would love to share.

Okay.

New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.

Yes, . It is an excellent book.

It's been a few years since I've read it, so maybe this is

a reminder to pick it up again.

Thank you for that.

What is it that you find so interesting or so rich about that book?

It really, really changes your perspective and it really, really allow, at least

it allowed me to appreciate my everyday life and it really made me realize.

I don't have to go anywhere to change my experience.

It's all inside.

It's all inside, yeah.

Well, thank you for sharing that.

Excellent.

One last question.

If people would like to find out more about what you do and how to

work with you, where should they go?

Please visit my website, which is ayatransformation.

com.

Excellent.

So we'll put the link to that and other links to Aya's social media in

the show notes, also the book as well.

So have a look there and reach out to Aya and say, at least say hello.

All right, Aya, thank you so much for joining me today.

It's been a real pleasure having you on the show.

Thank you Janene.

It was really fun.

You're very welcome.

And to you, dear listener, thank you so much for being with us today.

We do appreciate that you are here.

Before you go, I want to remind you, if you're curious about what a fair

price is, you can always head on over to To have a look at getting to a fair

price, which is an on demand web class.

You'll find the link on my website under learn and we'll

put it in the show notes as well.

I wish you all the best.

Have a great day.

And as always enjoy pricing, everyone.