The 5 Pillars of Health (That Actually Fit Into Mom Life) with Stella Bergan

Scottie Durrett  0:00  
Welcome to the momplex Podcast. I am your host. Scotty durett, my passion and purpose is to help other moms just like me rediscover their joy and step into their confidence as their kids grow up, join me as I share my own experiences, my own mistakes and aha moments as I navigate this incredible journey of motherhood while trying not to lose my identity. If you are a modern day mama who is ready to live for herself, not just for her kids, and knows that is the best possible gift you could give, then you are in the right place. This is momplex.

Scottie Durrett  0:36  
I'm really excited to record today's conversation my special guest, Stella Bergen, she is okay. I'm gonna see if I can capture everything that you are, because you are so magnificent. But you're a Health and Human Performance Specialist. You are a coach who is up at the crack of dawn helping her clients transform their lives. You are a mom of four, and you are a cancer survivor and you are on a mission to really help people understand their own beautiful, unique journey and foundation of health so that they can have the information they need to make the best decisions for themselves, no matter what stage of life they're in, no matter what environment they grew up in, no matter where they're living today, but looking at health from more than one lens, and I think that's so refreshing, because you and I were just talking about it a second ago. I grew up, this was health, how much you should you should weigh on the scale, how, you know, how long you should hold that chin up in the Presidential Fitness rate, you know, award, and how good you look in a bikini, right? So it was a very surface level focus of health and to what you are really talking about and able to help it's so much more nuanced. It's so much more complex, but there's so much beauty when you can understand that. So please introduce yourself to my community. I'm so happy you're here.

Stella Bergen  2:00  
Hi. Yes, I'm Stella Bergen. I'm a health and human performance specialist or health and human performance coach, and I work with a variety of people, but I have a fair number of high performing Silicon Valley executives, a lot of moms. I work with teenagers. I mean, basically, if you have a goal and you're willing to work. I'm I'm here to help you out. Love it. Fatty knows I recently had cancer, which it kind of flipped my whole view of kind of health and health outcomes kind of flipped it upside down. So, you know, I've had a lot of thoughts about that since I went through cancer treatment. I'm just super happy to be on here with Scotty. I think the two of us could talk for hours.

Scottie Durrett  2:44  
We could you had mentioned that before, and I just want to dive into that first off, because here you are a pillar of health, and we're going to talk about your five pillars, but you yourself have always lived a very good, intentional, thoughtful life, right? And so you said, when you received that news right from your OBGYN that you had cancer, it kind of just pulled the rug out from underneath you, because it just two plus two didn't equal four in that moment, right? Yeah. How did that shift your perspective? And how have you carried that with you now? Because I think that's happening to a lot of women our age. We're doing all the things still, life keeps happening, and life is lifeing, and people are peopling, and it makes us feel discouraged, like, how do we learn from that and use it as information to help us move forward?

Stella Bergen  3:36  
It's fascinating, right? Because I probably have been living, I, you know, pretty healthy lifestyle since I was in my early 20s, definitely evolving. I kind of was always interested in health resources, like learning more about the body. I was an athlete. I was a big runner since I was probably 14, with little bit of break in there. I didn't run in college, but then I started running. I didn't run like my freshman sophomore in college, but then started running my junior in college, just for fun, like I gotta I want to start running again. So maybe a couple years in there I was not running, but maybe two or three. But otherwise, since I was 14, you know, eat a healthy diet. And, you know, eat a diet based on what the current science would say. And so, you know, I get, I get the news that I most likely had cancer, and I didn't know for sure until I had my hysterectomy. But, you know, I was shocked. I was like, first I had, I felt let down by my OB GYN, because they had not followed up with some tests they had ordered, and I kept asking and asking and asking and yeah, and they hadn't thought so it was one really disappointed. Felt let down by her, but then second, I just felt like I'd let myself down. Like, where had I failed myself? Like I didn't have signs of really strong signs of hormonal imbalance. I did have perimenopausal signs. Don't symptoms. I don't want to sound like I didn't, but they were never that great. I would have never thought about putting myself on hormone replacement because I get aura migraines. So I wouldn't really be a candidate anyway, but I felt like I was doing a great job of mitigating my symptoms through diet and exercise and other lifestyle choices. And so, you know, at first when I would read about uterine cancer, it was like, Oh, it comes from a imbalance of hormones. And I was like, what? How can my body have let me down like this, like it gave me no signs. But so I went through all of that, kind of like, upset with myself, upset with my IV. But then when I went back and talked to my OB oncologist, he was like, he, you know, he gets his head, looks at me in the camera, and like, you know, girl, you're not special. Like, get in line. Get in line. He's like, you can, you can do everything, right? But these are environmental. We know these cancers are environmental. And I think people need to know that a lot of these cancers are environmental. You can do everything right? It does not mean you are not going to get cancer, or that your body may not fail you in some way. And I what I came to is like I was so lucky. I bounced back really quickly from my hysterectomy. I went through my radiation, I don't want to say like a champ, but I didn't take, I was able to not take any pain medication or Lorazepam. Oh my gosh. It was like, right after White Lotus. And I was like, Oh, maybe I should take but I always had things to do. It was like, I had to go to prom for my senior. I had to, you know, not go to prom. But we had, like, my daughter, my youngest, was a senior, and I was like, I didn't want to miss anything. So miss anything, so I was like, I'm going to try this with that. And it was totally fine for me. Everyone's got to look out for themselves. But, you know, I kind of felt like, well, what it did offer me is that my body hadn't failed me, really, like our environment is failing us, quite frankly. Okay, what hadn't felt me was really my body handled my cancer treatment like a champ. So what you do gain by taking care of yourself is a greater awareness of what your body is able to do, how mentally strong you're able to be, how you're able to show up, whether that's tough having young kids and getting through the teenage years is it can be especially when you have multiple children. Even one child can be challenging if you haven't figured out how to kind of keep your nervous system balanced. You know, whether that's blood sugar balancing diet, whether that's through learning how, through breath, through breathing, making sure you're getting adequate hydration, whether that's just went through water or other hydration, or taking some electrolytes. I mean, there are all kinds of ways that we can now. We know that we can help kind of self regulate our nervous system, taking care of my body, helped me and my cancer treatment. I will tell you that I know that for a fact. Okay? I mean, I'm the only person in my entire family that's ever that's had cancer. No, not my grandparents, my parents, my sibling. You know, is it something here in Northern California? I mean, who knows, right? I mean, we do know these pockets of areas in Northern California that have high rates of certain cancers, like, I don't know, maybe all those chip manufacturers were dumping a lot of toxic waste and the water before it got regulated.

Scottie Durrett  8:32  
And I appreciate you being so honest and sharing your story. Two things I really do want to talk about. One is that environmental piece that you know, I know that you're very well versed in and it matters so much when you think about somebody's health, it is not just what we choose to do every single day. But with that said, I want to talk about like the direct impact that you taking care of yourself had on battling the environment and what your body had to address, because I know it's hard to wake up every single day and stick to the workout and stick to the hydration and the good foods, especially when you're not seeing the scale change or your energy. It's doing more for us, I think, than those immediate returns on our investment. So let's first talk about the environmental piece, because I know that's something that you really feel so strongly about. What are those environmental factors? And then how could somebody what are some ways for them to better their own environment if they're living in an area that isn't supportive of the healthiest

Stella Bergen  9:40  
lifestyle? Great question. Great way to phrase it. I think of it as like, if you've got circles, you know, if you're in the center of that circle, in terms of what you can control with your health, and maybe you can choose. You can control some of the choices you make, to a certain extent. But even moms with my young kids, let's say. You've got a mom who has two or three young kids, and you're on a budget, right? So I'm just going to put it you on you're on a budget, and, you know, you may not even really be making yourself your own meal, because in order to save money, you're just making your kids something and you're just eating the leftovers. I know mom said on a budget that that do this, but, you know, we just thrown out like, how complex and nuanced, you know, this idea of health is. So first we have, like these big circle outer which, you know, we want to make sure we have clean air, clean water, clean food, clean and nutrient dense soil, right? So if you just start with with that, and basically, you also need a place to live, like you need housing. You need access, maybe even to some type of transportation, even if that's a bicycle. But you know, so those are, like your kind of basic, your foundation blocks, right? Like kind of physiological needs, so, and some of those are bigger than us, right? Like, we all like to think we have clean air, but you don't know unless you go on to your state, local, county. I think most many places you can actually go into your county, you can find your air quality. How do we know what particles are in our air? I mean, most of us are in the health space. Have some knowledge of glyphosate, and how you know glyphosate is now and the air we breathe. And if you guys aren't familiar, glyphosate is the main chemical, and roundup with what was Roundup, which has now been sold to Bayer, which is called, like, ladies liberty, or Liberty something. I can't remember what the name of it is, but Right? So we have all these chemicals in our air that we don't even know are in our air, and then same thing in our water that you can put a water purifier on your water, but it's quite expensive to put a water purifier on your water, and really at the end of the day, most of us feel like our local government and local and state governments should be doing this at least service by at least making sure our water is clean, right? But once again, you don't really know, unless you go on and look at what's in your water. And I'm pretty sure that information has to be public, but I say that, and I've never accessed it, so I'm just saying, you know, but you know, and obviously you can go buy a Brita filter. You know, you can buy pretty inexpensive water filters, but still they are extra, extra costs. Right? Our soil, we all know our soil has been depleted for years and years, which is why now there's so much talk about electrolytes and taking minerals. And what most people don't realize is the reason we're all wanting to take minerals is because the minerals aren't in the soil, so therefore the minerals are not getting in the food we eat, to the extent and never forget, hopefully the momplex does not forget, supplementation is supplemental to your diet. Nothing can replace eating having a good, healthy, nutritious diet. No supplement will replace that, right? So once again, if we had, if our soil was nutrient rich, we wouldn't need I mean, the supplement market is out of control. It is out of control. I mean, if you're spending $300 a month on supplements, but your diet is crummy, you need to take a look at your diet, right? Because you could spend much less, and you could just get rid of some of your supplements. I take supplements. I'm not anti supplement at all. It is supplemental, like supplements need, not a replacement, yeah, not a replacement, right? And so once again, if our soil, if we just start there, that's why we've got these big circles on the outside that most people don't have control over in their health space. That's why health making, you know, and trying to make not just one person healthier, but in the vast span of you know, the greater community and the greater population healthy. Why it is very complex and very nuanced, right? Because we need to have some of these basic needs met before we can say, you know, let's make sure that you now are going to the Getting your fresh fruits and vegetables so and let's talk about whether those fresh fruits and vegetables are even available in some communities. If you live in a community, one, you know, I think getting outside is, you know, like, we can talk about a like, getting outside and getting fresh air and getting sunlight, but there's a lot of places where that's not even, you know, think about if you live in Houston in the summer, I mean, and you're basically going walking through these tunnels all the time, right? I mean, it's fascinating, because what we don't realize is, I mean, we're very fortunate. We live in an area where we have ample sunshine and we do have clean air for the most part. Our water supply is pretty decent, but, like, we don't. Have that in a good in many places in the country, and, you know, and we should, yeah, I think once you get outside of that community space in terms of, you know, these are things that should be available to everyone, and they're regulated by the government. They're either regulated or they're not regulated adequately by the government in order to ensure that we have those things. When you get outside of there, then you start looking at like now, do you have access to healthy food? Do you have access to fruits and vegetables? Do you have access to beans and legumes? You have access to good sources of healthy proteins? Can you walk? Right? Like, are you physically able to walk? But also, do you have spaces that are safe? So that would be, like, safety needs would come second. If someone lives in a unsafe neighborhood, you certainly can't ask them to get out and walk every day, right? I just, that's why I said. It's just so kind of nuanced and complicated, yeah, just within those kind of building blocks of what people's needs are. So let's make sure, you know, people's needs are met. And then let's talk about like, can you get out and walk? What can you do? Can you move your body in a smaller space? You live in an apartment? Let's figure out what you can do. What's even doable, you know, with them, and within that space, everyone just doesn't have the same access,

Scottie Durrett  16:27  
you know. And I appreciate the the truth of it, because I don't want people to just make those assumptions that how right everybody's 24 hours could look very different, right, right? But if we can reframe it, having that awareness, getting curious, going out and actually paying attention, getting curious. How is the water in your neighborhood? Are there safe hiking trails that you could get to safely with your kids? You know, what if you went out at 745, in the morning and got your vitamin D before nine o'clock when it got super duper hot, right? Or, you know, when you hear about people choosing if they're in that office all day long under the fluorescent lights, could you, even if you don't like could you replace your chair with one of those exercise balls, or just tap one of your calls and walk around the halls of your office? So we're not, I agree with you. We're not say I, and I talked to my moms about this all the time when I'm trying to share tools with them to help my you know, manage their burnout and heal their nervous system. It's not that the solution is only in an expensive spa day or a weekend vacation. We're talking about, what can you do that fits into your life, that feels good to you, that's going to offer you some remedies to some of these challenges going on. And I think what you're doing is really shining a light on some things, because, say, her house is locked and loaded, she's she, you know, she's got the best of the best inside her refrigerator. She has that Brita filter. She's doing all the right things, but yet she's still not feeling that great. Great. Is it a mineral deficiency? You know, right? Is the soil not what you think it is? Are you getting enough vitamin D? So I love how you're just, it is awareness something that is bigger than than us? It is, you know, we have to include the world outside of our four walls, right? I do

Stella Bergen  18:17  
think with young moms, like, if, like, just on the topic of young moms, if we just look at what's going on in their world, you know, you're they're trying to manage so many things. And being a young mom, it's physically and emotionally just taxing, because it's just kind of non stop. Yeah, I do think looking at hydration, I mean, obviously, you know, sleep, sleep is huge. A lot of young ladies just don't get sleep, and a lot of us think we can. I mean, I did. I thought I could operate. I was like, I thought I was fine. I mean, I don't think I got a great night's sleep. I don't know for how long it was, just so

Scottie Durrett  18:56  
it's really long, dozen years. Maybe it's just

Stella Bergen  18:59  
not okay. It's not good, right? Like, all those things make your your sympathetic nervous, nervous system kind of on overdrive, right? So you just feel like you're a little bit always on the edge. I think, you know, young, young moms, right? It makes you feel like you know you're like, why am I anxious? Well, you're anxious probably because you're not sleeping well, you may not be getting, you know, exercise. And I think to your what you were pointing out, even if we can help those young moms think of it as like, movement snacks that you don't need to get. Actually, in some ways, you're you're better off doing two minutes of exercise 10 times a day, then going out and doing 20 minutes of exercise and then staying stressed out the rest of the day, right? Like so like movement snacks, right? So even if you get you can probably get your kids to do some movement snacks with you for two to three minutes, right? So even if you just break it down, like. Get your, like, do some jumping jacks, even, like, even if you got your baby do some side lunges and push that baby out, you know, away. Or, like, lift that baby up, squat down, lift the baby up. And, like, just set a timer two to three minutes. Do it. Two to three minutes, you will feel so much better. You, you know, I used to try to do I it's just like, my kids are little. I used to be like, meditate time. Okay, let me just tell you, it didn't work. So don't like, I'm not, I am not here to I mean, my kids would be busting on me so bad right now, but I tried, and like, all my kids would do would be like, like, just to make fun of me, right? But I tried. I tried to be like, let's all take a rest break and do our breathing exercises. And anyway, it didn't really work. But I think if you started young, like, yeah, I was trying when mine were more in that snarky ish, like, ish years. I think if you started young, like the younger you start the things work better, quite frankly. So I'm hoping some of these moms and the momplex, there's still time for them. There's

Scottie Durrett  21:13  
still time. I love how you described it as a movement snack, though, that like, yeah, walk around the block.

Stella Bergen  21:20  
Yes, absolutely if, if you did movement snacks on and off all day. I'm just telling you, you're really better off than the person who's going out to do a three mile run in the morning and then they're sitting all day long. Yeah, I'm a big fan of movement snacks, especially for super busy people.

Scottie Durrett  21:38  
I love it. You know you're being it's really because you've said before, it's it's nuanced, and I think health is not black and white, and you mentioned that before. I know one of your biggest missions, really, is to help create so much awareness for how people are living, but also give themselves grace. Wait,

Stella Bergen  21:56  
I just want to say one thing. I'm a big fan of the hair tissue mineral analysis. So I'm glad you mentioned the that was my other thing for young, for moms, in the thick of it, nervous system regulation. So whether that's blood sugar balancing diet, making sure you're looking at your hydration and looking at your breathing, those are like big three in terms of nervous system regulation. And two is, is, if you are going down that path and you are trying different things, and you just feel like you're not getting the results you want, I would definitely think about doing a hair tissue mineral analysis, because you just don't know what heavy metals, what like that. Those are things that your blood tests from your doctor are just not showing you. And so I did one. I know it's probably been a couple years ago through by con, v, Y, K O N, it was the company, and it was the H, T, M, a, the hair tissue mineral analysis. And I think you can do it independently with them. You don't have to have a doctor, anyone. They are kind of a full service that you can go on. They'll, they send you the little kit, like you, okay, you snip a little bit of your hair and send it in, and then they analyze it. And then you get to, I think you get to one or two meetings with a practitioner, and then they go over it with you, and then they actually will do customized minerals. It's not cheap, but I felt like it was, you know, if you are a mom who's not getting the results, it is a tool you could use to see if there is something in there you're missing, the Vicomte you can do on your own. The other one I would recommend for your listeners, would to do a gut test. To do the sample sample, usually you have to go through a health practitioner. I think they may have like Everly wells. There's so many different companies now that have home tests you can do. That would be the other one, just to see if you're missing something in your gut. But anyway, I just wanted to throw that out there because I do think those are valuable. I appreciate

Scottie Durrett  24:05  
that so much because I I personally experienced some incredible frustration going to my, you know, regular doctor out here, who basically just said, Well, you're a woman. This is this is just how you're supposed to feel. And I've always had very high expectations for myself and for my life, and I don't want to throw in the towel. I don't want to feel like this forever. And sometimes when you do the labs, they just are looking, oh, yeah, your iron is within range. Well, is it in within range? For me, it might be low for me, even though it's it's in within range for 330 million people, you know. So I appreciate this, because it's it's as hard as it is, and I know my my parents, actually, they always make fun of me for buying organic and going to the farmers market and being so hyper fixated on what we're putting in our bodies. And. And and, you know, I joke with them, but I'm like, It's not the same food that you were feeding me, and it's not and I think you just really explained it so well, the soil, let's talk about just the basics. The soil isn't the same. What's being sprayed on the products isn't the same. And so we are not actually eating the same thing. So it makes sense that our bodies have not evolved for the changes in the food, right? So we want to make sure that we're gathering enough information. How is this affecting me? And so I these. These are great. I'm going to, I'll find the links that, and I'll be sure to put all of this in the show notes so you can access it. But that's great. So I want to talk to you because you you bring it up your five pillars, and I know this is really important in the foundation of your own work and how you support your clients. Talk to me about that. Let's break it down. What are the five pillars and how you landed on them?

Stella Bergen  25:55  
So my five pillars are, I basically put it in the simple form, eat, sleep, move, breathe and connect. Those are right, and I they're not really that different than, you know, you probably could find them on hubermans, or, you know, other people. They might, they might state it slightly different, or they may categorize them slightly different. But, you know, even the Blue Zones book, I think it's, you know, it's kind of similar in terms of what they found in these blue zones, or what people were doing that were was kind of leading them to have this wonderful, long lifespan free of disease, right? But those are mine. So, eat a nutritious diet. And I think, you know, I always say, eat them. Eat the most nutritious diet that you can do consistently, day in and day out. And I think back to your point a minute ago, the key really, to getting healthier, being healthier or trying to make some changes, is first and foremost. Self Awareness is just really be honest with yourself, there's no judgment here, like there's always someone who's gonna have better habits than you, and there's a lot of people out there who's are far worse. So there's no judgment. I mean, when I first started my business, I would literally have friends of mine trying to hide their shopping carts in Trader Joe's, and I was like, I'm really

Scottie Durrett  27:20  
not. I'm not I'm not judging you. I probably

Stella Bergen  27:24  
judge me for what is in my cart. I kind of operate by the 8020 rule. So my kids make fun of me that we're an ingredient household, but I do buy healthy snacks. We have probably more than some and less. So we're human, right? So I kind of operate by that. If you, if you can get your 80% right, you've got a lot of grace in your 20% love that, yep, always say self awareness with grace, right? You want to be as self aware as you can about what you're actually doing, but you want to give yourself grace. There is no guilt, there's no shame, there is no judgment. Guilt, shame and judgment will keep you from ever doing anything better than you're doing today, right? So, so self awareness with grace and then really, you know, it's just important take a look at, like, what you're actually eating. I mean, I try to limit my sweets, but that, but I'll go through like, I'll come back from vacation where I've started eating dessert every night because we're eating out and, like, pretty soon, I'm, like, three weeks down the road, and I'm like, Why are my jeans a little tight? You know, where? Like, I could say it's menopause, right? I mean, I could easily tell myself, like, oh my gosh, I'm almost 60. This is just how it's going to be. But if I'm really honest with myself, it's always because I had just gone down that road of self indulgence. Like, and it's not one day or two days, but it will be over a course of weeks. And then I'm like, I have to, like, straighten myself back up. Like, okay. Like, let's just get back on the horse here. But so self awareness with Grace is, you know, the key to first step and then one, just take a good look at, like, what you're what you really are eating, day in and day out. And are you eating a nutritious diet? Are you getting, I mean, so back to your to your momplex, to your mom's out there. Like, I try to do things in a simple way. I'm not one here to tell you to go eat X number grams of protein and this and look at your macros. And if you need that help, that's great. Like, there is definitely that help out there. I think nutrition should be simple, and I'm definitely kind of a fan of the Michael Pollan, eat real food, mostly plants, not a lot I eat. I don't I eat a well balanced diet. I eat hamburgers, I eat steak, I eat chicken, I eat lots of plants, lots and lots of ice. I've been vegetarian. I tried being vegan. I've tried a lot of different. Things. I've tried keto. I've tried a lot of different things. You know, I'm not keto at all, but I don't eat. I try to stay away from I'm gluten free, so it kind of keeps me away from eating too many kind of processed carbs. Is a lot of them have gluten in them, but I try to eat, I would say, a mostly plant based diet with good sources of lean protein, or, you know, protein in there. But anyway, so really look at what you what you're eating. Take a hard look, you know, the easiest way. Sorry, I got a little off track, but the easiest way is protein, fat and fiber. So if you are balancing protein fat and fiber, that is your key to maintaining your blood sugar balance. You want protein, fat and fiber at every meal and snack as best you can. So whether you're eating drinking a smoothie, you can do protein, fat and fiber you just have to have when you make a smoothie, you need to throw a handful of spinach in there. Or you can do cauliflower rice you have, you have to have something that's going to retain, retain that cellulose, the fiber. Once you have blended the smoothie up, fruit will not it's done like it turns to sugar, and you really need to reduce the amount of sugar. Add your protein powder, whatever type of milk you've got going on there. You need to add like chia or flax, and I often add, like, a tablespoon of almond butter or some nut butter to mine. But once again, you want to make sure it's protein fat and fiber,

Scottie Durrett  31:30  
you know. And I love how you said it, too. It's the protein fat and fiber. We all want to look freaking amazing, and we all want to be able to wear the clothes. But you're talking about blood sugar balance. And I think that's a huge shift in the health focus that has happened in the last decade. It's like, it's not really about restricting calories. It's like, how's your blood sugar? And I think that's a huge piece of awareness that a lot of people are not noticing. I

Stella Bergen  31:58  
think, though it's two things, because if you're trying to lose weight, it's still, I hate to say it, you still have to have a deficit there, right? Yeah, yeah, caloric deficit. I haven't counted calories since I was, I don't know in college, when you know the time we grew up, I'm with you. I mean, I, I felt like it was the same messages, right? But I think the thing when you when you're looking at protein, fat and fiber, protein and fat just make you fall faster and keep you feeling they keep you satiated for longer, and fiber as well. So I think that combination just leads you to eat last quite less. Okay, because you're filling your nutritional needs and as well as you've got the fiber, it's slowing things down. You're getting full protein. You just get a big bang for your buck nutritionally, yeah, I think you just kind of end up probably eating a little better. I mean, I don't know if you've seen those studies, there's just a there was a recent study where they looked at they I forgot how long this study was. It couldn't be that long because it were probably deemed not safe for humans, but maybe it was like four to six weeks. I'm not sure. I'm gonna get it right. I read the study, but I'm gonna forget. But basically they they took one group and they gave them a healthy like, what's considered like a protein, fat and fiber, healthy plants, legumes and pro and lean protein, and then the other had a more processed based food diet. They basically their nutritional requirements were met, so they could eat as much as they wanted, but within what they were given, those macros and micros were met, but one was given pretty much all fresh healthy food. The other was given more of a processed base, but the nutritional requirements were the same, and the group with the processed food on average, ate 500 calories a day, more than the fresh food.

Scottie Durrett  33:56  
Interesting, because it was spiking their blood sugar.

Stella Bergen  33:59  
I don't know if it was spiking their blood sugar or just, it just was with the sugar and the salt and the got it, you know, it was just, it's more addictive, it doesn't it's not satisfying, right? It's not your body. It's not telling your body, like, Ooh, you're being nourished, you know, in the same way

Scottie Durrett  34:17  
when we're talking about eating. And I know your other four pillars, but I know that the food and the nutrition is just such a struggle, and it's a trigger point for especially busy moms. What's it like? What are some easy ways for her to monitor her blood sugar, or to know notice if she's spiking it or not? Are there anything she should be aware of?

Stella Bergen  34:38  
I mean, you can get a Dexcom like you can buy a glucose monitor. I think it's a great tool. You're not going to wear it forever, but you can get a Dexcom make some I wore one for a couple of months. I did it through levels, but you can. It's cheaper if you just buy it through Dexcom. I'm not sure they are yet, but pretty soon, CVS is going to sell them. I'm. Probably sure they're just, yeah, yeah. Like, you can just go to CVS and buy them and then use, basically, they have a QR code. You load the app, you you basically scan the QR code that comes with the with the glucose monitor, you wear it, and then you do the read on your phone. And I think you know, for the vast majority of people, if you do not have diabetes or pre diabetes, you don't really have blood sugar regulation problems, you're going to stay within a within a much more narrow range. Your blood sugar is going to go up and down based on what you eat. But you're, you're not going to have these, like, big, you know, spikes up and down. But if you really want to know, I mean, if you're the type of person who fasts in the morning, and then you drink black coffee, you know, and you're not doing anything else, you kind of wonder, like, is this spiking my blood sugar? Like, am I maintaining? I think a Dexcom is a great tool. I mean, you will see, like, if you have an empty stomach and you eat ice cream, like, you'll watch it. Yeah, right. But then you can play around with it. You can see, you know, like I said, either it's a fun tool for your average mom, she may not have the time, but if you wear it, it will, it'll ding you if it's your blood sugar's too high

Scottie Durrett  36:14  
or low, the eating. And then you also talk about the Sleep, sleep so

Stella Bergen  36:18  
important, like, you know, and I get it like, when you're, you have young kids, it's so their sleep is, can be very difficult. But, you know, even if you can take like, a 24 minute cat nap, I do think when you sleep at night, that's when you're, you know, you think about it's when your brain kind of flushes out the toxins and kind of restores itself. So you want to get I don't know what the I think it for most people, seven is kind of my magic number, but for some people, it's somewhere between seven and nine, so you stick to eight. But whatever your magic number is, you know, you want to strive for that consistently. Once again, it's what you do. It's not what you do one or two nights. It's what you do consistently, day in day out, and that's where you really need to be honest with yourself, and then move. It's really just movement. It's, I mean, especially like when you've got so many other things going on as a young mom, especially, you know, if you're whether you're a stay at home mom, whether you're a part time working mom, whether you're a full time working mom with young kids, you know you want to be able to move your body in a way that works with your schedule. What's doable for you and what what you can do consistently, and whether that's movement snacks, or maybe you're a full time working mom, and you just try to look at, how can I get in more movement a day, and whether that's taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I mean, all those little things that people have told us for years, they actually do work, yeah, whether it's like walking on your lunch break, walking to, you know, pick up your lunch or, you know, walking to go, you know, it's just like trying to get some type of movement in regularly. For some working people joining an exercise group, whether it's like a one club, so that you have someone a couple days a week, you could, you know, run with after work. I know it's hard, because you also want to get home to your kids. I was that mom, so I I know how trying to fit in that little bit of exercise even, you know, three days a week, it can be hard.

Scottie Durrett  38:27  
I agree, and I, you know, for the longest time, I really did put off my own mental and physical health in the name of my kids. You know, I'll focus on myself later, right? Or I'll have more time when my kids are older. And now I have kind of an interesting spread, because I've got two high schoolers and an elementary school age kid. I'm teetering on both sides. I'm not any less busy just because my kids are older, it's a different energy output right now. They're out driving, or they're out later than curfew, or they're getting you know, so you still might not sleep, but for different reasons, or you still might be distracted. And so one thing that helped me is sharing my goals with my kids. Mom is trying to, you know, improve her health. She wants to sleep better. She wants to eat better. So can I get your support? I'm going to run three days a week, and the more I shared with them, the more I guess the less threatened they felt by me not being with them. And they kind of got involved, you know, they would follow me around and say, Oh, you haven't, you haven't finished your water, mom or you know, you know, and they kind of became this team effort. And I noticed that even when I told that to my kid when he was nine, he got it. I didn't have to, you know, I think they're so much more capable. So to your point, starting early is only going to pay you back, you know. And then they learn those healthy habits from us, right? Then they choose, mom's taking the stairs instead of the escalator, you know, mom's eating a peach today and not snacking on Cheez Its. I love a good cheez it. I'm. Knocking that. But all I know

Stella Bergen  40:02  
something's that 8020 right? 80% you got some grease on that? 20?

Scottie Durrett  40:10  
Yeah, don't think I didn't eat my way through grease, like at every gelato stand we stopped every single

Stella Bergen  40:17  
one I love, buy in. I mean, for many reasons, one, I do think it works, like I always like when people are struggling to know how to like. There, I have one client who, she's a fabulous mom. She has young kids and but I her her oldest can definitely be challenging, super smart, right? Like, smarty, smart girl, and she can be a little challenging. And I, I always say, like, have you asked her, like, like, get her buy in like, so I'm struggling with this. What do you think you know about it, right? Like, flip it on its head. And I love that, like, with your kids and just, you know, to share with them, like Mommy is really trying to get some more sleep, you know. And I'm wondering, I'm hoping you guys can help me. Do you guys have any ideas for ways you guys could help me? You know? I think when you have younger kids, it's great. I think when you get that, like 1011, 12, 1314, you have to, you know what you said? It's just, you know, Mommy is is trying to get some more sleep, and I really need you to help me by, you know, blah, blah, blah. Do you think you can do that, right? You know? But I love that. I love the buying because I think it also makes them feel included and makes them feel important.

Scottie Durrett  41:37  
We got to give our kids more credit. I think sometimes, like, actually push them to rise up to meet us right, that they will understand. And then, like you said, with the shame and the guilt and the judgment, when you get your kids buy in, then that mom guilt will dip. So when you are working out your choosing, instead of going straight home, you're gonna go walk around the block or go, you know, do your running club. You're like, Wait, my kids are they know what I'm doing, and I'm gonna be so much more patient. I'm gonna sleep better. That's gonna make me show up even better for them, you know, like, it's all cut. Talk about the environment, right? Like, that's your environment.

Stella Bergen  42:16  
I think it's okay just to tell your kids. Like, you know what? One thing I noticed about me is I am able to be more present with you. I'm able to have to be, you know, have my mood is better. I'm more present with you. I'm like when I do these things, because taking care of my body makes me feel better. And when I feel better, I'm more there for you. And I think like helping them, because you want them to also understand that taking care of their body will make them feel better, you know, just but I think all of that, like being as honest and transparent with our kids and getting their buy in, I think it's, you know, we sometimes are just, I mean, I was so guilty of this, like going through the motions, you know, when they were little, and you just, all you want is, like, I just want 15 minutes to go exercise, and then all of a sudden your energy gets wonky, and then it's like, their energy responds, and then all of a sudden, you've got just, you know, it's like, things get more tense. And you know when, really, I do think exactly what you said, if we can just slow down, take a deep breath and like, you know what? Actually, mommy just needs to take care of herself right now. Like, yeah, what do you know? Yeah, I love that. It doesn't always so nothing always works all the time.

Scottie Durrett  43:44  
Nothing always works but the self awareness, you know, stepping back and kind of looking at it, I always say there's no such thing as failure. It's all feedback, right? Just what was the feedback that we got? Right? And how can you use it? And you talk about your breath, and then connection is your last two pillars.

Stella Bergen  44:02  
Breathing is super important. I don't know. I think it's James Nester that. He's a Stanford talk that wrote the book breathe, and I it's a great one to read. Yeah, and just on the importance of nasal breathing and and they're all kinds of breathing exercises. I'm not going to get to read James masters book. He's much smarter in that area than I am, but I spent years, like changing the way, trying to start even when I was running breathing through my nose and and there's a handful of things I did over the years where I really didn't my diet didn't change that much, but I watched as my immune system got better over the years, And I do think the nasal breathing was, is one of them where I just okay, became more aware of my breath and breathing through my nose. I think the other was drinking salty lemon water first thing in the morning, hydrating before dehydrating. I mean breathing super important. The other one is connection. So your relationship. It's just connecting with nature, connecting with your family, your friends. There's people who, you know, healthy relationships are super important. And I know we were talking about this before we went on where, you know, health is super nuanced and and there's always something in my field, I've watched it for years, that is like, it's like the golden egg of the week, right? Whether right now it's, it's protein, right? Protein, protein, protein. I'm like, how many people are going to end up with kidney disease? Like, stop telling people to eat so much protein. I am not anti protein. But you can look at all the studies. People who a eat a plant based, vegan diet can maintain as much muscle mass as people who eat, you know, full on beef diet, whatever. I'm not, don't quote me on that because, but there just was that study that came out with

Scottie Durrett  45:52  
and there was a series on that too, yeah, I also

Stella Bergen  45:56  
know, I mean, we know all these athletes who are plant based that do find they maintain. So I mean, once again, I'm not. I also have tried to, what I do, try to do is buy my protein, fat and fiber, and I do try to break my fast in the morning with protein, not protein with that combination. So however, I think this over focus on protein like it's some magic cure for everything, and that's where I was going. Not that it's not important. Once again, I think balancing your protein, fat and fiber and making sure you're getting adequate protein in each meal is important. I'm just not a fan of that. Taking something and making it like it's a magic cure all for everything. I think it's protein right now, and I think we've also gotten on this alcohol is poison, which it is. I'm not here to dispute that in any shape or form, but we do a lot of things, our air. We could also argue that our air is poison. So there's a lot of things in this world that we're doing that are somewhat deemed poisonous, and I'm not a fan of being a teetotaler or being a heavy drinker. I'm not telling you what to do once again, no guilt, shame or judgment. But when I you look at these populations where they're very healthy and I think what they do have is this strong sense of community. And I think, you know, we had covid, I think all of us have, just like everyone was, kind of struggling to rebuild, kind of their sense of community. And I think connection is super important. And I think if you are sitting down at the end of the day with your friends or your significant other and sharing a glass of wine and talking about your day, and that is really important to you as a way to connect. I am not going to tell you to go make that mocktail and and change it. I just, I think that we have to really be real about or be, you know, self aware about what we are doing and what we're getting out of it, and how it's either, you know, it's either working for us or it's not working for us. And I think you can take that, those five things, and kind of go through them one by one, and just kind of analyze where you're at with those, yeah. And what I would say is just try to make, you know, always say, try to do, you know, a little bit better each week. So even if that's 1% 2% 10% just try to do a little bit better each week. So that might be one small thing, like, I'm going to drink one extra glass of water a day, right? It can be super small. Small things can have a profound impact on your health, or, Oh yeah, I'm gonna take 20 minute nap. When my kids are napping, right? You may feel like a changed person. I'm gonna do a hair tissue mineral analysis, because you can't figure out what is, and then, you know, maybe change up something. So I think

Scottie Durrett  48:57  
you know, and I appreciate it, because you talk a lot about someone's foundation. Yeah, right. You want to have that strong foundation, foundation. And I mean the eating, the sleeping, the movement, the breath, the breathing, the connection, that's someone's Foundation, right? And some, you know. And I think that gives everybody talk about grace, because it takes the pressure off of one of those things being the cure all, the fix it all. But you know, right now, I'm I'm 48 a couple of things have happened in the last 12 months that were unexpected, traumatic experiences for me. So how I was living two years ago, that's not really what my body needs right now. You know, my body needs some more sleep. It needs some more kind movement. It needs some more height. You know, there's Yeah. So my days might look really different today than they looked 1218, months ago. You know, the the shiny object syndrome is going on so much right now. If you take this patch or this shot, or this thing, all of. Your problems will be fixed. Maybe for a moment they might right, but we're not really balancing that with the foundation right. I think what you're really your foundation. Get your foundation, because that's where your support is, right.

Stella Bergen  50:13  
I have this friend who she had a whole movement in LA her motto was, kind of keep your foundation strong and your heart open. Oh, I love that. I love that expression, right? And, and your foundation really should be kind of looking at those, you know, pillars of health. That should be your foundation of health. And, yeah, obviously we all keep our heart open, yeah. I mean, you know, we just like talking about these nuances, you know, of health, it's like, so I'll give you two examples. One is intermittent fasting. Okay, everybody should be going 12 hours without food, whether, I mean, that's that is considered intermittent intermittent fasting, but it should be most, mostly doable for everyone. Unless you've got blood sugar issues, you're, you know, where you may need to not go 12 hours without food. But for a while, this was maybe pre covid. It was obviously the hot topic in Silicon Valley. I mean, everybody was talking about intermittent fasting. Everybody should be intermittent fasting. And I'm not like, I probably do a little bit of intermittent fasting, but intermittent fasting. But intermittent fasting is really not for it's not there certain like perimenopausal when you're in the thick of it with your kids. I'm not sure intermittent fasting is right for that for probably for a lot of your population, because it may drive that your sympathetic, nervous, right? And and so once again, it's not for everyone, but I still remember one of my clients, she's super high level Silicon Valley executive. She showed up and she'd been a dinner party the night before, and she said that is all the entire table talked

Scottie Durrett  51:54  
about. Was intermittent fasting the whole time, full of

Stella Bergen  51:58  
Silicon Valley powerhouses, and that was all they talked about. They talked about, right? And I so I do, that's my point of, like, there's always some golden egg that everybody it's gonna cure all, you know, your issues. But it's like, if you are intermittent fasting, but in that window, you're not eating a nutrition, nutritionally sound diet, like, I'm sorry your intermittent fasting is not going to save you. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's the same. It's like, you know, we can take out seed oils, but if, if you're eating mostly processed food, that seed oils in the food is not really going to make that big of a difference. The problem is the fact that you're over consuming nutrient void food. It's not the seed oils, right? And I'm not like, Absolutely, let's get rid of the seed oils, but, but it's not there's too much focus on the seed oils, instead of, like, making healthy food available for everyone, right, right, right, right. So it's like, we're just missing the point. It's like everyone focus, you know, gets laser focused on one thing that that's going to solve all our problems. And it's like, no, we really need to keep our eye on this foundation and the bigger picture and making this accessible to many more people.

Scottie Durrett  53:10  
Yeah, I love it, and I you and I could talk forever, because we didn't even tap on, you know, mindset, and we didn't really tap too much, you know, because that's also going to motivate or unmotivate Somebody you work with, you know, clients and their teens all the way to the CEOs running Silicon Valley. And I know you do help support with mindset and

Stella Bergen  53:34  
have a few retired 80 year olds. Love it. Love it.

Scottie Durrett  53:37  
That's what I want to be. I want to be that. Where can my listeners connect with you, or dive deeper and learn more about your work.

Stella Bergen  53:44  
Everyone can find me at Stella fit, calm, www, dot Stella fit, calm. I'm on Instagram. It's Stella fit, official. I'm on LinkedIn. I'm Stella Taylor. Bergen on LinkedIn. I used to be on Twitter. I got off because it was not helping my own mental health boundaries. There are, like, I have everyone. So I'm like, oh, kind of wish I was on Twitter. But then I'm like, I don't I'm good, but you can find me there. You can email me through my website. So if you want to contact me, you can always email me through my website. So

Scottie Durrett  54:18  
okay, I'll put all that in the show notes, I really appreciate it, because it's when we're talking about the foundation. You're really helping people see their health through more than one lens, and that is how we can become the most supportive of our bodies. I think one of the most best educations is self education, right? It's just like understanding where you are, what you need and where you want to go, right and what's missing, maybe

Stella Bergen  54:45  
even like, why you make the choices your mind you make the choice once again, self awareness with grace. Self awareness with grace. Moms need to give themselves grace. Yes, we carry way too much on our Yeah. You know, we just. Very too much on our shoulders. I mean, we'll finish with this. I love I listened to, it was a Huberman lab podcast with Dr Becky. You can find it on there. I think she's been on their future. She has, yeah, and I wish I had had Dr Becky when my kids were young, but I still remember her saying, like she had this. She said, You know, you tell yourself I'm a good mom. I just made a bad choice. But it doesn't mean like you make one bad choice. We all make bad choices, like we all do things and say things for kids that later were like, what was going on with me? You know, I'm a good mom. I just not taking care of my body as best I can right now. That doesn't mean you're a bad mom, doesn't mean you're a bad person. Doesn't mean you're like, there's nothing. It's just, I love that self talk, you know, just one owning the fact that you're a good mom, you're a good human. But self awareness goes a long way. Own the fact that of your goodness, but accept the fact that our goodness comes with flaws. You know, give yourself grace, but if you can't recognize the flaws, we can't make strides forward.

Scottie Durrett  56:08  
Well, thank you so much for coming on today. Thank you for having me. Yeah, this was a wonderful conversation. Yeah, and you're going to come back, because we, I think we barely, we barely scratched the surface. So thank

Stella Bergen  56:17  
you chatting to one of my superpowers,

Scottie Durrett  56:19  
connection. We just took care of a pillar. There we go.

Stella Bergen  56:22  
Yes, connecting is one of my superpowers.

Scottie Durrett  56:30  
Hey, Mama, thank you so much for listening before you dive back into the beautiful chaos of your life, please take this with you. You're doing better than you think. You are not alone, and you do not have to do this on autopilot. If this episode helped you in any way, please share it with a mom who needs to hear it, because we grow faster when we do it together. And if you have a second leaving a five star review helps momplex reach more mamas who need this kind of real talk and support. If you want more support and guidance or just someone in your corner, be sure to visit scottyderette.com to learn more, get in touch with me or dive deeper into this work, until next time. Mom, Trust yourself, trust your gut. You already know what to do, and you are exactly the mama your kids need. I love you. I'll see you next time you.