84 Chuck Norris Jokes

Yes, you read that correctly. Chuck Norris is 84 years old. He was born Carlos Ray Norris on March 10, 1940. And believe it or not, his mother is still alive and well.



We here at Geekville Radio have searched the internet for 84 Chuck Norris Facts to celebrate the man’s 84th birthday. We will then do a movie marathon of Delta Force, Lone Wolf McQuade, Code Of Silence, Walker Texas Ranger, and the Karate Kommandos animated series.








* Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.



* Chuck Norris has counted to Infinity. Twice.



* Chuck Norris protects Earth from asteroids by batting them back out into space with a redwood tree trunk. The asteroid that killed the dinosaurs was high and outside, so he checked his swing.



* Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.



* The city was going to rename one of their streets after Chuck. They opted not to after they realized nobody could cross Chuck Norris.



* Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat Death, He wins fair and square.



* Jesus walks on water. Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.



* The path of greatest resistance is through Chuck Norris.



* Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.



* If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you.



* Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.



* When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.



* How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.



* A picture is worth 1,000 words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1,000 pictures.



* Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is at ALL TIMES.



* Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.



* Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.



* Chuck Norris once watched the tape from The Ring. When the girl climbed out of the TV and saw it was Chuck Norris, she climbed back in and turned the TV off.



* Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.



* Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.



* Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.



* Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.



* Chuck Norris bowls overhand.



* Chuck Norris doesn’t play “hide-and-seek.” He plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.”



* Before Chuck Norris was born, nunchucks were called nunbobs. Nobody knows what happened to Bob.



* Frost gets Chucknorrisbite.



* The Bermuda Triangle used to be The Bermuda Square until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.



* Chuck Norris can burn fire.



* Medusa lost a staring contest with Chuck Norris.



* Rice Krispies don’t go snap, crackle, and pop when Chuck is around. They say “shhhhh here he comes!”



* Chuck Norris cured leprosy just by giving it the fing...