Stefani Monn-House of Hope, episode 145

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If you love a prodigal, you can discover help and hope for your world on this journey right here,

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and when you love a prodigal podcast. And also help and hope for your own life journey.

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Most of us, as we encounter challenges with our loved ones, try to handle it by ourselves.

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But as time goes on, we often need more help, maybe professional counseling or medical attention,

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some kind of intervention, spiritual guidance, various kinds of programs could all come into play

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to get help that you might need. If you've listened often to this podcast, you know,

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we eventually placed our son in a local residential program called House of Hope,

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that we as his parents also participated in. It was helpful in many ways, but our son wasn't

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consistent in living out what he learned there. Today, I'm chatting with Stephanie Mann,

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who also went through the House of Hope program. She is coming to tell us about her journey before,

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during, and after those months. I heard her share a bit at a House of Hope event that I attended.

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She's now a school teacher. She teaches calculus way over my head. So welcome, Stephanie.

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Stephanie. Thank you very much, Judy.

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I am so glad that you're here. Thank you for being willing to share your story,

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to offer some insights and stories from your experience that will help our audience who may

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be wrestling with some similar kind of situations. So let's just start at the beginning. Tell us

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some about your childhood and your family and where that took you.

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Okay. My childhood was very tumultuous. It was a time where I didn't feel like I really belonged.

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I always looked out at other kids in my class, kids in my neighborhood, and I just felt these

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deep thoughts inside of me that I can never really shake, that I was different, but not different in

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a good way, that there was something broken about me and something that to be ashamed of and just

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like I really didn't belong in the world that I'd been placed in. So just struggled with a lot of

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self-worth issues from a very young age. I was very depressed, child, very dark child. I've had an

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opportunity to talk to some of my former teachers, people that were in my life that recognized there

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was something. They just couldn't quite put their finger on it. But what they didn't know was, and

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something that I never would have wanted to openly share with them, was that I had been abused from

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about the age of four. And that just really, unfortunately, began a dark journey for me to

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just try to fix myself. And like many young people, even as a child, I looked for things that I thought

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would make me maybe not feel as badly as I did. And I turned to substances. It really didn't matter

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what there was, but whether it was some pills or something to drink started abusing things like

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that from a very young age again, and just kind of an attempt to numb myself.

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And you had access to things like that? I did. Unfortunately, in our home, there was access

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to primarily prescription medications and to alcohol. And as I got older, I actually became

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quite well-versed and fevery and found out there was places that I could attain things to drink and

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still pill pills from people, other family members, friends, family, friends, families.

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I was just really trying again to fix myself. And there was a lot of really great people in my life

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that, again, recognized there was something off with this kid. There was definitely something

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was wrong with this kid, but just had a hard time getting me to talk to them truthfully about

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what was really happening in my life. So I'd make excuses and got really good at lying,

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really good at stealing, really good at running away. And what happened when you were gone away?

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Well, I really never ran away for very long. I would bounce from different people within my

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family. I never found myself actually out on the streets. I was quite lucky that either a family

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member would find me and bring me back or I'd end up at a friend's home. I never really found

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myself in a really bad spot after I ran away until I actually got into the House of Hope.

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That's another story, but I ran away from the House of Hope and ended up in a part of town

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that I was not familiar with. Before going to the House of Hope, I was pretty familiar with

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where to run and where to hide out and stuff. And where to get what you wanted.

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Right. But I would say that it started with the abuse and then that led to

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depression. I didn't even know it was depression. I just knew I was always really sad, really angry,

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acted out, got in trouble. I don't even recall when I first had my first drink of alcohol,

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but I know I hated the way it tasted. It was actually, I'd stolen hot beers, but I liked the

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calm that it gave me. It gave me a sense of numbness. I didn't have to think about

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how dirty I felt, how terrible I felt, how shameful I was of who I thought I was at that time.

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But as I got older, the depression got so very dark that I became suicidal.

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And I attempted suicide three times. The first time I attempted to hang myself.

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Second time, I actually threw myself out of a car that was moving. And the third time,

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the third and final time, thank goodness, it was a drug overdose. And the one that was the most

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serious, it was actually the event that brought me to the House of Hope. I was at us. I had been

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released from the hospital. I was placed in a psychiatric hospital. And my high school principal

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who had taken an interest in me had seen something that a lot of other people didn't see, but just

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saw this. I guess this kid who was in trouble didn't have a whole lot of support. He was afraid

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that I was going to just be placed into the system and into foster care without any support,

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without any intervention. And without me knowing that he was even involved in my life, I barely knew

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this man or what he was up to. But while I was off campus and being hospitalized and then in a

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psychiatric center, he began to look for a place for me and somehow came across a woman's name

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and her home phone number and just happened to call her on Saturday morning while she was just

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working at her home, introduced himself and asked her if she could give me a home that I had no

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place to really go to and that he was hoping that she could help me give me a Christian home

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because he was afraid that once the Department of Children Services got involved that things would

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... They'd give me a place to stay, but it wasn't going to be a home. They'd give me a place to stay,

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but he really wanted me to be in a position where I would have help. And he was a godly man and he

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was hoping that he could find a godly, a Christian home for me to be placed in.

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LWJ Wow. One question on when you tried to take your life twice before this. Were there any

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things that were done to help you after that?

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LWJ The first time my mother actually found me when I had hung myself and she... It was a very

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crude... I had used a purse strap from a bunk bed in my bedroom and she heard I guess the flailing

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and came in and I was in elementary school. I was young. I was small. She was able to lift me up

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and pull me out of that. And when she asked me what I was doing, I recall thinking, oh, wow,

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now I got to talk to her about things. But she asked me what I was doing. I said that I was just

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pretending to be a cowboy, where cowboys hang people from trees. And we never spoke about it again.

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LWJ Okay.

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LWJ She was in deep denial and understood that there was something definitely wrong with me,

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but there was a whole lot wrong with her. And I think that it was just really hard for her

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to wrap her head around the idea that her daughter was attempting to kill herself.

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And I don't remember going to a doctor or being checked out or anything after that.

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I know I didn't go to counseling. I remember there being people telling me that I was possessed

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and I was demonic. And that just made me even less likely to open up to people and explain to them

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what was really going on. And where the real self-hatred was being taken place. And I wasn't

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just abused at once at four years old. I continued to be abused. So I was still being abused at this

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age and just really looking for a way to get out. And the adults in my life that you would have thought,

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especially as an adult looking back, the adults that could have stepped in and made the abuse stop,

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just didn't take those steps.

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LWJ So even when you said as you would run away that you would end up with other family members,

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but none of them stepped in to help beyond letting you be with them for a time?

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AMT Yeah. I had aunts and uncles and a grandmother who my grandmother was very close.

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I was very close to my grandmother. But again, they all recognized there was something very,

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very, very wrong with me. Again, some of them were a part of Christian congregations and they

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would have prayers for me. They were some that actually used the word possessed, that I was demon

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possessed. But that was just a lot easier, I think, way for them to wrap their heads around it than

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to really delve deeper into what makes a child do and say and behave the way that I was behaving

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at such a young age. I can tell you that. It was an ancestral situation. So I could not get away

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from my abuser. I was made to feel that I was not in a position where I could be completely honest

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with my family because this person was someone of authority and was someone who other people had

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different ideas about. But the second time I attempted suicide, I threw myself out of a car.

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I was a little bit older. I would say I was probably fifth or sixth grade and just wasn't even a car.

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Actually, I was off the back of a truck, threw myself out to the back of a truck and was just

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suicide. I thought it would kill me. But again, in retrospect, I mean, a lot of people have car

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accidents and don't die. But it was just some act of desperation. Just wanted to avoid what I knew

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was coming in the next couple of weeks. I just wanted to not be around for the holidays when I

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would be around family again. Wow. I'm sorry for all of that. A lot of hearts stopped. So you ended

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up at House of Hope. I did. What did you think when you ended up? Was it like, you didn't really

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know what it was? I mean, I was discharged from a psychiatric hospital, placed in a car. I can't

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tell you where I spent that first night, but it wasn't at the House of Hope. The next morning,

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placed in a car and was driven. It was about two hours from the hospital to the House of Hope in

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Orlando. I remember refusing to even sit in the back seat. I just laid in the back of this car

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on the floorboards. At that point, I was just really angry with myself. I had failed. Yeah,

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I had failed. At 16 years old, I thought that I had finally figured out how to end my life and

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escape the pain, the shame. Here I was having to deal with it. I was being told I was going to go live

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in a new location in a town that I had no real connections to. I remember them driving.

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I remember there was a gravel driveway. I remember they were been on the interstate. It was right

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off of I-4 in Michigan. It was the old campus. I remember gravel and then slowing down. I knew

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I was getting close. I knew I didn't have an option. I wasn't going to be able to stay in that car.

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I was going to have to get out. I had no other place to go. It was on a Saturday.

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Early in the morning, I don't know if it was a Sunday morning. I can't remember, but there wasn't

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a whole lot going on. This woman who just came out of a house, she heard the car. She knew we were

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approaching. She came out and opened up her arms, expecting me to walk into her arms and her warm

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embrace. I remember thinking, what in the world is she up to? I am not going to...

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Everyone was always up to something. I introduced herself and said that her name was Sarah

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Trollinger and she welcomed me to the House of Hope. I remember being quite sarcastic and laughing.

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Just the name sounded really corny to me, House of Hope. Then to have this woman who just, again,

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just seemed to already have fallen in love with me, sight unseen. It was giving me a place to live.

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It just seemed really, really spooky for someone who was coming from my background.

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Was the program in action then? Were you put in a room with some other girls?

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So there were actually two houses on the same property. I was assigned a room in a house

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in a house parent and assigned to one of the bunk rooms. Again, I remember everyone was so

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very nice. The first thing they did was give me clean linens and some clean clothes to wear.

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I didn't really bring very much with me. I remember them being really concerned about

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whether I'd eaten anything. Just like generally concerned and making me comfortable and making

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me feel at home. Very surreal and gave me a tour of the property and explained to me that

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I was actually medicated, quite heavily medicated after I had left the psychiatric hospital.

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I remember them being concerned about just how I was going to handle that amount of medication.

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I don't know that they had had anybody in the program up to that point that had

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some of the mental health issues that I was being treated for at that time.

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But they navigated through that. They sought assistance. I think I was one of the first people

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who really needed intensive counseling. I had never spoken to a counselor outside of the psychiatric

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hospital. What went on? How you adapted and what was good and what was challenging for you?

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So like most programs, when you start, you start on orientation and you have very few real

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privileges. You have to earn those privileges. I think you come in and you're on level one or

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whatever. It was quite an adjustment. Although I had all of these incredible new things at my

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disposal, just like having some really sweet people. I wasn't thinking of them as sweet at the

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time. I had sisters all of a sudden that I was living with, my roommates, bunkmates. I remember

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just being really super cautious. I didn't want to show very much of who I was. I remember being,

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they may have thought I was shy, but I was just really began just by rebelling. I didn't want to

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really interact very much with anyone. Again, just getting the lay of the land, figuring out what

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was really going on here. There was a lot of talk about Jesus. I had my grandmother and I

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was aware of Jesus and Christianity. I had been to Sunday school. I had been a part of churches

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before, but again, I had a very bitter taste in my mouth for anything that had to do with religion.

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I had a very difficult time getting off that first level, I remember.

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As I got a little bit more comfortable with being there, my true rebellious nature came out. I

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didn't like being told what to do. Just was a lot of anger under the… That goes on to the rest of life.

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Nobody likes being told what to do. No. It could have just been chores.

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The way that things were handled, you had chores. It were things that you might be in kitchen

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chore, dishes and stuff. I was very fair and equitable, but I would argue just about the…

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It was ridiculous, but I would argue about every little thing in the beginning.

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I especially had issues with some of the women who were house parents because they were day in

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and day out. They were the ones that would really try to tumble us and supervise us. I had a terrible

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mouth. My language was terrible. It wasn't something Sarah wanted to hear, but that was just how I

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talked. Everything was… I would try not to get in too much trouble with my mouth, but I can remember

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being really mouthy and being given more chores. I got to a point at one point where I was…

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Is it dinner? I had said something I shouldn't have. I said, well, the house parent would say,

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well, you're going to wash dishes next week also. I was like, next week's not my week.

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Exactly. You're going to have to wash dishes for another week. I cursed again. I was like,

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now it's three weeks. By the end of this, I was like, I was going to be washing dishes for 15 years

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the way I was talking back. I got into an argument at the table after we got out of the kitchen.

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After we got up to the dining hall and into the kitchen, I continued to argue with this poor woman,

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and then I threatened her and happened to have a knife was in the kitchen. I threatened to cut her.

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I meant it. I was so very angry at that point. That was the night I ran away from the House of Hope.

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I just had no idea where I was. I'm on Michigan Street, not very far from OBT and I4. I didn't

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know which direction to run in, but I ended up running down OBT towards Paramore. I believe that

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the Lord really kept me safe that night. I had some ideas of what was out there, but I didn't

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realize that we were really very close to some of the seediest places in Orlando and some places that

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could have definitely hindered the path that I had been placed in the House of Hope and how I was

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slowly making progress. But if I had not been brought back that night, I hate to think of what

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would have happened. So I came back. There was an officer that brought me back, an OPD officer.

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I think I stuck out pretty much. I was walking down the sidewalk looking how I did,

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not really dressed for walking the street. I'm a young skinny girl. I didn't think I stood out.

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I mean, I had the walk. I had the talk. I had the attitude for sure, but I think a seasoned cop

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could see that I was definitely out of place. Sarah had an opportunity. Sarah could have kicked

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me out. She definitely, I had made a terrible mistake. That is one thing they do. And could have

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pressed charges easily for the threat that I made. And I still don't know why they didn't.

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I think there's a lot of places I could have been at that they definitely would have pressed charges

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and that would have been all there was for me. I would have just been back in the system.

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But she gave me a do-over. And the woman who I threatened gave me a do-over. I mean, she could

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have definitely have carried a lot of bitterness and anger for the way I behaved and treated her.

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So I started over back on level one. But this time, something had definitely changed in me.

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And I was willing to meet them halfway. And I think at that same time was when my Christian

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counseling, I was going to counseling several days a week. I would get in a van and they would take

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me to counselors in Winter Park. I don't know if House of Hope paid for it because I know it had

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to be incredibly expensive. But there were people who were supporting House of Hope and were thankfully

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enabling me to get some just very intensive counseling.

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Intensive and quality. Yes. No, it was. And they continued to,

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even after I left the House of Hope, they continued and I was in foster, in one of their foster

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homes, continued to make sure that I got the counseling that I needed going forward.

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So after I came back from that runaway attempt and really started working the program,

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I think that that was when I realized I could have been in jail, big jail, not little girl jail.

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I could have been in big jail. And I could have not been able to turn around that it would have been

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irreversible. And at this point in time, I remember there, I mean, I had gotten to the point

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where, yes, I was still very depressed. I was still very shameful. I didn't want anyone to know

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what had brought me there. Some of the girls were very open with their stories and they were

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willing to share. I was very closed. I just felt very, very ashamed. And I felt like it had all

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been my fault. And there was a scripture that Sarah shared with me after I ran away and came back.

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And it's in Micah 7.9. And it talks about our iniquities and our sins and how the Lord would

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stomp them under His feet and then pick them up and throw them into the sea of forgetfulness.

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And that imagery of the sins that had been placed upon me, the sins I had assumed as my own,

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the sins that because of the sin that had been placed upon me, I had made my own sin.

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All that sin that I carried around, my sin and other sin that could be trampled,

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had could be stomped out, then could be picked up, the remnants of it, and thrown into a sea of

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forgetfulness. That was definitely where my thinking changed. And if God was willing to not just

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forgive me, but to forget, because I couldn't forget. I was awakened every night with nightmares.

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That was another problem I had. I was sleep deprived all the time because I had just

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terrible night terrors nearly every night while I was at House of Hope that if he could do that.

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Were they aware of that? Yes. They actually bought me some headphones and I would go to bed

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at night listening to scripture being read on cassette tapes. They tried music, but there was

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so much trauma that even when my conscious mind could shut it down, it just appeared that as soon

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as my would go to sleep, that my unconscious and my subconscious, it was just like on flashbacks,

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just constantly being reintroduced to trauma that had occurred. And so,

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they tried lots of things. A lot of things work, thank goodness, but especially prayer

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and the love that they gave me and that intense, again, Christian counseling.

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And so, when did you begin to really move in a positive direction?

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It was probably around the nine month mark. It was when a lot of the other residents were

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leaving. The residents who had come at the same time I had come or after I had come,

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they were going through the levels. They were graduating from the program. Most of them were

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going back to their families. And that was really kind of sad for me to see that many of the

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girls that were there at the time, they had families that they were comfortable with and

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they looked forward to going back to their hometowns. And their families were active

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participants in the model where they would come and go to the parent trainings and the things

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that the House of Hope offered, the support for the entire family, not just the child.

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And I recognize that, again, I was different and that wasn't, I was not going to be able to go back

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home. In fact, at that point of time, there was a trial occurring in my hometown. And I did not

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want to go back and be in the same hometown where some of my family members were actually on trial.

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I wanted to be as far away from that as possible. And I had felt like I had done a really good job

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of working through stuff and moving away from it and the idea of going home. So, there was a lot

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of reasons why the House of Hope recognized that I was not returnable. They had acquired me forever.

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I was not going to be able to be returned to Cinder. And so, they began a very laborious

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process of trying to find a, instead of a group home, a small home for me to transition into.

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And I guess, there was a lot that happened behind the scenes I wasn't aware of, but

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they began to interview families in the area. House of Hope has lots of relationships with

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several different denominations, several different churches. And I know that they approached

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several married couples with families and without families and just kind of introduced me on paper.

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We have this young lady who needs a home. She's gone through our program. She will still need

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counseling. We'll still support you, but we'd like to see her see a husband and wife, a Christian

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husband and I interact appropriately so that she can see what a godly household looks like.

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And they thought that was really important. I thought it was kind of bogus at the time,

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but they're like, no, we want you to see how a godly family unit behaves and we want you to

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have those kind of role models to look up to. And for what I understand, several individuals

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were initially interested in giving me a home. But after hearing the whole story and seeing

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this wallpaper, it was a very frightening for them to introduce a 17-year-old kid into their home

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who had acts of aggression and violence and had problems with substance abuse and had had problems

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with suicidal behavior, kind of like a rap sheet. And so that was hard for some of those couples

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and that's understandable. Right. So they sent me to a summer camp up in the mountains.

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And I remember knowing that they were still looking for a home for me. I was kind of purgatory. I was

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at the House of Hope, but I had met all the requirements. So I was still a resident, but I

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didn't have a place to move on to. And so they sent me to this wonderful Christian camp for the

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summer for weeks in North Carolina and had a beautiful time there. But I remember when they

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came to pick me up, the first thing that Sarah said was, we have found you a home. And I was,

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I love Sarah and I love the House of Hope, but I was ready to start learning what it was like to

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be a Christian and to live outside of even the House of Hope, but outside of that kind of institutional

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sort of situation. And so that was about the time the school year was getting right, my senior year

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of high school. And so I was introduced to the family that I was going to live with. And I lived

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with them throughout my senior year. I lived with them until I graduated high school and went to

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college. And while that was still an arm of House of Hope, they were still supervising

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that placement, still making sure that I was getting the support. And again, particularly the

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counseling, I would still get counseling every week. Again, like two or three times,

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we're talking like intensive counseling. Wow. And how did it go with this family?

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It was incredible. I met them, I think on House of Hope property first, just the husband and wife.

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He was a local Episcopalian priest. And I had met some of their parishioners had come to the

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House of Hope and a big sisters to us. Excuse me. And so when they mentioned my big sister,

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I recognized I was like, oh, she's taking me to your church. You're the minister, you're the

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parish priest and his lovely wife. And at a time they had four sons that were from ages two to nine.

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So I was excited. I was excited about moving into a real house, going to a real school. I had been

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out of school for a couple of years. I was excited about having brothers, a real family. But I was

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terrified of wrecking it. I was terrified of making some sort of mistake and for them to

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send me back to the House of Hope. And so I remember just being really concerned that I might say or

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do something that might make them send me back again, return me to sender.

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Return to sender. So I moved into their home. Yeah, I moved into their home. And I just remember

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they had, they had, I had my own bedroom. And she had painstakingly, you know, put it together for

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me. She had learned what one of my favorite colors was and had just put it together so beautifully,

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had my own space. And I just felt just almost like royalty. Like I was just living in a really,

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not just safe place, definitely safe place, but just a place that was just warm and inviting,

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comfortable. And that, you know, again, just that experience gave me a continuity. And if you talk

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about the House of Hope, it truly is a place of hope. I came there with absolutely no hope. I just

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would laugh at the idea of hope. But after going through the program and continuing in foster care

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with this family, I really began to hope for a future. I had gone from the kid who did not really

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expect to graduate from high school. They had recognized in me that I actually, you know,

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had a level of intelligence that I had, you know, that God had gifted me with,

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insisted that I take the SAT, did really well, got a scholarship to the University of Florida.

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So here I was graduating from high school and now I'm getting a scholarship to, you know,

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a major university. And just all these doors were being opened.

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And you thought your life would have been over by then.

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I didn't really see myself living perhaps age 16. And if I was alive, I expected to be in prison.

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Yeah, that's where we thought our son would be dead or in prison.

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And I know I have many friends that I ran in those circles that have not, you know,

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they are in prison or have died very young, you know, so but for, you know, the saving grace of

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the Lord Jesus, of my Lord Jesus, you know, that's where I know I would be.

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And so now you are married and have a family?

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I do. So I went to the University of Florida and again, even after I fell in my foster parents,

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I don't know if this is applicable or not, but their names are Greg and Lorelie Brewer.

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And Greg was the parish priest at Tusca Willoughbyscapalian Church in Tusca Willow,

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in Oviedo. I graduated from Oviedo High School. And then he went on and moved actually around

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the country and but came back to Central Florida and was our bishop of the Central Florida Diocese

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for several years and just recently retired. But even after living with them and just really

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falling in love with them and their family, I was there while their fifth child was born,

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I actually helped deliver their fifth child. I still wasn't sure that I would ever be wife

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material, let alone a mother. I just didn't trust myself to, I didn't trust men. I didn't trust

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myself to be a wife and be able to do that. Definitely could not see myself having children.

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And so when I went away to college, I started really having dates for the first time, but,

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you know, it did not, again, did not see myself as ever marrying, ever having any sort of relationship,

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but was just go out and have dinner, you know, and then never saw a future. But I did, in fact,

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towards the end of my career at University of Florida, I met a man who was a Christian and

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had this beautiful family. And I love him. But once I met his family, this family really did it

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for me because I saw again, that godly loving family that, you know, they love their kids.

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They still disciplined them, but they had trained them up and they had supported them.

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And so I fell in love with Scott, but I also fell in love with his family at the same time.

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And so we got married not long after I graduated from college. But then seven years into our

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marriage, I still wasn't sure I wanted to be a mom. I didn't trust myself to be a mom. I was afraid

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that I would act out in anger and hurt children. Or I just, again, I had all these terrible ideas

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about, you know, just I couldn't trust myself. I couldn't trust people. I couldn't trust myself.

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And, you know, Satan was still just, you know, just really feeding me lies about, you know,

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that there was those sins that maybe they weren't in the sea of forgetfulness, you know, maybe they

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were still deep inside of me. And, you know, at a particular moment, I would, you know,

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where they drew their ugly head and I would turn into that monster again that I knew I could be.

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And I had been as a young child and young adult. But now, thankfully, I have three beautiful daughters,

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three daughters I do not deserve. My granny had told me when I was little that you reap what you

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sow. And if that's true, I definitely, I did not reap the children I was supposed to be given.

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But I have three beautiful daughters. My youngest is 16. My oldest is 26. And they are gorgeous.

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And they know, they know where mommy's come from. I've been very, you know, as they've matured,

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you have, they're all, they're all, they're each at this at a point now at 16 years old. They all

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know where I've been. And they know my story. I share my story a lot in youth groups. I'm a

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basketball coach. I also work with a fellowship of Christian athletes. I've worked in prison

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ministries, you know, through the years God's given me an abundance of opportunities to share

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with women and young girls my story and, and, and let allow them to tell me their story and where

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they're at and their walk. And then my daughter is, my husband has been a part of that. And

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they recognize that without the Lord, I never would have met their father, you know, and I never

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would have been able to be their mom. And so when we think about the people in their lives

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that, you know, built this legacy, you know, my family is my legacy. Sarah Trollinger in the

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House of Hope is a part of that legacy without that introduction. That one morning where I thought,

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who is this crazy woman and why does she want me to hug her? And all the other, you know,

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incredible people that the House of Hope, you know, and their network of believers and supporters

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brought into my life, I would not have had the opportunity to serve the Lord in the way I have

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and to create a life that I never could have imagined. I mean, he, he's created in me something

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that if someone had told me, you know, even 15 years ago, honestly, I would not have been able

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to accept. I would have just thought it was. But God had other, yeah, but God had other plans and

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he did. He's, he loves to take brokenness and bring healing and redemption. And my healing

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and redemption has continued. I mean, I never knew my biological father and I begged as a child to,

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for my mother to tell me and her family to tell me because they knew, but they would

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hold that information from me. And I had always hoped that he would come and rescue me and take

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me away. And six years ago, my father's family found me. And, you know, miracles, applarum,

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miracles. I, you know, have met him and have, he's become a part of my life. I have a brother and

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a sister. I'm going actually this weekend, we're getting together to celebrate my grandmother's

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95th birthday. There's about 50 of us coming in from all over to celebrate and have a family reunion.

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Well, I just continue to bless me. Well, and you have continued throughout this

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brief conversation to be blessing the listeners on this podcast, because we're, there are so many,

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I'm sure some of them are very similar stories with either their own lives or their children.

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And yet God has redeemed you and you are giving them a picture of what is possible. And for people

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who are at a hard place where they don't see the hope yet to hear your story is a wonderful thing.

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And to hear what House of Hope meant to you, I know many people are really reluctant to consider

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a program like that. It seems like they failed and they don't trust others. And so that's at least

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a picture of what God can do in a place where there are people dedicated or committed to helping

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and coming in and being part of God's healing process. So I'm very grateful for your telling your

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story. And I believe that there will be a lot of people who listen to it and will have hope

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that God is not through. He is going to bring help and redemption. So thank you for that so very much.

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Thank you. Thank you. We'll trust that God's going to use it to touch a lot of lives. May I pray for

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you? Yes. Father, thanks so much for Stephanie. What a gift she has given to be willing to share

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the hard things that were true in her life and the long journey and the place that she is now

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and all the joy that she has right now. So thank you. And I pray you would bless her and her family.

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And I pray especially that this time probably with people she hasn't even met yet, if they're all

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coming to celebrate the grandmother, that it'll be a very special time for her to see that you'd

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really have placed her in family. So thank you. Thanks in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. Thank you, Judy. God bless you.