Struggling With Mental Health? Listen NOW! | feat. BrittanyDawn

Well, hey, we're here with Brittany dawn, and I am so excited.

We're gonna have a vulnerable conversation, and I want to make sure that you stick around through the entirety of it, because there's so many different aspects of her testimony and her story that are gonna become a testimony for you.

And that's why God does things like this.

I don't believe in accidents.

As a matter of fact, when you clicked in, there's these divine appointments where you hear the exact thing in the exact season that you need to hear.

But I'm also joined with my teenage daughter.

Hey.

And so Bella is here as well.

So welcome, Brittany dawn, to New York City.

Welcome to the underground studio.

This is so fun.

Any excuse to come to New York City.

Yes.

Yeah.

Now I just want to shout out your husband as well.

He's a trooper.

He's off camera right now, but new best friend.

It was instant.

Yeah, y'all did hit it off pretty quick.

Yeah, he's trying to find y'all gym equipment.

And also, I say y'all a lot because we're.

Yeah, yeah, please.

Yeah.

Well, we're half hillbilly, right?

Right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You test it out.

Y.

Y.

Love it.

The first thing that.

That we did when you got here, so just to tell the people watching was gave.

Gave you an entire tour of the house without my wife's permission.

So probably in the comments section, y'all are just roasting me right now.

Like, how dare you disrespect Julie, the mother of the house.

But I had to.

I had to.

It was beautiful.

Yes.

And we were honored to be here.

Oh, yeah.

It's gonn.

Well, I know it's going to help so many people.

I'd love to just give you an opportunity to really tell your testimony.

I know that Bell's got some questions as well, but.

Yeah, I just wanted to kind of give you, like, unfettered.

Like, don't worry about time.

Because it's just.

Especially because whether it's male or female, I believe there's so many in my world that are getting to know you right now, but also that are getting to hear your story.

And so is there anything that you want to focus on in particular, like.

Cause I wanna make sure.

Cause I know that you're led by the Holy Spirit and you kind of have that sense of, like, what he wants you to say.

Yeah, there are.

I love that.

I definitely yield to the Holy Spirit when I share my testimony.

Cause there are so many aspects that could correlate with so many different People, for me specifically today, I feel like the Lord is wanting me to start it when I was like a late teenager and go into what happened in my 20s.

Cause that was when I kind of fell away from the.

From the Lord.

So I gave my life to Christ when I was 16 and grew up in a Christian household, but no one really told me what was to come after you give your life to the Lord.

Spiritual warfare and just all of that.

Right.

That we know we're supposed to armor up.

But I wasn't equipped because it was a Baptist church and so gave my life to the Lord and then just kind of fell away a year later.

It was just attack after attack after attack.

And it was underage drinking and sexual sin and pornography and just all the heaviness that, you know, teenagers can fall into.

And then in my 20s, the fitness industry, that's kind of where I felt like I needed to soak in a little bit.

It got ahold of me and I just.

I was young and broken and I didn't understand identity.

I had no confidence.

Just all the.

It was the perfect storm for the enemy to kind of come in and start trying to plant seeds and plant lies and wasn't rooted in God at this time because again, I had fallen completely away.

Wow.

And just really started finding myself in the world with eating disorders and underage again, underage drinking and partying and pornography at that point had really gotten a grip on me.

And sexual sin and then really just dove into that headfirst.

Dropped out of college, built a successful business, and the business took off like wildfire.

I had no idea what I was doing with it because I was not a business major in any sense.

But with that just came more open doors.

And it was like the enemy had handed me an apple and he was just giving me everything that I could possibly want.

So of course I'm like, yeah, this is like what I've dreamed of.

I'm 21 and I've got a booming business and I have the body, you know, that every girl wants.

And the pressure of, you know, Pinterest like that Thinspo, Fitspo, Fitspiration.

There's such a pressure, women in today's, even still today's world.

And got married really young, just, you know, in sin, all of that.

By the time I was 26, I got divorced and got out of that by the grace of God.

I won't go into that just to honor my ex husband, but did get out of that, moved to Dallas, which, you know, I was like a little country Girl.

So I had never experienced the big city.

And when I got to the big city, the enemy just really dug.

Sunk his teeth in even more.

I believe that every city has a principality over it, and you can feel the spiritual shift.

I mean, even when our plane landed here in New York City, I was like, you can just feel that when you're heightened and you're walking in the spirit.

And so I wasn't aware of that, but in that brokenness of being a divorcee at 26 and, you know, just being so hungry for identity somewhere, somehow I just really jumped off the deep end.

I was sleeping around, being promiscuous, using men, trying to heal that wound in my heart that the Lord should have been healing, but instead I was trying to, you know, self heal and then just really.

That's kind of when the demonic realm started working in my life.

Which, again, when you go to a Southern Baptist church, you're not really warned about that stuff.

Yeah, I started getting sleep paralysis constantly.

I mean, it was just like encounters and just, you know, seeing things in your room, and you're like, that's not God, and didn't have a Bible in my place.

So it's just like so many different.

So you would wake up and you would physically feel like something was on top of you.

Yeah, yeah.

It's one of my top viewed videos is me teaching about how to get free from sleep paralysis.

So you were experiencing that.

So at this point, was it like years into just, like, sin, living for yourself, partying?

And then it started to accumulate.

And now all of a sudden, the demonic realm is becoming more obvious because that's such a common thing where it's like, I think in the beginning, Satan tries to conceal himself, and then it accumulates where the devil's like, oh, they're in so deep.

I'm just coming out with it now.

Yeah.

Oh, it's so much so.

Yeah.

At this point, you know, it just.

My nothing about my home was honoring the Lord.

I was inviting witchcraft in, believing in astrology, like.

Yeah, not like the Ouija board stuff, but, you know, the new age.

New age, yeah.

New age beliefs I was fully in and all of that.

And I just think it was the perfect storm for all of that.

So you were opening doors to the devil?

Yes, like, in every direction.

It's so surreal because I felt like you should be a part of this conversation and just looking across the table and knowing that you accepted Christ at 16, you said, and you're 16.

But then, like, on the other side of that Your story is like you were just years away from stepping into all this brokenness and all these situations.

And, like, there's a big part of me as a dad right now that's like, oh, like, thank God for these conversations.

And.

And so you were telling me, because we were talking about this, like, how much, like, her life and stories helped you as well.

How does it feel?

Just because I know we're going to keep going deeper into your story.

How does it feel to hear that, though?

Like, knowing that you're the church girl?

You know, I always see my own daughter on the front row worshiping.

Maybe somebody watching right now used to be that church girl.

And maybe they're in the middle of the story that you're telling now and this broadcast is going to bring them back to the father.

I sense that, like a prodigal revival, like, returning.

And maybe they feel like they can't.

And, like, it's making me want to cry already because I feel like you're here, you're back.

I mean, you're reaching millions of people with your life, but then you're at the beginning of the story and God's trying to help you, like, not have to go through that.

But how do you feel hearing this?

Yeah, I mean, these conversations are so crucial.

Just like the vulnerability, vulnerability.

Vulnerability.

But they're so crucial to have because everybody is so scared to, like, show their real self on social media.

It's all so fake and it's just not real.

So this conversation that we're having today is so important to many of the Gen Z and just young girls watching who.

Who want to be in the world.

And everything's fine on the surface.

I have this business.

Oh, I'm partying with my friends.

I'm having so much fun.

Just like your story, and everything's fine.

Looking in, but in, you know, what's going on, it's just so.

It's so broken, it's so distraught.

So, yeah, even when you were mentioning, like, the Pinterest thing, like, I don't get Pinterest.

Like, I'm obviously old man status, but, like, your Pinterest account is what blew up, like, millions of views a month.

And so I was like, oh, man.

Even as a dad, like, I didn't understand, but it's probably programming you for a certain aesthetic and I gotta look a certain way.

And, you know, it's a lot of pressure.

There's so much pressure on women.

I mean, I've even seen that.

I just filmed a video the other day about how that pressure can then, like, reflect our walk with the Lord.

Like how we suddenly feel like you have to have this perfect qu.

Quiet time and the pretty coffee and the perfect lighting and the cute cozy outfit to have an encounter with the Lord.

And I'm like, sure, you can.

But, like, he just wants your heart.

He just wants you where you're at.

And so, yeah, I love that we're having this conversation because there is so much pressure on women.

And ultimately that pressure is what sent me in my downward spiral.

I had everything that at that point, a 27 year old could want.

I had the car, the townhome, the money, the bank account, the.

The men.

Right.

Dating apps.

I could get whoever I wanted.

But I was so just shattered inside.

And on social media, it came off as this girl who had her life together, who had the following.

She had the engagement, she had all of that.

But I was having panic attacks and anxiety attacks and depressed behind the scenes and crying every night to sleep and just the things that no one wanted to talk about.

So anyways, 2019, again, I was in the fitness industry, had a very successful business.

And unfortunately, with things that happen like that, when you have a following, and I'm sure you guys know this, you have some bad apples, people that just don't like you.

I get it.

There's people we probably all don't like, right?

Like, it's just part of being human.

But these people have just made it their life's mission to, you know.

And one way or another, there was a prank pulled on me at a Los Angeles fit expo in 2019.

And I didn't realize that this.

This guy was a massive YouTuber, but he was, and he pulled a prank on me.

Long story short, I was just humiliated by the whole thing.

A week later, I get home and that video goes live.

And it went viral.

And in a matter of 24 hours, I lost my management, my team, collaborations, my income, my business, my reputation, just friends, Everything just.

It was like I was an onion.

And the Lord was just peeling back layer after layer to get to my core.

And looking back now, I'm grateful for that.

But in the moment, it never feels good to lose everything.

And I watched it just come crumbling down.

And then the media storm came, and the media picked it up because everyone wants to see an influencer fall.

Oh, yeah.

And I wasn't the monster they made me out to be.

I was just a broken person trying to make it in this world.

But the more it bleeds, the more it reads.

Yeah, come on.

And I Know, you guys have witnessed that firsthand.

And so they just.

They did.

They.

They painted me out to be a monster.

Good Morning America, all the other, you know, news outlets.

And by two weeks in, after Cancel Culture had taken place, I really.

I wasn't.

I wasn't leaving my house.

I've overcome three eating disorders.

I was relapsing at that point into my third.

Just not wanting to wake up, not wanting to sleep.

Just the darkest depression I had ever felt.

You could just feel the heaviness in my townhome at that time.

There's just.

God was not there.

And I decided after reading tens of thousands of comments of why don't you do us all a favor and jump off a bridge or make this world a better place and put a gun to your head, I decided they were right.

Because when you don't have the Holy Spirit and you aren't walking with the Lord, if it's not God, it's the enemy.

And Valentine's Day of 2019, I had a plan to take my life.

And I had the text message ready to send my sister.

And I popped the cap off the pills and took my first handful.

And it's still, to this day, I have a really hard time putting it into words.

What happened.

It was so supernatural.

It was the first time I had ever felt the Holy Spirit.

I just.

I got knocked down to my knees, and I was just like.

It was weird.

It wasn't like this heaviness.

It was just this presence was so holy and so righteousness that I just wanted to bow down.

And I laid on that floor for what could have been three hours, four hours, five hours, I don't know.

It didn't matter because I had no agenda.

I had nothing left to live for.

And I just remember waves of deliverance, just what I now know to be deliverance.

I had no idea what was going on at the time.

Didn't even really know what spiritual gifts were, but looking back, it was just deliverance, Deliverance, deliverance.

And it was just waves of it.

And I came up off that floor feeling more free than I had ever felt from depression, anxiety.

It was just this overwhelming peace that if not God is still good.

And I didn't.

I woke up and I.

Or I came up from that, and I was so hungry for the Bible, which was.

I had never craved that.

And I was just like, I need a Bible.

I need a Bible.

I remember grabbing my phone and I couldn't get one there fast enough.

Like, Amazon primed it.

And then with no agenda, like, the next month, two months, I literally would just wake up in the mornings and just saturate in God's word and meditate on Scripture.

And it was a process of sanctification.

Like, I was not the same, Brittany, after that encounter.

But then even, like, months down the road, people would be like, you're not the same.

And I'm like, that's the point, right?

Yes.

And so just, like, looking back at.

In my most broken moment, he still met me and he still loved me, and I wasn't too far gone.

And it's so easy to feel like you're thrown out when the headlines are saying you're a monster, and the headlines are saying you're a terrible person.

When God knows the truth and the most broken people, the people that are the furthest gone, he still wants them, and he leaves the 99 for them.

So, yeah, sorry, that was kind of long winded.

No, no, that's amazing.

I'm trying to give you all the Cliff Notes.

No, seriously, I'm trying not to breathe because I feel the presence in the power of God so much.

Like, there's somebody watching right now who's suicidal, and they need deliverance.

They need that freedom.

There's somebody who's been tormented.

And whether it's like Good Morning America or it's just the people at work talking about you, it feels the same because people are like, well, I guess this is who I am.

And I know.

I remember being.

I went from Mighty Mike, you know, the guy that signs miracles, wonders, praying for people, to an alcoholic.

And I'm separated from my wife.

And I remember, yeah, the people love to see other people fall because it's like, what's easier than actually climbing up is just watching other people fall, you know?

And it's like, it makes them feel like they accomplished something because we fell and they.

They cheered on.

It's so sick.

Yeah.

Even in ministry.

Yes, exactly.

Exactly.

And so there's something so special about your story, because it was, like, right in your lowest moment.

That's where God met you at that place.

Yeah.

And that's why I said I started this testimony video by saying somebody's tapping into this thinking, like, oh, it's just.

It's, you know, Papa Sigs, it's Mike Signorelli, it's Brittany Dawn.

Like, I see Bella, but, like, right now, lives are actually being saved.

I think there's a mandate on my ministry to cancel suicide.

And so I know we're going to go a little bit deeper, but do you want to Speak into that right now.

Because I feel like somebody in this moment, because just knowing how God works, they need to hear this right now.

So I just wanted to give you an opportunity.

Yeah, absolutely.

I'm so passionate about watching people break free from that.

Cause I experienced that firsthand.

I felt the heaviness, I felt the darkness.

I felt the there's no hope.

The hopelessness.

Right.

Cause without Jesus, there is no hope.

He is our hope.

And I just.

Every time I've.

Cause Sheila's freed my ministry, it pivoted to deliverance ministry, too, about a year and a half ago.

And I was like, whoa, what is going on?

Like, I felt so unequipped at that time, you know?

And I was just like, I don't know what this is, but there have been women that have come through, and they have also been struggling with the spirit of suicide.

And I just love sitting with them.

And I'm like, I'm not leaving till this is gone.

Like, in Jesus name.

And just sitting with them and loving them and watching the Holy Spirit come in and work in their heart.

I mean, you can see the shift.

Like, you just see it on their face, on their body, the way they carry themselves.

And again, it's hard for me to put into words what happened in my kitchen in the middle of my suicide attempt.

But what I know now is had I known how good his love is, how good his mercy is, how rich it is, I never would have let myself get to that point.

I would have turned from my sin.

And people think that sin is fun.

And it's like, well, Jesus is, too.

We were just talking about this, like, living for the Lord, like, that's the only way.

All these things of the world that we think will fill our cups, that we think will quench our thirst.

It's only Jesus.

And that's what got me to that place, was just trying to put my identity in the world and the pressures of everything, and just knowing again how good he is.

I'm like, man, if I'd have known that, it would have saved me so much.

Yeah, well.

And you know what it is, though?

The devil thrives in darkness, in hiddenness.

And that's always the lie of the enemy.

Like, you have to hide it.

You have to go through it alone.

What are people going to think?

And, you know, Bella, you were with me as we traveled all around the United States and every single night, this was like the original Domino revival tour.

And I took our whole family, and I would get up there and I would say, I don't care if you're the Sunday school worker.

You know that like with the kids ministry.

I don't care if you're on the worship team or on staff at a church.

If you've been like, dealing secretly with suicide, come out of hiding.

There's a whole section in the film which, that, I mean, it's going to be back out again November 13th, you know, so.

Yeah, and so, but.

But it's like I showed a lot of the different times where I was confronting suicide and in real time, people were getting free.

And it's like you, you know, you can go to church and that never gets talked about.

Yes, you can go to church and never gets exposed.

And you would think church would be the one place where you could just be the most vulnerable, but sometimes it's the opposite.

It's like you gotta show everybody that you have it going on and, you know, so I don't know.

Is there anything that stuck out to you about the domino tour and suicide and kind of seeing the freedom happen in real time?

Yeah.

Well, just recently we had the Domino Revival Part 2 take place at all of our locations and a lot of the youth were really vulnerable.

Speaking up against eating disorders, just like your story, A lot of them said they just recently stopped.

So I want to ask you, what do you have to say to the Gen Z watching this live stream that are struggling in that cycle of, oh, I'm living my best life, you know, I'm partying, I'm.

I'm.

But I'm.

But I'm slowly, like, decaying.

Like, I have these eating disorders.

So if you have anything to encourage them, like, out of it.

Yeah, yeah, that's so good.

I went through three, and the first one nearly put me in the hospital.

And they never got better after that.

It was just.

Everyone got worse and worse and it was truly.

It's hard.

Like, it's not just an eating disorder, it's also body dysmorphia, because you're looking at yourself in the mirror and you're picking yourself apart and you see something that's not true and that is demonic.

Like it's manipulating your vision.

And so just.

It was a process for me, it was a sanctifying process.

The eating disorder.

Healing from that was probably one of the last things to go.

I do believe that the Lord can heal in a moment.

But for me, that had 10 years of roots, that it just had to slowly come up in me and the Lord just waves of deliverance.

And also counseling, like, that was a game changer for me.

But being able to just sit with the Lord.

And it all goes back to identity.

Like, are you gonna try to be what the world wants you to be?

Or are you gonna be who God has asked you to be and called you to be?

And once you realize, like he says, you're worthy, called, chosen, loved, appointed, anointed, you're like, oh, that's what matters.

Like, I don't have to be a size double zero.

I actually just posted a video about this.

Like, you don't have to be a size double zero.

You can be any size, whatever God wants you to be and still walk in that calling and walk in that authority.

And that pressure is you're not here to please people, you're here to please God.

And I think that ultimately is what set me free was like realizing that.

And it doesn't make it easier because that pressure is around us every single day.

But being able to say, but God, like, but God, like, what does he say that I am?

Who does he say that I am?

And it just, it shifts your perspective and your vision.

Wow, that is so powerful.

I know that's going to reach, reach many through your testimony.

So thank you.

Thank you for sharing that.

Yeah.

Did you see like, any connection between body dysmorphia, the eating disorders, and suicide?

Yeah, because I think about, like, it's so hidden, right?

It's like you struggle with it alone and you kind of adjust your entire life to this hidden thing and then.

But in, in a lot of ways as a pastor, I see suicide as such a hidden, closeted thing.

You know, when we were doing the domino revival tour and I would speak about suicide, I would literally would have pastors daughters come up to the front, bawling their eyes out, snot coming out of their face, saying, nobody knows.

And I think about, like, there's just something about the hiddenness, right, where it's like, nobody knows, but I don't know if there's any connection you've seen.

Absolutely.

I lived by myself at the height of my eating disorder, so it was easy for me to hide.

And then I just masked that with, you know, if someone made a comment on social media, you look like you're getting a little too thin.

I would mask it with fitness.

Like, oh, I'm just in the fitness industry.

I have to be right.

Like, that pressure to look a certain way.

But being in the shadows behind the scenes was so dark and so lonely.

And there were so many moments where I was like, how long am I going to struggle with this.

How long is food going to control me?

How long am I going to pick myself apart?

Like, I looked happy on the outside and in photos and on social media, but I was again, anxious, depressed, panic attacks, like, just.

It was a vicious cycle behind the scenes.

And so, yeah, I absolutely do think that my eating disorders were correlated with my suicide because it's a form of control.

And we know that as Christians, we're not called to control, we're called to trust.

And having that.

It's a form of, well, if I can't control this stuff, then I'm going to control that.

And that's what it was for me because, again, my life was in shambles.

I was a divorcee at a young age.

I had all these other crazy things going on in my life, but I could control that.

Wow.

Yeah.

And, you know, one of the definitions of witchcraft is manipulation, intimidation, control.

And then the other thing is, as a pastor, unfortunately, I've done too many suicide funerals.

And it's always the same.

It's like when they leave letters behind or send text messages, it's like, this is how the pain stops.

And it's like a form of control over the pain.

But.

But that's the lie of the enemy, because it doesn't stop the pain.

Matter of fact, it's like they may be gambling with stepping into a greater pain if hell's on the other side.

And I know that's like one of my top viewed videos is trying to wrestle with, like, do you go to hell after suicide?

And so we will delve into that in another video more.

I need to do a part two on that one.

But then the other thing is you distribute that pain to all your family.

Yeah.

And so it's like, I never put together, like, it's control.

It's different forms of control, which I think would also demonically be connected to a witchcraft.

Yes.

Because even the new age, like, what is new age?

I'm going to do these things to give myself back control.

You know, like, I'm going to burn sage to give myself back control over this environment in my house.

Or, you know, I'm going to learn my astrological sign so I can get control over my future.

But it's false control.

Absolutely.

And so because I was trying, I'm trying to, like, learn through this and learn through your life.

And I see, like, the connections, because demonic spirits work together, you know, and they work in networks.

And so somebody would say, well, what does body dysmorphia and an eating disorder have to do With.

With the new age.

And then I think you just, like, that was so rich.

Just control.

Yeah, well, and also, I've realized, too, a revelation that I had after that.

Once I was walking with the Lord and just really reflecting on, like, wow, God, you literally saved my life.

Not just like, spiritually and eternally, but physically.

You saved my life.

He showed me, like, suicide is a very selfish thing.

And you just.

You just hit that because you're leaving that pain with everyone else.

And you're looking internal of like, oh, well, I can solve this for myself.

But you're not thinking about your spouse, your parents, your family, your kids, your friends, like, the people around you.

And for me, that was really, like, one of the reasons why I became so passionate about seeing people break free from that.

Because I'm like, you don't understand.

There's so many people in your life that want to see you free from this, but you have to have the courage to speak out, and you have to be able to say, hey, I'm struggling with this.

I wish that I would have said something, but.

But again, the Lord redeemed it, right?

Like, this is my testimony.

But I wish I would have had someone in my life where I was like, hey, I need a friend.

Like, I'm not okay.

And I think just being able to say on this stream that it's okay to ask for help, even as a Christian, like, there's no shame in that.

The enemy will tell you that, because the enemy doesn't want to see you set free from the spirit of suicide.

But being able to say, hey, I'm not okay.

I need help.

I need a counselor.

I need a doctor.

I need something.

Right?

Like, it's so important, because you won't hear that in a church.

Churches, like you said, they just.

They don't go there.

They think that talking about these things is dancing with the darkness when it's actually exposing it, and it's not.

Yeah, it's not.

You're not dancing with it.

You're exposing it with light.

And we're called to do that as the body of Christ.

Oh, that's so good.

Yeah.

Well, okay, so I'm gonna.

Belle, I don't know how vulnerable you want to get, but, like, I know in our youth groups, a lot of stuff got exposed, like, a year or so ago.

And, like, even being in a culture where we talk about these things and we.

You know, what does it take for, like, a.

Like, Gen Z or a young person to get vulnerable?

Or, like, why do they not.

Like, if there's parents watching.

And I know there's so many parents with teen kids that watch my channel.

What would you say to them?

Like, how would you, how do you, how do you bring that exposure?

Like, how do you help?

Well, I will say that Gen Z, we don't really want to hide.

We want it to be exposed.

Like, we don't want to it to be behind the scenes.

We're, we're actually dying for you guys to come talk to us about it.

You know, that's our real thought.

Like hiding behind a screen, it just feels so lonely, like you're just scrolling for nothing.

And so like parents, if you're watching, like, go to your kids and ask them, hey, how are you doing?

Like, how are you doing?

And just exposing that.

Like how we're saying, like, we want, we want those conversations brought up.

We want to talk about it.

We don't want it to be hidden.

Like, hey, are you struggling with self harm?

Like, parents, don't be afraid.

You need to say it because, because I lost a friend to suicide during pre pandemic 2019 and I would have never known.

I would have never known.

So exposing those conversations with your kids and just friends, if you're watching, exposing those conversations, even if you're not close with that person, just bring it up.

It's the best thing you can do to save a life.

Wow.

Because yeah, I think it's like parents might think, oh, my teen needs like their own privacy.

But what you're saying is like, even if you say that, you don't mean it.

Yeah.

It's true.

And sometimes it's not deliverance, it's a conversation.

Sometimes it's like, I just need to talk about it.

You know, it's.

You don't put your kid in deliverance.

Like, yeah, I'm a demon.

Thank you for saying that.

I want to.

I had a video go viral where I got asked in front of 5,000 people.

You know that, that question about like, you know, what about parents doing deliverance on their kids.

And I looked at that crowd and I was discerning, like so many of you are just bad parents that are trying to use deliverance to fix your bad parenting.

And like, and, and nobody expected the answer for me because I'm the dude casting demons out everybody.

But like, you can't replace discipline with deliverance.

Yeah.

You can't replace actual devotion with deliverance.

And parents have to be good parents.

And so deliverance is a one time event, but parenting is a lifetime.

Yeah.

And so like, thank you for saying that.

I love that you also brought up counseling.

Because I'm a big advocate.

And, you know, and that's something that, again, I went through deliverance.

I think about Mary Magdalene, though, because we got two.

Two ladies in the house.

I love Mary Magdalene, but she got.

Seven demons cast out of her.

But that wasn't the first and final step.

It was just the first step.

And she had to go through a process.

And so, like, for me, one of the most powerful things I went through was having a counselor commit to me, a man of God, who was also an md, and say, I'm going to take you on a journey, Mike, and I'm gonna help you get free.

Cause it's like whom the sun sets.

Free is free indeed.

And when I look at your life, I see free indeed.

And to me, free indeed is free from demons.

But then also the strongholds that they build in your mind, that's free indeed.

Because you can get deliverance.

But then now you still have to tear down all those strongholds.

So, like, okay, I wanna kind of jump into the next part.

Cause I feel the power of God all over this, by the way.

Like, I mean, there's gonna be hundreds of lives changed.

But then what started to happen?

Like, what's the turning point?

So supernatural encounter and then what?

Yeah, so, like I mentioned, I just woke up, or woke up.

I got up from that floor and I just felt so hungry for the word of God.

Ordered the Bible.

Spent just every day just saturating in God's word, just consuming it, the bread, like we're called.

And honestly saying that, like, that was the moment where I went from milk to meat, where God really pulled me deeper.

And I got plugged in at Upper Room Dallas, which I highly recommend if you guys.

I got so many friends out there, the DFW area.

They hit me up today.

Did they?

Oh, my gosh.

I love that.

Yeah.

Big fan of uprooting.

Yes.

Yes.

And it just.

It couldn't have been a better place for me to get plugged into their prayer sets.

I would go and just sit and weep and hear from the Lord.

I was learning how to hear from God.

And, you know, I think people say God's voice sounds like a big, like, Brittany.

And I'm like, no, it actually sounds like our voice.

That was a really bad, like, man impersonation under my throat.

Your husband is glad that you're bad at being a man.

He's like, giggling.

This is a good thing.

It would have been scary if it was authentic.

That would have been a whole nother YouTube video.

It was like the most feminine man impersonation ever.

But I realized in that like I.

Went to meet, I went to the meat.

I'm like, okay, interesting.

But I was like, God's voice sounds like our voice and just.

But it points you.

It honors the Lord.

And so it was really learning how to walk with him and what that looks like and learning to say no to things of the world.

Because, you know, I think the Lord can absolutely break off everything in one moment.

I fully believe that with my whole heart.

But I think for some people, sanctification is a process like I mentioned.

And for me it was the eating disorders and the sexual sin were the last to go.

Everything else was almost immediate.

I've been panic attack free for almost five years, which is like only God.

Yeah.

And it was an every other day occurrence for me.

So there were so many things that just in a moment were gone in the name of Jesus.

But then there were other things that I was like, okay, this is gonna be a walk in the park with the Lord and we're just gonna yield to him.

And yeah.

So I think for me it was just like learning to hear from God and yield to that and trust that his Holy Spirit would guide me and trust that his ways are.

And when your flesh is like.

I read a quote on TikTok Instagram the other day and it was the reason why our flesh wants to sin so badly is cause our flesh isn't going to eternity.

It dies here on this earth.

And so it doesn't care.

And it was that realization of, like, my flesh doesn't have my best interest in mind, but God does.

And so I'm gonna listen for his voice.

And then getting baptized in the.

I believe I got the Holy Spirit that moment on my kitchen floor.

But I didn't get speaking in tongues until actually like this year actually, which is just so cool.

And it was one of those things where it's like, there's some gifts that you just.

You pray for and the Lord's gonna give them to you.

And then there's some.

That's like, okay, we're gonna like wait on this.

And that was me with speaking in tongues.

Yeah, yeah, I love that.

But then like, I mean, discernment just through the roof, when I started walking with the Lord, it was like, oh, that person doesn't have my best interest in mind.

And like just watching that.

Yeah.

Watching that pruning take place in my life of removing people that God, you have permission to love from afar and setting those boundaries, which I think is something that can be a little.

Christians also don't talk about a lot is boundaries.

But I think just from the Bible I've read is Jesus also had boundaries.

Like, he went away to be with the Father, you know, in private.

And so being able to, like, implement those in your own life, that's so good.

One of my top.

I think it's the top viewed video on my whole channel is why God react removes people.

And it's all about boundaries.

I think it's almost close to 3 million views or something.

But I'll link to that in the description because you're right, we don't talk about that.

And you know what's funny is Jesus did it all the time.

I mean, when he saw the crowd was getting too big, he looked at him and he said, okay, drink my blood and eat my flesh.

And they were like, this guy's crazy.

There's no way I could do that.

And he was intentionally turning them away.

And I think as Christians, we have to get that.

I call him Jehovah Sassy.

Wow, I love that.

And I'm like, we need Jehovah Sassy sometimes to be like, hey, I need to prune these.

Like you said, I need to prune these.

Like, not everybody's my friend.

And somebody.

Some.

Some people like what I do for them.

Not.

They're not.

They're not really for me.

You just hit the nail on the head.

I think there's too many people that they.

They find a pastor, they find an influencer, someone that preaches the gospel, and they run to them more than they run to the Father.

That's it.

And I'm like, that's a problem.

Like, that's.

That's.

We are not your answer.

It's.

We're trying to, like, point your focus towards Jesus and that.

I love that you said that.

Well, Paul was like one of the OG influencers, and he said, follow me as I follow Christ.

And so it's like, yeah, you're right.

Some people are leeches and they don't want to build.

They're like blood suckers.

And I think it's like Christians like, oh, I'm going to be a bad person if I cut them off.

And it's like, no, you're going to be a better person, you know, and teach them how to treat you.

Which is like a whole nother video we'll have to come back for.

Yeah, that's a whole thing in itself.

That's like a whole thing One of.

My friends says, they always say, I can love you, but I don't have to like you.

It's so true and loving from a distance.

So God's got you at, like, a healthy local church.

Yes.

Like, you.

And I love the way you made the distinction.

You had the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, but then he's been giving you gifts.

The gift of tongues, the gift of discernment, which I love.

You got to be with me in Times Square.

You and your hubby were there, which I didn't even know.

And you saw hundreds of people receive the gift of tongues, which was amazing right there in New York City.

So beautiful, you know?

Cause, like, in moments like that, in crowds, you're like.

When you activate and you're like, okay.

Like, speaking your heavenly language, it's like, okay, like.

And then all of a sudden, I just heard this, like, roar.

Almost like it was just everyone.

And I'm like, what is going on?

Like, it's just.

It was beautiful, and I'm so glad.

Yeah.

We got the notification right as we're on the subway.

I'm like, babe, look, there's a rev in Times Square.

So we dropped our bags real fast, and we got there as fast as we could.

And it's just.

It's beautiful.

Yeah.

And for as many times as the gifts of the Spirit have been abused, Paul never said, well, don't do it anymore.

The epistles were written to be like, well, here's how to do it.

And so it's like Acts 1:8 says, after the Holy Spirit comes upon you, you will receive power.

So it's like, tongues is, like, just another conduit for that power.

Discernment's another conduit for that power.

And just, like, sitting with you, I'll tell you, like, the anointing is strong in this room.

The glory of God's been here the entire time.

Like, strong.

Matter of fact, like, people who know me are probably like, he was the quietest he's ever been.

Which is, like, the biggest compliment to you, because there's so many times where I'm like, don't mess the audio up.

She's making a legendary moment.

Like, right now, she's ministering to thousands of people.

Like, get out the way.

Tell Evan.

You know, running.

Don't even cut to me on the camera.

I'm not trying to ruin this.

But it's so funny hearing you say that.

Cause I shared my Testimony on my YouTube.

But when I was 16, right after I gave my life to the Lord, I went to a revival and I didn't understand spiritual gifts at all.

And in a crowd of, like, hundreds of people, I was like this little 16 year old, your age, super shy, super timid, like, painfully shy.

Didn't even want to be, like, at the front.

I was at the very back.

And this pastor calls me out and he's pointing at me, and I'm, like, looking around like, no, he's got the wrong girl.

He's like, yeah, I'm pointing at you.

And he confirmed it.

And he said, you're gonna speak to millions.

And I was like, yeah, no, like, that ain't for me.

That is not.

And then, like, looking now, I'm like, God, he picked me out.

Like, he had an anointing.

He had a calling in my life at such a young age.

Which is why I'm so excited to see what the Lord does with you and your generation, because you guys are so hungry.

And I've seen that, like, so many Gen Zers.

Is that how you say it?

Gen Z ers.

I'm a millennial, so I'm like, I don't even know that I think I'm a millennial.

Millennial.

But, yeah, I just.

There's such a hunger.

And just watching God move in Times Square the other night, I mean, there were so many young people there.

It's so beautiful to watch.

And then he's calling up people like you that are going to lead your generation.

It's not just us and your dad and your mom.

It's you also.

And I can't wait to see what he does.

Amen.

I mean, I'm excited.

Yeah.

I can't wait.

We had the whole youth group come out, and they're all on fire.

They're like, let's go evangelize in raising canes.

I'm like, oh, my gosh.

No, see, we need to.

Yeah.

If we lived here, I'd be like, let's go.

I'll go with you.

Because my husband is like, very security detail.

He's like, is that the best idea?

I'm like, holy Spirit goes with us.

We're good.

He's logical.

I'm the wild one.

Yeah.

Well, we'll be in the back.

We'll just detail security detail.

Let y'all run.

I get overprotective dad mode, but I get it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And, like, I think that would be the most spiritual thing to happen in raising canes.

Amen.

I don't get it.

But the raising canes thing, I don't get it.

But you Know, it's big in Texas, too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, hey, like, I cannot thank you enough.

And what I want, I want my people in my YouTube and Instagram Facebook world.

Facebook, where I'm the king of Facebook.

I would love for them to find you and get connected.

Like, what's the best.

Best way?

Yeah, my Instagram is real.

Britney dawn, and I can send you all the links for that.

And I'm on Facebook.

Ish.

Not to your level.

I just kind of.

Kind of.

We're like, casually posting.

Well, I mean, it's still a big thing, though.

So I'm like, post there and.

And then YouTube.

Yeah, okay.

Definitely.

Yes.

I want you guys to subscribe.

I want you to follow.

And I'm sure after hearing her story and just how she ministered, you, you really need to, like, stay connected.

Cause you need, you know, these strong.

I love how God's raising up these strong tribes, you know, so it's like you kind of have this tribe and.

But I love the fact that there's so much wisdom in the way you minister, because it's like, yes to deliverance, yes to the gifts of the spirit, but yes to counseling.

You know, it's yes to the discipline of, like, I love the fact that you got up after this miraculous healing testimony, and then you're like, I want to read the Bible.

Was so hungry.

Yeah.

So it's like, we need that.

And.

And so God's going to continue to just raise you up.

And I just believe that the best is yet to come.

I know it sounds like a cliche, but here's the way that.

Here's the biblical way to say that.

That the latter will be greater than the former.

Wow.

And the Bible talks about that the latter rain.

And so, like, when I was praying for you today, I was like, lord, like, what do you have for her?

And I just.

I kept getting that word latter rain.

Like the ladder will be greater than the former.

And so, yeah, I.

I just love to see it happen, you know, and when God.

When there's like an open heaven, you know, it's like, people know my story.

Like, single mom, welfare, multiple abusive stepdads.

You don't just set up in Times Square and do an event that rivals New Year's Eve.

You know, you don't do that, but it was like the favor of God.

And you carry that favor because you just say, yes, you're the wild one.

That's what it is.

It's that unreserved.

Yes.

God can do so much with our little yes.

And I've seen that in my life.

And, like, just.

I mean, watching you, like, reckless, abandoned, like, unreserved.

Yeah.

God will do it.

Yeah.

Well, thank you so much for being with us.

Thank you for having me.

I want to steal your hubby.

We'll have to hang out more.

He's back there smiling like.

Yep, just made me.

Already got cold plunges set up and all kinds of stuff.

I'm going to abuse them, send them back.

Yeah.

But thank you so much.

I really appreciate it.