Aug. 13, 2025

My Worthless 2cent Table Talk

My Worthless 2cent Table Talk
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My Worthless 2cent Table Talk
My Worthless 2cent Table Talk
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Transcript
WEBVTT

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Coming at your life once more again. Also what I

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need for you to do? Sit back, relax, put on

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your head, giar, oh my worthless two since it's about

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to put something.

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In your ah.

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And here we go, Here we go, Here we go.

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Oh yeah, the boy is here. The boy is here.

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The boy is here. Oh man, look at here. Welcome one,

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Welcome all, Welcome, Welcome to the table. Welcome to the table.

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Man.

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Man, I'm excited. I'm excited. And I don't know if

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y'all know. When I come in here and I hit

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this gold button, I just get excited. I'm telling you,

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I really do. I just get excited.

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Man. This is this is thank God.

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It has been a wonderful, wonderful month of July for myself,

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but this is it. It's the last show of the month.

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This is the last show of the month of July.

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And man, I could not I cannot say thank you

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enough to each and every one of y'all who have supported,

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not just in the month of July, but to each

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and every one of y'all who have supported and have

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been there. I thank you for tuning in. I thank

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you for the shares, I thank you for the likes.

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I thank you for the comments. I will say this

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moving in too before I get into anything else, moving

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into the month of August.

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Man, look, if y'all want to or.

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Have an idea, or you have a comment, or you

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have something that you want to say about this wonderful show.

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I got it wonderful.

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But if there's something you want to say about it, man,

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you can drop me a message. You can go to

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my pod page and do a review. Also, I just

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want to say this, I do have a pod page,

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and the pod page is basically the landing page for

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every show that has ever been done, every single show,

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anytime y'all see me live, anytime y'all see me anywhere.

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You can go back and you can watch watch the show.

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You can go back and see some of the wonderful

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guests that have been on the show. You can pull

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up their information and see who they are or how

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if there was somebody that cult your interests, or an

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author or a musician, whoever it may be, or a

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speaker that caught your attention that was on this show,

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you can go back. All their information is there where

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you can get in touch with them. You can get

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in contact with them. You can also go on there,

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and you can leave a comment whatever your comment is.

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That's your comments, ain't my comments, and your comment whatever

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you may want to leave on there. If you have

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an idea, you say, hey, country boy, man, I would

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like to see a show about this, or I would

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like to here's somebody that I know that may want

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to come on and share their journey, or hey, I

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want to come on and share my journey. Leave a comment,

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leave a message, drop me an email, whatever you want

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to do. But I appreciate y'all understand I say that.

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I say that because this I have to explain this,

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and I will. I love to explain this. This is

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not my platform, this is not mine. This is God.

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He gave me this to just watch over. He gave

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me this just to watch over. This don't belong to

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the country boy, and I don't sit up here and

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act like his mind and this is his. I'm just

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I'm just a doorkeep I'm just a button pusher. So

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if there's anyone that feels like I want a place

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to be able to come and talk and share without judgment,

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because anybody right here I want to I've been on

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this journey or I'm going through this right here, right here.

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This is what this is about.

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And I tell people all the time that none of

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this is pre recorded, none of this is scripted.

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None of it.

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For the first time last night I wrote down some notes.

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I wrote down some things because I wanted to deliver something.

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But none of this is. It comes straight, it's authentic.

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What you see is what you get. What you see

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is what you get.

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This is it. This is it.

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Ain't nothing made up about it, it ain't nothing phony about it.

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It's it right here. I'm not here to down anybody.

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I'm not here to discourage anybody. I'm not here to

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do anything other than what this platform is far to encourage,

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to uplift and to support others. So before I get

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into that, I got to get into this before I

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get into that, because I ain't gonna be up on

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here along. I'm telling you, I ain't gonna be up

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on here along. I'm gonna pop this old thing back.

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I'm gonna pop this off right here. I'm gonna rub

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this old shiny head, and I'm gonna say this the Father,

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thank you for this day, Father God. I want to

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thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you Father God.

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Here we are the thirtieth day of the seventh month.

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Some that started out with us are no longer with us,

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Father God. Some of us have lost, some of us

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have gained. Some of us have been through some hurt,

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and some of us have been through some pain. Some

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of us have seen some joy, and some of us

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have seen some rain. But through it all, Father God,

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you have been here with us, through it all, and

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I just want to say thank you. I just want

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to say thank you. Some of us are struggling with addictions.

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Some of us are struggling with mental problems. Some of

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us are struggling with physical problems, Father God, but I

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still just want to say thank you. Some of us

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have tears in our eyes, some of us have smiles

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on our face. Father God, I just want to say

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thank you, Father God. Some of us don't know where

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our next meal is coming from. Some of us don't

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know how we're gonna make it one more day, Father God,

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but I just wanna say thank you. Some of us

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have lost parents, some of us have lost siblings. Some

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of us have lost uncles, cousins and best friends. But

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Father God, I just won't to say thank you, because

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Father God, you are the same good, same God, in

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the good and in the bad. No matter what we

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may face, Father God, your grace, your mercy, Father God,

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it is sufficient. And I just want to say thank you,

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Father God. Thank you for the ones that you've allowed

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in and Father God, thank you for the ones you've

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closed the door on.

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Father God. I just want to say thank you, Father God.

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Thank you for the ones who've cheered, and thank you

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for the ones who booed. Father God. I just want

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to say thank you, Father God. Thank you in the

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have and thank you in the have not, Father God,

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thank you in the rain, and thank you in the sun.

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Father God. I just want to say thank you. I

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thank you, thank you, thank you for your grace, thank

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you for your mercy.

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Thank you, Father God. I pray for a pray for

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each and everyone.

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I pray for strength, I pray for wisdom, and I

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pray for understanding.

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Father God.

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I just want to say thank you, Father God. I

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just want to say as I sit here, as I'm

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saying this prayer, and I think, I think, I think,

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I think about the children that prayed because they wanted

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a king, because everyone around them had a king. Your

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children they prayed because they saw what everybody else had,

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and they wanted what everybody else had, Father God. I pray,

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Father God, I say to you this day, Father God,

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don't give me. Don't give me what I want. Father God,

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protect me from me, see because sometimes I want some

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things that you know are not good for me. But

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you love me so much as you say, go ahead,

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Father God. Thank you, Thank you, thank you, thank you,

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thank you for your protection.

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Thank you for your guidance. Father God.

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I pray for each and everyone that can hear my voice,

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each and every one of them.

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Father God. I pray for them.

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Father God, I pray keep the heads of protection around us.

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Sometimes we get in our own way. Father God, I

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thank you, I thank you. I may not have everything

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I want, but God, you give me every single.

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Thing, and I thank you that.

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I thank you, and I pray for each and every

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person that you continue to provide for them every thing

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that they need.

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Not just this day, but every day. I ask these

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prayers in your son Jesus name. Amen. Amen, Amen, All right,

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look at him who.

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Well again? Old comfortable. I told you I ain't gonna

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be on here long. I just I want to just

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really really really just say thank you. I want to

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say thank you. Thank you having the Father. I thank

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you for allowing these wonderful people, some of the people

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I've never met, I never talked to, don't even know.

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But I thank you, Father God for touching their hearts

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that they open up and come here to listen to support.

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I'm grateful. I'm grateful, and I'm humble. Like I said,

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I'm not gonna be on here long. This is this

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is the last show of the month. And y'all know

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it's Wednesday. And if y'all don't know anything about me,

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know anything about this journey, I know anything about this story.

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Yes.

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Sometimes now I say, man, I'm stretching myself. I'm over

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here and I'm doing over this, and I'm doing that.

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But the one thing, the two things that I said

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and I made a promise to my heavenly Father that

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I would do, is every Monday and every.

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Wednesday, every Monday and every Wednesday, I would be right here.

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Sometimes a little bit late, I ain't gonna get I

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don't get me wrong.

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Sometimes I'll be running to be lately, to be bad.

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But every Monday and every Wednesday, I will be here.

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I'll be coming on here. I've been here for the

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last four years four years by God's grace, through sickness, here,

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through heartache, here, through disappointment.

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I've been here, not because I'm coming.

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To shine and the gloss and flaws. I'm coming for

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God's God. It's been so good. Let me tell y'all,

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this started with me sitting in front of a camera.

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That's just like I am now.

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But this started with me sitting in front of a

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camera going through a separation at the time, going through

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a separation from my family, going through a separation from

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my children. And I came on and I started pouring out.

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And I wasn't pouring out no different than I am now,

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not about anybody else, but he was. Here's if y'all

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don't know this, let me tell you something. When I

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look at these cameras, see y'all don't see y'all. When

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I look at these cameras, I see me. When I

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look at these cameras, if y'all don't know, what I

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see is a reflection of me. So when I'm talking,

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I'm looking at me. I'm looking at me, and I'm

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talking to me, and I'm saying, God, I thank.

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You for where you brought me from.

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God, I thank you from sitting in front of that camera,

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broken but having a conversation with you.

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Yeah, I've been here, and when.

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I've gotten up, I sometimes couldn't do nothing but just

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go lay down because I had just poured it all out.

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I poured out my life, not because it's so glorious.

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I don't come on here and share because I have

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this fantastic, amazing life and everything is perfect. No, I

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pour out because I have a perfect God. I pour

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out because I have a perfect God. I have a

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perfect God.

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I have a God who has.

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Seen me through some of the in my mind because

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because some of y'all have gone through some things. So

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this ain't a comparison to say, well, what you what

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I went through more than you know. I'm just saying

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some of the things in my mind, well, the worst

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things I could face.

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I've come here. I've come here.

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I've come here to share because I want to those

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that don't think. I want to encourage those that don't

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think that they can make it, that you can make it.

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I want to encourage those who people have walked away from,

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who people have talked about. I want those to say

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I can still make it. I've seen an old country

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boy old, comfortable, old gray, old man up there, steady talking.

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And every every time I turn around, I see him

239
00:15:23.480 --> 00:15:28.000
and he's smiling and he dancing and he's talking like

240
00:15:28.080 --> 00:15:29.919
he ain't got nothing going on.

241
00:15:30.120 --> 00:15:32.679
No, it ain't that I ain't got nothing going on.

242
00:15:35.039 --> 00:15:37.600
It's that I got somebody who's handling what I got

243
00:15:37.639 --> 00:15:42.720
going on. Oh, it ain't that I don't want to

244
00:15:42.840 --> 00:15:44.879
break down and cry.

245
00:15:44.559 --> 00:15:47.879
But he says, why cry? Just give it to me

246
00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:51.679
and you keep on going, You keep on pushing, you

247
00:15:51.799 --> 00:15:57.840
keep on going. See. I come here.

248
00:16:02.600 --> 00:16:09.480
Share my life, just like my life. I do this

249
00:16:09.840 --> 00:16:15.600
live because my life is live. My mess ups have

250
00:16:15.679 --> 00:16:24.919
been live, My forgiveness has been live, my unforgiveness was live.

251
00:16:25.080 --> 00:16:29.159
My hurt has been live. So I don't have time.

252
00:16:29.320 --> 00:16:32.600
I can't edit nothing, so I'm not gonna edit when

253
00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:37.759
I come here, I'm not.

254
00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:40.600
Gonna edit it. This is real.

255
00:16:41.559 --> 00:16:45.759
Yes, let me tell you this joy that I have.

256
00:16:47.840 --> 00:16:50.440
The world didn't give it, and the world can't take

257
00:16:50.440 --> 00:16:50.840
it away.

258
00:16:51.559 --> 00:16:55.519
This joy I have. I come here live. I come

259
00:16:55.559 --> 00:16:56.759
here live, not because.

260
00:16:56.559 --> 00:16:59.039
I'm coming here and I'm trying to work out and

261
00:16:59.080 --> 00:17:02.360
I'm trying to show something. I don't dance because I

262
00:17:02.399 --> 00:17:05.240
want somebody to be impressed by my dancer. Let me

263
00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:07.839
tell y'all something. When you may see me out that dancing,

264
00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:09.839
and you may see me doing this because let me

265
00:17:09.880 --> 00:17:11.519
tell you, I did it in the streets.

266
00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:12.440
For a long time.

267
00:17:12.799 --> 00:17:15.160
I used to dance, and I was in the club

268
00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:16.079
every night.

269
00:17:22.680 --> 00:17:23.559
But now.

270
00:17:24.759 --> 00:17:27.200
I still dance. I just dance to a different DJ.

271
00:17:30.920 --> 00:17:34.680
I don't knock anybody for where they are because I

272
00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:37.160
may not have been. I've said this before and I'm

273
00:17:37.160 --> 00:17:40.480
gonna say it again. I don't knock anybody for where

274
00:17:40.519 --> 00:17:44.680
they are or for where they've been. I may not

275
00:17:44.839 --> 00:17:48.519
have been exactly in the house that you've been in,

276
00:17:48.759 --> 00:17:52.440
but baby, it is old wretched country boy been down

277
00:17:52.519 --> 00:17:59.680
that street. I have been a lot of things in

278
00:17:59.720 --> 00:18:03.640
my life life, and I come here open honest and

279
00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:08.279
transparent about it. I've hurt people in my life, open

280
00:18:08.359 --> 00:18:11.200
honest and transparent. It's not that I'm bragging about it,

281
00:18:11.279 --> 00:18:13.559
but that's the truth about it. Folks hide behind a

282
00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:15.920
whole bunch of stuff. Let me tell y'all, I did

283
00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:24.440
this a while back. One of the first things I

284
00:18:24.519 --> 00:18:34.119
talked about it was take me to the spot. This

285
00:18:34.200 --> 00:18:36.640
is when I had to do some I had to

286
00:18:36.720 --> 00:18:41.400
do some soul searching. It was take me to the spot,

287
00:18:44.119 --> 00:18:48.359
and you you say, coutry boy, what are you talking about?

288
00:18:48.599 --> 00:18:51.160
Take me to the spot, Take me to the spot

289
00:18:51.160 --> 00:18:55.599
when you first will hurt.

290
00:18:56.039 --> 00:19:02.440
Take me to the spot of your first disappointment. Take

291
00:19:02.519 --> 00:19:05.440
me to the spot of your first loss. See, let

292
00:19:05.480 --> 00:19:09.039
me tell you what lies in that spot. See for me,

293
00:19:09.319 --> 00:19:12.640
for me, for me, all these years, and I can

294
00:19:12.839 --> 00:19:15.200
end the month like this. Let me end the month

295
00:19:15.279 --> 00:19:17.720
like this. Let me give y'all some background. Let me

296
00:19:17.799 --> 00:19:22.559
end the month like this. For years, for years, in

297
00:19:22.640 --> 00:19:28.359
this life of mine, everybody's got a spot first and foremost.

298
00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:33.759
But for years, in this life of mine, I had

299
00:19:33.880 --> 00:19:36.160
covered that spot.

300
00:19:36.519 --> 00:19:37.720
I had covered that.

301
00:19:37.799 --> 00:19:42.640
Stuff with stuff. This is biblical, so you may get

302
00:19:42.680 --> 00:19:45.559
it or you may not see. If you remember, there's

303
00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:47.279
a story, And I didn't come here to preach. I'm

304
00:19:47.319 --> 00:19:49.920
just telling you about my life. There was a story

305
00:19:50.000 --> 00:19:53.119
in the Bible about a fellow named Lazards who had

306
00:19:53.240 --> 00:20:04.319
died and was in a tune. See my life, I

307
00:20:04.400 --> 00:20:10.279
had done not physically, but I had died because something

308
00:20:10.519 --> 00:20:17.400
internally was dead. For years, for years, for years, I

309
00:20:17.440 --> 00:20:21.039
had covered that deadness up with stuff. I don't know

310
00:20:21.079 --> 00:20:24.079
if anybody else covers stuff up with stuff, See I

311
00:20:24.119 --> 00:20:27.519
had covered Some people cover that stuff up the spot.

312
00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:32.240
See you run around and you won't degree after degree

313
00:20:32.319 --> 00:20:35.079
after degree after degree. You stay in school and you

314
00:20:35.160 --> 00:20:37.079
go to school, and you just keep going to school,

315
00:20:37.119 --> 00:20:38.880
and you want disagree and that degree and disagree and

316
00:20:38.920 --> 00:20:40.960
that degree, because what you're trying to do is you're

317
00:20:41.000 --> 00:20:44.160
trying to have those degrees to take your mind off

318
00:20:44.200 --> 00:20:47.200
of it. Some people cover the spot up with addiction,

319
00:20:47.880 --> 00:20:51.519
whether it's alcohol, whether it's drugs, whether it's pornography, whatever

320
00:20:51.559 --> 00:20:52.079
it may be.

321
00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:54.960
They cover that spot up with those.

322
00:20:54.680 --> 00:20:56.799
Things because they don't want to deal with that spot,

323
00:20:57.000 --> 00:21:00.319
so they're hoping that that thing will eliminate the pain.

324
00:21:00.640 --> 00:21:03.640
Don't you know I had that. I covered my up

325
00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:06.799
with relationships. I covered my spot up. I was in

326
00:21:06.920 --> 00:21:11.680
relationship after relationship after relationship because I was going through because.

327
00:21:12.839 --> 00:21:16.039
I didn't want to deal with me.

328
00:21:17.680 --> 00:21:20.160
I didn't want to deal with me. I didn't want

329
00:21:20.200 --> 00:21:23.240
to deal with my issues. I didn't want to deal

330
00:21:23.440 --> 00:21:27.920
with my thing. I talked about it last night. Some people,

331
00:21:28.119 --> 00:21:31.440
some people so quick to call people broken. I wasn't broken.

332
00:21:31.519 --> 00:21:38.559
I was just holding baggage. It was for me. This

333
00:21:38.599 --> 00:21:42.480
is how this started, all of this. God allowed this

334
00:21:42.920 --> 00:21:46.240
me to come out and share these things about my life,

335
00:21:46.440 --> 00:21:49.440
about what I have gone through because what I know,

336
00:21:49.799 --> 00:21:52.279
what I know, what I know, be under the shadow

337
00:21:52.319 --> 00:21:55.559
of a doubt. Wherever I have come from, somebody is

338
00:21:55.599 --> 00:21:59.440
going there or somebody is there wherever I've come from,

339
00:21:59.640 --> 00:22:03.240
whether the hurt, whether the pain, wherever I've come from,

340
00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:04.079
somebody's there.

341
00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:07.599
And see, God.

342
00:22:07.400 --> 00:22:16.640
Says you, you, you, you unperfect you, you feilthy you.

343
00:22:15.480 --> 00:22:16.200
You dirty you.

344
00:22:16.559 --> 00:22:19.359
What you can do is you can be able to

345
00:22:19.480 --> 00:22:21.240
show others what I can do.

346
00:22:25.240 --> 00:22:26.119
That was my spot.

347
00:22:26.319 --> 00:22:29.480
My spot was relationships. I covered it up. I covered

348
00:22:29.480 --> 00:22:35.519
it up. I covered up in and out manages relationships,

349
00:22:35.640 --> 00:22:38.920
manages relationships, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

350
00:22:39.079 --> 00:22:42.440
Because I never took the time to go back to

351
00:22:42.519 --> 00:22:43.599
the spot.

352
00:22:48.599 --> 00:22:51.079
I never took time to go back to the spot.

353
00:22:52.400 --> 00:22:55.640
See what will happened And what happened to me is

354
00:22:55.680 --> 00:22:58.240
that came a point in my life where I could

355
00:22:58.319 --> 00:23:06.000
no longer move forward until I went back, until I

356
00:23:06.039 --> 00:23:09.359
went back, until I was able to finally, as I'm

357
00:23:09.400 --> 00:23:11.640
looking here, see I can look at me now. See

358
00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:13.319
for the longest time, I couldn't look at me in

359
00:23:13.359 --> 00:23:15.079
a camera. I couldn't look at me in a mirror

360
00:23:15.200 --> 00:23:19.279
because I didn't even recognize who I was looking at.

361
00:23:19.599 --> 00:23:20.720
See, I can look at me now.

362
00:23:23.240 --> 00:23:24.920
I'm not saying I can look at me because I'm

363
00:23:24.920 --> 00:23:27.119
so handsome and I'm so perfect. I can look at

364
00:23:27.119 --> 00:23:30.640
me because I know who I am. I know whose

365
00:23:30.720 --> 00:23:34.079
I am. I can look at me. I can look

366
00:23:34.119 --> 00:23:38.039
at me and say, you know what. You went back.

367
00:23:39.519 --> 00:23:43.519
You went back, You went back in, even though the

368
00:23:43.559 --> 00:23:46.799
going back was painful, even though the going back cause

369
00:23:46.839 --> 00:23:49.559
did to cry, But you went back. See, let me

370
00:23:49.559 --> 00:23:54.039
tell you that was Take me to the spot of

371
00:23:54.119 --> 00:23:58.480
that first hurt. Take me to the spot of that

372
00:23:58.519 --> 00:24:02.400
first disappointment. Take me to the spot of that first loss.

373
00:24:02.519 --> 00:24:05.960
Take me to the spot, see my spot on all

374
00:24:06.079 --> 00:24:10.640
these years. It took me fifty some years to discover

375
00:24:11.160 --> 00:24:18.599
my spot, my spots. My spots started when I was

376
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:20.559
four and a half. That was my spot, that was

377
00:24:20.599 --> 00:24:25.160
the thing. My pain started at four and a half. See,

378
00:24:25.240 --> 00:24:28.400
it hurts so bad that I had to cover it up,

379
00:24:30.200 --> 00:24:33.000
not deal with it, say it again, not deal with it,

380
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:39.319
but cover it up. It hurts so bad. All those

381
00:24:39.400 --> 00:24:42.039
years ago, I just covered it up. See, and let

382
00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:43.640
me tell you something. When you try to cover some

383
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:48.680
up and it don't heal it, never ever, ever, have

384
00:24:48.839 --> 00:24:53.880
you ever had a cut and you put a band

385
00:24:53.920 --> 00:24:57.000
aid over it to think it was gonna heal with

386
00:24:57.039 --> 00:24:59.279
that band aid over. Let me tell you something. All

387
00:24:59.319 --> 00:25:02.640
you doing is cover it, don't heal. What makes it

388
00:25:02.680 --> 00:25:07.160
heal is the air got to hit that thing, and

389
00:25:07.160 --> 00:25:07.920
the air had.

390
00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:08.240
To hit me.

391
00:25:10.400 --> 00:25:15.039
I had to be hit to go back in. I

392
00:25:15.200 --> 00:25:23.119
couldn't fix everything that I had broken. I couldn't repair

393
00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:24.519
every life that.

394
00:25:24.640 --> 00:25:30.119
I had destroyed. I couldn't write every wrong.

395
00:25:32.119 --> 00:25:35.160
But I could dang show and make a try by

396
00:25:35.319 --> 00:25:45.039
starting to heal and fix me, I started working on me.

397
00:25:48.079 --> 00:25:51.599
I went back in and discovered why I went through

398
00:25:51.640 --> 00:25:57.519
so many things. What happened way back when? What happened

399
00:25:57.839 --> 00:26:03.920
it was this little old, now beheaded boy who lost

400
00:26:03.920 --> 00:26:12.000
his daddy. But he didn't know how. He didn't know

401
00:26:12.119 --> 00:26:19.880
how to say how much it hurt. He didn't know

402
00:26:20.039 --> 00:26:23.799
how to express his feelings.

403
00:26:26.759 --> 00:26:27.680
He didn't know how.

404
00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:32.960
So for years, for years, for years, that same thing

405
00:26:33.319 --> 00:26:37.279
that I didn't know how kept resurfacing in relationships. I

406
00:26:37.319 --> 00:26:41.720
didn't know how to express my feelings. I didn't know

407
00:26:41.759 --> 00:26:45.799
how to talk about it. What I didn't know how

408
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:50.519
to do then cause damage over and over to others.

409
00:26:51.559 --> 00:26:59.680
Here I was here, I was, as they say, bleeding

410
00:26:59.799 --> 00:27:09.119
on people, bleeding on people who didn't even cut me. Here,

411
00:27:09.160 --> 00:27:13.720
I was bleeding on folks who didn't even cut me.

412
00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:15.200
But here was the thing.

413
00:27:15.720 --> 00:27:19.279
I didn't even realize that I was bleeding on them.

414
00:27:21.680 --> 00:27:25.720
I was actually mad at them because they up there

415
00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:28.880
trying to make me be accountable for me, and I'm

416
00:27:28.920 --> 00:27:34.160
going like, I don't know what you're talking about. I

417
00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:38.640
had to go back. See, I had to go back

418
00:27:38.680 --> 00:27:41.119
because I finally.

419
00:27:42.160 --> 00:27:47.039
Realized. See, God had given me.

420
00:27:48.960 --> 00:27:54.400
Chance after chance after chance, but I didn't realize that's

421
00:27:54.440 --> 00:28:00.640
what he was doing. It wasn't until it wasn't until

422
00:28:01.920 --> 00:28:08.680
the birth of my last child. And I say last,

423
00:28:08.759 --> 00:28:13.119
because I even bled on my oldest child. I didn't

424
00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:15.559
even know how to connect with my oldest I didn't

425
00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:18.279
know how to connect with my wife. I didn't know

426
00:28:18.279 --> 00:28:21.880
how to connect, truly connect with anybody I was with

427
00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:26.799
because I wasn't even connected with me.

428
00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:30.400
I had to go back.

429
00:28:33.279 --> 00:28:37.400
And when I went back, and I removed all of

430
00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:41.480
the stuff out of the way, and I got to

431
00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:46.839
moving things, and I got to spending time with myself,

432
00:28:47.359 --> 00:28:50.559
and I got to reflecting myself, and I got to

433
00:28:50.640 --> 00:28:55.519
dealing with myself and my stuff. I moved everybody else's

434
00:28:55.559 --> 00:28:57.839
stuff that I had been dealing with, so now it

435
00:28:57.880 --> 00:29:00.279
was time for me to deal with my stuff off.

436
00:29:01.240 --> 00:29:06.200
And when I finally finally dealt with my stuff and

437
00:29:06.359 --> 00:29:11.160
I got to the issue, or as they say in

438
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:13.359
the country, I got to the core of that thing,

439
00:29:15.319 --> 00:29:18.519
and I realized what it had been was I had

440
00:29:18.559 --> 00:29:23.400
an inability to express myself because everything in my life

441
00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:29.880
had been suppressed. Why do I why I got a

442
00:29:29.880 --> 00:29:32.160
big old mouth right now, Because for years I didn't

443
00:29:32.200 --> 00:29:35.720
have no mouth because I didn't know how to express myself.

444
00:29:35.920 --> 00:29:38.359
So now, boy, when y'all hear my big country mouth,

445
00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:41.839
it's because I'm truly expressing who I am. This is

446
00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:46.160
years of me wanting to talk but didn't know how

447
00:29:46.200 --> 00:29:51.079
to talk. Just felt like, you know what, I want

448
00:29:51.160 --> 00:29:53.839
to say something, just it's not working.

449
00:29:56.640 --> 00:29:57.920
I want to say how I feel.

450
00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:03.359
See, I'm that fella when I tell you I've been

451
00:30:04.039 --> 00:30:06.240
I may not have been in your house, but I've

452
00:30:06.279 --> 00:30:08.400
been down that street. See, I was that fella that

453
00:30:08.440 --> 00:30:11.400
went through relationships. I was that fella who went through

454
00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:14.039
the loss of a child. I was that fella who's

455
00:30:14.079 --> 00:30:17.759
gone through abortions. I was that fella who did some cheating.

456
00:30:17.839 --> 00:30:20.359
I was that fella who got cheated on. I was

457
00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:22.880
that fella that did some live I was that fellaw

458
00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:23.759
who got lied to.

459
00:30:24.400 --> 00:30:24.920
That was me?

460
00:30:31.359 --> 00:30:32.720
How was that fella.

461
00:30:36.599 --> 00:30:43.079
Who was so much wanted want it to be in

462
00:30:43.160 --> 00:30:46.839
relationships because guess what, the relationship would have kept me

463
00:30:46.920 --> 00:30:48.240
from the relationship.

464
00:30:48.440 --> 00:30:48.839
See.

465
00:30:48.920 --> 00:30:52.079
I wanted to be in relationships because the relationship kept

466
00:30:52.119 --> 00:30:55.279
me from the relationship. Because when you in a relationship,

467
00:30:55.359 --> 00:30:59.519
first and foremost, you share the most intimate things. When

468
00:30:59.559 --> 00:31:05.519
you're in a relationship, everything is transparent. When you in

469
00:31:05.720 --> 00:31:09.000
a relationship, you deal with the hard, ugly stuff.

470
00:31:09.160 --> 00:31:09.440
See.

471
00:31:09.519 --> 00:31:12.400
I wanted to be in relationships over here, but I

472
00:31:12.440 --> 00:31:21.519
was never in a relationship with me. See, I couldn't

473
00:31:21.559 --> 00:31:25.240
even express to me how I felt about being so

474
00:31:25.480 --> 00:31:28.319
how in the world could I ever express to anybody

475
00:31:28.359 --> 00:31:40.759
else about anything that's me been down those roads. And

476
00:31:40.839 --> 00:31:46.279
that's what God allowed this platform for. That's why when

477
00:31:46.440 --> 00:31:52.279
anybody that comes there is no judgment. I can't judge nobody.

478
00:31:53.039 --> 00:32:00.440
Why would I I can't down nobody. Why would I.

479
00:32:00.440 --> 00:32:08.640
I can't look my nose down at anybody. Why would I.

480
00:32:08.640 --> 00:32:15.960
I've been in the slums, I've been in the mud.

481
00:32:18.319 --> 00:32:20.400
Some people say, oh, I got it out of the mud.

482
00:32:20.680 --> 00:32:26.680
God got me out of the mud, got me out.

483
00:32:30.240 --> 00:32:38.920
When God allowed my daughter's mother and I to be

484
00:32:39.079 --> 00:32:48.559
her parents, when he chose us to be her parents,

485
00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:57.359
that was something that shifted inside of me. What shifted

486
00:32:57.480 --> 00:33:01.519
was this. I knew God, I can't continue being.

487
00:33:02.799 --> 00:33:03.359
When I've been.

488
00:33:03.759 --> 00:33:08.240
I can't continue see because even though I'm not what

489
00:33:08.359 --> 00:33:12.079
I used to be. Then I got to really really

490
00:33:12.119 --> 00:33:18.319
get this thing together, and I can't do it by myself.

491
00:33:18.839 --> 00:33:19.359
I can't.

492
00:33:19.359 --> 00:33:22.839
Oh, Lord, and see, here's the thing that I had

493
00:33:22.880 --> 00:33:27.319
spent time even before I spent time by myself. I

494
00:33:27.319 --> 00:33:31.200
spend time searching. But still there were things I needed

495
00:33:31.240 --> 00:33:34.119
to see. You know how you get so close to

496
00:33:34.160 --> 00:33:35.559
something and you think that you got it in your

497
00:33:35.559 --> 00:33:36.119
walk away.

498
00:33:36.599 --> 00:33:46.599
I got close. I got close. I got close, but.

499
00:33:46.640 --> 00:33:48.680
Then I walked away because I thought now I got

500
00:33:48.720 --> 00:33:50.359
it over, I got this, I can handle it.

501
00:33:50.559 --> 00:33:51.160
I couldn't.

502
00:33:53.599 --> 00:33:58.640
But I knew at that moment, at that stage of life,

503
00:33:58.680 --> 00:34:00.279
when God says, guess what.

504
00:34:02.519 --> 00:34:05.920
I choose you. And here's what.

505
00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:11.480
Let me tell y'all, this is me my testimony.

506
00:34:15.280 --> 00:34:16.440
At the moment.

507
00:34:18.280 --> 00:34:20.920
That my youngest child was born, and at the moment

508
00:34:21.199 --> 00:34:25.000
that I held her and I sang to her, I

509
00:34:25.039 --> 00:34:34.440
also prayed. I prayed, and I said, thank you, thank

510
00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:43.360
you for allowing us this gift. I didn't say she's mine,

511
00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:49.920
she's ours. I said she's yours, but thank you for

512
00:34:50.039 --> 00:34:54.039
allowing us to watch over, to guide and protect.

513
00:34:56.559 --> 00:35:01.480
See, at that moment, I knew that it was much bigger.

514
00:35:01.599 --> 00:35:04.840
There was so much work I still needed to do.

515
00:35:05.119 --> 00:35:07.639
There were so many things I still needed to I

516
00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:09.440
got to learn how to truly.

517
00:35:10.880 --> 00:35:12.440
Truly communicate.

518
00:35:12.679 --> 00:35:18.119
I got to learn how to truly truly have a voice.

519
00:35:18.320 --> 00:35:19.320
I have to learn.

520
00:35:22.039 --> 00:35:30.199
Because I'm eventually, if I don't, I'm gonna bled on

521
00:35:30.360 --> 00:35:31.360
this child.

522
00:35:32.519 --> 00:35:33.480
That didn't even cut me.

523
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:45.159
Since that moment, since that time, I have prayed, and

524
00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:52.199
I consistently prayed. I have asked for forgiveness from those

525
00:35:52.239 --> 00:36:02.679
that I've wrong, and I've forgiven everyone who's wrong. I've

526
00:36:02.719 --> 00:36:08.159
gone back into the spot, and God allowed me to

527
00:36:08.239 --> 00:36:11.639
go back into that spot, and he said, guess what, now,

528
00:36:11.679 --> 00:36:13.920
you can step out of brand new And when I

529
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:20.239
stepped out, he said, shake off them death clothes. See

530
00:36:20.239 --> 00:36:21.559
what I had to go back in and I had

531
00:36:21.559 --> 00:36:23.880
to move all the stuff out the way, and I

532
00:36:23.960 --> 00:36:30.559
had to pull out the deadness, that thing that was dead,

533
00:36:30.679 --> 00:36:34.800
the love that was dead inside of me, the unconditional

534
00:36:34.880 --> 00:36:38.679
love that was dead inside of me, the ability to

535
00:36:38.880 --> 00:36:42.320
connect with someone that was dead inside of me. I

536
00:36:42.360 --> 00:36:45.119
don't know about anybody else. My truth, My truth is this.

537
00:36:45.400 --> 00:36:47.199
See that was a point in my life. That was

538
00:36:47.239 --> 00:36:49.360
a point in my life where I could get close

539
00:36:49.440 --> 00:36:51.239
to you, but you could never get close to me.

540
00:36:52.599 --> 00:36:54.199
I don't know if anybody know that thing.

541
00:36:54.719 --> 00:36:57.360
I could get close, but you could never ever ever

542
00:36:57.440 --> 00:37:00.920
get close to me. See, folks pretend in see, but

543
00:37:01.079 --> 00:37:06.679
here's that thing that was. That was that thing I

544
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:16.079
had because that part of me was dead. It died

545
00:37:17.400 --> 00:37:27.480
when my father died. But God brought it back. He

546
00:37:27.719 --> 00:37:34.480
brought it back. So when I come and I'm here

547
00:37:35.119 --> 00:37:38.239
and I say the words to you as I'm saying

548
00:37:38.320 --> 00:37:41.559
right now, that's I'm getting ready to go. When I

549
00:37:41.599 --> 00:37:44.760
tell you that I love you, let me tell you

550
00:37:45.599 --> 00:37:47.559
that ain't coming from the deadness.

551
00:37:48.199 --> 00:37:52.559
That's coming from the life.

552
00:37:52.920 --> 00:37:56.519
That ain't coming because it's something cute to say, it's coming,

553
00:37:56.519 --> 00:38:02.199
because it's real. Because I I love you and I

554
00:38:02.239 --> 00:38:11.320
want the best for each and everyone. I pray, I

555
00:38:11.360 --> 00:38:15.280
pray that each and every one of you finds the courage,

556
00:38:16.119 --> 00:38:22.960
finds the strength and gains the wisdom to go back

557
00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:27.800
to your spot, to whatever is dead in your life,

558
00:38:31.920 --> 00:38:39.159
and you allow God to resurrect that thing, whatever is

559
00:38:39.239 --> 00:38:46.559
dead in your life. You allow God to resurrect that thing.

560
00:38:46.880 --> 00:38:53.119
Whatever that spot is, wherever you left it, wherever you

561
00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:56.199
left that peace, at, wherever you left that joy, at,

562
00:38:56.280 --> 00:39:00.880
wherever you left that love, at, wherever you left that forgiveness.

563
00:39:00.960 --> 00:39:02.360
And I pray.

564
00:39:03.840 --> 00:39:13.039
This day, July thirtieth, I pray that each and every

565
00:39:13.039 --> 00:39:23.079
one of you has the strength, has the wisdom, has

566
00:39:23.119 --> 00:39:30.320
the understanding to ask God, take me back to that spot.

567
00:39:30.679 --> 00:39:32.119
And resurrect.

568
00:39:33.199 --> 00:39:42.519
That that is dead inside of me, my joy, my peace,

569
00:39:44.199 --> 00:39:53.039
my love, and my forgiveness resurrected, resurrected, resurrected.

570
00:39:55.119 --> 00:39:57.920
I love y'all, I love y'all. I love you. I

571
00:39:57.960 --> 00:39:58.280
love you.

572
00:39:59.400 --> 00:40:04.800
I hope y'all have a fantastic weekend. And I your

573
00:40:04.960 --> 00:40:11.679
favorite country boy, We'll see you next month. If it's

574
00:40:11.679 --> 00:40:18.000
the Lord's Will good night, good night,