Oct. 13, 2024

Unlocking self discovery with Robert Maiolo

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Welcome to another enlightening episode of the Living the Dream podcast with Curveball! Today, we are joined by Robert Maiolo, an author and lifelong learner who believes in the power of questions for self-discovery. In this episode, Robert shares insights from his book, "The Book With No Answers," available on Amazon, and discusses how asking the right questions can lead to profound personal growth. Discover how to unlock the answers within yourself and redefine success on your own terms. Don't miss this inspiring conversation!
Want to be a guest on Living the Dream with Curveball? Send Curtis Jackson a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1628631536976x919760049303001600

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Welcome, um, to the Living the dream podcast with curveball. Um, if you believe you can achieve Chee Chee, welcome to the Living the dream with Curveball podcast, a show where I interview guests that teach, motivate and inspire.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Today I am joined by Arthur questioner and lifelong learner, Robert Maiolo.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Robert believes that people have the answers to their problems more than they give themselves credit for. And he is interested in all of the steps in life's journey. So we're going to be talking to him about his writings and what a questionnaire he is. So, Robert, thank you so much for joining me today.

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> Robert Maiolo>Thank you for having me. Appreciate you having me on.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Why don't you start off by telling everybody a little bit about yourself?

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> Robert Maiolo>Yep. So, hi, everyone. My name is Robert. I live in Toronto, uh, Ontario, Canada. I have my whole life, um, I'm an author.

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> Robert Maiolo>I wrote the book with no answers. It's available, uh, on Amazon. And essentially, uh, what the book is about is kind, uh, of like how Curtis was alluding to. It's a book full of questions. And that kind of came about, um, throughout my career. So I worked at a bank, um, for, let's call it ten years, and, uh, I used to, uh, do talks in front of my colleagues, um, at our town halls. And, um, one of the times I was asked to go on stage was to motivate my colleagues to be better at their roles, and I had no clue how to do that. Um, but what I did, or what I was able to do, rather, um, was ask them a bunch of questions that they could then take away throughout their day, throughout their career, and maybe find some of their own answers that, um, might help them find some answers to their life, rather than me just telling you, hey, do this, do that. Um, so that sparked the idea for the book. Took me seven years to write the book, but, um, uh, it sparked the idea of, hey, listen, maybe people have more answers to their problems in life. They just might not be asking themselves the right questions. So, um, that's kind of where the premise of the book came from, and that's kind of, um, that's kind of what I spent a lot of my time talking about and coming to podcasts like this and trying to spread the word.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>So you say that you are a questioner, explain to people what a questioner is?

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> Robert Maiolo>No, I think. I think I kind of always took it for granted, and I thought everyone was like this. That's why I never thought it was anything unique. But as I go through life, I realize that there's a lot of people who don't question anything. A lot of people just wake up, show up, do what they got to do, go home. They never really ask themselves questions as to why am I here? Why am I doing this? Um, what is this for?

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> Robert Maiolo>Um, you know, is there something else I should be doing? Um, those types of things.

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> Robert Maiolo>So, um, to me, a questioner is just someone who asks questions about not only the actions they're taking and the things they do, but their meaning as to why they're here, um, what it is that they should be doing on their time in this planet, um, and just trying to add a little bit more depth and context to their life, rather than just showing up and doing a, B and c and going to bed and doing the same thing the next day.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Well, what do you feel is the best way to go about self discovery?

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> Robert Maiolo>I think. I think the best way to go about self discovery is to ask yourself questions about the things that you're interested in about yourself. So if you're interested in figuring out, uh, who you are and why you're here, and I think sitting around by yourself with a, you know, maybe a piece of paper and a pen and asking yourself questions like, what do I care about? What do I offer to the world? What have I been through that not many other people have been through? What do I want people to know about me? And I think that will allow you to start to find some depth and some meaning into the larger who am I? Question.

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> Robert Maiolo>Because if you sit around and you ask yourself, who am I? It's a big question to ask, and it's difficult to find an answer to.

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> Robert Maiolo>But if you're able to find smaller, easier to digest questions that you can tackle, it allows you to find some answers to easier questions, which you can then snowball into larger things.

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> Robert Maiolo>So if you're trying to go about self discovery, kind of, you know, you can read books and listen to great podcasts like this and try and take some answers from other people, but a lot of advice and answers from other people is based off their life and their experiences and their past and their capabilities and all those sorts of things. So if you want to do self discovery, meaning discovering who you are, then you have to spend a lot of time with yourself. Um, and I think a great way to go about it is to just ask yourself some difficult and sometimes not fun questions, um, and to be super honest with yourself about what those answers might be.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Well, uh, speaking of self discovery, another self discovery question, what do you feel that people struggle the most when it comes to self discovery, they.

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> Robert Maiolo>Focus on who they wish they were or who they thought they were and not who they actually are. So when I go, when I went through this process, so the process I go through in the book, I went through myself. That's how it all came about. And when I went through the process and asked myself, who am I and what do I care about and what do I offer to the world and what have I been through, and what do I want people to know about me? Sometimes I wasn't super thrilled with the answers I came up with, and when I went even further along in my self discovery journey of not only who do I want, not only who am I, but who do I want to be, I also wasn't thrilled with those answers, either. And then it got even worse when I tried to figure out, okay, how am I going to get there? How am I going to make steps in my life? How am I going to find meaning again? I wasn't super thrilled with some. With what some of the answers are. So I think where people go wrong or get hung up is they spend time with trying to figure out who they wish they were, as opposed to understanding who they are, because you can't get anywhere if you don't know who you are. And I think if someone were to ask, where do people go wrong in self discovery, it's don't be whimsical.

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> Robert Maiolo>Don't be, uh oh, I think I'm this or I'm this person 10% of the time.

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> Robert Maiolo>So that means that's who I am all the time. Um, just being super honest with yourself. Super, super honest with yourself, I, um, think is where some people can kind of struggle in their self discovery journey.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Well, I know I was looking through your bio, and.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>And you talk about how questions are important. So, from your perspective, explain why you think questions are so important.

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> Robert Maiolo>I think questions are important for a few reasons. First of all, I think they're fun. I think they just add, like, an exciting element to your life. Uh, rather than, like I said before, rather than just, like, stumble day by day by day, run through your life, try and, like, spend a little time understanding or thinking about kind of why you're here and what you're meant to do.

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> Robert Maiolo>Um, and then I think questions are also important because when you ask yourself a question, you give answers based off of yourself. So if you were to ask someone else for their advice, they're going to give answers based off of their life. But if you ask yourself those questions, then you give answers based off of your life, based off of who you are and what you've been through, your past, your capabilities, your interests.

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> Robert Maiolo>Um, all of these things can contribute to your answers, but the only way you can find those answers is if you ask yourself questions. And uh, the only way you can find the right answers is if you ask yourself the right question. So I think the reason I think questions are important is they're fun, they add depth to your life, they're interesting. I think, you know, if you spend time with someone who during conversation, they ask you questions. I think that's a good trait for someone to have, is to be inquisitive and to ask questions. Um, and more importantly, it allows you to find answers tailored specific to your life.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>So what are some of your favorite questions?

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> Robert Maiolo>Um, there's a few. So I like the one. Uh, what does success mean to you?

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> Robert Maiolo>Because I think some people, they just take what other people's definitions of success are. Big house, big car, uh, three vacations a year, stuff like that.

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> Robert Maiolo>Um, when you ask yourself the question, or when you're asked, what does success mean to you? Or if you ask yourself, what does success mean to me, then you can start to think, well, what does being successful actually mean to me? So if you're the kind of person you don't care about a big house, then that's not successful to you. So then, okay, what does success mean to you? Does it mean having a great family? Does it mean being a great parent? Ah, does it mean being a great son or daughter?

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> Robert Maiolo>Um, does maybe having a lot of free time with your friends and family being successful to you, like, it allows you to find your own path. It allows you to find your own definition of success. Because if you don't know what success is, then you're never going to be able to find it, because you can't chase something if you don't know what it is. But if you can kind of define what success means to you, then allows you to think of the little steps you can take and think about the actions you can take to find that success that you want, not what someone else told you you should have. Not a nice car because someone else said you should have a nice car. What does success actually mean to you? And what does, um, what do those things look like? I really like that one. I don't think a lot of people think about what does success mean to them. They just think of success as this broad generic term.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>So a two part question, why do you feel like people should come to you for advice or why should they listen to you? And how did you come up on this way of thinking, the way that you do?

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> Robert Maiolo>Yeah, so I don't think anyone should listen to me. The premise of a book is listen to yourself.

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> Robert Maiolo>Um, I just kind of. I think I put together a half decent book that allows you to do it in a organized format. Ah, rather than, you know, it's nice to just sit around and think all day, but it is also nice to have a targeted, organized approach to your self discovery. Some people like to have that kind of structure. Um, so I think, you know, I'm telling you to listen to yourself, but also, if you were looking for a book that will help you do that, then you should listen to me and buy the book. Um, but even if you don't, I mean, there's a lot of great questions, um, that you can ask yourself, even in an unstructured format. Um, but, yeah, the crux of my message and the point of the book is, um, stop listening to other people and start listening to yourself. And the best way to listen to yourself is to ask yourself questions and find your own answers in life and stuff like that. The way I kind of came about it, or came about the premise is, you know, going through, um, those talks I used to do at work, um, and realizing that it's really helped other people discover their own self and their own path and their own meaning. Um, and I realized that, um, that people didn't really ask themselves any questions at night. They kind of just stumbled around and did whatever it is they needed to do, um, and that was it. They didn't they. No one ever. I thought what I was doing, everyone was doing, but it turns out that it wasn't very common and that a lot of people don't ask themselves questions. Um, so when I kind of went through these talks at work and saw how it was working for other people, that kind of motivated me to try and formalize it and create an organized structure for this, which is kind of how the book and the idea came about.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Well, tell us about any upcoming projects that you're working on that people need to be aware of.

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> Robert Maiolo>I'm trying to spread my word as best I can. I think the best way to do that is through podcasts like this, which is why I'm super thrilled and gracious that you had me on, um, and trying to get on stage as much as I can. So I do some public speaking athlete, some conferences, or sometimes companies will have me by and, uh, to do some speeches as well. Um, and I'm just trying to get that word out, uh, as best I can. So, um, I'm on a bit of a mini podcast tour right now and trying to get on as. On as many stages as I possibly can to spread the message.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>All right, so people can keep up with your message and everything that you're up to. Throw out your contact info.

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> Robert Maiolo>Yep, yep. And, uh, if anyone wants to reach out to me, they can, uh, uh, find me on Instagram obiaxelrod. Um, and then you can also email, uh, me as well. Rob myolo. R o b m a I o l o.

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> Robert Maiolo>Um, and if you want to check out the book and have a little fun with self discovery, uh, it's on Amazon. Uh, the book with no answers.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Perfect. Close us out with some final thoughts. Maybe if there was something I forgot to touch on or any final thoughts you have for the listeners, you know, you could do something like, hey, if you feel stuck in life, you know, something like that.

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> Robert Maiolo>Yeah, if you. So here's the message I would have for everyone listening.

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> Robert Maiolo>If you're listening to this, you probably have problems in life. Good. So does everyone else. I would challenge you to find answers within rather than looking outward for answers. I would challenge you to find a way to find some answers internally to your own problems in life. And I would bet you probably have more answers to the problems and questions in your life than you give yourself credit for. And I think the best way to go about that is to ask yourself some questions. Questions like, who am I? Who do I want to be? How am I going to get there? How? Huh? Am I going to stay on track? Those types of roadmap and life journey type questions. And I would also encourage you to start small. If you ask yourself, who am I? You might get stuck. But again, you can ask yourself questions like, what do I care about?

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> Robert Maiolo>What do I offer to the world? What have I been through that not a lot of other people have been through that can help you with the who am I? Question. And if you're struggling with the who do I want to be question, again, I would encourage you to ask smaller, more digestible questions, such as, what does success mean to you? What do you want your legacy to be? What do you want your life to look like ten years from now? What's something that you went through that you don't want other people to go? These are smaller, easier to answer, questions that will work up to help answer the larger who do I want to be question.

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> Robert Maiolo>So, to the people listening, if you're stuck.

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> Robert Maiolo>I can I challenge you to stop looking outwards, start looking inwards for some answers and guidance in life. And I would highly recommend using questions as a vessel to make that happen. And again, if you're looking for a structured way to do that, I wrote a book, but you don't have to read the book to do it. You can just sit around and and ask yourself some deep, meaningful questions that I'm sure you've always wondered about and start work through what those answers will be.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Hey, ladies and gentlemen, there it is. Robert Maiolo. Please be sure to follow rate review share this episode to as many people as possible. Check out everything that he's up to. Pick up the book, share it around, jump on your favorite podcast app, leave us a review, check out the show, share it with people. If you have any guests or suggestion topics, Curtis Jackson 1978. Net is the place to send them. Thank you for listening and supporting the show. And Robert, thank you for all that you do, and thank you for joining us.

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> Robert Maiolo>Thank you, Curtis. Appreciate you having me on.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>For more information on, um, the living the Dream podcast, visit www.djcurvefball.com.

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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>until next time, stay focused on living the dream.

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> Robert Maiolo>Dream.