Dec. 21, 2023

Living the dream with self-published author Alice Readman

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Dive into the poignant journey of Alice Readman as she navigates the tumultuous waters of a sudden life change, the loss of adopting children, and the subsequent healing process. 'I am Alice: Break up, break down, and break through' is not just a memoir; it's a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the power of self-reflection through journaling. Join us as Alice shares her story, the tools that helped her rise from the ashes, and the unexpected gifts of a spiritual awakening.

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> Speaker A>Welcome, um, to the living the dream podcast with curveball. Um, if you believe you can achieve, cheat, cheat.

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> Speaker A>Welcome to the living the dream with curveball podcast, a show where I interview guests that teach, motivate, and inspire. Today I am joined by author Alex Reedman. She is the author of the book I am Alice. Break up, break down, and break through. It is a memoir about her life, so we're going to be talking to her about that and anything else that she's up to. So, Alice, thank you so much for joining me today.

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> Speaker B>Thank ah, you so much, Curtis, for inviting me. It's lovely to chat to you.

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> Speaker A>Why don't you start off by telling everybody a little bit about yourself?

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> Speaker B>Right. Well, okay. So my name is Alice.

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> Speaker B>Uh, I put out my book this year, which is a memoir about a, uh, very life changing experience.

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> Speaker B>Um, yeah, it was a very sudden experience when I was about to adopt a couple of children with my husband, and basically he woke me up and told me he didn't want them the day before. So my life changed very rapidly. Um, and, um, yeah, I had to create a whole new life from that. So that's what the book's about and how I managed to do that and all the tools that I used and already had. I always feel that we're prepared for what's happening in our lives. Even at the time we might not feel like it, but, um, all the things that had happened to me previous in my life came into play and supported me through this really difficult time. I mean, I'm not saying it was easy, um, but I did have some tools which we can talk about and what really helped me get through the experience.

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> Speaker B>And, um, yeah, to really be hopeful, um, and to really trust, um, that my life would be okay and I would come through this, and I was determined that I would live, actually, a better life than the one I was previously destined for.

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> Speaker A>Okay, well, before we get into those tools, kind of tell the listeners, uh, what got you into writing?

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> Speaker B>Yeah, writing. Well, I never had any idea about writing a book in my life, but after what happened to me, um, I had to write for myself. I was already journaling.

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> Speaker B>Journaling, um, is a fantastic tool to offload the brain and support, well, support me through this very isolating experience. So I just journaled and journaled. Um, and it was through that journaling that gave me so much strength and power and insight, uh, that I felt like I really had to share my story. Um, obviously, it's taken me a long time to actually get round here, but I wrote the first draft of the book, about nine months after my experience, um, because I couldn't actually believe that at all happened to me. So I was writing it because, like, yes, that did happen. And if I don't write it down, I won't believe myself in a year's time. So I did it as a sort of therapy. Uh, but I also wrote it in chapters, sequentially. Um, and I knew at some point when I was strong enough, um, and the right time, that I would probably put it out of the book. Yeah.

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> Speaker B>Which I did this year.

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> Speaker A>Okay, well, tell us about some of the tools that you use to help get through that tough situation.

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> Speaker B>Right. Well, obviously, journaling, I was doing that every day, um, because, uh, in my story, um, after losing the children, I had a sort of spiritual opening.

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> Speaker B>And, um, I felt very connected to a higher consciousness. And, um, so I wrote about that. And also, um, I ended up. A couple of weeks after the incident, I ended up getting sectioned in a psychiatric ward, uh, because obviously I was suffering from this grief. And they just decided they would put me into this place, um, and drug me. And basically I really had to write my way through that experience because I was in another state of shock. Having my freedom taken away from me, being drugged, going through this grief. Um, so writing really kept me in my body and it really saved me, I could say. I, uh, think journaling is such a powerful tool because you can express yourself, whether you're drawing, whether you're writing about what's happening to you, whether you're writing about what you wish for in the future, to have hope. Words are very important.

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> Speaker B>Uh, another about writing is that, ah, some friends of mine, some family friends that basically took me in for a week during that difficult period before I got, um, sectioned in the hospital.

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> Speaker B>Um, he and his wife wrote me this beautiful letter, um, basically saying that I would get through this. And it was an extreme set of unusual circumstances. But, um, they said these really lovely things to me. And that letter I carried with me, and I would read it, um, to support me, because sometimes I felt like I was never going to get out of the place. Um, writing to people and writing a letter to yourself, or when other people write you a beautiful letter like that, you can really hold those words and really allow them to resonate in your body to. Yes, it is true. Yes, I have the power. Yes, I can do it. It's just, I've just got to get through each moment, each day, each hour, depending how desperate the situation is. Um, another tool is singing or sounding or humming.

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> Speaker B>Um, the voice is a very powerful tool.

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> Speaker B>And, um, I've learned a lot about sound healing since I've been living in Bali this last six years. And, um, the power of sound, not, um, just on the mind, but also on the body and in calming yourself emotionally, but also on every single cell in the body.

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> Speaker B>Sound vibrates through the body. We are, I don't know, 70% or more, um, water. So when we have these healing sounds, or the sound of our voice, which I feel is the most healing sound, then it vibrates in the body and harmonizes the body, mind and soul. Yeah.

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> Speaker B>Um, another tool. Um, I think maybe it's not so much a tool, but it's a way of finding what brings you joy in a creative, that's usually in a creative manner. And obviously, for me, singing, I've learned instruments since then. I've done a lot of sound healing.

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> Speaker B>So I feel sound in some way would be wonderful to get in touch with to then reconnect yourself to yourself. And in reconnecting yourself to yourself, if you know what I mean, it then allows you to connect to others, but we really need to feel connected to ourselves. Going through difficult times.

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> Speaker A>Where you also talk about there are some gifts in having a spiritual or mental experience.

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> Speaker A>So tell us about some of those gifts.

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> Speaker B>Yeah, I mean, I was told that basically, ah, from source or a higher power, I was told that I would get through this experience early on. I was told, it's okay, you're going to get through this, and there's a gift in your experience. So I really held onto that and I really trusted that because I was going through a huge opening of my heart, um, and connected to higher realms, that when that came through, I was very grateful and I really held onto that. I thought, yes, I'm going to make it. So, um, I've been told that there's a gift in this and yes, I'm going to find that gift.

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> Speaker B>I don't know what it is. I've got no idea. I thought I was having this life with my husband, my children, and working as a graphic designer. Um, and that's what I thought my life would be. So, um, yeah, I really held out for this gift and I had really no idea what it was going to be. Um, and now I see my gift is to support others through difficult times. And in doing that, that's why I'm sharing my book and sharing the tools that have supported me, because chances are they might be able to help other people. And from people reading my book, already they've said that they've, uh, felt inspired. And, um, it's really, um, supported them because they have also gone through difficult times, whether it's divorce or connection to children, whether they've, um, lost a child or like me, the adopted children, um, or had a miscarriage, or this whole thing about children and loss, um, and the importance of connection. So, for me, I had the connection of this spiritual experience which supported me, um, and then finding connection with right people that can support you through your difficult times. And then ongoing from that, finding a wider.

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> Speaker B>Even if it's just a small group of people that you can connect with on a deeper level, like minded people that you can all support each other because they see you for who you really are and not the surface, not what kind of car you have or what kind of position you have as a job. They see your true self, or as much as one can, other people can see your true self. But, yeah, finding those like minded people that, um, you can really be yourself, your authentic self. You don't have to pretend that everything's okay when it's not. You can ask for support. And for me, and maybe I think a lot of people asking for support is very difficult because we all want to seem like we're all managing everything. And, um, asking for support can be quite challenging.

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> Speaker A>Well, who are some of your favorite authors or books? Who do you use, uh, to get inspired to do your writing?

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> Speaker B>Well, I must say, uh, I haven't really read.

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> Speaker B>Mean, I have read books, but I mean, I haven't read any to be inspired for my book, because I think I just wrote the story how it was.

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> Speaker B>But, uh, I tell you who I do, I am inspired by, actually, is people like Paulo Coello and all those books that he wrote, the alchemist. Uh, um, or he's written many books, and they're always, like, going through these adventures. And that's how I see my story as an adventure story. Um, well, it is a memoir as well, but it's more of an adventure, how I came through losing, uh, everything, to being locked up, to getting out.

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> Speaker B>At times, it's like I was in two realities. So I can see that with maybe Paulo Coelho's books, the spiritual side of it. Um, and the other book, hundred years of solitude, by, um. I, um, can't remember.

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> Speaker B>Ah, Gasia Marquez.

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> Speaker B>Gabrielle Gassia Marquez. I think that's. Yes, 100 years of solitude. Yeah. Um, other books, gosh, I can't actually think of anything at the moment. But, um, yeah, I mean, I read a lot of sort, uh, of self help books and things like that.

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> Speaker B>Uh, but those two books, definitely those two authors, um, have inspired me. Yeah, for sure.

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> Speaker A>Well, tell us about any current or upcoming projects that you're working on that people need to know about.

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> Speaker B>Yeah, my upcoming projects. Um, well, obviously I've started a podcast now myself, which I'm really enjoying. Um, I'm talking to people about creativity, connection, and how they find clarity in this ever changing world that we live in. I think we all realize that change is actually all we have. Nothing stays the same, every day is different and our lives change and it's always changing. So I love to talk to people about their transformation and, uh, what changed their lives and how they came into other gifts in their lives. Um, so I started that, um, I'm working on a journal that's going to accompany my book, uh, to, um, talk about all the tools that I feel help me, like finding creativity. Um, and I feel we're all here to be creative beings, so it's about finding that. And, um, I've done lots of creative things, but I never really thought I was that good at being creative. But since I've been living here, I've been really inspired to be more creative. And it's just happened very naturally because I'm in a beautiful country, a beautiful island of Bali, and it's so inspiring, the nature, uh, the spirituality, the beauty of this place. And, um, so I developed a small range of jewelry, which has been inspired by my book, m. So, yeah, just a little silver talismans and some marlas that I've just done because it's really connected to me and it makes me feel good and I, uh, do like, beautiful things. Um, I'm now selling those. And, um, very recently, well, I guess the last couple of years, I started playing harmonium. And like I said to you about how it's really important to use our voice and to express ourselves, because I'm sure, like many people, sometimes it's very difficult to really express how we feel.

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> Speaker B>I know I have done, especially in the past, and maybe still it's like I don't fully say how I'm feeling, I don't fully express myself, but through singing and playing music, um, it sort of liberates you and gives you this freedom of expression and, uh, whether it's improvised, um, or you're singing. Mantra. Um, yes, I forgot to say, actually, during my, uh, difficult times, a mantra was something that was very powerful for me. And, um, I'd been singing a mantra for my children. For two years. And uh, so when I lost them, suddenly I sang that mantra to support me. So I would sing it during the, uh, first week. I would sing it all night long to keep me in my body because I really thought that I was going to die, um, and so I really wanted to stay and so I used this mantra to support me through those difficult times. And, uh, yes, and consequently from that, living in Bali, I go to a lot of kirtan and I've learned to play the harmonium, which, I mean, I never thought that I would, but I did and I love it and it came very easily to me. And recently I've started playing guitar. I mean, I used to play bass guitar, um, in an indie band in the UK back in the 90s.

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> Speaker B>Um, but I'd sort of put that all behind me and I didn't have any intention of playing bass again, but I felt really inspired to, um, get this little guitar. Uh, and recently, um, after going to this beautiful place, beautiful temple by a beautiful river and swimming in this river, uh, with my friends and, um, experienced this beautiful energy of Bali, I started writing songs and a whole song came through after visiting that place and I, um, decided I needed to learn guitar to play it. So, um, I've just taken up guitar. So, I mean, it's amazing how when you open the gates of creativity, so much more keeps on coming through to enjoy and, um, yes, I'm hoping to record that and to start doing, um, some more sort of meditation music and that kind of thing. I've done a little bit, but I really haven't had time because I've had such a busy year, such a busy year putting out my book. It was such a, such a, um, yeah, it's such a transformational time to finally, after nearly sort of eight years, to actually put out my book. I was still sort of hesitating, should I really reveal myself? Because it's very honest, my book, um, and I'm such a private person, I was thinking, what am I doing doing this? People are going to read it.

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> Speaker B>Uh, um, it's been a busy year, uh, doing lots of creative things.

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> Speaker A>Well, I know that you are a private person, so why did you feel like it was so important to share your story?

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> Speaker B>Yeah, well, I mean, along the way in living in Bali, I'd met quite a few people that had also been sectioned in a psychiatric, uh, ward and uh, had gone through some experiences with them and supporting them. And I, uh, wanted to, by writing my story, I wanted to normalize the experience. I mean, when we go through very isolating times and suffering from grief and loss, uh, and other events in our lives, it takes us to a place that we've never been before.

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> Speaker B>And we don't know how to deal with it.

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> Speaker B>Um, and we just deal with it best we can.

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> Speaker B>But the people around us often feel, well, you're not acting normal.

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> Speaker B>So, uh, I don't know what to do with you.

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> Speaker B>Uh, let's put you in this place where you're going to be safe. But what they don't probably realize is in that so called safe place, to me, it didn't feel very safe at all, actually. Um, uh, and then to be drugged to sedate whatever is going on and then come out the other side. So I just felt I really needed to share my story honestly, to support other people that have been in the same situation, or maybe people that haven't been in that situation that might end up being in a similar situation. And so what happened to me might actually help them making, um, different choices and also maybe reaching out to the right people for help at the right time.

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> Speaker B>Um, my situation was very unusual.

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> Speaker B>Um. Uh, but I think by sharing it, because I know quite a few people really have also been in psychiatric wards. And they would never share their story because they don't want people to know, especially on a sort of.

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> Speaker B>Anyone could read the book, um, they don't want to share that because for whatever reason, I mean, there's a lot of shame and, um, embarrassment and, uh, lack of control around your life to share that.

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> Speaker B>I felt very judged by having been through that experience. But really what I actually learned through putting out my book and by sharing my story is that really the judgment was all on me. I was judging myself and therefore judging others that they would judge me.

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> Speaker B>Because really, if people want to judge me, well, that's about them, it's not about me. And that's a quite a difficult one to learn.

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> Speaker B>But I really learned that. I mean, people read my story and they say, oh, God, that really helped me. I particularly like this bit. And that inspired me. Whatever. And other people might not like it at all, but that's okay. And it really has nothing to do with me. Because when you read a book, you go through that experience with the book, through what you're reading, and it's not about the person that wrote it necessarily. It's about your relationship to that experience.

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> Speaker B>Um, I've learned a lot by putting it out, actually. I mean, it's been wonderful having feedback from people because that, uh, really made me realize that, yes, it was the right decision to do that.

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> Speaker B>Um, uh, and if people don't like it, that's okay, too. Um, I won't take it personally. Um, I think that's a really big learning.

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> Speaker B>We're all different.

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> Speaker A>Well, throw out your contact information so people can keep up with everything that you're up to.

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> Speaker B>Yeah, I have a website, and it's called travelwithalice.com. And I also have Instagram, which is travelwithalice. And, yeah, you can reach me there and see, uh, what I'm doing and living my life in Bali. Lots, uh, of pictures about my cat and things like. But, yeah, you can keep in contact there.

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> Speaker A>We'll close us out with some final thoughts. Maybe if that was something I forgot to talk about, that you would like to touch on it.

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> Speaker A>Just any final thoughts you have for the listeners?

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> Speaker B>Um, well, what I would say to the listeners is that really go for it in life, really dream your life about what you really want to do. I know it's sometimes they think, oh, writing a book and selling your book, and it seems like a whole other world for me.

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> Speaker B>I would never have thought of doing that. Um, but it's like, really dream up what you really want to do and how you really want to help others, because you'll be surprised how the universe can fall into place for you. I mean, I can't believe if I look at my life thinking, oh, wow, I've created my book, and now I did the jewelry, and now I'm doing a podcast, and now I'm playing music, and I've got so many creative ideas that I want to do. I mean, it's just like, it really is infinite. So go for your highest choice and just write about it. Imagine it, visualize it. Really. Why not daydream it? You've got nothing to lose. And maybe you might find a whole new world is out there for you.

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> Speaker A>Absolutely. Ladies and gentlemen, travelwithalice.com. Please be sure to check her out. Check out everything that she's up to.

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> Speaker A>Pick up her book. Follow rate review share this episode to as many people as possible. If you have any guests or suggestion topics, cjackson 102 ah@cox.net is the place to send them. As always, thank you for listening. And Alice, thank you for being courageous. Thank you for joining us and sharing your story.

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> Speaker B>Thank you so much, Curtis. I've really enjoyed it. Thank you.

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> Speaker B>Nice to meet you.

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> Speaker A>For more information m on the living the Dream podcast, visit www.djcurveball.com until next time, stay focused on, uh, live. Been the drain. Drain.