Feb. 15, 2024

Living the dream with self improvement and business expert Alan Lazaros

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In this heart-stirring episode of 'Living the Dream with Curveball,' join self-improvement guru Alan Lazaros as he shares his transformative journey from personal tragedy to triumph. Discover how this expert turned his adversities into a springboard for growth and now empowers others to reach their zenith. With a no-nonsense approach and a story that will leave you inspired, Alan reveals the secrets to transcending your limits and truly living the dream.

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> Speaker A>Welcome, um, to the living the dream podcast with curveball M. If you believe you can achieve, cheat, cheat.

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> Speaker A>Welcome to the living the dream with curveball podcast, a show where I interview guests that teach, motivate, and inspire. Today we're going to be talking about self improvement and how you can get the help that you need to get to the next level, as I am joined by self improvement expert Alan Lazarus. Alan has went through a lot of tragedies in his life, but instead of thinking negative about it, he's using it for positive to help others. He has a no bs approach to help you get to that next level. So we're going to be talking to him about what that approach is and everything that he's up to. So, Alan, thank you so much for joining me today.

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> Speaker B>Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. Uh, like we talked about on the preamble, I, uh, appreciate your consistency. It's awesome to see. I think you're at 570 episodes or something like that. So, um, it's an honor. I appreciate it. Thank you for having me.

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> Speaker A>Oh, yeah. And we appreciate your consistency and strong work and helping people get to that next level.

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> Speaker A>So let's kick it off by you telling the listeners a little bit about yourself.

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> Speaker B>Okay? So I love the question because I think I've spent a lot of my life trying to look up to and learn from a lot of people.

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> Speaker B>And it's not just the message, it's the messenger. And I think it's very important to, uh, before you're going to learn from someone, I think it's important to know who they are and a little bit about where they came from. So, for me, my story I'll try to give you. I have a short version, a long version and a mid range version. I'll try to give the mid range version. Uh, I came into this life in adversity for sure. And, uh, so when I was two years old, my father passed away in a car accident when he was 28 years old.

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> Speaker B>And so as a young boy, I was no stranger to the preciousness of life and adversity. I had a stepfather from age three to 14. As a matter of fact, you asked how to pronounce my last name, and that actually is my stepfather's last name. My real last name, my birth last name is actually McCorkle. I'm irish and German. And, uh, a lot of people that are greek and have a greek last name will often say, I don't, uh, understand.

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> Speaker B>You're the only non greek lazarus I've ever met.

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> Speaker B>But anyways, so my stepfather was greek. I was given the choice to take his last name when I was seven. And so I did. And we were trying to be sort of a little family there.

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> Speaker B>At age 14, my stepfather left my family and this is back in the early two thousand s. And at this point I have, uh, a mother and an older sister. And my sister had moved out. She lived with her boyfriend at the time because she was three years older than me. So I'm 14, she's 17, she's moved out. Understandable. And, uh, my mom and stepdad didn't really get along well. So it was definitely tough times.

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> Speaker B>But financially we did really well. And by we, I mean my stepdad. So he got the yacht and the apartment building, we got the house and the dog. And it was kind of me, 14 years old, sort of man of the house type of thing. And I went from Xbox, dreamcast, getting all the ski trips and yacht, all that kind of stuff, to basically I get free lunch at school now because our income is so low and I don't know how I'm going to go to college. And so that was a big wake up call for me.

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> Speaker B>So I bootstrapped my way through high school. I got straight a's, I got one b in honors English and got the president's award, which is, uh, an award for academic excellence. And got as many scholarships and financial aid as I possibly could because fortunately, I live in a country that had equal opportunity and, uh, I just wouldn't have been able to go to college otherwise.

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> Speaker B>So my mom pitched in for college. I got tons of scholarships, tons of financial aid, and then I also took out student loans and I got to go to my dream school, Worcester Polytechnic institute. It's kind of like a mini mit.

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> Speaker B>So I go there and I study computer engineering for four years, which is nothing short of absolutely brutal. And then, uh, I stayed for my master's in business and I got my MBA and I did some soul searching, job hopping. I had a few internships by that point, but at this point I'm very into tech, very nerdy, very math and science.

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> Speaker B>I actually call it stem bif science, technology, engineering, mathematics, business and finance. And again, I'm 35 now. So most of this is clear to me looking back, even though back then it was not obvious.

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> Speaker B>So I went to LA for a time. I worked at a company called Tyco Safety Products. I worked at iRobot, I worked at, uh, Simplex Grinell. I worked at a company called Sensata Technologies, used to be Texas Instruments. And I did a lot of job hopping, a lot of soul searching. Worked for a company called Oz Development, product engineer, global product manager, all these different roles. And I eventually ended up at a company called Cognex. Cognex. I started an inside sales engineering team. They sold industrial automation equipment into manufacturing facilities all across the world.

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> Speaker B>It's, uh, called machine vision equipment. It's kind of like the eyes of a robot, so to speak. And then eventually I got promoted to outside sales engineer. So at this point, I went from broke in college, broke before college, to getting out of college and going from sixty five k a year to 85k, from 85 to 105, uh, from 105 to 125, and then almost peaked at about 200, a little under 200, actually. I paid off all my school debt in a single year, $84,000 worth of debt in a single year. Back in 2014, I had no family, uh, no bills, and I put all my money in an investment account, very large investment account. Tech companies, that kind of thing, stocks. And at this point, I'm 26 years old, I've got a beautiful girlfriend. I am a, ah, 1% earner globally. I say earner, not net worth earner globally.

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> Speaker B>And not, uh, a 1% earner in the US because 1% earn in the US is higher than that. But globally, I was, and I had everything I thought that I wanted. I had achieved pretty much everything that I had ever had ever wanted, other than become a Fortune 50 CEO of a tech company. Like my hero at the time, Steve Jobs. So at this point, I'm 26 years old, and I had what I refer to now as my quarter life crisis. I'm up in New Hampshire with my little cousin, and we weren't doing anything crazy, we weren't partying, nothing like that. We were playing Call of Duty and we were going to, uh, it's a video game and we were going to TGI Fridays.

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> Speaker B>And no drinking, nothing like crazy. And I look down at the gps, I look up and I am on the wrong side of the road. It was, uh, back in 2015 or 2016, I think it was 2016. And the snowbanks were covering the yield sign.

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> Speaker B>It was a really bad winter where the snowbanks were covering the signs.

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> Speaker B>And I end up on the wrong side of the road.

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> Speaker B>And in front of me, when I look up, I see what I thought was a Mac truck. Biggest, brightest lights I'd ever seen right in front of me. And at this point, I thought for certain, this is it. Uh, I didn't think there was any possibility that we survived that, and it was definitely a visceral moment for sure. So, fortunately, I'm driving a 2004 Volkswagen passat. At the time, I used to call this car the tank and german, uh, engineered steel trap of a car. I'm convinced this car saved my life. Both airbags did deploy.

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> Speaker B>He hurt his knee on the airbag. I hurt my face on the airbag. So, physically, we were okay. But mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I was really rocked by this, because, if you recall, my father was 28 when he died in a car accident.

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> Speaker B>And I'm 26 at the time. And I almost just had that happen to me. Same thing. Um, I've seen pictures of my father's car. I saw pictures of my car, and it just wigged me out.

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> Speaker B>It messed me up for sure. But we talk a lot about PTSD, and, uh, I was claustrophobic, and double, uh, yellow line scared me, so I kept getting pulled over because I was on the wrong side of the road, like, hugging my side of the road too much.

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> Speaker B>Luckily, the police were very kind, and they understood because I had just gotten in a bad car accident recently.

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> Speaker B>But what we don't talk about enough is post traumatic growth. And post traumatic growth for me was I was exposed to, essentially, a world that I had never really understood before or seen before. So now I live by this quote. I wear this true north necklace around my neck, uh, at all times. It's this north star. It's a silver necklace.

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> Speaker B>And I now live by this simple quote that I created back then, which is, you can't see the stars during the day. They're always there. But sometimes it takes the darkness to see clearly that which you simply could not within the light.

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> Speaker B>And so, for me, I was deep in the dark, mental, emotional, spiritual pain, regret.

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> Speaker B>Questioning who I am, questioning who I was, questioning my choices, questioning what it was all for, questioning if that was it, what would that mean, really? Existential crisis, meaning of life type of stuff.

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> Speaker B>And I saw two stars I'd never seen before. One of them is a book by a woman named Bronnie Ware called the top five regrets of the dying.

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> Speaker B>She is a woman from Australia who I've actually interviewed since, which is really cool, but, uh, she wrote a book called the top five regrets of the dying. And it's built on this concept of. She worked in hospice with the terminally ill for eight years, and she noticed these same patterns of regret in everybody. I wish, I wish, I wish. And to this day, I actually have these flashcards that I've been carrying around. It's actually all tattered and, uh, it's actually ripped in half. But essentially, the top five regrets of the dying I still have on a flashcard from all the way back then. And I actually got to interview Bronnie about these. But the number one regret of the dying is I wish I had lived a life true to myself and not what others expected of me. And I didn't understand any of this back in my childhood. But I definitely was seeking approval. I definitely was seeking significance. I definitely was trying to get my stepdad's approval or my mom's approval. There's the whole adage of doctor, lawyer, engineer failure.

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> Speaker B>Uh, and if you're not one of those three things, you're a failure type of thing from the parental side.

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> Speaker B>And I now realize that the reason I wasn't really proud of who I was as a man is because I wasn't really carving my own path. And so, prior to that car accident, I was focused on achievement from the outside in, but not fulfillment from the, uh, inside out. And after that. And the second star that I saw was, uh, Ted talk by Tony Robbins. It's still my favorite TeD talk to this day. Regardless of what you think of Tony, I respect him and his work deeply. But the TED talk is the best TeD talk in the entire world, in my opinion. And the TED talk is about why we do what we do, what motivates you, what is your motive for action? And it's magnificent. And it changed the way I think forever. And it really exposed me more than anything into this idea of personal growth, self improvement, self help, self empowerment, self trust, self belief, self worth. This idea that you can get better every day.

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> Speaker B>And if you do, your life will get better as well. And so, rather than being successful from the outside in, I am entirely focused on being successful from the inside out. And so instead of achieving at the expense of my fulfillment, what I focus on is personal growth, contribution, and fulfillment. And then success can be a byproduct of that. And so now, that was when I was 26. I'm now 35.

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> Speaker B>Uh, and now, nine years later, I kind of understand. I keep rewatching the movie of my own life over and over and over again. It's kind of like when you see finding Nemo as an adult versus as a kid, and you realize there's a whole bunch in there that you didn't gather before. And I'm doing that every year with my life. And when you reread a book or rewatch your life or rewatch a movie from a higher awareness, you take more away from it. And for me, I keep doing that year after year with my own life, and I keep understanding this stuff more and more, and I encourage everyone to do the same. So now my focal point is helping people get to the next level of their life, whatever that means. No matter how hard your past has been, you do have a spotless future, and you can start making new choices today. And honestly, the more you learn, the more you grow, the more you have a responsibility to make positive choices. And so I used to be someone who was emotionally mature, didn't make good choices, had tons of regrets. And now I try to learn from my regrets. Uh, I think regret and fulfillment are the best teachers. And so that's kind of my life now, is how do I help empower other people to live lives true themselves and design a life and a business that they love? And, uh, even though it's really challenging, it can be deeply meaningful. And I think that's what I'll end the story with, which is my life has been tons of adversity. I mean, a lot, a lot, a lot of adversity. Not just my father's death, but my mom and stepdad didn't get along. And it's just been a ton of adversity. Despite all the adversity, um, it's been extremely meaningful, and I've fortunately found a way to come out smarter and stronger on the other end, and I think that's all we can do. Um, at least that's my belief.

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> Speaker A>Well, explain what peak performance is and how listeners can practice peak performance and use it in their lives.

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> Speaker B>So, peak performance comes from this idea that, uh. So I want to make sure everyone's aware of this before I go down this. I'm a computer engineer, so forgive me for my mathematical scientific thinking. I think there's four modalities of thinking, and mine is numbers and, uh, graphs. So I picture a graph with an x and y axis, and I picture an upside down horseshoe, which is known as a hyperbole. And, uh, a parabola, rather, parabola.

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> Speaker B>And at the top of it is a peak, a max. A maximum point. And all of us, if we remember math class, we remember there's a max point. So peak performance is this idea of what's called an optimal stopping problem. And an optimal stopping problem. The coolest way I know how to explain it is if you put the nachos in for three minutes, they burn. If you put them in for 1 minute, the cheese isn't melted. So the optimal point is two minutes. So everything in life, what is a good decision? Right?

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> Speaker B>How do you even know if you make a good decision?

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> Speaker B>Uh, that philosophical question of, well, murder is bad, but if someone's attacking your kid, then murder is suddenly. So the point that I'm making is people say, do the right thing, but who can do the right thing at the right time, in the right amount for the right reason, toward the right know, in the right way, with the right approach?

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> Speaker B>And Aristotle contemplates that. And essentially, that's what an optimal stopping problem is. What is the optimal amount to put the nachos in? What is the optimal point to park when you're headed to a concert where you get as close to the venue as possible, but there's still an open spot? And so everything is this goldilocks, too much, too little dance. Are you too confident? Are you not confident enough? Right. If you're too confident, you're arrogant. If you're not confident enough, you're docile and timid. So everything, when it comes to peak performance, everything comes to that same idea of an optimal pulse stopping problem. Peak performance is sort of a micro and macro understanding of how do I find that max point in all the decisions that I make in my life, knowing that I never actually find that max point. And if you think about any debate anyone's ever had about anything, you got Republican and Democrat, and you've got all these different debates.

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> Speaker B>What we're really supposed to be trying to do, I think, is finding the happy medium optimal point that is best for everyone.

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> Speaker B>Um, and it's this weird duality where you can only optimize for one thing at a time, but yet you have to take into consideration everyone.

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> Speaker B>Peak performance, in my opinion, to break it down, in a nutshell, is how do you make the best decisions you can toward the biggest, best, and brightest future you can conceptualize and believe in, that not only is good for you, but good for the world. And the more I've gone down this sort of rabbit hole, it sounds really complex. But at the end of the day, it comes down to, are you making positive choices toward positive means and getting better and smarter along the way?

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> Speaker A>So you've done trainings all over the place. You've led a global team, you've done things all over the world, working with people, with, uh, the things that you do. So kind of let, uh, the listeners know and let them know who all you've worked with and what you've done with them.

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> Speaker A>So they know that you're definitely certified to be speaking on this topic, I appreciate it.

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> Speaker B>Yeah, I think that's the other thing, too, that I want to make as clear as possible is on the Internet nowadays, there are a lot of people, and I understand why that are, uh, speaking about things that they aren't necessarily practicing. And for me, there's nothing that bothers me more than people who don't lead by example.

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> Speaker B>So I want to make it clear that I am leading by example. So, I'm big on data, I'm big on math. So I just surpassed my 5000th one on one coaching session with individuals all over the world. I've got clients from age 18 to 63. Right now, I've got, uh, all different countries. Some in New Zealand, some in Spain, some in the Philippines, some in, uh, one in Italy. In the past, tons, uh, in Canada, a bunch in the US.

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> Speaker B>But the point is that my research lab, so to speak, is one on one calls helping real people in the real world. And we also have a 21 person team, also global.

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> Speaker B>And nine years ago, when I first got in that car accident, I quit corporate and I started a company called Alan Lazarus LLC. And my tagline was, what you'll never learn in school, but desperately, uh, need to know. Because in my head, when I found personal growth and personal development, I didn't understand. Why didn't we learn any of this in school?

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> Speaker B>Why wasn't there a communication class? Why wasn't there a class on how to succeed in an intimate relationship? Why wasn't there a class on humility, courage, and vulnerability? Why wasn't there a class on emotional intelligence?

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> Speaker B>Why wasn't there an oratory class or a speaking class or effective communication course?

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> Speaker B>I'm all for math and science. I'm all for reading, writing, and arithmetic. But there's so many gaps, uh, in terms of the education system, that it's really alarming. Why didn't we learn more about fitness? Why didn't we learn more about nutrition? Why didn't we learn more about this stuff? And obviously, we're trying to fill those gaps with podcasts like this, but at the end of the day, I was just so upset that I never learned any of this stuff, uh, as a kid. And so what did I do? I started a company called Alan Lazarus LLC, what you'll never learn in school, but desperately need to know. And here I am nine years later. And at one point, it was a podcast called conversations Change lives, and then it was the hyperconscious podcast, and then it eventually evolved into what's now next level university, and so it's evolved and adapted a lot. But next level university, we've got a 21 person team, global, fully virtual, all over the world. None, uh, of us go to a specific building. We do live events every year, so we do get to see each other every year, which is cool. But how do you lead an empowered, amazing, heart driven, but no bs team toward their own bigger, better, brighter future, but also the bigger, better, brighter future of the organization and for a purpose and a mission that's beyond ourselves. And that's really a leadership question ultimately. But, uh, what I will say that I think is important for anyone listening. I'm not just talking. And one of the coolest parts about being a coach, I've been a coach, I was a fitness coach and I was a mindset coach and I was a peak performance coach and I was a business consultant, I was a business coach. Now I'm still business coaching. And I've done all these different types of coaching with all these different types of people from all over the world.

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> Speaker B>And at this stage, after 5000 of these hour long plus and I've got them all tracked, I've come to realize that most people think their problems are their problems. But I say this all the time. We did an event last night, monthly meetup, and there was probably 20 people there.

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> Speaker B>And I said, you think these are you problems? These are human problems. We're all unique and we all have unique goals and dreams and core values, different purposes and passions. But at the end of the day, we all face the same principles, the same adversities, the same human condition. There's no one who doesn't struggle with a little bit of arrogance or a little bit of timidity. There's no one who doesn't struggle with how do I communicate effectively with my intimate partner? There's no one who doesn't struggle with staying in shape and some of us struggle less with those things. So if you've conquered fitness more, then you struggle less with being in shape. But maybe your finances are a mess. If you've focused on finances more, maybe you're doing great there, but your relationship is a mess.

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> Speaker B>And so I think, uh, of holistic self improvement as health, wealth and love. Health is physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Wealth is how you make your money. In other words, do you enjoy what you do? Number, uh, two is how much do you make? Is that increasing or decreasing?

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> Speaker B>And then the third is where do you invest it?

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> Speaker B>And you have to invest money to make money. And I think that's a whole nother episode in and of itself. But the last one is love, which is intimate relationship, friends, family, clients, colleagues, mentors, mentees, and the associations that you have in your life. And so health, wealth, and love is where we landed. I don't want to be healthy and wealthy, but not in love. I don't want to be in love and healthy, but not wealthy. And I think that if we believe in ourselves and we build our self worth and self esteem from a genuine place, not from ego, I think we can accomplish our dreams and help others do the same. And I think that the world would be a better place if everyone was more fulfilled. And I think fulfillment really, at the end of the day, just comes from staying in alignment with your potential, staying in alignment with what you're meant to contribute, and making sure that your quality of life improves over time and that you're leaving. And this is the end of what I would really, my soliloquy, which is meaningful, is what you're doing meaningful, right. I think that at the end of the day, what we're really after is meaning like this, right here, right now. It's meaningful work. I used to sell industrial automation equipment. I could care less. Quite frankly, I just didn't care. It was money. It was a lot of money, but it wasn't as meaningful to me, and it wasn't meaningful work. And so if your life and your work isn't meaningful, you're in trouble. And I've been there. Trust me.

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> Speaker B>So you got to make some pivots.

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> Speaker A>Tell us about any current upcoming projects that you're working on that listeners need to know about, and give out your contact information so we can keep up with everything that you're up to.

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> Speaker B>I appreciate it. So the projects I'm working on, uh, so we have a 21 person team, as I mentioned, we have 22 departments. One of them is actually a charity.

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> Speaker B>Every single department is meant to add value in some sort of self improvement. We have a book club. We have a, uh, products department that creates these journals. They're called dreamliners, and they help you break your large goals down into small daily habits. And I've been using this journal ever since I got it every single day. But whether it's a journal or a monthly meetup, free virtual events, we do, or in person events, we do retreats. Uh, we also do a book club every week. Um, we have an app, actually, for habit tracking. All of that is on the website.

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> Speaker B>If you were intrigued by anything that I shared today, I'll never forget when I first immersed myself into personal growth, personal development. And I went down the rabbit hole of just learning everything I could. And, um, if you're curious and you want to learn more, nextleveluniverse.com, the podcast is next level university, spelt just like it sounds, next level university. And that will be found.

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> Speaker B>Know if you google it, it'll come up any podcast platform. We're also on YouTube, but nextleveluniverse.com is the website, and all of our products and services are featured there. Uh, and many of them are free.

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> Speaker B>Like, a large percentage of them are free. I always use Google as an know. I've been using Google since I was in college and, uh, maybe even in middle school. I remember googling on the little Mac when I was way, way back. But I used Gmail since college. And Google's an amazing company because they give so much away for free.

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> Speaker B>And it wasn't until I started a business that I actually started paying for Google. But next level university is built the same way. It's a lot of free value.

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> Speaker B>And if you do end up enjoying that free value, we also have a lot of paid stuff as well.

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> Speaker A>All right, ladies and gentlemen, nextleveluniverse.com. Be sure to check out everything that Alan's up to. If you know of somebody they can benefit from this conversation, please follow rate review. Share it share it to as many people as possible. If you have any guest or suggestion topics, Cjackson 102 at Cox. Net is the place to send them. As always, thank you for listening. And Alan, thank you so much for joining us and sharing your expertise.

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> Speaker B>You are so very welcome, Curtis. I really appreciate it and, uh, it was an honor and a pleasure. Thank you.

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> Speaker A>For more information on the living the Dream podcast, visit ww www.djcurveball.com.

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> Speaker A>Until next time, stay focused on living the dream. Dream.