Aug. 1, 2024

Living the dream with seasoned leadership coach Aneace Haddad

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In this episode of Living the Dream with Curveball, host Curveball dives into the world of leadership and personal development with seasoned leadership coach Aneace Haddad. With 15 years of experience coaching top executives from multinational companies, Aneace shares his transformative journey from the tech industry to executive coaching. Discover the unique insights he has gained from working across different cultures and the profound impact of midlife changes on leadership abilities.
www.aneace.com
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> Curtis Jackson>Welcome, to the Living the Dream podcast with curveball. if you believe you can achieve Chee Chee, welcome to the Living the Dream with Curveball podcast, a show where I interview guests that, teach, motivate and inspire. Today we're going to be talking about leadership and personal development, as I am joined by leadership coach Anise Haddad. Aneese has 15 years of experience in coaching and working with people from multinational companies, and he focuses on personal growth and culture change and stuff like that. So going to be talking to him about everything that he's up to and the experience that he has all across the world. So, Anise, thank you so much for joining me today.

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> Anise Haddad>Thank you, Curtis. Wonderful to meet you.

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> Curtis Jackson>Why don't you start off by telling everybody a little bit about yourself?

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> Anise Haddad>Okay. So your introduction makes me, flatteringly young with 15 years of experience in coaching. Before that, I had around 30 years, almost 30 years, in the tech space, built a payment software company in France, grew it to 30 countries, sold it in 2007, just before the global financial crisis when I was 47, and proceeded, to have a midlife crisis at that time.

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> Anise Haddad>went through a divorce, moved to Singapore. I had a very big team m already in Singapore at the time, so I was traveling here a lot, and then discovered, so I was a techie originally, and then I discovered, I liked people more than computers. I was more proud of people, that worked for me, who went on to become CEO's, ctos, CFO's of other companies, more proud of that than the technology we created, the patents we filed.

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> Anise Haddad>So, that was very transformative for me. and it took me into executive coaching, leadership facilitation. today I work exclusively with c suite teams over 40.

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> Anise Haddad>So the top executives in the company originally, from the US, but I left some 40 plus years ago. so, yeah, live in a very international world.

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> Curtis Jackson>So what made you want to be a leadership coach? And not only just a leadership coach, but work with, like, multi, you know, international companies?

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> Anise Haddad>Well, the. So, yeah, that's, there's a lot to unpack there. The international side is because I've been mixed, culture since childhood. I was born in Austin, Texas. my mother's family is from Texas and, Oklahoma. My father is from Iraq. He, came over for his PhD, work in Texas, where he met my mom. By the time I was 21, I had spent half my life in the US and then half overseas. Already spoke French fluently, so I've lived my whole life in a very, mixed kind of a world, which today matches a lot of multinational corporations. The top teams of, large international companies tend to be extremely mixed.

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> Anise Haddad>I have two grown daughters in the US.

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> Anise Haddad>My, son is French, but he lives in Brisbane. My wife is australian. I have two teenage, stepchildren. one of them came to Singapore when she was three months old, and the other one was born in Singapore. So it's an extremely mixed environment which kind of reflects the multinational leadership that I encounter. so that part of it was quite easy. It just fits me very well to be swimming in those kinds of waters. the leadership part was really, that was a, ah, difficult process, going from originally a programmer techie, to building a software company.

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> Anise Haddad>I wrote the patents and filed them myself for the company that I ran.

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> Anise Haddad>And then discovering that I, this switch, this shift to people late in life. I was 50 when I was, when I had finally completed that shift. it was quite difficult, but extremely fulfilling and rewarding.

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> Anise Haddad>and I see a lot of people, the reason that I choose to coach only people over 40 is that I see similar energies happening at that time of life. With a lot of people. There's a desiree to find, greater fulfillment, to find more sources of energy and doing things that really, really matter to the person. So, I love that process.

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> Curtis Jackson>Okay, let's shift over and talk about AI.

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> Curtis Jackson>Talk about how you got into AI and how businesses can use AI to humanize the workplace.

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> Anise Haddad>Okay, so I'm not a specialist in AI. I use it like you do, like lots of people do.

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> Anise Haddad>I think the main area. So beyond the practical stuff, I use chat, GPT all the time, and there's all kinds of AI that's coming up in our lives.

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> Anise Haddad>there's a lot of usefulness for it, and then there are limits, of course, but I think on a macro level, what I find most exciting about AI is that it's driving us, to really discover what is human in what we do and what is robotic, automated, automatable, and I don't think, as a very large group of people, I don't think we've spent a lot of time on that reflection. So it's really forcing us to look at what is it that I do that, is really unique and that only human beings can do. So I love that question, and I think that really gradually pushes us to, a lot more in terms of connection to others, trust, care, stuff like that.

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> Anise Haddad>So I think that's fascinating, that whole move.

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> Curtis Jackson>Well, talk about your five step method for personal and professional growth.

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> Anise Haddad>So I have, actually in my latest book, it's a process that's looking at, So the book is soaring beyond midlife. It's on the.

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> Anise Haddad>The subtitles is a surprisingly natural emergence of leadership superpowers in life's second half. And what I examined there are the forces that impact us at midlife, or generally tend to impact us when we're in our forties and fifties.

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> Anise Haddad>and these forces give rise to what I call leadership superpowers. So one of the forces I call these the three winds of change, one of them is physiological, that our bodies are changing. Obviously, we're getting a little fatter around the midsection.

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> Anise Haddad>We don't have as much stamina as we used to have. People, that I coach find that they can't go out drinking with friends and colleagues and then have a board meeting the next morning, whereas maybe in our thirties, we were still able to do that. plus, we become aware of health issues. We start getting concerned about health things in ourselves and others.

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> Anise Haddad>And at the same time, we start to grapple with, this growing awareness that we could be living another three, four, five decades beyond what was traditionally retirement age. And we very likely would be active for quite a while, professionally active for quite a while beyond that. so that's all stretching our sense of, our physical sense, our bodies and stuff. The second wind of change is neurological, so our brains are changing. the prefrontal cortex is slowing down, so we forget where we put our car keys. A, lot of people that I coach find that they tend to be taking more notes now during meetings than they used to. I, remember when I was running my company, I'd go into meetings with customers, and I wouldn't be taking any notes at all. It was all very well registered in my mind. And then I'd go out and then debrief with my colleagues, and we'd move from there. Now I have to take detailed notes, notes of pretty much everything I do, at the same time. So we're all kind of familiar with these negative things that happen with our brains as we age. But at the same time, neuroscience over the last 10, 15, 20 years has discovered that there are benefits that occur. So one area, for example, of the two hemispheres are speaking more to each other, the left and right hemisphere, which means that we connect the dots more easily. We can see patterns more easily than we used to, so it contributes to, a bigger level of thinking, a higher level of strategic thinking. another area that I've looked at and, I've read research papers on our, our intellectual empathy, cognitive empathy, tends to go down.

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> Anise Haddad>So we have a little more trouble understanding people who are saying something different to what we think.

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> Anise Haddad>But at the same time, paradoxically, our emotional empathy increases. So that causes us to get into these situations where, when we're interacting with somebody, and I don't mean reading the news and stuff like that, but really interacting with somebody, we might find ourselves in a situation where we go, God, I don't understand where you're coming from, but I get you. So, that kind of trend is also impacting leadership, that we might not need to agree with everything that people are telling us if we get them emotionally, so that emotional connection grows. I love these kinds of changes, that really enhance our leadership. And the third area is parental, this is a gross generalization, but people, at this age and stage, the c suite executives, of top companies in their forties and fifties often have children and oftentimes their children are growing up and about to leave home. so that forces us to grapple with what is our value as parents. How do we motivate kids, so we can't motivate anymore through KPI, stuff that feels a lot like the management that we used to do in our thirties. If you do this, this will happen. If you don't do this, this will happen.

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> Anise Haddad>and now we need to shift and find ways to be, to be parents without telling people what to do.

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> Anise Haddad>So that forces us to learn to be inspiring, empowering, and it matches very closely, I found, to people's leadership journeys.

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> Anise Haddad>So I look at it through these three lenses, the three winds of change, and I look at what is emerging, what kind of leadership superpowers are emerging in the people that I work with. So it's less, a to do list of what to do, it's more a process of looking inwardly and being aware of these changes and being aware of how they're impacting me.

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> Anise Haddad>Does that make sense?

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> Curtis Jackson>Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

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> Curtis Jackson>So kind of explain to the listeners, what it's like, how it's different dealing with business in the US versus on an international level.

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> Anise Haddad>So, I would frame that in terms of dealing with a company that has, a purely, mono national culture versus a company that has a multinational culture.

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> Anise Haddad>So I see similarities. if I'm working, even though I lived in France 20 years, grew a company there, speak French fluently and all that. If I'm working with a company that is purely french based, or maybe French, France, Belgium, Netherlands, or something nearby, Spain, the culture there is very fixed. It's very monotonous. It's very. How to put it? it's just one culture.

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> Anise Haddad>There isn't the richness that we find in bigger international companies where the top team has people from India, Germany, Vietnam, France, all together in one team. So, it's kind of in the direction of diversity. It's kind of forced diversity, in those environments, because they need these people from different cultures so they can operate, properly. so I love that process, and I see that whether it's a us company or a french company or german company, whatever, if it's monocultural, and their clients and their partners and all that are all in one culture, it doesn't have that diversity that I'm used to.

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> Curtis Jackson>Okay, well, you kind of touched on your book, so let the listeners know about your writings and what we can expect when we read them.

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> Anise Haddad>So my books, this is the second. Well, I wrote two books 25 years ago in the payment space, but I've just finished. Finished my second book, over the last. The first one was two years ago. That was called the eagle that drank hummingbird nectar. A CEO's tale of midlife rejuvenation. that was 25% autobiographical. About me when I was transforming at 50 after selling my company. it's written as pure fiction. the protagonist is not my name, so it allows me to fictionalize a lot of what I went through so that it can be, easier to express. And the reader, there's more entertainment involved in it than simply an autobiography of someone you've never heard of. the next book, soaring beyond midlife, was just published mid June, and the subtitle there is the surprisingly natural emergence of leadership superpowers in life's second half, which really unravels a lot of what unpacks, a lot of what I've been talking about, with you.

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> Anise Haddad>and it's a mix that one is in my voice, but there is a great deal of fiction and poetry. Basically, my writing is designed to be very different from the how to books, which are generally, prevalent in the business space, because I.

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> Anise Haddad>I'm convinced that how to books are.

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> Anise Haddad>Are, are, are more applicable to the slightly younger mind that needs to know. What do I do next? How do I do it? Please tell me, guide me. the midlife, the aging brain is, is more capable of dealing with nuance and, and paradox. and those I feel come through much better through fiction and poetry. it's much less telling you what to do as opposed to sharing emotions and thoughts, and ideas.

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> Curtis Jackson>Okay, so tell us about any upcoming projects that you're working on that people need to be aware of.

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> Anise Haddad>The big one is what I'm working on right now, and understanding the changes of midlife so that, I can help c, suite leaders really tap into their midlife powers that are emerging. That part of it is relatively clear. There's another area that I'm extremely excited about, and that's still in its early phases. around 70% of my work is with teams, top teams, as opposed to individual coaching. So it's coaching the 7810 CEO plus 7810 people. Now, when this whole team is made up of individuals all going through this midlife transformation in different ways, I'm convinced that there is some form of multiplying effect that happens at the team level, and I haven't been able, I haven't yet grasped the mechanism for that. I can see the mechanism on an individual level, the three winds of change, six leadership superpowers that emerge from that. But I'm very intrigued to pursue and better understand how that multiplying effect works and how that can really, really dramatically, give, energy to the top team.

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> Curtis Jackson>Okay, well, go out your website so people can keep up with everything that you're up to.

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> Anise Haddad>Thanks, Curtis. Yeah, we'll see where that goes. To.

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> Curtis Jackson>Throw out your website so listeners can keep up with everything that you're up to.

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> Anise Haddad>So my website is either through, my first name is anise dot uh.com. a n dash e dash e.com. that's the easiest way to reach it, and that redirects to my corporate website. So it's just, I have a name that's spelled in a very unique way, so I could get the.com on my first name.

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> Curtis Jackson>Sweet.

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> Curtis Jackson>So close us out with some final thoughts, maybe if that was something that I forgot to talk about that you would like to touch on, or any final thoughts you have for the listeners.

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> Anise Haddad>I think the, when I look at the final chapter of my latest book, which was written quite a while after I had written the first draft of this book, we forget how much humor and joy comes in, especially later at life, things become lighter.

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> Anise Haddad>So I guess the final thought would be, if your listeners are noticing that in their lives as they age. God, we need to lean into that. I think that's missing in a lot of corporate environments. A little bit of humor, some laughter, at the very top levels.

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> Anise Haddad>and when I see that happen at an executive committee meeting, which is usually very dry, it's magical. And I think that's a power that develops later in life, which it'd be wonderful for people to tap into that a bit more.

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> Curtis Jackson>All right, ladies and gentlemen, anise.com. check out everything that anise is up to. Check out his book. Please be sure to follow rate review share this episode to as many people as possible. Jump on your favorite podcast app. Give us a follow. Check out the show.

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> Curtis Jackson>Leave us a review. If you have any guests or suggestion topics, Curtis Jackson 1978. Net is the place to send them. Thank you for listening and supporting the show. And Aneese, thank you so much for joining me.

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> Anise Haddad>Thank you, Curtis. I love speaking with you.

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> Curtis Jackson>For more information on the living the Dream podcast, visit www.djcurveball.com.

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> Curtis Jackson>until next time, stay focused on living the dream.

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> Anise Haddad>Dream.