Feb. 1, 2026

Finding Joy Beyond Circumstance: Larry Kesslin's Journey to Purpose and Connection

Send us a text In this enlightening episode of Living the Dream with Curveball, we sit down with Larry Kesslin, a purpose-driven coach, author, and speaker dedicated to helping high achievers reconnect with their true selves. Larry shares his transformative experiences, including a life-changing trip to Africa that led him to explore the concept of joy beyond material possessions. He reveals how his interactions with individuals in Uganda and Kenya reshaped his understanding of happiness and ...

Send us a text

In this enlightening episode of Living the Dream with Curveball, we sit down with Larry Kesslin, a purpose-driven coach, author, and speaker dedicated to helping high achievers reconnect with their true selves. Larry shares his transformative experiences, including a life-changing trip to Africa that led him to explore the concept of joy beyond material possessions. He reveals how his interactions with individuals in Uganda and Kenya reshaped his understanding of happiness and fulfillment, sparking the creation of his book, *The Joy Molecule*. Through heartfelt stories, Larry emphasizes that true joy is an inward knowing, separate from external circumstances. He also discusses his work with the Challenged Athletes Foundation and the inspiring stories of resilience he encountered while cycling with athletes who have overcome significant challenges. Tune in to discover Larry's insights on redefining success, the importance of human connection, and his upcoming projects, including a new deck of cards aimed at fostering deeper conversations. Don’t miss this opportunity to be inspired and learn how to unlock the power of human connection in your own life. Explore more about Larry and his work at 5dotS.com.

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27:44 - (Cont.) Finding Joy Beyond Circumstance: Larry Kesslin's Journey to Purpose and Connection

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00:01:01.279 --> 00:01:25.629
> Curtis Jackson>Welcome to the Living the Dream podcast with Curveball. if you believe you can achieve. Welcome to the Living the Dream with Curveball podcast, a show where I interview guests that teach, motivate and inspire. Today I am joined by Larry Kesslin.

00:01:25.629 --> 00:02:08.620
> Curtis Jackson>He is an author, a speaker and a purpose driven coach who helps high achievers reconnect with who they truly are, redefine success and create a life full of purpose, meaning and connection. Larry is best known for being the father of two 20 somethings. So we're going to be talking to him about things like his life changing trip to Africa. And when we was in the green room, he was telling me how he works with this disabled community. So for all you out there, you know who might be disabled, listen up. So Larry, thank you for joining me.

00:02:10.459 --> 00:02:13.899
> Larry Kesslin>It's a pleasure to be here and love your attitude.

00:02:13.899 --> 00:02:16.620
> Larry Kesslin>And you sound like you have a ton of positivity.

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> Larry Kesslin>That's a beautiful thing.

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> Curtis Jackson>Well, I definitely try to.

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> Curtis Jackson>And why don't you start off by telling everybody a little bit about yourself.

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> Larry Kesslin>Well, I live in San Diego, California. I moved here a little over 15 and a half years ago from a small town called New York City. And I do not miss the east coast much at all, especially with all the weather that's going on right now. And I'm The father of two children as you mentioned. A 25 year old daughter lives in Denver and a 24 year old son who lives in Houston. And my son's getting married in May. He's asked me to officiate his wedding. So excited to do that. And I have been on this journey 62 and a half trips around the sun. Ish.

00:03:00.349 --> 00:03:50.569
> Larry Kesslin>And I am, loving my life and trying to do whatever I can to help other people enjoy theirs. And I have had some major turning points and milestones in my life that have taught me what peace means to me and how do I find this sense of calm from someone who grew up in a city that never sleeps and an attitude of win at all cost and everything's a competition and I don't believe that that's what produces peace. And I think that most of us in my journey, what I'm learning is that I think that's what we all really want, even though we don't always say it. So pleasure to be here and looking forward to having a conversation and getting to know you better.

00:03:52.009 --> 00:04:01.109
> Curtis Jackson>Well, one of the turning points you had in your life is your trip to Africa. So talk about that because that helped you create what you call the joy molecules. So talk about that.

00:04:02.180 --> 00:05:49.129
> Larry Kesslin>Well, it was 2012. I just moved to San Diego a couple years earlier. And a year before I went to Africa, I met a woman on the beach in San Diego who was running a nonprofit that was bringing computers to rural villages in eastern and northern Uganda. And I, said, you know what, I have a tech background. I love computers. My now ex wife went to Africa without me when I first met her. And I was always jealous that she went on safari and I didn't. And I always wanted to go back to Africa and see it. And I said, this is a great cause. I spent a lot of time in New York City when I was living there volunteering, a big trip in my life. In 1993, I went to do an inner city youth, ah, program out in Colorado and took a dozen kids from New York and we met up with 70 plus others and from around the country and taught these kids to ski. And when I got back from that trip, I quit my job at the General Electric company, which I had worked at for almost five years. And my boss asked me at that moment, what are you going to do? And I said, I have no idea, but not this. And the same thing I experienced in 1993, I experienced in Africa in 2012. That experience was watching people that had so much less than I did, that were so much happier than I was. And I didn't understand at the time how someone with nothing compared to what we have in this country, how they could be so joyful and peaceful and connected to each other when they didn't have nearly the things that I had. So I ended up spending close to a month in Africa.

00:05:50.570 --> 00:06:59.750
> Larry Kesslin>We're in Uganda and Kenya. And I just walked away from that experience very confused. Honestly. I'm like, why are these people so much happier than we are and they have so much less than we do when seven weeks after I got back from Africa, I was at, a conference in Mexico called opportunity collaboration for 400 people trying to solve world poverty. This conference happens once a year and it's called an UN Conference because the only speakers are the attendees. Really cool experience. And I'm in this first breakout the first morning. And the facilitator of the class asked me three questions. And I think today, if I really look back, those are probably three of the most impactful questions of my life. And they were, what is poverty? Who gets to define it and why are we trying to fix it? And I just kind of blew my mind. Like, did I just visit a Place that was poor. Were those people really poor? Because they were pretty happy. And I would assume that poverty would mean misery. And what is poverty?

00:07:00.710 --> 00:09:23.590
> Larry Kesslin>And I really started digging in, like, like for the next year. And in 2014, I did a TEDx, talk titled the Disconnected Connected World. And I realized that I was in a community that was deeply connected technologically, but disconnected emotionally and spiritually. And what I experienced in Africa was deep connection, connected to each other, connected to the land because they were still farming it, and connected to their ancestors because there's no Google. At least at that time in 2012, technology wasn't rampant like it is here. And they actually look at their elders and they respect their elders. So it's like, what are these people doing that we're not? And that's what I've been working on, that's what I've been trying to figure out, is how do I find this place that is peaceful, that I can enjoy my life and just be the way that I was born to be versus what I've been taught to be. And that has been the last 13 years of my life, is trying to deconstruct how I was taught to live in this world, to understand who I really am versus what I was taught to be. And it's kind of where the joy molecule comes in. The book's actually a combination of eight stories of eight different people I've met over the last 12, 13 years since I got back from Africa, and what the lessons they've taught me. And that first lesson was that circumstance does not define my joy. Like, if I can meet people that are super happy and super joyful, that have nothing, then circumstance has nothing to do with joy. Now happiness, it's a different story. Happiness to me, is about getting your needs met. Joy is an inward knowing of what you are, who you are, and why you are. And even if you have nothing, you can know what you are, who you are, and why you are. And sometimes when you have lots, you might not know what you are, who you are, and why you are, because you're just chasing stuff. And that's what our culture teaches. So that was my takeaway. And I've had a, blessed life, been to a lot of places, been able to share my curiosity with lots of people and ask a lot of questions and try and understand why people are the way they are. And I've asked a lot of people their definition of happiness and joy.

00:09:24.629 --> 00:09:53.409
> Larry Kesslin>And as I've started to share my definition and my definition of joy is basically inner Peace, which is knowing what you are, what do you do, what are your skill sets, how do you show up on this planet, your who is, your values and your essence and. And how people experience you, and your why is your reason for being. And, when you know those three things, nobody can tell you you're anything other than what you know you are. And that, to me, brings us peace.

00:09:55.490 --> 00:10:11.429
> Curtis Jackson>Well, in the green room, you were talking to me about. You, did a trip with a, blind gentleman on a tandem bike, and you were telling me about an organization there in San Diego that. That helps the disabled. So talk to us about that.

00:10:12.309 --> 00:10:21.500
> Larry Kesslin>Yeah. And, if you think about how I'm wired, I'm here to be of service to the world. That's how I see my life. So I've been cycling since I'm a kid.

00:10:21.819 --> 00:11:16.309
> Larry Kesslin>When the pandemic happened, I got back on my bike, I started riding a bunch, and somebody invited me to start riding with this group called the Challenged Athletes Foundation. And three of the stories in the book are about three different challenged athletes that I've met in my life. And they have amazing stories. So I start writing in the Challenge Athletes, and I get there the first morning, and I see this woman on a tandem with another guy. And she hears me clacking past her with my bike shoes, and she says, hi. And I'm like, hi. She didn't look back at me, and turns out she was blind and she was on the back of a tandem. And I said hi to the captain, and I just let it go. Her name was Carol. I saw Carol. Tom was her captain. I said hi to Tom, and I went up biking, and about halfway through the ride, we're up. We started in Delmare, went up into Carlsbad.

00:11:16.870 --> 00:12:12.600
> Larry Kesslin>Halfway through the ride, the tandem passes me on my right. I'm looking at the bike saying, you know what? I could see myself on the front of one of those things, and I let it go. Just fleeting thought. About a month and a half later, I go back to another ride. I'd been out of town for a month, so I hadn't been riding much with the group. And I get back to the. To the ride, and I see the same blind woman on a different bike with a different captain. And I'm like, wait a second, Carol. Are you cheating on that other guy? I saw you here a couple weeks ago with this other captain. Who's this? Turns out the guy that she was with this time is Sergeant Major Brian. Brian Milton. And Brian and I became good friends, and I still have a lot of friends that are part of the group called the Blind Stokers. So I said, carol, what are you doing? How do you find all these different captains? There's a club in town that has able bodied riders ride tandem, with blind athletes.

00:12:13.319 --> 00:12:22.189
> Larry Kesslin>And so I got the name of the guy who runs it, reached out to him, filled out an application, called him the next day, he says, come to my house tomorrow. I'm like, why am I coming to your house?

00:12:22.629 --> 00:13:11.379
> Larry Kesslin>He says, I'll give you a tandem and I'll introduce you to our trainer and she'll teach you how to ride a tandem. I'm like, you're kidding me. He's like, no. So I go down there, this is I don't know, August of 2021. And I go down and pick up the bike. The woman who does the training is also living in Carlsbad where I live. So I ride the bike down the coast by myself to her house. Got people honking at me saying, you're missing something behind you. Like I'm riding a tandem bike by myself so there's nobody on the back. And I go some do some training with her. And then I talked to the guy who runs the club and I said, you know the Challenged Athletes foundation does a ride every year called the Million Dollar Challenge, called mdc. And that ride is from San Francisco to San Diego and it happens every year.

00:13:12.259 --> 00:14:33.860
> Larry Kesslin>And it's an amazing experience, absolutely amazing experience. And I told the guy who runs the club, I said, if you connect me with an athlete that just happens to be blind, I will do the Million Dollar Challenge with them versus doing it by myself on my own bike. So he connected me with this young man, his name is Jeff Mata. Jeff is now 43 years old. He is a world champion Jiu Jitsu competitor. He is on the USA judo team, 100% blind and he competes against sighted athletes. He is just absolutely friggin amazing. So I spent the next year and change training with Jeff and in 2022 we flew up to San Francisco, our tandem was shipped up there and we rode from San Francisco to San Diego over seven days. And probably the not probably the most challenging physical thing I've ever done in my life. Training for that was a lot of work and I had a blast. The community that challenged athletes has created is just absolutely amazing. The dinner we had at Dana Point the night before we finished the ride, I went back the following year and participated in that dinner and I cried because I knew most of the Athletes that had ridden. I was really connected to a lot of people there. And, I don't know, curveball.

00:14:33.860 --> 00:14:46.538
> Larry Kesslin>There's something about people that have had challenge in their life, especially Jeff. And the second story from the challenged athletes is Moon Tucker. She lost her arm in a motorcycle accident.

00:14:47.259 --> 00:15:09.189
> Larry Kesslin>She is 2016, went to Rio for the Paralympics as a compound archer, first woman ever to make the US Paralympic team. And, for archery. And then the third story is Joe Delagrave, who was the coach of the wheelchair rugby team. Broke his neck at 19, 6' 6, 260, competitive football player in college.

00:15:09.669 --> 00:17:03.429
> Larry Kesslin>And all these stories are all about one thing. And my guess is you. I don't know if you've been blind your whole life or what your situation is, but all of these people lost something. And that whole section is called the Identity Illusion. And I believe as humans, we believe that we are this thing we call our identity. I was watching Jim Carrey on a video recently and he said, you know, I played a lot of characters in my life, including Jim Carrey, except Jim Carrey was an unintentional character that was created through his whole life, not something that he played on a movie. And I totally believe that because identity is just something we create to keep ourselves safe and comfortable. But it's not us. And most of the people I've met that have faced real challenge in their life. And I can't say I have, but I have found some peace in knowing that I'm more than my mind and, I'm more than my body. And what I learned from all the athletes that I've spent time with is that they have gotten to a place where they know that their body is just a vehicle to carry them. And whether they can see or not see or whether they're missing an arm or a leg. One of the tandems was actually a blind guy in the back and a one legged cyclist, in the front with a prosthetic on a right leg. So that tandem, had two challenged athletes. One was sighted and one was blind. It was just an amazing experience. There's something about people that have faced hardship.

00:17:03.669 --> 00:17:14.480
> Larry Kesslin>And I'm working with Joe Delagrave, the third story in the book in that section. And we're going to write the next book called the Identity Illusion. And he's going to tell his story about losing his identity multiple times in his life.

00:17:15.279 --> 00:17:20.000
> Larry Kesslin>And Kerbal, I don't know, I don't know your story and I'd love to hear.

00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:23.999
> Larry Kesslin>I mean, were you sighted at some Point in your life or you're born.

00:17:24.799 --> 00:17:32.960
> Curtis Jackson>I was totally blind since birth due to congenital glaucoma. And I had four ah, cornea transplants, but they all rejected.

00:17:34.539 --> 00:17:36.299
> Larry Kesslin>So, you know, no different than what you are.

00:17:36.700 --> 00:17:37.579
> Curtis Jackson>Absolutely.

00:17:38.220 --> 00:18:26.910
> Larry Kesslin>But there are people that have stuff and lose it, and that's different. And Jeff Mata, who I've, I've known his story. I've spent hundreds of hours on a bicycle with Jeff. When you spend that much time on a bike by yourselves, just the two of you talk about a lot of stuff. So imagine you're 26 years old, fully sighted and dabbling with real estate. Competitive boxer, gets hit in the head, detached retina, within two weeks, he's totally blind. And the next year was just misery. Alcohol, drugs. The end of the first year, tried to commit suicide, didn't work. Took him five years to accept the fact that he was blind. But when he did, which was 18 years ago, his life has transformed. And now he's a world class athlete.

00:18:26.910 --> 00:19:29.840
> Larry Kesslin>He always was. But now he happens to be a world class athlete that happens to be blind. He's done triathlons, he's done marathons, he finished Kona in, 14 and a half hours, which is just unthinkable. he's just an amazing human. And when I get into stressful times and I call him and he's at peace, I'm like, what the hell is going on? How could he be so peaceful and in control of his life? And I'm this person who's got everything I could probably have ever wanted in my life and then some. And the world still struggle for me or was. And it wasn't until I got past my mind until I realized that I was more than just this skin sack that I happened to be placed in. And I try and explain to people that I, the, the eye that I know is the sky and my thoughts are the clouds and my feelings, that's the weather. And most of the people that I've met and most of my life I believed I was the clouds. And now I know I'm not.

00:19:30.798 --> 00:20:08.500
> Larry Kesslin>And that's something the challenged athletes community has really taught me, is that my body is just a thing. a good friend of mine, Eric Northbrook, I'm going to have lunch with him next week. He broke his back. He just celebrated 20 years of being a, paraplegic. And he's a real estate broker here in town. And first time I met him, he was in a wheelchair. And I'm like, oh, poor guy. And Then I started to get to know him and not. Poor guy. My. My butt. Yeah, he's got real challenges getting up in the morning. What he's got to do, all the stuff he's got to do to take care of himself. But as one motivated MF man, he is. There's no stopping him. Whatever he puts his mind to, he will do and he will accomplish.

00:20:09.300 --> 00:20:58.779
> Larry Kesslin>And it just. What. Whatever life throws at you, you either quit or it makes you stronger. But if you stay stuck in the mind and trapped in thought, that's where I think our society is stuck right now, is that we're living in this idea that. That I need all these things in order for me to be happy. And the truth is, I'm sure I, based on how you just. I feel your energy, that I think you know, that. That I think there's a blessing that comes with just being alive. I mean, it's an amazing experience, isn't it? No matter whether you're. Whatever you are. Eight billion of us on this planet experiencing life, and if we just get out of our own heads and learn what we are, then the world will be such a nicer, easier place to live.

00:21:01.100 --> 00:21:10.420
> Curtis Jackson>Well, why do you feel like, so many high achievers struggle with the word enough? You know, stuff like enough success, enough money, or enough recognition.

00:21:11.700 --> 00:21:35.779
> Larry Kesslin>Yeah, I've come up with this thing after I wrote the book. I came up with this concept called the Enough Academy, which is in the book, but the enough equation. And the enough equation is a numerator and denominator. And the numerator, the top of the fraction, is being. So being your authentic self, knowing exactly who you are. Most people don't have much of a concept of that.

00:21:36.180 --> 00:22:17.190
> Larry Kesslin>They're being whatever the world taught them to be. They're not being authentically them. And many people will go to their grave never knowing who they truly are. They'll just play out the character they were taught. The second part of the equation is. Is giving. And I think the most selfish thing we could ever do because it's the thing that feels the best, is when we give unconditionally to somebody else. Call it philanthropy, call it whatever you want. I'm not talking about money, talking about time. I'm talking about talent. And treasure is nice, but giving of oneself to somebody else is the most selfish thing we can do. Everybody says it's selfless, but honestly, it's a thing that feels the best. So if it feels the best, it's selfish.

00:22:17.830 --> 00:22:35.970
> Larry Kesslin>So giving intentionally is the second part. And Then having. You ask why people are struggling with having is because they don't understand the difference between a, want and a need. Most of our culture defines I need that house in order to be happy. No, you don't need the house to be happy.

00:22:36.130 --> 00:25:21.080
> Larry Kesslin>You want the house. But what we need, we need food, water, shelter, safety, love, air and health. Those are the things we need. And some of us, me and others need sex. But other than those things, everything else curveballs. a want. But our society is so attached to needs, and that word just causes a lot of unrest. But the denominator, the bottom of the equation, is the key to all of it. No matter how much you're being your authentic self, no matter how much you're giving, and no matter how much you understand the difference between a want and a need, the bottom, the denominator of the equation is comparison. And if you live comparing yourself to anybody else, you will never find happiness, you'll never find joy, because there will always be somebody better looking. There'll always be somebody with more money. There'll always be somebody with a prettier spouse or whatever. You can find anything you want. But comparison, to me, is the killer of joy and the killer of enough. And that's where our society is challenged right now, is that I almost feel like we're in the desert for 40 years praying to gold statues. Those, gold statues are Wall Street, Madison Avenue, and Hollywood. So Wall street teaches us the value of money. Madison Avenue teaches us how we should look so we can feel better about ourselves. Has nothing to do with it. Body image stuff, women with anorexia, bulimia, all because of how society projects, how you should look in order to feel good about yourself. And that's crap. We're all uniquely ourselves, and, I don't know, we're on this path of why are we really here? So people are mostly unhappy. From my experience, because I was, too, is because we don't know what we are. We compare ourselves to everybody else, and we really don't know the difference between a want and a need. And that just causes all types of challenges between ourselves, between the people that we love and, man, this need to be right. Oh, my God, we are so struggling with our need to say that. What I know is right. So, Kerbal, I'm one of 8 billion creatures on this planet. I've had 62 plus years of experiences unfold in front of me, and I've interpreted all those things that happened in front of me, and that is my belief system. How can that be true if there's 8 billion others of me all experiencing something totally different? I'll give you an example. You go to a funeral in the United States and. And we mourn and we cry. And if you're not crying and mourning, you're ashamed.

00:25:21.240 --> 00:26:15.570
> Larry Kesslin>How could you be happy if you go to India or countries halfway around the world? They celebrate life. We're all human. Why does one culture celebrate while the other mourns? And why is it culturally inappropriate to celebrate when the people around you are mourning? My parents are 94 and 91 years old. They have lived a spectacular life, and I will miss them when they're gone. But, God, I'm going to celebrate their life, my friend.

00:26:15.970 --> 00:26:43.350
> Larry Kesslin>They've had an amazing journey. Amazing. So what is it? What is our belief system? And to say that I'm right and you're wrong, that's only based on our training. We don't know what right and wrong really is. At the end of the day, I just see a lot of struggle with people trying to live by society's rules when society has got its own challenges, and every society has different rules.

00:26:43.350 --> 00:27:00.800
> Larry Kesslin>So, which one's right? And I think a lot of people want or need to be right in order to be happy, and I don't think that's true. I think happiness is a choice, and needing to be right is a choice, and those two choices don't go together. Needing to be right does not lead to happiness.

00:27:03.130 --> 00:27:10.450
> Curtis Jackson>Well, tell us about your book. what listeners can expect when they read it, what you want them to take away from it, and, where to get it.

00:27:11.250 --> 00:27:24.050
> Larry Kesslin>Well, you can get it on Amazon. I just finished the audio version. It'll be ready. I actually have a call tomorrow with the gentleman who's finishing the audio file, and it'll be up on audible in the next couple of weeks, I guess, maybe sooner.

00:27:24.990 --> 00:27:36.170
> Larry Kesslin>that's how you can get it. The book is eight stories, eight different people I've met over the last, 12, 13 years. And the first story is about Armstrong, the gentleman met in Africa in 2012.

00:27:36.570 --> 00:27:57.990
> Larry Kesslin>It's a beautiful story about our bags getting lost by Turkish Airlines. They gave us $1200 for our inconvenience of. For not getting them to us for six days. And I ended up giving most of that money to this kid who wanted to become a pilot. So, Kerbal, I'm in Africa. I meet a kid named Armstrong. Who's the most famous Armstrong. You know it's Neil Armstrong, right?

00:27:58.550 --> 00:28:00.550
> Curtis Jackson>Absolutely. Bob Armstrong.

00:28:01.110 --> 00:28:21.070
> Larry Kesslin>Yeah, so Neil Armstrong's a, a, a astronaut, pilot. And here I meet this kid in Africa named Armstrong, and all he wants to do is become a pilot. And I was just given $1,200 from an airline, and I didn't budget to get that money. It was given to me. And I'm like, this money was not meant for me. Well, fast forward 13 years later.

00:28:21.070 --> 00:29:22.360
> Larry Kesslin>I've invested a significant amount of time and energy and resources into Armstrong's life. He now lives in the United States. He's married with two kids and works between Africa and here. He's dealing with some health challenges now at 38, but amazing young man. And the lesson he taught me is that circumstances not define my joy. And I've had other situations. The last story in the book is Trinity, who I met in 2024 at the same conference I visited in 2012 called Opportunity Collaboration. And Trinity is teaching young people in Uganda about computers. And Trinity is amazing. This company called era92era92.com and, he was a street kid. His mom birthed him in the slums in Kampala. She was kicked out of her home because the man who impregnated her denied that it was his. So her parents were shamed and they kicked her out. And she couldn't afford anything when she got to the big city. And he grew up in the slums. By the time he was 9, his mom got a real job and couldn't take care of him anymore.

00:29:22.759 --> 00:29:36.440
> Larry Kesslin>And he joined a gang. And for four years, he lived in fear every day. The first six months of his experience, at nine years old, he saw four of his friends die. Not get hurt, not maimed, but dead.

00:29:36.759 --> 00:29:46.730
> Larry Kesslin>And he feared every day for his life. And at 13, two weeks before his 13th birthday, he, his gang, leader, got stoned in front of him. And everybody that was around him said, get out of here. Go.

00:29:46.730 --> 00:30:15.670
> Larry Kesslin>Run. This is your chance. Be free. Because he knew that if he left the gang, they would come and they would kill him. So he ends up behind this church with two of his friends. One of them malnourished to the point where he's about to die. And this woman comes up and taps him on the shoulder. She's from Northern Ireland. And, she says, if I could get you one thing to keep you off the streets, what would that be? Because we're starting a boys club at this church. If you accept Jesus Christ as your savior. I'm a nice Jewish boy from New York.

00:30:16.070 --> 00:31:28.460
> Larry Kesslin>But he said, whatever you will do to give me A place to live. And he said, if you do one thing for me, that would be get me a computer. And his friend said, get him a musical instrument. Well, it's now he was 13, so he's now 32. So it was almost 20 years ago. The young man that got the guitar is now the number one recording artist in Uganda. And Trinity, who got a computer, now runs a computer training company where he gives away free training to street kids in the slums. He's got six containers in six different slums in Uganda and Kenya, and he takes those kids and employs the best and brightest. And then he has a car wash, he's got a safari company. So both of those gentlemen have taught me that my circumstances not define my joy. And I was just texting with Trinity earlier today. He calls me Papa. I never had a dad. And I, feel honored to have two beautiful children through my ex wife and two adopted sons, Armstrong and Trinity. I love them all. The second story in the book is Carrie Rich. She was handed $2 million at 26 to go change the world. And that was, oh, 14 years ago or so.

00:31:29.019 --> 00:31:45.100
> Larry Kesslin>And Carrie's an amazing woman, but that whole section is called Redirecting Capital. And for me, that is my work needs to matter. So circumstances not define my joy. My work needs to matter. The third chapter, I told you already all the challenged athletes about the identity illusion.

00:31:45.420 --> 00:31:52.860
> Larry Kesslin>So the more I'm attached to my identity and my ego, the farther I am from happiness and joy. The fourth lesson, pretty straightforward.

00:31:52.860 --> 00:31:58.940
> Larry Kesslin>Perseverance, persistence and patience. Can't stop. Got to keep going. There is no stopping.

00:31:59.420 --> 00:32:02.779
> Larry Kesslin>Stopping is quitting. And there's no quitting in this lifetime.

00:32:03.740 --> 00:33:00.769
> Larry Kesslin>And the last story in the book before I get to Trinity at the end is Irving Levin and his wife Stephanie Fowler. And Irving sold a bank for a lot of money 20 years ago, started giving away money and started giving money to first time college students in Portland, Oregon. And it's now 20 years later and this year they'll end up giving away 1,000 scholarships to 1,000 kids that are first generation scholars. He gives them each$5,000. That's $5 million a year. And he knows every one of those students. He's got a three and a half person staff that goes through all the resumes and all the applications and makes sure they pick the right kids. Some of them are adults that are going back to school with children, but they're all first gen, first person in their family to go to college. And he makes a huge impact and that Whole section is called the Enough Academy. When we have enough as a society, what is our responsibility? Back to life, to others. And those are the lessons.

00:33:01.250 --> 00:33:12.740
> Larry Kesslin>But the other part of the story is that this idea of the subtitle of the book is how to Unlock the Power of Human Connection. And on the back of the book and inside the book, there's a joy molecule.

00:33:12.740 --> 00:36:33.860
> Larry Kesslin>It's natural molecule. And a molecule is made up of atoms. And this molecule is made up of four atoms. The central atom, the largest atom, is the joy atom. And around it is your what, your who and your why. And they circle the joy atom. But the truth is they're different sizes and they're different sizes because they have different values of connection. So your what connection? What do you do for a living? What's your favorite sports team? Those are all what I would call resume connections. Those are all things you do, but they're not who you are. The who molecule, the who atom is a little bit bigger than the what. Because that's your values, that's your essence, that's your priorities in life. That's how you show up to the world. And that's a deeper connection. When you connect to someone around your who, but your why, that's the deepest connection. But when you know all three and you find others that have a shared why, that's a beautiful thing. And at the end of the day, I think we're all here to find more connection. Some of us need to connect more with the planet. Some of us need to connect with other animals. Some of us need to connect with our art and our creativity. But the majority of us, I think we're here to connect with other humans. And one of the challenges we face as a culture, I don't believe we do that very well. And I don't think we teach it very well. And one of the keys for me is this idea of owning my own feelings. So another reason why people I think are unhappy is because they blame the outside world for what's happening inside of them. And there's a point on our journey when we realize that it's no longer about anything outside of us, that all of our challenges come from our own wounds. I've listened to Eckhart Tolle talk about pain bodies, and Michael Singer will talk about Sapskaras. And that comes from ancient text. We live our lives and things happen to us and they create wounds inside of us. Some of them, most of them we don't even remember, but they cause us to feel and they trigger us. So I've been in a relationship for about a year now and been a couple of instances lately where things have happened and both of us are very clear that we own our feelings. Something happened with my girlfriend and I came back, I needed a couple hours to myself, and I came back afterwards and I said, you know, in a previous time, I would have said, you didn't care for me and what happened. And the truth is, I felt uncared for. It's a very different conversation to say I felt uncared for. And I know you didn't do it on purpose, and I know it's not your intention to make me feel anything bad, but I felt uncared for. And we had a beautiful conversation around it, and we were able to come to a really great place of next time something like this happens, then we can get to the resolution sooner. And it's just really beautiful when you can spend time with people who own their own feelings and can actually express them and know that you didn't cause it, that they have something going on inside of them and it's a pain or a challenge that they're facing. And usually have three options when that happens. You can ask the person to fix their own pain. Totally realistic. Go fix your inner child wounds. Not a bad plan. The other option is to have the person who did the thing stop doing the thing so it doesn't rub that person anymore.

00:36:34.019 --> 00:37:17.470
> Larry Kesslin>Challenging. But I think the best solution is a little bit. Both the person who does the action, knowing that they're doing it, and the person who's feeling the pain working on themselves to try and relieve the pain. And I think that's a beautiful way to have a partnership and to live in relationship. But there's a lot of blame going on right now. A lot of angry people, a lot of people thinking that somebody took something from them and the world is conspiring to gang up against them. And I just don't believe that. I believe that we're all beautiful beings. We just have stories that we've been told that we believe are true, and they're just stories. And our life is made up of stories, and they're beautiful stories.

00:37:18.030 --> 00:37:32.510
> Larry Kesslin>And I'm not arguing that they're not our truth, but the difference between our own truth and the truth, I think, is where the challenges come. And people want their truth to be everybody else's truth. And that's not true either.

00:37:34.430 --> 00:37:38.909
> Curtis Jackson>Well, tell us about any upcoming projects that you're working on that listeners need to be aware of.

00:37:40.510 --> 00:37:55.659
> Larry Kesslin>Oh, there's a lot I'm working on. I got a new deck of cards. I just got them about a month ago, and I'm putting up a website. They're called spark cards. I, talked about the what, the who, and the why. And there's something about our country where you meet somebody and they say, what do you do?

00:37:56.380 --> 00:38:10.690
> Larry Kesslin>And I would wish that if I had any impact on the world, that nobody would ever ask that question again. That we'd be asking questions like, tell me more about your life. Tell me what makes you happy. Tell me whatever. And it's 52 cards. 52.

00:38:10.769 --> 00:38:17.130
> Larry Kesslin>Actually 54 cards because there's two jokers in the deck. Each of the suits has a different theme.

00:38:17.130 --> 00:39:36.780
> Larry Kesslin>So the hearts are connection and love. The clubs are growth and resilience. The diamonds are joy and aliveness. And the spades are purpose and legacy. The deuce is the least vulnerable question. The ace is the most vulnerable. So if you're using them with friends that you don't know very well, I'd avoid all the suits because they're a little bit more deeper questions. And then the two jokers are just over the top. When would you ever feel like enough? That's one of the joker questions. so it really spurns conversations about who we are. I'm working on a couple more books. So the Identity Illusion will probably be out before this year's over. Redirecting Capital will be out in 2027. And then, the Enough Academy. But I'm working on something right now that I've been challenging since 2014. When I created my Ted Talk. I challenged Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And, what I've learned in my lifetime is that Abraham Maslow never created a hierarchy of needs. Abraham Maslow talked about human needs and desires and things of that nature. But the triangle or the pyramid was created by some consultants that wanted to use his methodology in business. And they attributed it to him. But I don't think that's what he was talking about because I don't think self actualization and love and belonging and self esteem are real needs.

00:39:37.740 --> 00:40:30.090
> Larry Kesslin>There are desires. maybe love is a need to feel fulfilled. but that comes from inside. So I've been working on this thing I'm calling the Ascension Ladder, which is, I think, to make life more peaceful. We're all on a ladder, and we're on a rung somewhere on that ladder. And at the base of the ladder is survival, food, water, shelter and safety. In the middle is me. Love and belonging and self esteem. It's all about me and trying to figure out how I function. And then the top of the ladder I call Ascension, which is self actualization and self transcendence, which is where Maslow is going. And is it possible that we're just on a ladder, some rung somewhere, and our job is to wake up, figure out where we are, reach down to those below us to help them up the Ladder, and to reach up above us and to ask the people above us, what do you see that I don't see?

00:40:30.570 --> 00:41:54.789
> Larry Kesslin>So I can learn to ascend this ladder and there's no rung that's any better than any other. And envy and jealousy and all those things need to go away for us to be a healthy society. And that's what I'm working on. So I wrote a fable about that. Not sure when I'll publish it, but it's pretty much finished. And it's a story about me trying to explain to my 25 year old daughter, who actually did ask this question, just about three weeks ago, she said, daddy, why are we really all here? And she had gone through a bunch of stuff that made her really contemplate life. And to me, that was a beautiful question. Why are we really here, Kerbal? It can't be to accumulate a bunch of stuff, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go sit in front of a boob tube, then go to sleep and go do the same thing again. That can't be why we're here. If it is, I'd be very disappointed. I don't think it is. I think we're here to figure out why we're here. And that's what I'm working on. It's what I'm dedicating my life to. Also love. If there's anybody in San Diego, I love connecting really good humans to each other. I launched something last year that I named the Social Impact Society. I connect people for a living. I coach, successful people to help them find some peace with their success. Because I did not have peace 13 years ago when I walked away from my company.

00:41:55.030 --> 00:42:07.599
> Larry Kesslin>Well, actually, 11 years ago I walked away from my company. But 13 years ago, I made the most money I'd ever made in my life. And every year I've made less. And I can't tell you how much happier I am today than I was when I was making a lot of money.

00:42:08.240 --> 00:42:45.360
> Larry Kesslin>And not that I'm poor and, not that I need anything, but making more money did absolutely nothing for my happiness. Gave me options, gave me choices, gave me privilege, gave me a lot of things, but one thing it did not give me was happiness or joy. That's an inside job. So if anybody wants to reach out, my website is 5dotS5-dotS.com and feel free to reach out to me on email LarryarryKesselin.com and I'm excited to share with the world and to help others on their path and that's why I'm here. There.

00:42:45.360 --> 00:43:21.460
> Curtis Jackson>Ah we go ladies and gentlemen. So please reach out to Larry and connect with him and pick up his book. Check out everything that he's up to and going to be up to. Follow Rate Review Share this episode to as many people as possible and please reach out to me, join my newsletter and leave a review, follow the show and keep up with everything that I'm going to be up to by visiting www.craveball337.com thank you for listening and supporting the show. And please be sure to share the website and the show to everybody you know.

00:43:22.030 --> 00:43:27.470
> Curtis Jackson>And Larry, thank you for all that you do and your impact on society. And thank you for joining me.

00:43:28.190 --> 00:43:35.150
> Larry Kesslin>My pleasure. Curveball, you are a light. I can feel your energy from here and I appreciate how you walk on this planet. Thank you.

00:43:35.630 --> 00:43:48.440
> Curtis Jackson>For more information on the Living the Dream with Curveball Podcast, visit www.craveball337.com until next time, keep living the dream.

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Finding Joy Beyond Circumstance: Larry Kesslin's Journey to Purpose and Connection