Aug. 7, 2025
Embracing Resilience: Cyndee Dhali's Journey Through Grief and Growth (Episode 24)
Send us a text Send us a text In this heartfelt episode of Living the Dream with Curveball, we are joined by Cyndee Dhali, a resilient writer and speaker who shares her profound journey through adversity. Cyndee opens up about her experiences with rejection, illness, and loss, including the unexpected passing of her husband and the challenges of navigating grief. She emphasizes the importance of creating space for emotions and honoring the memories of loved ones while also learning to embrace...
Send us a text
In this heartfelt episode of Living the Dream with Curveball, we are joined by Cyndee Dhali, a resilient writer and speaker who shares her profound journey through adversity. Cyndee opens up about her experiences with rejection, illness, and loss, including the unexpected passing of her husband and the challenges of navigating grief. She emphasizes the importance of creating space for emotions and honoring the memories of loved ones while also learning to embrace life anew. With insights on the personal nature of grief and the healing power of writing, Cyndee encourages listeners to reconnect with themselves and find strength in vulnerability. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that highlights the beauty of resilience and the transformative power of love.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Welcome to the Living the Dream podcast with Curveball. if you believe you can achieve.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Welcome to the Living the Dream with Curveball podcast, a show where I interview guests that, teach, motivate, and inspire. Today, I. I am joined by Cindy Dalai.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>She's going to be talking about her life. You know, she's faced things like rejection, ostracization, illnesses, disownment, all that. And she's going to be talking about, you know, how you can fully accept life and be what you're meant to be. So we're going to be talking to her about her story and everything that she's up to. So, Cindy, thank you for joining me.
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> Cindy Dalai>Thank you very much for having me.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Curtis, why don't you start off by telling everybody a little bit about yourself.
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> Cindy Dalai>well, first, I live in a small country in the Caribbean, Trinidad and Tobago. And, I was. Well, I had many roles in life.
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> Cindy Dalai>I was a child, I was a student, I was a teacher, I was a wife, I was a mother. I mean, I still am, but these are the rules. I played, I was a patient, I was a counselor, I was a widow. And now I am a writer and a poet and a speaker.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Okay, well, you know, just kind of run it. You were talking in your bio, you know, about your life, how you face, you know, different situations like rejection, illnesses and stuff like that. Kind of tell the listeners about that.
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> Cindy Dalai>Well, I think most of us growing up, we face a lot of difficulties and struggles and things that come up in life. And in my case is that I came from a really traditional religious background, and I didn't quite fit in with my way of thinking, with how I saw the world.
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> Cindy Dalai>So I got a lot of criticism and rejection. And then I decided to marry outside of my religion to somebody who I wanted to get married. And I was disowned and ostracized. And then, well, it was a struggle. My husband and I, we worked really hard together. We did things.
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> Cindy Dalai>And then I got ill. Well, my body got ill, actually. And I went through four years in a fog not being able to walk. I was in a wheelchair for 11 years. Then I'm allergic to all medication, and I got a, lot of illnesses affected my body, and I flatlined a few times and didn't expect me really to come back from what I went through, but I did.
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> Cindy Dalai>And then my husband died unexpectedly after a short illness on Christmas Eve, actually. And, that was a surprise for every. And then he had to readjust to life. And then I had to struggle to try to be myself.
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> Cindy Dalai>And I didn't like being a burden to anybody because I've always been very independent, and I find my way through everything. And then I asked God and I said, listen, I don't want to be in a wheelchair anymore because I don't want to be a burden to my children, because they're fantastic children.
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> Cindy Dalai>but they have their own lives, and they're both married. And I started trying to walk, and I began to walk again, and now I can walk and I can do everything all by myself.
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> Cindy Dalai>And, sometimes things in life hits you at different points. And you have to learn sometimes that what happens is not really meant to keep you down. It's meant to open your eyes so that you can see the wider picture of life.
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> Cindy Dalai>And everything I've been through and every struggle I've ever faced in life, I've learned that I got something from it. Yes, I got pain. Yes, I got anguish. Yes, I lost people.
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> Cindy Dalai>But at the same time, I also learned to see it as teaching me something and helping to build me into a better person and a stronger person and helping me see where I fall short also as a person.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Okay, well. Well, with all that you went through, you know, what did you do or how did you deal with the grief and loss? You know, just kind of walk the listeners through that.
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> Cindy Dalai>Okay, well, first of all, grief, and yours is very personal to everybody. I can't tell you, okay, this is how it's going to be. You'll give you a set guideline of, well, you're going to face this person, you're going to face that, and you could face the other, because it doesn't work like that. Grief is personal. It's messy, it's emotional.
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> Cindy Dalai>It affects all parts of you. And when I first suffered grief, soon after, like, I got some feedback which was not very nice because somebody asked me, why didn't you die instead?
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> Cindy Dalai>Because. And, my response was, I don't know. You're gonna have to ask God about that, because I never asked him why I am still here.
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> Cindy Dalai>And that was one part of it I had to deal with. And then, you know, you try to come to terms with the fluctuation in emotions, because sometimes you think, okay, I'm doing okay.
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> Cindy Dalai>and I've been through things before, and I can step forward, and then everything keeps going in a spiral, and you get hit by a little thing. You might hear a song, you might live in the same place, and you look around and you see things, and everything reminds you of what you had or what is missing from your life right now.
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> Cindy Dalai>And remember, grief doesn't just come with losing, like somebody dying or passing away. Grief also comes with a separation, a divorce. Grief also comes with, like, loss of friendship. Even when you lose a job, you do suffer grief to a certain extent. You lose a pet.
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> Cindy Dalai>Even if you have to relocate from a place, you do suffer grief and loss because you do feel the loss of what you're familiar with and, what you knew in your life as, a constant.
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> Cindy Dalai>And with the grief came a lot of turmoil and anguish. And you try to be there. Well, at least I try to be there for everybody and, you know, to be strong and supportive and manage what I had to manage. Because you still have responsibilities.
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> Cindy Dalai>If you, if you had young children, you still have to look after them. You still have, like, to see if you're working, you had a, you still have to go to work. You still had to manage a lot of stuff. And it gets hard and especially nighttime when you're there and you're in the silence, you. That's when your mind tends to go down the spiral.
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> Cindy Dalai>And I thought I was managing because given all the things that had happened in my life before, you know, with the illness and ostracism and being criticized, so being different and speaking my mind and having a different perspective of life, I thought I was managing. And then in December, October 2023, something happened. And I just felt myself spiraling because I found that it was like I had just coped with the surface of it and I needed to really look at myself and come to grips and come to agreement. While I accepted that this person was no longer there, I had to agree with myself that this loss was there and that this is how life is now. Because whereas before there were, we are you and a me, now there's just me.
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> Cindy Dalai>And I have to learn to create space around that grief and that loss that I was feeling. Because you won't forget if something is missing from your life or if someone dies.
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> Cindy Dalai>You can. You can't forget it because you have your memories that you carry inside of you. No matter what the memories where you carry them inside of you, and, they will crop up at all times.
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> Cindy Dalai>And so you have to learn to create space around it in the sense that whilst you hold and you honor the memories of the person or what is absent in your life now, you have to learn to look and say, okay, I am still here. I don't know why I'm still here. And as emotions come up, you have to learn to deal with them.
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> Cindy Dalai>And you have to give yourself space to breathe also, and said, okay, this is where I am. this is my reality. I can look around and I can see that this is where I am.
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> Cindy Dalai>Something is missing from my life and I have to agree with it. And I have to realize that I still have to get up, I still have things to do, but it doesn't mean that I have to live in this prison of just feeling that loss.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Okay, well, I know that you've been on some pretty big shows, you know, spreading your message and helping people. So kind of, kind of talk to the listeners about that, you know. So, you're definitely, you know, qualified to be speaking on this topic.
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> Cindy Dalai>Yeah, well, when you speak about loss, we think in terms of an absence.
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> Cindy Dalai>And, it's very hard when you go through a loss to get your foundation back again because this was something that you had, was a constant in your life.
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> Cindy Dalai>So there are things that you can actually do. You can stop and listen. It's quite all right to cry. It's quite all right to lose it. It's quite all right to say, I don't want to do this.
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> Cindy Dalai>And, when questions, come up and say, why did this have to happen to me? You know, what did I do to deserve it? You know, I don't want to feel this pain, I don't want to go through this.
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> Cindy Dalai>When is this ever going to stop? It's quite right to feel those things because you formed an attachment and you had a connection to someone. And what we have to realize is that love is the strongest and bravest thing that you can do in your life. It is not jumping, doing 100 foot bungee jumping, or jumping out of a plane. The bravest thing you can do is love someone. Because that is something you give as part of yourself. You are giving part of yourself to someone and you are taking someone as, into part of, as a part of you.
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> Cindy Dalai>And you understand, because we are human, that as you love, you can lose. Whether it's your separation, whether it's through someone passing away, you understand that is a loss. Because life is uncertain and life is impermanence.
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> Cindy Dalai>And when you begin to understand that love is a bravest thing you can actually do, then you begin to see that you gave something and it is okay to feel the absence of that something that you gave, but you still hold it inside of you. And, very often we hear people talk about grief and they say, well, you know, yes, you go and you do this and Counselors are good and going to people and groups and things are very, very good. But when it comes down to it, dealing with what you feel, your loss, it is your loss to deal with.
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> Cindy Dalai>And people, sometimes people might find, well after time passed, they will tell you, listen, I thought you were over that. You know, you should have gotten past that stage, you should be moving on a bit.
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> Cindy Dalai>And you know, you may feel guilty so you keep it inside of you. But you have to acknowledge to yourself that I, what my connection was, is different from what other people connection are. and when I speak and you have to be clear to them that when I speak about someone or if I remember or if I bring up a memory, it's not that I am going through or spinning around or spiraling in the same circle. What I'm doing actually is honoring what I had with this person.
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> Cindy Dalai>So in a sense, when people do tell you that you should be past that, you should say, listen, as I, respect your opinion, I respect mine also.
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> Cindy Dalai>And the fact that these are my emotions, this is my connection to this person. And I want to honor what we had. I want to celebrate the memories that I had with this person. And I'm not spiraling or I am not going into self pity or wallowing. What I'm doing is I'm finding the joy in those memories. And that way you can bring yourself up and sometimes just acknowledging that we had good times, you know, and I went to this place where if you go to a park or if you see something or you say, oh, they love this movie, or they love this song, and you allow yourself to feel that joy and that, and a sense of peace will come eventually. Because what you are doing is you are acknowledging what you had with that person and you are giving them the honor that their presence had in your life.
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> Cindy Dalai>And at the same time you are creating space. When I say create space, many people tell me they don't understand what I'm speaking about. But creating space means the loss remains in you and it's in your memories and it's in your emotions. Creating space means that you step out of where, you are inside of you, in your mind and you begin to look at other things. Maybe you can start walking, do an activity. Maybe you can even start journaling. Maybe you can even start, you know, going out to groups. Maybe you can even start a new hobby.
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> Cindy Dalai>Maybe there was something that you and the person or whoever it is missing wanted to do together or used to do together, you can restart that. And that way you can build new memories.
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> Cindy Dalai>You're not replacing the memories you have. What you're doing is you're expanding your reach. You're expanding yourself. You're opening yourself to more of what life has in it. Because remember, you are still here.
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> Cindy Dalai>And that is how I started writing, actually, because it got to the point where it was overwhelming. And I always wrote in my mind, but I never actually sat down and started writing my poetry, because I love poetry.
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> Cindy Dalai>I never actually started writing. And then when this came up, you know, I just started writing. And, this was like. It also is a form of catastrophe for you when you start doing things in that you treasure what you have, but you give yourself. You allow yourself a chance to step out and to breathe and to see what else life has in store for you.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Speaking of writing, you wrote some books also. So, you know, tell us, tell the listeners about your books, what, they can expect when they read them and where they can get them from.
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> Cindy Dalai>well, the first book I wrote was a poetry book, which. Because poetry is my kind of like my. The first thing that always is in my mind. It is called pieces of me, touch my soul by Cindy.
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> Cindy Dalai>It's available on Amazon. And, the book about grief is called grief is the price you pay for love. Run into the fire, discover me in the ashes by Faye Allian. I wrote that under pseudonymous, but it's Also available on Amazon.com.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Well, talk to us about any upcoming projects that you're working on that listeners need to be aware of.
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> Cindy Dalai>actually, I am working on a new book about what now Life. That's the name of it.
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> Cindy Dalai>It's called what now life? And it talks about the fact that we go through all these struggles, and every time you kind of say, okay, what else is going to happen in my life? What else is going to happen?
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> Cindy Dalai>And it looks at how we can see advantages in our disadvantage and how we can look through new eyes and see how life can be different. Because very often we get so drawn into what we grew up with or what is trending.
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> Cindy Dalai>And, you know, we so want to fit in and be geared towards the current thing. Because everything is moving so fast in life right now, and you get pulled into this way and that way. And no, you're not supposed to think this way or that way is wrong or that was the old way of thinking.
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> Cindy Dalai>And sometimes a lot of people get confused by all the information that is coming at them. You know, like, meditate, use this program, do this course development, do this with regard to building yourself Let.
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> Cindy Dalai>And sometimes your brain gets so full of all the information you get, you wonder, what, now you know what, what should I try?
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> Cindy Dalai>What should I do? And it takes a very simple exercise like breathing because we don't pay a, we don't pay attention to how we breathe.
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> Cindy Dalai>And most of the things you find where you need to center yourself or where you need to find your foundation or to find your sense of contentment and your sense of peace is by you breathe. And it's an unconscious act. But if you spend a few minutes just paying attention to how you breathe in and out and, and focus on just the breathing, that helps a lot. Also, another way that you can help yourself is by writing. And I know a lot of people say, well, they don't like to write or they don't know what to write, but you'd be surprised when you sit down and it, it does take practice and you start trying to say, okay, how am I feeling today? I don't mean this, okay, the same way I would ask you, curtis, how are you feeling today? And you say, okay, I am good, you know, and that's it. But have you ever asked yourself, curtis, Curtis, how are you feeling today? What is going on with you inside? I don't mean your physical body or stuff like that. Ask us if you'll be the same concern as you would ask a friend or a loved one and you'll be surprised because when you connect to yourself and ask yourself in that way, okay, Cindy, how are you feeling today?
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> Cindy Dalai>Oh, a bit nervous, you know, I didn't feel up to doing anything. Why?
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> Cindy Dalai>I just felt this tiredness inside and.
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> Cindy Dalai>Okay. And then you can ask for that yourself, you know, where is this coming from? And stuff like that. And when you begin to sit down and start writing and you write to yourself of yourself and later when you read it back, you begin to pinpoint exactly, okay, this is how I was feeling. And this is where it came from. And maybe I just need to adjust and maybe I just need to go so I don't walk a bit more or take better care of myself or listen to something that I like. Simple things like that.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Throw out your contact info so listeners can keep up with everything that you're up to. You know, any websites or anything like that?
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> Cindy Dalai>Oh yeah, I do have a website for my book called faialian.com them.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Okay, well.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Close us out with some final thoughts. Maybe if that was something I forgot to talk about that you would like to touch on any final thoughts you have for the listeners.
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> Cindy Dalai>You will get a lot of life experiences and you will get a lot of opinions coming to you from everyone else. But what you have to realize is that there's only one you and you alone can determine what your expectations and what your visions and what your hopes and how you want your life to be. Circumstances may be overwhelming, but this should never dictate the person you are, because you are always more. You are never less.
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> Cindy Dalai>that is my thought.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Yeah, you're always more. You are never less.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>Ladies and gentlemen, remember that as you go through the tough times in life. Please be sure to follow Rate Review Share this episode to as many people as possible. Follow us on your favorite podcast app. Visit www.craveballuh337.com for more information on the Living the Dream with Curveball podcast. Thank you for listening and supporting the show, Cindy. Thank you for all that you do and thank you for joining me.
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> Cindy Dalai>Thank you very much for having me, Curtis.
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> Curtis Jackson (also known as DJ Curveball)>For more information on the Living the Dream with Curveball Podcast, visit www.craveball337.com until next time, keep Living the dream.
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