He Deleted Me From Facebook. Twice.
Staci Berkovitz reconnects with a man she'd all but forgotten, three dates and five years ago, and it turns into something real. Until it doesn't. Twice. There's a coach's line that still hasn't let Jen go, and a gut feeling Staci spent weeks trying to talk herself out of. We go there on both topics.
This conversation also covers people-pleasing and what it actually costs to stop, plus why the body knows the truth before the mind will admit it. Staci and Jen dig into what it takes to say the hard thing first, and what's waiting on the other side of that discomfort.
Key Topics & Timestamps
- 04:53 — The 16 Personalities retake: "I'm still the protagonist"
- 07:18 — Jen's coach: "Boy, you think you're awfully f***ing powerful"
- 10:57 — The text that became "a gift of truth"
- 12:31 — What you can and can't control when it's not a match
- 16:56 — The five-years-later reunion with the Swedish pilot
- 21:01 — The drinking, and the first truth moment
- 24:32 — Truth beget truth: what opened when she said the hard thing
- 30:11 — The pilot-and-parachute metaphor for dismissive avoidant patterns
- 31:45 — Three non-negotiables, and deciding whether to get back on the plane
- 38:21 — What it cost her to tell the truth
- 40:49 — What she gained: trusting the body over the mind
- 44:48 — Intuition formed before language
Top Quotes
- "This is a gift of truth." — Staci
- "Boy, you think you're awfully fucking powerful." — Jen, quoting her coach
- "Thank you, body. I'm so sorry it wasn't listening." — Staci
- "It is so profoundly unkind to not tell the truth." — Jen, quoting her mediator friend
- "At the end of the day, is there anything more valuable than our own peace?" — Staci
Resources Mentioned
- The 16 Personalities test (free, online, Myers-Briggs based)
- Martha Beck's book on the essential self — Jen names it as Finding Your Own North Star
- Dismissive avoidant attachment style, referenced by Staci
Guest Bio:
Staci Berkovitz is an Integrative Corporate Health Coach. Staci comes equipped with a wealth of wellness experience and education. She is a National Board-Certified Health Coach, TEDx Speaker, Best-Selling Author, Global Presenter, Certified Integrative Somatic Practitioner, Certified Meditation Leader, Certified Mindfulness for Kids Instructor, Certified Positive Psychology Coach, Certified Laughter Yoga Leader, and certified in Zumba, Stretch, and Yoga.
About Jen Oliver:
Jen Oliver is a speaker, podcaster, and communications coach - equipping people to speak with greater impact and presence. Whether you are speaking on stage, promoting your brand, or voicing your needs in a relationship - communicating with your truest voice and cultivating human connection with your audience is the key to influence. Jen coaches individuals privately and within her Signature group programs - in addition to delivering workshops as a guest expert in a variety of settings.
Jen serves as a 4-season Executive Producer, Director of Curation, and Speaker Coach for TEDxFolsom. She is a committed force behind WomanSpeak™ - an internationally recognized body of work teaching the art and soul of public speaking. Jen is on a mission to support 1 million women as they speak with uncommon levels of freedom and confidence. Tap into more at
email: jen@REALjenoliver.com
podcast website: ListenForREAL.com
website: REALJenOliver.com
If you believe conversations like these belong in the world, please subscribe, rate & review this podcast - and even better, share it with someone else as a REAL conversation starter. Subscribe to all things Jen at REALJenOliver.
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