Priscilla Shirer on the Success Habit You Can’t Afford to Miss

0:01 Any opportunity you get to position yourself around the person with the healthy marriage, the person who's content in their life, the person who is elite in their field whatever the field is business, ministry, whatever man get up under them, be the number two. Be proud that you're the number two and just watch and absorb everything God has for you. Well, I want to welcome you to the Lead to Win podcast. We're here again joined by, as always, with Pastor Jeff and then today's very special guest, priscilla Shire. You and your husband, jerry, lead Going Beyond Ministries and, as you said, also busy raising kids and building the family, and so we're glad to have you here with us and we're trying to help you win in the areas of life that matter most.

0:46 So, pastor Jeff, I know you're excited to have Priscilla here with us and to just jump into it. Priscilla's amazing she is. Thank y'all for having me. She really is. And I think you came to our church way back. We're in a different season now with campuses and our building, but you came so graciously. And I've even come with my dad just like tagging along when other people come, I just kind of tag along. We love y'all's church. That is such a funny story because it was in the middle of COVID. It was in the middle of COVID. It was my dad's first time in a building with people and I called him during the day and I was like there's a lot of people there and I was like there's a lot of people there. And I was like I'll let you just slip in. He's like no, I want to come in the service.

1:27 And he got in there and I'll never forget. The lights came up and the room was packed. It was packed. Your dad said y'all don't believe in COVID. Yeah, he was like y'all must not have it out here in Keller because we're not the same city but it's a long way apart from where we live About an hour apart or so About an hour or so, and so you've come a few times and spoken. Of course I deeply respect you and your family. We feel the same about you guys. We love you so much, and so I have this podcast, really, and it's made up of primarily people growing in leadership, really, and it's made up of primarily people growing in leadership, and there's ministry people and people who come to get resources.

2:11 I have a passion for ministry leaders and pastors and leaders in general to serve people well and to take care of people. God loves people and so I think the concept of winning we live in a world today that the end justifies the means right. So if I get that or get this, then I'm winning. But we all have a scoreboard and the worst thing in life is not to have less points, it's to light it up and realize you played the wrong game, which I deeply respect about you and Jerry, and just you know your passion for family and your passion for things that are going to matter when we all are at the end of this. You know, my wife having an opportunity to be with your mom.

2:53 That's always another story we tell about your family is they got to sit together in a special thing and that was the highlight for her right. It was just my wife's kind of wired that way. She's not really into all the whatever and just being with your mom and listening and talking. So I thought about an area you could really impart to us that you have helped. In fact, when I shared it with you, you were like really, I mean, I'm not exaggerating, I think you have inspired us all to win with the word Okay so so I want to talk about. Let's talk about first of all, why is that? I don't want to assume everybody listening understands how important that is.

3:36 So I mean you have people that are trying to grow in their business realm or their family parenting. Why is the word? If I might ask that, one basic question why is it important? It's important because everything is changing around you, whether again, you're in business or ministry, just life, everything's shifting. Everything's changing All the stuff we think we can count on one day. You wake up the next day and realize, goodness gracious, that thing either has disappointed or it's just shifted in shape or dynamic in a way that surprises you, takes you off guard. So you better have an anchor, and the unchangeable thing is the Word of God.

4:18 That's right. So I think that I have to give tribute not I think I know I have to give tribute to my parents. In that regard, I saw parents and now as a grownup, I know the rarity of what I saw and that was parents who actually loved God. They weren't playing church, they weren't just reading a verse a day to keep the devil away. It wasn't a show. They believed that the anchor they needed for themselves and for their family and their parenting and the building of business and in ministry, that the anchor they needed was the Word of God. So it permeated every part of our life. So I came to value it because it wasn't an addendum, it was just a part of the regular rhythms of life.

4:59 I think, a lot of people starting out, even in ministry. Today I'm around a lot of young ministry couples and my wife said something that I've heard several of them quoting you don't typically leave the church, leave Jesus, leave ministry life because of what happens at the church house. It's based on what happens at your house most of the time. Totally and witnessing integrity matters, it does, yes. That people actually are living this thing, they actually believe in the Word of God, they actually have a friendship with the Lord. And to go back to answer your question even more specifically, when people are going through hard things, you know whether or not they have that anchor.

5:44 When the storms of life come, you know if their house is built on sand or if their house is built on rock. And you mentioned my mom earlier when she was struggling with cancer and then eventually went to heaven. At the exact same time there were two other older women in my life who were going through hard things like that. All of them, independently of what another, said to me. If I didn't have this anchor, if I didn't already have a thing that I had going on with Jesus before the storm hit, before I was struggling with this issue, I don't know what I would do. It held them steady, kept them filled with a sense of hope and joy. They knew this wasn't their home.

6:25 They knew there was something more to keep their eyes fixed on. That's because they had that anchor of the Word of God. So I've come to appreciate more now the older and older I get the importance of having a relationship with God through the scriptures. It's an anchor Totally, it's an unfailing anchor. I think we're seeing some statistical trends, that engagement with the word. I think we're. I just recently was with a group of pastors that we're actually seeing Some positive things. I mean, for 25 years we were kind of in a negative sort of deficit with church. Like people attending church, people engaging with the word, like we're seeing something happen here right now.

7:08 Agreed, there's this uptick of you know, some call it revival or whatever. I mean it's like there's this uptick. But I think in general, if I sit in settings of higher education recently finished my doctorate sitting in there people asking questions about discipleship. So even though we're seeing positive things, I think churches are asking questions are we making disciples? I think the average person is somewhat, a little bit intimidated by growing in the Word. I think there's parents listening out a little bit intimidated by growing in the word. I think there's parents listening out there going. I want my kids to receive from the word. That's why I like a lot of your Bible studies. I meet people all the time they're going through it.

7:49 I'm like, yes, it's just any type of thing that helps people engage. I know it sounds like a big question. You're kind of preaching questions. That's great. What are just some practicals? Why is it difficult? I want to win in this area, but it seems to be for a lot of people like a barrier. Why is it a block? What's the block? There are so many things that just went right in my head while you were asking that. But one of the main things I keep coming back to is because the enemy wants it to appear so complicated and so intimidating that you won't broach it, that you won't come to it with just an open heart and pray like the psalmist did in Psalm 119, open up my eyes so that I can see wonderful things in your law, which actually puts the responsibility back on the Lord to do what sometimes we're shouldering when we come to the scriptures.

8:42 I gotta read it this way. I have to make sure it's in. Just come to the scripture saying Lord, what I actually want is to know you. Right, I wanna know you. So, lord, I'm gonna open up the book you gave me as a love letter. Same thing with your kids. While we're raising kids, we can make it so complicated, which I am guilty of. I had to have again older, wiser people in my life who kind of let me off the hook. Priscilla, you're making this too complicated. Devotional time doesn't have to be this set agenda which I don't know what your kids were doing when they were little but my three were not sitting still while I took them didactically and expositionally through with three points and a conclusion. Nope If we make it for 60 good seconds through this one line and you tell me something you saw and you tell me something you saw in the scripture, that's a win, yeah, yeah.

9:28 Or praying Lord, would you give me organic opportunities where my kid asks a question that they don't even know is shimmering with spiritual insight? That's great An opportunity for me to introduce a spiritual principle to them right before bedtime or right in the middle of a crazy conversation about what happened in school. But there's a question they ask, and give me the wisdom and discernment to see the opportunity that is embedded in the regular rhythms of life, with this coworker, with my kid, with my spouse in the workplace. Lord, just awaken me to the opportunities I have. To bring your word to bear in the regular rhythms of life. The Lord will honor that. As you're talking, I kept thinking of the Deuteronomy, right when you walk along the path when you lay down, and it's part of the journey too.

10:14 Maybe there's some set, but I kept thinking of what you were doing with your kids. It's like this is part of life, and so we're just when we walk, when we talk, we're bringing this into play. But it's like you said, from those wise voices. You would already have had to have that word in you if you're going to be able to respond to where the Lord's leading you in that conversation. If you'd have tried in that moment to cram and figure out exactly what to say, it wouldn't have been enough. Yeah, I hear you saying it's really more relational than it is informational. I think people get so caught up on what if I don't understand these concepts? But really, like you said, just come with an open heart of Lord. Will you speak to me through your word? One of the things we know is people want this, even like unbelievers, like if you just poll Americans, two out of three of them said my life would be better if I read the Bible more.

11:02 So there's this intention. What do you think keeps them from actually getting into it, sitting down and opening that word, even just for five? minutes. The priority We've prioritized other things it's never. Any facet of life is really not about not having the time for it. It's that we haven't prioritized what we wanna use our time for. And so until we prioritize the fact that this book is the actual living, breathing word of a holy God, that he wanted that much to speak to me, and he's written it down and then given us the Holy Spirit to illuminate it so that it's pulsating with the fresh breath of God, if we don't value it in that way, if it's just another book on our shelf, we're not gonna prioritize those five minutes.

11:45 And I wanna say this too His grace is sufficient. So I'll give you this example and then lead into the point of what I'm trying to communicate. But after the loss of mom and I mean honestly y'all in a five-year period we lost 10 family members. It is this back-to-back grief. In the middle of that I had a health crisis that sort of just jarred me and Jerry. It just came out of nowhere. So a week to the day after mom's funeral, I was in surgery having the upper left lobe of my entire lung removed. So it was this season of life where we were palmitant with chaos.

12:28 I could not absorb the scriptures in the way I would have liked to. I wasn't sitting down for an hour having a quiet time. I was taking a walk while I was trying to relearn how to catch my breath, literally, and I thought, well, what can I do to keep my relationship with the Lord alive, even though I feel foggy, my heart feels a little bit numb with everything we've been, all this grief. I found this podcast. They're reading the Bible through in a year and while I walked for 15 minutes every day, I just listened to it. There wasn't. I had to take off of myself this pressure that quiet time has to look like this A certain way Nope.

13:09 His grace is sufficient. Give him what you got. He'll take care of the rest. He's got you. So to relax, I think to answer your question we just need to relax with God's word and know that his grace is sufficient for the five minutes you've got. You give him that. He's going to multiply that and give you back more than you could ever imagine so good, so good. I love that. And there's so many tools today right Totally. I grew up in a house. My parents were first generation Christians. Okay, so they had lived in homes not ruling by the word of God. Yeah, so at our house it was as the standard. My dad would hold it over his head Come on, I'm under this. He wasn't playing with you.

13:49 He wasn't playing. He wasn't playing with you His favorite phrase was the word said. The word said yeah, when you get a little bit older, you're like that's pretty good advice, it's true, but I'm the same way, like I've learned. Now there's, like you said, I'll listen to it or I'll play something, or my daughters and I went through this little Bible reading plan on an app that they found that was creative. So I mean, I think there's just so many ways to engage. I mean, the principle is just you got to engage. Absolutely, you just got to get what you can get. When my three boys were little, I would put a scripture verse on a three by five card. Five or six of them the same verse or two and I'd put them where I was gonna wash dishes tape, one right there where I was gonna fold laundry dashboard of the car.

14:37 And for one week all I did was just let myself run into that verse and just say Lord, would you inscribe that on my heart? Would you speak to me through that one verse right there? Will you show me how that's supposed to intersect with decisions I don't even know I'm gonna have to make yet? But you and your sovereignty are preparing me in advance. So His grace was even sufficient for that three by five. It didn't have to look like a seminary class. It's true, it's just. I'm gonna value your word to the best I can, Please know. There have been valley seasons where I've been like you know what I could have done better. I did not meet with the Lord in the way I should. So it's not been this perfect, linear relationship with the scriptures, but I'm grateful that His grace has been sufficient for that too, it's so good.

15:17 Let me ask you this, as both of you, you're getting ready to preach in just a minute, in just a few minutes. We're having a session. You preached last night, so both of you regularly communicating. So for leaders and pastors out there who are watching this, talk for us a minute about the difference between I'm studying the Word because I got to bring a Word to a group of people and I'm studying the word because I'm a follower of Jesus and my own soul needs to be refreshed. Yeah, that's so good. You go first. I'm wanting to know your answer. I think there is also people that start teaching Sunday school class or even have kids right. So I think we try to compartmentalize a lot.

15:58 You know what I mean. Like I think you know my wife is the person when she eats, nothing touches on her. Oh, really Me. I just kind of mix it all up, it's going the same place. You know what I mean? It's just going goulash by the end, you know, and so I think God knows me. So it's like I'm like you. It's like the longer I walk with the Lord. There's grace there because he wants to speak to other people. So I'm not necessarily totally compartmentalizing all the time because I think the best communicators you know last night I spoke about I wasn't the smartest, the most revelatory, but I just said I can be a great pastor and when I, when I would, when I would get up when I would get up and speak.

16:45 I would, you know, some people have signs back there Thank you for choosing me. I would always hear the Holy spirit say Jeff, just make sure they know how much I love them. That's awesome. I just want them to know. So for me, them to know I love them, so for me it's like I don't separate it as much and so I just I believe-. You're preaching out of your life. You're preaching out of your life. You're preaching out of your person. You are the message you are. So I think that's okay. But I do think there's a reason for me. I'll go through a psalm, or that's really for me personally. I'll find a way to develop some type of reading plan that is really more devotional for me.

17:26 But I don't know. I guess for me the longer I've walked with the Lord it's a little more dynamic. I understand that. If that makes sense, it does. It does Absolutely and similarly. I think my approach to study and my devotional life with the Lord is similar in some instances. For me, though sometimes no, most of the time message preparation is hard, but I think that people maybe see the finished product of whatever prep I've done and I'm teaching it and it looks like it was easy. It is a killer for me. Message prep has always. It's been the thing that if I don't stay vigilant, I'll be so discouraged about the toil of prep.

18:09 And. I'm talking about wanting it to be packaged in a way that is communicated in a memorable way, that they know what I said, they know what the scripture is saying and they can take it home and not just say maybe they enjoyed it or there was a story she told, but they actually know what God was saying to them. So to package that requires an effort on my part, that oftentimes those two then become separate. That my devotional experience with that passage. I'm just reading it through, praying and asking the Lord while I walk during the day. Lord, what is it you want for me to convict and challenge me? How am I supposed to line my life up, my attitude up, my behavior up? In what ways am I out of alignment with that?

18:51 Then, when I might come back to that exact same passage and I want to communicate it to this group, I am looking at it far more analytically. I'm looking to see what the progression of thoughts are there that still lead me back to the main point. I don't want to make eight points. I want to make one point and reiterate it, maybe four or five different ways, to make sure I'm communicating clearly. Sometimes that becomes a separate process just because for me, it can be arduous, it can be tedious. For me, Very arduous. I mean, I think you generally have this impression from the Lord and if you have the word in you, you may even have a truth that you know is scriptural, because there's some people get a little hyped up on this too.

19:37 You know it's like you have to start with the word. Well, all truth is God's truth. So you may have a truth that's been applicable, that then you go to scripture to align that right. But we're still teaching from the word. So sometimes I'll even just have an impression, a principle, a God character-based principle, that then I begin to search the word and see that it's always easier if you find it in the word, as you're discovering, but still, either way, it's still God's truth, but it's still. The hardest thing is, like you said, getting practical things like the points. Those are the hardest things for me, sometimes there's a rhythm.

20:17 There's a rhythm to what I'm saying that matters, you know what? I mean, and that just might be because I'm black. I need there to be a little cadence in that. So I got you and I'm like how many times can I preach? what are three things that start with P? What is it about the letter P? Yeah, yeah, it seems like it's always one of the right. The alliteration, you know, is a cadence that just matters to me. And that can be the hardest part sometimes and then you also illustratively right. Yeah. You know everything in life for a communicator is an illustration. Your kids are always like that. Totally. That's why the Lord gave you to me. Yes, you are the illustration. Yes, yes, yes, you are the illustration? Yes, true, I'm not happy that you did that, but I'm happy that you did that because it's going in the message.

21:01 Totally yes, exactly, it's all for the kids, yeah it happened. Well, I want to thank you for being so honest, of letting us into that process, and I want to thank both of you, because when you're communicating, there's an aspect where your gift will take you so far, but when you're stopping with, I'm gonna go to the outcome. What do I want the end result to be? Not just that, oh, that was an amazing message. Or oh, that was powerful, but I know what you asked me to do and I feel the inspiration to go do it. So thank you for both of you for thinking and leading that way, because I think there's a big difference between somebody going to an environment and hearing like, well, that was a great message, but no, I feel a conviction from God to actually go do something, because I think sometimes you can assume that's happening, but that can be lost.

21:48 Well, that's what makes you, Priscilla, so amazing, is there's the inspirational component. But you're also saying I'm struggling through the application, I don't want them just to leave inspired. I want them to understand how to take this and that would be my counsel to a lot of people is the teacher's goal is not for everybody to leave and be impressed with the teacher, the goal is for them to leave and be impressed with. Oh, I can own that, totally, totally. It's like John the Baptist. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you but it's like John the Baptist, maybe chapter one or chapter two but he sees Jesus and he points to him and says behold the Lamb of God. And then the next line says and the disciples, john's disciples that were with him, his students, they heard John and left John to follow Jesus.

22:32 That, to me, is the goal. If you want more of me, we've missed the whole point here, the goal is to so present Jesus to you that after we leave this conference, this convention, this event, this service man, you want to know in more depth who this Lord is that was presented to you on that day. That's my heartbeat for ministry. It's the goal of ministry. Just point out, jesus. But whether it's a parent, to just state the obvious, whether it's a parent with a child, whether it's a Sunday school teacher, whether it's a communicator, it's more challenging today. I mean, you started by saying things are shifting in culture.

23:13 There's so many inputs. I think we have to work harder at communicating. Asking for God's grace, I'm finding people have to have an experience. It's even more important that the Holy Spirit, there's an experiential nature to this engagement. Your child, depending on His grace, his spirit, because you're working through. I mean, when your dad started preaching, they didn't really listen to anybody but him. Right, that's the only place they I mean they have their school teacher. They're this and they go listen to their pastor. Yeah, well, when you now are speaking, there's yeah inundated with information Right, and they're trained.

23:58 Their attention span's different. I'm finishing up my doctorate on this and one of the things we know is the average person the average person will unlock their phone or check their phone 300 times a day, which is roughly about three and a half minutes. So while they're listening to you, the people that we're preaching and communicating to are flipping through, because they're used to taking in information. Now we watch movies, we watch TV shows, but now they're getting TikTok videos and they're used to constant new 10, 20, 30. They're watching shorts. So it's changing the way they're perceiving, they're watching and they're listening. So this is all the communicator's dilemma of how are you going to reach that audience as things are changing? You've done such an amazing job inspiring us.

24:40 Your resources are amazing. Every time I hear you preach, I'm inspired and I think it's just to me. You're one of the elite communicators in the body of Christ. I want you to know that You're inspired. It's amazing, that's encouraging. But I think I want to ask you a different question, okay, Cause we're talking about winning right? We're talking about so what everybody? Why do they tune into podcasts? It's like I want to hear about their story. I want to tie it to my story, I want to try to make sense of where my place is in this journey, and I always love to ask this Okay, so, so what would you say to Priscilla at 20 or and it may, hey, I affirm that, stay on that track.

25:21 Or what was it that you would say? I wish I would have known this. What would somebody out there who would think if I were in your spot? but you're like no, wait a minute but you didn't go down the road, I went down. That's always a great question, because I think we learn a lot from other people's journey. Oh, I, do I totally get it I appreciate that question so much. Two things that come to my mind. The first is I would say to my 20-year-old self girl, relax, that's what I would say. I would say this part of the journey right here, this little piece that feels disappointing or disjointed, or you just feel like Lord, why?

26:04 Why am I experiencing that heartache or that trouble, or my career's not popping off the way that I thought it would? Because at the time ministry wasn't even in my mind. I was in school for an entirely different reason. I was walking down that path and the doors kept closing. It was hard going, insecurity about that. What's wrong with me that this is not working out? If I could look back I would say girl, relax, all this is part of the story and you don't know until you look back and you go goodness gracious, that piece of the puzzle wasn't random, I wasn't off course, that was part of the course. So if we relax into it, what that means is we're going to milk each moment for what's in it, instead of looking back and wishing we had talked to that person more, gotten the insight from that individual, more, met the people around us, just milked everything out of that piece of the journey because we were looking forward and wanting to get out of that.

26:56 So I would say, girl, relax. The second thing I would say is the opportunities that you have, which I will affirm that I did this and I'm grateful, I guess, that I did the opportunities. I had to intentionally position myself around people that had the life I wanted, and I mean that in terms of. There were women that were 10 years, my senior, single women who were content in their single life, enjoying their life, entrepreneurs, building business in ministry. And man, when they'd have me come alongside them just like, let's go out for lunch, my 16-year-old self and I would do that. Oh my gosh, watching them live their life. It informed me just because I was with them.

27:38 It's placed value on me or Anne Gramlott saying to me hey, come with me for a few years and just be here oh my gosh, Emcee this little thing or just sit here and do a thing with me being with her in a green room, life-changing Not because I was all up in it, but because I was just a fly on the wall watching what integrity looked like in a green room or watching Ms Anne preached 20,000 people in an arena. I had no idea that had anything to do with my life in the future, but just being around women that were doing the thing. Any opportunity you get to position yourself around the person with the healthy marriage, the person who's content in their life, the person who is elite in their field whatever the field is business, ministry, whatever man get up under them, be the number two.

28:25 Be proud that you're the number two and just watch and absorb everything God has for you there. That's so rich, that is so powerful, that is so powerful yeah. That's what you say all the time. You say you don't want what they have. You want to think how they think you want, how they think. It's just so powerful. Most of the time in our culture we're thinking about the it, we're thinking about the what God's. Usually, when you read the word, it's mostly about the who. His provision many times comes through those people. Totally. That impartation, that comes with that Now my 20-year-old self, I would like to tell myself to relax.

29:11 I don't know if I would have the capacity to do it but at least I would tell myself. You know what I mean. Some of that comes with youthfulness, some of it comes with living life. But at least I would tell myself you know what I mean. Some of that comes with youthfulness, some of it comes with living life. But I totally agree, you just want to tell people. I mean, I was just ministering to a couple today. They went through something unexpected, they're crying and sometimes ministry is just saying it's going to be okay. Yeah, the encouragement, we're going to get there, totally, we're going to make it there. Yeah Well, I just want to tell you we love you. Yes, we celebrate you. And I thank you for being on this today Absolutely Just, encouraging people. Grateful. Well, I want to thank both of you guys. It's been so rich and so practical.

29:51 I hope you guys took notes and got a lot out of that and