How to Leave a Legacy

0:01 Jesus said it like this what's done in secret will be shouted from the rooftops. I called it the Bill Clinton, Mother Teresa Prince. Both of their private life got exposed. One became a sinner, the other became a saint. And with us today, we have Pastor Jacob Aranza. I affectionately call him Paw Paw because he pastors Pastor Steve, and he and Pastor Jim have a challenging job of pastoring us. And so it's it's it's such a joy and a privilege for me to share you, Pastor Jacob, with everyone. We've walked together over 25 years, and we were talking recently about how you know a lot of people have friendships, they have connections, but today to really have covenant relationships, I mean, I I've been there with you in your most challenging valleys.

1:00 I I know we want to maybe talk some about some of the challenges you've had along the way, but just being able to be a support and an encouragement, but there's no way what God's doing in my life would be happening without Him bringing you into my life. And uh you are a great husband, a great father. You're always speaking to us about what matters most. I I know when I talk to you, you're gonna celebrate, you know, the victories, but then you're gonna always talk about things of substance. And really, that's what the Lead to Win podcast really is. The word win is is really it's it's around this theme. You can have a scoreboard with a lot of points and realize you are playing the wrong game.

1:45 I want us to spend a few moments, you know, talking about what is winning. Maybe you might start just by talking about our relationship, and you're here with our team today. We're sharing this with other leaders, but talk a little bit about our relationship. Yeah. Well, when I met you, you weren't young, slim, and trim like you are. I remember just, first of all, the incredible uh joy. You, you know, there's uh there's a scripture that talks about the sincerity uh of faith. And um, you know, there's a lot of people that that are called to do what you and I do, and because of that, you're in front of a lot of people.

2:27 Yeah. And oftentimes you're tempted to take the insecurities and the wounds of your past and try to cloak them with some things now because a lot of your success might be from running from what you came from. Right. Instead of who you called to become. And one of the things that I've always, always, always, always appreciated about you, Pastor Jeff, is your sincerity. And the word sincere, the Latin word sin means without. So if I was going to a Mexican restaurant and I didn't want cheese, I'd say sin queso. Without, without, without, without which you wouldn't say. Which I would never do. That would be blasphemy from a Mexican at a Mexican restaurant.

3:07 Because as you know, God made Mexicans and Mexicans made Mexican food, let us all worship. Yes. And you live in South Louisiana, so it's Mexican food, add cages and but everything I eat is Mexican food. Even when I start is when I finish. And and so so when when during biblical times when they would make granite or marble, if it cracked, it would lose a lot of its value. Yeah. So they would put colored wax in it. So when something was perfect with no cracks, they would write on the bottom sincere, which meant without cracks.

3:47 And one of the greatest things I've appreciated about you and our our relationship of knowing you over 25 years is just you're you. You're really good at being you. Nothing that's ever happened to you has ever changed you. You've always loved God. You've always been that chunky kid wearing husky wranglers from New Diana, and and had a call of God on your life when you were 12 years old and walked in and cried to your mom and said, God's called me to preach. And your daddy said, That's good, but shut up and do your homework, or I'll whoop you. That's true. And and that that has never changed.

4:29 Today we're gonna talk about success, and and one of the things I know, I've worked with Super Bowl winning coaches, uh, you know, national championship winning coaches, multi-billionaires, as well as a lot of people struggle with addiction and drugs. Right. And it's very hard to be successful at being successful. Yeah. That's such a good phrase because we're we're we're talking about winning. What is winning? How do you know if you've won? And and you saying it's very hard to be successful at being successful. What do you mean by that? Unpack that for a minute. If you don't know who you are, then peripheral success changes who you think you are.

5:13 Yeah. All of us, our our whole life is in five containers. Yeah. That's the first thing that I try to help people with. When when I work with affluent people, my goal is to help them become rich where they're poor. There you go. I stole that phrase by the way. Listen, you can have it. If it's new, it's not true, and if it's true, it's not new. So but but it is first your faith. Yeah. And then your family. Yes. And then your physical health. Yes. And then your friendships, and then your finances, and then planning for your future. But but so many people that have been quote unquote successful have only been successful at one of those things. Right.

5:53 And while we decry and look down on someone who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, we applaud people that are addicted to adrenaline and financial pursuit. Wow. And want to put you in a penthouse and living in vaquero, which is actually a Spanish word, which means cowboy. Cowboy. Make you living like a Texas cowboy. But in reality, you can be poor in the most important areas of your life. And most of the people I work with in that arena of their life exchange their faith, their family, their friendships, their physical health, and even thinking about their future for one thing finances.

6:37 And there are 20 there and a negative 20 everywhere else. And as you know, because you're you're a pastor and you don't know by personal experience, because I know your children, there's no pain like kid pain. Yeah. There is no pain like family pain. And there is no amount of success in this life that will ever replace you being a father that your children love and respect. I want to be the most famous person at my address. Yeah. And there is nothing in the world that will ever replace that. So good. So when I say it's hard to be successful at being successful, I I pastored a coach who probably had the greatest college football team in football history.

7:28 But he lost everything in the process. Yeah. I mean, he lost everything in the process. I still minister to his wife almost every week. Uh I he he lost that. The Bible says a good name is better than gold. Yeah. Because gold's gonna fade. Right. When I when I when I talk about it, I talk about sitting at deathbeds, which I know you've done many times. What they're not talking about is a lot of the things we worry about every day. They're not talking about their 401k, the business deal. They're talking about their relationships, they're talking about the riches of these relationships that matter. I want to I want to take a moment because I don't know that everybody knows your story.

8:13 It's been shared, you know. A lot of people don't know that that you uh, after God radically changed your life, you began speaking in schools, you would go into to cities, you would speak in the schools, then there would be a revival, there would be a meeting, you you you started, you know, you spoke at Promise Keepers, you spoke let me let me give one of your references. You spoke with Billy Graham to a huge crowd. How many people were there the time you spoke with? Well, it was the Georgia Dome, and it was full. The first night speaker was Jimmy Carter, and the last night speaker was Johnny Cash, and the middle speaker was your favorite Paul Paul.

8:54 So huge crowds of people have heard this, but then you you moved into you said you went for it, went from a national expert to a local idiot when I became a pastor in Broussard, Louisiana. In Broussard, Louisiana with cafeteria chairs. 100% just set them up that morning and and and this this whole church leadership thing was all new place for you, right? But sure. You're a real pastor to your community.

9:35 Like you had you, I got from you going to your Bible studies with businessmen that you just invited, and and there's there are people from the community. Some come to your church, some may not. So you you chaplain, which I would say that to leaders, that chaplaining the community is such an inroad. But I want to I want to go back because I don't I don't think everybody listening knows your story. They they see you now you have multiple campuses all over South Louisiana. Um but really look take us all the way back to Houston and tell us your story. Tell us where you came from, tell us why you have such a resolve and a passion for family.

10:19 Right. Well, I was raised in the black ghetto of Houston called Sunnyside until I was nine years old. When I found I wasn't black, I moved to the Mexican ghetto of Houston. That's not a joke, that's true. Yeah. Um and I I remember um in the midst of a lot of turmoil going on in my family, uh, which I'll refer to in a moment, actually, integration began at that time. It was the late 1960s, early 70s, and the environment was very much like it was between 2020 and 2022. Um, very heightened and uh racially, and so what they were going to do is they were gonna bust students from the high-class white schools to the low-class black schools to get an equal education, or vice versa.

11:04 And so at that time, Mexicans were not considered to be Mexicans, they were considered to be white because the Supreme Court said whoever wasn't black was white. My birth certificate actually says I'm white, I don't want to disappoint you. And uh it was it's true. Later on, I found out I was a Mexican-American. Not long after that, I found that it was a Chicano, and then recently I found that I was a Hispanic. So pray for me while I find myself. And in the midst of all of that, my life was in chaos. My parents uh regularly fought. My father was on his way to being married five times. Each woman he married to my mother had been married two or three times until the last one.

11:44 I finally performed the ceremony for the last one. He was 76 and married a white attorney. So, in case you think it's Mexican, most of those women were white. I could be related to you. And and in the midst of all of that, my mom, too, was married and divorced from a man who'd been married seven times. So my my life was chaos. Yeah. Family was not belonging, family was not safety, family was not security, family was not a place where you were loved or you could count on. You grew up in a bar, right? I grew up when my mom and dad got divorced, and uh I I came to Christ in a junior high school where a pastor like you just believed that God could do anything.

12:26 And he claimed my school for Christ in the middle of integration, and a thousand kids gave their life to Christ. Yeah. It was the beginning of what was called the Jesus movement, what we're experiencing now and seeing on college campuses, and we're going to see in high school campuses all across America again as well. Yeah. God began moving and my life was transformed. And the pastor who came and led the revival at our school would send a school bus to pick up kids. Well, when I gave my life to Christ, my dad, my stepmom kicked me out of the house and I moved him with my mom, and she had a bar in the Mexican ghetto of Houston. So every day when I came home from school, I served beer from the time I was 14 till I was 17 years old when my pastor announced that he was moving from from the inner city of Houston to Waco, Texas.

13:15 And I discussed God. Jerusalem on Nebraska. Yeah, baby. And I walked up to him. I mean, I'm 16, 17 years old, my hair's down to here. And I looked at him, I said, Well, Pastor Keith, if you leave, what's gonna happen to me? And he looked at me and he said, Go go tell your mama, you can go with me. I ran to my mom's bar, walked in, she was looking like she always did, hot pants and go-go boots, and said, Mom, Pastor Keith said that he's moving, and if you sign papers, I can go with him. And that became the turning point of my life.

13:56 Not only coming to Christ, but but allowing Christ to live inside of me and for me to be adopted not only by God, but by someone else. Yeah. And and that's why I love to say, Jesus saved my soul, but the church of Jesus saved my life. That's so good. Why am I passionate about the church? I'm here because of the church. When I got saved, and and we went into our church, it was probably 150, 200 white people, average age 60 to 90, who couldn't afford to move from the hood as the neighborhood degenerated. It was like adopt a Mexican hoodlum week. Yeah. And they would bring us clothes and they would bring us cookies and they would support us and stand with us.

14:39 And many of them are in heaven today. I was able to speak to two million students in public schools and use you said it, Billy Graham, Promise Keepers, Croatha, all those different things. They saw what nobody saw. And that is that God would do what he's done and then allow us to be a privileged part of you and Brandy's life, and Pastor Steve and Jennifer and Pastor Jim and so many others that that God has done. But it all began with someone who cared for someone that no one cared for. Brother Keith, just a father's heart. Like, I mean, little churches. Yeah. He's not gonna make the the he didn't trend on Twitter.

15:22 You know what I mean? He doesn't no one knows him on Instagram, but it's faithful people like that that took you in, discipled you. I mean, he was strong too, right? I mean he was strong. Stronger than an acre of garlic. And and to this day, my youngest son, um, I have five sons uh and a daughter, and three of my five sons, one's in heaven, all four of my five children are in ministry, three of them are pastors, and a year ago, two years ago, I had an opportunity to send my 23-year-old son to be mentored by the man who mentored and trained me 50 years ago. That's powerful.

16:03 And and again, you never know what's on the other side of your obedience. So true. You you never know what's on the other side of your yes, or better yet in my case, who's on the other side of your yes. I got a chance to stand uh in front of him. He's 84 about four weeks ago, in front of his church, and to preach and to thank him for everything he did. And then Joseph, my son, who's my parent, got up and he thanked him. And then Haddon, my son, who's a pastor, got up and he thanked him. And all of that happened because of one act of obedience.

16:43 That's so good. So you talk about successful, people don't know him. He's not in many books, he's written a couple of books, he's not well known. Yeah, but many of the people's lives who he's been a part of transforming, many people know, but it wouldn't have happened without him. That success. That's so good. I mean, we have people that lead in schools and businesses, and but but but I would say that today the church a lot of times, you know, people criticize it's it's a group of imperfect people. And so are the are there flaws, are there failures? But what I would say when I was listening to you, it always is the church that goes to that poor area.

17:29 It's always the church when there's Hurricane Katrina that you guys it's the church that shows up, and so the church always rushes in to pain. And so um, it's it's one of those really a sign to unbelievers is why is it that these people have this unconditional love? And it's it's always that, you know? And so I love that. I love the I love that you got to honor him. Obviously, we've seen the inappropriate elevation of people to but but again, anything that's great is counterfeited, but but even honor, what what did you say? What did you say when you were at his church?

18:09 What what what were the things you said, and what what what about that power there to get a chance to honor him? We just you're here, we just had a chance to honor our our pastor, Pastor Jim, 70 years old, 50 years in ministry. Talk a little bit about that for a second, and I want to keep with the story. You know, the honor, um a lot of people say God is God, so he doesn't need anything. That's actually not true. We were made by God and we were made for God. So I I think even just as a parent, you have children and you don't actually want anything from your children, but as I often say to my children, everything costs something, just not always money.

18:57 Right. And there isn't any person that's listening that could ever give their parents back what they've given to them. Let me tell you this. I have six children. You can't give them back the nights of sleep. You can buy a house, okay? You can't give them back the years, you can't give them back the tears, you can't give them back the sleepless nights, you can't give them the worry, the concern, the burdens, the sacrifices, the I'm not gonna get what I need, so I can buy you school shoes. You can't do that, but you can give them something. And that something is called honor. And it's expressed in many different ways. Jesus healed ten people.

19:39 And if you think Jesus doesn't need anything, one guy came back and Jesus said, Where's the other guys? So honor is actually gratitude simply expressed. But what happens is as your parents pour into you, if you imagine two containers, one's empty, one's full, and as they pour. Pour into you throughout the course of your life as they get older, honor is you pouring back into them what they poured into you. So the man who would speak to me when he was dropping me off of my mama's bar and say, God has his hand on your life, Jacob. That's so good. One day God's going to use you. And to be able now to stand back and to pour back into him.

20:25 To pour back into him as he poured into me. What happens at crazy funerals is people didn't pour back. So they try to pour back in a moment what they should have over a season of life. So good. And so, well, what a joy to be able to look at him and say, thank you for telling me God had his hand on my life. Thank you for telling me God was a father to the fatherless. Thank you for telling me when your father and mother forsake you, the Lord will take you up. Thank you for speaking God's dream on my life. Thank you for loving your wife for 60 years and never wavering and not looking at another woman, for being faithful to God, for being faithful to his word, and for making me proud every day of my life that I could call you a father.

21:08 So good. So good. So rich. It's the only commandment that comes with the blessing. That's right. And so it's so good. I want to talk about, I want to talk about you have this spiritual father, which is why spiritual family is such a value to you because of the deep investment there. But then it also put in you, you you broke generational patterns. God broke, Jesus broke them in your life, but you also, as you took that step of obedience, I want you to speak to people out there that are that are that are charting a new course, right? Because there's a lot of young families who say, I want to, I wanna, I wanna, my parents were first generation Christians.

21:53 So my mom walked down a little road and went to vacation Bible school and prayed me into the kingdom and prayed for me this morning, right? So my my parents came together, and when I talk about setting up the word as the authority at your house, my dad's favorite praise, the word says, boy. You know, so it's like but but see they they had lived where something else, something else was the authority, right? So at our house, the word says. So talk to talk to someone out there who says, Well, I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm charting new new territory. I'm I'm going down a new path. So you know, um, first of all, I want to say the grace of God finds you where the grace of God finds you.

22:37 Um you you maybe have gone through a divorce. Maybe you you've had abortions, maybe you've you've done things that if other people knew you'd be very ashamed of morally. So I just want to say that before I say anything else, because God is the only one that can take the dirt of our life and breathe into it and make it like it was always supposed to be that way, because he breathed into us and made us out of dirt from the beginning. Yeah. So good. So I oftentimes when I speak about honoring marriage, one of the things that I say, you know, every probably every third or fourth week is if you're here and you're living together, repent.

23:22 You have a free church and a free preacher. I want to ask you a question. Are you ashamed to give it your last name, or you just don't want the blessings of God on your life? Wow, that's strong. And and out of, I guess every other week somebody walks up, Pastor, we've been living together. You got a free church and a free preacher. Go get a marriage license and come back, we'll marry you anytime, anyplace, anywhere. And we've I mean, literally, people that have been living together, have children, all of that. The grace of God finds you where the grace of God finds you. Right. But because it's the grace of God, it never leaves you there. It never leaves you. It never leaves you. It's impactful. It's always go and sin no more. There's always more on the other side.

24:03 Yes. So I can remember as a nine-year-old kid sitting on my front step. The police come to my house again. My mom and dad were fighting, woke up all of us in the middle of the night, and sitting there, Pastor Jeff, and saying, I don't know how, but one day my kids won't go through this hell. I don't know how.

25:07 Wow, that's a powerful statement. And so the greatest honor of my life is that my children want a marriage like me. I'm the most unlikely person in the whole world to be a marriage expert. I I and as you know, I didn't go to college. I was the only person in my family that graduated from high school out of six children. Um I preached at a lot of colleges. I don't have any degrees. I have guys on our staff that have two PhDs, but I I have a degree in two things knowing God and knowing Michelle Aranza.

25:50 That's good. And that makes me richer than Bill Gates. And that makes me richer than Elon Musk. And that makes me richer than Michael Jordan. Because none of them could accomplish that. I said, it's hard to be successful at being successful. You talked about having winning at the wrong scoreboard. Christian was getting married 13 years ago, and uh he said, Daddy, come with me to the jewelry store. I said, All right. I go to the jewelry store and he tries on different rings and he's looking around. He goes, Hey, Daddy, let me see your ring.

26:30 And I handed him my ring. He said, Where'd you get that? I said, Well, in Waco, Texas, before I got ready to get married, I had$300. And I gave it to a jeweler that was in our church and he made me this ring. He said, Well, Daddy, it's worked pretty good for you for 30 years. Why don't we make a mold out of it and I wear one? Wow. And then Joseph got married eight years ago. And he said, Daddy, that ring you have it worked pretty good for 35 years. And Christians wear it, it's work good on him. It worked good on Christian, it worked good on anybody.

27:12 And today, all my married children have the same ring I do when my daddy was married five times. And by the grace of God and the new foundation in Christ and my identity, I've been married 43 years. So good. It's awesome. That is leaving wealth to your children. So good. Uh I um I've always been an early riser. And so I wake up early and pray. And when you have a bunch of children, as you know, that's the only time you can pray quietly, is if you wake up early. It's not that I'm an early morning person. I don't want you to think I'm that spiritual. It's if if you don't get up before them, you don't pray.

27:55 Yeah. And so I all my children grew up walking into the living room when they were just barely toddlers, and I would just carry them and we would we would walk and pray. Call Christian this morning. Call Joseph this morning. They're doing exactly what they saw. That's success. That's not a degree that's put on the wall. That's a legacy that's written on their heart. I'll tell you what I didn't know when I was a young father.

28:38 I didn't know that my children were in training of how to be godly men and women. And I was the teacher. That the way I spoke to Michelle every day, I was teaching them how to speak to a woman. The way that I allowed them to speak to her, I was teaching them how you speak to a woman. That I was teaching my daughter. Every way that I treated her, every time that I spoke to my wife, how a man should speak to her, how she should be treated, how she should be cared for.

29:28 And they sit Christmas morning as we go around and share whatever we're grateful for, and they look weeping, going, Daddy, how did you, mama, do it? You know, we we can't always determine what we walk through, Pastor Jeff. That's right. We can't. I can't, you can't. We we actually, God knows and we don't. But Jesus said in Matthew chapter 7 that there were two people that built houses. And you you've been to Israel many times, and and you know Israel is primarily sand and rock. And he talked about the man that built his house upon the rock, and you and I know you've been there.

30:11 You that would be a task to chisel out a foundation. It would take a long time, it would be difficult. And then he said, Two men built houses, one built on the rock and the other built on the sand. And then it says, and the storm came. It didn't say Katrina came against the house on the sand. Yeah. And a little drizzle came on the house that was on the rock. It was the same storm, meaning Christians walked through health challenges, children challenges, uh children, the walk economic challenges, well, physical challenges. Same storm. The same storm came, but when it came, the one that was built on the rock stood, and the one that was built on the sand collapsed, the Bible says, and great was its fall.

30:59 They all looked successful till the storm came. I don't get to choose which storms come to me, but I do get to choose whether I have a foundation or not. And then he said, the one who hears these sayings of mine and obeys them will be the one who built his house upon the rock. The key to it is the hearing and then being willing to obey what it says is the is the big key. I think I think a lot of a lot of younger leaders, you know, I mean, just younger people in general, afraid about marriage. I mean, you could have been scared to be married because all the models you you saw. I want to address something though, and that is that you you you're providing so much encouragement and hope.

31:46 How do you win at what matters? How do you still do what it is you're called to do? Right? So there's this narrative. I mean, you're gonna have to sacrifice your family, you're gonna have to, it's just part of what goes with it to do everything you're called to do, then your kids are gonna hate God. I mean, it's just we've had that within ministry. So give us some practicals. Like, how do we steward what it is that God's called us to steward? It always feels heavier. We we talked yesterday about carrying weight in ministry. So you have this stewardship, this calling, and whatever that assignment is. You're taking over this new campus, you're taking over a youth group, you're building a volunteer worship team, you're building a business, you're what you're stepping into the weight of that season.

32:35 How do you build your family, build your marriage when you have these responsibilities? Give us some practice. First, let me start with a mantra that will help you. Okay. You either sacrifice for your children or you sacrifice your children. Period. Because as you and I both know, whether you're in business building from the ground up or in ministry building from the ground up, there's a lot of external apparent sacrifices that must be made. So that that's the given in whatever you're building. That's the given.

33:16 At the same time, you and I know when we're busy. Your children know when we're busy, but we still prioritize them. And they know when we're not busy and we don't prioritize them. There are people that go off to war and they're gone for six and eight and ten months uh in the in the military. I live in South Louisiana. There are people that work 30 and 30. They're gone from their children, you know, 30 days, but they're home 30 days. Oh, yeah. So I think that has to be the overwhelming mantra. You have to know what's important. The first scoreboard is faith.

33:57 Yeah. Because if I keep my faith, if I recognize Christ is living in me and I'm listening to the Holy Spirit, there are people that spend quality time with their children every day, but they'll listen to the Holy Spirit, so they don't know when their children are in trouble. Yeah. Let me give you one of the practical things that I've done, whether I was on the road or home, is I go to bed with my children at night. I pray with them. I don't mean I sleep in bed with them. I go and I make sure the mornings there's a connection, and the evening there's a connection. Trying to be at their bedside, I've I pick from you, from Pastor Jim, I picked that model up.

34:38 Being at their bedside as many nights as you can. They're open, praying with them. That's a very practical thing. That's such a such a powerful thing. And and I ask every time, hey, is there anything you want to tell daddy? You know what they're 99% of the time they say, uh? You just want to walk out there going, I already slap the heck out of you. Do you realize how many parents or how many Mexican kids wish they had a good-looking daddy like me begging you could be living in a double wide in Dussault, Louisiana, and here you are. Okay. And then that one time out of three months ago, yeah, daddy, there is.

35:19 Yeah. And in that moment, it's worth all those times you asked and got no response. It's really good. You knock, you knock, you knock, you knock, you knock, and it seems like no one is answering, and all of a sudden, that one time, all the heavens open up and they begin to open up a part of their heart to you. Teenagers are still trying to figure themselves out. They're not even sure. Right. They're not even sure. You know, Jesus did three things, or Jesus received three things from his father, but I think every one of us needs to give every one of our children. Good. I I've I've talked to a number of parents who've come to me and said, um, hey, Pastor, could could you help me?

36:00 My my child's questioning their identity. And I don't mean identity in Christ, I mean their gender identity. And I always bring them back to Mark and Luke chapter four. Jesus came up out of the water, and before he goes into temptation, he's gonna go face the enemy. That's where he's going. He gets baptized, and God speaks from heaven and says, This is my beloved son in whom I'm well pleased. This is my, he claims him. Right. Beloved son, he names him. Yeah. In whom I'm well pleased, he blesses him. He blesses and affirms, yeah. It is our role every day to name, claim, and bless our children because when they walk out of the door, there is a world trying to tell them who they are.

36:48 When they pick up a phone, there is a world telling them who they are. They need to hear every day and every night, not only from God's word, but from the most significant voices in their life. Right. You don't realize that when you're a young parent. Matter of fact, you know what I used to say? I used to have one prayer before last year. And I'm gonna tell you about last year in a moment. I used to have one prayer. You how many of y'all been to a funeral? Everybody's been to a funeral. Yeah. You know how they have been the hour before it's just a family. You know, you go in, it's just a family. You're the pastor, you go and pray with them and leave the family with them. And I used to say, Lord, when I die, could I just lay down in a casket like this with my Bible over my hand?

37:29 And then my children are gonna come in there and go, Daddy, you were right. We should listen to you. Everything you said was true. Lord, grant me one wish. Let me just wake up for a minute and slap the devil out of them and then lay back down just like this. And then go, did y'all, did you, ah, I could and nobody believed it, but it would be my grant, my wish granted before the Lord. But a year ago, my son, who was away from the Lord for 17 years, the only one, came back to the Lord. And now I don't have to wait for that day because he texts me every day.

38:13 He calls me constantly. Our children call us every day, all day long. It's hard to be romantic when your children call you all day, all day long. Christian had this knack. Some of you who have children understand you have that child. Every time my wife and I want to be romantic, he'd be on the door. He's 38 years old and still has that gift. But but but that is that is all that those are the things, Pastor Jeff, you never forget. My daddy was always at my meta. My daddy was always telling me who I was, my daddy was always telling me how amazing I was.

38:55 My daddy was always telling me God had a plan and a purpose for my life, but I wasn't like everybody else. Yeah. Yeah. And the modeling of faith, right? Just I don't want to underestimate that. You like you, you have, in my opinion, out of all the people in my life, the the strongest devotional be with God. You you you that's that ultimately, and we don't want to brush past that. Yeah, you you plowed a new path by getting the direction from being with God. You you surrendered to his word, you spent time with God.

39:36 That's where you were getting the wisdom in the direction, right? So it's it's like thank God for models, right? Thank God for, but I mean, we we have the best model. And and so just that that has always inspired me. I mean, you and I will Sunday morning, how many Sunday mornings before church? I know you've already been praying. I'm kind of depressed, but like, oh no. I got to do you call me. Man of God, the Lord's gonna move today. You know, I think it's it's it's it's something we don't want to brush over, it's the importance. Well, no Christian is any greater than their unseen Christian life. Yeah. There's a biblical principle called the law of hidden and exposed.

40:17 Jesus said it like this: what's done in secret will be shouted from the rooftops. I called it the Bill Clinton, Mother Teresa principle. Both of their private life got exposed. One became a sinner, the other became a saint. And the Bible says that what we do secretly, God will one day expose openly. Hey, that's not a threat. That's a promise. It's only a threat if you're doing things in secret you shouldn't be doing. But if you are building your hidden life to know God, to discover your identity in Christ, to acknowledge his word is preeminent in your life and the Holy Spirit is the ultimate guide. And something else that I don't want us to brush over either.

41:00 I wouldn't be here without a pastor in my life. It's true. I've had the same spiritual father for 54 years. I've never gone against him anything he told me that he believed God wanted me to do in 54 years. Yes, those of you listening right on the podcast. Yeah. Yes, I have a hundred staff. Yes, we have thousands of people. Yes, I'm a full grown man. You remember when your children tell you, get up and I'm a full grown man. You pick them up, throw them up on the bed, they go, never mind, I was joking. But but I'm a 67-year-old man. Yeah. And I have a pastor, Pastor Jim. Yeah. I I wouldn't be here without those voices in my life.

41:42 Yes, it's been the word of God. True. But I'm gonna tell you something, when those storms come, you're feeling around and you know the word is true, but everything you're looking at is lying to you, saying it's not good, things will not be well, he will not live, things will not change. Right. And you've seen me through those storms, Pastor James. Yes, I have. I I want to I want to talk about that for a minute because I say you're building your relationships today for your storms of tomorrow. So good. So you're building your life on the word, you're building that foundation of obedience. Then God brings these relationships into your life. You and I have walked closely through these challenges.

42:23 You've been there for me, I've walked with you. I I want to I want to even talk about, you know, Wesley, that whole season, like like you, you said you have one of your kids in heaven. Yeah. So talk talk to us about that. Talk about how do you walk through something. I think if you were to say the top fear anybody would ever go through is losing a child, I I was there on the front row. Yeah. I was there with you. By the way, one thing I would honor you in too is I sat there in the Lafayette building, knowing all the pain and the struggle of everything you had gone through.

43:06 But then in that moment, I watched, I mean, I got there early. We didn't have the entire community lined up outside the doors. Like in those moments, I was so proud of you. I mean, watching you walk through something that I can't even imagine. But then all them people come and uh the whole city came to hug you, pray with you. I couldn't even get a hug in. There were so many little Cajun mamas hugging you and praying with you, and and so talk to us about that. Like, how did you walk through that season?

43:48 Well, the irony is in September 11th, just a couple of days, it will be 10 years. Yeah. And um when the night came at the door on September 11th, um 1230, and my wife woke me up and said, David, that the the police are at the door. And I got there and they were holding a driver's license, and they said, Are you the father of Wesley Aranza? I said, Yes, and they said, I'm sorry. I said, for what? And they said he was he was run over.

44:30 He was riding a motorcycle coming home half a mile from our home from getting a hamburger. Someone pulled out of a theater and didn't see him and and ran over him, and he was he was instantly killed. I think um nothing, first of all, prepares you for that. Nothing. I'm a man of God. I love God, I love my wife, I plead the blood of Jesus over my children and grandchildren every day. I pray a hedge over them. And nothing, nothing prepares you for that moment. I've walked with other people through those moments.

45:13 And in your mind, you you you think, well, there had to be maybe a reason or maybe something was going on you didn't know. The next three and a half years, I I lost my wife. I don't mean that she left, I mean it was like the day the police knocked on the door. And uh you were there, Pastor Steve was there, Pastor Jim came. And and you don't know how to react. I I actually you find this crazy. I when they handed me the driver's license, I looked and started consoling the policeman.

45:55 I just I didn't know what else to do. Yeah. And when they left, I think my first prayer was God why Wesley. Isn't that a common response that people have, right? It'd have to be. Yeah. Yeah, it have to be. And I I would just say, God why Wesley, and and where I lived versus where the church is, I had to drive over the very road that he was run over five to ten times a day. And one of the things that that so tormented us was that he died a half a mile from us alone, run over in the middle of a street.

46:47 Forty-eight hours later, um, a knot came at our door, and Pastor Eugene, who was our senior associate, you know him, came. We've been together for 40 years, and and he said, Pastor, he said, I brought a couple that I want you to meet. They came walking in, African-American couple from Mahopolis' campus, and they said, Uh, Pastor, we wanted you to know something. Um, our daughter's a cheerleader at the high school right down the street from the theater, and and we go and we watch her, cheerlead, every Friday night. And this particular Friday night, I looked at my wife and said, Look, why don't you go? Me and my son, we're gonna go, and he's 10 years old, we're gonna go watch a movie.

47:28 And he said, So we went to the movie, we saw the accident. We ran over and we took Wesley by the hand. We were the last people to pray with him. He didn't die alone, he died with a spiritual family. And all I can say to you, because I think everybody looks and goes, you can't even imagine that is God never allows you to go through something like that without giving you something to replace it. Yeah, we all know we're eternal spiritual beings having a temporary physical experience on earth.

48:09 And we went through at our pastor's um command. Yeah, Pastor Jim told us we had to take off for three months and go to grief counseling, which we did, didn't attend our church for three months. Came back and said, You need three more months after meeting with us and went back for three more months, never attended our church. Then he came back and said, You need another month. For seven months, we didn't walk through the doors of our church. And that was the hardest thing and the best thing we ever did. Because grief is an internal injury, and if you don't allow God to come in and heal that, then it comes out as dysfunction throughout the rest of your life.

48:56 That's so true. And it has given us a ministry nobody volunteered for but God. Anytime there is a tragedy loss, a tragic loss in anywhere in our community, most often we get a phone call. And and and we are able to minister to them that that spiral of what happened during that season. Our youngest son also got caught up in the shrapnel of that. He was living upstairs with Wesley and never went back up to sleep again for seven months.

49:37 So we had to move. He went into a clinical depression, medication, and then ultimately an addiction to opiates. It was 2020, the national championship game at LSU. I was in the coach's suite, Michelle and I. All my children were at the game, seated in other seats, and he was texting me, I have to leave, I have to leave. I didn't know. And recognized the depth. He was in the middle of heroin addiction. Someone came from Lafayette two hours away and picked him up and drove him back to Lafayette to get drugs. I would later find this out.

50:19 My sons gathered around me the next morning and said, Daddy, you got to turn the sad. You send him to three rehabs, he's gonna die. And I looked at them and said, He will live and not die and declare the works of the Lord, and the devil will regret the day he ever struck him. Five and a half years ago, he was raised from the dead. This morning I left, and I yesterday and today I do Bible studies with many of the key employers in our community, bank presidents, doctors, lawyers, whatever.

51:00 He did the Bible study yesterday morning, and this morning, he's memorizing the New Testament. I don't know one person who has more scripture memorized than him. No, he's memorizing the next time. He's memorizing the New Testament. Yes. He's preaching, I mean, God's hands really. He's healing the sick. Yes. He is seeing people delivered from addiction and set free by the power of God. And everything God told me in my darkest hour. And my pastor, Pastor Jim, who stood with me. When he was an infant, I have it. We have the cassette. Pastor Jim held him up and said, When he's 16 years old, the enemy will come and strike him, but God will prevail.

51:42 And that's exactly what happened. I don't know what he's gonna do with his life, but it'll be 10 times anything I've ever done. That's yeah. Talk about talk about holding on to faith. Talk about, because I've I've I've been there where you, whether it's walking through that with Wesley or Haddon or the the challenges, what what could you say to all of us as we walk through those? How do we where does that come from? Where do where do you how do you hold on to it? Sometimes God gives you an answer and sometimes he gives you grace. Sometimes he gives you an answer, and sometimes he gives you grace.

52:27 And in those grace moments, Pastor Jeff, God has always given me a word. Yeah. The word for Christian was the power of the Most High will come upon him, and what's conceived in him will be of the Holy Ghost. And today he's preaching to a thousand people each weekend and planting church and thriving and growing. The word he gave me for Haddon was the seed of the righteous shall be delivered. And when he was thriving with addiction, I've laid in bed literally with him, holding him like this when he was trying to punch himself as hard as he could in the face because he was going through addiction again, crying, begging him to stop.

53:12 But that word, that word, that word, it will not fail. Faithful is he who called you, who also will bring it to pass. Yes. And as I've held on to the promises of God and the people of God, I need them both. You know, you talked about what would I tell pastors, you know. Jesus died for the church. Yeah. You don't have to die for your church. He already died for it. Right. He wants you to die for your family. Husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church. He died for the church. He wants you to lay down your life for your family.

53:54 He laid down his life for the church. And I can tell you, in those moments, it's spiritual family. It's people standing with you as you stand on God's word that you know is true. That you know is true. But every one of us had been in situations where we knew exactly what we would tell somebody else to do, but when we get in the middle of it, it's freeze, fight, or flight. Yeah, it is. So hold on to the word of God and hold on to spiritual family. Woe to him who falls alone, the scripture says. So true. I mean, what a word to ministry leaders, right?

54:36 Like it's it's it's the plumber with a with a broken pipe, right? It's the the doctor with health issues. I mean, we in ministry, it's amazing how we're blind when it comes to our situation. And I think, you know, I've told you multiple times, if you see anything, if you sense anything, I mean, we've lived a long time with, I mean, my kids, I mean, a lot of people say that, but do you really invite that? If you see anything, you have full freedom. I think you have to give permission. And that's one thing I respect about you so much is that you are that person. If you see anything, if you recognize anything.

55:18 You can come on a little strong at times, but only when I adjust my glasses and bad. But but I I love that about you that that that you practice what you preach. You're a man of God. You've you you you have so much authority in what you say because I've watched you live it. And and I thank you for for being a man of integrity, for being an example of marriage, for for even though you're strong with glasses, you're one of the best pastors I know. I mean, you pastor so many people, people don't realize you have an anointing to pastor people. I would I say if there's people that are in leadership and positions, um, you're one of the best with marriage and complications.

56:06 And and so I'm I'm better because of you. Well, uh, I am certainly as well. And as you know, I pastor a lot of people: Tornwells, Darius Daniels, Jimmy Rollins, and others. But you're still my favorite. Pop Paul's boy. You're still Paw Paula's boy. I look at you and I still see those Wrangler huskies. I want to say thank you for checking out this episode of the Lead to Win podcast. I want you to know that I love and my team loves getting this kind of content into your life so we can help you lead and win at what matters most.

56:48 So I love you to do me a favor of like comments, especially describe a few words so that we can make sure that we're able to get to you some of the things that are gonna help you lead to win.