July 14, 2025

How Secure Leaders Help Others Thrive with Steve Robinson

How Secure Leaders Help Others Thrive with Steve Robinson
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Amazon Music podcast player icon YouTube podcast player icon
Apple Podcasts podcast player icon Spotify podcast player icon Amazon Music podcast player icon YouTube podcast player icon
Season 1

What if the strongest thing you could do as a leader is go first? First to show up. First to celebrate someone else. First to risk being vulnerable. In this powerful episode, Jeff and Steve talk about how secure leaders create space for others to thrive—not by posturing, but by being present. You’ll hear how the willingness to risk rejection opens the door to deeper relationships, stronger teams, and lasting impact. If you’ve ever struggled with isolation or insecurity in leadership, this episode is for you.

TIMESTAMPS
9:36 - Breaking the Cycle of Leadership Loneliness
17:13 - How to Build Meaningful Relationships
25:54 - Celebrating Others' Successes
34:47 - The Gift of Pastoral Leadership
41:14 - Resources for Growth and Healing

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Steve Robinson's Resources: https://steverobinson.com/
More resources: https://leadtowin.com/
Win With People: https://leadtowin.com/pages/win-with-people
Register for Leaders Gathering: https://leadersgathering.leadtowin.com/
Information on Milestone Church: https://milestonechurch.com/

FIND US AT: https://leadtowin.com

GET IN TOUCH: Contact us at info@leadtowin.com

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jefflittle/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pastorjefflittle

00:00 - Running Against Your Own Potential

09:36 - Breaking the Cycle of Leadership Loneliness

17:13 - How to Build Meaningful Relationships

25:54 - Celebrating Others' Successes

34:47 - The Gift of Pastoral Leadership

41:14 - Resources for Growth and Healing

WEBVTT

00:00:00.901 --> 00:00:04.471
At the end of the day, my race is not against you.

00:00:04.471 --> 00:00:21.493
What gives you confidence, security and really an internal wholeness where it's like, hey, I'm not looking to my right, I'm not looking to my left, I am looking forward and again I can learn from you, but I have to run against my own potential.

00:00:29.260 --> 00:00:38.064
I want to welcome you to the Lead to Win podcast and I want to tell you the purpose behind this podcast is that we all want to win in the areas that we feel like we have assignments or callings to.

00:00:38.064 --> 00:00:55.079
But a lot of times a little inspiration, a little coaching, learning from someone else's mistakes or failures can help us win, not just at the things that we see in front of us, but also winning in the areas that really are going to matter to us most for the long haul.

00:00:55.079 --> 00:00:55.479
That's good.

00:00:55.479 --> 00:01:16.018
It's really getting a longer view and I have with us for this episode not really a guest episode, not really a guest I want you to kind of come into our relationship because Pastor Steve Robinson is more than just a pastor in my life, an inspiration.

00:01:16.018 --> 00:01:22.712
He's five years older than me Now I know he looks younger but, he's five years older than me but he's also been.

00:01:23.222 --> 00:01:44.745
I have two sisters, so he's been like that older brother, you know, beating me up at times, you know challenge me, inspiring me, but really I have to say, somebody that's really really celebrated my successes and helped me become better and really, at the end of the day, we can talk a little bit about the dynamic of our relationship, but really we're also just really good friends.

00:01:44.745 --> 00:01:56.313
But I also want you to know what he stewards, because I know a lot of times when I hear the introduction of someone it's not just about talking about all their accomplishments.

00:01:56.313 --> 00:02:02.031
I know what you steward and who you are and the things that God's done in your life.

00:02:02.031 --> 00:02:06.367
But I think it helps people who don't know you maybe to listen a little bit more intently.

00:02:06.367 --> 00:02:12.127
You are a pastor, you are a husband, you're a dad of four children, you have a son-in-law.

00:02:12.127 --> 00:02:15.259
Of course, we've been at each other's kids' weddings.

00:02:15.259 --> 00:02:18.947
You know all these moments we've celebrated together.

00:02:19.228 --> 00:02:33.093
But you, pastor, church of the King, you have six locations across the Gulf Coast region and you're starting a seventh location, your first international location, in Cape Town, south Africa.

00:02:33.093 --> 00:02:38.228
But I do want all the listeners to know this because, isn't it interesting?

00:02:38.228 --> 00:02:42.895
You, being from the greater New Orleans area, went to Tulane University.

00:02:42.895 --> 00:02:48.627
You finished your master's degree as well, finished your seminary degree and then we did our doctorate together.

00:02:48.627 --> 00:03:00.000
That's right, right, but you, you spend a lot of your time at Tulane and then a little time at New Orleans Baptist Seminary, and and and grew up and spent a lot of time, and now pastor on the North shore of New Orleans.

00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:17.269
Right, I find it interesting because of our relationship, how, so many times whether it be Katrina, so many movies you're here sharing with our church at our prepare, we're going to speak to some leaders and just last week we had this event.

00:03:17.269 --> 00:03:30.687
It's interesting, but many years ago, during Katrina, you guys purchased a building right on St Charles Avenue and this year we're going to open that building.

00:03:30.747 --> 00:03:31.128
Finally.

00:03:31.409 --> 00:03:34.366
Finally, finally, as one of your favorite messages.

00:03:34.539 --> 00:03:38.752
I think it's the longest building project in the history of American Christianity.

00:03:38.752 --> 00:03:48.046
Now I don't know if there's like a chart out there, but no, it's been a long and you guys have been a part of that as a church and, jeff, thank you for having me on the podcast.

00:03:48.046 --> 00:03:49.128
We're excited to be here.

00:03:49.128 --> 00:03:51.906
I do want to echo our friendship over the years.

00:03:51.906 --> 00:03:53.875
It's just been an encouragement to me.

00:03:53.875 --> 00:03:57.770
I know you call me Pastor Truth, as we're brothers where you've inspired me, helped me.

00:03:57.770 --> 00:04:04.728
We've walked together, laughed together, cried together, gone through a lot and just really encouraged and been there for one another.

00:04:04.728 --> 00:04:08.594
But yes, specifically related to New Orleans, this year we're opening up.

00:04:08.594 --> 00:04:13.532
It'll be our eighth campus downtown New Orleans, st Charles Avenue, right in the heart of the city.

00:04:13.532 --> 00:04:23.249
Recently, of course, the tragic event that took place on Bourbon Street Right, 14 people lost their lives, 30 are still injured and recovering.

00:04:23.249 --> 00:04:31.857
But you guys in Milestone Church have been a great part of really sowing into that and believing with us, and so we're excited.

00:04:31.857 --> 00:04:34.048
Can't wait to have you come speak there.

00:04:34.127 --> 00:04:38.630
Yeah, and we've had a lot of pastors around the body of Christ because obviously you're.

00:04:38.630 --> 00:04:46.821
You know you have a campus in Gulfport, you have a campus in Atlanta just in your region, but this is really like for the body of Christ.

00:04:46.880 --> 00:04:56.831
I've been championing that to the body of Christ because I think certain areas San Francisco, new Orleans these harder to reach areas with prayer.

00:04:56.831 --> 00:05:11.932
I would ask all the listeners, like we should be praying for the launch of that and we've given financially, and I think it's something that we all need to rally behind because we don't want to let a city like New Orleans be given to the hands of the enemy.

00:05:12.360 --> 00:05:18.747
There's a lot of people to reach there and again I want to say thank you for how much you've prayed and believed and given towards that.

00:05:18.747 --> 00:05:20.692
You know, god, I grew up in New Orleans.

00:05:20.692 --> 00:05:21.701
I grew up in that side.

00:05:21.701 --> 00:05:24.024
I was asked to go across the lake.

00:05:24.024 --> 00:05:27.050
Initially it was like 35 miles north of New Orleans.

00:05:27.050 --> 00:05:30.079
It's the longest bridge, matter of fact, I think, in the world.

00:05:30.079 --> 00:05:35.250
It's 24 miles the Causeway Bridge and we started in 1999.

00:05:35.250 --> 00:05:37.545
Jennifer and I were sent I was 30 years old across the lake.

00:05:37.584 --> 00:05:46.411
I was in youth ministry, preaching to kids in high schools and always had a heart for the city of New Orleans, matter of fact, and I asked my pastor who sent me at the time.

00:05:46.471 --> 00:06:01.307
I said I'd like to come back to New Orleans at some point in time and he said, absolutely, I know that's what your heart is, and so our quote broadcast location is in Mandeville, which is a suburb north, and at the end of 2025, we'll be moving into our St Charles campus.

00:06:01.307 --> 00:06:05.254
Thank you for your prayers, your love, your support, but I'm excited about you.

00:06:05.254 --> 00:06:26.913
I'm excited about what God's doing with you Milestone Church and I love this whole concept of lead to win Right and the concept that you've, you know, god has really given you branded on your heart, because you've been someone that has championed pastors and leaders and really teaching them what winning is really about and how to win at the right places in the right areas.

00:06:26.913 --> 00:06:27.581
So many people.

00:06:27.581 --> 00:06:40.500
You know we define winning differently than the secular culture, the kingdom of God, jesus lovers, jesus followers, and so thank you for this podcast and as this develops, and I'm excited, to see what happens.

00:06:41.262 --> 00:06:50.961
So the concept you and I have talked about it so many times, right and a lot of our worlds, because we're such close friends, intermesh I mean our staffs know each other friends.

00:06:51.663 --> 00:07:09.889
We love to encourage and help leaders, pastors We've hunted all over the world together, fished our business guys and we talk a lot about when you've been a pastor for as many years as we have, right, and you've interacted with so many people from different walks of life.

00:07:09.889 --> 00:07:11.605
Everybody has a scoreboard.

00:07:11.605 --> 00:07:12.026
That's right.

00:07:12.026 --> 00:07:20.973
They all have a scoreboard and the challenge is sometimes you can get a lot of points on a scoreboard and then realize I played the wrong game.

00:07:20.973 --> 00:07:25.230
My first question for you is like what is winning really?

00:07:25.310 --> 00:07:26.963
from a biblical understanding.

00:07:26.983 --> 00:07:28.226
What does it mean to win?

00:07:28.226 --> 00:07:34.089
If someone's out there, I feel like I'm losing right, or maybe I want it something, but I still feel unfulfilled Right?

00:07:34.089 --> 00:07:34.791
What is winning?

00:07:35.100 --> 00:07:37.089
You know, from a biblical concept, winning is.

00:07:37.089 --> 00:07:38.497
It's a term in the Bible.

00:07:38.497 --> 00:07:40.081
I think a lot of people don't realize that they're like.

00:07:40.081 --> 00:07:41.663
Well, you know, should we win as Christians?

00:07:41.663 --> 00:07:48.035
Well, Paul is very clear in 1 Corinthians 9, run in such a way that you win.

00:07:48.035 --> 00:07:51.168
The question is, who are you running against?

00:07:51.168 --> 00:07:54.425
That's really good, and the reality is for Christ's followers.

00:07:54.425 --> 00:08:00.175
Our race is not against our neighbor, our race is against our own potential.

00:08:00.175 --> 00:08:03.689
So good, and that's the grid that I see, this whole thing I see.

00:08:03.689 --> 00:08:05.024
So we want to win.

00:08:05.024 --> 00:08:05.968
What do we want to win in?

00:08:05.968 --> 00:08:10.812
We want to win in the areas that matter most to God the kingdom of God, scripture.

00:08:10.812 --> 00:08:13.259
But our race is against our potential.

00:08:13.300 --> 00:08:20.254
You know, I have a stewardship mindset through and I really view Matthew 25 as the grid.

00:08:20.254 --> 00:08:24.822
You know, one had this many talents, the other had this, of course, in Bible times.

00:08:24.822 --> 00:08:30.713
I know it relates to monetary value, but also it also relates to our gifts, talents and abilities.

00:08:30.713 --> 00:08:31.641
It can be applied there.

00:08:31.641 --> 00:08:37.845
And so the question is am I doing with what God has given me and maximizing that to the fullest?

00:08:37.845 --> 00:08:40.269
If I do, one day I'm going to stand before the Lord.

00:08:40.269 --> 00:08:42.965
Well done by good and what Faithful.

00:08:42.985 --> 00:08:44.951
Have I been faithful with what God's given me.

00:08:49.320 --> 00:08:50.023
To me that's winning in the kingdom.

00:08:50.023 --> 00:08:52.595
It's really a theme right through scripture, because in Genesis you know, take care of the garden and then it just builds up.

00:08:52.595 --> 00:08:55.583
And Matthew 25 is that New Testament picture.

00:08:55.583 --> 00:08:56.225
Okay.

00:08:56.225 --> 00:09:03.344
But I heard you say something Someone else doesn't have to lose in the kingdom for me to win.

00:09:03.344 --> 00:09:03.804
It's not.

00:09:03.804 --> 00:09:12.952
There's one, you know, one pie and I got to hide it from my siblings because there's only one or two pieces left.

00:09:12.952 --> 00:09:17.885
In God's kingdom there's abundance and I'm not having to have someone else lose.

00:09:17.885 --> 00:09:19.809
How does that impact?

00:09:19.809 --> 00:09:22.722
Because you and I okay in our worlds.

00:09:22.722 --> 00:09:28.868
I want to hone in on something that I just I felt when you and I were going to do this.

00:09:28.928 --> 00:09:36.929
It's like I wish they could get us like at a, you know, in an informal setting and just because we joke with each other, we love each other.

00:09:37.090 --> 00:09:42.851
But obviously both of us leaders and we know we're old enough now to we know each other's strengths and weaknesses.

00:09:42.851 --> 00:09:48.346
Enough now to you we know each other's strengths and weaknesses.

00:09:48.346 --> 00:09:49.009
We joke you're, I have strategy.

00:09:49.009 --> 00:09:50.014
You're the most strategic person I've ever met.

00:09:50.014 --> 00:09:52.304
In fact, we could do a whole nother podcast that's why I have a counselor.

00:09:52.365 --> 00:09:53.590
You don't, you know what?

00:09:53.590 --> 00:09:55.498
I'm saying high strategic people.

00:09:55.498 --> 00:09:56.561
Oh, they're thinking through things.

00:09:56.561 --> 00:10:00.841
That's why they're a wreck emotionally at times, but anyway so maybe you're enjoying life.

00:10:00.860 --> 00:10:04.706
Maybe we could do a podcast and you could organize all the listeners' lives.

00:10:04.807 --> 00:10:06.090
That's right, you could.

00:10:06.090 --> 00:10:08.474
That would be part two Sequel, sequel, sequel.

00:10:08.474 --> 00:10:09.054
Part two.

00:10:09.700 --> 00:10:11.528
And so we'll go to an event.

00:10:11.528 --> 00:10:21.149
One of our favorite stories to tell is we'll go to an event and when we're pulling up I'll be like tell me if there's anything I should be nervous about, because I know you've already thought about it, looked over the schedule.

00:10:21.149 --> 00:10:23.471
I'm just going to hang out with you which you exactly say here's what you say.

00:10:23.511 --> 00:10:27.344
You say, hey, if any point in time that I should be nervous or anxious, just let me know.

00:10:27.344 --> 00:10:29.409
Until then, I'm going to enjoy myself, which I do.

00:10:29.409 --> 00:10:30.750
Let you know, Jeff, this is a big deal.

00:10:30.750 --> 00:10:31.799
You should be really concerned.

00:10:31.860 --> 00:10:32.469
You should be concerned.

00:10:32.469 --> 00:10:33.198
Okay, all right.

00:10:40.009 --> 00:10:47.043
But what you're saying and this is important for leaders highly competitive in their inclinations, their design, and so they want to win.

00:10:47.043 --> 00:10:50.511
And the problem is is that your competition really isn't your neighbor.

00:10:50.511 --> 00:10:55.410
And if you see, your, it's not that we can't be inspired by others, it's not that we can't learn.

00:10:55.410 --> 00:10:58.961
I mean, my gosh, you have a whole ministry where you're equipping and inspiring leaders.

00:10:58.961 --> 00:11:05.504
Best practices we can learn, we can glean, but at the end of the day, my race is not against you.

00:11:05.504 --> 00:11:19.572
What gives you confidence, security and really an internal wholeness where it's like, hey, I'm not looking to my right, I'm not looking to my left, I am looking forward and, again, I can learn from you.

00:11:19.572 --> 00:11:22.494
But I have to run against my own potential.

00:11:22.494 --> 00:11:28.116
And leaders are just I mean, they're just so dominated by competition, Right, they can't celebrate.

00:11:28.116 --> 00:11:28.777
See, here's the thing.

00:11:28.777 --> 00:11:29.197
That's it.

00:11:29.197 --> 00:11:34.019
If your race is against somebody else when they're doing well, you can't celebrate their wins, you can't celebrate.

00:11:34.279 --> 00:11:34.679
That's the issue.

00:11:34.679 --> 00:11:35.282
How do you?

00:11:35.322 --> 00:11:37.008
celebrate somebody that's beating you.

00:11:37.288 --> 00:11:41.846
Right If you look at it that way and, quite honestly, most leaders along the way find themselves.

00:11:41.846 --> 00:11:43.447
They talk about being lonely at the top.

00:11:43.447 --> 00:11:45.149
This is one of the root causes.

00:11:45.149 --> 00:11:47.312
This is a serious core issue to it.

00:11:47.352 --> 00:11:49.154
It's a major major reason why.

00:11:49.215 --> 00:11:52.592
And then you find yourself I don't have anybody to call and celebrate.

00:11:52.592 --> 00:11:59.331
I can't tell you how many successful business people leaders, pastors, and it's like you go around the world.

00:11:59.331 --> 00:12:03.429
They want to show you and talk about it because they don't have any friends that are like calling on Sunday afternoon.

00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:09.722
Hey, how was church?

00:12:09.722 --> 00:12:10.024
What happened?

00:12:10.024 --> 00:12:10.606
We've done that for years.

00:12:10.606 --> 00:12:12.674
Right, and I think mindset is so important here, perspective and mindset.

00:12:12.674 --> 00:12:15.703
By the way, when I think of mindset, perspective and mindset I almost use interchangeably.

00:12:15.703 --> 00:12:19.331
Again, how are you viewing your calling?

00:12:19.331 --> 00:12:21.582
How are you viewing your leadership?

00:12:21.582 --> 00:12:26.649
How are you viewing what God's called the assignment you use that word the assignment that God has for your life?

00:12:26.649 --> 00:12:36.629
Again, other pastors in your area, other pastors or leaders around the country, we can learn, we can glean, we want to employ best practices, but, at the end of the day, you have a unique context.

00:12:36.629 --> 00:12:38.296
You're a unique person.

00:12:38.296 --> 00:12:40.201
You have unique experiences.

00:12:40.201 --> 00:12:45.854
You have different demographic people, different sociological aspects in the environment that you're in.

00:12:46.399 --> 00:12:50.826
You want to run your race well, which means 1 Corinthians 9,.

00:12:50.826 --> 00:12:59.267
I'm running against my assignment, my potential, what God's called me to do, and that's what we're going to give to God one day.

00:12:59.267 --> 00:13:02.265
Here's the thing, jeff At the end of the day, I'm running towards that goal.

00:13:02.265 --> 00:13:02.788
What goal, what goal, steve?

00:13:02.788 --> 00:13:03.490
Well done by good and faithful.

00:13:03.490 --> 00:13:04.153
That's the end of the day.

00:13:04.153 --> 00:13:05.255
I'm running towards that goal.

00:13:05.255 --> 00:13:06.179
What goal, what goal, steve?

00:13:06.179 --> 00:13:08.347
Well done by good and faithful.

00:13:08.347 --> 00:13:10.126
That's the end game, that's the end game.

00:13:10.779 --> 00:13:11.885
I've been able to celebrate you.

00:13:11.885 --> 00:13:16.490
I mean Milestone Church, I believe, is one of the greatest churches in the nation.

00:13:16.490 --> 00:13:29.307
You guys are exploding, you're growing, you're reaching people, you're making disciples, but you're uniquely called for this area and you've got a great assignment in this and you're multiple, so I can rejoice in that.

00:13:29.307 --> 00:13:34.011
Yeah, I know this is easier said than done, but it can happen We'll talk about, though.

00:13:34.139 --> 00:13:44.200
Also, once you let that guard down, yep, what really happens is you're also able to receive from the complimentary gift that that person is, and that's what you also lose.

00:13:44.200 --> 00:13:49.232
You not only lose the friendship, the relationship, you also lose what you can receive.

00:13:49.232 --> 00:13:55.212
So Milestone Church wouldn't be what it is but without your investment.

00:13:55.212 --> 00:13:57.227
You were there when we were in the cafetorium.

00:13:57.227 --> 00:13:58.986
Big chains back there, jeff.

00:13:59.650 --> 00:14:00.153
Big place.

00:14:00.240 --> 00:14:01.004
You came to the cafetorium.

00:14:01.043 --> 00:14:04.558
We're preaching and the Cokes are actually coming out of the machine.

00:14:04.558 --> 00:14:04.659
Baby.

00:14:04.700 --> 00:14:05.514
People are getting a.

00:14:05.534 --> 00:14:05.759
Coke.

00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:10.511
People are getting a Coke while you're preaching, while we're preaching, exactly yeah.

00:14:10.880 --> 00:14:32.484
And so you've been there at every step along the way, but you were someone, again me being willing, and I want to say this, maybe to someone this is very unique to us but early on I realized we're going to be friends, but you also have a role with me, to where you've been a big brother, a spiritual leader of voice Right, so I think you have to also determine.

00:14:33.365 --> 00:14:37.865
a lot of people out there say, hey, I want to coach, right, but this is not in the Bible.

00:14:37.865 --> 00:14:45.464
But it is an ancient proverb, right, that the teacher, when the pupil is ready, the teacher appears right.

00:14:45.464 --> 00:14:48.331
So it's, how willing are you to receive from that?

00:14:48.331 --> 00:15:00.423
So early on I was like, okay, now, when you're speaking to me through that lens, it's really my job to position my heart to receive, and then that frees you up to be able to be in a more friendship and relationship role.

00:15:00.503 --> 00:15:08.919
So I think what you're talking about is really its perspective, how you view your race, and really the internal security that somebody has to have Internal security.

00:15:10.043 --> 00:15:17.440
If they're insecure, they're protecting and I'm going to use this concept it's used a lot, but it's important A scarcity versus an abundance mindset.

00:15:17.440 --> 00:15:19.440
That's not just talking about resources and money, it's true.

00:15:19.440 --> 00:15:23.750
It's talking about relationships, but it's talking about relationships Because you have an abundance mindset.

00:15:23.750 --> 00:15:25.072
God's a big God.

00:15:25.072 --> 00:15:26.869
There's more than enough around God.

00:15:26.869 --> 00:15:27.985
There's more people to reach.

00:15:27.985 --> 00:15:32.250
Your internal security has allowed you to be vulnerable, allowed you to get coached.

00:15:32.250 --> 00:15:34.464
You used to show up at our staff meetings At five years old.

00:15:34.464 --> 00:15:37.726
You'd be like my baby, no, like no offense With no invitation.

00:15:37.746 --> 00:15:40.950
Invitation Uninvited no yes, like uninvited, I still call my own invited.

00:15:41.169 --> 00:15:44.932
I was like I'm doing our staff in Louisiana, new Orleans area.

00:15:44.932 --> 00:15:47.653
I'm like Jeff, what are you doing here?

00:15:47.653 --> 00:15:49.394
I'm like a yellow pad.

00:15:49.394 --> 00:15:52.297
I'm like Jeff, you like you have to call and tell.

00:15:52.297 --> 00:15:54.662
Like we have assistants, we have second what's up?

00:15:54.662 --> 00:15:58.707
But but I think it was the internal security and there's so many.

00:15:58.707 --> 00:16:08.851
My heart breaks for pastors and leaders because if you're insecure, you're hiding, you're protecting you can't be open to coaching and to leadership with others.

00:16:08.871 --> 00:16:15.474
So I think it's number one, I think it's your perspective of what your race is and who it's against.

00:16:15.474 --> 00:16:18.868
You've always seen that you're going to develop your potential.

00:16:18.868 --> 00:16:29.528
Number two you have to have an internal level of security that you're able to be coached, that you're hungry, and so I love how you've modeled that over the years it goes back to winning in areas that matter most.

00:16:29.759 --> 00:16:34.450
Okay, question I get that, but I'm alone.

00:16:34.450 --> 00:16:39.251
I get that, but the people I love the most aren't celebrating.

00:16:39.251 --> 00:16:50.592
I want a leader out there to get a thought that if they'll transition to I'm not competing, this can change your dynamic with siblings, with friends.

00:16:50.592 --> 00:16:51.554
It's a game changer.

00:16:51.554 --> 00:16:52.501
It's a game changer.

00:16:52.501 --> 00:16:55.006
I'm moving toward my potential.

00:16:55.006 --> 00:17:00.504
And what if it was possible to have both?

00:17:00.504 --> 00:17:01.548
I know we say have it all.

00:17:01.548 --> 00:17:08.269
We technically can't have it all, but I think we can have a greater level of the holistic winning.

00:17:08.269 --> 00:17:09.894
Yes, holistic winning.

00:17:09.894 --> 00:17:14.171
Like I didn't just score the touchdown, my teammates were glad I made it into the end zone.

00:17:14.171 --> 00:17:16.203
You know your team, your friends.

00:17:16.203 --> 00:17:17.887
What would you say, though?

00:17:17.887 --> 00:17:31.993
I know you've given the concept, but practically, a leader out there who goes, I'm just by myself, I've just kind of maybe somehow I've gravitated over here into isolation what can they practically?

00:17:32.374 --> 00:17:34.296
Let me give you a couple of things and I'm gonna go back to you.

00:17:34.296 --> 00:17:40.044
Number one you gotta be willing to show up.

00:17:40.044 --> 00:17:42.791
So when you say I'm going to show up at a staff meeting, okay, here's what you're saying, all right.

00:17:42.791 --> 00:17:44.676
You're saying I'm going to risk being rejected.

00:17:44.676 --> 00:17:49.211
I'm going to risk Steve turning around and going bro, this is like too much.

00:17:49.211 --> 00:17:51.247
So you have to be willing.

00:17:51.247 --> 00:17:55.050
Number one you've got to be willing to risk rejection in relationships, it's really true.

00:17:55.050 --> 00:18:01.827
Number two you've got to be willing to celebrate the person's environment that you're going into Again, as a leader.

00:18:01.827 --> 00:18:06.073
The reason why we're alone sometimes is we immediately diminish somebody that we're trying to get close to.

00:18:06.073 --> 00:18:06.993
Yeah, well, they're not good at this.

00:18:06.993 --> 00:18:07.974
Well, they don't do small groups.

00:18:07.974 --> 00:18:08.935
Well, their church is not this.

00:18:08.935 --> 00:18:10.342
Well, the reason why?

00:18:10.362 --> 00:18:12.710
they have this, In other words, number one you've got to go in and be willing to risk.

00:18:12.710 --> 00:18:17.864
Number two you've got to be willing to celebrate who wants to allow close to them.

00:18:17.864 --> 00:18:20.105
That's going to be quote picked apart.

00:18:20.105 --> 00:18:20.786
That's right.

00:18:20.786 --> 00:18:21.886
So you're a celebrator man.

00:18:21.886 --> 00:18:23.087
This is awesome.

00:18:23.087 --> 00:18:25.470
So that makes somebody open.

00:18:25.470 --> 00:18:28.511
Pastors that are alone are critics.

00:18:28.893 --> 00:18:29.452
It's very true.

00:18:29.553 --> 00:18:30.094
They're critics.

00:18:30.094 --> 00:18:39.781
And, by the way, I'm not suggesting that you can't have analysis and you cannot be analytical but a critical spirit.

00:18:39.781 --> 00:18:40.924
Nobody's going to let you get close to them.

00:18:40.924 --> 00:18:43.612
They want you to allow them to celebrate what they're doing.

00:18:43.612 --> 00:18:45.105
You're going to come into my world, right?

00:18:45.105 --> 00:18:48.088
You're going to show up in risk and then you're going to tear me down.

00:18:48.088 --> 00:18:50.728
I don't want to be close to you.

00:18:50.949 --> 00:18:51.530
That's so good.

00:18:51.530 --> 00:18:54.107
I was like bro, no offense, stay back in Texas.

00:18:54.107 --> 00:18:56.923
It's an age-old thing you reap what you sow, right?

00:18:56.923 --> 00:18:58.365
I mean you know that.

00:18:58.365 --> 00:19:04.818
Being willing to say, hey, what can I do, you actually taught me this years ago.

00:19:04.838 --> 00:19:08.148
I'm going to jump to it I know where you're going with this because it's big.

00:19:08.940 --> 00:19:12.490
Be more interested than interesting.

00:19:12.490 --> 00:19:12.971
That's right.

00:19:12.971 --> 00:19:17.612
How many leaders do you sit with and they talk about them, about what they're doing?

00:19:17.612 --> 00:19:19.665
Tell me about your world.

00:19:19.665 --> 00:19:21.265
What is your big?

00:19:21.404 --> 00:19:28.989
I just I just I just yesterday sat down with, for whatever these words mean.

00:19:28.989 --> 00:19:39.664
Right, you know popular, famous this, but you know one of the one, a national person who speaks to lots of people, yeah, and I, and I did what you, years ago, told me that.

00:19:39.664 --> 00:19:48.492
And at the end of the conversation which I'm, I'm just really amazed by what they're doing in the conversation, I said what do you really care about right now?

00:19:48.492 --> 00:19:49.962
What are you really trying to do?

00:19:49.962 --> 00:19:52.851
And they told me about some project, but they had handed that off.

00:19:52.851 --> 00:19:56.003
And then they said I care about my.

00:19:56.003 --> 00:20:00.210
I've got, I've got twin girls and I've never sent a kid to college.

00:20:00.210 --> 00:20:00.891
Wow.

00:20:00.891 --> 00:20:03.615
And so I started saying how can I invest in that?

00:20:03.660 --> 00:20:07.832
And I helped her and I knew some people and we got and we helped a deal and alleviated a pressure.

00:20:07.832 --> 00:20:09.103
They broke down crying.

00:20:09.103 --> 00:20:17.006
This is a person that speaks to thousands, breaks down emotionally and says I'm never at a loss for words.

00:20:17.006 --> 00:20:22.894
Wow, the impact you make when you celebrate and care about somebody else.

00:20:23.099 --> 00:20:24.246
I mean and I learned that from you.

00:20:24.246 --> 00:20:26.586
Well, jeff, again, be willing to risk.

00:20:26.586 --> 00:20:27.388
Let's just put it down.

00:20:27.388 --> 00:20:28.050
Be willing to risk.

00:20:28.050 --> 00:20:29.866
We're making this up, but it's in us.

00:20:30.599 --> 00:20:31.726
So it's like be willing to risk.

00:20:31.940 --> 00:20:32.461
I'm going to.

00:20:32.461 --> 00:20:33.646
If you get an invite, come.

00:20:33.646 --> 00:20:35.185
Yeah, so be willing to risk.

00:20:35.185 --> 00:20:38.682
Number two celebrate the person and the environment you're going into.

00:20:38.682 --> 00:20:39.623
Yes, and the environment you're going into.

00:20:39.623 --> 00:20:41.244
Don't carry a critical spirit in there.

00:20:41.244 --> 00:20:41.884
There you go.

00:20:41.884 --> 00:20:43.086
Any pastor walks in.

00:20:43.086 --> 00:20:44.267
Well, we do this better.

00:20:44.267 --> 00:20:45.988
Well, our worship's better, we're better.

00:20:46.749 --> 00:20:47.608
Okay great.

00:20:47.829 --> 00:20:53.814
But if that leader that you're coming into the environment senses that I'm telling you they're going to keep a wall up.

00:20:53.814 --> 00:20:54.795
You never did that.

00:20:54.795 --> 00:20:58.237
Number three add value to the person and the environment you're coming into.

00:20:58.237 --> 00:21:00.943
Add value to them, help them, encourage them.

00:21:00.943 --> 00:21:03.201
What can you bring, what can you do?

00:21:03.201 --> 00:21:05.647
How can you see the best and invest in them?

00:21:05.647 --> 00:21:07.010
And you've done all of these things.

00:21:07.010 --> 00:21:09.824
At that point in time, that leader, I'm telling you they're wide open.

00:21:09.824 --> 00:21:18.415
So, leaders that are lonely number one they don't risk relationship, they're waiting for people to come to them rather than showing up.

00:21:18.539 --> 00:21:23.521
Number two they're insecure and critical of the environment, so they're going.

00:21:23.521 --> 00:21:24.626
Some people are walled up with there.

00:21:24.626 --> 00:21:29.587
Number three they don't add value, they extract value.

00:21:29.587 --> 00:21:32.387
Pastor you saying, if you're a young leader, so are you.

00:21:32.387 --> 00:21:33.049
I want to be clear.

00:21:33.049 --> 00:21:36.910
By the way, john Maxwell taught this as a young leader, he would go.

00:21:36.910 --> 00:21:38.759
He would interview people in his twenties.

00:21:38.941 --> 00:21:41.549
He would risk it and make the big ask and bring a gift.

00:21:41.569 --> 00:21:44.792
He'd bring a pen bring something that he knew was important to them.

00:21:44.792 --> 00:21:48.135
To show up, I need 30 minutes of your time, or an hour of your time to mentor me.

00:21:48.135 --> 00:21:51.567
I'm going to bring this, I'm going to show value, I'm going to risk.

00:21:51.567 --> 00:21:53.012
I'm not going to criticize you.

00:21:53.012 --> 00:21:57.347
Next thing, you know, everybody wants to be John's friends and everybody wants to be your friend.

00:21:57.347 --> 00:21:58.832
Yeah, you embody that job.

00:22:02.819 --> 00:22:03.221
So that's so good.

00:22:03.221 --> 00:22:04.647
I think that's another thing you touched on.

00:22:04.647 --> 00:22:06.516
Oh well, that's easy for you to have that conversation now.

00:22:06.516 --> 00:22:15.144
Right, it's the same thing we tell our, we tell business leaders, and when we teach about you know, oh well, well, yeah, when I get rich, then I'm going to be real generous.

00:22:15.163 --> 00:22:15.865
Then I'm going to give.

00:22:15.865 --> 00:22:19.069
When I win the lottery, then I'm going to tie.

00:22:19.069 --> 00:22:19.631
No, you won't.

00:22:19.631 --> 00:22:21.432
No, no, you won't.

00:22:21.432 --> 00:22:22.935
You can't give a dollar off a 10.

00:22:22.935 --> 00:22:25.428
You're not going to give $100,000 off of a million.

00:22:25.428 --> 00:22:26.843
It's the same thing with a leader.

00:22:26.843 --> 00:22:31.573
Same principle Add value, be willing to risk, and you know what?

00:22:31.573 --> 00:22:35.368
Oh, by the way, you're going to enter into some relationships and guess what?

00:22:35.368 --> 00:22:38.482
You will be rejected, it's true, so not everybody's going to go.

00:22:38.722 --> 00:22:45.394
You're amazing, we were waiting for you and so, as a young leader, be willing to show up.

00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:52.200
Be willing to celebrate the environment and the leader that you're going into, add value to them, bring something, a nice little thing, a thought.

00:22:52.200 --> 00:22:56.432
I'm not talking about some big monetary thing, but just a gift, something to show.

00:22:56.432 --> 00:22:58.124
Thank you for your time.

00:22:58.124 --> 00:23:01.807
I'm interested, I'm concerned, and can I go to this?

00:23:01.807 --> 00:23:02.248
Yeah, you for your time.

00:23:02.248 --> 00:23:03.480
I'm interested, I'm concerned and you, can I go to this?

00:23:03.480 --> 00:23:04.048
I think it's important.

00:23:04.048 --> 00:23:08.655
I've always taught this be more interested, like you said, be more interested than interesting.

00:23:08.655 --> 00:23:09.280
There you go.

00:23:09.280 --> 00:23:12.489
I make a leader talk about themselves.

00:23:13.009 --> 00:23:14.803
Steve, tell me about what you're going to tell me.

00:23:14.803 --> 00:23:17.310
It's not that I don't ever get to him, but I'm going to make.

00:23:17.310 --> 00:23:19.304
Can I just give a personal?

00:23:19.325 --> 00:23:20.508
grievance here just for a moment.

00:23:20.508 --> 00:23:21.109
Yes, please.

00:23:22.680 --> 00:23:25.763
A leader that cannot get into somebody else's world.

00:23:25.763 --> 00:23:26.605
Well, you don't understand.

00:23:26.605 --> 00:23:32.392
I'm visionary, I don't care Right, push into their world, tell me about your church, tell me about your family.

00:23:32.451 --> 00:23:34.255
Tell me about your kids, tell me about it's endearing.

00:23:34.515 --> 00:23:34.996
It's endearing.

00:23:34.996 --> 00:23:45.147
It's endearing and it's not like a strategy.

00:23:45.147 --> 00:23:47.700
It's called kingdom, it's called loving people, it's called adding value to people.

00:23:47.700 --> 00:23:52.310
And so you're going to the root issue of why leaders are so lonely they're waiting for people to come to them.

00:23:52.310 --> 00:23:52.632
They won't risk.

00:23:52.632 --> 00:23:52.973
They're insecure.

00:23:52.973 --> 00:23:54.923
They won't celebrate other people's environments.

00:23:54.923 --> 00:23:56.891
They're critical of everything that's going on.

00:23:56.891 --> 00:24:02.530
By the way, Jeff, God's blessing a lot of churches and a lot of styles Bible preaching churches.

00:24:02.530 --> 00:24:03.868
Very true, Very true.

00:24:03.888 --> 00:24:07.126
So that's one of the things that there's a lot of different ways to do it, it's true.

00:24:07.126 --> 00:24:09.135
So, I'm sorry if I'm talking too much.

00:24:09.155 --> 00:24:09.398
No, I love it.

00:24:09.398 --> 00:24:10.785
You got me rolling man.

00:24:10.805 --> 00:24:21.049
This is kind of and I think that I'm thinking about that person out there who might say I'm going to step out and risk it, I'm going to come to our lead.

00:24:21.049 --> 00:24:22.932
We have every year in January.

00:24:22.932 --> 00:24:27.896
We have a gathering where we bring leaders in and we're trying to like downplay some of the conference style.

00:24:31.401 --> 00:24:33.662
So we have some round tables things ways.

00:24:33.662 --> 00:24:35.143
You know where I'm going with this.

00:24:35.143 --> 00:24:36.682
I got up it was a couple years ago.

00:24:36.702 --> 00:24:38.483
Last year we kind of called it a round table.

00:24:38.483 --> 00:24:40.345
There's 1,500 people or 2,000 people.

00:24:40.345 --> 00:24:49.650
We're trying to kill the conference vibe, because I mean we're trying to do less sessions and more discussions, and so I'd kept it as a roundtable and so you get up to speak, okay.

00:24:49.650 --> 00:25:02.036
I would have personally liked you to say Jeff Little is an amazing leader and God has invited me here to share my great wisdom and my global ministry brand.

00:25:02.636 --> 00:25:14.979
And instead you said there's nothing around in here and there's no tables, so you need to run that back through your branding department, your little branding department.

00:25:14.979 --> 00:25:19.109
Actually, again, I felt it was in a transition.

00:25:20.299 --> 00:25:24.771
Then you said, put my time back on because that's not coming out of my speaking.

00:25:25.780 --> 00:25:29.872
You're not going to quench me with a little clock when I'm adding value to you.

00:25:29.872 --> 00:25:34.523
Again, what I love about you have to step out.

00:25:34.585 --> 00:25:36.044
right, you have to step out.

00:25:36.044 --> 00:25:40.107
Come to some Come to some Find somewhere.

00:25:40.107 --> 00:25:44.943
It doesn't matter what the connection or trap, but come and put yourself out there a little bit.

00:25:44.943 --> 00:25:46.287
You're going to feel insecure.

00:25:46.287 --> 00:25:47.529
How big is their church?

00:25:47.529 --> 00:25:49.192
What are they doing and you know what?

00:25:49.192 --> 00:25:51.288
That doesn't stop by how big your church is.

00:25:51.288 --> 00:25:52.664
You can still be critical.

00:25:52.704 --> 00:25:54.130
You can still evaluate.

00:25:54.981 --> 00:26:00.220
So we're not doing what we do, even for the applause of people, that's right.

00:26:00.220 --> 00:26:01.462
It's for the applause of people, that's right.

00:26:01.462 --> 00:26:02.144
It's for the applause of heaven.

00:26:02.163 --> 00:26:06.473
By the way, sometimes the loneliest people around are people that are pastoring large churches.

00:26:06.619 --> 00:26:09.227
Because they feel like the only person I can learn from is somebody who has a larger church.

00:26:09.227 --> 00:26:10.490
So let's just take that out, it's not true?

00:26:10.490 --> 00:26:16.071
Let's just kind of logically so the only person you can submit to, the only person you can learn from, is somebody who has a larger church than you.

00:26:16.071 --> 00:26:16.641
Is that really?

00:26:16.641 --> 00:26:22.049
I know there's dynamics and all that with staffing, but be careful of that.

00:26:22.049 --> 00:26:22.990
You'll end up alone.

00:26:22.990 --> 00:26:23.853
Yeah, you will.

00:26:23.853 --> 00:26:25.194
You'll end up alone, it's true.

00:26:25.194 --> 00:26:31.713
And the thing that I love about you, jeff, it doesn't matter if your church had 1,000 or 2,000 or 5,000 or 10,000 or whatever you guys have.

00:26:31.713 --> 00:26:34.087
You've always had a hungry heart to learn.

00:26:34.087 --> 00:26:35.862
You've always been willing to risk.

00:26:35.862 --> 00:26:39.366
You've had an internal security where you're going to celebrate the environment that you're going into.

00:26:39.366 --> 00:26:45.075
You've always brought value to people and I think we're at a crossroads with leaders today because we've got a lot of here it is.

00:26:45.075 --> 00:26:52.121
We've got a lot of access to information, but we're really low on relationship.

00:26:52.141 --> 00:26:54.742
It's the Facebook thing, Friends come on.

00:26:55.182 --> 00:26:56.124
It's the same thing with pastors.

00:26:56.124 --> 00:27:04.189
So what I see is I see this kind of this graph where there's an access to information at an all-time high.

00:27:04.189 --> 00:27:14.355
People can get podcasts, people can get anything Okay, people can get sermons, they can have friends on social media, but you've got to have presence, you've got to connect.

00:27:14.355 --> 00:27:20.383
That's what I love about the Lead to Win Conference whatever you want to call it and Milestone Church.

00:27:20.383 --> 00:27:21.686
Thank you for opening the doors.

00:27:21.686 --> 00:27:23.090
It's a lot of work what you guys are doing.

00:27:23.090 --> 00:27:25.848
Thank you for making yourself availing.

00:27:25.848 --> 00:27:27.885
We want to learn from Milestone Church.

00:27:27.885 --> 00:27:34.050
Hey, by the way, and I want to say this so why are there several thousand kids coming to youth group on a Wednesday night?

00:27:34.050 --> 00:27:35.545
What is God?

00:27:35.545 --> 00:27:39.009
Because there is a value in learning, structure and strategy.

00:27:39.009 --> 00:27:39.349
There is.

00:27:39.539 --> 00:27:43.290
We can't deny that, and we do want to learn best practices.

00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:49.502
We do want to learn how you guys following up.

00:27:49.502 --> 00:27:50.547
So there's, I'm not diminishing that at all.

00:27:50.547 --> 00:28:00.105
I want to learn that and we're here at that because we have our, our, our church does a fasting and prayer time and you're speaking to our church, which you're on my board, and we're close and our church loves to hear from you.

00:28:00.105 --> 00:28:01.630
You have more points than I do.

00:28:01.630 --> 00:28:06.173
I tell more jokes and they're like finally somebody that's like explaining what they're saying.

00:28:06.192 --> 00:28:07.377
But you were tweaking my point.

00:28:07.377 --> 00:28:08.019
You got my message.

00:28:08.019 --> 00:28:09.799
I was trying to adjust my point.

00:28:09.799 --> 00:28:11.099
It can get a little heady right?

00:28:11.099 --> 00:28:12.819
Just let my points be my points.

00:28:13.301 --> 00:28:14.968
I do a few points and more jokes.

00:28:14.968 --> 00:28:17.579
They remember how much you made them laugh.

00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:18.040
That's true, laugh.

00:28:18.040 --> 00:28:19.423
They don't remember your points.

00:28:19.423 --> 00:28:25.303
People know how you made them feel, not what you've taught them to know.

00:28:25.303 --> 00:28:26.767
Whatever the thing, is.

00:28:27.167 --> 00:28:33.189
So you're speaking to the church, but then, at this gathering, actually, I'm talking about bones and breath.

00:28:33.189 --> 00:28:35.673
Right, so the bones are.

00:28:35.673 --> 00:28:41.262
Yeah, how do you learn how to have this many kids at the youth group and serve them and disciple them, or whatever it is?

00:28:41.262 --> 00:28:45.207
But what we're talking about today, too, is an element of Milestone Church.

00:28:45.207 --> 00:28:48.663
I pastor in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, okay, so I moved here.

00:28:48.663 --> 00:28:50.507
It's like there's all these churches.

00:28:50.507 --> 00:29:16.548
We're talking today, though, about something in the breath of me supernaturally being connected to someone and again, thank God for his grace, I'm not sitting here but being curious and learning and your insights, and I'm always listening having someone outside your environment, someone that not only is celebrating, which that's about 85 percent, right, it's about 15 percent, hey, you might's about 85%.

00:29:16.548 --> 00:29:19.503
It's about 15%, hey, you might think about this usually in relationships.

00:29:19.503 --> 00:29:23.499
I want that for the dad.

00:29:23.499 --> 00:29:30.029
You should have a small group leader, pastor Doug, who's now on your staff, who discipled me when I was in college.

00:29:30.089 --> 00:29:32.304
Who discipled you when you were in college 37 years ago?

00:29:32.324 --> 00:29:34.153
Talk about humility, yeah the guy.

00:29:34.153 --> 00:29:37.634
When you radically got saved, which you have, an amazing testimony.

00:29:37.634 --> 00:29:38.297
People should go.

00:29:38.297 --> 00:29:42.251
Steve Rob, by the way, if you, if they want more content messages.

00:29:42.251 --> 00:29:49.875
Steve Robinsoncom, you're an incredible Bible teacher and one of your stories you always tell us about you had a radical salvation.

00:29:49.875 --> 00:29:54.032
I grew up in a Christian home and you say I was, like you know, saved from birth.

00:29:54.053 --> 00:29:56.277
You're like John the Baptist, saved from the mother's womb.

00:29:56.277 --> 00:29:57.459
I'm like I I.

00:29:57.459 --> 00:29:59.241
That wasn't my story.

00:29:59.603 --> 00:30:04.461
Yeah, my teachers that listened to this would be like he wasn't actually that saved because I was torment for a teacher.

00:30:04.650 --> 00:30:05.111
Let me tell you.

00:30:05.792 --> 00:30:07.175
But you tell the story about.

00:30:07.175 --> 00:30:09.080
Then, after you got saved, doug comes.

00:30:09.080 --> 00:30:12.454
This is back to spiritual relationships and friendship.

00:30:12.454 --> 00:30:14.460
You had to risk it, get saved.

00:30:14.460 --> 00:30:14.961
Risk it.

00:30:14.961 --> 00:30:23.736
Go to Doug's small group, pastor Doug Arman, who's on your staff, who works side by side with you today, and you had to submit to that relationship and listen.

00:30:23.736 --> 00:30:28.977
But then y'all became friends and then think about this he now works with you.

00:30:28.977 --> 00:30:30.200
That's beautiful.

00:30:30.300 --> 00:30:34.740
Yeah, I think it's a picture of the kingdom of God, even with our kids.

00:30:34.740 --> 00:30:35.122
Right?

00:30:35.122 --> 00:30:42.358
Even with our kids it's reverse mentoring we're raising our kids, we're pouring into them and then, at some point in time, they're pouring into us, they're tweaking us.

00:30:43.573 --> 00:30:44.778
My son, who's on our staff now.

00:30:44.778 --> 00:30:48.834
Our two sons before this were telling us don't be teaching too much.

00:30:49.154 --> 00:30:53.359
Y'all are too he's teaching my son's now telling me your points are a little bit long.

00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:58.726
I'm like bro, like I've been hissing a little bit longer than you, but I get it right.

00:31:00.470 --> 00:31:04.095
Different generation, different voice, they're telling me I need to wear makeup on Sunday.

00:31:04.095 --> 00:31:05.556
Okay for the lottery.

00:31:05.757 --> 00:31:06.837
I'm not doing it.

00:31:06.837 --> 00:31:08.058
You're a hunter.

00:31:08.359 --> 00:31:10.122
I will be less, okay.

00:31:10.122 --> 00:31:12.684
I cannot stand in the foyer of our church in Dallas-Fort.

00:31:12.724 --> 00:31:13.425
Worth, you can't do it.

00:31:13.425 --> 00:31:24.536
The pastor four-year of our church at Dallas-Fort Worth, the pastor's got makeup on.

00:31:24.536 --> 00:31:25.740
I'm just going to have to be shiny, it ain't going to happen.

00:31:25.740 --> 00:31:27.044
But again, I want to go back and kind of recap a couple of things.

00:31:27.044 --> 00:31:30.858
Jeff, about winning and I know that you're going to wrap this up, but you asked me the first question about winning and this is huge.

00:31:30.858 --> 00:31:36.861
Yeah, because I know we're kind of going towards something here, but winning, this is important.

00:31:36.861 --> 00:31:40.897
When somebody says I want to be the best, this is important.

00:31:40.897 --> 00:31:42.280
I want everybody to hear me this is really good.

00:31:42.280 --> 00:31:46.180
The best that's called a definite article.

00:31:46.180 --> 00:31:50.519
The best means I'm going to be better than everybody else.

00:31:50.519 --> 00:31:56.301
Yeah, okay, I want to switch the conversation and say I want to be my best.

00:31:56.301 --> 00:31:59.259
God says you need to be your best.

00:31:59.259 --> 00:31:59.780
That's good.

00:31:59.780 --> 00:32:01.657
That's a possessive adjective.

00:32:02.210 --> 00:32:02.731
Indefinite.

00:32:02.731 --> 00:32:10.201
Article V possessive adjective, your, your best is your potential so good.

00:32:10.201 --> 00:32:13.200
And what I love about you is you talk about changing the scoreboard.

00:32:13.200 --> 00:32:15.682
I want to be the best dad that I can be, Leader all those different things.

00:32:15.682 --> 00:32:18.650
Husband, I want to be the best dad that I can be, leader, all those different things.

00:32:18.650 --> 00:32:20.086
I want to be holistic.

00:32:20.228 --> 00:32:31.509
right, it's not winning if I'm by myself in the end zone and there's no team to celebrate and this could affect I mean, as we're talking about it more and more, it can affect sibling relationships.

00:32:31.509 --> 00:32:38.778
It can affect what you were talking about being reverse mentored to your kids, being humble, to listen, allow them to have voice as they grow up.

00:32:38.778 --> 00:32:39.721
They're not kids forever.

00:32:39.721 --> 00:32:42.258
We've transitioned into adult children.

00:32:42.258 --> 00:32:44.155
Someone should have warned me.

00:32:44.155 --> 00:32:45.635
I mean, these are needy people.

00:32:45.789 --> 00:32:49.096
I thought they were more needy when they were babies, I mean, and they got opinions.

00:32:49.096 --> 00:32:53.134
So like it can affect teams, in fact teams, man.

00:32:53.134 --> 00:33:00.806
Think about a pastor, me being friends with you, me relating to you, being secure.

00:33:00.806 --> 00:33:07.782
Think about how that postures me too with my team, because then they know, oh, he interacts in that way as well.

00:33:07.782 --> 00:33:18.029
Just think about the dynamics of that one thought you have not competing with everybody and celebrating others.

00:33:18.029 --> 00:33:19.613
How that could change so many dynamics.

00:33:19.653 --> 00:33:24.833
I think for pastors that have that are what have what's called lead teams.

00:33:24.833 --> 00:33:25.915
I think there's been a shift.

00:33:25.915 --> 00:33:26.678
This is important.

00:33:26.678 --> 00:33:27.540
I want to say two things.

00:33:27.540 --> 00:33:31.282
There's been a shift where a senior pastor has an assistant pastor.

00:33:31.384 --> 00:33:35.612
In essence, old school thinking is who basically does whatever the pastor can't get to?

00:33:35.612 --> 00:33:37.673
Okay, that's like the typical.

00:33:37.673 --> 00:33:39.115
That's the assistant pastor.

00:33:39.115 --> 00:33:42.096
The pastor's busy, he doesn't have time to do that.

00:33:42.096 --> 00:33:46.420
Ie, if he did, he'd be able to do that, right.

00:33:46.420 --> 00:33:53.625
Okay, an executive team model is where a pastor has people around him that are actually gifted in areas he's not.

00:33:53.625 --> 00:33:56.327
Yeah, so I think that that's the ability to celebrate.

00:33:56.327 --> 00:34:01.481
So when somebody understands their call, their assignment, their races against their potential, their church is unique.

00:34:01.481 --> 00:34:11.199
Again, preach the word, the scripture, all that Orthodox theology, but at the same time, there's people around them and this is how you have good team members, right?

00:34:11.199 --> 00:34:25.400
So if your team member is around the table simply because they're doing things you can't get to, versus they're doing things you're not gifted to do, there's a big difference, which is going to require celebrating and being secure enough to listen to their input.

00:34:25.461 --> 00:34:28.358
Yeah, that's right, but those are friendship skills too.

00:34:28.358 --> 00:34:36.742
I just think growing in friendship and relationship and these dynamics can just impact so many areas of your life.

00:34:36.762 --> 00:34:37.543
Well, lonely leaders.

00:34:37.543 --> 00:34:43.282
Leaders are lonely and again, I think it goes back to how they view others, how they view themselves.

00:34:43.282 --> 00:34:53.860
Leaders are, I mean, burning out, crashing out, browning out, everything out, getting out, getting out, and so much of it goes back to they're lonely in relationship.

00:34:53.860 --> 00:34:54.181
They are.

00:34:54.181 --> 00:34:55.536
You know how many times we've celebrated.

00:34:55.536 --> 00:35:04.202
We have a good friend of ours and this was really a wonderful thing, he said, but also a scary snapshot on the body of Christ.

00:35:04.202 --> 00:35:05.815
He opened up a campus.

00:35:05.815 --> 00:35:11.539
They did amazing and he shot me the numbers and said man, would you rejoice with me in this?

00:35:11.791 --> 00:35:11.891
And.

00:35:11.952 --> 00:35:19.333
I said absolutely, I'm so thrilled and he said thank you for rejoicing with me in this campus launch.

00:35:19.333 --> 00:35:22.815
It made me indictment on the body of Christ that we can't celebrate.

00:35:22.835 --> 00:35:42.909
Yes, we learn Gosh?

00:35:42.931 --> 00:35:43.994
do I have to go through the drill again?

00:35:43.994 --> 00:35:44.896
Yes, we're inspired.

00:35:44.896 --> 00:35:45.579
Yes, we learn.

00:35:45.579 --> 00:35:47.456
Yes, we're competitive by nature.

00:35:47.456 --> 00:35:51.318
But oh, man, we have an assignment Right.

00:35:51.318 --> 00:35:52.242
You know where his church is?

00:35:52.329 --> 00:35:54.054
I know, you know where they are, you know where I am.

00:35:54.074 --> 00:35:56.621
Yeah, yeah, so you've got to be willing to do it.

00:35:56.641 --> 00:35:57.384
I know who he is, yeah.

00:35:57.530 --> 00:36:00.137
You've got to be willing to celebrate wins man with other friends.

00:36:00.137 --> 00:36:00.900
How many?

00:36:00.920 --> 00:36:03.769
pastors Actually you and him if we're going to be transparent on this podcast.

00:36:03.769 --> 00:36:10.039
Wait be careful because he don't use his name.

00:36:10.039 --> 00:36:11.121
We don't use his name.

00:36:11.121 --> 00:36:21.722
Christmas services I'm trying to keep my faith up and y'all did a text thread saying that y'all watched my first service and y'all were trying to get me to come down and do a makeover on me.

00:36:22.030 --> 00:36:23.653
No, your pocket square was.

00:36:23.653 --> 00:36:25.056
It was too loud.

00:36:25.056 --> 00:36:27.802
I'm serious, and the two of you are thin.

00:36:27.862 --> 00:36:29.952
You look like little golfers, you know.

00:36:29.952 --> 00:36:31.936
Look, I'm a Texas man.

00:36:31.936 --> 00:36:34.219
I'm comfortable with what I was wearing.

00:36:34.219 --> 00:36:36.603
But I was trying to speaking of security.

00:36:36.603 --> 00:36:42.400
I'm trying to stand out in front of people, be jolly be.

00:36:42.420 --> 00:36:46.059
Christmas I thought my pocket square was amazing until you told me it wasn't.

00:36:46.059 --> 00:36:46.501
It was happy.

00:36:46.501 --> 00:36:47.608
It was overly happy, it was overly excited.

00:36:47.608 --> 00:36:54.157
We're like brother, we got to lower it down a little bit, you said, I got my shoes at some one-off store.

00:36:54.157 --> 00:36:57.782
No, and again the relationship.

00:36:57.782 --> 00:37:03.318
Jeff, you're easy to be a friend with and I wish other pastors out there had that.

00:37:03.318 --> 00:37:05.943
They can have that yeah they can they can have that.

00:37:05.983 --> 00:37:06.364
Here's the thing.

00:37:06.364 --> 00:37:08.836
Don't throw in the towel.

00:37:08.836 --> 00:37:10.715
Everybody's against me, right?

00:37:10.715 --> 00:37:12.335
Nobody's for me?

00:37:12.335 --> 00:37:15.518
Yeah, it's going to be my wife and I and Jesus.

00:37:15.518 --> 00:37:18.393
Well, you're just strange and you're hurt by the way.

00:37:18.393 --> 00:37:19.737
That person that says that is hurt.

00:37:19.818 --> 00:37:20.199
They're hurt.

00:37:20.199 --> 00:37:25.516
They've been hurt by maybe trying to have a friend in the congregation or something, and every time we've seen that.

00:37:25.670 --> 00:37:27.119
But you can't have some friends in the congregation?

00:37:27.119 --> 00:37:27.501
You can.

00:37:27.989 --> 00:37:29.135
I have friends in the congregation.

00:37:29.135 --> 00:37:31.791
What I'm saying is something happened though.

00:37:31.791 --> 00:37:38.016
And every time that leader makes that choice, we have seen that environment get toxic.

00:37:38.016 --> 00:37:42.298
But the Bible says a man who isolates himself rages against all sound wisdom.

00:37:42.298 --> 00:37:42.639
That's right.

00:37:42.639 --> 00:37:45.880
Well, you have been a great big brother, Thank you.

00:37:45.880 --> 00:37:50.164
My world is better, Honestly who I am.

00:37:50.164 --> 00:37:57.172
And again, maybe episode two you could structure people you have and I want to say this Are you recruiting me for another episode?

00:37:57.193 --> 00:38:00.452
By the way, Jeff is the best recruiter in the body of Christ.

00:38:00.552 --> 00:38:04.246
Okay, I've already signed you to multiple episode deal.

00:38:04.286 --> 00:38:09.179
Church of the King is going to become milestone East, but anyway, go ahead.

00:38:10.262 --> 00:38:16.900
But I think you have one of the greatest strategic gifts too just to see the end, better than anyone I know.

00:38:16.900 --> 00:38:21.021
So it's helped me see further, believe for more.

00:38:21.021 --> 00:38:32.597
It can be slightly tormenting from time to time, but because I know we're called together, it's made me better and I want you to know that and I think that's back to the breath.

00:38:32.597 --> 00:38:34.759
There's an ethos at Milestone that people don't know a lot of times.

00:38:34.759 --> 00:38:35.362
It's more than the preaching.

00:38:35.362 --> 00:38:37.431
There's a, there's a ethos at milestone that people don't know a lot of times.

00:38:37.431 --> 00:38:38.476
It's more than the preaching.

00:38:38.476 --> 00:38:39.822
It's more than the youth ministry.

00:38:39.822 --> 00:38:46.802
It's a relational dynamic of of you and I and some other relationships and friendships and spiritual relationships.

00:38:46.802 --> 00:38:48.713
We have that that.

00:38:48.713 --> 00:38:50.318
I just want that for people.

00:38:50.318 --> 00:38:51.641
I just want that for them.

00:38:51.871 --> 00:38:52.231
I want to.

00:38:52.231 --> 00:38:57.512
I want to end with this because I think it's important Again.

00:38:57.512 --> 00:38:59.463
I've been a pastor to you for 25 years, Our church.

00:38:59.463 --> 00:39:07.418
In so many areas you know you've modeled and kind of shot for doing the last number of years, God has just supernaturally blessed your church.

00:39:07.418 --> 00:39:11.429
It's incredible, the church that God's called you to pastor and it's interesting.

00:39:11.429 --> 00:39:19.773
On our staff I was like guys, go find out what Milestone's doing.

00:39:19.773 --> 00:39:20.456
How are they learning that man?

00:39:20.456 --> 00:39:22.461
This is so good and it was a little bit of a shift with them because it was like timeout.

00:39:22.461 --> 00:39:22.902
Milestone looks to us.

00:39:22.902 --> 00:39:23.826
We're kind of like been the model.

00:39:23.826 --> 00:39:35.121
No, no, no, we want to learn, we need to humble ourselves, we need to grow and that's even been a transition with us where I think, if you have that heart to learn, to grow, to expand, to be curious.

00:39:39.670 --> 00:39:50.123
So we're championing you, we're learning from you guys, we're excited about what God's doing with Milestone Church and I want to say this Keep leading, keep serving, keep giving.

00:39:50.123 --> 00:39:51.105
We're watching.

00:39:51.105 --> 00:39:55.240
The body of Christ needs a strong, and I do believe God has given you.

00:39:55.240 --> 00:39:58.054
I got to say this one thing Everybody's in a leadership.

00:39:58.054 --> 00:40:00.679
Thank God for your pastoral grace and gift.

00:40:00.679 --> 00:40:09.351
And I mean that because and I love leadership you and I write and talk on leadership, but I want to know what it means to be a pastor.

00:40:09.351 --> 00:40:10.695
People need to know.

00:40:10.695 --> 00:40:17.278
It's like the returning of the gift of pastor to the body of Christ, like that's in the Bible.

00:40:17.278 --> 00:40:20.579
Right, we didn't get into becoming, we didn't go into the ministry to be a leader.

00:40:20.579 --> 00:40:23.117
We wanted to be a pastor or an evangelist.

00:40:23.117 --> 00:40:39.134
So, thank you, god is using you of kind of, in a sense kind of reawakening in the hearts of younger leaders to say, hey, it's okay to say I'm a pastor, you're leading the way and we're championing and following in so many ways.

00:40:39.434 --> 00:40:40.398
Thank you so much, man.

00:40:40.398 --> 00:40:51.213
I'm actually working on a resource called Win, with People Returning to the Call of a Shepherd Wow and so I'm working on for young leaders exploring their call and what does it mean to shepherd?

00:40:51.213 --> 00:40:52.458
Take care of pastor people?

00:40:52.458 --> 00:40:54.918
We talk about resources all the time.

00:40:54.918 --> 00:40:58.213
You have a more acute teaching gift.

00:40:58.213 --> 00:41:06.760
You have a degree in rhetoric, which you say means nothing, but it does make you an incredible teacher and I want to end the session too.

00:41:06.760 --> 00:41:14.478
Also, you write a lot of resources, but this is your most recent one Decide to Thrive, and I've just been looking over it.

00:41:14.478 --> 00:41:15.280
I just got it.

00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:18.610
We just got them, it just came out but.

00:41:18.791 --> 00:41:30.436
But looking at these decisions we can make, you know, like we, we are the sum total of these decisions that we make, and, and, and I, and I think this would be a great resource and I and you're going to be teaching on it.

00:41:30.436 --> 00:41:36.222
Steve Robinsoncom, you have other resources, things for pastors, thank you, you for you.

00:41:36.222 --> 00:41:45.577
I like the fact, because I've been receiving from these thoughts for years, but I like now you're also at a phase of your life where you're able to put some of this down on paper.

00:41:45.858 --> 00:41:50.498
We've talked about this for years the most, the most disempowering place to be is a place of a victim.

00:41:50.498 --> 00:41:57.501
And when you, this book is all it's six six choices for life change that really make a difference, that really work in your life.

00:41:57.501 --> 00:42:04.322
And we talk about biblical values and making daily decisions in alignment with biblical values, which is an empowering life.

00:42:04.322 --> 00:42:04.884
That's good.

00:42:04.884 --> 00:42:09.929
Victimization is disempowering right, the Bible is empowering, and so this book is.

00:42:09.929 --> 00:42:13.152
Decide to Thrive six choices for life change that really work.

00:42:13.172 --> 00:42:23.681
I'm looking forward to it and again, looking forward to the messages you're going to preach out of this because you're going to take your whole church We'll have 10,000 people in small groups in our church going through this curriculum.

00:42:23.701 --> 00:42:26.262
Again, people can get it at SteveRobinsoncom.

00:42:26.262 --> 00:42:26.864
They can go there.

00:42:26.864 --> 00:42:31.648
And I will say this last thing too I know you've talked about when is your book coming out on your dissertation?

00:42:31.648 --> 00:42:33.692
When is your book coming out?

00:42:33.692 --> 00:42:35.295
I want to make sure we tease that out there.

00:42:35.335 --> 00:42:36.697
You and I did our doctorate together.

00:42:36.697 --> 00:42:39.284
My research emphasis was on leadership and trauma.

00:42:39.284 --> 00:42:50.202
How you know, leaders are traumatized and how do you uh, how does the brain healed through trauma and how to stay in the game as a leader, and so that we we did our entire doctorate together.

00:42:50.449 --> 00:42:54.197
You got all A's and let's just say I had a good time.

00:42:54.376 --> 00:43:00.516
No, you got all A's you did, but that book will be my doctoral dissertation in a popular format for leaders.

00:43:00.536 --> 00:43:06.717
It's your doctoral dissertation on leaders facing trauma I've heard you give that talk in two or three settings.

00:43:06.717 --> 00:43:14.403
Massive impact, I mean, and it isn't always just the leader who's maybe experienced it.

00:43:14.403 --> 00:43:16.128
I've met a lot of people go well, I had a staff member.

00:43:16.128 --> 00:43:17.090
People go well, I had a staff member.

00:43:17.090 --> 00:43:22.735
I had my wife or I had a kid, and they want to know the information to be able to help someone they love too.

00:43:22.894 --> 00:43:24.380
So it's all the way around.

00:43:24.380 --> 00:43:27.271
You can be healed from a traumatized brain.

00:43:27.271 --> 00:43:28.614
You can the power of Christ.

00:43:29.135 --> 00:43:29.637
Power of Christ.

00:43:29.637 --> 00:43:31.521
Thank you All right, this has been amazing, awesome.