WEBVTT
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I think the key to surviving pain is having pain partners.
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Pain partners.
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Pain partners.
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So good.
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These don't have to be highly spiritual or highly whatever.
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You just need people who believe more in you than you believe in yourself.
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So good.
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Today I want to welcome each and every one of you back to the Lead to Win podcast.
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And we have a special treat for this episode.
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We have my longtime friend, Dr.
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Sam Chan.
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It's just an honor to have you here with us.
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It's a joy to be here and to see what God has allowed you to do, and uh the lead to win and the traction's getting, and leaders all over our understanding that we lead to win.
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Yeah.
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You know, I I actually a personal connection between me and Dr.
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Chan.
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I mean, I know some of you out there have obviously read he's got many resources in the leadership space.
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Um, one of his best books on culture.
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Uh I know so many leaders, both business and pastors.
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I I always want to remind people um this podcast, it it is in the space.
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I am a pastor, but I've also coached business leaders for over 30 years and discipled them and um you know build teams.
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And and so you've you've been in the space of being a college president, you've been in the space of coaching business leaders, you've also been for pastors like me being a part of that.
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So, in some level, I mean, really it's it leadership transcends all of those environments.
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Absolutely it does.
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And doesn't matter what you do, you know, if you're playing uh football on the field or you're coaching the sidelines or you're pastoring or you're an entrepreneur or you're a business person, doesn't matter who you are, uh you are leading.
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You are leading.
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If you're if you're a mom or a dad at home, you know, I mean, wow.
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If you can lead there, you're in trouble, right?
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So you're leading everywhere you go.
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So leadership is not something of a title, it's not something of a role.
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It is it's not what you do, it's who you are.
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It's who you are.
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And I I want to dig in that today because you love to talk about, and really today's focus is I want to talk to a person listening to this podcast, probably has some desire to grow, right?
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I mean, why would you listen to the podcast?
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You're curious, you're intrigued, maybe you've hit a place where you need new insights to go to the new place that you're called to go.
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So I want to I want to talk about the growth mindset.
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I want to talk about not just growing the business, but growing you.
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I want to go there, but to set it up a little bit more, uh, you again have been recognized around the world, done leadership consulting, speaking.
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You're an author.
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You're actually, you and I actually uh had some time together thinking, coaching, giving me some ideas.
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You're always such a an inspiration to me to help someone on the outside have a picture, but you've also today spoken to about 400 business leaders.
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And so um, all of those things, um, you've you've authored over a dozen influential books, Leadership Pain.
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Wow, we could do the whole session on that.
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That book buzzed around uh the pastoral community for sure.
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Because whether people realize it or not, yeah, it can be painful being a pastor, can't it?
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Very much so.
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Um who's holding your ladder in the one I spoke about, culture catalyst, because we know culture is really where it's it's it's all really centered at um writings, teachings in the area of of leadership, but but your focus being that we have to become more than just do, and that growth always comes with a cost.
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That there's always right, and so I want to talk about that today.
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Um so personal insight, I want to give everybody this.
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So, years ago, I believe 14 years ago, um, you and I had met before that, and we'd had some mutual friends.
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I invited you in.
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You spent a considerable amount of time looking at my team.
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You went to dinner with my wife and I, met our family, you spent some time in our culture, you you you you listen, and then basically just said, hey, here's what I what I see, which is interesting sometimes as a consultant because you're basically just telling them stuff they know at some level.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Right?
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But it still is, and so you actually sent me over the report.
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I still have it, but I hadn't looked at it in a long time.
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And I'm kind of thinking, how do we even get here?
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I look at all those problems.
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Yeah, I mean, they seemed insurmountable in 2011.
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They did, they did.
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But the good thing is, it was not the report, it was not my presence.
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You knew that you had more winds in you.
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You knew there was greater capacity.
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It was just uh elusive to you.
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You know, it's never ask fish the taste of water, right?
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Because fish is uh swimming in the water, it's hard to see around you because you're immersed in it, especially as a pastor.
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Right.
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Because you're loving people, you are counseling with people, you are preaching to people, you're prayful.
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So you are in that ecosystem.
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So I remember our uh two conversations that we had at that uh about a year apart in there.
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So when I was here, I did not tell you anything you didn't already know.
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You told me a few things.
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Well, you you did say on our processes side, this is historic, and you're so kind and loving.
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So I'm not painting you as a bad person, but you said your processes are kindergarten, to which I had a rebuttal.
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Can we get to third grade, Sam?
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I mean, could we maybe be third grade?
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Yeah.
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I think in intrinsically you kind of knew on the inside that your systems your growth had outgrown your systems.
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Right.
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That's what it was.
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Right.
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So, but we all know that if you want to keep growing, your systems have to be robust and sustainable enough to capture that.
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But you are here doing what you're doing and encouraging thousands of leaders internationally and nationally on how to lead to win, because you went through that space yourself.
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So when I read your book, you you sent it to me.
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That's so kind of you sending me that book.
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When I read the book, I said, wow.
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This book.
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And I remember texting you now.
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Yeah.
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And I said to you, this book should be in every pastor's hand.
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And more than that, this book should be a must-read, a required read in Christian Bible colleges, institutes, seminaries, uh, universities.
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Yes.
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Because leads to win is not about just this is what you do.
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Because doing changes with our context.
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Right.
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It was more about this is how you need to think about it.
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Right.
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If this is who you are, then behave that like that.
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Right.
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And that's what caught my attention as to how you said it and uh your sarcasm.
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There's one sentence in the book that you say there are more ways to uh live an awful life than being a pastor.
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Yeah.
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I I I I learned that early on.
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I think one of my ways of saying it is there's more lucrative ways to be miserable.
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And you say that in there.
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And I'm like, you would only choose this path if you really feel called and you feel a sense of stewardship for what God loves the most, and that's his people.
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And and I don't believe that stops at pastors.
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You're speaking of the book that I wrote called Win With People.
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It's in it, we'll link it in the description, uh, along with some resources you're currently working on that that are really all about serving people, right?
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They're really all about developing people, growing people, helping people.
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Um, and and I I wrote that book, you're right, you know, from even the journey of say 2011.
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Um I consider myself a fairly ordinary, everyday small town, grew up, took steps.
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But if I would be able to offer something to anyone, would be be hungry, be inquisitive, you know.
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So I look back at that report and I remember and the thinking about it.
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And it isn't always even the strategy you've laid out.
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I look back on it and God took us here, and he, but but I think just our willingness to say, I want to be honest about where I am.
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And I I think that's one of the biggest hindrances a lot of times is not just the curiousness to grow, but the willingness to have a ruthless evaluation.
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Again, you were kind and you were very much on my team.
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I could feel that.
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You wanted me to win.
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And so our dialogues were about a lot of times me seeing myself properly, and you do have more wins in you, but I do think that a lot of people don't really want a ruthless inventory of where they are.
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That report also included maybe some stuff I knew, but I was definitely keeping it in the background.
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Hey, here's a problem with an employee that you probably need to address.
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They're not doing well, or here's a barrier.
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And a lot of people aren't willing to look in that mirror.
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Well, it's it's painful.
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Yeah.
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And I think we all we are built with pain avoidance.
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We run towards pleasure and we run from pain.
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And working with people, doesn't matter which sector you're in, you know, ministry, marketplace, church, corporate, wherever you're at, anytime you're working with people, it's going to be painful.
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It's true.
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And painful not necessarily in a dysfunctional way, but painful all the same.
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Because, for example, as a CEO of a company or a pastor of a church, you see that potential in that person.
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And you know they are not not just not reaching it, they are not uh reaching for it.
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Right.
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You know, reaching it is one thing, but reaching for it and you don't see the hunger, you don't see the curiosity, they don't you don't see uh their level of engagement.
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And and and that brings a lot of disappointment, a lot of pain because you know that they have more in them.
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So true.
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I remember I remember I was uh growing up, and and every parent will understand this.
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We you know, because I was bringing uh straight D's home, uh and I remember my parents saying, you can do better.
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Yeah, they believed in me, yeah, but there's no movement on my part, and that brought them pain.
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Right.
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And I think that is the part that we have to say to people there is more in you.
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Right.
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We are image bearers, we are created in the image of God.
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There is a segment of infinity in all of us, and reaching for that infinity, always growing, always maturing, always reaching, always leading, always trying to say, where can I do better?
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So, in my life, for example, Pastor Jeff, I want to be a better husband, right?
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I want to be a better father, I want to be a better grandfather, I want to be better at home, I want to be a better speaker, I want to be a better author.
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I want to be better.
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Yes.
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And that kind of drives you to say, where can I improve?
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What can I do different?
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And uh and I see that in you all along.
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You know, you are a discoverer, you are a pioneer, you're willing to go places many would not want to go.
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Uh, I had the privilege of walking through your your facilities here in Keller, Texas.
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Amazing, humongous.
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But that is not, it's never about the building.
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Somebody had to think it.
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Right?
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And thinking needs audacity.
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Uh, because there are you had a hundred reasons why you couldn't do it, but then there were those three reasons that said, be audacious about it.
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Yeah.
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Why do you want to die?
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Could I would or should I life?
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This is not a rehearsal, this is a real thing.
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You won't get to, you know, you don't get to do a do-over on this.
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That's right.
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You know, once you exit this planet, next thing you're gonna be uh with the Lord.
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So the so when I see that in you, always rising, always pushing, always striving, always reaching for.
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Yes.
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So a lot of people say, well, they have not reached.
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That's that's different from reaching.
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Yeah.
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You know, constantly reaching.
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Oh, I mean, uh I I'll just today, okay.
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So I have two phone calls with people that are important in in what I'm involved in.
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And they want to talk about their life.
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They want to talk about their future.
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We had a list of things to talk about, but what do they want to talk with their pastor, their their closest person building with?
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Let's talk about my life.
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Let's talk about and so, and then I thought it was interesting that I also had a phone call with a leader who has a small team who is starting something that's that's fairly embryonic, but it has captured some growth and it's getting momentum.
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And he actually was saying to me about his team, what is the number one thing that I want to impart?
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You know, because he was talking about listening to the podcast and all of this.
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And I said, the magic is when your belief in them matches their passion and hunger, it isn't about I want to reach this, as you said, but they're reaching for, but you also have assessed their capacity and ability and hunger, that's when the magic happens.
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Because when you find a leader who has a team of people who they see in them that hunger, or even you as a as a coach or a consultant or your leadership institute for you, you're already passionate about what they could be.
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But isn't it so exciting when that is matched with the people you're working with?
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Absolutely you know, I mean, it's like we have so many people today uh who want to reach great things, but at a basic level, it's like if you would up your passion, intensity, desire, hunger, curiosity.
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It's amazing, just that simple thing.
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What happens?
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Absolutely.
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In the last few years, Pastor Jeff, I have created or walked into a newer appreciation for the word imagination.
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Uh imagination of what could be, imagination of uh how I could be part of somebody else's life, imagination.
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So when people get married, they're imagining them.
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So you know, you go to a store and you're you're trying on some stuff you are imagining.
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Uh you know, when I go with my wife shopping, she's saying, I'm imagining this top with that shirt in my closet.
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But the closet is uh 15 miles away.
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But she but in her imagination, she can see that.
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When you're when you're cooking a good uh bowl of spaghetti, you know, you're imagining.
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They say realtors say if they can get the people in the house imagining their furniture, they know they have it sold.
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There you go.
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Yeah.
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And I think somewhere in our leadership journey, we have lost imagination.
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And I tell you why I think that is.
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But let me back up and say this.
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So we all know that a child grows more by the age of three than they will the rest of their life.
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Uh by the age of three, they know hot, cold, uh, floor, water.
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Uh they ask questions about why, why, why, and we try to shut them down.
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And and we succeed in that.
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And then they go to school, and in kindergarten, there's a little imagination in first grade, lesser imagination, high school, almost no imagination because everything is told.
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You're not imagining anything.
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Right.
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And by the time you get your doctorate, you write, well, you've done it, you you you write dissertation on a topic that nobody else has ever written on.
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And and so now it is not imagination, it is data.
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Right.
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And you collate all of that to your hypothesis, to your question, and you come up with that.
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So the way our educational system is built is the child goes to school with all kinds of imagination.
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You know, they can play for hours in the room by themselves.
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But then imagination goes away.
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Yeah.
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And now in our world, uh, I can Google church growth.
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I don't really imagine it.
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I can just take the best off.
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Right.
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You know, I can I can Google uh uh service transitions.
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So there's or tell AI now and they'll just they'll invent you your whole church right there, right?
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There you go.
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There you go.
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So I think if you could if I could imagine, when I when I came to the United States in 1973, uh I landed here in 1973, but for years before that, growing up in India in a pastor's home, I was imagining you know, what if I went, if I could get a visa, what would that be?
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I mean, you were you were actually the janitor, I mean, at Beulah Heights, later you became its president in this higher education world that you have influence in, that you were talking about my book that you're talking to them.
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I mean, you have this influence in that space, but you were the janitor.
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How important was imagination in that?
00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:46.319
I didn't have imagination at that point.
00:18:46.400 --> 00:18:48.559
I had imagined because reality hit me.
00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:48.960
Okay.
00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:49.359
Okay.
00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:52.960
It's like my only imagination is how do I get out of here?
00:18:53.119 --> 00:18:54.720
Because I I don't want to be a janitor.
00:18:54.799 --> 00:18:57.039
So I was a janitor, breakfast cook, and dishwasher.