Where Would We Go?

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot Il, a production of My Heart Radio Piece of Love. Y'all. Jill Scott presents Jay dot Ill with my sister plans A Jay and I'm Jill Scott. Hello, Hello, Hello world, what's up? Although this is new for you, this is something that the three of us have been doing for years and we thought it's the right time to share what's in our heads and hearts with you because we want you to think. You know what I'm saying. We really do want you to start and spark conversation. We want you to maybe reanalyze something. You know what I mean. I think it's over. Yes, see what's really going on in there? Yeah? I for one, am really really honored to be in this situation because who doesn't want to yacht with their girlfriends and share with the world. Uh many times I've wanted to share my multiple group texts with everyone. But you know, after now twenty two years of marriage, about twenty five years in the music business, and you know, for those of you who don't know me, I'm in a group with my husband called Kendred the Family Soul and it's EXAM and we have six whole kids, six whole children, and uh, you know, just living in this world and being a creative and experience in this And of course you know that I've known Joe Scott for almost that entire time, actually longer than that. I've known her since before I was ever even married, So we've watched each other grow and experienced life in so many ways. So I'm exiety to get a chance to kind of chime in about all that we've done. Yeah. Yes, I always considered myself fortunate enough to even have these relationships with these two women number one and and number two, to have it for so long. Like Asia said, for me, I think we all kind of met around the same time. Maybe I came in a couple of years later, but we are a couple of decades of this relationship. And who would have thought me on a random trip to Montreal, Switzerland, that I would have met this singer in this afro with this left the jacket on named Jill Scott, and that would have developed into this sisterhood as I moved to Philly randomly and became this radio host that I could always depend on, And it's so crazy that I could always depend on not only you, but Asia just as a radio girl in Philadelphia, Like whenever I called y'all answer and even outside of just work, we played, we have fun, we laugh, We've been two shows together, we've been keep Key together. So it's just a privilege should be able to not only bring that energy in that spirit with so many sisters enjoy with their girlfriends to displace, but to also share just all aspects of y'all who people just really don't know. They just don't they you think you know, Asia and Jill, Oh, but you're about to be you just you about to get it all and be so fulfilled at who these women really are. You're gonna get some some I can't get everything. You can't help it. They you won't be able to help it. Jill. Yeah. The way it goes is that we started talking, then we forget that. The mix is yeah, this this kind of thing does happen. Yes, because but like I said, and and we'll always continue to say, Um, this is the point in purpose is to spark conversation. You may not like what we're talking about. You you love how we how we communicate between each other and what we're saying. You might um, but we're going to give you references We're gonna give you some interesting perspectives. The goal is to spark that conversation and to get us thinking and moving and moving. Yeah. I'm excited too because I feel like a lot of people will look at us and go, Okay, these are two sisters. They're probably got a lot in common, and we do, but we also have a lot of differences, you know, like even in from Asia being a mom and mom to six on that level and me being a single person to Jill whatever. We're gonna drop status divorce okay three times. Yeah, and I got blanket. But like I said, I gave you so I can't. I can't promise you everything, but I tell you I will be as honest and open as I possible with man. We are gonna be talking about love and uh, pretty much every aspect of existing. Um. I know that that SAME's big, but but this gift of life is gigantic, and I believe you got to investigate the thing in order to understand why that why they are you here? What is the purpose and point of your existence? Um, it's not that philosophical, but it is. Sometimes Sometimes we're gonna be talking about uh, scrowing, and we're gonna talk about parents, and we're gonna talk about being angry and how to deal with that and and should your bus a bit. We're gonna talk about Yeah, we're gonna talk about out um family and love lives and um new books, thoughts, all kinds of thoughts for so many purposes, so many purposes. We're gonna talk about our hair, We're gonna talk about occasionally, we're gonna grab some some weight and then talk about that meat in these places. Yes, man hate is that we so I would love to talk about the man meat. Okay, yes, delicious. And of course, of course we don't want to bother y'all with just us, even though we're enough. Amen. But we're definitely going to be having a few guests on. They're gonna be sharing some of their experiences with us and you know, opening up our minds and hopefully opening up yours and cackling. And we're not always gonna just uh speak out random facts. We're still going to give like you, resources and ways to actually find some solutions to some of these issues that we're talking about. What yah yah, because you need too someone, come on, come on, come on. These opinions that we have they're going to change. We are involving people, you know what I'm saying. So these thoughts and opinions, you know, it might change the next the very next day because we found out some ship. You know, we learned something from somebody, or we learned something because we read a new book, or um, we had a new encounter. So you know, um very much in this this cold culture of canceling people. Um, you're gonna do yourself a disservice. Don't do yourself a disservice. Don't cancel me, consider me darling dollars. Well, now that you know about us, let's go talk yo, ship woman, be ready, let's get into it all right. So today we've been talking about trying to figure out if we're actually going to lead this country real rap, real rap, Like the what's happening here is so mind boggling, and what's been happening for so long. There's been police brutality in the United States for longer than you can't name, since the beginning, since the very beginning of this country. It's been here. We're dealing with drug addictions, we're dealing with prison systems since the beginning, and here we are in and we're trying to figure out are we going to stay here? Because it's a big world. What you think, like, yeah, you know what's funny, Jil, I always wanted to have a place like somewhere else. In my mind. I was like, yeah, I'll have a place somewhere like Brazil or Morocco or something like that. But you know, it's interesting because post COVID, you gotta read just everything, right if you just thinking, shout out to everybody who's been to the Black son Ian I like to call it on the National Museum of African American History and Culture in d C. You realize that all these different perpetrators of the slavery situation, that narrows down your choices Portugal, Britain, ex because they're gonna have all the same problems that we have, right like all the places that they calonized and the places and the places. So that's where it got confusing for me. I'm still in the shoes. It was gonna be Canada, and then my man came out and he had the black face. Were always say it was going to be Canada, But I felt like for me, the heat situation, like I feel like if I gotta go someplace permanently. I just can't deal with winter. So I was like, you know what, that cut out a whole half of the world for me. I was like, I said, that's not gonna work. But you know, Canada was was definitely in the running. I just was like, I can't deal with you know, because and for as far as their politics and everything is concerned, but the geography was the issue for me. So of course I started trying to move below. But then the anti blackness is strong in the earth, right Yeah, So everywhere I was looking, I was like, man, dang, you know, you gotta look between the lines, and you're just like, wait a minute. I've been dealing with all the same stuff no matter where I go, the same damn stuff. And so it kind of leaves you thinking like, what what what are we gonna do? So you find yourself the lesser of the evils conversations right exactly. And I, you know, and I found myself thinking about or what does that mean? Where does that place me? And honestly, it's the black culture of it all that makes it bearable. It's like, that's how I bear the anti blackness is being able to be in my face with my folks. My folks make it better. And if I go somewhere where they're not and I'm not saying a diaspora. I love the diaspora. You know what I'm saying. Who don't when you go and you see a brown face, a brown faces, a brown face, the black faces, a black face. But that person that has the shared experience with you, you know what I mean, Like that place where you can have when you say not later and they know there's no w in that. You understand what I'm saying, I do. And so with much deliberation, I have to stay a just staying. I'm staying, just staying. Forgive me, I'm a garden variety Negro, and I have to be with my people. Gag. Are you in the best state and city for your people? Because you know there are some some cities offering you to come move there. I was just reading an article on traveling the war, so I was curious. I was like, what about like in the country, would you I could do the country because y'all know what I've been looking at. Though they got this whole community of people now hear me out, they call them schoolies right where they get school buses and tournament too many into tiny homes. It's a whole community, y'all. Check its a hashtag. School is with a K S K O O l I e s school toilet They gut toilets on a girl you could put damn. What do you call them? On the top that catch the sunlight and make give you let you watch TV. Solar panel a solar panel that I don't know, baby Mama like space. I love having some space. That's a thing. And I thought about that. I looked online today trying to find a house in Canada, looking in Toronto, and I was like, well, wait a minute. I thought it was cheap. Wait a minute, if I'm trying to get you know, five or six bedroom house, you know, if five bedrooms or I mean bathrooms or more like, wait a minute, I don't think I'm quite ready. I don't think. I don't think I'm quite ready. The prices for something that I would like was upwards of four or five million dollars, you know what I'm saying, like today, And then on top of that, I don't know Canada like that, so I don't know what neighborhood that's in. I found an article about how Ribbean countries are settling citizenship to Americans who want to avoid the travel restrictions. So I was like, would you consider like an island so Saint Kids, it's offering a package of four people for a hundred and fifty dollars sat Kids places like St Kids. I think Barbados is actually is doing this as well. I had a three week vacation on the island one time, and about two and a half weeks into it, I was like, all right, ready to go home. But so you know, I just felt like we all underestimate the the beauty of a bustling lifestyle, like I think, because we all get into these moments where we need that time to like relax and get out of the hustle and bustle. It's one thing when you're born into that island lifestyle, it's in your blood, it's in your you know it's in you. But when you're not, like she said, about two weeks and you're looking around thinking like goodness. I took the beach walk, I saw the moon, I watched the stars, I drank the drinks, I ate the food like I went in the waterfall, I climbed up the Mountain, I saw the volcano. Uh, you know, and then after that, it's when you're accustomed to the hustle and bustle of life, it is very hard to change your mindset. Not that it's impossible, it's not impossible, but uh, that is a that's a challenge. I just feel like the adventurous part of me wants to believe that I am the person that I'm somebody who is like, come on, let's go. We could do it, you know what I'm saying. And my husband he talking about something. Girl, you ain't going nowhere, and I'm I'm I'm angry. We don't got into a full of argument about the ship. I'm not listening. I'm not small minded, sir. I will live someplace else. Well, first of all, he said, first time somebody goes somewhere, ain't got your right coffee. You're about to come on home. So I already know. He said, you go, you go two weeks here, and then you're sitting back for the rest of us. There's let me know after two weeks, if you still want to be there, then then we're gonna come. We'll be back after the break. I've really been considering, Uh, Holland, you know, and you were like, what about Pete. What's his name, Black Pete, Black Pete, what about Black Pete. I have really been considering Holland because, Um, the healthcare is incredible there. Um, the education is is world ranked, you know, in the in the top five if I'm not mistaken. Um. And I like when I'm there. I like the sense of peacefulness that's all around me. Um. I love that the food is healthy, that it is really well hydrated. They don't do the GMOs, they don't do msg, they don't try to kill people, you know, they want them to be healthier. Everybody's riding their bikes around. Um, there's so many kinds of museums. Um. It just every time that I've been, it just felt like a real peaceful existence. People sit a go outside for lunch and eat lunch under a tree. Like that's what's up that there's a difference between existing and living. And I feel like when I'm in Holland, I get an opportunity to to live and frolic. We have an expact that's in Holland. I'm curious how because I'm Black Ice the poet. Yeah, I have a friend who just moved. Um actually an activist, like a lot of work here and had to roll out, couldn't taken them Moull Yeah, yeah, I think that that's the thing that a lot of people, you know who people are just really sauceed. It's it's it's so much too bad. I'm not saying that we have to bear any more than our ancestors. I'm just saying that we were still carrying after all of this time. We're carrying the weight of history, and we're carrying the present, and we're worried about the future. I had a psychic tell me um a few days ago that Trump was going to win the election, and I said, the fuck are you serious that we have to leave? Would he predicted? He predicted it last time, and I just I just couldn't. I was like, no, never, do y'all feel guilty because none of us have said any country in in the African continent. Yes, I don't feel guilty because a different was on was first on my list, But like seventy percent of Africa's being run by the Chinese right now, and they're running to kind of get their whole continent back, county by country and not saying that that doesn't mean I can't find a good quality of life somewhere on the continent. That would be crazy for me to say. But um, but yeah, I guess for me, my blackness ends up leading the charge. That's probably not a good thing, you know, because I love, honestly Jail for real. I loved what you had to say about the carbon footprint issue healthcare because we gotta get old, right, So who wants to get old somewhere where they don't even take care of people at So I get I'm with that, Like it's bigger than just it's it's bigger than these issues. It's overall, like the way that the government is run, the way elections are run, the way schools and teachers are being neglected and and disrespected, the way the health care system works, like the whole the whole regime is not for the people at all. If you're dealing in in a capitalistic society, the goal is to get that money and there is really not much else. Well a gag is it was that way before Trump. It's been that way. I mean, all of us, all of us feel so like, you know, concerned about the Trump issue because he's he's taken a bad situation and exacerbated it. But really and truly, uh, we were pretty bad off before then in terms of these same issues. I mean, was it really because Obamacare did not really drop my bills? And honestly, I paid less money under I paid less money under the system that existed before. And I'm a and I was a self paid for many, many years. So I am kind of the I'm supposed to be the poster child for that situation. But that's another conversation. I will say this much though, that imagination part thinking bigger and just dropping the bills a few or having this particular kind of school and available to you. But um, that radical imagination conversation, I think that's at the root of this whole conversation about where would you go? It's more about how do you how would you like to live? What is the life we imagine for ourselves? And really how do we make that happen? And that question, the answer to that question involves so much more than picking up and leaving. That's amazing. That's the brilliant agent. Ah, come on, girl, she is she is and has always been brilliant. And when you married your husband, I liked him so much more because of girls. This he knows, and he's so very happy you have made this addition. A good man, good choice, good choice. I think you're right. I think you're onto something nature like in this radical imagination. How what exactly what you want? I know that I've really been on this trying to find a way to live. What does living mean? Not just you know, going through life living? What does that mean? How I see people out there having picnics and stuff, just as peaceful, you know, just flowers all around. I said, look at that, that's nice. I see I see the children in their backyard in their pool, and I can hear them laughing. And I said, that's nice. You know, I see kids. I go to visit Harvard and and I look at all of these young minds and they're so focused on their education and being just being brilliant and intelligent. And I said, oh, that's nice. I I go to communities and it's it's clean, you know, it's it's no junk on the ground, it's no garbage everywhere. That's that's nice. That's what I want. That's what I think this cold, you know, American pie thing is. That's what I think it is. And I want it. I want that. I don't want to have to worry so much, so much I worry about I worry about my child, I worry about my family. I worry about y'all. Where are you going? You know, if you if you get stopped or pulled over, I worry about you. I pray for my friends and my family. My good lord, this is this is it's like a state of constant fear. But they saying we are the worst country for that. I just I just read this is the worst country to raise a family. I just saw that. I think we're number two in the world. You you talk talking about you're talking about places that are in the middle of war. So are we Well, yeah, we're talking about places with extreme poverty. We got it, we have it strong. Except our television are quote unquote propaganda. You know, shows us, you know where everybody's doing great, everybody's rich, everybody's got a bentley, everybody's bawling. And that's just not the case. It's just not the case. Teachers should be bawling, for sure. I mean I think that, well, the whole thing with the PTSD and and and and how the result of having to live under this high stress. You know, it shows up so much, particularly in Black women, but obviously in black families. Is just like you don't have to go that far to find heart disease, the diabetes, the asthma, the X Y and Z. And you know what, I actually heard um Angela Davis talking about how the idea of using joy as a revolutionary act and about how how that is a way to counteract some of the high stress because so many of the activists of the past they had to deal with the realities of of of drug use, of sadness, depression, meant all kinds of other issues with mental health around the fact that they just didn't incorporate self care as a part of their revolution. And that's something I think that we have or as the generations have gone on, have added more of that, and we have our young folks to thank for really taking that and running with it, Um And so that becomes that way that we kind of consistently use that as our you know, our compass are Due North. As we're moving through trying to deal with this constant stress, the constant how do I want to live? How do I want to feel? We kind of keep getting back Due North by using the joy, the happiness, the connection with one another, which is why, like I said, I live for a specific kind of connect and that I get with black women. I just lived for that, and I'm not a pent sure if I could get that someplace else. I mean obviously with technology and everything like that. But one thing about this whole pandemic is I missed that connection with my girls. I missed that connection with other women coast. I missed that connection with black women for sure. I missed that connection with black women. And so for me, part of my living is about and in my imagination is about how do I make this world a place where Black women can feel even better about themselves and be even more of a resource and an energy source for each other. You know what I'm saying, because you guys, really, y'all do it for me. Truly, truly, I wouldn't even be in this conversation today if it wasn't for that energy period or real talk after the breaking poetry kind This is um a poem uh from TRUPETERA Mason. She was just uh, she just became poet Laureate of Philadelphia. Come on, applause, applause. Trupeter Mason poet laureate Happiness is a private club. We will enter even though our mothers didn't. We will bang on the doors until our fists are bloodied. We will burst through barriers, create havoc. We will tie all our worldly possessions on our back. We will go naked if we have to. We will enter even though our mothers didn't. We will be left into that exclusive club where entrance is often denied to color girls kicking down the doors of Club Happiness. We will soothe them for discrimination. We will destroy our persecutors. We will bulldoze our own way in. We will get into that club even though our mothers didn't. We will be tired of incomplete people. We will become demanding. We will have fire on our turn and burn down the doors. We will not succumb to premature depths. We will buy up all the stock in Club Happiness and gently welcome our colored sisters in. We will own a piece of Club Happiness and own it even though our mothers didn't. Repete to Mason name, sir, m mmmmmm. And that's the goal, finding and owning and claiming, and it not be so shaky. What is what is happiness? What is peace of mind? I want peace of mind. I want peace, I want it. My dad always said happiness is fleeting. He said, it's joy that you really really need, you know, like, come on joy, Yes, come on joy, black girl joy. I mean, the more that I look around, I try to be true to listen to myself, because what happens is that we think certain things are gonna bring us joy, and then we go and try to acquire those things or have those experiences, but we don't really listen to our own spirit. And oftentimes for me, well anyway, the lesson or the class that I'm in right now is really being true to that voice inside me so I know where my joy is because I mean, we talked about this in other conversations about what we believe is the pathway to joy or what we think is gonna make us happy, and oftentimes we do that stuff, and I know I have. I'm just done with that. I'm ready to really listen to every little nuance of that voice inside my head so that I know her really, really well, so that my joy and whatever brings me joy is based on her. It's not based on anything else or anyone else, anyone else's joy, anything that makes anybody else happy, anything that people say it is supposed to make you happy. Like, I don't want any of that in my head. I want to quiet all of that. All I'm interested in is her. I want to know her so well, that's that's that's where I'm at. Oh, I feel like, uh, I feel like what's what's Jada's daughter's name, Willow? I feel like Willow right now? I was yes, yes, yes, yes, there's nowhere. There's nowhere to go that it hasn't been affected by the slave case. There's nowhere in the world. There's nowhere. Yeah, because I wasn't gonna get into Holland in the Dutch, in the South Africa there, you know, I know, you know, I know, I already knew sounds like, let's not go there. But Holland is known for being tolerant. And somebody said, do you really want to be tolerated. I'd rather be tolerated than discriminated against. I would rather. I would rather that, I do believe. I mean, for me, it was the Dutch people calling themselves Africans. That for me, That's what it was for me. But again, like I said, that's not that is not the conversation and which and whatch we as having. I will say it doesn't resonate to me. I remember watching I'm Not Your Negro and Baldwin said there was nothing of America that he longed for, not a hot dog, not a nothing, not a no. It was like out of nothing. And yeah, so it's like he did not along for anything of home. And I can imagine why he did not obviously experienced something different than what I did. Um, but it doesn't. You know, Tony Morrison resonates with me because she didn't go nowhere. She found a lovely lake, a lovely lake. She found a lovely lake, a lovely lake. Yes, she wrote the most beautiful work of art after she was forty years old. She was close to coast to forty years old. She found time to write that thing at five o'clock in the morning before her kids woke up. She wrote those books in traffic driving to her job. For me, she found a freedom that nobody could touch because she took it everywhere that she went. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I want to to that that feeling, that ownership of peace of mind. And unfortunately, you know, every time I turn on any level of social media or anything else, there's always something, you know, proclaiming that I can't get what I want. And I'm not saying that I can't. I'm just saying, damn it, I'm I'm I'm tired. That's the truth. I am. It's hard. We're all exhausted, and people act like you can't be beat, like you you don't like you know, I'm never tired. I come, I feel like I need permission to feel beat. Okay, so I give you permission. I give you permission to take the weekend, take as many baths or as many showers as you want, and not answer the phone unless you want, and sleep, and maybe masturbate once or twice if you feel like it. Twice. I mean, I'm just saying, if that's what you want to to not answer the door, to maybe not even wash your ass for the whole weekend if you don't feel like it, I give you permission to just bread if you want, watch movies if you feel like it's sitting quiet, if that's that that's your mood, like you know, so that we can get up and do more, try harder, speak louder fus, make a make a riff in this this dumbass water. Continue to be the strong as both strong women on the planet, we always have to be so strong. I give you permission right now. Folks need to cry sometimes and and scream sometimes. You know, church is not the only place that you get to do it. Oh yeah, I'm definitely in a class right now about well, about two things I'm in that ministry. One O one, there's that um and that's not my word that minute as I'm so oh no, I'm sorry. So let me just say this. I have an aunt. I have an aunt who whenever she's like really in a life less in space, she always says she's in a class and um, so yeah, I just I get that from my aunt Jackie piece to her. But yeah, that's number one about that NAP ministry, which is, like I said, not my concept, but certainly it has touched me. But the other part is, you know, oning my weakness like ship, I'm tired and I'm weak and I and I have to speak those things sometimes sometimes I have to talk about that. And actually I'm gonna put this out here too. Um A girlfriend and I sent me a clip from Alicia Keys the other day she was on Alive or something like that, and she was talking about watching like this anime TV show, So that was the basis for it. But the character in the show had to kind of come to terms with her fear, and she talked to about how a lot of times, and much like weakness, a lot of times we feel like we don't want to give our weakness or fear and name because we feel like we're gonna give it power, or that we can't give in because if we give into it somehow we won't come back. Sometimes it's the speaking on it, the getting it out, the talking and saying it exists that helps. It helps to deny its power. I think that that I'm with that that's the class that I'm in, like I said, is about that in terms of my weakness, what I'm not able to handle. And I've even gotten into talking to my kids about it, which truth be told, it was grief that did that when I lost my mother. Eventually I had to tell my kids I don't have it today, and I hadn't done that before. I had not ever said to my kids, I do not emotionally have this for you today, like I can't talk today, you know, and that was freeing beyond belief that oppera tunity to say and to name my weakness, name my fear, say it out of my mouth, you know. So now I don't really shy away from that anymore. I mean I think I think it has empowered and given my kids actually some language around it. And I got four girls. I don't have time to send anymore black women out in the world. Ill equipped, somebody que the applause, man, man, There are places in the world to go. It's a big world. There's a lot of there's a ship show pretty much everywhere you go. You have the right to choose the ship you want to deal with. Coming up next on the show, What's on Your Heart an occasional segment where we're checking with people rerespect about how they're really feeling. How on y'all? I think there's somebody that must mean it's time for What's on you hi'd de Blai, Thank you so much for calling in today. Would you mind telling us a little bit more about yourself? My name is Dr Yalla Blay. I am a scholar, activists professor. I prefer to say an educator because it's not limited to the college classroom. I'm also a producer and a cultural worker, and in this moment, I like to self identify as an independent people's worker. So what's on your heart? Two? You know, it's a lot happening in this moment in this world. Um, when I was trying to think about what's on my heart, I think the feeling, the emotion, the thought that keeps coming up is I'm tired. And this kind of tired in this moment is different than other kinds of tires. Not that I've not been tired before, but it's like something about this moment, right, So when I'm speaking of this moment, I'm speaking, of course this new COVID nineteen reality, but also simultaneously, it's like when COVID hit us in a particular way and Quarantine hit us in a particular way. Was also after the assassination of George Floyd, and it just felt like the world woke up. And it's like, on the one hand, we should be grateful, I suppose that the world don't woke up, But it's also, if I'm honest, there's a there's a bit of resentment. I think that that accompanies that moment, because it's like, for those of us who do work for and about black folks, like we've been saying the same ship for X amount of years, and now that everybody else done woke up, Now everybody else is ready to ring the alarm. Now it's time for us to jump on your schedule. So I'm grateful, be clear, because COVID also presented a particular reality where I can't travel, which is a out of how I make my income in terms of speaking and consulting and such, and so I was really kind of nervous, like, well, what am I gonna do if we have to be in the house until and so thankfully, you know, the moment presented a lot of opportunities because now we know we can do anything we want from home, from our computers and lectures and consulting. We can do everything, and so it's dope. But also I've never been approached as much as I have now in this moment. So yes, it's a blessing money wise, opportunity wise. But also can y'all chill out for a second, you know what I mean? Like the work is gonna be here, like this is life work, this is long term work. But right now you're Auntie you're aware, you want to do something, you want to make a statement, you want to help the blacks, you want to do all these things, and it's like there's only so many hours in a day. So yes, I love the opportunity, and yes I want to do this work, but I also want to hug and kiss on my grand babies, and I also want to take a nap, multiple napsult So I think the challenge is balance. I mean, I've been saying balance for so many years to the point where it don't even feel like a real concept anymore. Right, that we're seeking balance, like how do we balance working and rest and all the other things that we should have been enjoying in life. But I think this moment just presents another set of challenges. I want to make sure that we understand that the you that she's talking about are the lovely whites, the happy whites that have finally decided that they want to jump into this conversation, and now that they've jumped in, they want results, and part of their results is reaching out to those of us and those black people who have been doing this work for now, for decades, and not even just decades, really there doing work for decades in the tradition of work that's been going on since the beginning, since the beginning, since the beginning, and so Dr Yaba Blay is one of those people and us amazing work around you know, black joy, so amongst other things, amongst delving into so many different aspects of how we present ourselves and preserve ourselves when we're consistently on attack. But girl, I'm tired to child. Yes, yeah, I'm glad you reaffirmed that that whole folks waking up today and you've been woke for so long and having to like accept that as uh okay, so we're just gonna accept that You're in the elementary school while I've been getting my masters, and it's so frustrating. I don't know what to do. Woke so long that I need a nap, you know what I mean, even conceptually this notion of woke. And I'll say the other thing. I know as of you you clarified and said it's the whites. But let me be clear, the blacks are on my nerves too. That talks are on my nerves in this moment, uh, because this is work, right, and I don't think that just having black skin puts us in a position to speak about the editions of our society or our community, or puts us in an authority position to speak on behalf of the community in terms of what's best for us. And so I think there are a lot of ways that we take our lived experience for granted, meaning that we think it's as simple as to say, let's end racism. What does that mean? And what does that look like into what level? Right? And how are you even understanding how racism impacts your lived experience and maybe not just yours, but all of us all over this world, Because like white supremacy is insidious, so it manifests in a variety of ways that a lot of times people aren't even able to um pick up on. And so I have an example. I'm I don't know if it's safe space. If you want to go with it has to be more recently, your friend Adele please talk about it. A dealt with the band to Knocks and the celebration of Carnival, right, And so the Jamaican became need didn't bother me, do you? Right? I'm very familiar with my Jamaican brothers and sisters. You know, out of many one people, and so I know the vibe in terms of being very accepting, you know, and embracing of a multi racial, multicultural identity, which is cool. How Beever, when we as black women take issue with the hairstyle that Adele chose, I eat Bantu nots. Why is it that I'm having more conversation and more argument with black people defending her choice of hairstyle the white people. White people in a certain way know how to listen and say, you know what, you might be right, doc, I'm gonna sit this one out. Black people, however, we fight amongst each other because again, we don't have a sense of who gets to speak on our behalf. So just because you, one black person don't have a problem with hair hairstyle does not in the gate the impact that her beha avior has on earth lived experience. Who are you? Now? Somebody else might ask, well, who are you? And I'm gonna tell you who I am the spirit come on tell us? But somebody who studies, Because again, when I talk about exhaustion, I think people might think that race work is just something that every black person should be able to do. Like I have a whole PhD That required a whole lot of money, and reading a whole lot of books, and sitting in a whole lot of classes, and writing a whole lot of papers, and doing a whole lot of ship Like I've been trained in this work, and that training didn't end when I got the degree. I'm still doing this work. So if I come to you and I give you an analysis and I say what she's doing is cultural appropriation, why are you one black person now arguing with me about you not feeling away? That doesn't change the impact of what she's doing. It doesn't change the fact that she needs to get checked on the land. You don't want us to fight. You want us to be on the front line. You want us to chant and cheer. Black lives matter so long and you're comfortable with it. But when your one white friend crosses the line, now it's time for us to save her. It's like the one black person that's okay with their one white friend saying nigga all day long, just because you gave them permission to say it. They're gonna get punched in the face when they go away from you out in the community. You can't save them. Ain't no cookout invites that a single one, not a single one. Part of the exhaustion is like I've been trained how to fight white folks and white folks. I'm not saying that I want to fight you, but I'm saying that I understand the defensiveness that comes when someone is talking about racism and white supremacy and a system that you ultimately benefit from, whether you choose to or not. I know how to do that, But I love us so much that I think it actually hurts my feelings that I also have to fight us too in the way this work. It hurts my feelings because I don't want to fight us. But also Harriet Tubman, being my patron saint that she is, Harry Is said everybody can't come. We just had that conversation about everybody can come and who can come, and everybody can and and it's I think, you know, if again, if we're being honest on an emotional vulnerable level, it also hurts to be able to say that right that everybody can't come. In reality, everybody can't come. And so I might not respond to your comment, I might not respond to your email. I might not want to talk to you about it, brother or sister because to do so is to actually waste time and energy that I don't have. When I could be napping, I could be napping, could be doing any number of things. I could be scrolling Instagram, I could just be being But like I think, what people also have to understand, white, black and other is that just because you ask a question of somebody, they're not required to give you an answer. And I think when you do public work, people think that you should be accessible at all times. But I literally sat there and I counted I blocked over a hundred folks that day just because And I'm talking about black and white, right because the other thing again, these kind of this hurtful space that becomes created in the space of Adele to have folks who are Caribbean come and give their explanation and their excuse of her behavior, and then it become a conversation of well, you're not Caribbean, so you can't speak, or you're not Jamaican and therefore you don't understand or to say to me, you're African Americans, but actually you don't know me, right, So we all have black skin, but we all have different backgrounds. I'm actually not African American I'm Ghanian American, not that that puts me in any other position, but it is to say, if you want us to understand the nuance of your identity, understand that we all have nuance in our identities. Right, My people from Ghana, they were colonized by the British. Do you know that? Right now? In if you go to court in Ghana, the judges are wearing powdered wigs, and meanwhile folks are sitting here doing COVID talking about where they want to escape too, and they're going back to Africa. And my point is I get it. I get the need and the desire to leave this place because it is so aggressively violent towards us. But it's also to say, if you don't understand how white supremacy works, you won't recognize it in all the other ways that it manifests. So yes, you might be around a whole bunch of black folks who were speaking a whole another language, who are living a whole another culture, but white supremacy lives there too. There is nowhere on this earth that you can go to escape it. Can we can we go back to what? Can we go back? You were gonna stay here because because why I will say this, I will say this that ultimately the ways in which we get to understand each other and share a common language is by knowledge, is by knowing and communicating with one another. And we have to find a place to commune and study together so that we know these things, so that we are working from the same baseline. We we create a value. So dr blame, Um, how do we do this? We need to start some tribunals and cities across the countries. Um. Do some iteration of that sound realistic? Of course? I mean. And again for me, it's like I enjoy teaching people who want to learn, you know what I mean? So I do think we need a safe space, and the internet is not so safe because everybody has access to it. So yeah, we're committed. And their folks who are coming to the table, like, yeah, let's talk, not saying just come and let me take everything you say is right and move on, but like, let's enter into conversation with the common kind of agreement that we're here to learn and we want to walk away from this space in better understanding of one And I think it's a beautiful idea, you know, And it would be probably be great to get some well intentioned white folks to fund it. I'm glad said that. I'm interested in the way that we're treating quote unquote allies. I'm watching us um react, um, react to what seems to be people with good intentions in a very ugly way, and I'm concerned about that. What do you how what's your perspective there, Dr Blake? I think it depends on the nature of the offense. Um. Without the offense, I'm hesitant to say we need allies. That's what I was about to say. I'm gonna say it anyway. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say we need allies because we do because in order for white supremacy to get checked, white people have to also recognize their investment in it, right, and they also have to be really willing to re send some of the privileges, unearned privileges that they get from it. But I also pushed us a step further to say, like, I'm less interested in allies, um than I am in accomplices, right, Like we need accomplices, like what you're willing to do and what we're gonna call them instead of spook who sat by the door. We need Casper who sat by the door. I don't know, but we need somebody to go in on our behalf and do this work, recognizing that your white skin, your white privilege, your white experience, is going to give you access to a truth that we won't have access to. And then you get in there and you give them the business on our behalf, and not just on the behalf of the blacks, but recognizing that you have an investment in it as well. And as if we get rid of white supremacy, your life will also be enhanced. I think a lot of folks are just afraid of the privilege that they might lose if we end racism, if we end white supremacy, which is why the back Oh of course, yeah, that's why I feel like if you have an ally, you know, or an accomplice, to be respectful, but I need to see your papers because I'm not just gonna call you. I think we all need to decide that you're an ally. You can't be telling me you're an ally. You get none of that. You can't have one black friend that said here ally, No, we need to discuss this. They need to be vetted and what does an ally mean just because you have like something or you have posted something, or are you in these streets? Are you doing it in your dollars? Like? What does that? It looks a variety of ways. And I think that's ultimately where we have to push us, all right, that you don't just get to self identify as an ally because you know intention the intentions are great, but impact is greater. Well, I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say this real quick because I know I ain't gonna be speaking last, so let me just lean in. Okay, how do you know? How do you know? Listen? What I'm gonna say is this that it's not that I'm not interested in allies or accomplices. That's just not the place that I'm going to push my particular energy. What I'm gonna say is this, is that my responsibility, or what the responsibility I feel like I want to take, is quieting the messages and the white supremacist messag is in my head and shifting my own lands as much as I possibly can. And I realize now how difficult that can be and how much a personal inner work does affect how the world changes because we interact with so many people on a daily basis, and we interact with so many people throughout our lifetime, and it's those interactions that begin to shift and mold how other people think. Children, older, older people, older people who may need to shift and and and incorporate certain evolution in their wisdom. All those things are important, as well as just having radical compassion for my own folks. I don't have time to help other people accept something that my own people are suffering so much behind, and so my compassion is for them, and for now, my compassion is for them alone. I still say, don't cut off your toe despite your foot. I know you're trying to hurt no white people. I just think come starting with what they heard or not. No, no, no, I'm not saying that we got feelings. I understand, I understand. I just you know, coming from a different place, Jill, your white friends still gonna like you after this. We're gonna mess it up. That's already and they don't like you more because what I've learned is that the good white people love a good revolutionary as sucking uh public enemy like they love a good revolution I know, I know, you know what this is. I'm just saying that I like to I like to believe that we were capable of using all the tools in the shed. I feel that you understand. And if there is someone or a company or someone that's willing to put their money and their energy into destroying white supremacy, I am not mad. Keep exactly that's all that that that's in fairness, what I say to them is thank you. But also, you don't get gold stars for being a basically decent human. Decent and I think a lot of times that's what words expect. It wasn't handing out stalls. Just kind of speaking of what Asian said. I think we all have to know our place in the work, and if it's not, if that's not your lane, don't occupy it right. Figure out what what you do best and stay there. There are people who know very well how to to to co mingo and how to foster relationships with allies and accomplices. I pass it off to them. It's not my strong suit. But yes, absolutely we need everybody invested in this work, all of us here here. Please inform us of your books so we can purchase. Okay, so my first book, one Drop, Shifting the Lens on Race, I actually printed it independently back in and it is now being re released on be Compressed and it will be available for US as of Black History months and by the time this show airs will have pre orders available on Amazon. And so that's one drop shifting the lens on race. Other than that, I'm on Instagram way too much. Um, I do a lot of stuff on there. But for more information you can check my website, Yaba blade dot com. Thank you so much. How do you eat an elephant? One by time? Hey? Everyone, Hey, y'all, it's Eaves. You'll hear from me from time to time because I'm an executive producer on the show. We are nearing the end of this episode, but Jill, Layah and Asia want you to know that they're not just on here talking ship. As Angel would say. All right, so y'all might have heard this thing before how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time? But if you haven't, it basically means that when you have something in front of you that feels like this huge, insurmountable task, what you can do is break it down into smaller, bite sized pieces. That way it no longer seems impossible. That's why we want to share resources with you. So when we talk about these topics that have so many layers, you have a small bite of information to take with you as you navigate through life. All that said, the resource that we want to share with you today is travel Noir. Laiah brought up a travel Noir article in today's episode, and she often goes to travel noir dot com to learn about what's happening in the world of black travel. I'll drop a link in the episode description. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott present j dot il the podcast. This podcast is hosted by Jill Scott, Layah st Clair, and agent Braden Danceler. It's executive producers are Jill Scott, Sean g and Brian Calhoun. It's produced by About Your Thank Claire and Me. He's Je co The editing and found design for this episode we're done by Taylor Chaquin. I didn't say this part about Nina Simone, her moving to Switzerland when I had the privilege of meeting her. Thanks and shout out to Diana Williams in Philadelphia. When I had the privilege and honor to meet Nina Simone, she told me that that I should leave here, that I should leave this place that America would never understand me. I was like, damn, how you just that's the greeting, you know what I mean, Like, that's the greeting you should leave. Jay dot Ill is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.