June 15, 2022
Universally Estelle
Estelle joins the ladies to talk about her iconic role as Garnett on Steven Universe, her music and of course what's on her heart.
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00:00:03
Speaker 1: Welcome to j dot Ill a production of I Heart Radio. So it looks like it looks like it looks like it looks like we've got somebody here. It is an absolute pleasure to have her. But before we tell you who it was, I would love for agent to tell the story of why her son was in tears. Talk to us. Okay, So I have an older son. He's twenty, he'll be twenty three now, but at the time he was in college. He was like maybe a freshman or something like that. It's probably eighteen or nineteen years old. And he was home from school and um, my daughter have a twin. Um, she's a twin And at the time, she was probably ten or eleven, and she came downstairs and she said, my where is I killed. I said, well, he's in the basement. But she looked like distraught, and I'm like, so I followed her in the basement because I'm like, I'm gonna find out why my baby is upset. So I'm walking around being nosy, like what she about to talk to him about? So she opens up the door. He's in the office. She opens up the door and she was like, he said, what's He was like you know what's wrong, And she said, now, mind you. I didn't know any what was going on. She says, I killed. I just watched the last episode of Stephen Universe, and she just started bawling and she sat next to him and they just hugged and cried. And I was like, what are y'all watching? Like I'm in in a panic, Like what has my children so emotional? And honestly, I had never had no idea that he had been watching it since it started airing, and that he was such a big fan and had introduced the show to my young to my daughter, and that she had been watched the whole season and then was like distraught at the very end of it. So that's what um started me watching the show. And when I started watching the show, and then I realized that our guest it's actually on the show, and I started to listen to the voice, and I'm like, I know who that is, And then it just opened up a really wonderful conversation between me and my baby, and I just will always and forever remember that and just thank her for that. So please introduce our guests. Jill Powerful impact boom from a cannon from Okay ladies and gentlemen where we're on with a spell right now. This is this is a it's a multiverse of a stell talking about Hi, Hi, you and me out here in tears. I'm like, it's it's a Hi fower girl, pleasey get your flowers because she leaves get these flowers. As you know, she started as an m C. And then she's singing and then and then it's like everything just took off. I mean, I know it doesn't work that way, like it isn't an overnight process, but the fact that today you can literally do anything that you want. It's the multiverse of that we're talking about today. Okay, wow, Yeah, I'm just on it to be here, Like I'm really in tears right now. That's like this is a lot to be in a place to let these black babies feel all their feelings. Yeah yeah, man, it really is. It's an honor like it really is. Man. I wanted to be got it to be selfish to a degree. Everyone was telling me your voice is distinctive, you should do voice overs, and I was like yeah, then like offin like after hearing MC light on every single thing running for like a year, servis it was like, you should do voice overs. I was like, okay, well then I want to do voiceovers. I want to do voice overs. And I started being my team in the head like get me a voice over, get me a voice over. And I was like, why do you want to do voice over? You do the music. Just focus on the music. I was like, look, I got so much family overseas, and it was selfish with me, like I say like, oh, I just want my nieces and nephews to hear my voice. Literally, I was like, I just want them to hear it because I'm they're not moving here, and I want them to know what Auntie sounds like. I come from a big family, loads of women, like it's very like, very feminine, but like and I'm a auntie like a thousand times over right. So I was like, I want them to know what at least I sound like, you know, like, because they're not gonna see me every day, so it is something that they can watch. That was my my core reason. So I was like, give me a voice over. I want a cartoon, and I want a cartoon, get me a voice over something. And then Rebecca heard this song I did called Freak Rebecca's Sugars, the creator of Seeming Universe, and she's a fan. She loved the record, She loves video and she was like, yo, I just love what you were doing. It was very strong, it was powerful. And remember when I made the song and I did it, I just like to be I wasn't thinking about the community. I wasn't thinking about not me. I was just like, yeah, it's be fire, it's hot, and I want to write something about feeling empowered as a woman. You know, like when people are telling you're too sexual, you're to this, or you know you're quite quiet, but you're not supposed to be a freak. If you're quiet, you're not so you know, man, whatever, all of that that's what freaks about. Like I can be a freak every day, every week, you know, like I'll give it you however you want it. That's that's the vibe of the song. And she saw the video and she remember dreaming about what the video would look like. One night. I was really trying to think. I write all my treatments and my songs and my videos, and I remember dreaming, I said, oh, I see, I see what it's gonna look like. So I wrote, I scribbled down the image of what became Garnet to the video director, and I said to him, like, it's gonna be like this. She's gonna be like a school teach of teaching their kids how to like express it in a freaks there in a flag, they're in a woman, right, And then you know, we made the video and she said she based Garnet on the look of me in there with my hair and the big square hair like I had a bob and the big glasses I was wearing and all the stuff. So when it came time to ask me to be part of it, it wasn't hard. It was like, you know, like you know, you get it, you understand it. The character was named Garnet. That's my bust on my favorite colors purple. It was so many signs of like you went to the cartoon, here you go. You know. I was like, right, the thing in all the ways I could show you clearly this is for you. I was like, oh, I could do this. And then the characters, like they didn't tell us any of the storys. It just told us the characters. And I was like, well, what did she do and she's like, well, it's them, And I was like, okay, what does them do? Um she said, was they take care of all the different crystals like your big sister. I was like, oh yeah, I'm definitely that I could do that. That's easy. It's not gonna be hard to find the emotion there, and so I did it. It was just easy and selfishness really, you know. But when I think about it, it's like your core, you're cooling, your cool person who you're supposed to the thing. The purpose right kind of just pulled up on our father. You called you called to it. Yeah, y'all are ushering in a totally different, emotionally intelligent group of of of young people, completely further down the road than we would ever have expected with language that we that that needed to exist is really amazing. And from an Afro futurist perspective, to have um that image in front of young people and saying the things and doing the things. Someone said up in an interview They asked for record interview like why make her black? Why make her woman right? And she said, well why not? Everything else is white and male? Like we need some you know, like there is this is why not? This is what it really is and why not? I was just like, and this is why I'm on this sucking show. That's right, because then why not, you know, like everything, why they are not. I just thought about it, and as like I said at the beginning, I had no clue what the stories would be, what the real context of the show was. As I kind of started, it started unfolding and the l g b q T I A community themes were unveiled. It was just like madam honored. I'm an ally first up and second of what. I'm honored too to be able to, like you said, give language to it for somebody. I never had it when I was a kid. My friends who are gain never had it when I was a kid. I was just saying, the community never had it when there were kids, And I'm just like, well, I can give. I can be a part of helping somebody feel feel human, feel except to feel wanted to feel loved. I'm about that. I'm about that. I feel exactly what I was about to say that It's so human, it's so touching, it's so emotional, it's spiritual. The music is incredible, just incredible, like brib Vosis like for Real to arc and arc and Art and arc and and you know, to to build. What I think is the most important thing you know in a in a career is to have longevity, to be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want for the long run. You said it like you gave us the decades, Ja Jail, you gave us the decades about what you should be doing and how you should be doing. And I'm like, on the money, exactly that you said. The folies, I felt like was for when you want to do it, or like working, when you want to work? How how are you how you want? And that's exactly where I'm at right now for me too. But I feel like I was like, yo, I'm on parf Okay, I'm good. I'm not crazy, you know, because you mentioned like two things you said this role has a lot to do with like who you are in your family. I think what you're the second of nine and you did this for your nieces and your nephew. So you gotta tell us, like what's the family? What do they think? What they're saying? They just love having Anti Stelle on TV, hearing my voice and then being like that's Anti. I remember that They sent me a video like two three years into it, and I'm a I'm a weeper. I've learned now I cry all the time. I never knew it before. I was like thirty five, and then I hit thirty five and it was like who works, And like, I feel like I look at that video and I cry every five minutes, like every time I saw it, because I was just like, oh, my goodness, like they really do know it's my voice like it, you know. And then, like I said, I feel like in order for us to like, just as humans move forward, we have to give. We have to start raising the kids in a way more inclusive, in a human way, right. And I'm just, like I said, I'm just honored to be a part of what that looks like. Like we did something amazing with that. I didn't even know what I was signing up for, you know. I was kind of like just I was just like, this is good. I caught my dream, I caught my wish. Okay, God, you said bigger than me? Cool, cool, cool, more real talk after the break, Well, ma'am, I'm here. I'm here with one of your your bands. And it still has been so sweet over the years. Sending sending side things from Garder and it just has been very, very lovely, and we just wanted to thank you. The little boy that you talked to then as become this guy. Let me see, it's about to scare me by that boye. It's deep. How are you? I'm great? How are you? I am amazing? It's so good to see you again. Do I mean it's just grow look a yeah, I guess I feel special. I get I get like a guest appearance from the one I only I don't know what you're saying. The first we've never got. It's not on the show. I am so honest, and it's so peopful to speak to you, sweetheart. You look incredible. You're having a good sunday. You are jil Well does mean it's like it's like looking at two faces. Thank you. I'll do it. That one of the fourground, one of the backgrounds. The problem. Oh, he would killed problems. That's what he is that I killed. He reminds me so much. Yeah, that's what that is. He really doesn't remind him. Grew well done. He was trying so hard to control his voice because you know we're there, so is the voice pre stage stored answers because you know it does what it does, and he didn't want he didn't want that. Yo. I'm curious because says Joe Barjette on, like, how do you how do young folks been responding to you when he comes to the show, since you're whole parades for this woman. Okay, yeah, it's there. If you don't know, ladies and gentlemen, if you don't know about this wonderful show, if you don't know about Stephen Universe and you've been get involved. It is. Um. It is as healthy as any television show in the history of television. It is good for the heart, it is good for your intentions, it's good for the spirit. It's good for understanding other human beings. UM, without without judgment. Um. It is is absolutely beautiful and we're sincerely proud of of you. Thank go ahead, thank you, thank you. I feel like even the impact even on young people has extended to to adults because I don't know this for a fact, but I just want to say this really quickly. I was obsessed with that show Lovecraft Country, and that was a really particular episode called the I Am Episode, which talked about black women in our evolution. And I'm sorry there was a depiction woman in the future that was absolute, and I was like, listen, somebody, and I wanted to mention that because to take because that image is that powerful, that that as adults in an adult show where adults will be watching that, they of all of the images of what they felt the black woman would be in an infinite future, they chose the image of garning good God, I am sorry. That to me was transcending. That's that's when you know you've done something that has transcended simple light. So I know that's not that's not a question, that's a comment. I want to I want to ask you to hear what you think about that and how you responded when you first realized that the flooded. My texts and my d m s and my my tweets were being flooded. And I was like, what do you? What do you because I okay, so I'm I'm a punk. I don't watch scary things. I don't watch because I will dream about right, I really will, Like you know, with ay, as we absorbed, right, so then you did, it comes back out or as I jump out of my sleep, that's how it comes back out. And I don't like that. So I just decided to stop a while ago, so I don't watch Lovecraft Country. I watched the clips and I saw the pictures, the text, the d m s, the clips, and I was just like, hold this. Look at I literally just like, well look at this. Look God couldn't make this up. I couldn't make this up. Like cool, thank you. And that's I was like reposted it and saying thank you, like God, it's good. Like I didn't make this up. I didn't, you know, I was giving it in a dream and it became this. I just played my part. I just I followed along and I played the part that I was given to play. And and you know, it's me. It means something to someone beyond me. It means what we do every day means something to somebody beyond us. And then this means a lot to a lot of people, you know. And I'm just again, I'm just happy to to play, to be here, man, I'm like, this is I'm saying here like three seconds from ball and every time I stopped talking, So this is just like that's what we do. Welcome, Welcome to the baby party, Happy free boobs and real tears a regular basis Yeah, we're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back. So there is one question and that is a step. Yes, what's on your heart? Ah? Oh today, don't need to rush, take your time. Oh my goodness, the day was today is good so far. I was just reminded. I was at church this morning. I was just reminded, and it keeps going around in my head. So I was just reminded to like of all the things, with all the things that we do to get us wherever we go, like prayer is a powerful way to do it right. And and because you know, like there's like all the different I believe in everything. I believe in the ancestors, I believe in all of the things. I believe that God made it all. But the point is God made it all right. So today I was just like sitting in church and just got reminded like of like particular moments where I was going through all the processes. I was in front of my all every day, and I was praying every day, and I was missing the key thing, which was like in the name of Jesus, which was like I had decree and I declare, which was calling in the blessings and it was just it punished me in the face this morning, like at at church, this one it was just like, yo, you're forgetting that you know the detail and to and to say it with conviction. You know, you're forgetting that this is this is what brings in the blessing. This is what brings in the thing. And I don't want no no fluffy and the thou thou prayers. He just wants you to talk say the thing. And so always been a lot of things in my personal when I'm just like, oh, so I can't wait to be married, when my husband, I want my baby, I'm ready for my kids, I'm ready for the I'm ready for this the next side of my life to start, you know, to or to to to bloom. And I've been frustrated about that. So this was like a reminder like, yo, I hear you, I hear you. I need you to do one thing for me though, you know, so this is what's been in my heart. It's just like for anybody that needs it, like you know, declare it. Be clear about what you've got to be clear about the things that I put in your heart. They're not there for no reason. It's yours you know. That's that's it. Yeah. I love the idea of decreeing and declaring h because it's like there's so much power and the things that we say, and it's like we have to say the thing. I remember sometimes I would pray in my car, just talking like I just have a whole conversation, and I had gotten into this mode where all I understood to do was ritual prayer, or all I understood how to do was to have be on my knees or have my hands a certain way or being a certain place. And I identify with um the idea of what it is you're saying, how you're saying it, and being really intentional about that you know, and you know, regardless of whatever your faith is, I think it's really important to be specific about what you say and you know, and how you say it, and and being you know, open to the fact that you're thinking these things, saying the saying the thing and thinking the thing kind of different, you know what I mean. It's the specifics. For me, it's it's the specifics, like paying for specifics. You want what you want to be like ridiculously specific about what it is and honest. Okay, Amen, anybody could pray for a for a husband or spouse or mate and get something absolutely terrible. Get it, but you have to be specific about it. A while, a lot of our sisters are really paying attention to the net worth or gross, you know, paying attention to what this person has or doesn't have, you know, just to shout out to remember the character of the human being you're talking about with, because that comes, um, that's what that's that's the meat, that's the that's the part that's gonna get you full in bed and replenished. Okay, it could be or it could be the way or to say it in or whatever it else, you know you want to call it. But I'm just gonna go ahead and call it to meet. But it's good. It's good for you too, to be specific, because we are women of a certain age, and we all know what we want and what we don't want, and so why not go ahead and tell God, like to all I've learned from lessons. Yes, So I'm not asking for what I asked for two or three years ago God, because I'm listening and I'm learning, Yes, God, I yes, you know what I mean. And then really being specific and saying like, well, yeah, you want a husband, you want to a partner, you want to want the best friend, and you want to laugh with them. You you want them to be open to uh, the things that you say. You want them to be able to learn from you and from them. Like it's just I love them. I personally love the process. I don't love the process of let me not get a twist. I don't know the process of being single and having to ask these questions. But I do love the process of learning from myself and my actions and asking from now and knowing what I want. You know what I'm saying. I did say, I did the US before. I just I don't want my house, but yeah I'm my husband. I wanted to and I did the general right, and then this dude team along and I remember feeling like after like a week of being around and being like, I, huh, this this can't be this can't be it. This, this ain't the model that you wanted for me. Jesus right, This ain't this ain't the Tesla kid out that ots for right. No, right, this is this is the Ford. It was because you let me, let me can I can I interject a little bit one this one I now has been married for three thousand seven four. She also has se nineteen children well with her with her HU also at twenty orgasms a week, so we see, and it's the lines for me. But a week. Look, I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'm gonna. I'm a client. It's a lot of that's a lot of orgasm taking parties ahead. Sorry, so that's a nice, good amount. That's a good amount. You put seven days. You just vide that and carried it on. Okay, anyway, I love it. I mean, but I'm gonna I'm gonna say this about the uh, partnership. It's not marriage, right, that's what Those are two different things, that's what I'm saying. Different than when I said that. That was that right your nails when you said two different things that the metaphor was just like back the metaphors. I broke that nail. So there you go. So there's a with that language correct, Asia will do what I said then I said partner. I didn't say husband. When I said partner, I would say partnership. And the reason why those things are different, the reason why those things are different and not because the intent is different. It's because of what we've done to these things, how we created institutions and not been attached things to them make us look at it in a general way that is aside from what we know love to be. Because we assigned love to certain spaces. We say love lives in this space, and this space is space, and if we don't get access to that space, we don't qualify it as love. And so love and how it exists in a partnership is not specific to marriage. If you want to be married, that's great. You want to be partnered with somebody, that's a different thing. And a partnership can exist in a marriage, but a marriage can exist without partnership. M So that and so I think it's important to think about these things and and and the ways in which partnership lasts is its ability to be flexible, to evolve, to change, and it cannot be rigid. So as you pray for partnership, you have to pray for the ability to be open. That you're not gonna know what to ask for specifically about every little thing. You will not be and you're not even capable of making that prayer because love does not exist in that binary way. Love exists in all many, many, many ways, and it's important to honor it in all the places it comes because if we focus on it as this place that can only exist in that spot, right, then we mess with our sense of worthiness. So if you don't get access to that spot, then it means you're not worthy of love, and that's not true. So you're that the idea that we have, these ideas about what love is, and if it doesn't suit the idea that we've established, then we don't recognize it as love amen marriage. And so I think, and I think, I think it's important to allow it to be the fluid thing that it is, so that then if you don't ever get access to marriage, that you can see love and its abundance in your life in all the ways in which it shows up and nurtures and feeds you that it is. And I know, coming from me, that is saying okay, yeah, for you, you can say that, but let me say this to you. Marriages fall apart even when they don't end. What so what you may be looking at a marriage that has lasted and you'll be thinking, oh, yeah, that's what I want, and that thing could be in shambles see still, can I ask you a question in this moment as you are listening to Asia talk, because I don't know about you, but meeting you both the single girls here with the no babies, so I feel like sometimes listen to Asian Jill talk, We've grown up on a certain thing that Asia just acknowledged, right, this whole idea of marriage, husband and this is what this is what your goal is, and stuff like that. However, we are also conscious individuals, and we have people in our lives, like these two women who will let us know the truths of these institutions. Not just them, we have playing people that are alive to tell us the truths of these institutions. However, in our inner body parts, our inners are fighting. Our inners are fighting with what we know to be true and what we also have been pushed who has been pushed into our little girl bodies since we got our first Barbie doll or whatever the doll baby was. So I'm just am I wrong? It's still feeling You're not wrong. Listen, I think, uh, two twelve, when I got when I went home, this is an example from then to now two twelve and go home to see my first niece for one like, so we do the last tradition forty days where you have the baby and the mother at home for forty days and then you do a ceremony. And I went home to see my first little sisters having her babies for a day. And I'm there with like women heavy, right, women heavy, And one of my outheries is like, you ain't had a baby, just have a baby. And I said to lady two things. Um, I can call you lady now because I feel like I'm grown right. Um. I was just like, lady, you don't even know where I live. Second of all, I'm don't I'm not doing this on my own, Like what do you mean, just have a baby. And I think to myself, ten years later, Okay, she's she said it wrong, But I understand where she was coming from with it as being a woman, as being able to make that decision for myself. It shouldn't be held up on anything or anyone else right, or anybody's version of events, or whether I want to this when we live in a whole day for an age. But the thinking behind it is what had me like, girl, I don't want to do it. I'm not not I don't want you. I can't do this on my own. I'm not able to write, and had me and are holding pattern for a very long time, like not not that I couldn't have had a kid or whatnot, but had me myself arrested if it didn't go with this particular way, in this particular format, with this particular guide, and I don't want it, and I'm scared to do it, like no, it's only take it's taking me this long to get new files to understand that, like you said, age, it's love, It's all around us. If I want it, it is there now. I do still believe I need help, okay, because you do. I'm tired, righty, But I'm no longer afraid of the idea of you know, having a child, that the help won't be there, that the help and the love won't be there, and the help will be just it just made come in the pack of you. Thinks exactly right, that's exactly it. But hearing that when I was thirty two and like everything was so uncertain and then this lady was coming to tell me this, like who don't even know where I live in the United States, Like even though she's my family. I said, you're not flying out to help me. You're not coming out. My mama has like twelve other kids to take girls. She ain't she'll come, but she staying, you know, how would I do this? So I just agree, and I'm want to say, I'm grateful because you're giving me extra new files. You're giving me new files to kind of quill and quiet the old files that don't work for me anymore at this stage in my life, you know, like just take me in. Yeah, like, because that's what I think, especially, and I'll say it's like in our life, like we you know, we need new files. We're not. We're not thirty five, We're not we need new files. I don't have a big ship. Oh we will. I don't have a big existence. So I'm listening to you talk, and I'm like, that's how this goes cool. Thank you. I'll take the bitst I work for me, and maybe the bits that don't work right now we'll work in the future. But right now I'm listening and I'm grateful. I really am. Like I listened to the podcast every week, so you know, because I love Yeah, We're so grateful to have you here, and so exceptionally proud of you. Go lie continue to lie for me personally, Um, I just think that you're the sweetest. You've been the sweetheart since we've met, like, and it's in an industry where a lot of people are sweet for the moment, you know what I mean. You have been very consistent and I'm very grateful for that. Here's the deal for me, friends, when it comes to prayer, I do not ask for anything. I thank God for everything so in in in my specifics, you know, I'm thinking, I'm thinking the creative for this moment. We're having strong, powerful women who are also vulnerable, who also are funny and love to have a good time, and that are growing. I'm very grateful for that, and we're very grateful for all of you listening to j dot Elga podcast. We thank you so much. Please take good care of yourselves. You fine, amen, Hollelleen. Come on how Do You Eat an Elephant? One? By? It time, Hey listeners, it's Amber the producer. Can we take a moment and just appreciate how sweet and vulnerable a style is in this episode and in life. In today's how Do You Eat an Elephant? Segment, I want you all to get into her character Garnett on Steven's Universe. You can stream episodes or watch the movie on Hulu, HBO, Max, Apple TV, and Prime Video. Hi if you have comments on something he said in this episode called eight six six, Hey Jill, if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot Il. The podcast JA dot Ill is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 1: Welcome to j dot Ill a production of I Heart Radio. So it looks like it looks like it looks like it looks like we've got somebody here. It is an absolute pleasure to have her. But before we tell you who it was, I would love for agent to tell the story of why her son was in tears. Talk to us. Okay, So I have an older son. He's twenty, he'll be twenty three now, but at the time he was in college. He was like maybe a freshman or something like that. It's probably eighteen or nineteen years old. And he was home from school and um, my daughter have a twin. Um, she's a twin And at the time, she was probably ten or eleven, and she came downstairs and she said, my where is I killed. I said, well, he's in the basement. But she looked like distraught, and I'm like, so I followed her in the basement because I'm like, I'm gonna find out why my baby is upset. So I'm walking around being nosy, like what she about to talk to him about? So she opens up the door. He's in the office. She opens up the door and she was like, he said, what's He was like you know what's wrong, And she said, now, mind you. I didn't know any what was going on. She says, I killed. I just watched the last episode of Stephen Universe, and she just started bawling and she sat next to him and they just hugged and cried. And I was like, what are y'all watching? Like I'm in in a panic, Like what has my children so emotional? And honestly, I had never had no idea that he had been watching it since it started airing, and that he was such a big fan and had introduced the show to my young to my daughter, and that she had been watched the whole season and then was like distraught at the very end of it. So that's what um started me watching the show. And when I started watching the show, and then I realized that our guest it's actually on the show, and I started to listen to the voice, and I'm like, I know who that is, And then it just opened up a really wonderful conversation between me and my baby, and I just will always and forever remember that and just thank her for that. So please introduce our guests. Jill Powerful impact boom from a cannon from Okay ladies and gentlemen where we're on with a spell right now. This is this is a it's a multiverse of a stell talking about Hi, Hi, you and me out here in tears. I'm like, it's it's a Hi fower girl, pleasey get your flowers because she leaves get these flowers. As you know, she started as an m C. And then she's singing and then and then it's like everything just took off. I mean, I know it doesn't work that way, like it isn't an overnight process, but the fact that today you can literally do anything that you want. It's the multiverse of that we're talking about today. Okay, wow, Yeah, I'm just on it to be here, Like I'm really in tears right now. That's like this is a lot to be in a place to let these black babies feel all their feelings. Yeah yeah, man, it really is. It's an honor like it really is. Man. I wanted to be got it to be selfish to a degree. Everyone was telling me your voice is distinctive, you should do voice overs, and I was like yeah, then like offin like after hearing MC light on every single thing running for like a year, servis it was like, you should do voice overs. I was like, okay, well then I want to do voiceovers. I want to do voice overs. And I started being my team in the head like get me a voice over, get me a voice over. And I was like, why do you want to do voice over? You do the music. Just focus on the music. I was like, look, I got so much family overseas, and it was selfish with me, like I say like, oh, I just want my nieces and nephews to hear my voice. Literally, I was like, I just want them to hear it because I'm they're not moving here, and I want them to know what Auntie sounds like. I come from a big family, loads of women, like it's very like, very feminine, but like and I'm a auntie like a thousand times over right. So I was like, I want them to know what at least I sound like, you know, like, because they're not gonna see me every day, so it is something that they can watch. That was my my core reason. So I was like, give me a voice over. I want a cartoon, and I want a cartoon, get me a voice over something. And then Rebecca heard this song I did called Freak Rebecca's Sugars, the creator of Seeming Universe, and she's a fan. She loved the record, She loves video and she was like, yo, I just love what you were doing. It was very strong, it was powerful. And remember when I made the song and I did it, I just like to be I wasn't thinking about the community. I wasn't thinking about not me. I was just like, yeah, it's be fire, it's hot, and I want to write something about feeling empowered as a woman. You know, like when people are telling you're too sexual, you're to this, or you know you're quite quiet, but you're not supposed to be a freak. If you're quiet, you're not so you know, man, whatever, all of that that's what freaks about. Like I can be a freak every day, every week, you know, like I'll give it you however you want it. That's that's the vibe of the song. And she saw the video and she remember dreaming about what the video would look like. One night. I was really trying to think. I write all my treatments and my songs and my videos, and I remember dreaming, I said, oh, I see, I see what it's gonna look like. So I wrote, I scribbled down the image of what became Garnet to the video director, and I said to him, like, it's gonna be like this. She's gonna be like a school teach of teaching their kids how to like express it in a freaks there in a flag, they're in a woman, right, And then you know, we made the video and she said she based Garnet on the look of me in there with my hair and the big square hair like I had a bob and the big glasses I was wearing and all the stuff. So when it came time to ask me to be part of it, it wasn't hard. It was like, you know, like you know, you get it, you understand it. The character was named Garnet. That's my bust on my favorite colors purple. It was so many signs of like you went to the cartoon, here you go. You know. I was like, right, the thing in all the ways I could show you clearly this is for you. I was like, oh, I could do this. And then the characters, like they didn't tell us any of the storys. It just told us the characters. And I was like, well, what did she do and she's like, well, it's them, And I was like, okay, what does them do? Um she said, was they take care of all the different crystals like your big sister. I was like, oh yeah, I'm definitely that I could do that. That's easy. It's not gonna be hard to find the emotion there, and so I did it. It was just easy and selfishness really, you know. But when I think about it, it's like your core, you're cooling, your cool person who you're supposed to the thing. The purpose right kind of just pulled up on our father. You called you called to it. Yeah, y'all are ushering in a totally different, emotionally intelligent group of of of young people, completely further down the road than we would ever have expected with language that we that that needed to exist is really amazing. And from an Afro futurist perspective, to have um that image in front of young people and saying the things and doing the things. Someone said up in an interview They asked for record interview like why make her black? Why make her woman right? And she said, well why not? Everything else is white and male? Like we need some you know, like there is this is why not? This is what it really is and why not? I was just like, and this is why I'm on this sucking show. That's right, because then why not, you know, like everything, why they are not. I just thought about it, and as like I said at the beginning, I had no clue what the stories would be, what the real context of the show was. As I kind of started, it started unfolding and the l g b q T I A community themes were unveiled. It was just like madam honored. I'm an ally first up and second of what. I'm honored too to be able to, like you said, give language to it for somebody. I never had it when I was a kid. My friends who are gain never had it when I was a kid. I was just saying, the community never had it when there were kids, And I'm just like, well, I can give. I can be a part of helping somebody feel feel human, feel except to feel wanted to feel loved. I'm about that. I'm about that. I feel exactly what I was about to say that It's so human, it's so touching, it's so emotional, it's spiritual. The music is incredible, just incredible, like brib Vosis like for Real to arc and arc and Art and arc and and you know, to to build. What I think is the most important thing you know in a in a career is to have longevity, to be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want for the long run. You said it like you gave us the decades, Ja Jail, you gave us the decades about what you should be doing and how you should be doing. And I'm like, on the money, exactly that you said. The folies, I felt like was for when you want to do it, or like working, when you want to work? How how are you how you want? And that's exactly where I'm at right now for me too. But I feel like I was like, yo, I'm on parf Okay, I'm good. I'm not crazy, you know, because you mentioned like two things you said this role has a lot to do with like who you are in your family. I think what you're the second of nine and you did this for your nieces and your nephew. So you gotta tell us, like what's the family? What do they think? What they're saying? They just love having Anti Stelle on TV, hearing my voice and then being like that's Anti. I remember that They sent me a video like two three years into it, and I'm a I'm a weeper. I've learned now I cry all the time. I never knew it before. I was like thirty five, and then I hit thirty five and it was like who works, And like, I feel like I look at that video and I cry every five minutes, like every time I saw it, because I was just like, oh, my goodness, like they really do know it's my voice like it, you know. And then, like I said, I feel like in order for us to like, just as humans move forward, we have to give. We have to start raising the kids in a way more inclusive, in a human way, right. And I'm just, like I said, I'm just honored to be a part of what that looks like. Like we did something amazing with that. I didn't even know what I was signing up for, you know. I was kind of like just I was just like, this is good. I caught my dream, I caught my wish. Okay, God, you said bigger than me? Cool, cool, cool, more real talk after the break, Well, ma'am, I'm here. I'm here with one of your your bands. And it still has been so sweet over the years. Sending sending side things from Garder and it just has been very, very lovely, and we just wanted to thank you. The little boy that you talked to then as become this guy. Let me see, it's about to scare me by that boye. It's deep. How are you? I'm great? How are you? I am amazing? It's so good to see you again. Do I mean it's just grow look a yeah, I guess I feel special. I get I get like a guest appearance from the one I only I don't know what you're saying. The first we've never got. It's not on the show. I am so honest, and it's so peopful to speak to you, sweetheart. You look incredible. You're having a good sunday. You are jil Well does mean it's like it's like looking at two faces. Thank you. I'll do it. That one of the fourground, one of the backgrounds. The problem. Oh, he would killed problems. That's what he is that I killed. He reminds me so much. Yeah, that's what that is. He really doesn't remind him. Grew well done. He was trying so hard to control his voice because you know we're there, so is the voice pre stage stored answers because you know it does what it does, and he didn't want he didn't want that. Yo. I'm curious because says Joe Barjette on, like, how do you how do young folks been responding to you when he comes to the show, since you're whole parades for this woman. Okay, yeah, it's there. If you don't know, ladies and gentlemen, if you don't know about this wonderful show, if you don't know about Stephen Universe and you've been get involved. It is. Um. It is as healthy as any television show in the history of television. It is good for the heart, it is good for your intentions, it's good for the spirit. It's good for understanding other human beings. UM, without without judgment. Um. It is is absolutely beautiful and we're sincerely proud of of you. Thank go ahead, thank you, thank you. I feel like even the impact even on young people has extended to to adults because I don't know this for a fact, but I just want to say this really quickly. I was obsessed with that show Lovecraft Country, and that was a really particular episode called the I Am Episode, which talked about black women in our evolution. And I'm sorry there was a depiction woman in the future that was absolute, and I was like, listen, somebody, and I wanted to mention that because to take because that image is that powerful, that that as adults in an adult show where adults will be watching that, they of all of the images of what they felt the black woman would be in an infinite future, they chose the image of garning good God, I am sorry. That to me was transcending. That's that's when you know you've done something that has transcended simple light. So I know that's not that's not a question, that's a comment. I want to I want to ask you to hear what you think about that and how you responded when you first realized that the flooded. My texts and my d m s and my my tweets were being flooded. And I was like, what do you? What do you because I okay, so I'm I'm a punk. I don't watch scary things. I don't watch because I will dream about right, I really will, Like you know, with ay, as we absorbed, right, so then you did, it comes back out or as I jump out of my sleep, that's how it comes back out. And I don't like that. So I just decided to stop a while ago, so I don't watch Lovecraft Country. I watched the clips and I saw the pictures, the text, the d m s, the clips, and I was just like, hold this. Look at I literally just like, well look at this. Look God couldn't make this up. I couldn't make this up. Like cool, thank you. And that's I was like reposted it and saying thank you, like God, it's good. Like I didn't make this up. I didn't, you know, I was giving it in a dream and it became this. I just played my part. I just I followed along and I played the part that I was given to play. And and you know, it's me. It means something to someone beyond me. It means what we do every day means something to somebody beyond us. And then this means a lot to a lot of people, you know. And I'm just again, I'm just happy to to play, to be here, man, I'm like, this is I'm saying here like three seconds from ball and every time I stopped talking, So this is just like that's what we do. Welcome, Welcome to the baby party, Happy free boobs and real tears a regular basis Yeah, we're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back. So there is one question and that is a step. Yes, what's on your heart? Ah? Oh today, don't need to rush, take your time. Oh my goodness, the day was today is good so far. I was just reminded. I was at church this morning. I was just reminded, and it keeps going around in my head. So I was just reminded to like of all the things, with all the things that we do to get us wherever we go, like prayer is a powerful way to do it right. And and because you know, like there's like all the different I believe in everything. I believe in the ancestors, I believe in all of the things. I believe that God made it all. But the point is God made it all right. So today I was just like sitting in church and just got reminded like of like particular moments where I was going through all the processes. I was in front of my all every day, and I was praying every day, and I was missing the key thing, which was like in the name of Jesus, which was like I had decree and I declare, which was calling in the blessings and it was just it punished me in the face this morning, like at at church, this one it was just like, yo, you're forgetting that you know the detail and to and to say it with conviction. You know, you're forgetting that this is this is what brings in the blessing. This is what brings in the thing. And I don't want no no fluffy and the thou thou prayers. He just wants you to talk say the thing. And so always been a lot of things in my personal when I'm just like, oh, so I can't wait to be married, when my husband, I want my baby, I'm ready for my kids, I'm ready for the I'm ready for this the next side of my life to start, you know, to or to to to bloom. And I've been frustrated about that. So this was like a reminder like, yo, I hear you, I hear you. I need you to do one thing for me though, you know, so this is what's been in my heart. It's just like for anybody that needs it, like you know, declare it. Be clear about what you've got to be clear about the things that I put in your heart. They're not there for no reason. It's yours you know. That's that's it. Yeah. I love the idea of decreeing and declaring h because it's like there's so much power and the things that we say, and it's like we have to say the thing. I remember sometimes I would pray in my car, just talking like I just have a whole conversation, and I had gotten into this mode where all I understood to do was ritual prayer, or all I understood how to do was to have be on my knees or have my hands a certain way or being a certain place. And I identify with um the idea of what it is you're saying, how you're saying it, and being really intentional about that you know, and you know, regardless of whatever your faith is, I think it's really important to be specific about what you say and you know, and how you say it, and and being you know, open to the fact that you're thinking these things, saying the saying the thing and thinking the thing kind of different, you know what I mean. It's the specifics. For me, it's it's the specifics, like paying for specifics. You want what you want to be like ridiculously specific about what it is and honest. Okay, Amen, anybody could pray for a for a husband or spouse or mate and get something absolutely terrible. Get it, but you have to be specific about it. A while, a lot of our sisters are really paying attention to the net worth or gross, you know, paying attention to what this person has or doesn't have, you know, just to shout out to remember the character of the human being you're talking about with, because that comes, um, that's what that's that's the meat, that's the that's the part that's gonna get you full in bed and replenished. Okay, it could be or it could be the way or to say it in or whatever it else, you know you want to call it. But I'm just gonna go ahead and call it to meet. But it's good. It's good for you too, to be specific, because we are women of a certain age, and we all know what we want and what we don't want, and so why not go ahead and tell God, like to all I've learned from lessons. Yes, So I'm not asking for what I asked for two or three years ago God, because I'm listening and I'm learning, Yes, God, I yes, you know what I mean. And then really being specific and saying like, well, yeah, you want a husband, you want to a partner, you want to want the best friend, and you want to laugh with them. You you want them to be open to uh, the things that you say. You want them to be able to learn from you and from them. Like it's just I love them. I personally love the process. I don't love the process of let me not get a twist. I don't know the process of being single and having to ask these questions. But I do love the process of learning from myself and my actions and asking from now and knowing what I want. You know what I'm saying. I did say, I did the US before. I just I don't want my house, but yeah I'm my husband. I wanted to and I did the general right, and then this dude team along and I remember feeling like after like a week of being around and being like, I, huh, this this can't be this can't be it. This, this ain't the model that you wanted for me. Jesus right, This ain't this ain't the Tesla kid out that ots for right. No, right, this is this is the Ford. It was because you let me, let me can I can I interject a little bit one this one I now has been married for three thousand seven four. She also has se nineteen children well with her with her HU also at twenty orgasms a week, so we see, and it's the lines for me. But a week. Look, I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'm gonna. I'm a client. It's a lot of that's a lot of orgasm taking parties ahead. Sorry, so that's a nice, good amount. That's a good amount. You put seven days. You just vide that and carried it on. Okay, anyway, I love it. I mean, but I'm gonna I'm gonna say this about the uh, partnership. It's not marriage, right, that's what Those are two different things, that's what I'm saying. Different than when I said that. That was that right your nails when you said two different things that the metaphor was just like back the metaphors. I broke that nail. So there you go. So there's a with that language correct, Asia will do what I said then I said partner. I didn't say husband. When I said partner, I would say partnership. And the reason why those things are different, the reason why those things are different and not because the intent is different. It's because of what we've done to these things, how we created institutions and not been attached things to them make us look at it in a general way that is aside from what we know love to be. Because we assigned love to certain spaces. We say love lives in this space, and this space is space, and if we don't get access to that space, we don't qualify it as love. And so love and how it exists in a partnership is not specific to marriage. If you want to be married, that's great. You want to be partnered with somebody, that's a different thing. And a partnership can exist in a marriage, but a marriage can exist without partnership. M So that and so I think it's important to think about these things and and and the ways in which partnership lasts is its ability to be flexible, to evolve, to change, and it cannot be rigid. So as you pray for partnership, you have to pray for the ability to be open. That you're not gonna know what to ask for specifically about every little thing. You will not be and you're not even capable of making that prayer because love does not exist in that binary way. Love exists in all many, many, many ways, and it's important to honor it in all the places it comes because if we focus on it as this place that can only exist in that spot, right, then we mess with our sense of worthiness. So if you don't get access to that spot, then it means you're not worthy of love, and that's not true. So you're that the idea that we have, these ideas about what love is, and if it doesn't suit the idea that we've established, then we don't recognize it as love amen marriage. And so I think, and I think, I think it's important to allow it to be the fluid thing that it is, so that then if you don't ever get access to marriage, that you can see love and its abundance in your life in all the ways in which it shows up and nurtures and feeds you that it is. And I know, coming from me, that is saying okay, yeah, for you, you can say that, but let me say this to you. Marriages fall apart even when they don't end. What so what you may be looking at a marriage that has lasted and you'll be thinking, oh, yeah, that's what I want, and that thing could be in shambles see still, can I ask you a question in this moment as you are listening to Asia talk, because I don't know about you, but meeting you both the single girls here with the no babies, so I feel like sometimes listen to Asian Jill talk, We've grown up on a certain thing that Asia just acknowledged, right, this whole idea of marriage, husband and this is what this is what your goal is, and stuff like that. However, we are also conscious individuals, and we have people in our lives, like these two women who will let us know the truths of these institutions. Not just them, we have playing people that are alive to tell us the truths of these institutions. However, in our inner body parts, our inners are fighting. Our inners are fighting with what we know to be true and what we also have been pushed who has been pushed into our little girl bodies since we got our first Barbie doll or whatever the doll baby was. So I'm just am I wrong? It's still feeling You're not wrong. Listen, I think, uh, two twelve, when I got when I went home, this is an example from then to now two twelve and go home to see my first niece for one like, so we do the last tradition forty days where you have the baby and the mother at home for forty days and then you do a ceremony. And I went home to see my first little sisters having her babies for a day. And I'm there with like women heavy, right, women heavy, And one of my outheries is like, you ain't had a baby, just have a baby. And I said to lady two things. Um, I can call you lady now because I feel like I'm grown right. Um. I was just like, lady, you don't even know where I live. Second of all, I'm don't I'm not doing this on my own, Like what do you mean, just have a baby. And I think to myself, ten years later, Okay, she's she said it wrong, But I understand where she was coming from with it as being a woman, as being able to make that decision for myself. It shouldn't be held up on anything or anyone else right, or anybody's version of events, or whether I want to this when we live in a whole day for an age. But the thinking behind it is what had me like, girl, I don't want to do it. I'm not not I don't want you. I can't do this on my own. I'm not able to write, and had me and are holding pattern for a very long time, like not not that I couldn't have had a kid or whatnot, but had me myself arrested if it didn't go with this particular way, in this particular format, with this particular guide, and I don't want it, and I'm scared to do it, like no, it's only take it's taking me this long to get new files to understand that, like you said, age, it's love, It's all around us. If I want it, it is there now. I do still believe I need help, okay, because you do. I'm tired, righty, But I'm no longer afraid of the idea of you know, having a child, that the help won't be there, that the help and the love won't be there, and the help will be just it just made come in the pack of you. Thinks exactly right, that's exactly it. But hearing that when I was thirty two and like everything was so uncertain and then this lady was coming to tell me this, like who don't even know where I live in the United States, Like even though she's my family. I said, you're not flying out to help me. You're not coming out. My mama has like twelve other kids to take girls. She ain't she'll come, but she staying, you know, how would I do this? So I just agree, and I'm want to say, I'm grateful because you're giving me extra new files. You're giving me new files to kind of quill and quiet the old files that don't work for me anymore at this stage in my life, you know, like just take me in. Yeah, like, because that's what I think, especially, and I'll say it's like in our life, like we you know, we need new files. We're not. We're not thirty five, We're not we need new files. I don't have a big ship. Oh we will. I don't have a big existence. So I'm listening to you talk, and I'm like, that's how this goes cool. Thank you. I'll take the bitst I work for me, and maybe the bits that don't work right now we'll work in the future. But right now I'm listening and I'm grateful. I really am. Like I listened to the podcast every week, so you know, because I love Yeah, We're so grateful to have you here, and so exceptionally proud of you. Go lie continue to lie for me personally, Um, I just think that you're the sweetest. You've been the sweetheart since we've met, like, and it's in an industry where a lot of people are sweet for the moment, you know what I mean. You have been very consistent and I'm very grateful for that. Here's the deal for me, friends, when it comes to prayer, I do not ask for anything. I thank God for everything so in in in my specifics, you know, I'm thinking, I'm thinking the creative for this moment. We're having strong, powerful women who are also vulnerable, who also are funny and love to have a good time, and that are growing. I'm very grateful for that, and we're very grateful for all of you listening to j dot Elga podcast. We thank you so much. Please take good care of yourselves. You fine, amen, Hollelleen. Come on how Do You Eat an Elephant? One? By? It time, Hey listeners, it's Amber the producer. Can we take a moment and just appreciate how sweet and vulnerable a style is in this episode and in life. In today's how Do You Eat an Elephant? Segment, I want you all to get into her character Garnett on Steven's Universe. You can stream episodes or watch the movie on Hulu, HBO, Max, Apple TV, and Prime Video. Hi if you have comments on something he said in this episode called eight six six, Hey Jill, if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot Il. The podcast JA dot Ill is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcast from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
