That's A Shame!

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot M, a production of I Heart Radio. Hello, Hi, how are you? I hope you're so good? Oh man, I hope you're so good. Welcome to Jay dot Ill the podcast. I'm here with you know who lies? St? Clair? Hello? I don't know I thought Rihanna when you said that for him. Sorry, I'm not mad, you know I know Rihanna? Yeah, I mean who don't. I don't know them at your greative thing. Gonna give a hello, Hi, y'all. That is fair enough. Yea, here is the here's a question. I know would being like jolly and that is good. That's good that we have the giggles. Yo. I had a friend who is dealing with a terrible accident. I know. This is so like the transition, my friends, is not good. That's how life is. Sometimes. Sometimes you're like chilling and and just gliding along, and then something major happens and it shakes your ship up so strong that you don't know how to move forward. They were in an accident, and in a car accident, and someone died from that accident. Jeez, that's big. That's like such a big thing. The loss obviously, the loss of life so major, and the shame that came along with that. They didn't, you know, have to do any jail time or you know, it was an accident. Nobody was drunk, nobody was high, nobody, you know, it was an accident, like accidents happened. Like, how how do you deal with the shame? That's a heavy one. How do you deal with shame? Yeah, that was pretty heavy. I don't know if I thought immediately about something like that, but that is that's intense. That's a therapy. Is how you deal with that? Change sounds and that one. That one was pretty heavy, And the only way I could think about it is that you know, when you have a baby and you have little kids and stuff, anything happened to your kids? When I think about shame, that's I hate to say. That's like immediately where my head goes is mom guilt and mom shame if anything happens physically to your kids. Like I even saw this on TikTok. A girl said, I raised the whole kid while I was in school, except for that one time she rolled off the bed and I laughed at it, but I thought her needing to say that that baby rolled off the bed like that means that's sat in the back of her mind. You know what I'm saying. It's like the first piece of shame for most mothers, isn't it. Like because Jen didn't roll off the bed, but I tried to cut his little fingernails and got a little piece of finger and man, I tell you the look on his face. I can still see it. I can still see that look, like you hurt me. And I certainly didn't mean to do that. But and and even now he's twelve years old, he like, he was like, I'll cut it myself. Mom. I'm like, how do you even? He was an infant. They had a little paper nails, you know, a little nothing. I sure enough cut that baby, and I just feel so bad about it. Old puppy cut him like he was a puppy that was hold not all. And like, you know what I mean, Like it's nothing I could do about that. I'm like, you have to forgive me, Can you just forgive me? I think that's a part of it. I think that asking for forgiveness, you know, is a part of it, whether you're asking the person who you feel or they feel you've done or you feel you've done wrong. Because that's what it is if you let me look at this definition here a shameful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, done by oneself or another. So many of those I got stuck in my head to what to choose at all. The embarrassment of my show. My embarrassment and shame goes back to being a child and embarrassing my father when I met his childhood friend Michael Peters, who was the choreographer for the Beata video and dancing on the ceiling, and I said to him as a six year old, when my father said that, I said, but you can't dance better than Michael Jackson, and you know poor. The greater part of fifteen years, my father never let me forget that you embarrassed me in front of my best friend. There was also the shaming story of when I was younger and I was in a museum, a black museum, and I saw a black mask and it was so dark that it scared me, and my black, andy, black ass mother was like, never in your life, wire you'd be scared of a black image, and beat me in that museum, and never let me forget that you were scared of black people in that moment, and that will never happen. Like I have many you like I have many, many stories, many stories. I feel like my shame, kind of my childhood shame is tied into m M. I'm gonna go ahead and say it, teenage sexuality better than white supremacy. Okay, you know it wasn't white supremacy. But you know we'll get to it. Don't work, you have time. But you know, I think that I've been thinking about certain things that I did, and I'm like, oh, I shouldn't did that or and I mean, as much as I feel like free in my body and self now, sometimes I do tap into those feelings of being a young person and and and and feeling like, dang, I made a stupid decision or I shouldn't have done that, and one of my big shames that I dont I dealt with as an adult. I'm finally over it. For years, I had carried a lot of shame for having not graduated from high school and I got my g D, and I always used to think that, you know, I would cringe when people would say, oh, you're smart, and I would be like, wha, No, I'm not you don't even know. I'm actually not just becausema thing. That's why you would say no. Yeah, I mean, it seems silly saying it, but I'm just trying to be honest. You know. I had a lot of shame around it. Most people that I knew went to college, and then as I got older, I had friends who had whole advanced degrees. I had pH d s, multiple advanced degrees. So to me, it was like, I never thought about the fact that I always felt like I could intellectually talk to those people. That never occurred to me in my mind that wait a minute, you think you're so stupid, but these are people who you talk about things too. You're the scarrow. You're the scarecrow, you know what? And I'm glad you said that, because the significant part of the Whiz for me was when Diana Ross was sitting on the ground with Michael Jackson in that part and she opens up the top of his head and she goes garbage. He had put so much garbage in his own mind about who he was that he began to believe it, and so I identified with the scarecrow. I definitely had a lot of um, what is that thing where you, Uh, imposter syndrome. You know a lot of that feeling I didn't belong in certain rooms and didn't belong with certain people. Uh that somehow or another, Why am I here? Why do I get to be here? I felt that way about my talent before. I felt that way as a mother. That has been one of the biggest challenges of my adult life is getting over the shame of feeling like I wasn't good enough girl. Now and now you're talking about deep shame deep No, I mean, I'm just I'm just gonna put it out there. I feel like I feel like I'm speaking to everybody's story. I think you are, because yeah, I heard mine in there. That is my story more real talk after the break. I was just thinking about this the other day because I was like in my friends one of my friends sleose, my DC friends, A lot of them went to you know, more house and spell men and stuff. And I never got married early in life, and so I'm one of the few. I am the only single I think female of our group. And there is some interesting shame that you have to deal with in that. But because I am now a part of this conversation on Jdi Ill you know, constant d programming and stuff, just understanding your place in the world. But yes, fighting the shame that you have not been chose or I always fight the shame like Y don't know that. I fight the shame of like nobody asking it, saying that want the rest of day life with you, or the shame of that. You know, I have really great parents that would make amazing grandparents. But the shame is a powerful drug. It's almost as powerful as fear. So it's tied to fear. It's married to fear because it's like, what is it that you're afraid that people will not give you? What is it that you think you're not going to get and receive, you know, because of this thing or this moment in your life, this this this part of your existence. And I had to kind of come to terms with that part too. One of them was unfortunately, like and I've talked about my dad a lot here. I love my father so much and I want to respect him in the fact that he's no longer here in the flesh. But you know, my dad had some complicated, you know, things about his life and may have been viewed as being a person who couldn't get their ship together to a degree, and so sometimes there were parts of me that felt like, oh, this is just part of my DNA. I was just built fucked up. And I mean, and I want to take this moment, and I don't want to bum anybody out. I want to take this moment because I know we're going to get to a different place in this conversation because all of us know better. But I want to take this moment to actually voice the truth about how deeply hurt and shameful I have felt in my life. Because there are some women out there who do know me from my work and no x Y and Z, and they have a tendency to put me up on this pedestal and I wanna I want to crack it in this moment because I need people to know what I've worked on on my inside, you know what I mean, what I've had to pull through, and the things I still have to subdue that I still have to say agent no, no, no, no no no, don't listen to that bullshit. Replace it with the truth. Replace it with the truth. Replace it with the truth. And I think shame has this tendency to show up as a voice in your head show up as this this, this, this person that's talking to you and telling you these lie about yourself, and you have to constantly be able to tell it sit down and shut the funk up. But you do understand, and I must get to see you and jail on that note, y'all, the whole cracking that pedestal thing. So what y'all don't know about this pedestal as you're on, because you know, I'm a fan too, so I feel like I can speak for folks who are you know, plan and supporters of yours, is that when you give these realities of who you really are and how hard and sometimes challenging it is to be the person sception of what people see you to be, you do know that that puts you further up on the pedestal. I just I think that you should understand that you're not cracking it with that. What you're doing is lifting yourself higher. Because now it's like she is she is a whole human being, and I get that, and I'm trying to understand that too, and so yes, and so now as you just shared that with me too, and she's still imagine she's still and you are still able to do this and make me feel this way from your art and things like that, like yeah, honey, you yeah, you ain't cracking. You just put the glue and that's what happened to be, y'all. I love you. I love you. What about it? If the the shame is something that's just a fact, you know, it's not it's just a fact, you know, like when it's not a lie, when it's not something that your mind is telling you, but it's just a fact. You know. Um, I was born with a lopoma on my lower back, and and boy, I always felt like I was some kind of mutant thingy because my my fingers don't really have bones, and I'm like they're real bendy and flexible. And my fingers and my hips are the same. It's very flexile. That it's not a flex that is just the fact. But as a kid growing up, you can't say that to that because I mean to um, But but I also had you know, this lie pomau a lipoma is it's like a ball of tissue, and very early on people noticed it and they called me like scoliosis, you know, like that was a nickname. You know that kids will call me scoliosis, and I just felt with somebody gonna say your your shirt is toughed and funny, you know, and try to fix it for me, like I still very much carry it. I still very much have it, you know, so like I think about it. I think about it every day because you know, I feel like as a human, like I'm not I'm literally not like anybody else, you know, like with people who are born with like six fingers or you know. I think that's probably why I love the idiosyncrasies of people so much, because I'm like you're you know. I guess maybe this is the way I rationalize it, or that I find some level of peace with it, because for a long time, I just didn't have peace with it. You know. I tried to get it removed to say, because the Bill Popper Dr Billy that it's not something that you could it's not something that you could pop. She's removes it like homeless, like she's yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm afraid of surgery because I just did not have a good experience. I tried to remove it once. Um, I had good health insurance when I was twenty five and I and I had it removed and it was not um. It was a very very painful process, and in about three years it grew right back, you know. So it's like, so go ahead and do this again and have it grow right back, you know, Like that is I can't even believe I'm saying it out loud, like it is such a thing for me. And then because I'm always trying to make peace with the ship that's in my life, I discovered that it's an a rogenous zone because I feel so shameful about it that when it is you know, tough on and loved on, that's a whole another level of excitement and you know, fluidity. So I guess because I have to go, I guess it's saying that, like I try to make peace in whatever way I can with whatever is going on with me. Sometimes that means an apology, and that ship the apology is sometimes to me, you know, like Okay, you know, don't don't be so hard on yourself, don't don't be yourself up so much. This is not something that you have done to yourself. This is something you were born with. And even even then, like I questioned, like okay, I love but I love God so much, and I'm like Okay, if you gave me this, there has to be a reason for it. I have to be strong enough to stick it out, you know what I mean, to just be cool with it at two, Like, I have a lot of thoughts, and I still have these thoughts at this time because just recently my sister mentioned it to me, and at first I was mad that she was even talk about it, But then I was like, why am I Look, it is what it is. She's known me, damn there all my life, like cut it out. And she was like, well, why don't you go to to to get it removed, you know, and then you'll feel better? And I was like, will I? Will I? You know, will I? But see that's a word right there, being attached to your wound, attached to the thing that you're ashamed of, attached to the thing you're shamed of. Yeah, I think, yeah, yeah, I feel like you can get used to a thing and you find a bit of identity in it, even in your color mechanism, like you know, uh, well, I feel ashamed about this thing, and so that makes me fuel to do this other thing to escape it. And so that kind of made me great or made me do such and such and such and such people. I think I'm minimized. I might minimize other people's stuff because I'm like, you know, like oh, they'll say something like oh why my my my thighs are too big, and I'm like, you don't have a lot of poems, you know, so wait, that's hilarious and can I want to share that I had? Just I feel like in the last five years, like women have started to shed the shame of like the five broid world. And they're doing it because you said, just in the sense of you a lot of poem and waits. To like get over these shames is by letting other women know that they have it right, because like literally and and it's funny because as much as even I posted like my fire broid stuff, I still get people going, oh, I didn't know, and I'm so glad that there's somebody else in the struggle and whatnot, because they're their shame depending on how you feel where your fire broids are, how they impede on your reproduction, how they impede on your period, the shame of like these heavy periods where you don't feel comfortable leaven the house, this pain that people don't understand because you gotta you still gotta work every day, but you're going through this pain like it's it's it's so much shame in that, and I just I appreciate the progress of women and sharing to make it the shame a little. Ultimately, what you're saying is that one of the ways you can combat shame is by like not being isolated, yes, isolation, yes, and feeling like yes because most of the times and that and that goes back to it's funny because it even goes back to this show j dr Il, and what we provide for people is this conversation where some of these subjects you like, I don't know if I feel comfortable saying this. I'm not the only person thinking this way. But then you listen to this show and you're like, oh god, I just feels so good to hear that somebody else is thinking this way. So yeah, applying that the same thing to kind of how Jill was feeling about her life home man, and how and how women are sharing with fibroid, you know, situations, Yeah, I feel like that's you know, we're about solutions, so I'm like, yeah, less isolation. What you said in your educated way Asa scare bro. I love it. You're funny, but I really did not think for I really did not think that I was and nothing. I didn't think I was human. Of always known I was human, but I always feel like, what what am I I was? You know, if you watch people, you would feel your whole tribe okay, nothing, but you've never seen this show. Nothing girl. Your people. Your people aren't on the internets like I'm telling you, and they have like homers in the craziest places. And sometimes you'll tell them and I might not want to cut it because it might grow backs like every day that girl, you missed it. We need to we need to share this with you because I'm telling you like it can go away. And there's so many people who have I mean, and they faced your back and they've talked about that how it is, how when they go out and they feel people are staring at them right over my safe messed with their Yes, they their intimacy. It's affected their intimacy. Girl, I'm trying to tell you. Listen offline, We're gonna watch people paper together. We all I'm find this doctor league. There was there was and I think it was in high school. There was a rumor that I had a tail, Oh mama, And I can see by the look on your face that this is deep. It is deep, It is deep. It hurt a lot, but you didn't know you had community. Man, That's all I'm saying. Like you, I just I just like the idea of that, like eliminating the isolation. You know, that's Can you imagine? Can you imagine being a man with a very small penis? M Can you imagine what that feels like? M M. You know, like carrying that there's like a shame involved with it. I mean I know that I've I've yelled out, like I shouted out the big dicks in the room. You know, I've done that, and then I didn't consider you know that there's some guys in there that don't have wallet. They've got other stuff to offer, but they don't have that particular thing. I think we have a hard time giving men pure in space to feel their shame and to feel their hurt. I mean, I know we talk a lot about women here. You know, I love me see women. I love black women, lift us up any chance that I get. But I know that the pain that men feel because they just don't there's no place for them to be vulnerable like they just and a lot of the things, a lot of the shame that they hold, and particularly around things like sexual violence and stuff like that that they've experienced, it they do not talk about. They not only do they not report, but they do not talk about it. No safe space and no safe space for them, and even down like you said, to physiological things for black from not just black men, but from men period, you know, to a small penises, not having a cut, body being, being overweight, body shaming for men. See, we talk about body shaming, and we center women a lot of for sure. And speaking of let me tell you the thing that made me think when we first brought this up, I had just read had essay by uh you know, I follow his his handle, his son of Baldwin, and so I was reading his blog and he was, you know, speaking about Little nos X. Yeah, and we don't have to go deep into that, because I know that's like deep on the internet. That's another conversation. But what he did talk about was that these last few visuals that um, these last two visuals in terms of videos that Little nos X had done, that that caused so much controversy. What he talked about, at the core of what is happening in these videos is the expulsion of shame. Is that intentional? I expel the shame, this shame that you want me to hold for you. Not gonna do it, Yes, not gonna do it. Think about that? And uh, what was it the slut walk, ma'am? Yeah, like there take your shame, Yeah, to to expell it. Yeah, the shame. We have two things allow you is not allowing yourself to be isolated. The second one is expelling it, like, not holding the shame that others want you to hold. We need one more to round it out. A's I don't know. I mean, it doesn't have to be three. Yeah, I want another one. Look, well, let's keep talking because you know that it'll come out. It'll come out. We're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back. But you mentioned a slot walk. Let's talk about that. The respectability crap. You know there are women that like, look, I do what I do, I do, I practice safe sex, I'm not harming anybody. I do what I like. Why do I have to feel like I'm lesser than because I'd like to get down why. I thought it was fair enough. At first, I didn't understand. I was like, why is it a slut walk? Why is it that? But there are women that you know clearly have decided. Look, I own my body, it's mine. I thought Blanche had worked ou out for everybody, like I love when they gave us, Like yeah, man, you know what they gave us, Blanch. But that's funny because I just recently met Erica Alexander played max and and Shaw. Yeah, and I thought about max And from Philly right, mask and Sew as a character also did that, I think, And because she mixed together like this something you know that that that autonomy, that sexual autonomy with also being I'm smart, you know, I say what I want. I'm single, apologetically, unapologetically without children. I'm not trying to be married on our kids. Maxine Sean for the blacks, and Samantha for the masses, ma'am for the masses, not just the majority. The majority are people of color for the minority. Samantha for the minority. Kim control sex in the city, Kim control sex. Oh got you got yea yeah? Yeah, but yeah, same thing. Thank you bad you write for the math. You right, yeah, thanks for the correction. We just we just want to be right, are crowd for the people. Yeah. I've just really been trying to find the good in whatever it is. That if there's some good in it, honey, that is my gig. I guess because I was born different. Like I literally look for the good in pretty much everybody, you know, like if if if you got you know, it's it's some things that are cute, like freckles, you know, you know, those are cute things and people like. But it's the other stuff too, you know, Like I like, for instance, my kid, My kid was born with fused wrists, so he cannot hold his hand vertically. Yeah, in a serving kind of way. It's impossible for both of his hands. He can't do that. So I you know, they we talked about it, the doctors and I, and they were like, well, we can break both of his wrists. First of all, as a mother, you already know when somebody talking about harming your kid. You feel it in your feeling, right in your jot youat it's right there. You feel that thing while all up in your womb. That's where it happens first. You feel it first. I said, Oh, I don't. I don't know about that. But then they told me that there would be very little possibility or his arms to grow the right limb and I was like, uh, that ain't that ain't gonna work. You know, my the men and my family are always some six too and up. I'm like, imagine, you know he's six two six three, you've got the little arms, Like, that's not gonna be nice. And this is what I have done, and this is what I continue to do with him because you know, he feels different too, and I remind him, son, you are literally a black man who cannot hold your hands out. You can't hold your hands out for nothing. Everything that you do, you're going to have to earn everything. And that gives me such like it makes him feel proud of himself where he accomplishes things. And yes, we have to learn how to do things differently than other people, but you know that kind of what it is. It's just trying to figure out another way to do something and find peace, you know, find peace with that. But yeah, I guess I could go see the paper. People. I'm just not a fan of surgery. I'm just I'm just not I mean, she doesn't in her office. It's not even your girl. Yeah, it's not even with you. Because I'm such a big fan of the show. I don't want to I don't want to be whatever, but I love the show. I'll watch you all the time. So I will go with you if you want me to, I will go with you. You're gonna have to go to her anyway, because you know you go to her. I'm gonna think about this, you know, I'm gonna think about this. I don't see any I'm not finding any reasons not to do it. And I'm so glad that I said it out loud. Yo, do you can you imagine that what you're doing for the limp Homa community right now? I mean, I'm gonna tell you all this. I told I had publicly never said anything about the whole g D thing, and my girlfriend had designed a T shirt that said don't let these degrees fool you? And I loved that t shirt, but it obviously did not apply to me. And so I called her and I said, can you do one that says don't let this g D fool you? And she said, she said yeah, So she made me the shirt. Okay, she made me the shirt. Then she sent the shirt and I couldn't put it on. I could not put it on. When I got it, I was like, oh, do I want to wear this? And then finally she posted about it because another person that she had given it to, they made a post about it. And I read this woman's story and I thought, okay, agent, you're so bugging so mind you. I went through all of that and I put the shirt on, I posted about it, I talked about it, and do you know that, to this day that is still one of the things I got them those comments on. Ever, so many people came to me later and said, I'm so glad you said that, because that's my story and this happened to me, and I did this, and I didn't finish school because I was pregnant, but now I have my master's degree and or or I went on to start a job that you know, I've been at now for twenty five years and I have seniority, and I'm people who went on and told me all these amazing stories about them not getting asked with deployment. So the reason why I'm saying all this is like, yes, girl, when you when you released that shame and you talk about what is going on with you? And there's so many instances of this, like you said, even girl, so many that you free people, You free them. Even when Michelle was on here and she talked about her experience with how she was able to conceive her children, you know, even like Gabby Union and how she talked about her process and all these different things that happened to us in our lives that we just don't want to talk about, but we freeing other people from that same kind of isolated present. Talking about it freeze people like it, really truly does. That's how I feel every time I read a comment about this show, like I do people appreciate these conversations that are usually in private, or we would be drinking. You know, I think we should start I think we should start drinking today. I feel like drinking. I feel like I'm having a glass of sipity sip today. I always have that. That's that, that's that good red wine. Apothic, apothic, that's what that is, right, it's about mid grade. But we're gonna we're gonna eat that there. No, it's my mama like it. So I always thinking my mama like it is good. My mother always liked bed grade to cheat. Yeah. Well, I grew up thinking my mother drake expensive wine until I got grown and I was like, oh, bless her heart. It's the holding of the glass, darling. That's what it is. It's the whole thing of the glass that defines if it's quality or not. I think mother's always do cheap ship, make cheap ship look real classy? Yeah, I do. My mother and my aunts with that man to Chevis. Baby. I had some band of chefs not too long ago, just because I was like, what was that? Like, I've done that a couple of times. I had a big mack because I was like, you know what, when I was a kid, that was like such a big deal. It's such an awesome treat to have a dog on big Mack. Tell me Southern Home wasn't the finest of lines. The first life in the box, just a you know what, I'm like, like, sutter Home, you ain't got that suther Home. I couldn't eat that thing at all. First of all, I'm just gonna eat that listen. But that's that's the thing, is that your parents you you you, and it makes sense because you know, ain't none of these people have no money. That's true. That's that's true. That neither that's the problem. That's then you're white. Your weed ain't got no season. But I now, mommy, mommy, not you. I'm just saying, for instance, I know you know the good week, but seeds burning the seats, like you know, wise bird is because it's topping girl. We're talking about nothing we supposed to talking about. It's so much more fun than dealing. We're thinking about being shacking about something. Look here, back to the smaller premises out here. Oh, I will have you know that in my top three was mad. That was about the size of my thumb fully erect. Well, the thumb is better than the pink. I'm just telling you. So you have, you have hope. You gotta learn how to do things a little bit different than maybe some people. Yes, yes, because maybe maybe nobody ever told you that we're not dealing with shame out here, you know, phoning guys out there, you know, just know that you got any bad feeling sake. Jail Scott saying the Top three lovers. One of my top three, it was it was very what you guys are enjoying is that part of life where you get to and you come to where you do not give a I feel that that is also a key to eliminating ship. It is ha ha there it is against not giving the damn girls. That's what happening. We're talking about the wee earlier. So I just you know, I'm talking and I'm not talking. I'm talking about when when you say not giving a fuck, that means that there's a difference between a single fuck and zero. So I need to take it not at but you're saying like just tak not not one. You have to him in all ero zero zero zero. That usually come up playing some working time into this thing called life. But well, I think it also comes with with revealing to to others, to you know, get rid of the shame of a thing that's true, that's true. You know there was a thing in the in in that movie M eight mile where at the end when uh, the eminem gives like the epic the epic freestyle and he starts saying basically like I'm gonna tell you all of the stuff you're gonna say about me that you think gonna hurt me. I'm gonna say it. I must say it before you get to say it. So now that I've told you all the things about myself that you were gonna use shame me in this moment, Now what you got? Can I sight there origins of that because I didn't see eight Mile, but I believe he stole that from Steve Martin and Rock Sanne. But that's cool. You know, I'm gonna say all this shit about my nose. Remember when he played Sero, he was like, I'm gonna do all all the bad things about yeah, say it all so you can't. I'm just saying, but I like when I'm white man stepping sample another one. Yeah, I mean they're still from each other. That's cool. Did no credit? Don't credit to you? But yeah, I think so. It's like you gotta not care. I can't care about it no more. And I feel like that's been a wonderful thing for me too. It's like I just don't. I don't care what you think, what you it's not a consequence. I'm here. I may be black, yes maybe, yeah, yeah, God, I'm here. I'm here. Oh. I love you and we're right and we're doing all right. You know what I'm saying. I think so I do. I do too. I can't I can't even run. I'm kind of doing great out here in this world. Yeah, yeah, girl, I gotta. I'm not ashamed to say it. It's a thing you can't handle, shame and saying that when you are doing good. Okay, yeah, I'm I'm with these things. Yeah. M Thank you so much for listening to jad L. It is both a pleasure and honor and a journey we learned. We listen to each other and we grow. That's the most beautiful part of it all. Thank you so much, everybody. Peace in love, y'all. Hi, if you have comments on something we said in this episode called eight six six, Hey, Jill, if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four five five, don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot Il the podcast. This podcast is hosted by Jill Scott, Laya st Clair, and Agr Graden Danceller. It's executive producers are Jill Scott, Shawn g and Brian Calhoun. It's produced by Laya St. Clair and me Eve Jeff Coke. The editing and sound design for this episode we're done by Christina Loranger. That's that is thick kool aid. What you know about that negro? Jill? What do you know about that flexia negro that caught on negro and that black bottle that all the black parents had? Girl? Question you fucky? I just calling that negro. I just the black bottle with the black name chaf Hey, baby, let's get it. Let me get it. So we was parting at my parents house like we got that neighbro going out Boom j dot Ill is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.