Run it Back: Young Jawnin

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot Il, a production of iHeartRadio. Hey everybody, it's your girl, Aja Graydon downs Lur you know how it is any who. I was asked to choose my favorite episode, and it's no surprise. My favorite episode is the one featuring my daughter, my daughter Lana, and it's called Young Joining. The thing about it is that, you know, having teenagers has been a big challenge for me. But to be truthful, I enjoy young people a lot. I learn a lot from young folks, and I think this generation has so much sta can offer us, as all of us did when we were young. But for me, I really have tried to embrace all the things that they have to give me. And my daughter is one of those reasons, along with all of my children. But this episode really just touched my heart and helped to validate the reasons why I love giving young people a voice. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it. This is my favor, y'all. Give it a listen. Let me know what you think. I don't know, good people. It is a pleasure to be alive, Yo, It's a pleasure to be alive. Thank you so much for listening. Taking some of your time to listen to Jay dot Il the podcast. My name is Joe Scott and I am here with my sister friends. I lay like Saint Clair or whatever way you want to say, Yes, I am here. You know I like that like she don't know that. It don't matter as long as you just saying whatever. Go ahead say Lia Saint Clair. Okay, you know, with a with a period, just so you know, just so you know, we're still introducing ourselves, just because you know, we want jal exactly where you are. You're a j dot L with Lia Saint Clair and Joe Scott am agea great dans la. Yes we like we like a three named baby, don't we like her? We're into it. We're into it, y'all are to a little hyphenatu sitch speaking of the babies and not not exactly babies. I went to see a concert the other night, y'all, and I went to see Steve Lacy with my kid. Right now, Jet brought Steve Lacy to my attention in the first place, and I got this this overwhelming sense. I got some Prince vibes in there. I was like, okay, you know, I enjoyed the music much. I thought the lyrics were very thoughtful. I was like, okay, you know, said dug in some more and I was like, oh right, you know, happy to see it, Like we're sincerely happy to see whenever. You know, the young people not only are they like they're vibing, but they're also like musically, you know, like it's a super talent, you know, like yeah for super talents, Like okay, that's what's up. And then there before him, his opening app was this young girl. Um. I keep saying young girl. She's probably like twenty something. I don't know, um, but her name is Fuchet and she does music. Come on. Yes, the whole esthetic, you know, that was really working. It was such like a homage to the Hirie carrew um I want to say correctly, the like Japanese anime. Oh okay, so you know this Afro pump babies, that's an Afro punk baby and for show, it was just really good to see that kind of energy, you know, And I was like, I like, I like this, I like being around this. This is such a beautiful thing. Um. And oftentimes, you know, we end up spending time with people around our own age, which could definitely beat to our detriment. Oh yes, yeah, y'all know how I have all I have like an under lining irritation with my generation, like anyone who listens to this podcast though, like, but we irk me? Come on, come on, what is it? The irks? Uh? We irked me because I feel like for us, we're the We're the generation who grabbed the pearls, yanked them off, and threw them into the gutter, only to crawl around on the ground looking for each individual pearl, string them back together, put them on our necks just so we can clutch them. Oh Dan, you have to read us like that. I feel that, and that that annoys me, Like, y'all can't possibly be the face down, butt up generation clutching pearls. Y'all have here clutching pearls. That is so tru I would telling. Let me telling these old ladies. Yes, you're such an old lady, now you know. Now I think I'm an old lady now, Oh well, at least you you know. Well, listen, old ladies not bad. It's just made you old. Someone said this to me the other day. But like, if you don't get old, that means you die young. So be grateful. I mean that part. But it's just the continuing, the opening the chasm of the mind. What happened? You dig down deep and you know, you decide that this is the way everything should be. And because we grew up, this is her supposed to look at her. Fight it. I don't know how it's supposed to feel and how it's supposed to but that's not tried it. You gotta fight that. It becoming You're like, oh no, no, get abody, get out of here. No no, open your mind. Stop stop, it's closing. It's clothing, open back, open open it, open it because anything. Y'all. Don't watch y'all, don't watch Game of Thrones. Y'all, don't don't you don't like hold the door, Hold hold, hold door, Hold the door, and the door open for a bird, the new fresh you know, the cool wind and the new the new vibes, the interesting people with these thoughts that as a man that continuously will blow your mind if you let him in the door, hold the door. Oh yes, old door, old door. So so check this out. We have the privilege and the pleasure of talking to Lana Danzler. Hi, yeah, yeah, II listen this this little fresh faced this beauty. Good to see you again. It's nice to see you. It's nice to see you as well. You guys had a very nice introduction into the conversation, so I didn't want to interrupt, but um, it was it was actually interesting to hear you guys say what you were saying, because the other day it was actually in the car of my dad and I've been telling him for a while that I just wanted to take a drive with him and listen to some of the music that I like and just show it to him and like see what he thought. And when we were in the car, I showed him like some of the newer rappers that are out right now, and you know, like we were joking around. He was pretending like he liked it for a little bit, but then hegan again told me he was kind of like young people kind of operate on a different frequency, I guess, and it's like, and not that it's a bad frequency, but it's so much faster than what he's used to. Now. He's just more on a slow taste of journey as he gets older, so we like smoother music. But when he was younger, he tells me, it was kind of that same high frequency stuff. We like now. We like to jump around, we like to move so much. And you know, it's interesting. It's kind of like every generation is like that. It's like every older generation has always hated on the new generally. But he told me it's like less of a hate. He feels like it maybe more of a just misunderstanding. It's like a frequent back to the frequency kind of um analogy. It's almost like it's too loud for them. It's just like, why would you just be quieter? Like how I am right now more? She used there, And I think that was that was very telling to me, because again, I feel like it's easy to get into, oh my parents don't understand me, or this is you know, like they're hating on me. This is just life I like to live. But it's just like they did. They were saying that same argument a bunch of years ago. Yes, this the other day, me and my mom were talking about something that I wanted to wear and she kind of had a problem with but she was just like, you know, I've been through the same argument a million times my mother, and I was like, WHOA, If you've been through it, why can't I do it? This is that. But it's just like it's just it's like a slower frequency. I guess what did she say when you asked to that? I'm so curious. I'm like, so what was what's the answer? What is the answer if you've been through? She wore it? Okay, Well it's it's an age old thing. It's anybody that's confused. Lana is Agia and fifteen. Uh they're they're fifteen year old daughter. Yes, so you're clear. Yes, we got to do the echo fully. I know you got to rolland that's because you know that's my baby. Yeah, the conversation listen, So are we talking now, let's go. As soon as I heard my name, I was like, oh yeah, so the door has been open. So I'm na. Yeah. I think I think it's interesting because like my my teenager. So I have twins who are almost fifteen and December home girl. But but Jill Scott just said I'm fifteen. Thought I was correcting a lot of change. You know what, se right ahead, I'm gonna go ahead. I'm go ahead. Let that one slave get ready world more real talk after the break. So, yeah, I have fifteen year old twins almost fifteen year old twins, and then of course my eighteen year old just went away to college. And so now in the household we have we only have two official teenagers and then DNAs twelve, so he'll be thirteen in February. But yeah, so now we're experiencing the life of teenagers for the second time. So we have older kids who are twenty three, twenty and eighteen, and they're all outside of the well moved on with their lives, and so at this point now we're experiencing like a new group of teens, and so it's kind of interesting to kind of get into what's important to them and how they feel. Yesterday we had a conversation about about safety. And I posted about this a while back, just about what makes young people feel safe, and Lana had a discussion in class about it, and so you know, I really would like her to chime in about that in particular, because I think, really the conversation with young people has to start with safety. How do they feel safe enough to be in conversation and relationship with us, not just as parents, but just as elders in the community. Period. Oh yes, please, please and thank you. So I have this class freshman seminar, and basically, when I go to senior year, I'm gonna have to write a very long paper called a senior excent. You guys want to know about it to graduate. But this class freshman seminar is to prepare me for that. So they have plant little seeds of writing and finding arguments or specific pomps and pacific topics to help you with later on when you have to do that big assignment, to just kind of seat it into your brain a little bit. So we were arguing about whether when I argue, well, debating about whether kids getting out of school later would be safer for them on the way home, and it kind of despiraled this tangent about feeling safe in Philadelphia in general, which the black kids in my class kind of overtook, which just a little side you know about that. I go to Kappa, which is Creative Performing Ours High school in Philadelphia, and there are a lot of perceptions about the diversity at that school. But I would say it's very predominantly black. So there is not a single classroom without at least or at least ten black students. It's a very black But a lot of people don't know that but Kappa's very black, and we just kind of got into this large conversation about how it feels to be safe in Philadelphia or not safe more or so. And it was kind of going back and forth because there are a lot of black women in my class, and I consider myself particularly very educated on racial issues, but there's a lot of also black men in my class, and the topic of intersectionality was not being really focused on when we were having this discussion. And there was a very big thing where this girl was talking about how she felt unsafe due to being kind of cat called, and you know, once she takes the bus and to train the subway. And then there's this one kid in my class who's a black male. He goes, well, black men get murdered every day, and the statistics show that there's been more violence towards the black men since the beginning of time, and that really set me off, Like, first of all, what statistics statistics that you get this second of all, it just I just think, like like debate rule one on one, or even like respectable rule one on one, when someone who's marginal lives or especially more oppressed than you was talking about something, they're going through if you'll start your sentence with but and then something else, it's very big red flag, and it's very ignorant, and it's like a kind of ding ding ding. You're uneducated, like light in my head. And I also, though, feel like when black people are talking about our experiences, I don't think it's right to rob them of that Black year wrong or this year that. But I do think it's we should take the time to educate them, because again, I feel like sometimes we can't always articulate how we're feeling in a way that makes sense. So again, when I was in that class and a lot of my classrooms are talking about their experience and we have an opportunity to educate a lot of the white kids in the room, there was some language that I felt was not being articulated correctly, and I didn't want to misinform the classroom in such an important moment. So I took it a palm myself, and I joined the conversation late, but I took it a palm myself to try and get those thoughts out in a way that made sense for someone who doesn't have the black experience. But that was what I went through the other day that my mom was talking about. And I feel like being safe in Philadelphia and being and safe as a minor is very much in her type of situation. I really feel like, I'm like, we have so much stuff about what you can do to be safe, what you can do, But even then, you could do all of these things. You could stay in the house your entire life. You could still be a victim of attack. I mean, Brianna Taylor was in her own home, she was in her own home. She just still die from violence. It's like, what is it that you can do? And I don't mean that as the depressing thing, but even I said this at the beginning of my rant in the classroom, I was like, all of the black people that are here and are alive in America today are all here by chance. You could have been the most well behaved slave in the world, but an oversee her in a bad mood could have ended your entire bloodline just because they wanted to, because they were having a bad day. So my point is that we can do all of these things to try and assimilate, try to be safe, or we could dress a certain way, we cannot take public transportation, we could avoid bad streets. We could do this, we could do that. And even then being black in America and being black in Philadelphia, being black in the city, it's still it doesn't guarantee you safety, right. What was the response? What did everybody say? Want you well? Again? The very early in freshman year, so it kind of was like a silence in the classroom for a while, I'm sure. And my teacher, mister Rasher, he's a white man, and not only does he teach freshman seminar, but he also teaches African American studies at KAPPA, and he does seem to be very self aware about the fact that that's slightly weird. But he did tell me that he appreciated that I brought up the intersectionality in this topic because it hadn't really been addressed, and he liked the way that I worded it. But it did kind of leave a silence over the room. I think it also took was a lot to take in. Again, but that was the kind of the response to the room. I didn't get any bad responses. Even the black boy that had made the comment about will black men get killed every day? He was very silent and just like taking in the information that I said, he didn't have an attitude or make a face, because again, I was trying to educate the classroom. I wasn't trying to be rude or anything. Again, ignorance in the black community about black issues is still very prevalent. Like you'd be surprised about how many people don't know about their own culture and know about the real reason these things are the way that they are, the reason why we live in the hood and they live in the suburbs, the reason that this, this is that. And that's again why I felt like I needed to articulate some of the things that weren't you know, because not all of us have access to the information as to why those things are the way that they are. A lot of us, yeah, yeah, are you people are really thinking in broad strokes broader than ever before if you ask me, And I say that because I think are wal Miles and my generation was probably think about it this way, just going back a couple of generations. My grandmother was born in nineteen seventeen. So the odds of walking down the road and seeing somebody humes high you feel me, the odds of your father leaving, I mean, we still have these things. So that's the crazy part, leaving and not ever coming back because he's been captured and you know, mutilated is a real, very very real thing. She was around before they were really couldn't vote, right, cars were kind of they were new or didn't have one of those that clearly didn't have one of those. My great grandparents were sharecroppers. Yeah, and just to say that my great grandparents were share croppers. All right, so we're talking about my mother. You know, my mother's were nineteen forty seven, I believe, and she couldn't sit on the front of the bus. Then we have this generation, our generation, your parents on Lana, and we were pretty much able to do everything that we wanted to do, you know, if we wanted to go to college, if we wanted to wear pants. Because in the seventies, you know, we've got this natural hair and these vibes, and you know, everybody's standing up and discovering their blackness. And then you've got us, and now we've got you, and you all are more free than anything that I've ever seen. I think that there may be a slight sense of jealousy, you know, that may be some resentment in there because you all not all. You're able to own your sexuality. I admit to that. Yeah, you're able to start a business at a young age and be profitable from it. You're able to literally do anything. Your outlook is so far we haven't even seen you know how far you walk and go and how quickly you can do it. We have this mentality that you have to learn from the ground up. You have to and and these things are still good. I think it's still solid to learn something from the ground up. But you all, I don't know if it's if it's osmosis, like what's going on the side. Don't don't forget about the flip side, Jill though, tell me tell them. I let Lana tell us. As you were talking, I was just but we didn't have like shooting drills. We had fire drills. We didn't have shooting drills. That wasn't a thing. School shootings wasn't a popular thing that happened multiple times to where you were like de escalate like and even the thing with what's going on with policing and and black Post seems like more than ever. Because we didn't have the visuals, we didn't have video like we have today, and so I'm curious. I'm gonna let line of talk about speak like in terms of, like what are the challenges, like so we from our advantage point, we can see the advantages that you have. But like if you had an opportunity to speak out, because like at this point there's hella adults listening to this, so like if they needed you wanted them to know some of like particular challenges that they should be keyed into, and not to make you speak for all young people, speak for yourself, specifically yourself. I think one of the big things. It's just like I think this generation the internet has really been a huge part of making everything kind of more I just think like seeing what people are going through. I think first the internet was you saw the struggle and then finding literally watching the progression of people learning to deal with their struggle and being like I relate to that too. I think that's the reason why so many people have learned to be more open, because there's people whose entires, lives and the entire journeys are documented. Like there are people that I've followed on TikTok that discovered that they were trans and I followed their journey before they even knew that. So it's like you watch the progression of people's journeys in their lives, and then there's other viewers that are like, I relate to that people's mental health issues. This is that. I feel like that's how it's become more normalized in our society, because you are able to look into somebody else's eyes, into somebody else's life, and you can say I can relate to that. And I feel like before that, it's so easy for people to feel isolated in their environments. I feel like now it's more you see everybody like you, and and there are the downsides of that too. I feel like, again, some people play to other people's emotions and try and gain that relatability so they can try and force them into a type of lifestyle. You know, there's this kind of, uh, this joke on the internet, this thing called the manosphere or whatever. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of it. It's like those, yeah, those little motivational videos for men that start by applying to their insecurities and then they start saying this is how you fix it, and instead of actually being productive, it's just misogynistic viewpoints are telling them you can get women by being very disrespectful to women, and this is how you make money, this is how you like And there's even stuff like that exists like that for women as well, like where they try and apply to women's insecurities and then they tell them, well, this is how you get skinny, this is how you do this, this is how you do that. Instead of those productive things that have existed to help people with their journeys, there are also things that exist that are just there to help benefit someone in specifics, not the viewers, not their supporters. It's just there to basically take advantage. So I think those are one things you have to look out for on the internet is who is a productive influence to follow on who's not. And that's actually something I'm learning about. In Jim, they were trying to teach us the difference between a life influencer and a regular influencer. And it's like someone who flexes their lifestyle onto you and makes themselves feel unachievable unless you follow these inappropriate steps or these steps that aren't really going to get you there. Or a life influencer someone who tells you your life can be better, but you can make it good the way it is now, or these are little things you can do for yourself, or you're going through this. I'm going through this. This is how we can be better. Da. It's like, I just feel like or people that just healthily show you their lives that just like you know those people that vlog every day, or those you know, motivational people on the internet, people that just kind of give you a healthy insight into their life, and even if they don't show you everything. Because I think the whole saying social media is fake, da da da da da, I think social media being fake can be a good thing sometimes, Like I feel like, if you're a family YouTuber or whatever, families have struggles, But do you need to put that on your YouTube channel? No, because some people might watch that to feel better about themselves. Some people might watch it be like I didn't have a good relationship with my family, but it's nice to see these children grow and this family blossom together, even if they might have issues offscreen. I feel like sometimes having a curated image like that is okay. And I feel like people are so obsessed with authenticity it's kind of a bad thing, Like things like the shade rum, stuff like that we're constantly seeing these toxic couples and these problematic is that I don't think it's good for people, and I don't think it's good this access people have to people's lives so much now that they feel entitled to their lives and entitled to opinions about these people that they don't even know. That's why I feel like, sometimes curation is good. Sometimes it's better if you only see this person's picture when it's a paparazzi photo of them leaving somewhere, not a paparazzi photo of them being intimate with someone or something like that. I just feel like this like access or like just straight up entitlement. Maybe, and I hate to cut you off, but maybe there's a thing with us where we have to understand that the thing that makes y'all different is this is this experience with social media and the internet, and that that experience cannot be defined so rigidly as good or bad. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, what I'm hearing from you is that it's a layered and complex experience that we need to be aware of. That there is such a thing as a life influencer, as opposed to a regular influencer. I've never even heard that before. Men. That's the crazy part. Y'all learn that in school, and grown ups don't even they don't know how to regulate their social media like that, right, So how can they even begin to talk to you about it when they don't even know that? That's my mind was blown when you said that, like and also and also trying to audit myself mentally, like, yeah, which which one? Are you right? Because clearly not everything thing is bad? Right? Right? Everything? You know? I think that the people in my age bracket and above, you know, we're kind we're a little bit in shock, overwhelmed. We're a little bit overwhelmed. It's it's a lot both. Oh my god, Like the internet came when we were in high school, friends, like it happens, things started happening from there. It was like the beeper, the cell phone to pet and it was just like and then we still gotta keep up with y'all too, and oh my goodness, it's like it's it's so I just stuff here. I mean for staying in your lane, I mean I'm here for it, for being this this adult, this the adult that you are right now. I'm here for you doing that, but I'm also here for you to to expand your mind and be able to relate to the youth because you know, I believe the children are in future. They are you know, So it's not that deep. You have to open up. We're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back. Lana, you mentioned sexuality. Um, we've like when I grew up. I'll say that when I grew up that that homosexual men were in an area of the city where I grew up in Philly. They were in one area and if that's what you wanted to see or hang around, or that's what you wanted to experience, then that's where you went. Now people are finally able to be all of themselves everywhere they go and nobody has to live in a closet anymore. Do you do? You grasp? How what a what a gigantic big deal that is? It's so weird. It's so weird sometimes I think about it. Two Sometimes I asked my mom, like, you really didn't have like a phone with a screen on it, Like, how is it like now? You just used to Now you got this tap smartphone. I was like, you know, it, but you used to have them buttons. I'm like, girl, we had a rotary our generation keeping up all day. She's so right. I didn't even think about it like that. She's so right. Yeah, you get so used to it because it's like you get so accustomed to it and so fast. I feel like, maybe just me, I feel like it. You get so fastly, Like I like, there be four year olds that know how to work the iPad. I remember the end of the day my little cousin was here and it was like the other day. It was a long time ago. He was about three, and he has YouTube up and he tells me he wants to watch the Spider Man video. And I'm thinking he's three, let me look it up for him. He's like no, he typed Spider Man into YouTube bar and searches it out. I'm like, you, let me know. I've seen nine month olds been able to scroll through things, you know, and find like the like the parents had a series of films or movies or whatever in there in the little iPad and baby just just went and found what they wanted. You can't even read. You can touch Spider Man into you too. That's a lot of like I just wonder what I can't wait you'll become grown ups. I'm like, what does that look like when knowledge starts from that point? And also here's a question too, Lona, what's the chill looked like? Because I was thinking about that as you was giving us your reenactment of what happened in class that day and all of that knowledge and well rediness that you have, I was like, what is the chill? What is the like? Yeah? How how do you how do you kind of manage yeah, knowing these things like where where is the where's the kid? Yeah? The kid like likeness? We tackle that other question, okay, because because it's a it's a whole new world. Did you hear what jail I asked you? Yeah, about like, um, people having so many sexual identity Yeah, I feel like, uh, and this is just might be one thing that I noticed. But sometimes I feel like people make it seem like it's a lot, a lot more overwhelming than it is. For example, Uh, there's this thing on the internet called neo pronouns. We're not on the internet, but some people really it's just like where people's pronouns aren't she heard? They they're like, uh, something like some people would like to be called like different like objects as they're pronouns, and I don't never entirely understand it. But I've never met a person that used that. But there's such this, there's this big discourse on the internet or whether this is something people should do or this is stupid, this is this is a but still never even met anyone that uses those pronouns. It's almost like people want it to be, Oh, you don't know what anybody is these days, but it's like some of these people have never even met a non binary person. You just want to be overwhelmed by these things. You feel like it's all around you when it really isn't. Again, there are so much more openness in society today, but there are also some people in this world that still kind of live in a bit of a pocket. And I feel like, as a society, we need to stop pretending like it's like changing our way of life. I guess I feel like we should never really assume what someone goes by. Again. When I was a kid, you don't know, I had short, foresty hair, I would be misgendered a lot, and I was born a girl. So it's like, is that right though? But when someone tells you don't assume people's gender, you're automatically thinking, oh, this changes my way of life. I don't approve of this. I don't approve of that. But I was born a girl and you miss gendered me. So it's almost like, why don't we just use these neutral words for people? Why is that so hard? Because it could offend the same people. You say you're tired of the girls with day weaves, and they this, and they that I presented myself as naturally and you still disrespected me. And I was and I'm not a part of any community that you're so called don't approve of. So I don't get it. You know what I'm trying to say, You know, yes, yes, people try so hard to make this is this is someone's own fault. This is changing my lifestyle, when really your lifestyle just wasn't productive. It just wasn't It never worked, it wasn't cool, it never worked, and you know it never worked, and you know it never worked. You know it was never helping anybody. And I like that we live in the world that's open, but I feel like it could be a lot more opener, and I feel like it I feel like people want to be overwhelmed. Sometimes people want something to be mad at. We need something to be mad at as a society, because we need to direct our anger towards something that's not the big issues. So we can follow our pill and we can, you know, make it seem like everything's okay. We're like, yeah, the reason everything sucks, it's because the pink sauce lady. That's why mine. No, she might be bad, but she didn't make all these things. Unfortunately, Lady is not the root of all of our issues. Fifteen. Okay, is this it's a fair question. Do you feel a need or desire to be around us? You mean like adults. Yeah, let's just let's just say that that your mother's friends are pretty much like her. You know, they're they're interesting and knowledgeable. You know, they're they're cool in their own way, you know, living life and learning as they go, like the like most people with good sense. I think you know you're learning. You stumbled and you get back up and you're like, oh, you know what I mean? Um, because you have I have so much information. You have this this. I don't know if I could call it clarity. I don't know if that's exactly what I'm looking for, but the insight to expand and grow on a daily basis because you've got so many tools to do it. Do you feel like you you still enjoy us or need us in any way other than financially taking care of you? I ask, but actually, you know what I'm saying, do you help me without my cash app? I'm going to ask you to speak as much as you can for young people around your age, like, do y'all y'all f with us. I feel like some of us are at a point where it's like it's been a very big thing. It's like I won't respect my elders and let's I get respect back. And this is that. I think that's a very progressive place to be in. But I feel like we need family. Feel like people that cut all ties they end up kind of missing it. And I don't feel like I get disrespected in my family, just like as an example, I know there's some people that kind of move on that wavelength or even I like, if they have like political disagreements with their family, they're just like, no, I'm done, And I completely understand that. And to speak for my whole generation, I just would have to address that act of it because there are some people that genuinely, do you know, perceive their family members as like or even the older people in their life is just kind of like, I don't respect your opinion and you don't respect my opinion. So that's kind of the end of our relationship. Besides, you know, the cash aft, like my mom said, but I think there is like I feel like, as young people again, we still kind of are bits stuck in our ways a bit about what's immature, Like, oh, I can't say my mom's my best friend, but there are a lot of us that are just like I love my mom's my best friend. I love to have conversation. I love having conversations with older black ladies. My mom knows this. I know. When you guys ask that question, she was just like, that's my happy place. Big. I just I am completely I need that insight because again, you guys ask like, what kind of keeps me grounded in a bit? And I do like having friends that aren't really as interested in these topics, just because it kind of helps take my mind off of it because it's a lot and you can kind of find the real reason why this is that and this is that like you're gonna get caught up and all that stuff sometimes just living your life. But it's easy to just ta those people. You can just kind of turn off that side of your brain and you can just kind of enjoy that child like perspective. But then it's nice to have conversations like this with a bunch of educated, beautiful, intelligent women, and it's like it feels like you're more so heard and you can relate. You know, It's like I could talk about my favorite show with my friends, and then I could talk about, you know, Redlining with you guys, and I could talk about like I wanted to talk about your favorite what you mean red Line? And I ain't always go so deep. Well know, me and my mom actually do watch a lot of the same shows, by the way, And I've been trying to get her to watch The Sandman on Netflix recently and she won't watch it. And I know you're a grandma, now, I know you got business, but you when revere caa snuggle up and watch that show. Mom. First of all, I did watch Umbrella. You put me onto Umbrella Academy is season three so bad? No season three so no season three, but I mean one and two is good. They changed stuff up, and it's weird they switched it up. But but I'm just saying you put it so. I'm glad you brought up a show because my son and I got a chance to watch You Fouria together. And I don't know if you all watched You Fouria. Have you watched that at all? I know you watch it. Okay, it's safe space. It's a safe space. She can't do nothing. Let me just well, first answer, did you watch it? Na, I've I've seen some of it. It's the episode of too long for me to actually watch all of it, but I've seen some of it. Can't That's a thing like, Okay, I've noticed that your generation also wants things kind of quick. You don't really want to long form any just pace storytelling. I don't know if it's really my thing. I don't like all the moves, and I feel like it's kind of lazy. I don't know it's a controversial to say. I feel like it's a little It's just like everybody's allowed to have an opinion. I will say this to the listeners. Um, if you haven't watched Euphoria, there's a real reason why they're winning all these awards, and it's not just because Zendea is beautiful, Like she's exceptionally talented, and so is that cast and the stories that they're telling. When I watched it, I was like, Oh, I don't really have to answer a lot of questions because a lot of the answers are in euphoria. When we're talking about accountability, when we're talking about sex, drugs, when we're talking about sexuality, when we're talking when we're talking about living, a lot of the experiences are in euphoria, recovery. Uh, the list of relationship with parents, relationship. Yeah, I'm not saying this to be a hater, because again, I actually I have what I've seen in the second season. I actually really like it's a lot more slow paced. I just don't don't like. I kind of feel like, if you can't keep it in one place and keep the audience's attention, I think it's it might be overwhelming. And that's kind of how it is for me on like multiple storylines like that. I don't like multiple storylines and when it waves together kind of that's why I kind of like the end of the season. The first season a little bit, but again I'm not sure how all of it ends. The first season is a little fast paced for me, but I like what I've seen my second I might go back and watch it, but I think that again, not because again I don't want to be like the one person that doesn't like the show. I do, like, what do you think in terms of like media, Like I think, uh, from a parental standpoint, it's always hard to kind of I think, lock into media or that that that expresses or feels like it's speaking for young people. It feels like as soon as we lock into something, y'all have moved on. Or we'll lock into something and we'll think, oh, this is groundbreaking, and y'all are like, yeah, whatever, we don't even talk like that. And I remember being a young person and having that, you know, like our parents thinking that hip hop was like the Rice Crispi's commercial when Snap Cracker and Pop was rapping. They're like, yeah, that, I like that, that that jingle is nice. If that all the rap music sounded like that, I would love it. And we were like, no, that's that's that's not how that sounds. So, you know, is there any like media that you really think, like, Okay, this is on the post of kind of what young people are feeling and they're connecting with I would say, again, are there are a lot of themes in You for You that I think are really really good for parents to watch, even but I don't want them to think that all of the children are living that life. I feel like some parent might watch You for You and come back thinking my child's a drug addict or something like that, like, no, you used to be careful, don't don't make the wrong assumptions. But just like kind of just the life they're living in, kind of the emotions they're feeling, is very beautifully portrayed in that show, especially with Sindea, Like again, like she's very talented to re iterate what's already been said. But again, the show that I watched on Amazon Prime called We Are Who We Are, it's really nice to me. The emotion of the show, it's very it's not it's um it's not too explicit on the themes. It lets you kind of think of it for yourself, but the way the characters behave seems very normal to me, and um, their emotions just seem very normal to me, and again, it's kind of, uh, it's less this. Yeah, I liked the show. I liked the show. I thought it was very interesting. You get very invested into it, and it's much more slow pace, I would say, um, and I feel like if Euphoria is kind of too fast for you, then maybe you might like that show. But they tackle some different themes, and they also tackle something that isn't really that prevalent in Euphoria, which is there's a character with mental illness that's not like Ruse. It's more so like I think he might struggle with I don't want to make a guess, but it's different than what she goes through. But it's kind of behaviors and stuff. It's an interesting watch, I would say, And now all the episodes are I don't think they're having a season too. But it also deals with a black female main character that trying to transition into a trans man, which is kind of similar to some of the themes that are in Euphoria, but with yeah the opposite. Yeah, I love a good TV wreck. More conversation after the break, you were talking about being in the car with your dad and you wanted him listen to some of the music I was just curious what you were playing for your dad. Oh, this is not music I particularly listen to. But my dad's very interested in djaying and stuff, and I be trying to put him onto stuff that commun kids my age or listening to, or at least something that like if he put it on, they'd be like, whoa, what do you know about this? I put on some Destroyed Lonely for him. I put up some yea. I put on some Frank Ocean and that was about it. He knows about Frank Ocean some other stuff. And speaking of Steve Lacey again, I love See Lacey. He's so cool, even just a person's very cool. Um, So, Steve Lacey, if you're watching, you might not be, but I'm cool with you. I'm mess with you. But I should have played some Steve Lacy for dad, because he did have that one song inside that I feel like people forgot was him because they kind of just rose up this year. But he's kind of been possible yeah years, yeah, years, So yeah, I can front. I've been in as dams for a long time. Like you got going, young man, you was giving you was giving them for Auntie vibes. Listen That's my point. That was what I was trying to get atline, because I catch myself around um young people, and I'm very much an auntie. Like I'm not. I'm not like you know, your friend. I'm really like your auntie. You need some advice, honey, you need you need um direction for something. I may not know, but I might know somebody who knows somebody and maybe they can help you get where you want to go. You know. I'm kind of the mentor kind of auntie, you know, the celebration kind of auntie. You know, I don't want to be judgmental about things. I want you to be joyful. You know. That's like I want you to be joyful and everything that you do, and if it doesn't suit you, I want you to stop doing that. You know. That's kind of where I am. And that's that's what I don't know, Like, I don't know if that's annoying. Is that annoying? Like, if it is, that's that entirely is why I feel like, again, kids my age love their aunties. They need their aunties, even if they all admitted and again, those people that are kind of done with dealing with the generational traumas and stuff like that, and letting go of their older relatives and stuff. Is a very small fraction of people. Same thing with the very small fraction of people that you'll encounter that really their identities are super confusing, quote unquote. People tend to be like, oh, there's so many people are the kids are leaving us. The kids don't care about this. They're ungrateful dad. They're confusing me. Now, really it's only a little bit of them and the ones that are getting completely cut off or not like y'all, the ones that are going to completely cut off are the ones that kind of deserve but you know, problematic, little problem problematic. And then and even then, you know, sometimes all it takes a little switches behavior. Maybe y'all be back, Maybe you'll be back. Maybe sometimes we got work to do a lot of times something some of us don't know. It's the ones that don't know and don't want to do nothing bad. And again, I kind of have an air of tolerance for ignorance a little bit, you know, I I have a little bit of tolerance for that out attempt to educate it, not at all, let it sit. But if I was having a problem with something. I'll make it known, you know, and it doesn't necessarily mean you have to cut ties. But it's just like something I have issue with, something you have issue with. We could talk about it, or we could not talk. Can we start go back to that question I asked you earlier about, you know, relaxing being a kid and how you tend to do that being a child. I know kid is not appropriate. I'm sorry, No, no, I actually don't have a problem with that. Actually I touched on it a little bit. But it's just like being around people that don't really not don't care about these issues but don't really know a whole bunch about it. It like almost like prohibits me from me even talking about it because it won't really make a lot of sense. It's just like hearing them talk about the stuff they're interested in kind of just makes you get you put you on a supportive standpoint. It's like, Oh, you want to play a video game, We'll play a video game. Oh you guys are gonna watch a movie tonight, We'll watch a movie tonight, or are you gonna go do whatever. It's like it kind of takes your mind off of those big subjects. That kind are always boom boom booming, and again you could just like turn it off for a second and you can focus on, well they're interested in and you're also interested in as well. Just sometimes I tend to think, oh, this is low key racist, Oh this is I just want to turn it off every once in again line, I'm like you I can, Okay. I think what's interesting is that what I do love about my kids is that they're gonna call a spade a spake. Yeah, they're not gonna fall into the part where it's on their neck, but they're they're gonna say, yeah, that's They're gonna call that for what it is, you know what I mean. And I think they can enjoy life in ways that that they can still enjoy the joy aspect of a thing but still be realistic about what they're looking at. And I feel like I always think about it reminds me of The Whiz. I grew up with the Whiz, and the Wiz is such a significant part of my growing up and I love this piece of work. It's one of the most important pieces of art of my childhood, the Whiz. But as I got older and I became a little bit more aware of certain things. There's things in the Wiz I can't unsee now, but I still love it. But like I could call it for the big black dirt and horrible witch that forces everyone to work in a sweatshop. Stop a lot of I can't. Oh, the monkeys bothered me, the flying monkeys, the monkeys. The good witch is light skin. Yeah, but but did you see their lips? Stop it, Stop it. It's a lot. It's not even the scarecrows. The scarecrows one the music. He just wrote the music. He just wrote the music. He just wrote. Yeah. I mean, there's what I'm saying is that it's an important and beautifu full piece of work. And like I said, one of the best lessons I learned that life came from the winds where it was just like everything that you need is in you. If you keep trying to look externally for the things that you'll never be able to be who you are and be in the fullness of yourself. And as long as you are aware of the fullness of yourself, your home anywhere you are, so that that will never be taken away, you know, in that sense of the word. But you know, I don't typically ask this question, but I know we're running out of time and I really want Jail to ask my baby, you know, the Jadi Ill question. My pleasure, Lana Danzler, that's my what's on your heart? What is on my heart currently? Wow, it's a big one. You know, last time you ask me this question, I hadn't started high school yet. And last time you ask me this question, I did not have a niece. So a lot has changed. So I would say, as it for right now, what it's on my heart, it's just appreciation, just very grateful this time, in this moment. You know, recently I've been feeling a tad dressed out, but I feel like ever since the nineteenth, I've just been very very grateful. I feel like my whole energy in my life has gotten so much better. So I would say all my heart is just love. I just feel love right now, just feel so. I just I'm feeling so much better, so much happier, and I feel like everyone around me is too, which is so great. It feels so great. So yeah, that's about the extent of what is all my heart to this moment. See, baby is living in gratitude. Snout of babies, a young woman, and you know my older self. You know, I have to say this that I've been waiting all my life to be this age. I have been waiting all my life to have this level of experience. And you know, I have some wisdom that I love to share and I'm really really grateful for this, and I'm really grateful for you. Thank you so much for talking to us and sharing with us and thinking out loud and letting us know that we do have some value in your lives, because we need to know that too, We really do. You know, you all are so beautiful. It's so beautiful and so creative, and the way that you think is we really marvel at it quite frankly, and just want to give you your flowers where you're sitting right now and give you a big round of applause. Thank you, Thank you for being here with us. Thank you all the listeners for listening to Jadel the podcast. We are sparking conversation to sparks Am love you so much. Take care of y'all. Piece how do you eat an elephant? One by it? Hey, listeners, it's Amber the producer here. After that conversation, I am quietly humming my Children of the Future. I mean, wow, Lana is a treasure, but really are we surprised She's the daughter of one of our wisest Internet aunties, Agia. Lana mentioned a show that we should all check out called Who We Are on Amazon Prime, So let's do our homework and give it a watch. I'll drop the link in our show notes. Hi. If you have comments on something we said in this episode, call eight six six. Hey Jill, if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six four three nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Yea, Lonnie, you might as well just go ahead and start that show. I don't when your show start. When your show starts, like you do it, yo, you should just do it. You have a Mike listen. Me and her have done like multiple episodes, but she don't need me. I'm the Week. Lady Jay dot Ill is a production of iHeartRadio. 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