Run it Back: The New "F" Word

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot Ill a production of iHeartRadio. Hi Friends. It's Amber the producer here. I have a quick announcement. We are having our midseason break. The Legend, the Lady, the song Dress, the Friend, the mentor, and the mother. Jill Scott is on tour. If you haven't grabbed your tickets yet, what are you waiting for? Do that? Immediately? I saw her show in Philly and wow. I mean, like, we know she's incredible, but the live experience something else. While we take a break from releasing new episodes, we're going to run back some of our favorites from this season, starting with mine. So a little bit about me. Some years ago, I had a pretty traumatic experience with an ob gyn, which I know I'm not alone in because black woman. And that experience led me to wanting a deeper understanding and connection to my body and my wom in particular. So I went on to steady herbalism and specifically spiritual herbalism with master herbalist Karen Rose. Look her up, y'all, Karen Rose. Those courses changed my life and my health. The mind body genetic connection is so real, so it is no surprise that my favorite episode this season is the new f word. Enjoy what's up everybody. It is a pleasure to be with you again. Welcome to Jay dot Il the Podcast. This is Jill Scott and I'm here with my sister friends. Lie is Saint Cloud. Hello everybody, and the infamous song on your commercial commercials age a great and Dan's la Hello there, Hello all, sound like a life in bed? Yes, she is slish. Somebody getting licensed? That's what commercial? Is it? Ada or I don't even know? That's funny what song is in the world of publishing. In the world of publishing, you know, record companies own the copyright, so the permission really wasn't mine to get. But because I own the publishing, gotta pay me. There you go, so they can use it all they want to. But guess what you give me my quins, your queens. Yeah, but don't say I told you to take that medicine. I don't know what that medicine is. Y'all better read, laugh, y'all, listen, y'all better do all y'all's due diligence. Don't say Kendren told you to do it. Here, it's just a nice song. It's a nice song, you know. That goes for all medication, you know, anything that you take out you here the commercials they're always talking about, oh when this will help you with whatever your your footage it, but it also will make your eye levels fall out and you push because anything that makes your cause to know. For me, it's the may cause it's priorities. I don't want either, you know what I'm saying, Thank you so much. I don't want either. I don't want to die or I don't want my COUCHI this thing, and I don't want to die with stinky coop word up worked because you know, whoever is in the mortgage is gonna talk about you. Um, I'm gonna stop, y'all gotta can we not just can y'all not make me laugh? Y'all know it's a situation. Situation my family and friends is that ideas La Saint Clair has had some fibroids removed from her body. So now for yeah, if you will, what um Just for anybody who who doesn't know, UM, what fibroids are, It's like it's like a tumor. Some of them are big, some of them are small. UM. But they are tumors that are typically in the uterus. Right, but nine tumors in the uterus that are getting in the way of of what you're feeling. I've done. Somebody get my pocketbook now, where where my fucking keys? Yes, is not making this easy, I swear to go mak me laugh to not laugh. Don't laugh because this is recent. This is very recent for her. Yes, and and um, the how how would you you know? You know, because the uterine fibroids, it causes like majorum excessive bleeding for your monthly um, a pelvic pain um which can be excruciating out here, and that um frequent urination, not being able to hold on to uh to your water. Yeah, you know, women are walking around every day with fibroids and not knowing what's going on. And don't forget infertility and anemia. Sure wow, because if you're losing that much blood, your iron is kind of like fucked right, Yeah, and that makes you makes it kind of and it doesn't make it kind of difficult, but it makes it hard to um do all the things that we have to do. Yeah, you know, because you're exhausted, you're you're losing a lot of blood. You don't have iron to period apps. Yeah, I got two period apps. Oh period, we got a two period apps. We have to start before the surgery though, like we really have to go. How did you know that you had five broids or what ticked you off? Because just gave some of the symptoms, but explain. I think it was like a typical trip to my ob g y N. And you know, it got to the point where you can feel five broids, usually from a girl's stomach, like you can touch them. I don't like to because I don't like to know that. I didn't like to know they were there. But my doctor one day just touched and was like, huh, there's something there. And so I think I got an ultra sound. And that was over a decade ago, and they weren't they were outside of my uterus. So at the time the doctor was like, this is not gonna, you know, prevent you from having children, so you don't have to act on it immediately, you know, And so I didn't. And ten years later they got bigger and bigger and I knew I had. They were like, you know, it looks like you have like three but they started saying, you love, you have three oranges in your belly and you're probably I love the line. I think a lot of women five raids have heard the line, you look at least four months pregnant. So yeah, As that progressed and I started getting older and they started getting bigger, I finally said I need to do something about this, even if and if they were blocking my breath, my blessings, because y'all know I'm in between on this baby thing. But you know, I got a good year. Don't tell anybody before I just you know before it's like yeah, So yeah, I decided, And of course there's with five roids, some women had the option of doing a laparoscopically, and the reason I couldn't because mines were way too big. So I had to get up my inmectomy, which is what I hear similar to a C section cut, and he had to go in and I was told I had ten and I sent y'all a picture of twenty eight twenty eight and the largest one. One of my girlfriends likes to compare the largest one to a roaster. She's like that it's like a roaster, yea, because I would say that that's a great foul ter, like a chicken roaster. Right as you cook a chicken roaster. It was Yeah, I would say that the picture did look like that, but it was shocking. You know, you hear the word five boys, and I hate to say it. It's become so normalized. The majority of my girlfriends have a story. I don't know about y'all, but the majority of my girlfriends have a story. Yeah. I wouldn't say them. Yeah, I wouldn't see the majority, but definitely within my friend group more than one. Yeah. Yeah, so there's a situation here. Um, but I think in my mind I kept thinking, Okay, yeah, I know this happens. I know it's a mask, I know it's this. There was something about actually seeing the photo that I was just like wow. I got to sit with that for a minute, and I was just like mmmmm, Well, first off, I'm looking at you, and I just I haven't seen you, but i'm looking at you in video. Now y'all don't know this, but I'm looking at her to the video and I just want to embrace you and hug you because all the greatness that you've been and not unknowing you were carrying all that. It's like I'm looking at you and I'm I'm angry because I'm like, why do we have to walk through the world with this and there's not anything being done. And that's the thing, and that's the thing that starts to make me angry because although I know you said you have one girlfriend, but I swear the guy y'all every time this week, in the last couple of weeks, every time I talk to a black woman, it goes, yeah, I'm getting over this. Mynamecting me. Oh yeah, girl, I had a mint a couple of years ago. I swear that's the conversation. And it's all sisters. And I know we're not one hundred percent. I think the numbers are seventy, but it's enough that really makes you wonder. It's enough that Kamala Harris allegedly has a task force to find out what's going on with it, and which makes me wonder about her as a black woman who hasn't had any children yet. It's just so many of these stories going around that is so common that we don't talk about. And then our mothers it was something different for them. It wasn't a name, it wasn't a name for it then. So it's kind of scary back to what you were saying, Asia in the sense of this epidemic that's happening with black women and the no sense of urgency, and black men are learning, but they're surprised, like they just people just don't know, don't And we just walked through it, like you know how we are as sisters. We just we talked to each other. You talk amongst themselves and we're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back. I was talking to my girls and I was like, yo, what and y'all too. I was like, you know, you're aposed to do four to six weeks recovery. What does that look like? What I'm supposed to be doing, Like after a week, I'm supposed to like lay down, like I don't know how to rest? Like what I was looking at you. I was about to ask y'all as women who are like gave birth, like they told y'all to rest afterwards or recuperate, and what I don't see y'all doing that. Well, I'm not even gonna lie to you. After childbirth, I was told to rest. I had home birth, so I had midwives who made me stay in bed. But typically that's not the practice. The practices you get two days in that hospital, some in some cities, one day and they want you out of there, get up, walk around, pick up the baby, handle it. Yep. So, but you still supposed to rest when you go home. No, girl, and all ain't set up like that. It's not set up like that. I called some villagers in, but I guess I guess that wasn't really on the agenda when I called, you know, so, I at a certain point, I was so hungry that I got up, went down a flight of steps and made breakfast for everybody, because I'm like, I'm supposed to eat. I know that I can't produce milk without eating, but I think everybody else was probably on some kind of vacation or something. That part. Yeah, yeah, the typical experience is the opposite. And when you're talking about rest after a major surgery, that kind of inconsistency. It doesn't change just because you have major surgery because you have a baby, because that same lack of kind of support and systems and resources and things of that nature for black women, for women in general, but particularly for black women, it rears its ugly head at these moments when we're down. I'm always saying this, and you know, we could talk about this another time, but it's like, who comes for the black woman when she down band? You know what I'm saying, Who comes for her for real? When she down bad? I know my mom could have come, but she was taking care of my grandmother and she was in her last days, so you know, we had to pick and shoot. But even in that sense, you know, my mom is here taking care of me. I'm so blessed and grateful that she could come from DC to California. But shot, my mom don't know how to rest, so she knows how to take care of me. Yeah, she's doing a fantastic job. But it's it's it's interesting. And you know I was telling Amber, you know why the doctors tell you. You know, my doctor said, I'm doing really good. I'm I was so happy when he called and checked on me, because you know, you gotta poop to get at the hospital. You gotta you gotta pass that gas. I passed that gas. You know, you gotta have your number two. And it's interesting. I will say this. While I was in a hospital. You know, my mom is a great advocate, and so I watched her a lot, so I try to be a good advocate for myself. And on my first night, after my first night, I hadn't pouty yet and they were still trying to let me out there. They were trying to They were like, if you want to go home, you can go home. They had already gave me one bag of blood. By the next day, I needed two bags of blood. So if I would have gone home, I would have never got those two bags of blood that I needed, and I would have been home. And it made me. It made me think of some country star's wife just died last week because she went home too soon after cosmetic surgery. But it just all all the things that you're not prepared for in that way, and then coming home and all. Like I said, although I was doing well shit for a day, I was busting out in tears. I didn't notice this thing. I didn't know it affected me like this. Like so I was happy to talk to Amber our produced her because she kind of put it in a different way. I hadn't thought about this holistically, you know what I mean, in the sense of what Amber would you say, having a removing a whole basket of fruit out of my uterus, a whole basket of fruit from your uterus. Yeah and yeah, and just to comment, you guys say, you know so many other black women who've had fibroids. The statistic is eighty percent of Black women have fibroids some some form, whether they know it or not, whether they know it or not, yeah, whether they're smaller ones or bigger ones. So why should anybody care? Why do they know it or not? And that's the part that makes me mad, because I'm like, why it does give near like a that's an epidemic. That is an epidemic. It is an epidemic. And when you think about, like, the way that I learned about fibroids and herbalism is that there are bodies way of like trapping energy. Their trauma is trapped and they may not all be from you or from your experience. They can be from your line generationally, right, But Yeah, there's so much energy that's trapped in our wombs that we've carried generation to generation, especially as Black women. When you think about what our great great grandmothers went through, what women when they're doing slavery, um, you know, and we've just had this huge disconnect from our wombs and Like when Leah, when you said you didn't even your doctor told me, you told you could touch it, you could feel it, and you didn't want touch it. That says so much to me, Like you wouldn't even touch it, like, no, not touching that. No, this is my and this is my first surgery. Yeah yeah, and those are but these are things that you're holding in your wombs and you're literally disconnecting yourself from it, like you didn't want to touch it for ten years. Yeah, and now I took Today was the day I took the surgical tape off, and that was like a whole moment in itself. And scared to get the C section shelf when you ain't even had the baby yet. Oh God, there's things we can do for that. We can talk about that because I have had a C section as well. But um, but even just back to that clearing up your womb and then the emotions that you're talking about feeling. Think about that you had twenty eight fibroids removed from you. That's an immense clearing and immense clearing physically and spiritually, Like imagine how your body feels. Just got to let that go. I'm excited to get to that point because right now I'm in the middle where you're just swollen. So I'm excited to get to feel the light light partness. Yeah, whenever they're happy. So can we talk quickly about that four to six weeks of recovery and like and how you're saying, like I don't I don't know how to recover. I think that's also a systemic issue with black women that we've carried because we weren't allowed to recover, right and like how you said, like this just happened, You're still swollen. Your womb is still swollen. So there's four to six weeks of nourishment you need to give yourself and that it may not necessarily mean sitting down all day or arresting all day, which you should do a lot more of that. But that's like, what are you nourishing your body with? How are you helping your womb recover? Are you replenishing that with good foods? Are you taking herbs that are helping and you're healing. Are you listening to your womb because you had been talking years and you wouldn't touch her, so now that she's clear, how are you communicating with her. How are you connecting with her every day in these fords recovery? And that's and that's tough work. I'm not I'm not saying that in a lightweight either, because I know that that is tough, deep work because I did it after a c section, a really traumatic one where I almost died, and like having to sit with my womb and having to sit with that trauma afterwards, is that's deep work. But that's part of your freedom as well. That's how we really get free. That's how we don't get no more fibroids. That's how we really let our wombs shine and connect to that. Our womb is our seat of power as a woman. Well, I guess some marangua girl. I'm about the one around. I'll tell you about to run and show throughout this right now, everything you get on the very leaf on that nettles you talk about all the blood that you lost. Just figure out the things you need to do to renourish your body for what it went through, what it's carried you through. And like, yes, Asia, like we should all be running around screaming when our sister gets our freedom, Like that's how we should feel, That's how we should feel because you're making space. Yes, I'm gonna circle back to something that you said about the disconnect and not wanting to touch it and this kind of disconnect from our bodies as Black women, this kind of disconnect from the body. I just want to sit with that for a second, because I think there's something that tells us that our bodies are this thing that's outside of us. When this was a thing that we used to be like everything dictated. It's like you're going to dictate the weather or knowing that body, you're going to decide a number of things based on what that body is doing and telling you whether you're going to walk in that room, whether you're going to take that bus, whether you're going to do whatever. It's like your body is this thing that you're supposed to be so in tune with, But I know we've learned to kind of put our bodies to step outside of our bodies and not really be connected to it. Even from a sexual standpoint. The amount of women that don't even know anything about their vagina or their uterus or the different parts of their body. We've talked on the show about pleasure and about our disconnect from how our body, how to pleasure ourselves or have our partners pleasure us, you know, all of the different things. There's so many levels to this disconnect, this way that we are allowing things to grow there and not pulling the weeds and not paying and tending to ourselves. And it's like it goes, it goes so much further. And now we're dealing with this epidemic that's going on with black women and we can no longer ignore it. But part of me feels this that there's something about this generation of women that is doing some work that is different from prior generations. And so perhaps they are pushing these things out and pushing them into a corner and they're becoming these masses to a sense, were like, you know, you know how something gets really bad because you're about to expel that joker, you know what I'm saying, Like it's condensing itself so that it can be expelled, you know, whereas that trauma used to be spread throughout that I feel like we as a generation are doing some different work because we're speaking in ways our moms didn't or had the room too. It's so crazy to me. I mean, I guess it's not crazy. It is a patriarchal society that they spend so much time on erectile dysfunction and so much money on erectile dysfunction. I was in Miami not too long ago, and we took the tour where you ride around on the boat and you get to see all the rich people's houses and stuff. And the guy who created viagra. When I tell you the house was it was so massive. They told us that the guy and his wife live in this house alone. And you know, I've seen houses with wings before, but it had it had more wings than the bird need to fly. It was. It was a lot. I mean, as he deserved. Even if people failed the need. That wasn't I understand. But we're talking about the continuance of humanity part still this this major emi portion of a woman's body fertility, Yes, and that is and the crazy thing about viagra, And don't get me the line, but I want to say I did read this or see a video about it, that viagra itself was found by accident. When they were trying to find they were trying they were testing out like some sort of cancer like ja. They founded by accident, and instead of continuing the cancer research Hello to save people's lives. They shifted and started making the erection saving medicine like it's in someone and accidentally finding cure for fibroids. You know, come on, I'm just saying, you know, in a world where we're you know, we're we're ridding ourselves a row versus way because you know, we should be having more babies. It's it's just, you know, it's fascinating that we have this epidemic where it's killing Black women's fertility. It's like, whose babies are we trying? Worried about whose fertility are we really work? I think it's really interesting that Layah, your mother and my mother had the same story that in youth. Yeah, they told her mother that she'd never have children and that she should get a hyster direct to me. That's right, I remember. And they told your mother to have a hysterirect to me before you were born, just like before I was born. Oh yeah, I feel like I feel this is damn near wart and you really think about what's going on right now. As again, man bro versus weight and can get you fucking I'm just saying it could, it could fuck you up. A hypocrisy of it is insane. Yeah. I did an interview one time for Parents magazine about and someone called me and said they wanted to talk about black women in infertility. And I said, I don't know if y'all want to call me, I'm probably not the right person to talk to you talk to about this. And what was interesting was she said, no, I do want to talk to you about it. And we talked about my culture in the way that we're all socialized to believe what black women can and cannot do with their bodies. And you said that this is killing black women's fertility, and yet there is still an assumption throughout our society as that puts black women as the as the forever fertile, She's the woman that's having all the babies. And it's like and that is and it leaves a conversation and away from a section of our mean, a large portion of black women that are not being addressed because they're being completely erased. They're not even part of the conversation. It's like they're they're acting like like this is not a thing that is happening so close to the norm, that this is some sort of fringe experience, and it's like It is amazing to me that is still the culture of this country, and even within the black community, we're just not talking about it. And then when celebrities talk about it, there's also this thing, oh, well, that person is just they're successful, and so that's this thing that happens to black women who are this or that, but not the average black women. You talk about eighty percent, eighty percent, eighty eighty percent. We'll be back after the break. If you've noticed that your wife or your girlfriend, or your sister, or your aunt, or your mother or your friend is having a really heavy menstrual flow, excessively heavy, if you're if you're and painful, if you're noticing these things, if you're noticing that this is a youthful person but they're having a hard time holding the water, you know you have to please suggest them to see a guy in ecologist somewhere. The challenging portion is that initially when I moved to Tennessee, I'm just gonna speak on my own experience. I'm searching around trying to find a guy in ecologist, because that's what adult women do, you know, we make sure to maintain our coucci. And I could not find um, and I could not get an appointment or a first time. You want the first time? I appointment? Honey, six months, I couldn't get an appoint to me the first time. Yeah, you gotta get in the system first, you gotta get in. Yeah that's six six months from now, six months months yeah, months, Like that's insane. It's interesting. I was thinking when agians talking about the celebrity aspect, because you know, usually you can match an issue with a celebrity. This is not one of those issues. I was thinking, the only time I've heard is being spoken about on television, and I know y'all are like, yeah, here you go. You're talking about Cynthia Bailey. Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes, because she had five words in the way that the way that I remember Peter said some shit that really fucked me up because he just made a comment about how it was hard to have sex with her sometimes, and I was like, the fuck And she went into her five or situation and so wow, because sex is an issue sometimes with five rights here and it was noticeable because she was a model and right right, so it's like clearly something is wrong. But you know, I like, yeah, I never looked at you once and thought, oh, you look four months pregnant. You never looked four months pregnant to me ever, But I was like, all right, I can look like this. What I was saying is that this is more this is more recent. But the brat was talking about this here recently, right, she's newly married. She was talking about having a baby. And there was Judy five boys, yes, that five boys being an issue for her and I and it was circulating quite a bit on the internet, I mean on social media. But they were talking about that, and I said, wow, that's probably one of the few times that I've seen the celebrity also talk about fibroids. And it's you know, fitting at this time period, because honestly, there is a little bit more conversation going on about it than I remember having in the past, but still not even close to enough. And then also to like the study like studying black women. I remember, as someone sent me an article years ago about how black women are just not studied, like we just there's not enough research about our bodies. So most times even treatments and medicines and things like that are not really catered towards any kind of study. That happened that any extensive study that's happened around our bodies and our lived experience. Just recently, they started to paint the examples brown, all the examples of the uterus and the baby in utero, and and all the they were never. They were never brown people, never brown babies, never brown bodies. Never. And I would it's interesting. I would like Amber to talk about this because one of my random girlfriends hit me up the other day. Again. We were like, what you're doing recovering? She was like, oh, I had it too, And then she sends me an article about well my girlfriend had she had another girlfriend who had like I don't know, fifty but she got rid of them naturally. Now I said to her, I'm not going to read this article right now because I just had a Maya mactimate. And I don't mean I don't kind of regrets. Don't worry, it will spell it for you in your phone. But I do know this sugar and diet and things of that nature. But my thing is it sounds like, if you really want to get rid of five words naturally, you just don't. You don't eat nothing that you want to eat, and you live a life of strict discipline. But yeah, Amber, can you speak on this whole natural way of getting rid of these fire So I want you got all the ut my approaches an RBS. I believe there's a like a symbiotic relationship between Eastern and Western medicine. I don't believe you have to be all natural or you have to be all this. I think that they can really work together, and I wish more people had that attitude towards it, like they can work together. You can have amiam to me, because maybe that's what you needed, you know, Like I feel like if someone has the level of fibroids that you have, trying to clear that naturally would take a decade, you know what I'm saying. So I believe, like you know, like I don't think that you made the wrong choice at all or you should have any regrets about your journey. It's all about how you move from here, because now that you've had this clearing, how are you now going to nourish your body? There's no way to be perfect or live talks and free anyways, So like that's not the answer. Have the things that you want and moderation, you know, take your herbs, take care of your body, being connected with your body. I personally think that's the biggest piece, Like are you connected and are you listening when something is off so that you can adjust? You know, are you are you in touch with your body? Are you taking that four to six weeks to listen to her and learn her talk to her? So I'm not bad. I'm not bad for getting cut and not just cutting sugar, because I mean, I do feel like if that is a to do it, at some point, maybe I should listen. I'm gonna tell you. I'm gonna tell you what I used to tell people about, well about childbirths, but oh I want to have natural childbirths or should I have? I feel bad because I got drugs or this, that and the other, and I'm like, listen, when that baby comes. Nobody's gonna give you a metal honey. You're not gonna get a star, You're not gonna get an award, you're not gonna get a certificate for none of that. That's why you have to make a decision that works for you. If you had done it naturally, guess what guests who would have showed up at your doorstep with with a trophy? Nobody? Okay, you have to wake up in the morning and be okay with your decision and how you listen to your body and your experience. And I'm tired as we get shamed for enough shit. Come on, can we just start marking something thing off of this list of things that we have to fucking be in order for everyone to feel comfortable? Girl, please, I had to get over the guilt of having a white male doctor for a second. I was like, oh Lord, jesus cha, but he was so good. He was great, a great surgeon. And yeah, so yeah, you're right, Asia, We're working. I'm speaking for all its folks listening. We're working through it. You write no medals of being given here. I'm glad you brought it up, though, because again, these are the things that go on in our minds and we don't discuss them, we don't say them publicly, and we just sit with that. And it's more sitting, and it's more thinking, and it's more mulling, and it's more things that are backing themselves up in our emotions and our thoughts and our bodies, and it's just we can't do this anymore to ourselves. I saw something was it a might have been yesterday where a young woman was talking about I think it was like American horror story happening. I've watching too. I love those two jail Yeah, I'm glad to see it. Um. And the young woman on the show said that fear wasn't our biggest enemy. It's shame. Oh yeah, I like it. That thing hit different, thann't it? It hit different? So like have the shame of having or choosing to as a somebody that you know, maybe holistic, having surgery. Listen, you know, that's that's about going into in itself and listening to yourself for real. It's it's about making a decision for real and in the quietest place for was what benefits you the most? And um that's it, honey, That's that's really the gist of it. You know. I like, I'd like whatever said about having a doctor that is both um or choosing you know, doctor that is both holistic and you know, certified board h MD. I only know of one. I'm sure there's others. Um. I definitely invite all doctors that are INDs to get into some holistic medicine as well and make that a part of your practice. You have to do it. You know quietly, but nonetheless. You know we're talking about doctor Frederick Burton, yes on City Line Avenue, Philadelphia. Yeah, I think I've heard of him. Okay, all right, all right. It's it's a lot of blood tests, I'll say. And the tests are not for when when someone takes your blood, typically they're testing for what they're looking for. Only with a holistic doctor, they're testing for everything everything, any any insufficiency, any abnormality. Um, they're looking for that, you know, any customers shouldn't. You can get to your doctor too about that too. I forget, but there's a way to get your labs and really have him go through everything. I can't remember the terminology, you know. But yet you're right, Jill, Yeah, I'm more than more than anything. Um, it's the kind of general uptick and self awareness and that kind of general uptick and just saying I want more out of my interactions with my caregivers and stretching your village, you know, expanding your village and things like that. I know, I know that. It's just like, Okay, it's just more goddamn black girl homework. I'm here for trying to get that money for them. Man, I'm going to get that money for the rent. But it feels good too. I wouldn't want to be nothing else. No, no, And I gotta said, but I could tell that it can get a little heavy having the list of things that you have to do to counteract the systems that are working against you. So it's like, oh, well, I gotta do this, we gotta do that. I gotta go to go therapy, I gotta work out, I gotta take merbs, I gotta have this, I gotta have that. But about in its twenty four hours and a goddamn day, you still got to earn a coin. Yeah, so I get I get it that it's a lot, but it's it's it's a necessary thing to get closer to a place of peace. Yeah, it's it's the labor of finding peace. Right. It's still lighter than what your mama and your grandmama went through. And even though it feels heavier, sometimes it only feels heavier because you have more resources and words. M hmmm. Yeah, those resources and words are heavy, but you have them and they didn't. So knowledge is power, and a burden curls speaking. I'll run, y'all want me to run, y'all? Say something. Did I say y'all around? I love you? How about the whole of your holding to this table. We're just trying to help, just trying to help. Who more real talk after the break. We need to be healthy. We have we have this amazing gift of life. There's so much to do with it. There's so much to see, there's so much to taste, there's so many people to encounter, people to love, people to learn from experiences, like, there's so much to do. So, you know, we want you and it takes a lot to manage all its dopeness. Yes, you know what I'm saying. We want you to to pay attention to your body, really really pay attention to it. I'm I'm guilty. So just don't please don't listen to this like, oh, you know she's doing everything she can. I feeling fuck up. Okay, I'm trying to get some probiotics right into the smoothie or something. Put the key for the key, forer key for her whatever the stuff it tastes like vinegar. I can't do that with the bottom with the balls at the but she talking about apples, apple cider, vinegar, chia. I can't do that. Listen. You can do all of it if you if you got if your smoothie game is right, son, and you know how to layer that john up. If you put the chia in there, when you put the first layer of juice, that ship will disappear and you never know it's in there. Come on, man, I've come on. I okay, I said it. I don't bit No, I don't like smoothes. No, I don't. I don't like salmon. I'm not eating. I can't. I can't put nothing nothing. I can't do it. But I bet but I bet a bitch eat a salmon cake. But I bet a bitch eat a salmon cake. I eat my my mother's. That's the only salmon cake I'll eat. I'll eat my mother's. But I said, how you get your old megas? If you have the oils you want, you you drink the oil. Trees have no choice. Okay, are you making me sweat? I need you to drink the oils, and I need you to. I mean, I like smoothies, but they're not a part of my daily life. I don't. I mean I don't like y'all. Y'all got a vita mix like a vitam, they'd be pushing those at the costco hard. I'd rather juice, and that's that's a lot of work too. But a lot of work, don't y'all know? Can't it? Just? Can't we just okay? So part of our reparations, can I just get a white lady to come over here and make the stuff for me? Please? John? But juice? You got a smoothie place or something? I don't know what I mean my own personal white ladies who say white ladies make the best smoothies. Oh my god, y'all, I didn't say they make the best movie. See that you said something I ain't say. I just want to use a label I don't want. I'm not using, okays, See, but you're trying to reverse this. I don't feel like making the smoothie and cleaning the juice, so I am. I am about to ask no black woman. Cannot y'all just stop the world with this announcement? I cannot believe that Agia and Jail y'all both don't work with the smoothes. Y'all are like that. I didn't say it for the movie out part of my daily life is what I had said. Oh we gotta do something. We gotta do something. How are you gonna get there? Because you know you ain't gonna just take the sea mass in your mouth. You know you gotta put it. Sometimes you gotta push it in the smoothie that you don't want to take. That's what different, No, that's what we different. I will take a spoonful of sea mass. Quit easy like that, soak mine and blended, and I'll take a See I like to be done with my stuff. I just like hold my nose and take it. And and now yes that doesn't bother me. And also too, like I said, they also make the flavor sea moss. Now yea from a good company. Ye want to be all sugary y r right, But now they have those, you put them in the freezer, then you take them out, just scoop put a little spooning and scoop it out. You're right, You're right, gulitely want to celebrate what a good company for sea moss is my I do the sea moss gel and I love it because every time it could be my imagination, but every time I take it, I swear in every time. And now what kind of seams are you? Like? Just a regular. It's like a seams gel. Like I feel like the sea moss thing is definitely like one of the gifts of the pandemic, because definitely sea moss became like a household names in twenty twenty. Yeah, I was like, y'all, I said, I was like, ain't nobody even talk about this shit? But I was loving it. Black folks will see mossing it up and listen, it's Africa because it's not the Irish sea moss, right, Maybe it's the African right, just because sometimes I don't know, don't it come out the ocean. Irish is not where it's where it's from. You can get Irish sea moss and Jamaica. Just I'm gonna just say that. It's just what it's called. What the plants called. Thank you. Listen, somebody out the amber was like, y'all are here being dumb. Let me get in here and hit us because they are here being dumb. Let's stop. Thank you a real black if you take that Irish buffalo wings, that's not buffalo that right. I'm just cut the shame. Cut the shame, cut the shame. You've already discussed this best that is that is the gist of it all, try your best, and like we've been saying over and over and over again them to say again, pay attention to your body. Just pay attention. I don't listen. Look, look, blessen you smell what's going on with you before anybody else. Yeah, okay, it's good, before anybody else. There's literally no reason for somebody else to tell you about you. But in the words of the great Jennifer Lewis, come on, if you're sitting shit long enough, it stops stinking. Oh oh yeah, that's true. I can't. I can't say that about like, uh, like cats, people have cats, So the cats the place blind? Yeah, have the place been like oh, but that's the thing. That is the I'm telling you, that's the thing. So listen to your body so you don't go numb to it. Yeah, oh oh, you know you don't. You don't go deaf to knowledge like this. I didn't even say that. I was just building off of missus Lewis. Yes, okay, and we like, I congratulations to her who she just got her stall. Yeah, she got kick, she got five boys. I gotta see things that I wonder now every time I see a black woman. Oh, no, I'm not. It's ain't putting that on her. I'm saying when I think about black single black women. But never mind, y'all know what I'm about to say, that's gonna be. You're like, I wonder if that has anything to do yea one when you find a couple of weeks ago when I went to see my lady, well that's what. They still have a small, one, small fibroid in there. And she was like, it's nothing to worry about right now. And I was like, okay, you said right now, it's gonna be something to worry about later. No, you know why because they tell us that as you approached menopause, they shrink. So it's like, but there is this small gap if you're still a fertile myrtle that if they rid of it, you know you well, no, either way, you probably fertile. But yeah, a menopause, they start to shrink. Because they do come back. Some people will get I've known plenty of women who've gotten fibrates removed at an earlier age. They come back, they have to get them removed again. But that really is what Amber was talking about, Like, has your conversation with yourself change has what you're feeding yourself change, feeding your mental and your feel like, what are the conversations you're having with your body? What are the conversations you're having with yourself? I mean, just all of these things that rest and recuperation and reprogramming and resetting and and really figuring out what am I going to do with this freedom? What am I going to do with this lightness, this weight that I've allowed to go away? What do I do to not welcome it back? I mean, that's part of it too. And if we haven't been thinking about it. First of all, we ain't been talking about this, so we most certainly probably as it has as a community, been talking about the aftermath of it all. So you know, there's the treatments, there's the there's the medical treatments, but then there's what is the life? What is the life you want to live afterwards? Because like she said, this could be generational. You want you don't want to give these habits and these ways of thinking to the next generation of girls and women. I need like a guide on tape, something, Yeah, tell me I love. I need that I need for the next few weeks, some affirmation. I need an app for this, that's what I'm saying. Oh, baby, I need put it out there the atmosphere. Hey, ladies out there that had all the tech girls like, come up with an ask rest and recovery. Oh, I can't do it too hard as hard as you. I can't gonna hurt myself. But I want to do it that hard to Yeah, I know, she said, soon do herself. What is happening? That is so good? Baby, one of our babies, one of our nieces. This is a nephew. Come on, nieces and nephew, y'all come on, come on, y'all listening exactly what's it called? Come again? What's it called rest and recovery? As okay, ya, Auntie's gonna need about ten percent of the deal that you maybe just maybe five. We'll talk about it. Maybe give them capitalists society and I need my reparations. I'm joking only just the only problem is that, you know, an idea is not something that can be copywritten. I know, just just give Mama has a day job. Look, Auntie has a day job. He has an idea, So you can take that one for free. I got another one day to come right down. Thing. That's fine. Yeah, you go, I got another one. Just give us the hook up so that we know how to do it, that we know how to rest and explain it properly. Yeah, I'll take a music, I'll take the chimes, I'll take the herbs. I'll take it. Let's go. Oh, give it all the tips for the hat. Okay, okay, okay. Oh give us what you got, give it to us. I love. Yeah, listen, this is mutual aid. Hell, I haven't heard that in a long time. We're working together to figure it out. We are, y'all. This is a dire though. It's it's gotten, it's it's it's real serious, m it is. It is your mom, and it is your aunts and your your sisters and your girlfriends, and you and your daughter, and you and me and my babies. Yeah, yeah, the shit I sweet. Yet another thing to unpack. Uh uh. Put in the laundry and put in a dryer or hang it outside. Either way, it must be done. We thank you so so so so much for listening to Jay dot Il the podcast. We look forward to sharing information with you, and we look forward to to learning more about ourselves as we grow. You are loved, You are abundant and God damn it, you are worthy. Thank you so much. Chafts period, How do you eat an elephant? One? By? It time? Hey, listeners, it's Amber the producer here. Just another reminder that everyone's body is unique and what may work for one woman may not work for another. So if you're suffering from fibroids, work with your medical team to determine the best course of action for yourself. Leiah mentioned Vice President Kamala Harris's task voice for fibroids. The VP did introduce the Uterine Fibroid Research and Education Act into Congress in twenty twenty. For more information on the act, I'll drop a link in the show notes. Hi. If you have comments on something you said in this episode, call eight six six. Hey Joe, if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six four three nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot l. The podcast Ja dot Ill is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.