Oct. 6, 2021
I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT
Let's just admit it, sometimes we just don't feel like it! Any of it! Listen as Jill, Aja and Laiya break down all the "its" and why it's ok to feel this way.....for a little while.
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00:00:03
Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot m a production of I Heart Radio. What's Up, Good People? I got my arms up, I got my hands up in the air. I I need some scrump. Okay, I need some scrump on this one. Welcome to Jay dot Illo Podcast. I'm here, I'm I'm see I see what I'm saying. I mean, I'm here. I'm here with my sister friends, Aga Graden, Dancer and Lion st Clair. And it's one of them days. You know, like I I don't. I don't feel like it. I don't feel like none of it. I don't. What does that mean? Man? You know, because we're in this place and it's like, oh, you gotta you gotta get your grind on. You gotta do the work. You gotta you know, you gotta work to you achieve. You gotta people counting on, people counting on you. That's the one. When you got a bunch of people, implormate family counting on you, it's it's and there's no way to actually check out. I have to do things today. I don't have a job per se. Today. I'm happy to talk to y'all motherfucker's. But other than that responsibility, I have the responsibilities, the responsibilities that are primarily family. You know, I gotta do some things that I really like I dream doing I just said, and not feel guilty about it. And not feel guilty I mean, because it's it's the guilt that will get you every time. And you'll be sitting down and even say to yourself, I'm not doing this, but then spend the whole time not doing it, having a conversation with yourself in your head saying when then you knew you were supposed to do that? And sometimes you don't do that enough times and then eventually you just bust off. Let's just talk about that. When you don't listen to your that inner in your mind that says I don't feel like it, I'm not doing this, I'm not going and you let it go multiple times, then eventually it builds up on the inside. I don't know, Maybe it's just me. I'll go with the crickets if if I don't attend to the situation, eventually it's gonna be fire burn. They're gonna be like, oh lord, she have flipped out, and what is going on with with agent? But I'm good fire. I love what you say. Like we know that this that don the fan. I have to give props to my best friend of my entire life, Aliyah clued up and she's going to be so happy that I named her by name that's fireburn come from her. I gotta I gotta give her her credit and credit I feel today. I don't feel like you know, the boy asked me for something today and it was sitting in front of his face, and I think I blacked out for a second and came back. I was so agitated because all he had the glue was look when he's nine bones, that's all he had to do. It wasn't even it was right there, Jill, in this moment, did you forget all them times? You'll be like where is my phone? And where my glasses? Because it's today. You ain't got no patience And that's really that's really what it is. I just I don't really have a lot of patience today for anything or anyone. I don't feel like it. If I could spend this whole day just taking a bath, I could do I would do it. I would take a bath and I would watch something Eyes on the Prizes out or whatever y'all know me, I'll sit down and watch nineteen documentaries in a row. Leave me alone here and see what I think. A new episode in praising Grayson Frankie is up. You know what I'm saying. I'm not playing games for these people today. I'm tired. The mind is tired, the body is tired, the voice is tired. And I'm like, yeah, I got on the car. Y'alls like, Asia, what's wrong? Ain't nothing wrong? A bitch is drained, That's all it is, so, y'all, don't get your life sitting and like, never have VEG moments where you could just well, of course, well, of course, here's the funny part about a VEG moment. It typically doesn't happen at that very moment where you need it. Moment right, let me see, Let let me sit from my my, my baby, Yoda cup, good good leg moments are not planned, you know they used, but they are deciding. Yeah, but I want one today. I wanna. I wanna do it today. I don't want to think about what this person or that person in this house is going to eat. God bless him. As food in the refrigerator is it's ways to cook it? Leave me alone. I don't I don't want to go to my mother's house today and deal with her stuff. I don't want to do it. I just don't want to listen. Listen, I'm gonna tell y'all. But if I don't, let's let we can. We can, we can continue. Look these things that were over, let's I'm gonna take my cue from you, Jill, and I'm gonna name it. Okay, I'm gonna claim it. Whold, y'all. I am over, and y'all gonna be surprised at this. I'm over the internet, honey, I'm so over. Listen. I'm so old people and they damn opinions and their arguments, and I'm tired of people being stupid and not reading and posting articles from bs and just saying anything out their mouth with a chest. People that are understanding basic basic, You understand me basic ship See that's gon see you you are you are level one to engage or on social media. You hare's a lot of different levels to engage in on social media. Some of us just troll. Not us, because I don't troll some of us. I'm just saying here, she does doesn't she gets it in, She gets it in, and then she internal They were talking about some deep stuff to you know what I'm saying, And if you ain't got time, I don't have time for that. I don't have time for the book, you know. But my family always like you didn't see when we posted this on the book, I don't. I don't have time for the book. That's a whole bunch of energy. But I don't. Well, I'll tell you this much. I at least have enough enough respect for my peace of mind to not engage on the book. I'll be on the book, but I don't engage in nary conversation on the book. Here. I'll put something up there. Y'all can comment all you want to. My favorite tagline is argue with yourself. Y'all know I ain't on the book. You have to be exhausted from it. It's been a few years. It's been the last Yeah, yeah, I said Michael Byes. I had created what I thought was a safe Facebook page with people that I actually knew, not strangers. Not somebody was like, oh I like your content, let's be friends. It wasn't like that. It was people that I actually knew and had known for some time, and all of a sudden one day, my stuff is showing up somewhere else. I can't go through all my people and say, did you say, did you did you paste, did you copy and paste? Did you share this with? I can't do that. So I just dumped everybody, everybody because if you have my number, you got it. That poll about every year. I don't do the clubhouses and even oh, I can't do that. Energy can am waking up trying to fight myself saying the words I'm don't say it. Allow, girl, today sounds it sounds like we're a little bit crap. Well, I'm a little bit crappy. I ain't gonna say what you are, agent says, she's a little sleepy. I'm I'm just like I am. I am legitimately annoyed by everything today. Are we on the same situation? We're not. We're not there right because we're not physically in each other's presence, so we're not We're not all in the same No, I'm I still got a couple of days before that happened. I'm a woman, so I can ask that question. Man, you can't ask what you can right now. You cannot, you know, especially in these in these feelings, in this in this particular you know, emotions said, you might get smacked good, but if you ain't going through or otherwise. And I'm also quite tired. I've had quite enough. I've had right enough. It's it's like, okay with the with the grown up portion, you know, you gotta grow up and handle things, and it's it's only the kids knew. It's really not that fun that all the stuff that also pressed to do. It's a hot to ask mess and nobody feels like having to do it. What do you get to do? You get to well, at sixteen, you get to drive, so you get to have your own space. That's awesome, but you have to also pay for it. You gotta pay for your own space. Um, what else I'm tired of wearing? I'm tired of wearing makeup? Can I say that I'm tired of that too. I'll be happy if I never have to plug uh, contour, lined, highlight or bronze ever again in life. I did have my makeup done earlier this week by my friend Kietrick, and it was super cute. Now it's happy about that. I was like, yeah, but it wasn't something that I had to do myself. Today I'm talking about just I know we are advocates for the nap, you know, but it's beyond a nap. It's beyond me just taking a nap. It's it's like I want to run away from home. I don't want my phone to ring. I don't feel like it, and and oddly enough, I don't feel some kind of ways. Isn't night if nobody said anything to me at all? Why can't we embrace this part of ourselves too? Why we have to be agreeable all of that? Damn, I'm not agreeable, like, I just can't. I don't think it's about I don't know what you're saying. Girls like the expectations and then agreeables everybody that's in like the service industry. I mean, y'all are in the service industry, is in the industry. But damn, when you got to have to deal with folks every day. I have a displine about yourself. And that's the smile and somebody to say, oh, I love the way you brighten my day. One of them people, and you ain't got time for it. Listen. I was in a in a post office yesterday and I wanted to cuss the person out for the postal worker like I. I shoot, the customer was making me so mad at the way that that that she was acting. I wanted to get out the line and cuss her for the person that was working for the postal service, because I was like, listen, says, don't talk to her like that. Okay, don't talk to her like that, and I and I'm with you. Shout out to people who have to work in service, because I'll be don't clust everybody else. If you get through the full day without a cuss, I promise you you're a special individual. Hold on, I want to talk you every day. I want to take a moment for a special UH industry. Uh that my mother was a part of the flight attendant industry, because these poor people talk about you ain't got time for it and it don't matter, or they said, in history, there has never been this this many fines, UH duct tape confinements, UH attempts to open up doors just m I'm just saying, shout out to them, and shout out to the people that work in the medical field as well. Especially now you guys are patience of somebody's saying I don't know, I argue with you about COVID they're gonna argue with you when you're working in you're in the hospital every day. I mean, you're gonna you're gonna give me your conspiracy theories. I ain't got time for it, oh girl. The therapists are overrun with work. I remember, not even six months into the pandemic, my sister in law, who's the therapist, was like, they're getting calls out the wazoo. They gotta turn down people. But mind you, some of the people who need to be calling amen don't and they need to get on the goddamn Faulla airplane. Stop calling me, stop talking to me, stopped going to other places and taking your wildness. And with all due respect to those who have real, you know, challenges, you know people that lost they got damn mind. We're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back. I think it started with this morning. I got hit with the wammy. There was there's someone that I know who had a very very serious loss to two of them back to back, very serious. Um. I know them, but I don't know them like that, but I know them. But nonetheless, I got the phone called this morning that that there's some part of that that's a whole fraud. I was like, dan Z, there's a lot of that. Now, there's a lot of fraud. Ass says. Somebody called me the other day, just the cell phone business. You know. They called me and told me that, um, somebody is trying to use my my credit card in Texas at Walmart six hundred sevent What do I want to do? I was like, well, clearly, don't let the you know, the charger go through. They're like, we can't stop them unless you give us your social Security brother. Oh girl, how about how about the people who want to call you fifteen times about your car? Your car? Yes, yes, I don't know what that ship is about. I don't know what that. I feel like, you know, everybody talk about COVID conspiracy. We need to figure out that conspiracy. Can y'all pull that up? Can you dock them? Can we find out way they at and shut that ship down? And they're just they're just trying to make a living. I was a telemarketer once, but I sold magazines, and I'm telling you right now, I felt like garbage. I lasted one week. I'm trying to sell this lady these magazines. She don't need and the baby crying in the background. She's like, can you hold on? And I was like, she's there, there, there there, oh honey, oh honey. And I get back to the script, you know, because we got this wildlife magazine that is out of sight. It's great for children. Yeah, they're gonna love it to that and the other I felt like crap. I was like, I'm selling this. This woman don't need this magazine. She needs a nanny, she need help, she need a nap, she need a footmas side, she needs four people ain't got time for it because they're working from home with all that stuff, right, Dore. I'm just like, you just made me think about that, like people working from home making phone call you everybody you talked to you on customer services at home talk about that. You know, y'all know what else I'm over, But I'm over keys every time I go on the damn website, just about them. Damn cookie What the fuck? I mean? What the word word? All day? Can y'all just stop with the goddamn cookies? Accept the cookies. No, I'm not accepting ship. I'm not letting you sell my ship. What is wrong with you people? This is why? Yeah, why this is literally a podcast about nothing. I wish we could get together. I wish we could get together and just have a cocktail and and maybe you know Elia and I will blaze and and Adrian can I think I wasn't. You think I wasn't. But I'm just that's what I definitely don't do his drugs. That's that's a girl I don't like. Listen. Hey, I have to listen. I have to make all my disclaimers. No, we don't have an episode. We're not talking about drugs. I'm joking, y'all. I'm just saying there's difference. I'm not talking about drugs. I yeah, I don't know why that's my go to voice when I'm like talking about drugs. Don't do drugs either. But I believe in water. And that's probably what I need to get involved with right now because I don't feel like it. I'm gonna tell you right now that is the perfect partner. And I don't feel like an attitude, which is probably why I'm not where y'all are today because I didn't feel like it yesterday. So the boy and some part of the day my body went, I don't feel like so we just So what happened because for a long time we were stuck in the house, in the house board, you know, for a long time, and we were like, I can't wait to get out, I can't wait to get back to work. I can't wait to this, that and the other. And now so many people are not working. It's gonna sound like some old uh, some rich people problems. I can't get shipped, reupholstered, get nothing mares hu supposed to be learning how to do that at home. First of all, that's what you that's the things you do. And you're a I can't stay poll a thing. I don't wanted to look bad when I when I put the fabric like I wanted to look nice. You want to talk, I want to talk. I talk. I know that is the YouTube. Maybe that would make me feel better if I go and I buy some go I'm find some upholstery, upholstery stuff. You can't get your poster. Do you know the price I gas and groceries is high? Yesterday's price. Yesterday's price is not today's. Take everybody taking advantage of it, everybody, even the coffee people. It's a coffee issue right now. I don't even know m drinking kind of coffee. Yeah, and it's the same price. And then I get it on one of them sites. You don't want to want a place that delivers it. I get it from a place it's a website that delivers it, and then um, it's cheaper on that website as well. You know, I love to save money. Did I tell you it's a thing to make me happy? I wish I could just save some money today. Are you talking about going outside? I'm over the people who are outside who didn't learn from the pandemic that you actually not supposed to stand so close to other people. Somehow they have decided that that rule is over and that now they're gonna be on my back. And I need even when you get back in touch, I need them to get back in touch with the concept the six feet all around rule. But they don't believe that it actually exists. I don't care. I'm in the airport that people are sporadic dying to tell you where to stay in the diet is right, Look at the damn floor. I'm seriously, I didn't almost have to get in the fight with people over this ship in the last couple of weeks in the airports and stuff like do you see do you see me doing how many? I think I think it's time to go back to see my therapist. Is really what it is. I think that's it. I am something that's going on. I am oh lethargic. Can't you just have a day? What? Why do can't you just have a day? I don't think it's a day. I think I gotta get something off my chest. I think I need to go and punch something a lot. You know, they have those places that you can go in and you can just tear up the little destroy rooms which I have. I'm still I'm scared of that stuff because I'm like, if you're looking like too much stuff is broken and jagged up in there. But I will say that, yeah, you know, my old lady like that looks dangerous. But still they have it in the meantime, you could go in there and just bust it up. I mean, I gotta punching bag downstairs and I'm gonna go punch something. I'm gonna go punch it. I gotta do something. Maybe that too, I don't want to see. I gotta warm my family. My nephew will do it with me. He's He's always frustrated by the world. At ten years old, he like, I don't know somebody I want to meet? You do you really do? You've seen him be for the little thing with the glasses. You've seen, You've seen him around. But he is the darkest person I've ever met. I need to hang with him today. I feel dark and agent hated, like I'm actually hot, an old dog with a new rash. That's how I feel before. I don't even know, baby, Yes, that's how I feel. Well. I'm a I'm a I'm an old dog with a lot of sweat glands. Because yesterday I was doing laundry and I said to myself, I had plans after doing laundry, so I put on, you know, just it was just a little cotton summer dress because I'm thinking, after I finished doing what I'm gonna doing, I just want to already be dressed. Okay, got clean from a dress on. It wasn't super cute, but you know, it's ready to go to the next destination. Girl. I went in there to do the laundry and suddenly sweat was pouring off my body and I was like, Lord, Lord, really, and just where I'm at in life stud that I'm this age to where I'm just doing some light laundry and and now my body is acting like I didn't ran a marathon. Is that what's happening? Now? I'm annoyed with the general state of my body attacking me, and I was annoyed. I looked crazy. I had to go get by a rag to wipe myself because I was like, I look insane right now. Let me say this. I need an assistant. Okay, I need I need an assistant in Nashville. Okay, girl, don't sup, girl, But look look what I'm saying is there you will be vetted. It's not like you're just gonna come straight to me. You there's there's interviews, the interview process. Okay, you need some references, you know, video, video references. I don't need to. I don't need you. It's not a yeah, COVID test the whole gamut, like all of the all of the ships, all of the ships. I'm but I do need somebody. I'm just gonna tell me, what about Asian story made you think about you need an assistant? Because in my mind, like she like because she said laundry and I have to do laundry, and I have to unpack my luggage to repack my luggage, and I just thought about that, like that is something else. Sometimes I just leave the clothes from the Sometimes just leave clothes from the last trip. Right now. It's not like I don't have other luggage. But for whatever reason, my kid wants that luggage. He thinks that luggage belongs to him, which doesn't doesn't, but he wants it, and he's asked me for it for like a week, and now I have to give it to him. God, just because I said I would. But I don't feel like it. Look at that right back to where we started, I don't. I just want to take a minute for the sweaters, because Asia, as you are just being welcome into this club, some of us have been having these sweating issues for a minute. And um, some of us not only swept when they get out the shower, um, and not at night. Sometimes you sweat just when you're nervous. So then motherfucker's always know what's something wrong? Ain't nothing. Ain't nothing like meeting somebody that you really are nervous about meeting, and you start to break it into sweat, and so now you must carry a fan around with you and you collect fans and people think it's cute, but it's really fun. Now. I didn't. I didn't believe like until until until I saw it firsthand, and I was like, Yo, you're all right, and I'm so sorry. And I hadn't seen you for us. I don't say yeah. I started to say, I was so happy to see you too, but she just she just she was wet. What's happen your name? And just so you know, when something going on with you, she's gonna make it known and she's gonna take her own web MD diagnosis of you. Um and that I'm so sorry, daughter. It's literally like are you are you sick? Are you feeling well? Like that again, I'll bring it up again, like when my with my ankles that are a little large and she thinks I have a demon. I'm just saying, this is just the ship that she just our friendship. Girl. Don't no, don't let me tell you about this. One time I was on vacation. This was a few years ago. It was a few years ago. I was on vacation because Joe, this ain't even you didn't do it. I was on vacation a few years ago, y'all. And I posted a picture of myself by the pool, girl's feet crossed infinity pool child. I was feeling good about my life. Girl, post a little picture. Girl, why's the world couple? Like? I'm a nurse. I think you have a demon like bitch. Who the fuck? Who asked? Did you? This is what I need to know? And while I'm on vacation. You you diagnosing me on the internet. While I'm on vacac just got off the plane. You know your peaks well off the plane. You know that that's the thing. Or she couldn't just minded her goddamn business. Oh god, I apologize to everybody. Well I didn't. I didn't read my my goddamn business and g O T d A m man, I'm so sorry. My mama was like, no, she just got her daddy ankles. Leave. Hello, that's what your mother said. Because I was because I was concerned, and I was, you know, I was ready to rub it on and she might not have said it twice. I was gonna rob him. I was like, let's sit down. I got you, and she was like, that's just my ankles, jail, And I was like, no, I've problem now, that's a beginning to get better. She's like, no, it's just my ankles. Jail. I was like, I'm sorry and didn't believe. Was like, maybe you just call your doctor. I think you said that. Maybe you'll just call your doctor. What's wrong with me? Roving your ankles? Help? I hope helps people. Oh, y'all is crazy. Jerry can do a whole show about it. We can do an episode. Nothing. I still got to go to my mother's house at some point today. I still have to go. Yeah, you should go to your mother house. That's what you got. I worked myself up for that. Responsibilities. Yeah, I know. If I don't handle this, it ain't gonna get handled. You just gotta do a little affirmation when you're over it. You gotta talk yourself into what let's get Let's get to the other side of this thing. How do how do we get to the other size? Affirm? I have a monthful, I have a mindful. In this app on my phone, I got one of how I had a little sent me one the other day that she is teaching meditations and this joint is dope. She said she said this during every day, say it okay, being grateful keeps the door open for more blessings. I have the power to create wealth and freedom with ease. My life is full of amazing opportunities that are already for me to step into. Yes, okay, all right, then we have like you have. There's so many where you know, they will tell you, like all the different kinds that you can do because you have like you can do a gratitude um meditation when you really over stuff because you just it's hard to see the things that you could be happy about. So I on my app it will have the ten minute one for gratitude for simple things, gratitude through negative experiences, gratitude for nature, gratitude, affirmation, gratitude and negative situations. So I I just tap one the things sometimes and be like, okay, what's going on with me today? That it's some meditation, it's not actually affirmation, it's and listen and listen to it. Yeah. Yeah. And then I got this thing too here check up. I called this this is my time out when people don't piss me off. Real good. I got this little time on that my home girl sent me and I just flipped that girl. Each side is ten minutes. Yeah, that's for your peace of mind, not for them to shut the funk up, but more for your peace of mind. This is my time out that I give myself, so I put myself from time off. I'll put myself from time off. My system puts it do not disturb on her door. And I like that. I don't take one of those Ye that makes sense though, Like, yeah, what they charge you for that? And it has a it's like a little um white board and it has a light inside. If she got an off of one of them sites and deliver things, deliver things and you know, show right in the bath, in the shower, being quiet, you know that kind of thing just to balance that is great. I love that idea. Yeah, I just don't feel like writing anything. I don't feel like it. You know, for those of you writing, you know, they don't give my life. Have you ever seen a little octopus where it's like a little fluffy doll and on one side the octopus is smiling, and then you flip it inside out and it looks me So you can sit it on your desk or you sit at someplace in front of so that when people approach you, they know what type of mood or what type of situation is popping off. That's kind of that is thoughtful. That is very thoughtful musically. You know who always bring me out of a good song? I don't know, just because he finding he made me feel good all the time, Anderson like Anderson made me feel like it. That was just my own Look. I actually have a playlist or my or my Spotify that's my went out to get me out of a phone. It's called what It's called w TF and I just click on my w TF and it's a one of my favorite leave me the hell alone, give Me some Time song. Her name is I had to look it up because it's one of these names, so SIS or whether you know, I don't. I don't know if you SIS or you you know, identify that. But your name is cnabo say a song called I Owe You Nothing nice more real talk after the break and I don't even like fun. This is this is a bad place to be. I'm questioning. Am I depressed because I don't feel like having fun either. I don't feel like it. I don't know. You didn't mention that you were having some physical issues of not issues, but feeling some physical changes after your preparation for your role. Yes, this might also be part of that. It's also the anticipation of going back to this crazy schedule. That's why you may not feel like it either. Yeah, I got I've got September. But somehow, in a somehow or another, um work is is kind of whittling its way into my month, and I want the month because October is gone. You know. For me, I'm scheduled to work all of October. I'll be away from home again for a month at least, And you know, I guess I also I'm like anxiety about about leaving again, Like I love home so much now, I love so I love home so much now on the people to live in it. You want to enjoyed as much as you can while you got it. Yeah, but I'm here with him, and I don't feel like it, like like something, I'm I think, I'm I think I'm a little a little depressed. I think I'm I'm gonna have to deal with this here. If you could truly control your day, what would you be doing if I could go somewhere or do something. I would go fishing. I would I would go I would go to Colorado, and I would I would trout fish fly fish, you know, just the moving water, the crispness of the water around your boot, you know, just catching the fish. That's all. It's all little excitements that I would like to do that when I guess that one, oh, I'm a little bit more of a basic bitch. I just need some more beach in my life. I think I just need some ocean water. But I got some clean ocean water. And then like saying, yeah, you know, I know a lot of people don't like saying and that's interesting because I'm such a water baby and I just I love the water, so actually, could I can respect the fishing part too, because I think I would love that. I love all kinds of water, all bodies of water. Whenever I meditate and I get to choose the background, I always choose water, whether it's rain or whether it's a bumbling brook or a river or ocean. I love water that sounds like a good time. If it was raining, I would go lay in the backyard and just get wet. I would like that it looks like it's gonna rain. I'm doing it. I'm just you know, I buying being electrocuted out there. I'm like out there like a little cute lightning riding braids. I don't want these troubles. Mumm. If this lasts for longer than today, then I'm gonna have to pay attention to it, you know what I mean? Like, look, y'all, we all do because you didn't put us on on, you know. Yeah, now we're gonna have to check channel. Yeah, yeah, I thank you for that. I thank you for that. I feel like, I don't know if this is the indication of that I have something larger going on. I think this is more of an indication of the fact that I'm starting to shift boundaries in my life, and I'm starting to shift the ways that I deal with things, And so my tolerance level for bullshit to which I don't want to be a part of a deal with is so much lower. Yeah, And so I just once I get done. There was a time where I force myself to push through. There was a time where I would just say, Okay, don't worry about it, don't show them when you're uncomfortable, don't be this, don't be that, be as agreeable as you possibly can. And that's just not a place I'm not in my life anymore, you know what, I mean, and so when I feel at this age, this is what I'm saying. When I feel discomfort, you can see it, you can feel it. And and I don't even shy away from that because I like being able to name and claim my discomfort. Hey, because then I can decide, much like what you were talking about, is this something an indication of something else, or is this just a situation. I can remity name and claiming the discomfort. I love that because I don't know what this is. I just don't feel like it. But but to be able to name what this is, I think a part of it. I'm gonna go dig into my journal a little bit when we get out of here, or um, I just the anxiety of going back to work, the anxiety about when I come back from I'm going on a little trip with my kids and my family friends. We're all meeting in the police, and I'm excited about that, very excited. But right after, like literally the day after I get home, I got like a photo shoot and I'm like, no, I wanted to eat all the things vacation. But thank you right right right, thank you, lie, thank you so much. Yeah, it's that gratitude, that thing, right there to catch you, to get you all the way right back together. Thank you so much. Gratitude. I know we talked about it, and I love the list. I just want to stay with it while because we talked about it and we left, but let's go right back to it. It was like gratitude for nature, gratitude for friendships, gratitude for for quality family, gratitude, atitude for self awareness, all of it. Gratitudes were frustrating, as it may be sometimes to be self for good good lotion, you know, good lotion, yes, but nice even melanated skin. But for fair, fair edges, you know what I mean? Fair acceptable, able to be manipulated to look better. Yet my acceptable edges, they're not acceptable and not extraordinary. But are you ready to do the pullback challenges yet? Though they're doing. Yeah, they're they're hanging in there for the good fight. They're doing. They're they're fighting the good fight. Wearing my hair down right now, just to get the less stress on the side. I pulled that. Shut up. Sorry, I guess I need to get stopped wearing my scar. You do you be pulling up a lot. But I also think I may smell like a sandwich. But not a fish one. Now, let me check no onions. Onions are are temporarily acceptable fish is get up and get in the shower now, because we take showers daily. We need yeah that soak go saks get washed around here. That is what we do because that that improves my mood also because like when that's my lone time, I'm getting the hell out of here and I'm gonna wash. And if after I wash and dry, I want to deal with you, then I shall. But if I don't and I'm time out the time and I won't. You know that that shower can wake you up and hit a reset for you real easy. That's too for the stoners too. Y'all know that I think I'm I might go ahead and try to get my little feet done, you know, little little things. I gotta fight my way out of this because it's not I'm too blessed you hear me, hear me, I'm too blessed. Like if it's truly what you think too sweet, then yes, if it's something else that you just can't put your finger on, then we still we were a little worried. But if it's what you think it is, then that may be the remedy, a little bit of pampy yourself and ease into this thing you gotta go do so chill, know, Hobbs as self doctor, You know, yeah, Well, the acceptance sometimes it's the acceptance of the whole thing, anticipation of Jackie up quick if you just if you're anticipating what what a situation will be like. Because I think sometimes if I have something coming up that I'm quote unquote not looking forward to, or that I have some anxiety about it, sometimes I have to remind myself that I don't know how that day is going to turn out. That that having to do that photo shoot or do X one zie on that day that I may not want to do it, that might be the it might be the best shoot ever. I might meet somebody amazing, something really great might happen that day, And I think, I think sometimes I have to remind myself not to pre decide what my day is gonna be like. And as easily as I can decide that it's going to be stressful, I can also decide that it's not that it's not because the whole reason that you're going through what you're going through in the first place is because you manifested it, and you wanted it right like you wanted You just didn't realize that all this other stuff came with it, because that's what it gets to a point where you don't want it no more, then you need to start asking for different things. And to to Asia's point about the language, that's why the best part about that mantra that I gave y'all, that Helen gave me to me, that's the best sentence was I have the power to create, and not the wealth part of school. But I have the power to create freedom with ease. I have the power to create freedom with You have the power to create freedom with ease. So know that, say what you want and then go you're gonna get it. You know what I'm saying. I have the power to create. When tabernacle, who has who has a tambourine? Who has a tamphone? I just got to break data very nice. Yeah, we all rock and we need we need them them. Because I don't have the language for that. I was like, what is the mother please somewhere a grandmother is please? Yes, yes, yes, So start thinking about what that looks like, Jill, and play with that. Get out your head for like, what's about to happen in the next two months, Get in your head about what's gonna happen next year, what you wanted to look like. Yeah, yeah, look, I just need you all to listen. Do not think for one moment that the journey is it's easier for anybody else. You know, if it's your human being, you know, you you got your highs and your low ups in your downs. That's everybody. Okay, don't don't forget that. So I won't forget, you know, as I'm experiencing this and trying to um and not even trying, but I'm looking at it finding solutions for it. That if you're in the same place right now you just don't feel like anything, like doing anything or trying anything, or or going anywhere. If you don't feel like anything, you're not alone, and here are some options, you know, to try to get yourself out of that. That mood. It's it's just the mood. It's okay. It doesn't own you, It doesn't own you. You're all right, baby, I'm talking to myself. You all right, you all right? You all right baby? Right, yeah, all right? You got your hands in your feet, honey, mm hmmm, it's a good life. You gotta love, okay. Somebody loves somebody love your as somebody loves your ass and you still and with all of that, you still have a right to not feel like it sometimes. Thank you so much for listening to Jay dot Il the Podcast. This episode was about nothing much. Thank you so much for spending your time talking about a little bit of this life with us. Catch you next time, peace y'all. Hi, if you have comments on something he said in this episode called eight six six, Hey Jill, if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six three nine, five, four five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents j dot Ill the Podcast. This podcast is hosted by Jill Scott, Layah st Clair and agent Graden Danceler. It's executive producers are Jill Scott, Shawn g and Brian Calhoun. It's produced by La st Clair and me Eve Jeff Cope. The editing and sound design for this episode we're done by Christina Loranger. J dot Ill is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcast from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot m a production of I Heart Radio. What's Up, Good People? I got my arms up, I got my hands up in the air. I I need some scrump. Okay, I need some scrump on this one. Welcome to Jay dot Illo Podcast. I'm here, I'm I'm see I see what I'm saying. I mean, I'm here. I'm here with my sister friends, Aga Graden, Dancer and Lion st Clair. And it's one of them days. You know, like I I don't. I don't feel like it. I don't feel like none of it. I don't. What does that mean? Man? You know, because we're in this place and it's like, oh, you gotta you gotta get your grind on. You gotta do the work. You gotta you know, you gotta work to you achieve. You gotta people counting on, people counting on you. That's the one. When you got a bunch of people, implormate family counting on you, it's it's and there's no way to actually check out. I have to do things today. I don't have a job per se. Today. I'm happy to talk to y'all motherfucker's. But other than that responsibility, I have the responsibilities, the responsibilities that are primarily family. You know, I gotta do some things that I really like I dream doing I just said, and not feel guilty about it. And not feel guilty I mean, because it's it's the guilt that will get you every time. And you'll be sitting down and even say to yourself, I'm not doing this, but then spend the whole time not doing it, having a conversation with yourself in your head saying when then you knew you were supposed to do that? And sometimes you don't do that enough times and then eventually you just bust off. Let's just talk about that. When you don't listen to your that inner in your mind that says I don't feel like it, I'm not doing this, I'm not going and you let it go multiple times, then eventually it builds up on the inside. I don't know, Maybe it's just me. I'll go with the crickets if if I don't attend to the situation, eventually it's gonna be fire burn. They're gonna be like, oh lord, she have flipped out, and what is going on with with agent? But I'm good fire. I love what you say. Like we know that this that don the fan. I have to give props to my best friend of my entire life, Aliyah clued up and she's going to be so happy that I named her by name that's fireburn come from her. I gotta I gotta give her her credit and credit I feel today. I don't feel like you know, the boy asked me for something today and it was sitting in front of his face, and I think I blacked out for a second and came back. I was so agitated because all he had the glue was look when he's nine bones, that's all he had to do. It wasn't even it was right there, Jill, in this moment, did you forget all them times? You'll be like where is my phone? And where my glasses? Because it's today. You ain't got no patience And that's really that's really what it is. I just I don't really have a lot of patience today for anything or anyone. I don't feel like it. If I could spend this whole day just taking a bath, I could do I would do it. I would take a bath and I would watch something Eyes on the Prizes out or whatever y'all know me, I'll sit down and watch nineteen documentaries in a row. Leave me alone here and see what I think. A new episode in praising Grayson Frankie is up. You know what I'm saying. I'm not playing games for these people today. I'm tired. The mind is tired, the body is tired, the voice is tired. And I'm like, yeah, I got on the car. Y'alls like, Asia, what's wrong? Ain't nothing wrong? A bitch is drained, That's all it is, so, y'all, don't get your life sitting and like, never have VEG moments where you could just well, of course, well, of course, here's the funny part about a VEG moment. It typically doesn't happen at that very moment where you need it. Moment right, let me see, Let let me sit from my my, my baby, Yoda cup, good good leg moments are not planned, you know they used, but they are deciding. Yeah, but I want one today. I wanna. I wanna do it today. I don't want to think about what this person or that person in this house is going to eat. God bless him. As food in the refrigerator is it's ways to cook it? Leave me alone. I don't I don't want to go to my mother's house today and deal with her stuff. I don't want to do it. I just don't want to listen. Listen, I'm gonna tell y'all. But if I don't, let's let we can. We can, we can continue. Look these things that were over, let's I'm gonna take my cue from you, Jill, and I'm gonna name it. Okay, I'm gonna claim it. Whold, y'all. I am over, and y'all gonna be surprised at this. I'm over the internet, honey, I'm so over. Listen. I'm so old people and they damn opinions and their arguments, and I'm tired of people being stupid and not reading and posting articles from bs and just saying anything out their mouth with a chest. People that are understanding basic basic, You understand me basic ship See that's gon see you you are you are level one to engage or on social media. You hare's a lot of different levels to engage in on social media. Some of us just troll. Not us, because I don't troll some of us. I'm just saying here, she does doesn't she gets it in, She gets it in, and then she internal They were talking about some deep stuff to you know what I'm saying, And if you ain't got time, I don't have time for that. I don't have time for the book, you know. But my family always like you didn't see when we posted this on the book, I don't. I don't have time for the book. That's a whole bunch of energy. But I don't. Well, I'll tell you this much. I at least have enough enough respect for my peace of mind to not engage on the book. I'll be on the book, but I don't engage in nary conversation on the book. Here. I'll put something up there. Y'all can comment all you want to. My favorite tagline is argue with yourself. Y'all know I ain't on the book. You have to be exhausted from it. It's been a few years. It's been the last Yeah, yeah, I said Michael Byes. I had created what I thought was a safe Facebook page with people that I actually knew, not strangers. Not somebody was like, oh I like your content, let's be friends. It wasn't like that. It was people that I actually knew and had known for some time, and all of a sudden one day, my stuff is showing up somewhere else. I can't go through all my people and say, did you say, did you did you paste, did you copy and paste? Did you share this with? I can't do that. So I just dumped everybody, everybody because if you have my number, you got it. That poll about every year. I don't do the clubhouses and even oh, I can't do that. Energy can am waking up trying to fight myself saying the words I'm don't say it. Allow, girl, today sounds it sounds like we're a little bit crap. Well, I'm a little bit crappy. I ain't gonna say what you are, agent says, she's a little sleepy. I'm I'm just like I am. I am legitimately annoyed by everything today. Are we on the same situation? We're not. We're not there right because we're not physically in each other's presence, so we're not We're not all in the same No, I'm I still got a couple of days before that happened. I'm a woman, so I can ask that question. Man, you can't ask what you can right now. You cannot, you know, especially in these in these feelings, in this in this particular you know, emotions said, you might get smacked good, but if you ain't going through or otherwise. And I'm also quite tired. I've had quite enough. I've had right enough. It's it's like, okay with the with the grown up portion, you know, you gotta grow up and handle things, and it's it's only the kids knew. It's really not that fun that all the stuff that also pressed to do. It's a hot to ask mess and nobody feels like having to do it. What do you get to do? You get to well, at sixteen, you get to drive, so you get to have your own space. That's awesome, but you have to also pay for it. You gotta pay for your own space. Um, what else I'm tired of wearing? I'm tired of wearing makeup? Can I say that I'm tired of that too. I'll be happy if I never have to plug uh, contour, lined, highlight or bronze ever again in life. I did have my makeup done earlier this week by my friend Kietrick, and it was super cute. Now it's happy about that. I was like, yeah, but it wasn't something that I had to do myself. Today I'm talking about just I know we are advocates for the nap, you know, but it's beyond a nap. It's beyond me just taking a nap. It's it's like I want to run away from home. I don't want my phone to ring. I don't feel like it, and and oddly enough, I don't feel some kind of ways. Isn't night if nobody said anything to me at all? Why can't we embrace this part of ourselves too? Why we have to be agreeable all of that? Damn, I'm not agreeable, like, I just can't. I don't think it's about I don't know what you're saying. Girls like the expectations and then agreeables everybody that's in like the service industry. I mean, y'all are in the service industry, is in the industry. But damn, when you got to have to deal with folks every day. I have a displine about yourself. And that's the smile and somebody to say, oh, I love the way you brighten my day. One of them people, and you ain't got time for it. Listen. I was in a in a post office yesterday and I wanted to cuss the person out for the postal worker like I. I shoot, the customer was making me so mad at the way that that that she was acting. I wanted to get out the line and cuss her for the person that was working for the postal service, because I was like, listen, says, don't talk to her like that. Okay, don't talk to her like that, and I and I'm with you. Shout out to people who have to work in service, because I'll be don't clust everybody else. If you get through the full day without a cuss, I promise you you're a special individual. Hold on, I want to talk you every day. I want to take a moment for a special UH industry. Uh that my mother was a part of the flight attendant industry, because these poor people talk about you ain't got time for it and it don't matter, or they said, in history, there has never been this this many fines, UH duct tape confinements, UH attempts to open up doors just m I'm just saying, shout out to them, and shout out to the people that work in the medical field as well. Especially now you guys are patience of somebody's saying I don't know, I argue with you about COVID they're gonna argue with you when you're working in you're in the hospital every day. I mean, you're gonna you're gonna give me your conspiracy theories. I ain't got time for it, oh girl. The therapists are overrun with work. I remember, not even six months into the pandemic, my sister in law, who's the therapist, was like, they're getting calls out the wazoo. They gotta turn down people. But mind you, some of the people who need to be calling amen don't and they need to get on the goddamn Faulla airplane. Stop calling me, stop talking to me, stopped going to other places and taking your wildness. And with all due respect to those who have real, you know, challenges, you know people that lost they got damn mind. We're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back. I think it started with this morning. I got hit with the wammy. There was there's someone that I know who had a very very serious loss to two of them back to back, very serious. Um. I know them, but I don't know them like that, but I know them. But nonetheless, I got the phone called this morning that that there's some part of that that's a whole fraud. I was like, dan Z, there's a lot of that. Now, there's a lot of fraud. Ass says. Somebody called me the other day, just the cell phone business. You know. They called me and told me that, um, somebody is trying to use my my credit card in Texas at Walmart six hundred sevent What do I want to do? I was like, well, clearly, don't let the you know, the charger go through. They're like, we can't stop them unless you give us your social Security brother. Oh girl, how about how about the people who want to call you fifteen times about your car? Your car? Yes, yes, I don't know what that ship is about. I don't know what that. I feel like, you know, everybody talk about COVID conspiracy. We need to figure out that conspiracy. Can y'all pull that up? Can you dock them? Can we find out way they at and shut that ship down? And they're just they're just trying to make a living. I was a telemarketer once, but I sold magazines, and I'm telling you right now, I felt like garbage. I lasted one week. I'm trying to sell this lady these magazines. She don't need and the baby crying in the background. She's like, can you hold on? And I was like, she's there, there, there there, oh honey, oh honey. And I get back to the script, you know, because we got this wildlife magazine that is out of sight. It's great for children. Yeah, they're gonna love it to that and the other I felt like crap. I was like, I'm selling this. This woman don't need this magazine. She needs a nanny, she need help, she need a nap, she need a footmas side, she needs four people ain't got time for it because they're working from home with all that stuff, right, Dore. I'm just like, you just made me think about that, like people working from home making phone call you everybody you talked to you on customer services at home talk about that. You know, y'all know what else I'm over, But I'm over keys every time I go on the damn website, just about them. Damn cookie What the fuck? I mean? What the word word? All day? Can y'all just stop with the goddamn cookies? Accept the cookies. No, I'm not accepting ship. I'm not letting you sell my ship. What is wrong with you people? This is why? Yeah, why this is literally a podcast about nothing. I wish we could get together. I wish we could get together and just have a cocktail and and maybe you know Elia and I will blaze and and Adrian can I think I wasn't. You think I wasn't. But I'm just that's what I definitely don't do his drugs. That's that's a girl I don't like. Listen. Hey, I have to listen. I have to make all my disclaimers. No, we don't have an episode. We're not talking about drugs. I'm joking, y'all. I'm just saying there's difference. I'm not talking about drugs. I yeah, I don't know why that's my go to voice when I'm like talking about drugs. Don't do drugs either. But I believe in water. And that's probably what I need to get involved with right now because I don't feel like it. I'm gonna tell you right now that is the perfect partner. And I don't feel like an attitude, which is probably why I'm not where y'all are today because I didn't feel like it yesterday. So the boy and some part of the day my body went, I don't feel like so we just So what happened because for a long time we were stuck in the house, in the house board, you know, for a long time, and we were like, I can't wait to get out, I can't wait to get back to work. I can't wait to this, that and the other. And now so many people are not working. It's gonna sound like some old uh, some rich people problems. I can't get shipped, reupholstered, get nothing mares hu supposed to be learning how to do that at home. First of all, that's what you that's the things you do. And you're a I can't stay poll a thing. I don't wanted to look bad when I when I put the fabric like I wanted to look nice. You want to talk, I want to talk. I talk. I know that is the YouTube. Maybe that would make me feel better if I go and I buy some go I'm find some upholstery, upholstery stuff. You can't get your poster. Do you know the price I gas and groceries is high? Yesterday's price. Yesterday's price is not today's. Take everybody taking advantage of it, everybody, even the coffee people. It's a coffee issue right now. I don't even know m drinking kind of coffee. Yeah, and it's the same price. And then I get it on one of them sites. You don't want to want a place that delivers it. I get it from a place it's a website that delivers it, and then um, it's cheaper on that website as well. You know, I love to save money. Did I tell you it's a thing to make me happy? I wish I could just save some money today. Are you talking about going outside? I'm over the people who are outside who didn't learn from the pandemic that you actually not supposed to stand so close to other people. Somehow they have decided that that rule is over and that now they're gonna be on my back. And I need even when you get back in touch, I need them to get back in touch with the concept the six feet all around rule. But they don't believe that it actually exists. I don't care. I'm in the airport that people are sporadic dying to tell you where to stay in the diet is right, Look at the damn floor. I'm seriously, I didn't almost have to get in the fight with people over this ship in the last couple of weeks in the airports and stuff like do you see do you see me doing how many? I think I think it's time to go back to see my therapist. Is really what it is. I think that's it. I am something that's going on. I am oh lethargic. Can't you just have a day? What? Why do can't you just have a day? I don't think it's a day. I think I gotta get something off my chest. I think I need to go and punch something a lot. You know, they have those places that you can go in and you can just tear up the little destroy rooms which I have. I'm still I'm scared of that stuff because I'm like, if you're looking like too much stuff is broken and jagged up in there. But I will say that, yeah, you know, my old lady like that looks dangerous. But still they have it in the meantime, you could go in there and just bust it up. I mean, I gotta punching bag downstairs and I'm gonna go punch something. I'm gonna go punch it. I gotta do something. Maybe that too, I don't want to see. I gotta warm my family. My nephew will do it with me. He's He's always frustrated by the world. At ten years old, he like, I don't know somebody I want to meet? You do you really do? You've seen him be for the little thing with the glasses. You've seen, You've seen him around. But he is the darkest person I've ever met. I need to hang with him today. I feel dark and agent hated, like I'm actually hot, an old dog with a new rash. That's how I feel before. I don't even know, baby, Yes, that's how I feel. Well. I'm a I'm a I'm an old dog with a lot of sweat glands. Because yesterday I was doing laundry and I said to myself, I had plans after doing laundry, so I put on, you know, just it was just a little cotton summer dress because I'm thinking, after I finished doing what I'm gonna doing, I just want to already be dressed. Okay, got clean from a dress on. It wasn't super cute, but you know, it's ready to go to the next destination. Girl. I went in there to do the laundry and suddenly sweat was pouring off my body and I was like, Lord, Lord, really, and just where I'm at in life stud that I'm this age to where I'm just doing some light laundry and and now my body is acting like I didn't ran a marathon. Is that what's happening? Now? I'm annoyed with the general state of my body attacking me, and I was annoyed. I looked crazy. I had to go get by a rag to wipe myself because I was like, I look insane right now. Let me say this. I need an assistant. Okay, I need I need an assistant in Nashville. Okay, girl, don't sup, girl, But look look what I'm saying is there you will be vetted. It's not like you're just gonna come straight to me. You there's there's interviews, the interview process. Okay, you need some references, you know, video, video references. I don't need to. I don't need you. It's not a yeah, COVID test the whole gamut, like all of the all of the ships, all of the ships. I'm but I do need somebody. I'm just gonna tell me, what about Asian story made you think about you need an assistant? Because in my mind, like she like because she said laundry and I have to do laundry, and I have to unpack my luggage to repack my luggage, and I just thought about that, like that is something else. Sometimes I just leave the clothes from the Sometimes just leave clothes from the last trip. Right now. It's not like I don't have other luggage. But for whatever reason, my kid wants that luggage. He thinks that luggage belongs to him, which doesn't doesn't, but he wants it, and he's asked me for it for like a week, and now I have to give it to him. God, just because I said I would. But I don't feel like it. Look at that right back to where we started, I don't. I just want to take a minute for the sweaters, because Asia, as you are just being welcome into this club, some of us have been having these sweating issues for a minute. And um, some of us not only swept when they get out the shower, um, and not at night. Sometimes you sweat just when you're nervous. So then motherfucker's always know what's something wrong? Ain't nothing. Ain't nothing like meeting somebody that you really are nervous about meeting, and you start to break it into sweat, and so now you must carry a fan around with you and you collect fans and people think it's cute, but it's really fun. Now. I didn't. I didn't believe like until until until I saw it firsthand, and I was like, Yo, you're all right, and I'm so sorry. And I hadn't seen you for us. I don't say yeah. I started to say, I was so happy to see you too, but she just she just she was wet. What's happen your name? And just so you know, when something going on with you, she's gonna make it known and she's gonna take her own web MD diagnosis of you. Um and that I'm so sorry, daughter. It's literally like are you are you sick? Are you feeling well? Like that again, I'll bring it up again, like when my with my ankles that are a little large and she thinks I have a demon. I'm just saying, this is just the ship that she just our friendship. Girl. Don't no, don't let me tell you about this. One time I was on vacation. This was a few years ago. It was a few years ago. I was on vacation because Joe, this ain't even you didn't do it. I was on vacation a few years ago, y'all. And I posted a picture of myself by the pool, girl's feet crossed infinity pool child. I was feeling good about my life. Girl, post a little picture. Girl, why's the world couple? Like? I'm a nurse. I think you have a demon like bitch. Who the fuck? Who asked? Did you? This is what I need to know? And while I'm on vacation. You you diagnosing me on the internet. While I'm on vacac just got off the plane. You know your peaks well off the plane. You know that that's the thing. Or she couldn't just minded her goddamn business. Oh god, I apologize to everybody. Well I didn't. I didn't read my my goddamn business and g O T d A m man, I'm so sorry. My mama was like, no, she just got her daddy ankles. Leave. Hello, that's what your mother said. Because I was because I was concerned, and I was, you know, I was ready to rub it on and she might not have said it twice. I was gonna rob him. I was like, let's sit down. I got you, and she was like, that's just my ankles, jail, And I was like, no, I've problem now, that's a beginning to get better. She's like, no, it's just my ankles. Jail. I was like, I'm sorry and didn't believe. Was like, maybe you just call your doctor. I think you said that. Maybe you'll just call your doctor. What's wrong with me? Roving your ankles? Help? I hope helps people. Oh, y'all is crazy. Jerry can do a whole show about it. We can do an episode. Nothing. I still got to go to my mother's house at some point today. I still have to go. Yeah, you should go to your mother house. That's what you got. I worked myself up for that. Responsibilities. Yeah, I know. If I don't handle this, it ain't gonna get handled. You just gotta do a little affirmation when you're over it. You gotta talk yourself into what let's get Let's get to the other side of this thing. How do how do we get to the other size? Affirm? I have a monthful, I have a mindful. In this app on my phone, I got one of how I had a little sent me one the other day that she is teaching meditations and this joint is dope. She said she said this during every day, say it okay, being grateful keeps the door open for more blessings. I have the power to create wealth and freedom with ease. My life is full of amazing opportunities that are already for me to step into. Yes, okay, all right, then we have like you have. There's so many where you know, they will tell you, like all the different kinds that you can do because you have like you can do a gratitude um meditation when you really over stuff because you just it's hard to see the things that you could be happy about. So I on my app it will have the ten minute one for gratitude for simple things, gratitude through negative experiences, gratitude for nature, gratitude, affirmation, gratitude and negative situations. So I I just tap one the things sometimes and be like, okay, what's going on with me today? That it's some meditation, it's not actually affirmation, it's and listen and listen to it. Yeah. Yeah. And then I got this thing too here check up. I called this this is my time out when people don't piss me off. Real good. I got this little time on that my home girl sent me and I just flipped that girl. Each side is ten minutes. Yeah, that's for your peace of mind, not for them to shut the funk up, but more for your peace of mind. This is my time out that I give myself, so I put myself from time off. I'll put myself from time off. My system puts it do not disturb on her door. And I like that. I don't take one of those Ye that makes sense though, Like, yeah, what they charge you for that? And it has a it's like a little um white board and it has a light inside. If she got an off of one of them sites and deliver things, deliver things and you know, show right in the bath, in the shower, being quiet, you know that kind of thing just to balance that is great. I love that idea. Yeah, I just don't feel like writing anything. I don't feel like it. You know, for those of you writing, you know, they don't give my life. Have you ever seen a little octopus where it's like a little fluffy doll and on one side the octopus is smiling, and then you flip it inside out and it looks me So you can sit it on your desk or you sit at someplace in front of so that when people approach you, they know what type of mood or what type of situation is popping off. That's kind of that is thoughtful. That is very thoughtful musically. You know who always bring me out of a good song? I don't know, just because he finding he made me feel good all the time, Anderson like Anderson made me feel like it. That was just my own Look. I actually have a playlist or my or my Spotify that's my went out to get me out of a phone. It's called what It's called w TF and I just click on my w TF and it's a one of my favorite leave me the hell alone, give Me some Time song. Her name is I had to look it up because it's one of these names, so SIS or whether you know, I don't. I don't know if you SIS or you you know, identify that. But your name is cnabo say a song called I Owe You Nothing nice more real talk after the break and I don't even like fun. This is this is a bad place to be. I'm questioning. Am I depressed because I don't feel like having fun either. I don't feel like it. I don't know. You didn't mention that you were having some physical issues of not issues, but feeling some physical changes after your preparation for your role. Yes, this might also be part of that. It's also the anticipation of going back to this crazy schedule. That's why you may not feel like it either. Yeah, I got I've got September. But somehow, in a somehow or another, um work is is kind of whittling its way into my month, and I want the month because October is gone. You know. For me, I'm scheduled to work all of October. I'll be away from home again for a month at least, And you know, I guess I also I'm like anxiety about about leaving again, Like I love home so much now, I love so I love home so much now on the people to live in it. You want to enjoyed as much as you can while you got it. Yeah, but I'm here with him, and I don't feel like it, like like something, I'm I think, I'm I think I'm a little a little depressed. I think I'm I'm gonna have to deal with this here. If you could truly control your day, what would you be doing if I could go somewhere or do something. I would go fishing. I would I would go I would go to Colorado, and I would I would trout fish fly fish, you know, just the moving water, the crispness of the water around your boot, you know, just catching the fish. That's all. It's all little excitements that I would like to do that when I guess that one, oh, I'm a little bit more of a basic bitch. I just need some more beach in my life. I think I just need some ocean water. But I got some clean ocean water. And then like saying, yeah, you know, I know a lot of people don't like saying and that's interesting because I'm such a water baby and I just I love the water, so actually, could I can respect the fishing part too, because I think I would love that. I love all kinds of water, all bodies of water. Whenever I meditate and I get to choose the background, I always choose water, whether it's rain or whether it's a bumbling brook or a river or ocean. I love water that sounds like a good time. If it was raining, I would go lay in the backyard and just get wet. I would like that it looks like it's gonna rain. I'm doing it. I'm just you know, I buying being electrocuted out there. I'm like out there like a little cute lightning riding braids. I don't want these troubles. Mumm. If this lasts for longer than today, then I'm gonna have to pay attention to it, you know what I mean? Like, look, y'all, we all do because you didn't put us on on, you know. Yeah, now we're gonna have to check channel. Yeah, yeah, I thank you for that. I thank you for that. I feel like, I don't know if this is the indication of that I have something larger going on. I think this is more of an indication of the fact that I'm starting to shift boundaries in my life, and I'm starting to shift the ways that I deal with things, And so my tolerance level for bullshit to which I don't want to be a part of a deal with is so much lower. Yeah, And so I just once I get done. There was a time where I force myself to push through. There was a time where I would just say, Okay, don't worry about it, don't show them when you're uncomfortable, don't be this, don't be that, be as agreeable as you possibly can. And that's just not a place I'm not in my life anymore, you know what, I mean, and so when I feel at this age, this is what I'm saying. When I feel discomfort, you can see it, you can feel it. And and I don't even shy away from that because I like being able to name and claim my discomfort. Hey, because then I can decide, much like what you were talking about, is this something an indication of something else, or is this just a situation. I can remity name and claiming the discomfort. I love that because I don't know what this is. I just don't feel like it. But but to be able to name what this is, I think a part of it. I'm gonna go dig into my journal a little bit when we get out of here, or um, I just the anxiety of going back to work, the anxiety about when I come back from I'm going on a little trip with my kids and my family friends. We're all meeting in the police, and I'm excited about that, very excited. But right after, like literally the day after I get home, I got like a photo shoot and I'm like, no, I wanted to eat all the things vacation. But thank you right right right, thank you, lie, thank you so much. Yeah, it's that gratitude, that thing, right there to catch you, to get you all the way right back together. Thank you so much. Gratitude. I know we talked about it, and I love the list. I just want to stay with it while because we talked about it and we left, but let's go right back to it. It was like gratitude for nature, gratitude for friendships, gratitude for for quality family, gratitude, atitude for self awareness, all of it. Gratitudes were frustrating, as it may be sometimes to be self for good good lotion, you know, good lotion, yes, but nice even melanated skin. But for fair, fair edges, you know what I mean? Fair acceptable, able to be manipulated to look better. Yet my acceptable edges, they're not acceptable and not extraordinary. But are you ready to do the pullback challenges yet? Though they're doing. Yeah, they're they're hanging in there for the good fight. They're doing. They're they're fighting the good fight. Wearing my hair down right now, just to get the less stress on the side. I pulled that. Shut up. Sorry, I guess I need to get stopped wearing my scar. You do you be pulling up a lot. But I also think I may smell like a sandwich. But not a fish one. Now, let me check no onions. Onions are are temporarily acceptable fish is get up and get in the shower now, because we take showers daily. We need yeah that soak go saks get washed around here. That is what we do because that that improves my mood also because like when that's my lone time, I'm getting the hell out of here and I'm gonna wash. And if after I wash and dry, I want to deal with you, then I shall. But if I don't and I'm time out the time and I won't. You know that that shower can wake you up and hit a reset for you real easy. That's too for the stoners too. Y'all know that I think I'm I might go ahead and try to get my little feet done, you know, little little things. I gotta fight my way out of this because it's not I'm too blessed you hear me, hear me, I'm too blessed. Like if it's truly what you think too sweet, then yes, if it's something else that you just can't put your finger on, then we still we were a little worried. But if it's what you think it is, then that may be the remedy, a little bit of pampy yourself and ease into this thing you gotta go do so chill, know, Hobbs as self doctor, You know, yeah, Well, the acceptance sometimes it's the acceptance of the whole thing, anticipation of Jackie up quick if you just if you're anticipating what what a situation will be like. Because I think sometimes if I have something coming up that I'm quote unquote not looking forward to, or that I have some anxiety about it, sometimes I have to remind myself that I don't know how that day is going to turn out. That that having to do that photo shoot or do X one zie on that day that I may not want to do it, that might be the it might be the best shoot ever. I might meet somebody amazing, something really great might happen that day, And I think, I think sometimes I have to remind myself not to pre decide what my day is gonna be like. And as easily as I can decide that it's going to be stressful, I can also decide that it's not that it's not because the whole reason that you're going through what you're going through in the first place is because you manifested it, and you wanted it right like you wanted You just didn't realize that all this other stuff came with it, because that's what it gets to a point where you don't want it no more, then you need to start asking for different things. And to to Asia's point about the language, that's why the best part about that mantra that I gave y'all, that Helen gave me to me, that's the best sentence was I have the power to create, and not the wealth part of school. But I have the power to create freedom with ease. I have the power to create freedom with You have the power to create freedom with ease. So know that, say what you want and then go you're gonna get it. You know what I'm saying. I have the power to create. When tabernacle, who has who has a tambourine? Who has a tamphone? I just got to break data very nice. Yeah, we all rock and we need we need them them. Because I don't have the language for that. I was like, what is the mother please somewhere a grandmother is please? Yes, yes, yes, So start thinking about what that looks like, Jill, and play with that. Get out your head for like, what's about to happen in the next two months, Get in your head about what's gonna happen next year, what you wanted to look like. Yeah, yeah, look, I just need you all to listen. Do not think for one moment that the journey is it's easier for anybody else. You know, if it's your human being, you know, you you got your highs and your low ups in your downs. That's everybody. Okay, don't don't forget that. So I won't forget, you know, as I'm experiencing this and trying to um and not even trying, but I'm looking at it finding solutions for it. That if you're in the same place right now you just don't feel like anything, like doing anything or trying anything, or or going anywhere. If you don't feel like anything, you're not alone, and here are some options, you know, to try to get yourself out of that. That mood. It's it's just the mood. It's okay. It doesn't own you, It doesn't own you. You're all right, baby, I'm talking to myself. You all right, you all right? You all right baby? Right, yeah, all right? You got your hands in your feet, honey, mm hmmm, it's a good life. You gotta love, okay. Somebody loves somebody love your as somebody loves your ass and you still and with all of that, you still have a right to not feel like it sometimes. Thank you so much for listening to Jay dot Il the Podcast. This episode was about nothing much. Thank you so much for spending your time talking about a little bit of this life with us. Catch you next time, peace y'all. Hi, if you have comments on something he said in this episode called eight six six, Hey Jill, if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six three nine, five, four five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents j dot Ill the Podcast. This podcast is hosted by Jill Scott, Layah st Clair and agent Graden Danceler. It's executive producers are Jill Scott, Shawn g and Brian Calhoun. It's produced by La st Clair and me Eve Jeff Cope. The editing and sound design for this episode we're done by Christina Loranger. J dot Ill is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcast from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
