Booked and Blessed

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Speaker 1: Welcome to j dot Ill, a production of I Heart Radio. Hello, Hello, everyone, welcome to j dot Ill the Podcast. I am here with my sister friends like is st Clair, who's looking lovely in pink. Yes, you like my sports bra It's lovely. Thank you as a nightgown and age a Graydon Dandler. Hello, I'm here at present and when you're little use a present. Here looks naked. This is a perfect zoom might love it. Yeah, I'm appreciating the tan lines, ma'am. Yeah, honey, I got a little brown and the sun's alling. Yeah, I'm very excited about it. You've been living life. I've been living a little bit of life, yes, and actually know a lot of life because you know as well as I know that us artists now a lot of people have been cooped up in the house, but we we uh have had nowhere to go. People were calling me, as you what you're doing. I'm doing nothing because there's nowhere for me to go. So yeah, I mean, in the last few weeks, the change between what it was like for the past year and a half until now, it's like a flood of work. And so I've gone from having zero to do to all the things to do, darling, which is a blessing and a wonderful thing. But you know, again, this year has been very trying, particularly for me, and I have been shocked to see, you know, how difficult it's been. I feel like for artists to be honest about that journey, and not just during COVID, but the overall journey of being an artist, because so much of the work we do is about image, is about what we portray out to the world, and sometimes I feel like that desire to look and appear booked and blessed, you know, as they say, you know, keeps us from being you know, authentic with people, and and and and feeds that that desire and people to other us and make us feel like we're just some sort of non humans or like everything is always perfect, or we have all this money or x Y and Z. I saw a couple of things during COVID. Some people were really like, I'm I'm sitting in the house and I'm in the house board, you know, and they were just being real authentic with that. And some people were getting dressed up every day and on Instagram doing photo shoots on almost like you know, three or four times a week trying to figure it out. I guess it's hard to um. You know, when you're accustomed to working, when you're not working, you know, it's hard to to sit down. You know a lot of people could not sit down. But a lot of people don't know if they were allowed to sit down and it was supposed to be sitting down. That's the confusion part, right, Like I am opposed to be like being really creative because we got this time. Am I supposed to be? Am? I supposed to get to sleep that I haven't had in some idears, you know. But then at the same time, I'm noticing, like I ordered a refrigerator, right, I ordered this refrigerator three three months ago, and I'm still I still have like sixteen weeks left before I get the refrigerator. Because the people that work in the factory making these fine refrigerators are not They're they're quitting. Yeah, they're quitting. People do not want to work because they've had an opportunity not to work and they found out what life can feel like and they figured out how to live minimally as well, and they're not coming to work. People are quitting left and right. They're like I'll just you know, deal with my stimulus check, and they're not in the rush to come back to some of those uh some of those uh what do you call it conditions that's going on in a lot of industries, going on in the airport in the airport industry as well. Like they're saying that, you know, they hiring TSA because ts A ain't coming to work like they was before. It's man, So now we're you know, we're in this country where everything was based off of progress and creating, um some kind of products of commercial life society where everything is basically commercial to sell this, that or the other, and now what people are not really interested in the book and blessed portion of the show. Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we bought into um well, I'll put it this way. You know, capitalism is a really powerful drug. And you know, if you don't feel like you're at the helm of that ship, like you know, obviously there's there's a little bit of a you know, a big shine on being an entrepreneur, you know, and and that part of the deal. But unless that's you know, the picture that you're trying to paint. People are just not interested in feeding the beast anymore. Yeah, but the gag, the gag is if you're working for yourself, there's also a bit of a grind culture, you know, rejection that has to happen too, because the whole how do I appear? Because people don't think that entrepreneurship is a real job. You don't think that artistry is a real job. So you have to appear like you're working all the time for people to think you actually working and that there's value to the work that you do. And I think there's been a big pushback on that, which I'm actually pretty thrilled about, because you know, I don't care. I don't care my work. I got six kids. I bees at work and what's going on. I'm at work when my eyes open work, Yeah, I don't noticed that. Have a girlfriend who um, I don't think she she's ever really set down in her life, I don't. I don't think she has. All she does is work. She's an artist, and she actually lives a couple of doors away from me, and I swear I'm taking a walk and she's hopping, you know, get in the car to go catch a flight. You know I'm bringing in my groceries and she's just coming back from a gig like she stays working. Yo. Can I say to even shout out to some of those people who even when you do go on vacation, you do take a break, you take all your work with you. I know that's a big addition of mine. Like I don't I don't remember the last time I've been some places, some beautiful places, but I'm usually taking a microphone with me. And it's funny because I really want to give some love and credits to are now former producer Eaves who kind of like remix my mind on the sense of like working for a living in your spirit, you know what I mean, and how much you need to give yourself a break. And you know we about frolick and all the time, but I think sometimes you just you know, you you we do this for a living, so you forget the lesson that you've learned in your work. And I think some of that, you know, it's it's different breakdowns as to why people don't feel like working anymore. I feel like I feel like there's maybe at least three or four categories as to why maybe you like your STEMI maybe you did it it or whatever. But one of those breakdowns I feel like, is how much of your spirit and yourself you are giving to working and what is that work about and what is it doing truly for your spirit and for others? I don't know? Yeah, And then what what is the body capable of? Because this past weekend, Yeah, because this past weekend, Fatina and I were in Chicago, and do we have to fly back from Chicago to the to New Jersey for one day and then fly back to Chicago the very next morning. And so we're time our early morning flights, late night working, and then back on an early morning flight them back home into the thick of the family situations. And it's like that used to be my life on a constant and in my twenties and my thirties, and I'm forty two now, and I ain't gonna lie to you. After one weekend back to work in the ways that I used to work. So I've been back to work for for a couple of months now, but this this was the first time that it was starting to look like it used to. And I came home and was like, I don't know if my body can do this anymore? And you know, for Tea, I have a little joke you know at the end of the video with Snoop and Dr Dreda Do Do Do Do Do Yeah next episode where he's like stumbling into the house and what looks like four o'clock in the morning at the party and all night. But see and I, you know, have a joke sometimes when we're coming home from a gig and we feel like Sloop and we'll just both God and it's like, you know, do I want to be fifties two years old doing the Snoop walk into the house. But I'm living a dream, I'm booked, I'm blast, I'm doing my thing. I'm boring my path. They're like, girl, and I don't want to say this, And I know there's gonna be some people listening who are just like, well, at least you're doing what you love. And I do know that. I do know that. But it's my body in the place where I am in this part of my life. Am I doing myself justice? Like, like Likeiah said, have I learned the lessons from these conversations that we've been having. We'll be back after the break. One of the things that I've gotten out of athletes. You know, talking to athletes is the preparation that it takes. Are people who run marathons, you know, there's you don't just jump up from you know, a pandemic after doing nothing and eating on everything that you want and then all of a sudden you jump up and then you're on somebody's stage and you know you're you're working sixteen, you know, seventeen hours or whatever the case may be, on somebody set. Either you don't do those things. You have to prepare to to work, period. No matter who you are, you don't just jump up and run a marathon. You you know, unless you're really young. If you're young, then then that those kind of things happen. But it doesn't, it doesn't necessarily happen for a lifetime. You know, You've got look at Serena Williams, you know, like incredible athlete, but you know that sometimes you just have to take a brids egche you can you can you talk about because for real world. I'm just remembering that some of this conversations them from I think I'm trying to remember it was a conversation that you and I had. But on that note of like, you know, the grass is greener because you look at Jill Scott and you go, she's she's a singer, she's got all these TV shows. But we had a conversation just about like the stresses of being like number one and self worth and what that means means on a set when you are number one and what comes. But I don't know if you I mean, you know, we can add it. So tell me if you feel comfortable talk about this. I do, because I had to learn. I definitely called some folks to find out. Tell them what that means. Number one on the on the on the call sheet. Number one on the call sheet means if you're not there, then the ship falls apart. Primarily, That's what it means. What you're saying is I'm a number one on the call sheet of my life. Yeah exactly, But on a on a on a TV show, on the on the film set, if you're number one on the call sheet, you typically you typically do work the most hours. You probably have the most face time. The responsibility is a lot bigger because when you come in you set the tone for the day for everything and everybody, including catering. You know, whoever's cleaning up. You know, you set the energy. So if you you're stinky and you've got a bad attitude, then the day is going just like that self to spiritual energy because you have to zoom out, you have to emote all of this positive energy and this. You know, let's keep going, guys, let's get it done, because you know any time after the time where you're supposed to a lot that you're allotted to do the work. You know, the union charges a lot of money and you know what I'm talking about, agent like, yeah, you know, like on stage, if you go over, it really is a thousand dollars a minute a minute, and every minute that you go over on stage is a thousand dollars. So you know, you're you're as number one. You're mindful of that. You're mindful of every actor on your set. You know, you try to make sure that everybody is welcome and feels comfortable to do the job. So yeah, you gotta do your job and know your lines and know your placements, and you know you have to also really create a lot of camaraderie every day. So it is it is um team leader. It's yeah, your team leader basically, Yeah, and it's it's easy to be severely exhausted. It's very easy. It's the same you know with the film, more television. It's you. It's up to you, New York. How this energy is gonna go, New York. It's up to you, New York. You know how the energy is gonna go. It's man. Yeah, it reminds me a little bit of the process of being um and I think you have and you can speak. You should speak to this too, or I hope you can't speak to this as well, that you're number one on the call sheet. But then also too before COVID, we're about to go on a major tour. We're on a major tour in which that same kind of energy exists in your music space as well. So you're managing that same energy and every you know, in every pocket that you that you're present. That's a lot. It is a lot. So I guess I'm you know, the deaf, and it's in a book and blessed you know, because I COVID happened, I had a couple of months which were great to catch up in life and living. But then the work showed up. It showed up in ways that I just I wasn't even looking for, but I said, what am I going to do? You know, this is an opportunity right now. You talk about the opportunity and the opportunities, honey. So you know, even with this show j Dot, il an opportunity to talk to my homies, you know, just talk about life and and and and work and moving forward and growing up, you know, because there's you know, I know you guys have heard us say this before, but it was great being the young girl listening to the elder women chat about life and love and you know, moving forward like that was just fly. And that's what we've been trying are attempting to bring to you, you know, a opportunity to hear your aunties because you know, for some of you, your aunties are twenty three, you know, so they you know, not to say that they aren't smart or that they haven't accomplished much, because there are a lot of super accomplished you know, young people these days. But there is a life experience too, you know, that is really valuable. So having the opportunity to share this um has been awesome. Then you know, here comes Mahelia, you know, huge opportunity to to lose myself as an as an actor, you know, in a character that has a lot of layers, a lot of layers, and part of my job has been to get in line with her, get in line with Mihali Jackson, and also to put on some pounds, which has not been which has not been my favorite part of this. It's not, it's not. But I have to do the best I can to represent her the way that I feel that she deserves. And then I'm writing a project for myself because I'm I have a chance to do that too. So I'm writing a project for myself, and that I have to turn my body around right after that. Yeah, so this book the Busy Business is right here. I'm a shining example because it doesn't seem like the work stops, probably because I enjoy it so much, probably because it half kills me every time. And I feel so accomplished when I'm done, when it's something that people really enjoy, I feel so good about that. And then I go to sleep for three weeks. You know, I said I was gonna ask you, let's talk about the self care crash, but let me self care first. But I want you to speak to the crash because I think everybody has the crash and then they learned of self care after having had survived. Yeah, that's kind of how it works initially. I'm still working on this part about the whole self care the whole time, because once the job starts, I'm in, you know, and nothing else matters but finishing the job. Because you have so many people relying on you, you have so many you can't get sick. You can't because what happens to the whole lighting crew and their pay, what happens to the makeup and hear what about the extras? What? What about everybody relying on you to take good care of you. I know that that touring initially, that first couple of years of touring, I banged it out. It was two years of straight, straight touring all over the country, all over the world. It was exciting and wonderful. But I didn't know that. I don't work like the roots, for instance, they just get up and do it, you know, they go from bus to to stay age. I don't. I don't have that. Like I learned by you know, getting pneumonia three times and having to be hospitalized several times because I was trying to keep up with what you know, the world was doing. This is how artists work, and maybe they still do. I don't know, but I don't do it like that anymore because I can't. I can't sustain that. But I learned that that's not who how I get there. Youth create a space sometimes where you don't really see you see yourself as being invincible and or maybe it's not that you know that you're consciously thinking of yourself as being invincible, but are know, but but you know, you are not a very different experience even though we were doing the same job. I just, you know, I had a very different experience, but the but the intensity of the work was there. But that feeling of having everyone depending on you and see another thing was like, you know, I went through multiple pregnancies throughout my or an experiencely so I never wanted to feel like I was a person holding everybody back, like, oh, we gotta stop because ages slow, We gotta stop because just this, we gotta stop because ages on X, Y and Z. And it wasn't anything that my husband said or did. He was always trying to get me to sit my ass down. But I always knew the truth is that truth underneath you know, people talk about artists being catered to in X, Y and Z, and but the truth underneath is, yeah, we're catering to you, but if you don't show up, none of us gets paid. If you don't do such as such, you we it's all depending on you. And so I knew that, and I knew that also to for my family, you know what I'm saying. And you know, we we did well for ourselves, but we were a very much functioning like a regular working class family of majority of the time. We're not talking about large amounts of money. We're talking about more money in the average family of our size, obviously because it's the music business, but we're also but we were talking about an environment where it's like very very very real life, like out of a bubble type ship, you know what I mean. And so at the time, it was like I pushed myself because I felt like I needed to, you know, and I had the body and the youth to do. It's like you're not even thinking about that. You're pushing yourself, you know what I mean. And it's fun. Your body, your body and your brain can meet you where you are and you're like poom boom, and people like, oh, but you're pregnant. I'm like, shoot, I'm twenty two years I'm twenty four years old. Like I'm good, and I was healthy, I was eating right. I was like, I'm I'm good. I enjoyed my my work. You know what I'm saying. But I think the sacrifice to do it. People just don't see everything that you do though everything. Did you ever see Ballerina's feat? Mmmmm man, right, that's I mean, all of that dedication and pain, and you know, it's because you have this this goal in mind that you want to dance this ballet, or you want to be on the cover of this thing, or you want to be respected amongst your peers like you, you put in the work for what you want. Uh. But it seems like that's that's that mindset is changing, and it seems like there's a new generation. It's like it's gonna be interesting because you're right, it's so much discipline and that and with defeat thing. But I just thought this new generation is like, yeah, but I'm still gonna take care of me first. I'm not gonna let that thing take me out. Though I wish I had that mindset at that time. Usually I don't, but I don't know if I do, because I don't know if I would have. That's the thing, right, Like I wish I did in a sense of self worth and appreciating myself. But then I'm like, would I be where I am? And here's the here's the question. Let's look at let's look at a megala star like Beyonce the cod I personally think that she is the hardest working woman in any industry anywhere. Okay, so had she not had that work ethic, right, she wouldn't be Beyonce. Yeah. But but here's the thing. I'm not all the way sure if all of us, I mean, we see the accoutre mall of being Beyonce, But does does anyone really want to be Beyonce for real? One of it? Right? I mean, because she's in the mind state, she probably don't never let that go, like you always think you gotta work hard, heart, even when she's dead. I mean, we all want to be Beyonce, but do we really want to be I mean, I think, yeah, that is filled, that gig is filled. And I don't know, I mean, we'll think about Michael Jackson, like you know, that was a lot of work. You put in a lot of work. My god, you know, I mean print they sacrifice their bodies. That's what I'm saying, Like you sacrifice your body, like Prince was like, no, I'm away these hills regardless of how this hip is feeling, because this is I'm giving y'all everything everything, and I'm but that that's a part of you know, this gig too. There's a lot of selflessness in the entertainment industry in general. There's a lot of that. You know, Look, I know that I'm very happy to have the jobs that I have, but I'm also happier to know what I can do and what I can't. And I've had to turn down some things, some really great things, because I was like, that is not that's not reasonable. I can't do that. I would love to do that, but there is no way. You know, when when one job is done and I've been going from home for five months, you know my family is visiting me. When it's over, I'm pretty much completed. Did you know. I'm pretty depleted and I need to recharge and refuel. And that that doesn't necessarily come with being on an island somewhere. It comes with being home and taking out the trash. Yeah, and cleaning my own dog on bathtub. And you know, just see what my son is talking about in his face, just watching him do stuff, you know, just being home. That of my own life. So I don't forget who I am, and I don't feel that what matters, because that's that happens. Oh. I just said to somebody the other day, I need to rush home from this gig. I need to get on the airplane because I want to go home and go grocery shopping. Yeah, like I just want to. I want to have groceries in my house. I just listen that I said over and over again, and I think probably owes me some money. But I'll say it again. That moment when I could put my my ear buzz in and listen to some awesome music while I'm in tar j for I got it so always my coffee, oh am, I my little peace of mind, oh everything. I feel so much better. I can't even explain it. I got a bunch of ship in my card that I don't need, don't you know that I don't need? But I all this honey pot. Yeah, but I enjoyed the rat by the girl that little tango girl, that little tangle, it's all the things. Nobody, but I was here for it. You know, tell me, I know this is better than the Dr Bonner tag. So it's cool. Go ahead. My daughters were like, Mom, do you know that these that these have a little I said, I do. Now, Hello, good day, Hello. If you don't know what honey pot is, it is a feminine wash that it's supposed to balance your pH and it's a nice time. I tell you nice. It's nice and and it's and it's and it's a black woman owned as well. There's that part, honey. But yeah, I I get off. My kids know what my routine is, and this has been forever. I come home off the road and the first thing I do is clean. Well, first I cussed everybody out, not real customers, but I go off about whatever is either, whatever's broken, whatever was not done, what I what I called and said do? I go off and then I clean and it's like immediately like I don't even sit down. I come in the house, like even today I got home from Chicago today, first thing I did was sweep my bedroom, sweep the bathroom, sweep the steps, go off and then I have to do. Yeah, I mean, but you know it's fine because, like I said, it makes me feel like a normal person. And it also makes me feel like I'm back in control of my life and I'm that and I'm I'm back, you know, creating the space that I feel responsible for, and that makes me feel at peace, you know, and there's no amount of work outside this house that can actually replace that. And I think that, you know, it does a thing on the psyche when you're in this particular business. When you're not able to do that, you can't reconnect with the with home, and you can't reconnect with family, and you can't reconnect with your own rhythm. Then that's how we start getting out of whack. That's when you start really seeing artists in particular lose their damn minds because they don't have nothing to tell them, they don't have anything to to anchor to, and that can in the beginning of the COVID some artists you know on Instagram kind of looking like they lose them Yeah, because a lot of people were losing it though, you know, just being stuck at home, not knowing what to do, being a part of the grind culture in their face. Right, what do I you now? Who am I without all of this? Did you just say for the adoration? Adoration said the word. This is my first time in j L history. I think I'm think thank you for bringing attention to that agent really back, really back say the game, I said, I said, adoration, That's what I said. I said that seriously, because that right there is a drug. Yeah, that is a drug, and it will have people thinking they are something and someone that they are not tough, not what. And I'm like, I can't take it, but I want to speak to something really quick though. And you talked about being the being number one on the call sheet, and that the ideal of, like I said, having this responsibility that comes along with your work. Let's talk about like being independent and how that's been. That's been a romantic size. And also you know, as you boo, that's you making the T shirts. That's you designing the shirt, that's you put them in a box, that selling them all, that's you pressing up stuff. That's you. That's all you loos a minute, that's all you playing the thing, calling the people skate party, starting the air listen, am providing entertainment. While after you've done all the others are like, girl that's in that school, right and I got six kids? How do it? That's why I feel like you are you know, you're one of those people that I would put a I would put a cape on you, hunt, I would, I mean heavy, I don't. You're a human being. I know what you're flesh and blood, that you're a woman, that you have concerns that are deep, you have thoughts that they need airing, you know, because you're a friend. Okay, I know that I look at everybody the same way. I don't think that Beyonce doesn't henita friend you know, and have them, you know, I don't. I don't think that she doesn't have to take a walk sometimes, you know, connect with herself. That's the problem. You know. I got the whole thing with being on pedestals, Like it's just that's the problem, but it's also a lot of people's desire and goal to be placed on that pedestal. Yes, wait, wait, wait, do we have another one? Ding ding? I just think they're dangerous. I think dangerous. We'll be right back. I gotta take this moment to be transparent, like, yes, things that y'all said about me. Those things are true because that's my life. But I miss a lot of themes, you know, I miss a lot of just it's the reality of things. I'm gonna there are things are gonna slip through the cracks, you know what I'm saying. Like my house. I mean like my house. There there's there's paint peeling, there's you know, I might not get to the laundry, i might not get social such a you know, if I'm working, I gotta put off fifteen other things in order to get these other disting done. I'm prioritizing. I'm prioritizing, but I'm also it's hard to prioritize when everything is a priority. Saying again, wait, say what, say it again? It's hard to prioritize when everything is a priority. Yes, please believe when you see me doing something, there's something else of equal importance that's not getting done. And I have to say that because I look at myself often and I'm always trying to reconcile the things and the ways I need to be an appreciation of myself and and look at myself as to be like y'all know that that me more TikTok, like you're doing a good job, doing a good job. I mean, my life is always somewhere between bit you're doing a good job and since get yourself together. I thought I was gonna watch clothes, but then I thought why, right, I was going to fool close, But then I thought why it's between there somewhere in between absolutely and and trying to be successful at your work. Because really, at the end of the day, this becomes the thing that validates all of it. And people don't talk about that the work and what you have done in your work, and that's always the thing that people come for. Like in the Internet, it's like if you say something that people don't like, well, that's why you ain't got no grammy. But that's why you just are so and so. But that's why it's such and such as better than you. That's why you ain't got no money. This is why. And this is not just for artists, this is just a regular people. It's like people are gonna come for what they can outwardly see in terms of what you have done financially in your work, in your life, and then come for your neck. That's your personal life is so important, vital, it's so important the first time, and I believe the only time. I cannot think of any other time that I got called nigger. I had just finished dancing with Prints till four in the morning, and it just tickled me. It just it just tickled me because here these young people coming out of the club and the comment was, get back, nigga, stepped back, nigga, and they all laughed. No, there was you know, I was just standing out there by myself looking up at the stars, like, did I really just danced with printsto four in the morning? This is my life. I probably I don't know. I think I probably told you guys this story only, but you know, I didn't know not what is this? The young blacks comment come out the you know, they were white. They they all looked like they had just finished their Ambercrombie and Finch photo shoot. I love that. You can't even because I don't wear that ship. I ain't got no colors great pale, pink, army green and navy amble who be in hobby. Well, anyway, they all, you know, came out of the club and they said, stepped back, nigga, Get back nigga, and I I said, and they laughed and that's what made me know that they were talking to me. Nobody else was out there at the front of the Roosevelt Hotel in l A. And I said, excuse me, and they laughed again. Ha ha, what a wonderful night that they've had. And they're laughing again. And and then I said, Okay, maybe I'm just being you know, maybe that's a song I don't know, you know, chill, I had such a wonderful evil and the guy says, shut your mouth when a white man is speaking. And then I knew that they were talking to me. But because I had had this wonderful evening, because one of my dreams literally just happened, you know, I started to laugh. It was hilarious to me that you're being this, you're being distress. You don't know me from Adam, and you're you're being so disrespect while I laughed, and then I followed them laughing, and I continue to to follow them laughing, and they started speeding up and I laughed more. I laughed so much the tears was coming out of my eyes. I laughed so hard. I was in a cipher with Stevie, wondering prints in my dressing room. Fuck you. You have no idea where I've been and what I've done, and the diabolical it was diable girl. I like that. I'm gonna go with that and use that running. They started running to their car, which tickled me even more. So I was laughing at them with tears running down my eyes. That's how funny it was. It was. It was ridiculous that that they would spend their time to call me out of my name, not understanding who I am, and and and at any part of it. And then Alexis, my assistant and dear friend, pulled up in that nasty Mercedes that we and rented while we were there, and I watched all of them get into whatever that was, some kind of hunda hin day, whatever that was. But I watched all of them, you know, the three couples packed themselves in this car, and I got in my car and I rolled down the window and I laughed at them more. It was such a pleasure. It was such a pleasure. It's that balance, yo, It's the knowing. You know, you can't you can't destroy me, you can't belittle me, because my life is juicy and sweet. It it freaking drips down my arm but yeah, that damn Jill Scotten her food references. I swear always go back to that. It has to. It has to because juicy and sweet life and the best that is having a family that I love that loved me in return. COVID definitely gave me some space to get rid of some folks that that don't love me right, like you gotta go, you know. Look, yeah, I'm definitely one of those people who will allow you to hang out way longer than you should. We're all really lucky, you know, to be able to to work, to get jobs, and we actually like to do you know. That's what's up. It's just the balancing of it all. Because if you're just working and you're not living, then you're not living here. Yeah, because I'm like, we are so blessed. I wish people understood that like this blessing came with a journey, a lot of trauma. Like this blessing I'm in with these three podcasts came with the three years of living on a girl's couch. So yeah, don't see, I'm not in it like that. But every time I saw you, every time we spoke, you never felt heavy or burdened or troubled or and it's not. Yeah, I don't recall that. Maybe you were holding onto that for a later time, but I always saw you as um, somebody really really loved like you know. We we always talked about the way her parents love her, you know, and your friendships. You know. I never saw that's because I also value the acknowledge energy. You know, I just text a movie fresh today in the sense of saying to her like, I was really listening to this episode that we did, and I just appreciate your energy, and I appreciate the energy that it takes to give off that energy. So the energy, Yes, I want to show ingratitude. I would just I want to be a part of your replenishment because I understand personally that I never, like Jill, I try hard not to give people a heavy energy because people give me heavy energy, and I know what that feels like. So yeah, a lot of times, especially depending on where I'm seeing you, if you want to work situation or something like that, I ain't about to drop no ship on what the real deal is because I and I also know that I'm goes back to that book and blessed thing because I am blessed because I do have that love from my parents. I do have this couch to sleep on thanks to my whole relationships with Philly. And I'm not even gonna get into that, but like, because I'm steadily being and blessed, and I know that that point that I'm in is not going to stay that way because I just know, because I love heart and I just know, I know. I just feel like at this point I can say what I deserve, I think, and you need to hit your forties. You're like, I know I deserve more than this couch. And I know God see me. You know what I'm saying. I know God sees me. Hello, you you want a road today like you on the road today on today. I cannot let the episode go by without giving this little perspective. Get it for the black folks, right, I know? Said right? I said for the black folks. I know that right now that we are hearing a lot of energy around black excellence and business and being out there and really like grinding hard and doing the things and generational wealth and all of these different things. I do want us as a group of people to keep in mind that some of the things that we are not receiving from the society that we live in will not be fixed by our abilities to work ourselves to death for anything, whether it be something that we created or something that someone else created, that we our bodies have been on the line from the very beginning, and that I encourage as not to just hand our bodies over in the name of righting some wrong that wasn't our original sin to begin with. You want to build something building, but if you want generational wealth, if you want all the answers to these problems and issues, we're gonna have to fix and and that somebody's gonna have to atone that's not on us. And I want us to remember that even as we go out and we innovate and create and work and do the work that we feel like we need to do, just know that there are some people who a hundred years ago had wealth and because of this foul country and the way that it's been built, that their families lost it. Anyway, I want to shout out to the family who started their own beach in California and their families are just now and and that that's Bruce's Beach, that family that had that that property taken from them by eminent domain and they are just now as a family receiving that that property back. I just want to say that because they were successful, they had built the wealth, they had bought the land. But the country is kped, the society is kped. So I want to say that so that we don't lose. So we do not lose, you know, site of what we're dealing with here, So preserve the preserve the family, preserve those things because that has been the wealth that has kept us here. Yeah, and can we just say to to us I just got I mean, I feel like in this COVID year and on jd Ill, like we highly encourage a little frolic Like we highly encourage black people frolic in because we discovered that like this is not something that we're used to doing. And I just want to say in COVID, I feel like, uh, some black people have gotten the message and we're on our bicycles more. And he guess who bron skates back? You know what I'm saying. You know what I mean, Like skates are selling out across the country because we are figuring out that it's more to this life than just work. All this work, all this work, all this work. So many black people on bicycles this weekend. It made me so happy, y'all. I was just shouting out to him like I see you you got and listen to me. Black people got they fool bike and outfits on some of them is doing that racist thing and end them and they just going real fast and then you know the outfits and some others just it's that families and everybody's got a bike. And I'm just like, okay, y'all, we we we we get, we get were getting there were siating present. Okay, good because black folks, you know, would be about that work, getting it done. Gotta work, gotta hustle, gotta get it, gotta get it, hustle hard. And the blessing is work for sure, being able to provide for your family and live some life and do some stuff that's fun, like riding a bike or going to a beach or you know, whatever it is that you like to do. Maybe some of you are big foodies, you know, having experiences with fine you know, cuisine, all of those things. You know, that's wonderful. Oh yeah, having the time to do that kind of stuff. If you're only working, be mindful friends. If all that you're doing is is just working, then it's it's a blessing to have the work. But it's not necessarily a blessed situation if you're not feeling joy, if you're not happy to get up and go and do the thing, even though it's hard, even though you're tired, even though you know something has frustrated you. If you're not happy to do the work, then you're working. It's not a blessing. You're just working. Mm. Now that part is up to you how you change that narrative for your life, you know. General reminder, we only get one. Thank you so much for listening to Jay dot Illo podcast. Thank you so so so much. We are booked and blessed out here piece y'all. Hi, if you have comments on something we said in this episode called eight six six, Hey Jill, if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six four three nine five four five by don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot il the Podcast. This podcast is hosted by Jill Scott, Laiah st Clair, and agent Graden Danceler. It's executive producers are Jill Scott, Shawn g and Brian Calhoun. It's produced by Layah st Clair and me Eves Jeff Cope. The editing and sound design for this episode we're done by Christina Larenger. J dot Ill is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcast from I heart Radio, visit an I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.