A Cocktail of Prejudice Juice

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot Ill, a production of I Heart Radio. Hi, this is Jill Scott and you are listening to Jay dot Il the podcast. Uh huh. And I'm here with my sister friends Laiah Saint Clair. Yet that's a studid damn sorry an agent agent. Agent. That's a nice name. Somebody you. I bet you, somebody's gonna be like, that's my son. Agent. That's nice. Asian grad and danger agent Agan Gravy. Do you do you like a filter? Yo? Like it's like my mom my mom my mom says perfect. Oh, that's just perfect. Agent. I don't know, I'm getting old. What you're gonna do? I love it though. I love when people say stuff wrong. It's somebody says beautiful. Oh, I like stomach. No. No. One of my favorites from going up in d C was crowned crown Crow. Okay okay o Orange, that terrible joke about the lady who had twins and she ate Jello her whole pregnancy, Lemon Jello and ran Jello and lemona what the that's that's over love that joke Lemon Jello and ran Jello. That's so cute. That's cute because I can see it. That's calling the roll in class. It's not orange, it's orange ran yes and Lamnengelo like that. I love when black folks make up names. This is my favorite thing in the world. I was I was going to try to do some work in creating a registry for made up black names, because I think it's a way that we resist, that we decide to come up with our own cultural names. And I think it is a beautiful thing actually, and we should start. Listen, that's an existing name. I'm talking more about stuff that people just make but I'll go with it, lexus. But I feel like we should definitely come up with actual meanings for the made of Like I'm gonna name my next baby because I'm you know, I'm old enough to still have baby, So I'm gonna have a I'm gonna have a daughter and her name is gonna meet Jore Mako faster yep, yeah, my singer. I'm gonna be like every time I see and be like in the morning, Oh, is that what you're doing? What sho? I don't know. Johnny Mirko Fossila, that's her name's yeah, without a last name, with nothing, that's just Jey Mirko fossil. What does that mean anyway you? Oh, Jah means God, ray is king or light. Jerey may to me me me in the in the dictionary means to me jerey may Cole means with fi is the fourth note on the diatonic scale. Four is my favorite number that I've been following four forever. Jemico file so means to such an extent. Did you know that soul means such to such an extent? Yeah? So all it is king to me with the fourth note of the diactonic scale to such a degree that I exult ship. That's what it means. And that's some straight that's some straight Negro singing that song like I'm singing a different language. Job that'll teacher South African. It's pretty, and it's pretty in a concert when everybody sinks it shed it. I can imagine how it feels when you have a name that your mom made up and it's like a mixture of stuff. You know, um, shouldn't he quitte? You know, I don't know, like I don't know. It's it's a lot of different names, and it's they're also creative. I can imagine when you're in school and having some you know, some Caucasian teacher calling your name, like what that feels like every time? Every day? And can we just call you? Can we just call you Lucy? Can we just call you? What? Can we go? Do you have a nickname? Can we just call you something else? Or how about they don't even ask you, They just decide what it says and then call you that forever and ever. Yeah, Hi, Asia Agent, Hi, Yeah, because it's got to be something else that can't be this difficult for me to say to two syllables. I say all the time, two syllables, three letters, like it's in the first letter of thealth of that you got that from the first first Jealous of you because I do wish I had another syllable, Yeah, I mean like both my names are like yeah, I'm like I couldn't get it. I couldn't get another syllable out here. Yeah. So so you know, growing up it's Jill scott Man, and you know, I go to my job interviews and I was not what they expected at all at all. And there has definitely been a few times I'm going to say, I'm going to say maybe about three three times when I was told that the job was filled when you got there, when I got there, because they saw the name and they thought they thought I was somebody else, and I didn't caught three buses to get here. I'm trying to finish school. I need this job to chump ass job that I get here, and I'm not. I'm not what you thought. So the job has been filled. Like a Renee scot to me, Yeah, you know it's that not a Renee scot five. What do you do when when you experience just overt racist him? Girl, don't ask me, because my body physically reacted before my mind did racism or prejudice, because that's you know it was racism because you know that was there was a job. You know that's stopping my growth, you know right, you're in control of my my my future endeavors here, So that would be racism with a cocktail of prejudice juice, right, a cocktailer of prejudice juice. What I would say is an an eye opening moment for me was what I realized when I was really became aware that a system was like in place blocking me. And you guys would be really surprised to know when that was because it wasn't that long ago. It was when I was purchasing my house, and that was my first time understanding about predatory loans, and that was my first time understanding that black people were being specifically targeted for them. And then when I looked at my interest rate and I just happened to have a friend who I could compare it to a white friend, and I found out so much stuff that was that ended up going taking me down a rabbit. And even to this day, I look at this house with disdain sometimes because of that, because I took it in because I know it's harder for me to keep up with it than it is for people who live on my block. Damn, I know that for a fact. Yeah can you refunding? And yeah I can't, and we have, we had two under that first procession. But my point is that it was the first time that I really was like honed in on. Like I know that sounds crazy because obviously have been through the school system, I've been through a lot of different systems, you know what I'm saying, But it was like that moment where I was like, Wow, just being black and showing up to purchase a piece of property puts me in the line of fire and where they're gonna I'm gonna get shut down. I can lose my house quicker, I can be house poor quicker, all of these different things. What happened to me, and that that kind of it blew me away, It really did. It blew me away. And to this day, like I said, sometimes I just walk my neighborhood and that bitterness I still feel it because even in my neighborhood, some of the people here have tax abatements because of our proximity to a university, and they wanted certain folks to come into community to populate it. So that's when you get your tax breaks, right, and so I have my tax bill, but they don't. And it's like I literally I never forget what that's literally walking around looking at the houses like I want, I wonder which one of your mother the housing industries, the history of the It's funny. I know, we just not our favorite movie, but just a glimpse was given to me, even more so in them in a sense of red lining and with Incompton and you know what I mean, in the mortgage situation that they went to not understand that they really don't own this house, like yep, the housing situation. Has black people screwed up money? Well, that is one of my favorite movies. I don't know about everybody else, but I love them. I could probably, I could probably, I could probably start over and watch that ship again. Oh yeah, I mean there was an education at the very least about that about you know, for sure, gentrification in towns and how things change. And it's funny. I was thinking, as y'all were talking, I was like, well, Jill said, over racism. I literally just went to the first time I was calling nigger. But then I was like, huh when you when you started talking Asian made me think back to education and how I was two years ahead as a young person, like I started preschool early, and I skipped a grade and and in my private school, my private elementary school and Neil Road and so when my mom went to go look at other schools when I finished elementary school and I was going to look at like high schools. I remember this because she was she was interested, she knew I was. I was like, maybe I want to go to boarding school, maybe I want to go to National Cathedral or something like that. And none of those schools wanted to respect the fact that they couldn't believe that I was smart enough to go to the grade. Like everybody wanted to put me back, and she was like, no, she's done the work. This is high school now, like that that happened years ago. Like but because so for that reason, that's why I took my butt to black ass smart as Bannocker Benjamin Bannocker. My tribe was school in the city, Hello and all. My racism over racism was always in my early education years. Like I'm really thinking about that. I'm thinking about the first time we were assigned an elementary school to bring a biography. I think I told you that to bring a biography to my elementary school class. And my white teacher got mad because my mom gave me Malcolm X. And my mom had to come up there and almost beat her ass to say, it's say autobiography, what's the problem girl. It's like with your mind as a child, you know, your process, some of these things taking this stuff along, you know, along the ride with you. And this has been fascinating to me to see the culmination of experiences that we all have and how it makes us look at raise, how it makes us talk about it. But you know, when when you said over racism, also thought about personal experiences to like in terms of one on one with people. And I have to say one time that I did get really like in my face with someone who was overtly racist. I thought in my mind that I would be quicker, but I felt like frozen, like because it took me a second to even process, like, wait a minute, hold up, you said what like you did? What went? Hold on? Give me a second, you know what I mean? And my heart started popatating. It was a couple of times. The first time somebody called me nigger was at a party, and the second time this isn't this this is another time that pops out in my mind. I've had several. This is party that popped up in my mind was I was at an amusement part from my kids and they were playing a game, one of those carnival games, and the game malfunctioned, but we all who were playing it could see that it did. And it said that this white woman who was playing the game with my children, it said that she won, but she did it like we all could see that she didn't win, and she actually tried to claim the prize from children. And I was like and for something, that she's just a trash individual. Okay, But then when I tried to tell the guy who worked there that you know what happened, she basically said I was a liar. And then when the manager came over, she just pulled the whole woman tears thing and was like and I And I was like, oh my god, like I wasn't shock. I couldn't believe it. And then the manager, mind you, when he came over immediately without even knowing who was who or was the story, he immediately spoke to her, and I was just in shock. Now, mind you, thirty seconds later after after we processed, after we processed, it was a little it went it went a little different. But my children told me later that, you know, and I definitely set it off, but my children actually told me later that they were upset that I did. And I said, well why, and they were like, I went from they were like, we went from feeling like okay, that's mom, to that maybe we might be in danger mm hmmm. And I thought they were like, what if they called the police on you? And I didn't even yeah, and I didn't even think about that. The kids were like, well, what if they had called the police. My son actually kind of let me have it a little bit. He was a teenagery person at that point in his life, and he was like, Mom, what if they would have called the police on you? What if the police would have shot you? In front of my sisters and brothers? In Jesus, he was like, over stuff toy. Also power the white woman tears, because the weaponization of the white women tears crazy, that's crazy, because that all that could have happened based on some tears, all some funding tears. And I felt so upset. I never calmed down. Mind you can that. I tell you how they solved it. They gave they gave both of us a stuff toy. That's how they solved it. Instead of saying it was a malfunction. It was never resolved in my spirit, and I still felt like ship when I got in the car, and I just I felt violent, like I wanted to turn the whole ship over. And I think my kid really recognized that I was about to go over the edge, and he was just like, Mom, no, no, I just want to be clear about the difference between prejudice and racism. Prejudice is when you have a defined opinion about someone based on what they look like, or their gender, or or sexuality, or or religion. And racism is when you have the power to control what happens, like getting a mortgage or buying a car, or what school they can get into, or what job they can get and those kinds of things. Yeah, I just I just wanted to be really specific because sometimes you know, I'll notice things. I'll notice people are prejudiced. Um, I'm here, like I said, I'm in Tennessee, so I'll notice their prejudice. And I don't know why they just don't it tickles me. It just I don't. It shouldn't, but it does. And I feel such any for them, like you have no idea. You have no idea, have no clue. The kindness is that I've I've been able to show and share like you have no ide want to. I just want to know. Just like always when I was in Nashville, I thought white people was being overly nice to me. You tell me what you just tell me, like what you experienced. They're like at least once. Well, one thing that I've discovered is that they're not friendly. It all appears friendly because it's the South what they are is polite. Okay, there's a difference. So it's it's what can I do for your girl? You know, it's that which tickles me one because I'm I'm forty nine years old. You know, even when I have braids, I typically don't get baby hair. Ain't no baby hair on my body. Ain't nothing girl about this? Okay, so yeah, baby, so I I don't even you know, it tickles me that you would say honey or deer or or but pumpkin to everybody, to everybody else that's been around me. But when you get to me, I'm girl, which is like, oh, you know, so that tickles me. It just does. So I love called a girl before. That's that's kind of ill. It's ill. So I tune to look around and um say who me, Oh you're so sweet. I haven't been a girl in a very long time. Most people call me ms or ma'am. You can go with either one of those. Honey, you know, like that's what like, you have no idea, You have no idea the terrain I've crossed to be here right here, in this store, right now, or in this bank. Well, you're not gonna do that. You're not gonna do that, and I need this, and and my my goal is to make you feel very very dumb for even trying it. That's what I do with with like prejudice. Um, you know, they'll they'll I like to catch uber's, particularly late nights because people, well the ubers, they asked me if I'm getting off of work when they're picking me up from my house, you know, that kind of thing that happens quite often. Are you just getting off for work? What doesn't don't look like it doesn't look like an office building? You know, it doesn't look like my home doesn't look like office building, so what you know, I'm not getting off for works. And the sad thing is I can see a black person or person ask you that in Nashville. Okay, but but I could see, I could see. But that is that is prejudice. That is making a decision or an assumption because I'm not dressed up or I'm you know, in an uber. You know, so you must you must be getting off of work. That must be you know what it is. But with racism, it's it's getting that except actionally high interest rate, you know, on a whatever. It's it's stopping you from moving in a way that you you know, you could, you know it's stopping. When somebody call you a nigga, that's prejudice, not racism, because they necessarily be in a position of power. Because they're not in a position of power. That's just being prejudiced. Yeah, you've you've made it. And also yeah, that's that's it's prejudice. I just think also too, that people you your assumption about people who are willing to weaponize the word nigga. There you you you kind of in your mind you're like, oh, well, you're that person if it doesn't higher, You're that person who doesn't spend their money in certain places. You're that person you you're taking that if you are, if you have that kind of boldness about you to have a personal interaction with me, then best believe you are carrying around that energy everywhere that you that's not both this week, it's so weak you can't even come up with anything clever. So you're gonna try your best to hit below the belt or what you think is below the belt, in order to hurt me, or you think that's what that's gonna hurt me. Don't you feel like lately I feel like some of these videos, these viral videos that go on, we're seeing white people acting the full certain black folks. I just want to give them their flowers for their discipline and they're calm. The situation that happened in New Jersey with the brother with the ball with white dude in the neighborhood calling him all kind of monkey, nigga da da da da, and my man, just, I mean man, because I didn't do that. And and I just I just stopped the car and jumped out the car and just try to put the thing. But I'm learning from these viral videos because we must show how week they weak. They look when they think, yeah, it's it's how weak you really are to do that. But they might pick they might catch the wrong one, you know what I mean, Like and they and they and that's not quote on tape. They have caught the wrong one several times. Even as some of these videos, I mean, the girls Victoria's secret, she was too did good. She did real good. God, she did real good. But I think I think what happens that with these videos, now we are all having like the same experience, even though we weren't the person in the video. But I feel like we're this is one of those times in history will look back and think wow, as a population, we experienced this one on one racism and ways and then affected us in similar ways as if the person has said it to us. You know what I mean. That's too. But we're also and I told you I feel like when I told you all Era, like all these videos is like to these white people and others who don't know, like we've been telling you this is how y'all act. This ain't goings. See yourself, look at yourself. And we've given it names. You know, Karen Air, Bigail, you know the white man they mean Kevin Kevin. I know a lot of black Kevin. I don't know. Oh, Chad Rusty, Rusty Rusty, that's a whole He lived in a certain place. He got a Confederate flag outside on the rusty Rusty over there. We'll be back after the break. You guys know something too that I've noticed, and I know, I don't know if you guys have noticed this. And maybe a Nashville though, because it sounds like a Nashville problem, because I see it here in Philly. There are these pickup trucks right and so you know, black people have all kinds of racist dog whistles. Like when we see white people driving the pickup truck, we immediately that's one flag. Then it's like the it's the it's the it's the pickup truck. And then there's the the flag on the pickup truck that's stuck in the back of the pickle. You see that a lot on your way to see the right, the flagsberg. You see a lot of that. And then this is this new thing that I noticed too, is that these men Jake Willie, white men, like I said, only seen white men with them. They have these little silver balls testicles, balls hanging from the back of the truck. Yes, they hang from the back of the truck. Has Yeah, like the truck has balls back. Yes, I have like I have balls of steels. It's like, oh, I was like, oh see is this a combo. And then my son it's like he's my son said, this is the this is the ice and on the cake. When they have the white man in the pickup truck with the with the balls and the flag right and he has those mirror sunglasses, yeah, it's like it's a it's a uniform. And can I say this, it makes me nervous and and and I don't want to. You know, you look in Philadelphia, you have every right because we've see what white people can do in Philly when they get together. Baby, listen, you know Tennessee is you don't have to have a license to carry a gun. Now, yeah, you don't have to have a license. So, um, you know, if you're feeling uncomfortable, Jill, I don't know how you do this. You ain't gotta have no license, you ain't gotta have no vaccination like these white people just don't crazy. I don't know how I'm gonna pray. I pray for you every day. Thank you, every day, thank you, thank you. I look, well, shoot and Philly, they just had straight up weapons down there protecting dad go on statue Philly like about the patrolling patrolling the streets, like, I'm sorry, I feel like that's just as damn dangerous Pennsylvanian. They got the same law that Florida US too. When it comes to us. I'm sorry, it's the law of stranger ground ground. So how are we responding? Now? I don't watch the videos anymore? Is that bad? I can't do it well? So you didn't know what I was talking about when I said the guy in Jersey, I do heard about that. I'm just saying I don't watch the full videos. Like it's social media. You're gonna get the story later anyway, but I don't watch. I quit watching the videos years ago. I did not watch George Floyd understanding. Yeah, I've never seen the full video that that was absolutely racism. Oh girl, that's murder. Oh yeah, because because the police officer who is robbing someone of their liberty and life for something minor, some minor fracts, you know, like it's tiny, what what what? But it's just so interest such an interesting time because I'm like, even with this whole tears thing with white women saying it out loud, that it's being weaponized and this is it's it's semi progress in a way. I know it's feels weird to say, but this has been happening forever, and these are things that we weren't talking about and bringing attention to. So it feels moud. It's weird. It feels moldy like progress because we are able to video these things and show them themselves. So I think that's how we're handling the agent. That's okay if you can't handle watching the video, because it ain't for you, you know, what's that going on on in these streets. But these other people who live in this country and like, this is the greatest country every Why could you have any It's no problem, just nothing. But that's how we're I love that we're fighting back in that way. Like it's kind of intellectual. I love no, I like it. I like I like the idea that we're saying, not only are we gonna video tape, but like I said, that brother in Jersey where he was like pull up and and black folks was like, oh, pull up, we just did you just did? You just dock your own self? No problem, pull up, no problem. Let's let's let's let's roll out, and let's keep it from that was the white people in that crowd to that was pulling up for the same reason that the black people having that non neighborhood. And that's the one. I just really do love that about this generation that they're really But I love it. Enough is enough already. You can't you can't go around being homophobic and hateful. You can't go around being you know, racist and trying to cut somebody off at the at the knees. You can't do list anymore. It's over, it's over. I appreciate that. Yeah, I mean, I agree with you because to an extent is helping us to deal with that, that interpersonal racism that everybody has a hard time like dealing like like we have we we we will stay there. And it's good that this is the opportunity to share light on that. But on the on the are in things like with what happened was George Floyd and then here recently what happened with the sister that um from ESPN where they caught they caught somebody talking shit about a white girl talking. I don't know these people's names because I don't even watch that, But how this affects people's jobs, their opportunities, How secret conversations in those places can affect how we move forward and how our careers move forward, conversations that we don't even know are happenings. You know what I'm saying, And that that kind of transparency and accountability is important, you know what I'm saying. And we are gonna benefit, our kids are gonna benefit from it. But you know, I do think that there's a certain trust level we're gonna have to have with the work that's already been done, because I think that's one thing that we have to realize that people have been fighting against this thing without any cameras mhm for a long time, and so they know they know what needs to happen next that plausible for just so long. You know, you know, you needed with some other somebody else to you know, confirm or to you know, to say, hey, that didn't happen. That's not how I went. All you need is with somebody around to just lie. I love how we're seeing this on TV now. I mean, we we all heard about those conference calls that networks were having with their employees about having prefer change things and stuff. We all heard about the ABC call when my man, Michael straight Haan was like, I'm gonna need me some more black producers. So we talked about this. We talked about what's going on with George story and everything. But let's talk about progress. And and I'm looking on my TV and I see it. I see I see these young reporters. I see these young pieces, these stories that I wouldn't have seen like two years ago on things and I'm like, well we talk about that on TV to the white folks in the morning, Like I I see some things and it should be acknowledged. Young people that are listening to this podcast, you gotta know that you know this. This is you've made major strides. We all had made your stride, I mean, and because of them. Yeah, And I'm talking about the people that came before us like this, this has been a journey and it's because of them, Hey, it is. And how I would encourage people also to take this opportunity to really get into the talks whenever you see it online if you see somebody talking or speaking or giving a talk who is activist as out there in the streets and witnessing some of these things and have been witnessing these things and organizing, because it's just really important to really hear that point of view, that that because they've been seeing things and interacting with police and interacting with all of these systems and not just police, but prisons, hospitals, child protective services, um mental health services, all of these plays in which we can get blocked, hurt and you know, discriminated against and held back and harmed and even killed that to give us the right perspective on just how bad it is, because I think we can lose sight of that these videos that happened in X y z amount of times, but ever for every video, think about that, for everyone video, there's X amount of hundreds or thousands of people who are affected by the same you know, these same behaviors, you know what I'm saying, And that those things, those things they don't just stop because we don't see them. They're not things that we can just ignore. And that's why I think it's just important to hear that because one of the first times I went to hear a person talk and they talked about just how much police lie. Come on as a rule, like they're just gonna lie, you know what I mean. And we all remember the infamous sprinkle some crack on them joke. Just sprinkle some craps, just sprinkle some crack. In the first time I actually saw a video where they sprinkled the crag like they put they put their evidence on somebody, I was like, it's the sprinkle the crack joke there was that just wasn't a trooke. It just wasn't it. Just so it's just like oh my god. But again this is information that I heard at his talk. I went to see somebody speak, I went to listen. You know what I mean. We spend our time and energy sometimes places where we can get people's opinions, but I think we should also be thinking about like investing some time and space and people who are really doing a lot of organizing work, because that's helped because it's like, oh, Okay, this is what it's really really happening. And it gives us that perspective in those states and cities where this stuff happens, because we'll see something happened in X Y this place, USA, but then in a series of months, we'll see people start to write articles, or we'll hear people talk about it, or hear testimonials from people who live there. And then you turns out, oh, they have a history of this, like what happened with Ferguson. How Ferguson really blew up our understanding of the Midwest, how it was built, the policing there, the government there, the disenfranchisement. If it wasn't for the blow up and the whole world stage being there, mind you people tearing ship up. But we can talk about that another time. If it wasn't for the fact that folks tore shipped up, we would have never known, we would never had that federal inquiry going ferguson to get all of that data, all that bad police and they were doing giving people tickets, put them in jail. And yeah, girl, that these moments are linked to a lot Michael McDonald's hometown. W We'll be right back. It's it's exhausting. Oh, it's it's exhausting knowing how much needs to be tackled that you can't just you know, shake it. Just put it in the bag and put some flower and some seasoning on it. Just shake it, be over, you know what I mean, and it'd be good and delicious, you know. No, it's it's this ongoing battle two ensure liberty and justice and freedom for ourselves and for our families, our people. I think white folks are getting exhausted too. I think a jealous too. Sometimes I think it tired, Andy jealous. It's a lot I'm getting. I'm getting they're getting tired right now. They're giving tired in two ways. So yeah, both ways, I think you're thinking about they're definitely getting tired of like super racist white people right there. Just they're getting tired of that, even if they're not out there doing any super woke as work like this, right, they're like, I'm tired the insurrection. Bastard's like, they're like, they're like, we're I'm exhausted by y'all. Okay, that's not me, that's not me. But I also think and I saw this coming. I hope I'm wrong, but it feels like they're giving a little We're exhausted with being and being talking about racist and unpacking and all of that. They're like, I'm tired. I read the books. Girl, I can't tell you. How does this white woman walked up to me two weeks ago at a mirror screen. I'm gonna say she is because she close to the organization, but she was giving me props to say, you know, stop being in the background saying something else. And then she was like, you know, I love black women, and you guys so great, and you just, you know, we just need to talk about more how great you are instead of like all the issues and things that come with it. Girl, she thought she was doing me a favor, okay, And I was like, well, you know, you know, we just got safe for us to talk about our issues, right, like we just we just got here and already you want us to just talk about the joy of black women. If y'all could just get out of your head with all the things you've been through. Because I'm Italian, you know, we've been through some stuff too. I was like, are you Italian? I know you you New York Italian. Yes, my daddy is eighty years old. He grew up around you guys, so I know how it was back there. Yes, for you guys. It was bad for y'all. It was so bad for us. Girl. That's that's the new thing too. You know, it was bad for us too. I feel I feel like racism takes a legal action, you know, and yeah, yeah, but that and physical action, like like not beating somebody up necessarily. But you know, this standing business, the marching wasn't doing so good. But the standing outside, just standing it works. Just the standing in the chutel seems to be working nicely. Yeah, it depends on it depends on the state, the mood and everything else. They all can work, just depends. We've got many methods. Thank God, I feel hopeful in this moment. I am I guess probably sending you all in the first place. I was like, I see, I see some progress. I'm just it's funny what Agent said about them being weary of the conversation, and I wonder what happens from that. That's the scary part, because I feel I feel like some white folks like, all right, we gots you, we support you for George Floyd. Okay, we gotta buy it in. We got Trump out. Okay, how long we're gonna be having this comment? Y'all got June team? Okay. I was scared about it. I was like, this too much jun tee talk. I think that they're right there, man, maybe getting a little wearious. I think it's really interesting is that people are starting to realize the thing that they realize when they go to therapy. So many people going to therapy and they think the therapist has like a little magic wand they're gonna go in there and talk about their problems. Therapist is gonna sprinkle some therapy on their head and then walk out. Give us a break. We just started going Agent but said by me too, though, So I'm saying my thing is like I feel like that's what's happening with the conversation around race is that the racism has been so bad for so long that it is so normalized. Then now that we just started really talking about it in a way that's starting to crack open some of this stuff, improving it, improving it on a on a on a wide oh Man Global and Bab Williams said, I almost died. Nobody believed our was in pain. Nobody I would believe it, Like wow, And to think how many Black women have been in hospitals and just suffering, or or in emergency rooms just suffering, Like listen, what's your pain. It's a ten. Oh, it's a it's it's a ten. Oh, it's a tend. It's at tend to you, which is probably like, you know, uh six, like or you're just exaggerated. You're paid. It's not real to be a hundred for s honest, I think women, Black women in particular are so trained to downplay our pain. I immediately figure if you say a five, it must be a sain Yeah, thank you, you know, because that's just what we do. We all will downpload the ship, you know what I mean. But I feel like that thing with Serena, it debunks that thing that all of us keep being told. If you're successful, if you have, if you're strong, you're physically stronger. I mean, I'm just saying I don't know her. I never met her physically stronger than Serena Williams Chow. Please stop it. That's athletes to ever live the most. That's what are you talking about? Ever, that has actually received some of the most hateful racism throughout her whole life and career. Yeah, she's a brown woman. She's a brown woman, a very woman, sick woman who plays a very white sport. Yeah. But but but racism did not stop her at her prejudice. I'm certain it affected her, you know, like I know how of course an effect had to. But I think so, I think sometimes the effects are things that become so very personal. So it's like, yeah, racism may not stop people from necessarily being excellent at what they do, but it stopped still hurt them. Yeah, and it could have ended her. It could have ended her life, which then what you know, that's like Charles Drew, you want to you you died and couldn't even be saved by the thing you invented, blood transfusions and died because he needed more. Seriously, it's crazy because end of the day, end of the day, our interaction with racism is so is daily and we say overt and covert, But what I've learned from this conversation is it's all over. There isn't even no covert because it's so it's so aggressive, and it's so like the audacity of racism. It's just like it doesn't care what you're doing. That hurt me last week having that conversation with that woman. I know that I've known this woman for a couple of years, and that ship kind of hurt because I was like, you don't even see who you are in this moment. You just wanted all my good parts. You just want all my good parts, and I can't tell you about none of Okay, Okay, Sometimes I do feel whiny, like if I want to talk about something that's important to me, I will question it. I will be I would My first inclination is to turn it back, you know, and that's people and told you to do that so long. Sometimes it okay, here's the other side of that. All right. So let's say I'm in mixed company and all of a sudden, you know, we're having a picnic, okay, and the sun is shining and it's butterflies and ship out. It's nice, and I'm in mixed company and someone wants us to bring up the topic of racism, I'll be like, God, damn, can I catay off? You know? Yeah? I feel that can I get a day off? So I'm assuming that it's probably the same way when you know white people with the black lady. You know, here she comes, she talking that, and we gotta listen. You know that we got to be respectful nothing, just to have a nice day, you know, And you're to Jill, you see that is your black woman privilege that you should be allowed to have a nice day. And I have talked about it, be on fill out about it, however. But it's interesting there however, But there's a reality show conundrum about this with the Real Housewives of New York, because you know, they just got their first black chick, and this black woman wants to make it known who she was before we started any frivolous conversations, and so they would say to her, you're bringing up race too much. She said, no, no no, no, no, you guys don't know me. I need to establish who I am right now, what's important to me, and then we can have these bullshit ass conversations. So and this is because you're black, because you white women have never had these conversations at all. So any of the little bit of mine is gonna be too much for you. Lady, tie, how are you already tired? I've never been able to say anything any white black woman in your presence because you never even had one. So how are you tired? This is new to you, girl, And let me that's not even get into how it's making. Shout out to Ebony Kate Williams, I see you doing the work boot. They bring another black woman. It's the opposite. I'm sorry for him. That's what they did. They did. They brought on another black woman who is like, well, maybe girls sometimes you do go a little Malcolm X listen And Eboney was like, listen, I respectfully because she a lawyer. You know how to deliver. She's not respectfully accept how you feel about things. But don't tell me how to deliver how I feel about stuff, because this is what I'm gonna beat. I'm paraphrasing, but this is what she said. You're gonna make me watch the showy money right now, the money right now. I'm sorry they do they do right now. I'm sorry I didn't do that. And you give us some money? Heard, your ratings are going down, so you know, might as well just slide us some more money over here. Y'all need some advatars. I mean, we just gave him so that we did. But yeah, I've been I feel like I have been that black person. But truth be told, honestly, I mean, I don't know. I don't really interact a whole whole lot with white folks. And it's not like a thing where it's like I decided that I'm not going to It's not really like a, oh, this is what I'm gonna do because my my, my life has just not really gone that way. And when you can be black in your life, like I've realized when my white girlfriend said to me, not Stacy, what she said to me, like you you you just you just made up with your whole first black dudes, you data black dude, you know. But I've never even seen the Spike Lea movie, not that it's required, but I'm like, so, how you live a life because I haven't seen the breakfast clip sixteen candles, pretty impetue, like, so y'all, just y'all games, Lord of the rings, you ain't see do the right thing? Okay, all right? Wow, yes, So you're gonna get all this black talk, white girlfriend because I know who you are and I know what you haven't seen. I feel like sometimes that way about when I'm talking about women ship with black men. Though oh it would be like enough enough of the woman's stuff, Like it's all the same. Sometimes I feel like from a certain age group, it always gets a little tight when when you when you bring up rape, when you bring that up, it gets tight into girl, I experience girl. I'm saying too much male privile because if we get into if we get into some of the overt misogyny episode on the next episode, ill how the Heather Hunter were ready for you whenever you're ready. But whenever you're ready, it's safe here, Yeah, safe here. Although I don't know, I feel like, you know, the feeling of safety is also this other work stuff. I'd rather work for it than anything else. So the joy aspect and us trying to take those moments to say, okay, today is about sunshine and butterfly to me has been. I love that. That's normal now, Like that's like a thing. Black joy is resistance. That's what we're gonna do today. We're not talking about that today. We're not going to address that. And I've tried to talk to my kids about this too, And I may have said this before, so y'all forgive me if if I'm being repetitive, but I'm like, we can't always be reacting to these white folk all the time, like whether they're doing good or bad. Just like, just chill. Sometimes we just need to focus on ourselves and just have a good time, because honestly, I don't see any other way for us to deal, you know, managing all the feelings on a consistent basis, and you can't pretend that they're not there, because we've tried that in the past. It doesn't work. It comes back up. So it's like, we know, we have to deal with feelings. We don't want to be stuck in the feelings. But at the same time, too, we don't want to always be responding to the feelings kind of things. So it's a it's an interesting dance being a black person, Oh god, it is, Oh girl, no dance break can dance break. We're taking them. We're taking them. We'll be back after the break. I'm gonna just shout out the whole of the neo soul movement because I really feel like like the seventies were a big part of of sexual freedom and and and being and loose and wild and having the best times and you know, but I I really, you know, give shout out to the to the neo soul p read because we're really talking about loving each other. They're really talking about you know, yeah, finding finding peaceful moments and getting far away from here, you know, just together. Yeah, best you sweet things, sisterhood and I mean good stuff in hair, but I was and in India. You know, I am not my hair, you know, Like, yes, you know that song I love your brown Skin, Like, come on, that's because like but when Bala said, sometimes I wish I could be like Moses round up by people about together better. Yes, my favorite below song all times. Yeah, I would love that least. That's a great lyric. That's a great lyric. It's another song in his that just gets me. I want to I want to tell you what it is, so but I just gonna blank. Oh and I blaed all the time. Yeah, but big up the carboner. I even big up to y'all to music music, don't yeah for me? For me, it really was that whole album though, honestly, Ji, the first album, Yeah, born, first born, second call? Will you call somebody called? Yeah, that's an artist that we need to talk to. Yeah, because he has not, you know, conformed in any way, which is true. Yeah, but I'm starting to hear a lot of his his tutelage. Oh he has many children. Yeah, I'm hearing his children. Oh, he has many and I think that they're acknowledging that they're his children. My children. I don't think they acknowledge that they're my children. Your children always acknowledge your children. First of all, George, children show up at every single open mic everywhere all the time. You have chilling. Yeah, you ain't got children. You have chilling honey, Yes, you ain't got ears. We do, okay, thank you. Comming to the ground. I tell you who has children? Has some children? Though? Is that Brandy Norwood? Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh so many, many, many children. Yeah. I wanted Jasmine. I think she kind of a child in a way. No, she said that she was brand baby. Yeah, Brandy loved her baby. She loved her baby Jasmine. Yeah, she's something to love. Yes, I feel like her is my baby. I don't know, I could be wrong about that, but I feel like that was definitely in that room. I feel like you are Icia birthed her ps Alicia and Jill. Jill are still on that song. But yeah, yes, that was such a good feeling. That's one of those nice days. Really. I mean, that's what it sounds like to me. Like when when she did it was like, it sounds like a nice day. It sounds like Jill or what people think. It sounds like it's part of it's one of the pieces of Jill. That's what I meant to sially. I like that. See that's the point here we go. We we switch it up just because we have two people we have to we start talking about racism and prejudice. It gets heavy, It just all gets heavy, and then we just gotta keep looking outside, looking at these trees and looking at the sky and remembering that life is for the living, love is for giving and the rest of that ship ship. They you so much for listening to Jay got on the podcast FISHA Hi. If you have comments on something we said in this episode called eight six six. Hey, Jill, if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot Il the Podcast. This podcast is hosted by Jill Scott, Laya st Clair, and Agr Graden Danceller. It's executive producers are Jill Scott, Shawn g and Brian Calhoun. It's produced by Layah st Clair and me Eves Jeff Cope. The editing and sound design for this episode we're done by Christina Larenger. J dot Ill is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.