Patreon Preview: Tayla Richardson - Ambiguous Loss, Unequivocal Joy

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Hey friends, and welcome to this
preview of our latest Patreon

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exclusive episode.
To continue the conversation and

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listen to the full episode, head
on over to the I Think Therefore

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I Slam Patreon and sign up to be
part of the Slam Fam.

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The link is in the show notes.
Slam Poetry.

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Doesn't care if it's.
Perfect.

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It's time to.
Slam.

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It's the biggest poem I've got
inside of her.

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She was a thief you love.
Me to love a haunted house.

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Blood black nothingness began to
spin.

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This day.
I hate pork.

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Chops.
I am the master, I am the

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captain.
Long live the car crash.

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Hearts cry on the couch.
All the poets come to life.

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Welcome to I Think Therefore I
Slam, the podcast bringing you

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the best spoken word and slam
poetry artist from around

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Australia and around the world.
My name is Andrew.

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My guest today comes nominated
by former guest Steve Atkinson.

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She is a Melbourne based
multidisciplinary artist, writer

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and disability advocate.
Her creative work explores

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themes of connection, ambiguous
loss and impermanence, drawing

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from her personal experiences.
Her poetry has been recognized

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with a University of Sydney Art
Prize, was highly commended in

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the 2023 Rideability Fellowship,
and has been featured in various

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art exhibitions and publications
like Rush Magazine.

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She is also an Australian poetry
slam Victorian state finalist.

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Taylor Richardson.
Oh, come on.

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Thank you so much for having me.
Taylor, what does it feel like?

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I know that you are a fan, a a
mega fan if you like, of the

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podcast.
What does it feel like knowing

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that you're about to become part
of that beautiful tapestry?

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Yeah, it's super exciting.
I've been a fan from early on

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and I love what you're doing and
to be a part of your journey and

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your story as you grow and
expand is really exciting.

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Growing and expanding like
what's her name?

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The the, you know, the, the the
grape girl from Charlie and the

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Chocolate Factory.
I can't remember.

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Veruca.
Is it Veruca?

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No.
She's the Violet.

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Violet.
Yeah, the blueberry.

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Yep.
Expanding Violet.

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There we go.
Well, let's get you set up in

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that tapestry in that scene.
We'd love to hear your first

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piece.
Great, my first piece is

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actually I'm just going to speak
and then I'd love to chat about

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it afterwards.
This is called self-portrait.

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As a conch shell, you press my
skeleton to your flesh when you

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long to hear a mouthful of home
buried in the blood pools and

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sea glass.
Impression splinter into grit,

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embedded not in motion but
vibration primed to echo in your

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delight.
Sculpted by the shifting winds,

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buffered by imperfect spirals, A
procured Pearl essence

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refracting shadows in direct
light, a cradle to the soft

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bodied.
Be tender with this mortal frame

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as you trace fractures of a
fossil who could not be traded,

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the rust to the fire.
In transparency you will see my

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veins and pallor are no
different to yours.

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Lean in these whispers.
Leak my story.

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I wanted to ask you the fact
that you know we've got all the

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gear here, do you like the kind
of ASMR factor that comes in

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when you're reading your own
work?

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Definitely.
I think it like suits my voice a

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little bit as well I think.
So too, I think so too.

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A voice, a voice made for radio
as, as as they say.

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What a what a lovely piece.
What?

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What kind of insight can you
give us into this piece?

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Yeah, so this piece, like many
of mine, was spurred from one

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line that I was actually created
in a workshop with an incredible

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mentor I had Madison Godfrey and
it was just to, it was a

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self-portrait that she asked us
to create.

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But only one line of that really
stood with me and it was about

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the cradle to the soft bodied.
And that was a line that really

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spoke to me.
And then I was thinking about if

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I was an object, what might I be
right.

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And a conch shell actually came
pretty quickly because I was

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born on a tropical island.
Really.

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Yeah.
On Magnetic Island up in

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Queensland.
Oh, wow.

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Yeah.
So it's definitely a part of me.

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And I moved back, I moved to
Melbourne when I was three years

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old, so.
But it's always really stayed

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with me.
And I have a special connection

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with the ocean and with the
beach, so.

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And I love to the fact that a
conch shell, when you put it to

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your ER, you, you hear so many
different things.

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And I feel like sometimes I'm
that for many people as well.

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And this piece is actually being
chosen by Writers Victoria to be

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published soon.
So it's upcoming with Writers

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Victoria, which is really
exciting.

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Yeah.
Through their write ability

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program, which is incredible
program for writers with a

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disability.
So my mentor through that, Ruby

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Hill Smith, has helped shape
that a little bit.

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And then, yeah, it's going to be
very soon.

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So it's exciting.
Wow.

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And that central question that
came from the workshop, like if

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you were an object, what you
could, what would you be?

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I'm being funny here, but like,
it's kind of getting dangerously

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close to like, if I was a worm,
would you still love me kind of

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thing.
Do you know what?

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Totally, totally.
Amazing.

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Let's take a trip down memory
lane, shall we?

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What is your origin story, so to
speak, of starting to share your

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creative work?
Yeah, so I love to consider

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myself a storyteller, and I've
been telling stories since I was

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a child, like many children.
We have a few home videos of me

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when I was, say, five years old
and I wanted to be a

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paleontologist, and I was
obsessed with Land Before Time.

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I don't know if you know.
Whoa.

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OK, OK, hold up, hold up.
So I went through a dinosaur I

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saw phase as well and I, I
thought I was the absolute shit,

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like walking around at 7 years
old going, I'm going to be a

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paleontologist, you know?
Exactly.

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And Lamb Before Time.
Yeah.

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I mean, the classic 90s cartoon
kind of traumatic.

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Some some really intense scenes
in there.

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Yeah.
But like Ducky and Petrie and

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Littlefoot and Sarah.
Yeah.

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That they're my second family.
Yeah, 100 percent, 100%.

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And I felt exactly the same way.
So I used to reenact those

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scenes with my little for
dinosaurs and like create my own

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worlds off the back of the
movies.

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So yeah, that's like little
scenes of me narrating these

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characters.
And so definitely I loved

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creating stories from a really
young age.

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I then started dancing when I
was around 5 years old and that

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became my storytelling mechanism
for a really long time.

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I danced till I was 20 and I
really connected with the

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lyrics, particularly of music.
It wasn't called lyrical dance

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at the time, but that would be
my favorite style was connecting

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with the lyrics of a piece.
And that really was my mechanism

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for storytelling.
And the way that I connected

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with the audience originally and
felt the energy on stage was

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incredible.
And then when I also go going

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back a little bit, I had quite a
severe concussion when I was 8

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years old where I had to relearn
to read and write.

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Ohh wow.
So yeah, that was a little bit

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of a spanner in the works.
So I was quite an early reader

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and an early speaker, but then
when I had the concussion, I had

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to relearn to do all those
things.

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And with that also came some
visual problems.

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So I had some issues literally
reading books for a really long

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time.
So my love of like books and

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stories kind of shifted a little
bit and went more to movies and

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TV shows that wouldn't make me
work so hard to read.

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So I lost that love a little bit
of the stories just because of

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the barriers that I therefore
that I faced there.

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And then when I was 20, I
started to develop my condition,

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which so I have two real
neuromuscular conditions and

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pretty much they caused my
muscles to weaken with use

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because there's a disconnection
problem between the nerves and

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muscles that resulted in me
having some issues with speech,

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some issues with my vision, with
literally mobility and also with

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my breathing developed over
time.

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Yeah, it was, it was a lot.
And it progressed over time as

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well.
So when I was 20, it was more

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with my limbs.
And so that's when dancing kind

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of ended for me.
And then it, it kind of got

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worse and worse where I, it
started affecting my breathing

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and therefore my speech because
you need breathing to speak.

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So I was recommended by an
incredible psychologist to go to

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a Buddhist meditation temple,
which was incredible.

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And this was just before COVID,
so it was about a year before

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lockdowns.
And that's where I was

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reintroduced to poetry.
I was reintroduced to Rumi and

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all the incredible philosophers
and ancient wisdom creators.

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And I just loved how their words
could still resonate with us

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today.
And I was really drawn to that.

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And we obviously did the
meditations at that point too.

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But I think the biggest thing I
took away from that was that

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love of words again, which was
incredible.

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And that kind of delved me into
into looking more into poetry,

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looking into the incredible like
Ruby Core and people who were

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super popular at the time and
the way that they were

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connecting with people through
their words.

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And then pretty much until 2022,
I was really in like survival

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mode with my body.
I was not able to find

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treatments that were working for
me.

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And I was slowly getting worse
with my condition.

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And then thankfully, in 2021, I
found some medications which

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helped my condition, and that
meant that I could focus on

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things that were not just
surviving and actually start to

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create again and start to think
beyond my falls.

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And so, yeah, in 2022, I
actually joined a talent agency

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for people with lived experience
of chronic conditions and

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disabilities, which was
incredible.

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And at the time it was a lot of
advocacy.

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And also, yeah, just using your
lived experience, I guess, to

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make an impact got me thinking
though, about public speaking

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and connecting with that
audience again.

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And then in the same year, I was
fortunate enough to get into a

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short course with Express Media
Toolkits program, which is an

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under 30s program and it's
nationwide and it is a 12 week

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course.
And they run like streams of

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either poetry, short fiction,
non fiction, and they've even

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done like a digital one as well.
Oh, wow.

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Which is incredible.
And they link you up with a

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mentor and there's usually about
10 people in your in your group

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and you'll connect once a week
for 12 weeks in kind of a course

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structure.
And through that I found I did

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the poetry toolkits program and
I connected with my, my

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incredible mentor, Maddie
Godfrey, who is an incredible

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spoken word poet and she is
quite prolific now.

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And she really inspired me to
look beyond the course and think

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about how I could connect wider
with my poetry, which was

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incredible.
That's also when I first found

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Littlefoot.
Yeah, our old friend Littlefoot.

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Yes, Speaking of, you know, land
before time.

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Yeah.
Oh yeah.

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Amazing.
It was so incredible.

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00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,640
I'd actually met Eden a couple
of years before.

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I'd done a few of her art
workshops with Buniel Place and

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I then saw kind of as well
coming out of those lockdowns

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and those first few out of
lockdowns that they were hosting

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00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,840
them again in person.
And so that's when I first

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attended and saw the incredible,
like a scene that they had

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created and the community they
had created.

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And I think, I think I spoke on
the first night that I went, I

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00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,800
just went and had no, no
expectations and was like, The

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00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:38,760
funny thing is, is like my
experience with my condition has

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made me have less fear because
I'm just like, well, the worst

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that can happen is more like I
experienced like full body

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paralysis episodes where like I
can't move at all and I can't

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00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,520
communicate with the world.
And like, that's could be

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00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,080
someone's worst nightmare.
And if I experience that every

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day, like standing up in front
of an audience, to me is like,

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it doesn't feel feel anything,
right?

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00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,920
It's just like, this is joyful.
This is great.

229
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,560
Like, this is so yeah, that was
a unique experience.

230
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,760
And I'm so glad I went because
they're incredible.

231
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,000
Yeah.
Wow, there you go.

232
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,080
The the full, the full origin
story.

233
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,360
There it is.
That's so cool.

234
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,280
How like you said, your your
lover story kind of came around

235
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,160
again.
What a what a you know, what a

236
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:24,360
stunning and and and beautiful
context to rediscover, you know,

237
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,880
that love of words, you know.
Yeah, wow.

238
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,760
That is the very unique origin
story.

239
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,120
I don't think we've had we've
had something like that.

240
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,680
And, and I'm so glad that, you
know, you, you do practice that

241
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,960
fearlessness, you know, because
like you said, you've been in

242
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:41,040
the wars you've experienced, you
know, you've experienced things

243
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,440
that are that are far worse
than, you know, flubbing a line

244
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,480
in front of of a crowd.
So I think we could all learn

245
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,400
from that.
So what's really cool, Taylor,

246
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:51,600
is that last year you and I got
to represent Casey City of Casey

247
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,320
at the Victorian final of the
Australian Poetry Slam.

248
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,640
So we got kind of got to be
running mates in that that case.

249
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,480
We haven't talked a lot about
this particular event on the

250
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,280
podcast.
So I want to know, what were

251
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:05,000
your recollections and
highlights from the experience?

252
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,440
I mean, I could, I could sit
here and say that I felt like

253
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,880
everyone was on like their AAA
game.

254
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,440
And I feel like, yeah, anyone,
you know, could have got through

255
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,160
to the next stage.
But what did you think?

256
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,480
Yeah, definitely.
I would love to talk about like

257
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,080
the heats first and then go to
the finals.

258
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,640
That would be like, amazing.
I just think it was such an

259
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:26,360
incredible process for me.
I hadn't heard about APS until

260
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,360
the year prior, so that was the
first time I'd heard about it.

261
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:33,160
And I attended one of the heats
with the incredible Ren, who was

262
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:36,160
hosting at the time.
And then I had done a bit of

263
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:39,640
watching online and seen
previous previous state finals

264
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,200
and stuff before, was really
inspired by all the incredible

265
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:46,440
poets that were up there.
Then the day of the heats, I

266
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,640
actually didn't know if I was
going to be able to attend

267
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:51,520
because my health was quite
unstable that day.

268
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,680
So I decided pretty much an hour
or two before that I'd be able

269
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:59,080
to go.
And I'm so glad I did.

270
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:04,160
And it was actually a really
cool piece that I spoke that was

271
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:08,440
really important to me called
synchronous, which is about the

272
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:12,760
concept of crypt time, which was
coined by an academic called

273
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:16,520
Allison Kafa.
And this is a concept in the

274
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:20,520
disability, chronic illness and
neurodivergent community where

275
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:25,320
we often experience time in a
really flexible and unique way

276
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:30,560
where things can slow up and
speed down and just change.

277
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,760
And we often need the pace of
things changed as well.

278
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:37,200
It may take us a lot longer to
get ready for the day, or things

279
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,080
might be a lot shorter for us.
And it's just that idea of like,

280
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:44,680
flexible time.
And I loved that concept, and I

281
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,680
had not heard about it until a
few months beforehand.

282
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,920
And so, yeah, it was a really
special piece for me to be able

283
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,200
to kind of share with our local
community and just kind of put a

284
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,800
little bit of a, a creative
spotlight on and, and just

285
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,840
introduce it to people who may
also not have understood the

286
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,800
concept before.
And yeah, I was super pleasantly

287
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,760
shocked to have obviously got
through with you.

288
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,720
People loved it.
Yeah, it was really cool.

289
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,440
So then I set myself the
challenge.

290
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,600
I do not have the best memory
and my memory is not great.

291
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,920
So I'd never memorised a piece
before.

292
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,440
And so I set myself a challenge
to memorise a piece for the

293
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,680
state finals, which was such an
interesting process to learn how

294
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,440
I absorb things best.
And I ended up doing a

295
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,760
combination of kind of like
playing the words back to

296
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,640
myself.
So I'd like recorded myself and

297
00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,120
kind of listened to it for a
while.

298
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,240
And I found I absorbed that
really well.

299
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:41,480
I was also deciding between two
poems for the night and I kind

300
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,560
of decided the week before which
one I was going to do.

301
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:49,520
My voice, as you would probably
know from the first one, is not

302
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:53,000
traditionally slam.
I would say it's more, it's more

303
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:57,200
like a quiet, like a quieter,
more gentle tone probably.

304
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,120
And that's just naturally how I
speak.

305
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:04,079
And it's also a little bit with
my condition as well with my

306
00:17:04,079 --> 00:17:06,640
breathing and, and how much
breath I can get out.

307
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:12,760
So I think it's unique, but it's
also can be a challenge

308
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:16,680
sometimes when you feel like
you're against incredibly

309
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:20,040
energetic, incredibly powerful
voices.

310
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:24,319
So I kind of had had the thought
to lean into it a little bit

311
00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:27,880
with my piece.
And I spoke a poem about

312
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,600
ambiguous loss.
And again, it was a really

313
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:33,480
important concept to me.
And I thought, if this is the

314
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,400
only chance I'll get to speak
this, what do I want this

315
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,480
incredible audience to hear?
Yeah.

316
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,960
And it was such a diverse
audience who had come from all

317
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,360
over.
And also I was really admired

318
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,880
that the people we were with and
incredible people who have done

319
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,960
it for many years and who have
so much knowledge.

320
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,280
And I think I learnt so much
from those people.

321
00:17:54,600 --> 00:18:01,320
And I also think that the the
sense of support that each other

322
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:05,000
gives and that everyone gave in
that room was really special.

323
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000
And I hadn't really experienced
anything like that before.

324
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,040
I don't know how you feel, if
you felt the same.

325
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,480
Yeah.
Yeah.

326
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:16,000
Look, I, my personal reflection
is that I've, I've done a lot of

327
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:21,200
personal growth between like the
2023 final and 2024 in that I

328
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,280
don't know if I've, I've
actually told this story on the

329
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:29,000
podcast.
But for 2023, there was an,

330
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:33,400
there was a thing that happened
in the heat where I, I, I mean,

331
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,160
look, I had a bit of an ego
trip.

332
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,840
I had kind of tickets on myself
and got a bit salty that I

333
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:41,120
didn't get through initially,
but I learnt from that.

334
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,920
And that's what kind of led to
doing this podcast, you know,

335
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:49,080
seeing my fellow artists, not as
people that I'm trying to crush

336
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:53,800
in like a competition respect,
but people that I create

337
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,080
alongside and I saw it was a
wonderful night.

338
00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:00,160
It was a bonus that the room was
full of former, I think

339
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,680
therefore I slammed guests.
You know, KJ Haywood was there,

340
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:08,120
Joe Yang was there, John and
Glazos came in and, and watched

341
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:11,360
as well.
And yeah, they're just, they're

342
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:15,120
just really special times.
And I was so thrilled to see, to

343
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,960
see Lane and Alex get through
to, to finals as well.

344
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:22,560
But yeah, I, I couldn't believe,
I mean, I, I tend to kind of

345
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,160
blank out the, the scores a
little bit, but I couldn't

346
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,680
believe how close it was.
Like I I really think anyone

347
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,800
could have got through.
It yeah, it was super close.

348
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,440
I think the same.
And I think the judges always

349
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:37,560
have a really difficult decision
because everyone is so unique in

350
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,440
their voice and the way that
they approach a story and the

351
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,720
story they tell.
And I just thought everyone's

352
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,440
was so different.
It's like, how do you compare

353
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,920
apples to oranges to pears?
You know what I mean?

354
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:51,680
It's really, really different,
which also makes I think a great

355
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:56,840
show to watch as well.
And I the couple couple of other

356
00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:00,160
little things that I remember
from the night was an interval.

357
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,000
A beautiful woman came up and
spoke to me and just said that

358
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,920
the impact that it had made on
her and I.

359
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,680
I just think that it reminded me
of why I do it.

360
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,160
Yeah, like it reminded me I'm
like, even if, you know, I don't

361
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,520
get into finals or whatever,
like this is the reason why I do

362
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,080
it.
Because she spoke to me for 5

363
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,160
minutes about the impact that
that poem had made on her.

364
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,080
And, you know, my mom's got
incredible wisdom.

365
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,280
And she always says if it, if it
reaches one person in the room

366
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,400
and impacts one person like
that, that you've done your job,

367
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,240
right.
Like, and I actually spoke to

368
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,360
another incredible poet on the
night who actually said that he

369
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:38,200
was inspired to enter the heat
because he had seen both of us

370
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,320
speak at our heat.
And that was just, I just

371
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,000
thought that was, that was
incredible.

372
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:48,360
And then to see his family
support him and how proud they

373
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,360
were of him.
I just thought that's that

374
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,840
ripple effect that you have.
And you may not even like, I

375
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,320
wouldn't have known that at all
unless he came and said that to

376
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,120
us.
And so I was like again, that

377
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,160
you know, that that's why I do
it like.

378
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:01,720
Yeah, that.
That's everything, isn't it?

379
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,320
Former guest Nick Jenkins as
well was a state finalist.

380
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,840
Sorry, mate, forgot to spread
the love over your way, but

381
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,960
there you go.
Yeah, very, very special.

382
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,400
I think I wanna talk about art
more generally now and how you

383
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:17,200
know, art has the power to
communicate in ways that words

384
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:21,480
can't always do on their own.
I wanna know how is poetry and

385
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,760
visual storytelling helped you
express the complexities of like

386
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,600
your experiences and what does
what role does creativity play

387
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,840
in I guess the the healing
process for you?

388
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:36,520
Yeah, I think a quote that I
read that comes to my mind, but

389
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,480
when you ask this is by Susan
Cain from her book Bittersweet.

390
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:45,040
And it goes, whatever pain you
can't get rid of, make your

391
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,320
creative offering.
And I just loved that.

392
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:51,160
I really resonated with that
because I think for me, it's not

393
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:56,000
just my pain, but it's also the
complexities of all the emotions

394
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,480
that I have that sometimes I
don't feel have a home and don't

395
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,440
have a place.
And it's like, what do I do with

396
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,680
this?
I feel like kind of when you

397
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:08,080
said healing, it really is like
a cyclical healing journey for

398
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,080
me and it and it goes up and
down and it kind of has those

399
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,520
really positive emotions and
those negative emotions.

400
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:17,640
And sometimes I felt a little
bit like I'm outside the pace of

401
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,200
life a little bit, sometimes
less so in the last couple of

402
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:25,440
years, but definitely the few
years before that where I wasn't

403
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,680
able to be as much with my
friends and my family.

404
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:33,600
And I just felt like, you know,
what was I contributing?

405
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,120
How was I connecting with
people?

406
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:38,200
And that's really where, you
know, my core value of

407
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:42,080
connection came from.
It was from that sense of

408
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,440
probably from healing to be
honest.

409
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,160
And then how can I make a
positive impact with that?

410
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:52,400
For me, both the process of
creating and sharing a cathartic

411
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,200
in different ways.
I think I connect with myself in

412
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,520
that process of creating and
often even I'll do a little bit

413
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,160
of research as well.
If it's something sometimes I'll

414
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:06,360
write with like a scientific
concepts in mind or I'll write

415
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,800
like I draw inspiration from
from so many places, from

416
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,040
podcasts, from things people
have said.

417
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,920
And if I don't know much or as
much about a topic, I'll do it

418
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,000
like a deep dive.
And from that it's even like, Oh

419
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,960
my gosh, like I'm growing and
learning from that process

420
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000
anyway, even if it doesn't see
the light of day.

421
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:28,600
I think I love to combine.
And it's only been probably the

422
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:32,600
past year and a half that I've
kind of brought in visual art

423
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:36,200
into my repertoire.
First it was the written word.

424
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,280
I think it was just the most
accessible to me at the time.

425
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,320
It was something like you don't
need anything except like your

426
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,280
foreign or you don't need
anything.

427
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,360
Like I find it hard to
physically write with my hands,

428
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,240
but I always have my phone on
me.

429
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,320
So it's like I, I don't didn't
need anything else.

430
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:57,040
And then combining poetry
combined with photography,

431
00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:00,920
because photography was next for
me, really kind of made it a bit

432
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,640
more unique.
And they always say like a

433
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,920
picture says 1000 words, right?
It's like the quintessential,

434
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,440
quintessential things.
So I've always loved photos and

435
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:14,480
I'm I was it's the scrapbook
maker of our family.

436
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,040
We have always one I'm that
person guilty.

437
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:22,320
So that was my lockdown project
actually was creating family

438
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,840
albums and family photo books to
look back on because I think

439
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,960
that you can read so much from
the photos.

440
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:33,080
And I really wanted to explore
what that would look like if I

441
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:37,720
was to then create a concept and
be more creative with my

442
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:44,240
photography and choose like a
dimension and layers and really

443
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:46,720
create a whole image from
scratch.

444
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:52,440
And it really that combined with
the poetry allows for people to

445
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,160
explore things in a multi
dimension.

446
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,720
I think that we absorb
information differently each of

447
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,000
us.
Some of us are more auditory

448
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,600
learners, some are more visual
learners.

449
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:09,760
I think that we absorb them more
deeply if they're in our

450
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,840
preferred or combined kind of
mediums.

451
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,400
So that's where the combination
came from.

452
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:20,520
And also with kind of expanding
that into videography as well,

453
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:25,400
which I've done more recently.
I think my first video that I

454
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,600
created was with a poem.
I'm going to speak a little bit

455
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,360
later.
And it really it just the, the

456
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:35,120
combination of the audio with
the visual.

457
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,360
And I always think of
accessibility as well.

458
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:42,160
So like a captions, I just found
like I imagined it in a dark

459
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,120
room.
And then like I was like, OK,

460
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:46,800
this is projected up on a wall.
Like what are people going to

461
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,160
feel from this?
What emotion do I want people to

462
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,840
feel?
What I want people to take away

463
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,800
from that?
And it just allowed me to expand

464
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,320
the breadth of, of what I was
giving.

465
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,920
And yeah, I've I've then gone on
to create another one, which is

466
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,760
actually in a, in a film in the
in couple of weeks, Bill, the TS

467
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,760
Bill.
The TS What's?

468
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,480
This Yeah.
So the poem that I actually

469
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:13,760
spoke at state finals, I created
a video of that, a short film.

470
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:18,480
And that I've, I sent it off to
a couple of international poetry

471
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,640
film festivals.
And yeah, it was excitedly

472
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,440
accepted into one, which was
very exciting.

473
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:27,280
And so it's based in Texas at
the beginning of next month and

474
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:32,320
it's also gonna be shown online.
So there's screenings kind of

475
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:36,840
two days on the 4th of April and
also on the 9th of April kind of

476
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,680
our time.
So our time, it works out like

477
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,360
once at like 5:00 AM and I'm
like, who's watching at 5:00 AM

478
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,240
but also at 11 AM is the other
one.

479
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:50,240
So yeah, that's really exciting.
And then it's also gonna be

480
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:54,120
available for any anyone to
watch who has a ticket for until

481
00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:56,720
the middle of May.
So that's really exciting.

482
00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,440
Yeah.
And am I right in saying you?

483
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:02,160
You've had some work featured at
Abbotsford Convent recently,

484
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,280
Yes, Yes.
So I've done a few things

485
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,920
actually with the incredible
platform exhibitions.

486
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:14,000
So they usually work to a theme
each time and you submit a or an

487
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,320
idea or it can be fully finished
or it could be in process.

488
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:21,080
And then they select usually up
to 50 artists, sometimes it's 30

489
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,800
up to 50.
And I've had my first collection

490
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,680
with them was actually a seven
piece collection which I went

491
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:34,080
like all out.
So this was based on a poem

492
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:39,920
actually, that I had combined
with art and it was based on the

493
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:44,600
concept of memory and fragmented
memory and a created a

494
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:49,000
photograph and then a little
poetic kind of caption

495
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:54,360
underneath each photograph to
kind of, yeah, symbolize the

496
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:56,480
different stages of the memory
and the poem.

497
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,400
I'm actually going to read that
one a bit later today as well.

498
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,360
So that would be really cool,
setting the stage.

499
00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:04,960
For it, yeah.
So, yeah, you've been out there

500
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,160
doing your thing in so many
different forms.

501
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,680
And I really like what you said
as well about the the catharsis

502
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,080
of art.
I think that's such a a strong

503
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,480
word.
And you throw everything in

504
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,680
there, your joy, your pain, your
questions, your, your doubt, and

505
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:25,040
you produce something that other
people get to see and reflect

506
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,240
on.
And I just think, you know, I

507
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:28,840
just think that's one of the
most beautiful things in the

508
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:32,160
world, really, that we get to do
that and we get to witness other

509
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:33,360
people doing that.
Yeah, Yeah.

510
00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:35,640
It's very uniquely.
Human, I think, yeah,

511
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,000
absolutely.
To do that, and particularly in

512
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,280
times of crisis and in times
where people are really

513
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,680
struggling, I think art is
crucial.

514
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:45,640
Yeah.
Hope you enjoyed.

515
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,520
This preview clip.
To continue the conversation and

516
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,480
listen to the entire episode,
head over to the I Think

517
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,760
Therefore I Slam Patreon.
The link is in the show notes.