The Mindset Of Being Perfectly Imperfect

All right. Welcome to another episode of Hope Without Sight with your host, Saylor Cooper and this Tyler Evans. And today we have a very special lady who we met at speakers Playhouse live in Dallas. Do we have a good time? Yes. Oh my god. Oh, yeah. So she is the province of Alberta, Canada, just 45 minutes away from the Montana border. She is an inspirational figure, an entrepreneur who helps women in a lot of ways. I'm sure she's had a lot of challenges in her life. Please welcome Tanya, Gill. And Tanya, how you doing?

Oh, Saylor, Tyler, I am so happy to be here. I truly am. So happy to be here. It was amazing meeting with you at speakers Playhouse. And, you know, thank you for calling me an inspiration. Because, you know, I really find it my mission in life to reinforce a legacy of self love. And, and it's important to me that self love be I do work mostly with women. But it's for me, it's about everybody loving themselves. Because I believe when we can ignite that fuel. And we trust ourselves on that deep, deep level, we can live life so juicy. And that's why I wrote the book, the trifecta of joy, help yourself in a world of change. And guys,

because indeed, that really determines your self esteem. If you don't love yourself, you're not going to have good self esteem. And, and that happens a lot in this world today. Which is why I truly like what you're doing, Tanya.

Thank you, Saylor. And you know, I find you guys to be such an incredible inspiration. Because, you know, you have a show about overcoming adversity. And I wrote my book about moving through change. And it's really about, like, we never know, when change is going to happen. And sometimes it can be in an instant. And sometimes it can be coming and we kind of pretend it's not. Or we can be intentional in it. Right. So you know, and you guys have experienced a lot of change. And so have I,

yes, we have,

oh, absolutely. You know, I truly believe you know, I find my purpose and this podcast, but also do it as a ministry because, you know, as many, many people may or may not know, but they might. I believe that, you know, I believe in Jesus and what he did, you know, on the cross and all that, and that gives me hope it gives me inspiration. He's my ultimate hero Jesus's

Oh, me too.

He's my ultimate hero because he's my savior. And he's amazing. And he gives me purpose in life.

So that's how I view my life. I view it as a mission a ministry of giving others hope. And I believe this hope without sight isn't ministry.

Yes it is, guys,

it really is.

And, and guys, you know what I believe? I believe that we all have that shining Divine Light within us. Yeah. And, and it is our divine, it is our right to shine our divine light, mind, body and spirit into the world, which is exactly what you do. And that is what I'm aligned with as well.

And, you know, there's another person that was really special. To me, she's no longer with me, it was my mom. And I still feel just all I feel her all around me. From time to time, just her presence. Her hug her hug was the best thing I've ever felt in my life. It was amazing.

I really want to honor that loss.

Yeah,

yeah.

It's it and and you know, I'm sorry, I am sorry. I am deeply story losing someone that you love. And moving through that process of grief is is not something that anyone can truly describe until they've experienced it.

That's right. That's right.

And everybody's experience of it is different. It is

you gotta get Yeah,

I tell you despite the challenge of that, despite all that, I've moved on. i My mom told me straight up when I'm gone. I don't want y'all to grieve, like are dead. I want y'all to be strong. I want y'all to Yes, sure, miss me. Sure. But not like she did. Because when she when her mom died, it made her sick. It made her have pneumonia. Oh, yeah.

That is, I mean, I've experienced the loss. Just recently, of course, my mom is still around, my grandma was still around back on my one and your two year old grandfather just passed away in September, September, like this year. I mean, we know what's coming. But he lived a good long life. He was in World War Two flew for Pan American Airlines was very successful in business. And overall was was just full of life. And honestly, because, I mean, we knew he was declining. And we knew that it was, it was time. I didn't think that I would feel that loss. After he passed away. You're sure I would miss him. But I didn't think that I would feel sad right away. But after he passed away, I did cry a little bit, but I'm, I'm okay now, because I know he's on the other side looking down. Oh, yeah. Well, and you know, you know, guys that that is inspiring, because feeling for example,

Saylor you feeling your mom's presence around you, and sorry, Tyler, sorry, Tyler, you you feeling your mom's presence around you and, and Saylor you knowing that your grandfather is looking down from the other side, I have the same experience. 15 years ago, I was on a family vacation in Mexico. And I was with my husband and my two children who at the time were four years old and eight months old. And my, my husband left my boys and I by the pool in the morning, and said he was just going to go for a walk on the beach. And I noticed some people that worked at the hotel walking by very quickly. And I got that feeling that intuitive feeling that something wasn't right. So I even went and checked in with the lady next to me, I leaned in and I was like, Hey, do you think something's going on? Have you noticed all the staff moving back and forth? Like no, I hadn't noticed anything. And so I was sitting there giving a bottle to my baby, feeling this rock in my gut. I finished feeding him, asked the other mother to watch my four year old while they were playing in a little lazy river. Put my eight month old on my hip because I couldn't resist wanting to know what the hell was going on. And when I got to the edge to look over the wall down to the beach, they were pulling my husband out of the water.

So he drowned.

My husband drowned.

How.

So he got caught in a riptide. And what I learned was that he from from the from, from the witnesses was that he was about knee deep in water. And he just got caught. And it shot him out. And so you know, what I what I want to say to both of you is that I understand that loss is not something you actually get over it's something you move through. And that and that trusting that they remain with us in spirit in light and to fuel our own journeys forward. Even if it's one step at a time guys, like that is what it's about. And, and like it's about. So and this is and this is I have in my book I talk about I talk about my acronym of help. And I say that help is on empathy, love and presence. And we give those things to others. When we are giving those things to ourselves, and it really is how the world expands into more love, and more light, and more goodness, that's right.

And I imagine that's what made you step into this headspace of making people feel good with self esteem and finding joy. In this tragic event, I mean, you're right, you know, something can change in just an instant. I mean, my, my goodness, I mean. I'm sure you think about all the time you wish your husband would not have gone out on that beach. And

you're right. You're right. And, you know, and, and yet, and yet, I have to trust. Right, like, like, you have to trust that divine spirit. Understood, it was their time, it was his time. And that it was his time to cross. And, and that his, his worldly light was extinguished. But his spiritual light never, ever dies.

No, never.

You know, what's interesting about my mom, she died. She died almost exactly 23 years after her story. Almost exactly 23 years. Wow. And I believe that it was that it was just, it was her time to go on that day. And she told me straight up whenever it's my time is my time, you know.

And

I truly believe that she is in heaven, dancing for Jesus. That's what I believe. And just enjoying the presence with her mom. My recent uncle who died not too long ago, probably about a month was a couple of weeks ago, a few weeks ago. Yeah. My aunt recently passed away on my mom's side, one of my sisters. She was 72.

Yeah,

yeah. And I mean, my grandpa, he's will all his friends, is that a wife who passed away back in the 80s. Before he met my grandmother, and he's, he's doing the same thing. And spirit never ends his talk. He's probably looking at it now. Which is great.

Oh, yeah.

You know what, actually, I feel like I can feel all of these loved ones on the other side, holding us in this really amazing space. Because we've had the joy of physically sharing space together. But energetically we share space across time and physical space. And we are being held together right now. And I feel beautiful. But you know, I want to say something to all of this. I really want to acknowledge how much loss you have experienced and and your listeners have experienced. Because if there's one thing that I think, as a society we actually suck ass at. It is grief and loss. And I'm actually going to, I'm committed to building a program called From Grief To Grace, about how we experience grief in our unique ways. And about how it is not something that we get over. But it is something that we move through. And there are healthy ways of moving through. And it really is it comes back to the trifecta of joy, right? That trifecta is awareness. befriend your inner critic, and raise your vibration. Yeah. And those are the keys to self love.

Oh, yeah. Well, I believe. You know, even the Bible mentions grief a lot. And there's a path. I mean, I don't mean to be preachy. But yeah, there's a passage in First Thessalonians I believe it's chapter four, where it talks about, hey, we don't grieve like the ones who have no hope. Now, that doesn't mean they don't grieve. I mean, even the even the Bible says Jesus wept. I mean up for over Elijah, despite the fact that he could resurrect him from the dead. And so I believe that there it's okay to grieve. There's nothing wrong with it. In fact, it's healthy to grieve. But for those who have no hope, that's all they know is grief. You know, Yeah. And what our hope is found in is what I believe it's found in is Jesus Christ. Now everyone may have different beliefs, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with it. And because we find our hope and the fact that he gives us the promise of eternal life, for those who believe, you know, that's what I believe. Yeah. And others may have different faiths.

Yeah, for sure.

Yep.

And that's exactly we can honor everyone's spiritual journey. Exactly. And recognize that our worldly experience is to grieve, and to hold on hope. Now, what's interesting is that this is this is interesting, because

I have a tattoo on my wrist that says, inspire hope. And it's written in my mom's handwriting. And I believe that, you know, as you talk about hope, Tyler hope also needs to be defined as action,

which

That's why our podcast is held without sight.

That's right,

Right

In other words, you can have hope, despite the challenges, despite the darkness, yeah, experience in life, And thats why, our podcast because hope it outside is way more than just hope, without vision or hope, with hope being blind without able to without being able to see it's a metaphor. It's a way to say, doesn't matter, the situation where you've been. There's always hope. And there's another thing that I believe, you know, that's like in. In the book of Romans in the Bible, it talks about how hope does not disappoint, because the hope that we experience is not Oh, I hope so. It's not that kind of hope. It's a living hope. And that's what I believe. And so this hope it outside tells people, Hey, we can encourage them and tell them, hey, it doesn't matter where you've been in life, your journey, you can succeed in any task you are called to do, or put your mind to,

yeah,

you know.

And you guys are an inspiration of that. And I'm honored, I am so deeply honored that you would invite me to be a part of your show. And when you know it, it is beautiful, how aligned we are, and how, how, really the purpose of my writing the trifecta of joy. And think, and I'm so grateful, you know, to spirit for making it an Amazon number one best seller, because I know it's it's impacting people. And at the end of the day, you know, my purpose in life, really, is to inspire hope. And, guys, you guys are inspirations of hope.

Thank you. So beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, well, we definitely have a treat for you coming up wherever you interview us. So

Oh, my gosh, I can't wait. Well, I cannot wait to interview you. You know what I wanted to actually offer a gift to your listeners too. So it is a guide book that goes with my that goes with my book that is available on Amazon. So the book is the book to purchase is called trifecta, the trifecta of joy by Tanya Gill. But they can download the free guidebook and and just start doing it themselves, even without purchasing the book. And they just have to go to www free Joy book.com.

All right,

I'll definitely include it in the show notes. If you could send me the seven email of instructions. With all this, I'll put in the show notes.

I would love to thank you guys so so much. And this is amazing.

Yeah. And that is your book available on Audible.

My book is Oh, my friend. So right now I only have it in print version. However, I have started recording the audible version. And as soon as audible version is available, I will absolutely 100% Make sure that you both have your complimentary copies.

Oh, wonderful. Because yeah, that's how I know.

Exactly. Or on the books app on the iPhone and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I'll have it in all those places, you bet, right?

Well, awesome. Well, I know of course, we're gonna you're gonna interview us as well. And, and, but so I see. So I like how you turn your, you took your tragedy you had you turned it into something good by spreading a positive light than others.

Yeah, you know what it's an if it is and it's a process, but it is about self love and it's about being able to shine your light and lean into that true trust with awareness, befriending your inner critic and raising your vibration.

And when your mom asked me when Mexico was this way, oh, it was in Cancun? Yeah, cuz I don't know if you read my bio. I also grew up there as well.

So knew that. I didn't know that.

Yeah, that happens a lot. Unfortunately, a lot of young a lot of accidents are happening in the ocean.

Yeah. So um, so tell us how did you get started with your journey with helping women?

Oh, this is such a great question. Yeah. Yeah. So you know, what happened was, you remember how we were talking about change. So I lost my husband 15 years ago, and I solo parented for 13 years. And then I met my second soulmate. And I had a, I had gone back to school. And I was previously, I had previously been a teacher and had other professions. And then I went back to school and became a registered social worker, and I was a social worker, and everything in life seems to be going really well. And I married my second love in a backyard pandemic wedding. And then it happened. I actually burned out. And it was like, literally one day, I just couldn't. And I actually said to my doctor, I can't. And she said, What? And I said anything. And I, and this is another example of change, right? Because had I been paying attention to myself, I would have seen it coming. But I didn't see it coming. And so it was one of those changes where I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. And it was almost like revisiting the loss of my husband, because the grief of the change was so deep. And so what I realized was, and this is the sad part, you guys, the sad part is that, at that point in my life, I had spent 40 years of my life dieting, and I really, truly believed that the reason I was burning out was because of my weight. And I had done every diet in the world, every extreme in the world, that actually doesn't even make sense. What happened as I was trying to recover from this burnout and seeing a therapist once a week, I decided I wanted to start loving myself. And I decided I was going to do a diet because that was what I knew. But I decided it was going to be without any deprivation. And it was going to only come from love. And my body changed. But what happened more importantly, and most importantly, was that my experience of living life now and loving life now changed. And that for me was like Willy Wonka's golden ticket. Wow, good. It was like, oh my god, I figured it out. And it's not even about the weight. It's about loving yourself where you are and then living with awareness, befriending your inner critic raising your vibration and joy. Like not waiting until and that's why I love you guys. Because you know, guys, you guys are let's do this

exactly

what to get this straight what caused you to have a burnout?

You know what I was a social worker who was dealing with a very heavy and very intense caseload where there was a lot of grief that was unprocessed. And I was just a busy I was a busy mom. And I more than anything, was one of those people who said yes, more than she should have. And, and was a perfectionist.

You should there's no reason to be perfect because nobody's perfect.

And you know why guys, that's why I call my company perfectly imperfect life coaching.

There you go. You know, a lot of a lot of people, I think they unintentionally are perfectionist, because they just want everything to be just right. Yeah. And sometimes they get angry if if one little thing goes, go wrong goes awry, or whatever. It's like, okay, well, that ain't good. You know, but it's important to take. Doing something wrong as just a learning experience as feedback.

Yeah.

As we mentioned in our other podcasts with Michael Hinkson, I pretty much said that failure is part of success, because you learn from it so that you can grow even more. Yeah. Right. And it's the acronym first attempt in learning. And it also could be the fifth attempt in learning.

Or it could be a fucking attempt in learning.

Oh, I see.

Right, but, but really, you're right. Like, oh, Tyler, you nailed it. It is about learning.

It's about learning, there's nothing wrong with failure. Now, if you fail, and you're obviously you shouldn't be that's different, because then you're not obviously doing something, right. But if you're failing, even though you're trying, that's different. There's a distinction. You know,

there's a distinction between sitting on the couch and saying, I'm going to make change happen, but then expecting it all to happen for you right into it, or stepping into it. And learning along the way.

Exactly.

Wow, well, we're all on this journey for a reason and we all all we can do is make the best of it. And your story is just inspired me so much.

Thank you. Thank you, sailor. I appreciate being able to be a guest on on your podcast now.

So yeah, we're gonna switch it over to you. Okay. So let's, before we do, what are your future goals? And the golden question, what is it Tyler?

for our future goal?

Now for the podcast? We ask everybody on a close if you will get by switch.

Oh, what advice would you give us? Any to anybody who's anyone who's struggling in life? And now he doesn't know where to turn? Turns of hope? Yeah.

Wow.

Like anyone who like feels helpless?

Yeah. Wow. Okay. Whose question Would you like me to answer for?

Well, yeah, what are your future goals first?

Okay, sailor, i'll answer your question. First, what are my future goals? My future goals are to obviously get an audio book so that you can listen to it. My other future goals are to spread love and light throughout the world, as far and wide as source will allow. And if, and if I may be so bold as to say, one of my future goals is to be on the Drew Barrymore show. Because I think she's an incredible inspiration. I believe that she, you know, has been through her own adversity, and she's been authentic about it. So I just feel like she's my she's like a sister from another mister. Although given her childhood, our misters may not have been that different. But you know, like, I That's a dream. That is actually no, that's not a dream. That's a goal. But more than anything spreading love and light as far as source will allow. That's so good. Because we all need that. Especially the past couple of years.

They've been difficult due to COVID Gosh, out 2020 is never repeated again, right?

Or, oh, yeah, horrible.

Okay, now, okay, now, I'm sorry, Tyler. After all of that good do too. I need you to repeat your question.

Okay, so What advice would you give those who are listening right now? Who don't feel like there's hope in their current circumstance

And don't know where to turn

and don't know where to turn and don't know where to turn?

I, that is such a powerful question. Yes. And I think the reason it is so powerful is because my head wants to give you some logic eally bla bla bla bla bla bla bla, and I can feel in my body, this incredible sensation about how important it is to be real with you. so and so. And so my spirit says, if someone really truly feels like they have no hope. They need to remind themselves of the light with him. And that we are never alone. We have divine spirit with us, we have a humanity with us. We have the earth that nurtures us, we have energy all around us, whether you want to call them angels, or guardians or guides or God or we are never alone. And so if if you really feel like you've lost all hope, to tap into that light for a moment, and remind yourself that you're not alone. And then take the next step, which is to trust yourself to find someone who will be on the path with you.

Tyler Evans:

Saylor Cooper:

Tanya Gill:

Saylor Cooper:

Tanya Gill:

Tyler Evans: