If you see me, I’m different than yesterday
Tomorrow, a ghost, a kindred spirit you could say
To someone familiar, with a past like mine
A girl who always answers, “I’m just fine”
If you see me, I’m scanning I assume
Catastrophes, threats, looming doom
My brain searching, a panic to cling
Never at peace, an aching sting
If you see me, my mind is fixated
My thoughts race, inundated
My past creeps in, takes ahold
I’ve never encountered something so bold
If you see me, I’m questioning everything
Self-worth, confidence, the value I bring
I cross my arms, offering myself a hug
Recognizing the holes that have been dug
If you see me, my heart is in my throat
Feeling lost at sea, a forever vanished boat
I wave, I smile, I search for a sign
A girl who always answers, “I’m just fine”
If you see me, I’d rather you not
I’m just a particle, a tiny dot
Woven into fabric that cannot be worn
Damaged, dirty, the opposite of adorn
If you see me, know you’ve made a difference
Optical illusions, guesses, silly inferences
I reserve judgment, I’m not always sad
I scribble I’m fine on a yellow lined pad
If you see me, not everything is shit
I refuse to give up, I refuse to quit
I am grateful for the life we built
Truth is, I just feel a lot of guilt
If you see me, I thought I was immune
Grief took over, impaled with a harpoon
I promise, it’s only temporary
I’ll try to leave it at the cemetery
If you see me, I’m doing my best
Jenn in Wonderland, be my guest
Rachel, Becky, whoever’s in line
A girl who, genuinely, is just fine