The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe / Clontarf Classic Blend

0:00 In 2005, director Andrew Adamson and starred Georgie Henley gave the world an earnest interpretation of one of the world's most beloved children's books. In 2024 we go cheap and we go Irish. The film is The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. The Whiskey is Clontarf Classic Blend, or as I like to call it, the Clonicles of Tarfia. Hey, we will be reviewing both of those chronicles, Bob. This is the the. Filming Whiskey Podcast Welcome to the Film and Whiskey Podcast, where each week we review a classic movie and a glass of whiskey.

1:04 I'm Bob Buck. I'm Brad G. And today we are looking at the third highest grossing film of 2005. The Chronicles of Narnia, Colon, The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe. Now, Brad, I've already said something that I feel like I need to correct. I said this was the third highest grossing film of the year. It was on a worldwide scale. On a domestic scale it was the 4th highest grossing film of the year. And once again we find ourselves in the middle of this season where we are reviewing high grossing films with a fork in the road. We have reviewed the top two grossing films of this year, which were Star Wars Episode 3. And what was the other one? Who cares?

1:45 Cause Star Wars Episode 3. What a movie, man. Oh, A Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Oh yeah, and so yeah, three and four were either Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds or The Chronicles of Narnia. Which I I want to watch War of the Worlds at some point. It is a fantastic movie until like, the last five minutes, and even then it's still a really good movie. I have a sneaking suspicion we'll probably watch it someday. We we just like Spielberg. So I'm I'm assuming that we're going to continue watching Spielberg stuff the farther we get into this podcast, you know? Speaking of Tom Cruise. We had first thing, we hadn't spoken of Tom Cruise, but but go ahead. Literally yesterday Baba, I was running an event for my for my work and we had a participant from Singapore and she told me that I looked like Tom Cruise.

2:39 Wow. And I said, I am that short. Thank you so much for the compliment. I'm not going to, I'm not going to crash that. Dream for you. It made my day, man. Yeah, I bet it did. I'm not going to say anything else. You You know what, Brad? You do look like Tom Cruise. That's right. I do. All right. Let's get into talking about the Chronicles of Narnia folks. If this is your first time listening to our podcast, we want to say hello. Welcome in This is the Film and Whiskey Podcast. We watch movies. We drink whiskey this year. We are looking at the highest grossing films of each year from 1988 to 2019. Brad, as I've been saying the last few weeks, we are in the sort of calm before the storm where even though we're starting to get into IP Ville here and Disneyville, it still seems like these are real movies, You know what I mean?

3:29 Like, this seemed like a big deal of a movie when it came out, at least for Disney. Oh, Chronicles was huge when it came out. I I remember it like, really doing it. It really made big waves, partially like in the Christian world, 'cause it's a it's an A Christian IP that was taken seriously, but also in the general populace, it seemed like people really liked this movie. Yeah, especially people of a certain age. This was, I think it did have the the spectre of Disney hanging over it. And it was. I think when people looked at it less generously, it was always looked at as kind of this is Disney's knock off of Lord of the Rings and it is both not as good as Lord of the Rings and also has to be PG. And so it can't be as good as Lord of the Rings. And I think that was always kind of hindering it a little bit. But at the end of the day, this is an adaptation of a children's book and you can argue that Lord of the Rings is. I wouldn't say that about Lord of the Rings, but. No, This is The Hobbit is a adaptation of The Children. Exactly.

4:28 And I will say I think this is better than the adaptations of The Hobbit in a number of ways. You're deck on, right? It is, Bob. You don't. You don't have Benedict's Cumberbatch saying I am death at the end of the film, which is the only. That's the best part of the whole trilogy. Not just the best, the only good part of those trilogies. All right. So as we can start looking at Narnia, Brad, what is your association with this IP like? Did you grow up reading the books? Did you grow up watching the movies? Where where are we on Narnia? As a as a podcast? Yeah, I I love Narnia. I grew up reading the books. I remember I, you know how you have like early memories where you're like, I don't remember anything else that was happening. But I have a vague memory of being like 7 and watching the old, I believe, BBC like television movies. Do you know what I'm talking about? So I I do recall watching Eustace turn into a dragon and back on the BBCTV show that's that's emblazoned upon my memory.

5:34 So I yeah, I have been very closely affiliated with Lewis's works here for for a long, long time and I remember when this came out, being very excited. Yeah, and I'm in the opposite camp. I mean, I didn't. I didn't grow up Christian and I didn't grow up reading fantasy. So like, that kind of took me out of the running for being a Narnia fan. And so, you know, after I became a Christian later in life and went to college and studied theology, CS Lewis's books, non Narnia books were always recommended to me. And I I love Lewis, and Mere Christianity is one of my favorite books of all time. Dude, the Great Divorce. Oh, dude, I love The Great Divorce so much. It's so good.

6:15 That's my let's make it a double. Read The Great Divorce and then watch this movie. Yes, yes. But I will say like it, it came with that sort of, like, evangelical snootiness that people would be like, you never read Narnia. You never watch Narnia. No, I didn't. Super funny because, like, Lewis is so Catholic. And also, but Lewis has a great quote about chronological snobbery, and I think that goes over a lot of Christians heads anyway. So at some point I was just like, I'm not going to read Narnia. It was more of like a stamp my foot and cross my arms. Like I don't need Narnia. I'm going to read Harry Potter. I don't need Narnia. I was already past the target age and I was reading Lewis's stuff for adults and loving it, and people were like, well, you don't know about Aslan.

7:00 I'm like, you. Who the hell cares? You know what I mean? Like, mind your business. So my association with Narnia was way different. And I think, honestly, this movie was probably my first exposure to the world of Narnia at all. And so it's a really interesting place to start, because being familiar with the books now, it is both a pretty faithful adaptation of the book and also kind of a lackluster adaptation of the book in a lot of ways. And I'm excited to dive into talking to you about it, Brad, because Lord of the Rings this is not. But I do think that it is a pretty good movie on its own merits and not just a pretty good Lord of the Rings knockoff. Yeah, 100%.

7:40 I as I was watching this film, you feel the Lord of the Rings influence, like pushing this movie forward. And yet this movie remains too silly to ever like. Dive into the depths that Lord of the Rings has created for sure and and the beautiful thing is it should be silly. Like you're following a group of four children who become Knights in a matter of a day and they're they're all of a sudden they're kingly because Aslan says that they're kingly. Like there's so much more going on here than just what you see on the screen and that makes it it is what it is.

8:27 And I I I think when you look at what it's trying to do, I think it does a a relatively good job. Yeah, I'm kind of in that place too. And and it is OK to watch a movie that is pretty good. And honestly, Brad, it's kind of freeing for this podcast because when we watch movies that have reputations of being greats, then it's like, Oh my gosh, we have we have the weight of critical consensus on our side here or we're working against us and now it's like we're just watching a movie that's pretty good. It's got a 6.9 on IMDb and we can talk about. Like a little low, a little low. But like, not terribly low. I was surprised to see it under seven. I I would have thought it was like a 7273.

9:10 All right, man, Let's get into our first segment of the day, which we call. Brad explains. Brad's going to give us the movie plots with only 60 seconds ticking on the clock, so let's go ahead and hear your take with this little segment that we call. Brad explains. Brad Explains is the part of the podcast where Brad breaks down the plot of the movie that he has just seen, often for the first time. I have not asked you this yet, Brad. How many times have you seen this movie? This is probably in, you know, one of my highest watched films about 3-4 times. This is time #2 for me. I saw this in the theater in 2005.

9:50 I have not seen it since. So it's kind of cool to revisit because I remember like vague things about it. I remember certain images or I thought I did and and it was really nice to revisit it after almost 2 decades and get a better picture of what the movie actually is versus what I've made it out to be, which is just a knock off Lord of the Rings. Honestly, that's kind of how I felt last week with passion, where I'm like, yeah, I like vaguely remember watching that. Like I think twice. Like, right when it came out. And then I hadn't seen it in 20 years and was like, yeah, I kind of remember some, you know, weird old baby stuff. But I I don't know. I cried a lot. Can I tell you a a quick story about the Passion of Christ?

10:31 So in my town growing up, there was the like the Multiplex movie theater and then there was a theater across town that only had one screen. It was like a big old movie theater and they would get second run movies. And I had seen The Passion with a church group when it first came out at the Multiplex and then like three months later it was playing at the other theater. And one of my friends had said like, I really want to see The Passion, but I I haven't had a chance. And so we we went to see The Passion of the Christ together in this big empty movie theater where, like, the only other person in the movie theater sat in the row right behind us. And we're like 14 years old. And of course, like we're teenagers, so we're hungry all the time. So we get a big bucket of popcorn to watch The Crucifixion of Christ. And like mid Crucifixion, the bucket of popcorn falls off my lap and lands on like all the way upside down on the floor. And when we try to pick it up, all the popcorn spills out. And so now we're giggling, and we're trying to kick the popcorn, like, under the chairs in front of us to tide the evidence.

11:30 It was perhaps the most sacrilegious thing I've ever done, Brad. It was that it was an accident. But my memory of the passion is like, this is what you're doing while the crucifixion is happening. Dude, I can just see it now. I am making all things new, mother. Popcorn. Everywhere, everywhere. All right. On that note, Brad, you have 60 seconds to break down the plot of this movie, The Chronicles of Narnia, and go. During World War Two. Oh wait, Bob. You you you didn't get to pass the intro in there, yeah. The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe is a film about the four Pevency children who are shipped off in the middle of World War 2 to the country of the side of England.

12:17 They live in a house owned by an old, eccentric professor. In the midst of exploring the house, they find themselves lost in a magical wardrobe where whereupon they stumble into a land an entire country called Narnia. Once they're in Narnia, Lucy goes 1st and comes back and tries to convince her brothers and sisters about it. Edmund goes at some point as enchanted by the White Witch, who tells him to bring his siblings back to her. Eventually they all make it in. The White Witch captures Edmund. The other three siblings go on an adventure to find Aslan who will help them save Edmund. Once they are there, they save Edmund, but Aslan has to sacrifice his life for Edmund's betrayal, upon which Aslan has a deeper magic is resurrected.

13:09 Definitely not like last week's movie. And he saves the day killing the white witch. And dude, when Aslan says it is finished. Oh, come on man, get out Bob. You can go kick, Ross. It's fine. It's fine. There's there's really good moments in this movie. That one didn't quite land for me. Oh man. Here's The thing is, like in the book there there's certain things that I think are not unadaptable but certainly lost in translation when you when you adapt from one medium to the next. And one of the famous lines from the book is right at the end of the movie here as well, where where they say Aslan is not a tame lion, but he's a good one. And like when you read that in the context of the theology of the book and this is a very obvious naked metaphor for the death and resurrection of Christ. And when you when I know right when you read that in the book, it's like, oh, that hits really hard in the context of the movie.

14:13 It's just dialogue between Tumnus and Lucy. And it it just kind of doesn't like. It's just two lines that are split between 2 characters and you almost don't really hear it. It doesn't land with the same impact. And in the book, yes, as land doing those things and saying it is finished, like absolutely, yeah, 'cause I 'cause it's right there and I get it, 'cause I'm seeing, I'm seeing the words. It just doesn't quite work as well for me in the context of this movie. And sure, you know, it's not that it doesn't work at all. It's just that you're kind of like at the Leonardo DiCaprio pointing at the screen meme. You're like, I see it. I see what you did there, Jesus. Yeah, IIA 100% agree with you on the Aslan's not a safe lion, but he's good like like that.

15:01 Just didn't feel. It just felt like, weird. Partially because they never set up that he's like not safe. Like, I don't know. Yeah, it feels like that line would have been better if it was. And I think in the book it's when Beaver is describing as and that that would make a lot more sense than like as he's leaving the scene, like, Oh yeah, he's not safe, but he's good. It's like, well, we already knew that he was good. And also that he's not tame and we just saw him eat a woman's face like 3 minutes ago. What are you what are you talking about? Yeah, Tilda. Poor Tilda Swinton, man. Yeah, you know what Fun fact this is Apocryphal to the books. But after Aslan ate her face, he wandered off and became the main lion in the Siegfried and Roy show. Yeah.

15:51 Wow, that's really cool. I didn't know that. Just eating faces left and right. So Brad, oh, you mentioned something about how they don't really set up things in the movie. And that's one of my main points that I'd like to hear from you about. I say all the time like we don't need all this back story, like just get us into the movie. And I'm kind of like eating my words a little bit with this movie because. This whole season, man, I I feel like there's been a few movies where you're like, I want 10 more minutes of qui gon, Give me a back. Story baby. I know. And and this movie in particular, it's like, I think it's 1/2 hour too long. But I think that it also it needs to lose that half hour and then give like 4 minutes back into just giving me some sort of context for like where are these children living? Who is this guy?

16:37 What what's the relationship? Is he an uncle? Like, I don't. Did I miss a line of dialogue? And then all of a sudden, like, they find this wardrobe, they're in Narnia, they come back and they talk to the professor and he's like, yeah, I don't know, like maybe that does. That does happen and it's like, wait, what? Like, are you aware of the what's going on here? Not just any professor, Professor Horace Slughorn from Hogwarts. Of course, Jim Broadbent. My point being I don't feel like they really established and again, like he is not Narnia, so they want to get to the Narnia parts. I get that. But like, who is this man? From whence did this wardrobe come? How does he know about his magical powers? Like just a little bit of world building would have been really helpful there.

17:25 I I can't disagree with you more. I like, I think that the opening like 30 minutes of this movie are literally perfect. Like the the opening bombing scene is great. It establishes the characters and what they want and who they are And the the rift that is growing between the children and like them getting sent off to the country to somebody that they don't really know works perfectly because the film is is given from the viewpoint of the children. And so the children are being sent off to this weird eccentric uncle person that their mother knows that they don't know anything about.

18:08 And you discover things about the professor as they do. And I I just, I think that that part of it was perfect. You don't need the explanation. You just need to see it from the kids point of view so that you get that feeling of like uncertainty. And I I don't know what's going on and I'm away from home and I I don't know who this person is and this this housekeeper is kind of a bee and we're we're running away from her. And I I just, I think that if there's anything of this movie that needed needed to be explained more It's a lot of the stuff in Narnia that like when you started talking I thought you were going to say like, yeah there's so much stuff happening in Narnia that I wish I had more context for. And I would have said yes, I I'm with you 100%. But the opening part of the movie, man, I'm, I'm all in on that.

18:58 That for me was like a nine out of ten. I thought they were hitting on all cylinders. Cool. OK, so moving on, I just and again like it's it's a nitpick for me, but it's also the part of the movie that matters the least. So it's like I, you know, I'm not going to argue with with you on that. OK, let's dive into the performances here a little bit. And this is an interesting movie to talk about performances, because usually the child actors are the performances that we try to talk about, either the least or the last, because it's like you don't want to criticize kid performances. But this movie.

19:38 Boy, are we getting ready to. This movie is centered on four different child actor performances. Have you ever seen a movie with like 4? Lead child actors. No, I mean like, like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or like, you know, the old Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. But Yep, that's anchored by Grandpa Joe and and Gene Wilder. Like, yeah, the stars of this movie are four children. The youngest of which is like the most on screen. Yes, and they're all pretty good for children. Like you do have to grade them on the scale of children actors, but on the scale of children actors, they're all like an 8 out of 10 I would say.

20:20 Yeah, I was. That was the main thing I wanted to take note of. I think that if I had to rank them in terms of like who I think is is best, I would probably go. Lucy, Edmond and Susan are kind of both interchangeable in the middle for me. And I think that the oldest boy, Peter, I I don't have the actor's name pulled up. William Mosley. William Mosley I I think he's the least. There's moments where I'm like, oh he's a solid 8 1/2 out of 10 B actor. But there's also a few where I'm like, you don't really have any emotion going on in your face.

21:01 What's What's going on, dude? Yeah. And there's also a few moments where they ask the kids to have an outpouring of emotion and you can kind of see them straining for I need my body needs to produce tears right now. So it like and and that those kind of moments really do take a viewer out of the actual movie. At least they did for me. And you know, like when Aslan dies, spoiler alert, when when Aslan dies and we get them kind of weeping on his body. It's effective, but it could have been more effective. And I think that's kind of my my whole, if I could sum up my entire take on this movie, it's like it is effective. I am going to give this movie a good score.

21:42 But I was left wondering through most of the film, like how much more effective could this have been if only X? Like there was always something in almost every scene, whether it was man, if this was just a little bit, if the set didn't look so fake here, or if the CGI was a little better, or if this didn't have like AC minus director like something could have something could have made this movie better. Bob Salmon. Oh, I'm horror. Do we, Andrew? I was going to say, do we have a big Andrew Adamson fan in the house today? It's. Just a huge Adamson stand over here. Do we know any other movies he's directed? Well, let's see. He directed. No, he did Prince Caspian after this. Oh, he directed Shrek Two and Shrek One. He directed Shrek.

22:30 One dude. There you go. See, this is world famous Andrew Adamson. My guy. He's so forgettable that I literally wrote his name into my intro like 3 weeks ago for Shrek that I didn't even. November it Nope. All right, so let. I mean seriously though, my take being this is pretty good, it could be a lot better. Is that a fair take on the movie overall? I think it is. And I I think that the reason it it falls away from being great is because they don't. There's so much to put into this movie and and it's wild because the actual book of you know, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe isn't a long book. Like you're not you're not dealing with The Fellowship of the Ring.

23:24 And yet, I felt like they kind of rushed through so much of the Narnia stuff that I I was always left wanting to know more about Narnia. I think that everything through Edmund's visit to Narnia, everything after that just feels rushed and like, OK, I guess there's Santa now. And I I guess freaking Santa. Discount Dumbledore wanders into this movie. It's like, ho ho ho kids, here's a sword. Go fight a witch. Oh, that was one of the things that pissed Tolkien off about Lewis's books. He was like, listen man, you can't write fantasy and just put put Christmas like Santa Claus in your fantasy novel. That's not OK.

24:17 Tell me about Christmas and Narnia. Are they aware of the birth of Jesus Christ? Like what is going on? Dang. I better won't believe that they are. Oh man, I it's stuff like that that as an adult, I'm like, I'm kind of with Tolkien on this, but when you're a kid reading like Chronicles of Narnia, it's this moment of like they celebrate Christmas too. And like, you know, it feels like a cheap way of garnering audience, you know, approval. But when your audience is like 4 to 9 year olds, who cares? Man, everybody likes Christmas. So last week we reviewed, I guess two weeks ago we reviewed Pirates of the Caribbean, and you talked about how incredibly violent that movie was.

25:05 And I got to be honest man, I remember seeing this movie in the theater and being kind of like this is trying really hard to do the Battle of Pellinore Fields from the third Lord of the Rings. And this is a poor imitation of that. And I will eat my words from 15 year old Bob today, because the especially the first half of the battle, there is some really inventive camera work when you're following the the eagle bird, whatever they are as they're dropping the rocks on people. The the Griffin, Bob. Sure. Whatever they the rocks hit those guys with such impact and it's like, Oh yeah, this is so first point is Andrew Adamson, I will give you credit you you designed a really, really good half of a battle before they cut away to Aslan, 'cause I think the second-half of the battle is kind of poopy.

25:52 But yeah, but secondly, what a violent film this is to to secure APG rating. Many people getting slashed to death, getting faces eaten, getting crushed by rocks. No blood though. No blood so. It's totally OK, yeah. Do you think that there was blood when Aslan ate her face? Oh no, she's a she's a witch. She just kind of poofed into smoke. Yeah, and they cut back to Aslan and there's there's no, there's. No blood? No. Can you Can you imagine if there was just? Just like her. Her face. The entire just flap of her face just hanging from a tooth.

26:35 It's like in Return of the Jedi. Like he's like throwing her arm up in the air and like gobbling it down. Like he's the rancor burps some some of her dreadlocks out. Oh man, that would be incredible. Bob, I'm with you 100% on this battle. I think especially the first half is killer. I like the second-half. I think the fight between Peter and the White Witch is pretty well done. Not great for me. There's something about seeing like a traditional knight that I realized I was like, I don't know if I've ever seen in a movie a truly traditional knight who's like the main character fighting with, like old school, like chainmail and plate armor and a shield and a sword.

27:29 And there was something about that that I just it really, I really enjoyed that at the end of the fight scene, but do the opening part of the fight scene. I also don't know if I've ever seen such a cool geography laid out like they're fighting in this like hilly, like almost like a Scottish Highland crags and you see the armies like pouring through it like water. And I'm like, yeah, most fight scenes that you ever see. You know, Battle of Pelenor Fields, you know, all these famous things, they're either set around like a fortification, like Helms Deep, or they're just in a giant open, empty space.

28:09 And I like I thought the choice of geography was incredible for the final battle. I agree. And one of the things that has really bothered me about this movie, upon this rewatch, it had a $180 million budget. It was a huge budget for a movie like this, and it's really clear that they put a lot of that money into the CGI and they put a lot of the money into the special effects in the battle scene. And I think that especially in the first part of that battle scene, you get these huge sprawling kind of vistas. There's a lot of aerial shots where the camera is literally moving overhead. It's really well done and and you can see how much effort they put into the coverage and the filming of that sequence.

28:51 What really bothers me though is like, there are times in this movie where they'll just the the kids will just be like I I was right after they came out of the waterfall and you could tell that everything was green screened and it was like, wow, this must have been reshoots or something Because like there's some really bad green screening going on. And there are other times where it just seems like, oh, this is like this isn't even outside. This is on a set in a sound stage somewhere that you just covered in fake snow. And there are moments where the sets just look really chintzy in this movie. And it it kind of pulls me out of the movie. And I don't know if it's just the way they lit them, the way they filmed them, the lensing like, I just, I don't know enough about the the movie making magic that did not go into parts of this movie.

29:34 But like, you know, I have to imagine Lord of the Rings was the same. Everything there was, was built on sound stages. And yet those the way that they shoot those scenes, I think about like Rivendell and it's like Oh my gosh, like this is there's so much detail here and ministerith and the kind of grind that lives on the Whitestone of ministerith. It's like everything feels lived in, everything feels real, but it still feels massive and regal. And Narnia kind of feels like it exists in like a three square mile radius and they're like, yeah, we got to get over that hill there and that's like the end of Narnia. And so, like, you never feel like you're in this great, big world. And I think it's because of the limitations of the filmmaking.

30:16 And that's what really sucked is I wanted to. I wanted this to be a world I was curious about, but it felt like it was like a small village that I was getting curious about. I I think for me the reason that that all kind of comes about is with Lord of the Rings. You have this deep sense of adult adventure, like End of the world type of stuff. I think with Chronicles of Narnia, because the main characters are four children, like as the viewer you just feel like the stakes are lower. Like I don't know how else to describe it other than to say everything in the world feels a little more like a fairy tale than a fantasy, you you know what I mean?

31:04 Like Lord of the Rings is a fantasy adventure. Even though Tolkien like meant it as a fairy tale and Lewis's feels like a fairy tale, like it feels like a place that Tinkerbell would live in. Yes, so much more so than like, the grounded, gritty, real world built in Lord of the. Rings Well, and I think part of that is like Lord of the Rings has a very focused narrative of like this and then this, but this, so this and like everything that we've ever talked about with how to construct a compelling narrative. Whereas I think fairy tale is the perfect phrase for this Brad because like other fairy tales, even like Grimm brothers fairy tales, it's not so much about what happens in the fairy tale as it is about the moral that they're trying to teach and the moral here is the gospel.

31:49 So the the actual motivations for the characters sometimes feel a little muddy or non existent and they're told that there's a prophecy and that they're going to be kings and Queens. So let's go do this stuff. And they're then their brother gets kidnapped and they're like, OK, well now we have to rescue our brother. But it still feels like there are thinner character motivations here than there are throughout the Lord of the Rings. And it's because this is a fairy tale and Lord of the Rings is not. I think you really hit the nail on the head here. Yeah, and that's that is a key thing that I feel like is underdeveloped is the well, this is, this is a prophecy. And so you know that this is what's happening, dude.

32:31 All you have to do is have, like have a recall. So like you, they're in Beaver's Hut talking to Mr. and Mrs. Beaver and they're explaining the prophecy. And have you dude, have you seen the clip of the Great British Baking Show where the the woman brings up a cake that is a cartoon Beaver and the and the lady goes, let's talk about your Beaver. Listen, I like I watched this whole movie without chuckling. But what are you saying? They're in Beaver's Hut. He's like, what a euphemism.

33:12 I'm sorry. Please finish your point while I continue being juvenile. I'm trying to set the stage here, Bob. All you have to do is have Mr. Beaver tell the four children like the prophecy. Like, like line by line, like a poem. Read the prophecy. It's like, you know, 6 lines long. Doesn't take that long and have the music that Mister Tumnus plays on his little little flute to put Lucy to sleep. Have that playing like really softly in the background and boom, you have an epic scene with an epic prophecy and now all of the children, right? Because the movie is filmed from the children's perspective now, we, the audience and the children have received the prophecy and it's been placed upon us and we feel the mysticism and there's cool music playing in the background and and I'm like, oh, that's that's all you had to do.

34:05 And now you have the prophecy and you have your motivation. But instead it's just there's a prophecy. Go go go. Yeah, a prophecy that like you didn't even buy into. There's just a prophecy that people are going to come and then they are kings and you seem like those people, so go ahead. You're going to come and then then the Kings. Listen, dude. So one of the reviews that I read for this movie was from The New Yorker, and I almost sent you the passage. It was one of the funniest movie reviews I've ever read. And the the critic was talking about how the the story of Narnia has for decades stirred the souls of the faithful.

34:45 But then he says, it has also stirred the loins of professional Freudians. Then he laid out like the Why what the Freudian reading of this movie is. Uh, huh. First Lucy, then Edmund, then all four children feel their way uncertainly through the folds of a deep furry passage and into another world. And boy, oh boy, if that isn't the place where we need to break for whiskey, Brad. Yeah, Lewis the pedophile. That's that's definitely the take we wanted to come away with here. Let's drink some Clontarf. What do you say? I'm ready, man. Let's get to it. All right, so today we are checking out Clontarf 1014 Classic Blend Irish Whiskey.

35:36 Brad, this is a cheap, cheap Irish W1 that I've heard is good as a mixer and I picked it up on the OHLQ Ohio Liquor Last Call shelf because they stopped carrying this size of it or this bottle or something. It cost me like $11.00 and I said boy oh boy is that a film and whiskey selection right there. Heck yeah, dude. So this is made by Pernod Ricard. They have a subsidiary called Irish Distillers and they are the ones who create this brand. It's not attached to any particular distillery because it is a blended Irish whiskey. Apparently in Ireland there are other things that are released under the Clontarf brand, like a single malt, but in the States we only get this and so I am very excited to dive into this Brad. It's been a while since we've had a cheapo whiskey and it's been a minute since we've had an Irish whiskey, so like, we're just crossing things off the list here. Well, and this is perfect to pair with as the author of the famed Cronkles of Narnia is Irish. And probably a fan of cheap whiskey. I don't know, man.

36:40 I I could see Lewis and Tolkien putting down some really expensive Scotch. But also having debates with a just a giant glass of Clontarf in hand. Oh yeah dude, 100% all. Right, man, let's dive in. I'm drinking this live. You are drinking it in the past, apparently. I think you have notes to bring here, so. Yeah, hold on. Let me get my time machine and go back to when I was drinking it. Brad, what are you picking up on the nose of Clontarf? This is a a relatively pleasant nose. I think that it's got some it's got some floral notes, it has some like really nice light milk chocolatey things going on. There's some honeysuckle.

37:22 It it's overall a really pleasant, light, unoffensive nose. If I had to give a negative note, it feels young and that's what you'd expect. Here. I think it's decent. I'll give it a 6 1/2 Bob. Brad, I really like this nose for what it is. It is very light, very airy. If you look at the color of it in the glass. It is not a very dark whiskey, but it has what I love on a lot of these Irish whiskeys that Scotches sometimes don't have, which is a sort of almost like a floral heathery kind of note to it. It's like really deep honey and some floral as well. And I really like that. You can tell that it's gonna be a little bit harsh on the pallet, or it's at least hinting that way, but it's covered up really, really nicely by these softer notes.

38:09 I'm digging this, man. I'm gonna give it a 7 out of 10 on the nose. Yeah. I think as we get into the pallet here it the flavor drops off a little bit because it just there's a youth that underlies this that you can't get away from. But I will say it has some really nice vanilla notes that are strong for me. There's some rose petals, some toffee and the young grain taste isn't bad, but it is present. I I think I'll come down just a little bit from the nose, but I'll I'll stick it a six out of 10. I don't know how to say what I'm going to say in a moment without it sounding like super harsh on this whiskey. But when you're tasting whiskey for review purposes, you're not just sipping it and immediately swallowing it.

38:54 You're like swishing it around your mouth. You're kind of kicking it from the back front of your mouth to the back of your mouth on the front of the palate. This is like syrupy sweet, and it's actually pretty viscous too. I thought it was going to be super thin, but it coats the mouth really nicely. But it's it's almost sickly sweet. And when I went to kick it to the back of my mouth, it just hit this one small part of my tongue that I got like a really weird, like, really weird note on. And it almost made me gag for a second. Not because it was like it tasted so bad, but because I think it tipped something off in my brain that it was going to go to bad places. And so I was like, and then it didn't like it, just it it became a very sort of smoky, almost ashy, sort of bitter taste on the back of my tongue.

39:40 But what I'm left with is this sense that they're trying to cover up some of the harsher edges with a really sickly sweet flavor. Now they obviously are not. They're not adding anything to this. They're not doing that. But you can tell that this is not a a really high quality whiskey and BA, very well aged whiskey because those harsh edges are still there and they're it just kind of tastes like they dumped sugar on top of a pretty rough whiskey. It's not unpleasant, but I think my palate was trying to tip me off to something here. Brad, I'm going to give it a six out of 10 on the flavor. And I I probably sounded harsher than I meant to be, but at the end of the day, like this is a $18.00 bottle of whiskey for a reason. Yeah, yeah, 100%, man.

40:26 I think that the finish is fine. It's light and floral. I give it a 6 1/2 on the finish. I think a balance wise, I'll give it a 7 1/2. I don't think that there is anything wrong with this whiskey. I think that the negative notes are consistent throughout. The positive notes are consistent throughout. And so because of that, I'm not going to give it anything super high, but a 7 1/2 on the balance and Bob for 18 bucks like this is a really solid value. I'm going to give it a 7 1/2 out of 10 here. All right. So just to recap, I'm going to give mine, I'm going to go back to where you started finish. I'm going to give a 6 1/2 like you balance. I'll give a 7 1/2 like you.

41:09 And what'd you give on value? 7 1/2. Yeah, I mean, I think that this is about as good as you can find for $18.00. It's also like not a great whiskey. I'm not mad at it 'cause it's $18.00, but there's a there's an almost like Splenda sweetness to this on the on the back part of the palate and it's kind of hanging with me. I don't know if it would make a great mixer. I think it's a little bit too light to really stand up in a cocktail. You know, if you want to use this for Irish coffee or something like, go for it. But it's a nice little sipper when you have already had the good stuff. It's like Jesus at the the wedding at Cana. You know what I mean? Like drink your good whiskey and then bust out the Clontarf. I'll give it a 7 1/2 as well, Brad. And that's taking me to a 34.5 out of 50. Yeah, I am at a 34 out of 50 Bob. Like I think this is a solid Irish whiskey at a bargain price.

42:08 I would probably pay like $2324.00 for this. So at at a sub 20 price, you really can't beat this Bob. No, you can't. And we're coming out to a 34.25 out of 50 or 68 1/2 out of 100. That sounds a little low, like a 68 is like a failing grade. I actually think this is significantly better than that. But like at the end of the day it's pretty much a six whiskey across the board at a really good price point. I'm going to recommend this Brad. Like, you know, if you want to try an Irish whiskey just to get a sense of what it could taste like, this is not a bad place to start. Yeah, 100%, man. I I think that Klon Tarf is doing good stuff here. I kind of want to go to Ireland and try some of the things they have over there 'cause I can imagine a world where a little better age single malt would be really solid from this distillery.

43:02 This might have been the perfect thing to match up with this movie. Like, it is good and it it is clearly hinting at and mimicking other, better products. But like, I'm not mad at it, you know. Yeah, 100% dude. All right, let's get back into talking about the Chronicles of Narnia. What do you say? All right, everybody. That was Clontarf. Something, something, something, a whiskey that we really liked for what it was. Yeah, And it was something. Something something. Yeah, What? What was it actually called? Clontarf Classic Blend. Ah, that good old classic blend. I do still like calling it the clonicles of Tarpia, so continue doing that. The clontarficles of Narnia.

43:51 All right, Brad, after we took a week off last week, I am very eager to get into our next game, which we call 2 facts and a falsehood. Brad is going to try to stump your bomb. Two are right and what is wrong? 2 facts and a falsehood. 2 Facts and a Falsehood is the part of the show where Brad presents me with three items as fact about the making of this movie, one of which is a complete lie and I have to figure out which one that is. Last week Brad said that he felt guilty because he didn't want to shame Catholic Jesus and so we took took a week off. I'm going to claim it as a moral victory, if nothing else.

44:32 My record is. This Jesus dying on the cross for your sins is a moral victory for you Bob. Yeah. It's not gone right. That's a That's a trick. Question. I was gonna say, wait a minute. I think I understand how this works. All right, so I'm sitting at 11:00 and 6:00 on the season. Brad, let's see what you got. Hit me with your two facts and a falsehood. Fact #1. The wardrobe featured in the film belonged to Lord Lord, Lord George Cummington, Earl of Belfast, CS Lewis's hometown. Covington's father shared a friendship with Lewis himself, prompting his son to offer the wardrobe for use in the film as a tribute.

45:16 Fact #2 When the adults swearing got out of hand on set, Georgie Henley, who played Lucy, set up a swear jar. James McAvoy was supposedly the worst offender. Even her teenage costars had to pay their toll. Fact #3, the movie was primarily shot in chronological order, with the exception of the final scene where the Pevencies fall out of the wardrobe. That scene was shot before all of the outdoor shots, so that the kids would still be pale and look like they had and look like they had at the film's beginning. OK, I'm just going to say this now. We have already made mention of the Freudian reading of this movie and we have made fun of the word Beaver. So I really hope that you didn't just make up a character named Lord Cummington.

46:03 That's all I'm gonna say. I'm gonna, I'm gonna take it. I'm just gonna hope that one is true. I'm not gonna pick it as the falsehoods because the Freudian reading will be really weird if that's the falsehood. So #2 or #3? I don't know man, #2 sounds really plausible. And James McAvoy loves to drop an F bomb in a lot of movies #3 sounds really plausible too, because not just because the kids are are pale in those sequences, but a lot of times you only have locations secured for a few days so you have to shoot everything you can there. Brad, I'm going to say that Three is the falsehood because they just didn't shoot it in chronological order anyway, and I have no other reason for saying that other than I just don't want it to be Lord Cummington.

46:56 Bob, do you know why #2 and #3 sounded so plausible? Because they're facts. Because they're facts, baby. You made-up Lord Cummington. I did not. I googled, make up a British name and it came up with Lord George Cummington. It is spelled COMING. Sure it is, Brad. It sure is. Anytime that was so, that was not a creation of of my own. It was Google having a a bit of a edible, complex Freudian Freudian thing. Anytime we watch a movie that you'd say is dirty. From now on, I'm just going to say, oh, what did Lord Cummington show up?

47:42 All right. I will take my L Lord Cummington got me again. Brad he. Got you again. When did he get you? The first time. Don't ask, don't ask. Bro, this is this is a children's movie. Let's get back into talking about Marnia and Brad. We haven't talked about Tilda Swinton, who is the top build person in this movie. Really interesting career Tilda Swinton has had. She's been an working actress since at least the 90s, maybe earlier than that. She's an indie darling. She's still working in an independent film a lot and like she is known amongst the general population for being like the weird looking one. And I I hate to say it like that, but like she's a very interesting looking face. She's a phenomenal actress and I had some weird struggles with her performance here.

48:31 Not because she's bad, but I almost feel like she's she gave this move, this character, too many layers for the movie that was being made around her. She's like she's developing a very complex character because the White Witch is not just like, I'm going to shout at you and be demonically evil. She's cunning and she's really, really good at tricking. Especially that scene with Edmund at the beginning, She's it's like chilling how you're watching her manipulate a child. She's not playing it with like a wink to the camera. She's not playing it as I'm, you know, the witch with an apple seducing Snow White. It's it's like psychological damage. She's doing this kid and it's played so well, but it almost feels like the movie paints in really broad strokes and it almost needed somebody who was more of a standard cartoonish villain.

49:27 And so I feel weird saying that like the performance doesn't work, but it it kind of doesn't work because she's doing more than the movies doing around her. Bob, you know what? You just said? Tilda Swinton is too good for this movie. Kind of. I mean, yeah. I think there's a version of this performance that she's just like, OK, like, I'm just gonna do the, like, Jeremy Irons as Scar, like just ham it up, you know, and and it's great. But she doesn't do that. She's trying something more subtle here and it kind of just sticks out like a sore thumb, if I'm being honest. Oh man, I I will.

50:08 I have watched enough movies and reviewed enough with you, Bob, to know that you are not the Snooty cinephile. But but Tilda turns in a hell of a performance here. I like. I don't know what there is to complain. She gives this movie a depth that would not exist without her. I think the movie could work with a Jeremy Irons a scar type performance. Like, I'm not saying that that part of the point is invalid. I guess what I'm saying is of all the performances in this movie, Tilda Swinton is an A+ and she doesn't need to be. She could take her paycheck. That's what I'm saying like. A garbage performance, but she doesn't. This is this is Michael Caine with a bunch of freaking Muppets around him and it makes the movie better. And I am all in on Tilda Swinton here. That's a great analogy, dude, because I I agree with the analogy.

51:06 I don't agree that it makes the movie better and it's but it's not her fault so I'm not complaining about her. But it's like she is adding layers and layers of depth to a character that would be right at home in Lord of the Rings and and doesn't feel at home in this movie. And it's almost like, I don't know, I just felt like I was having the world of Narnia opened up to me. Every time I looked at her, I was like, what is this? I I feel wonderment at this character. And then every other character is just like, oi, I'm a Beaver, do you know what I mean? Like there's just there's no, there's no no other subtle things happening in the whole movie. Oi, I'm a Beaver.

51:48 That's my whole personality. Oh man. Although Ray Ray Winstone voicing that Beaver. Oh, he's incredible. It's so good. It's so good, man. Would you see him running around with armor on? You're like, yeah, why not? Of course. He's a warrior dude. The the little back and forth jibes or digs that Mister and Misses Beaver taking each other are incredible. And they're all somehow related to her cooking, you know? Yes. And she's like making fun of him for like, drinking too much with his buddy. It See that man. Those are the moments that work in this movie. Like when we get away from the Here's a quest you are. There's a prophecy.

52:37 Go, go, go, dude. When? When When Beaver looks at the stone version of Badger and like, you've heard the jokes with his wife about his relationship with Badger, and then you hear him go. He was my best. Dude, it's crushing. It's. So good. Those are the moments where this movie succeeds. It's kind of like an analogy that I would try to make is it's kind of like Dobby in the Harry Potter series, where Dobby is like they they made a vast improvement on the Jar Jar Binks prototype and they were like, this is Dobby and he's gonna kind of suck in the first film you see him in. Jar Jar 2.0. Yeah, 'cause, like you're like, oh, this is annoying as hell. And by the end of the movie he says Dobby is free. And you're like, yeah, Dobby Dobby's my boy. And then when you see Dobby die at the end of the 7th movie, you're like, that was one of the best characters ever made. I can't believe they just killed him. And I kind of feel like that with a lot of these side characters in Narnia.

53:36 James McAvoy is inspired casting for Mr. Tumnus. He's so good and he brings a much more like a much softer side of himself to that performance. I think Ray Winstone as Beaver is incredible and and I wish that there was that much care and attention and color given to the human characters in this movie because the Pevency children, while they are like the audience surrogate, they're also the blandest characters I would say in the whole film. Yeah, yeah, they they kind of are just a little bit. And I like, I think that that's OK the, the film doesn't necessarily need them to like Shine crazily bright.

54:17 But I don't know man, we're back to the Tilda Swinton thing. Like sure, everybody. It'd be better if everyone turned in an A+ performance. It would. It would be better this this band of four Mary hobbits that we have in these four children needed a Mary and Pippin, and they also needed a Frodo and Sam, and they didn't have any of those. Like, there's not fun characters represented in the four. And there's also not like the two characters you love the way there are Frodo and Sam, and I think they want it to be either Lucy and what's his sister's name, Susan or Lucy and Peter. But you don't really catch the bond between any of them that way.

54:59 And so that, like, you already don't have as much of an emotional connection with these kids. And then, Brad, if I can make perhaps my most controversial statement in an episode where we've talked about Lord Cummington, I have never wanted to watch a child die on screen more than Edmund. That kid sucked so much. And I look like I understand how the gospel works. I know that, Aslan. Jesus especially dies for Edmund specifically because he is the worst among us and it is a metaphor. I get that I do not care. I like as Land forgives Bob book. Does not that kid have you? Seen The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I have not, no.

55:42 Oh dude, you don't even know what you're in for. Oh, does Edmond get drawn and quartered 'cause I. Know so there is a Their cousin Eustace goes into Narnia with with Edmond and Lucy. And Eustace is like Edmond on steroids. He sucks so hard. He is so much worse than Edmond and I'm with you 100%. Edmond is the worst in this movie. He has the most punchable face of any 11 year old I've ever seen. He he is like, in this. I wish I could have thought about my Mount Rushmore of kids like this, but he has the kind of face that reminds me of Alfalfa from The Little Rascals, where it's like like every time you see that kid come on screen, you're like this fucking kid.

56:33 Like, you just like you just hate him and you want to punch him and he kind of looks like Alfalfa. And I don't know if you remember, but when the kid that played Alfalfa back in the 30s grew up, he was in It's a Wonderful Life for a Hot 2nd. And he's the kid that wanted to open the floor underneath George Bailey and make them all. Yeah, that's Alfalfa. That's Edmund. I hate both of those kids. And I like for the whole movie, I was like, man, why does Aslan have to forgive this kid? He's the worst. People died because of Edmund, and they're just like as like just like, oh, what's done is done. Like, whoa, hold on, Like, what about freaking Mr. Fox? He died because Edmond sucks.

57:13 Yeah, he sure did. And I liked Mr. Fox. I did too. Yeah. I'm sorry, I I had to get that off my chest. No, it's OK man. Any any other children you want to murder? No, just that one. For now. All of my rage has been directed to Edmond. OK, yeah, that's that's fine with me, man. Cool. All right, Brad. Well, I think with that off my chest, if there's nothing else about the film itself that you want to talk about, then it is time for us to get to our last segment of the day, which we call Let's make it a Double. We're near the end of the episode, so thanks listening to the film and whiskey show. Let's pair another film with this one, even if it's struggling. It's a final segment of the day. Now let's make it a double. Let's make it a double is the part of the show where we pick a movie to pair up with this one to make the perfect double feature. Brad, I'm anxious to hear yours because I think the most obvious comparison point is Lord of the Rings. But I doubt that you went with that. So I'd like to hear what you thought of for your let's make it a double.

58:11 You know, Bob, I, I was struggling with a movie to pick for this. I think a good a good pairing as far as like quality and enjoyability goes, because I think that Chronicles of Narnia is like a relatively high, enjoyably enjoyable film with like an above average quality of production. I'm going to pair it with Stardust from 2007. There's AI feel like there was 100 movies like this in the mid 2000s. There was another movie called Zathura that was kind of like like I didn't see compass, I didn't see any of them and they're all the same movie in my like I I've just jumbled all their posters together. So tell me about Stardust.

58:55 What's that movie? There is a young man who sees this beautiful girl, falls in love with her, follows her to like the edge of town, and it's almost like a magical version of what's the it's like the village or something. Is that the Shyamalan movie, where there's like at the edge of the woods there's others living out there? It's kind of like that where she disappears across this magical veil and he's trying to find her and he goes on this adventure to cross the magical veil and save her from this evil witch and and it's just kind of a generic fun action adventure movie that you know, it's it's nothing great. I think it has like a 7.57 point 6 on IMDb. So like, it's just a really fun action adventure fantasy movie. Nice.

59:48 All right, so Brad's pairing it with Stardust. I'm going to pick a movie called A Monster Calls. It's a really good movie, and I I haven't had a chance to recommend it before on this podcast. But essentially it's a movie about a kid whose mom has a terminal illness and he runs off every day into the woods and he kind of imagines this giant monster that he talks to. And it's a movie that's it's all about processing through grief and processing through trauma. The monster in the movie is voiced by Liam Neeson. It's an incredibly emotional movie and like just a really good way. I think you know it, it'd be better for teenagers, but it's a really good way to teach kids about processing through trauma and grief. And it has Liam Neeson voicing the the main monster of the movie.

1:00:37 But beyond the Liam Neeson of it all, I think it's just a really good example of how we can use creatures that aren't real to act as a metaphor for things that are happening in our lives or things that are happening kind of cosmically the way that Ashland does in this movie. So I really love this movie and I've never recommended it before. It's called A Monster Calls. All right, I I'm in. Man, that sounds really interesting. All right, Brad, let's give this movie some final scores. I'll go first. I don't think that this movie, I'm sure that there's someone out there that hates this movie. But what I think about this movie, I can't really see anybody giving it less than like A5. Like at at the worst reading of this movie is like it is mediocre. I also think that it's going to be hard to find anyone out there that thinks this movie is like a 10 and it just kind of feels like the natural bell curve of this movie is between A5 and an 8.

1:01:30 And so I I I look at the 6.9 on IMDb and I'm like it does look a little low, but I can see how it would land somewhere in there and you said like even a 7 two would make more sense. That's kind of where I'm at with this movie. It is like almost there in every facet and it kind of just depends on when you get out of this movie at the two hour and 20 minute mark, do you ultimately feel like it was a good investment of your time or a waste of your time? And I think that's what's going to determine, are you a six or A7 on this movie? I didn't think it was a waste of time. I like this movie quite a bit. I don't. I don't think I'll give it a 7 1/2, but I will give it a 7 out of 10. OK. I I think that that's a fair score Bob. I I am a little bit higher.

1:02:12 I really really enjoy this movie and and it's been an IP that I've liked for most of my life. I'm at an 8 out of 10. I I think that the the child performances are all as we said like B minus to B plus range. You have an incredible performance from Tilda Swinton and some of the voice actors from the animal characters. I I'm just I'm in on this movie man. It's a movie that I will come back to every three or four years like gladly and really enjoy it. All right, so we are at a 7.5 out of 10 on average. But we'd like to know what you think. How long has it been since you've seen The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe? I should say they did make two more movies. For me, it was 19 years.

1:02:58 Does anybody have my record beat? Because I'm pretty sure I saw it like opening weekend. So come join me, Brothers in Arms. Let us know what you thought of this movie. You can find us on all of our social media accounts Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tiktok or YouTube at Film Whiskey. Or you can jump onto the Discord. We are on there every single day talking to you guys, fans of the Film and Whiskey Podcast. If you want to join the conversation, you can find a link to our Discord at the end of every single one of our show notes. Next week we are just tipping things into Funville. For a week we're looking at a movie that I can't believe grossed this much money, but it is 2006's Night at the Museum. Fun fact. A film that Bob Book has never seen. What?

1:03:40 Yeah, I'm pretty pumped. I've never seen it before. So we'll be joined by a very special guest who'll be making his first time appearance on the show. So TuneIn next week for Night at the Museum. But until then, I'm Bob Book. I'm Brad G. And we'll see you next time.