April 25, 2024

Work-Life Balance is Overrated | Siqi Chen (father of 2, co-founder/CEO Runway)

Work-Life Balance is Overrated | Siqi Chen (father of 2, co-founder/CEO Runway)
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Work-Life Balance is Overrated | Siqi Chen (father of 2, co-founder/CEO Runway)

Siqi Chen is co-founder and CEO of Runway, the finance platform you don't hate. He was also the president, chief product officer and CEO of Sandbox VR, the VP of Growth at Postmates and he sold his first company to Zynga in 2010. He is an angel inves...

Siqi Chen is co-founder and CEO of Runway, the finance platform you don't hate. He was also the president, chief product officer and CEO of Sandbox VR, the VP of Growth at Postmates and he sold his first company to Zynga in 2010. He is an angel investor who has invested in companies like Touch of Modern, Amplitude, Italic, and Clubhouse. He is a husband and the father of two daughters. In today's conversation we discussed:

  • His life moving back-and-forth to China as a kid
  • The realities and myth of work-life balance
  • Sharing the load with your spouse
  • How his parenting and leadership has evolved over time
  • How to exercise with your kids and incorporate them into your day
  • Teaching kids how to use technology as a tool for leverage
  • A fascinating story of how his daughter uses ChatGPT

Where to find Siqi Chen

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/siqic/

Twitter / X: https://twitter.com/blader

Runway: https://runway.com/

Where to find Adam Fishman

- FishmanAF Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/

In this episode, we cover

[1:34] Welcome

[2:27] Work/life balance

[6:49] His childhood

[10:52] All about his kids

[11:30] How did you meet your wife?

[13:37] Decision to start a family

[15:33] Load balancing parenting

[18:50] Earliest memory of being a dad

[21:04] Most surprising thing about becoming a dad

[23:13] Giving younger self advice

[25:52] Advice to ignore

[27:45] Favorite book to read to his kids

[29:10] Frameworks

[32:35] Any parenting evolutions?

[35:11] Kids’ dynamic

[35:42] Where do you and your partner not align?

[37:47] Kid’s relationship with tech

[40:45] Most interesting way kids used ChatGPT

[43:11] What did you give up to be a dad?

[45:30] How do you recharge your batteries?

[46:10] What is a mistake you made as a dad?

[49:16] Rapid fire round

[53:31] Thank you

Show references:

The Matrix: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/

Transformers: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418279/

Scratch: https://scratch.mit.edu/

Talktastic: https://talktastic.com/

Amazing Panda Adventure: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112342/

Stanford: https://www.stanford.edu/

Bye Bye Baby: https://buybuybaby.com/

Dalian, China: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dalian

Peter Thiell, Thiel Scholarship: https://thielfellowship.org/

Unity: https://unity.com/

Gundam: https://en.gundam.info/

Postmates: https://postmates.com/

Sandbox VR: https://sandboxvr.com/

ChatGPT: https://chat.openai.com/

"Blub Blub Fish" Book: https://www.amazon.com/Pout-Pout-Fish-Deborah-Diesen/dp/0374360979

Work-life Balance is Overrated: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/siqic_work-life-balance-is-overrated-implicitly-activity-7161735570757550081-8Yd4

Second Time Founders Podcast reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=257w17EkYn4&t=1s

For sponsorship inquiries email: podcast@fishmana.com.

For Startup Dad Merch: www.startupdadshop.com

Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

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Siqi Chen: I'm like,
college is a waste of time.

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There's a Teal fellowship where
Peter Teal is paying people

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to not even go to college.

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And she's very much like, but
no, they're going to like meet

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people and they're going to be
credentialed and all these things.

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I'm like, who knows if Stanford
is even going to exist in years?

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Adam Fishman: We don't know.

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Welcome to Startup Dad,
the podcast where we dive.

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Deep into the lives of dads
who are also leaders in the

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world of startups and business.

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I'm your host, Adam Fishman.

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In today's conversation,
I sat down with Siqi Chen.

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Siqi is the co founder and CEO of Runway,
the finance platform you don't hate.

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He was also the president, chief
product officer, and CEO of SandboxVR.

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The VP of growth at Postmates and sold
his first company to Zynga in 2010.

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He is an angel investor who has invested
in companies like Touch of Modern,

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Amplitude, Italic, and Clubhouse.

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He's a husband and the
father of two daughters.

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In our conversation today, we spoke
about the idea of work life balance and

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how to accept the reality that work is a
part of life and life is a part of work.

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We talked about sharing the
load with your spouse, how to

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exercise with your kids, and using
technology as a tool for leverage.

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I loved hearing your thoughts.

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How Siki's oldest daughter is
creatively using chat GPT to build

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games and explore her curiosity.

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Siki shared his triumphs and
struggles transparently and openly.

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I hope you enjoy our conversation.

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I would like to welcome Siki
Chen to the Startup Dad podcast.

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Siki, it is a pleasure
having you here today.

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Thank you so much for joining me.

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Thanks for having me.

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I'm so excited to be here today.

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All right.

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We're going to jump right in.

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So first of all, I should say, I did
not know you were a dad until maybe

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you were added or we were both added
to a similar parenting WhatsApp group.

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And then the questions started
coming fast and furious about

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how do you teach your kids this?

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What do you do with this?

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And then I saw on LinkedIn, because
that is my home on the internet, that

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you had written a pretty extensive
and fairly popular post about.

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Work life balance.

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And I want to jump in and talk about that.

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I'm going to read a snippet of it.

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Great.

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And you said, work life
balance is overrated.

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Implicitly having to balance work and
life implies that they're separate things.

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The reality is that work is part of life.

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Life is part of work.

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Once you accept that reality, then you
open up the opportunity to integrate

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the two in a way that serves you
all around, rather than trying to

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trade them off against one another.

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I think that is a profound
assessment of work life balance.

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And so I was excited to talk
to you about this today.

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I feel like there are two
camps on work life balance.

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There's either the camp you are
in, which is like, it's a farce.

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You gotta like figure it out.

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It's work and life.

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They mash together.

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And then there's the other camp, which
is like, Oh, you must achieve the

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mythical balance between the work and
the life and like, there's a clear

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defined lines and things like that.

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So.

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I want to ask you, when did you come
to the realization or the opinion that

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you now hold about work life balance?

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And then how do you do this
integration versus trading them off?

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Siqi Chen: I think it's a mental
model that's crystallized probably

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over the past half a decade or so.

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As I started Runway and I also got
into more exercising than I did before.

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I've been running almost every day and
started boxing and, you know, just to

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break down that quote a little bit, you
know, it's not so much that I'm saying you

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have to work all the time or balance is
not important, but inherent in the divide

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between work and life, The phrase implies
that work is somehow not a part of life.

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And I think like that is to
me sort of a toxic mindset in

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terms of just mental health.

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It's important to spend
time with your family.

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It's important to exercise.

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And It's also important to have a
purpose in life when you're creating

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things with groups of people.

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That's all a part of life.

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And not thinking of them as trade
offs, but thinking about in terms

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of how one feeds into the other, I
find to be a lot more of a mentally

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healthy and balanced mindset to have.

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So for example, if the way you think
about work life balance is that there is

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a trade off between the two, then going
to the gym is a trade off against work.

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But in reality, it isn't.

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A healthy body gives you a healthy
mind and lets you be more productive.

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Spending time with your family, having
great personal relationships versus

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having a very unhealthy marriage.

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Also makes you not very good at work.

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And so it's the word that I have a problem
with and the mindset that word lends to

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that made me come to that realization

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Adam Fishman: and made
me want to write that.

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I love those two examples too.

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The exercise one, and then the having
a good relationship with your spouse.

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I completely agree on both.

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I think the exercise one is
fascinating because I often find

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I do a lot of creative work now,
writing and doing this podcast.

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And I often find that a lot of my
breakthroughs happen when I'm exercising.

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It's like it unlocks
another part of my brain.

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And when I'm not doing
that, I feel less creative.

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I don't feel like I'm tapping
into all those parts of me.

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So fascinating to think about that as
like an enabler versus a, an either or.

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Siqi Chen: And I think the subtle thing is
it goes in the other direction too, right?

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When you think about how you
develop a great work culture and

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who you want to be as a manager.

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You know, you think about, am I
supporting the people I'm working with?

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Am I listening to them?

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And often, for me, I, for a long time,
I realized, wow, am I putting as much

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intention in my relationship with my wife
as I am with the people I'm working with?

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Am I listening?

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Am I supporting?

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Would I have the same conversation that
I would have with my wife if I had the

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same mindset as I had with a report?

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And it goes in both directions too and
I think that's why like treating work

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as a separate thing that you spend time
on in order to earn the capital and

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the right to do other things I think is
inherently not a great mindset to have.

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Adam Fishman: Yeah.

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All right, well I want to go
back in time to Siki as a kid.

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So tell me about what
life was like growing up.

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Where did you grow up?

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What were you like as a kid?

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Siqi Chen: So I had a strange upbringing
in that I grew up in China, so I

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was born there in a northern part of
China called Dalian, and I was raised

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by my grandparents up to age four.

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And my parents were
actually in the States.

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So my dad was the first batch of
students after the Cultural Revolution

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to go to grad school in America.

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He was a physicist.

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And my mom was with him.

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And when I was four, I went to
America with my parents, who I had

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very rarely seen up to that point.

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And so we were in Salt Lake
City and Georgia and in LA as

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my dad worked location change.

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And at eight, my dad didn't
get tenure as a physicist.

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And so he was trying to figure out
how we're going to support the family.

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And so my mom and I, we actually
moved back to China with my extended

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family for four years, apart from
my dad, while he was like, trying

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to figure out how to get a job.

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And he ended up selling shore assorted
order for a time and ultimately

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got a job as a software engineer.

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And four years later,
we moved back with him.

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And so I was 12 when that happened.

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So between zero and 16, every
four years, I was rotating

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between China and United States.

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And at the time, it's just
seemed like when you're a kid,

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that's all, you know, right?

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It was like, this is my life.

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This is what happens.

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It's pretty normal.

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It's only looking back, especially after
you have children, you realize like

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that is a really unusual and strange
upbringing, but that's, that's, that's

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What my early life was like, the one
thing that I remember the most is like

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a single incident was, I remember riding
a tricycle in my grandparents yard,

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I think when I was like three or so.

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And I wanted to go outside of this yard,
and I was like pedaling my tricycle

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going out the door, and I think my
grandparents like closed the door.

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They wouldn't let me out, and I remember
not saying anything, but turning

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around and riding the bicycle the
other direction and right through the

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garden, the vegetable garden they have.

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And they're like, no, no, never
mind, come back, come back,

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and they open the door again.

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I'm like, okay, cool, I'll go outside.

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Somehow that reminds me of a lot of
like what has formed my personality

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over the next few decades.

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Adam Fishman: I was going to say sowing
your entrepreneurial roots, right?

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Right there.

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Well, if you close this door,
I'm just going to open my own.

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I'm going to trample through your garden.

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I love that.

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That is quite a wild, you know,
I mean, like you said, that's

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what you knew as a kid, but.

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Upon reflecting, you know, as an adult
and with your own family, like you

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probably haven't moved your family every
four years, clear across the world,

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back and forth and a lot of, you know,
popular reading would say, Hey, those are

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pretty formative years of a kid's life.

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Like that's a lot of disruption
and change and things like that.

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But.

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You seem to have turned out just fine.

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Uh, as far as I can tell
in this podcast, at least

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Siqi Chen: I'm doing all right.

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You know, like I think my
parents feel proud of where I am.

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I feel pretty good about where I've been.

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Life could be better, could be worse.

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Right.

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But yeah, I think that does make
you think, especially after you have

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children, they have a very different life.

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It is in almost every way.

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So it's actually more
comfortable and usual and normal.

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And to what extent is like that good?

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Yeah.

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Right.

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You know, there is a lot of very
successful people who have like,

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great childhoods, and then there
are successful people who are like,

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motivated by childhood trauma that's
haunted them for many, many years.

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Right?

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Like, you know, it must be
like our most famous example.

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00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,254
It does make you think.

199
00:10:36,315 --> 00:10:38,505
But I think that perspective
is helpful, right?

200
00:10:38,524 --> 00:10:40,935
You realize that it's okay.

201
00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:45,790
Like you can really mess things up and
they'll turn out the way they turn out.

202
00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:48,260
So it gives us a sense of equanimity when

203
00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:48,430
Adam Fishman: you're a

204
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:48,690
Siqi Chen: parent.

205
00:10:48,969 --> 00:10:51,620
Adam Fishman: That's a good
philosophy and approach to have.

206
00:10:51,629 --> 00:10:55,240
So you do have a partner and
two kids, which I alluded to.

207
00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:58,980
How old are your kids and how
many times should they have moved

208
00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:01,280
back and forth to China by now?

209
00:11:01,719 --> 00:11:04,640
Siqi Chen: Uh, two and
one times, respectively.

210
00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:05,979
But yeah, I have two daughters.

211
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:11,260
I have a daughter named Alessandra,
who's nine and our younger one is Mira

212
00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:20,199
and she's four and yeah, and I have a
partner, Yi Ding, and she is an investor,

213
00:11:20,209 --> 00:11:25,109
a stay at home mom, but in past life,
she was an actress and a movie producer.

214
00:11:25,109 --> 00:11:27,420
And we met in between those jobs.

215
00:11:28,705 --> 00:11:31,165
So how did the two of you meet?

216
00:11:31,325 --> 00:11:32,205
And I guess where?

217
00:11:32,564 --> 00:11:36,775
In the club is my usual answer,
but it was in the actual club.

218
00:11:36,814 --> 00:11:37,814
That's the cool answer.

219
00:11:37,835 --> 00:11:41,525
The less cool answer is it
was at an event at a club at

220
00:11:41,525 --> 00:11:42,755
the game developer conference.

221
00:11:45,635 --> 00:11:48,274
Adam Fishman: That is a decidedly
less cool answer, but I'll

222
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:48,634
Siqi Chen: allow it.

223
00:11:48,855 --> 00:11:53,235
So I was a game developer conference and
I just sold my first company to Zynga.

224
00:11:53,315 --> 00:11:56,064
And she was.

225
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,170
Gonna host the Chinese
version of The Apprentice.

226
00:12:00,425 --> 00:12:04,964
And so we got introduced through a
bunch of friends independently, like

227
00:12:04,964 --> 00:12:07,614
three or four different friends that
night said, Hey, you should meet so.

228
00:12:07,614 --> 00:12:14,244
And so, and we met and she told me she
wanted to build a game for this Chinese

229
00:12:14,244 --> 00:12:15,754
version of princess who's going to host.

230
00:12:16,404 --> 00:12:18,054
And I said, I'll do it.

231
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,005
I worked for Zynga.

232
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,435
I'm like really good at games.

233
00:12:20,435 --> 00:12:22,385
I wasn't going to do it, but
she was like really cute.

234
00:12:23,625 --> 00:12:25,855
And that's how we met
the best story about.

235
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:30,760
That moment in time was, you know,
one of our first conversations,

236
00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:35,120
so we started talking about pets
and she told me how she had a dog.

237
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:37,480
And this dog had a really funny name.

238
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,050
It was a German shepherd named cat.

239
00:12:40,319 --> 00:12:44,250
And I said, that is an
adorable name for a dog.

240
00:12:44,899 --> 00:12:48,050
And I told her, you know, I have a
cat and she's like, what's her name?

241
00:12:48,050 --> 00:12:49,300
I'm like, I named her dog.

242
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:53,860
And then she's like, no way.

243
00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:57,250
So my friend walks over and I said,
Mary, what's the name of my cat?

244
00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:57,760
She goes, dog.

245
00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:00,700
True story.

246
00:13:00,850 --> 00:13:03,870
Adam Fishman: And did you
actually have a cat named dog?

247
00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:08,959
Siqi Chen: No, I mean, my, my friend,
Mary, who was walking by, I asked her

248
00:13:09,059 --> 00:13:10,339
unprompted, what's the name of my cat?

249
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:12,620
She goes, dog, because that
was the name of my cat.

250
00:13:14,450 --> 00:13:15,070
Adam Fishman: Wow.

251
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:15,920
This is amazing.

252
00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:20,620
This is like, There never were a more
perfect union than that situation.

253
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:21,449
What are the odds?

254
00:13:21,540 --> 00:13:28,480
Game developers conference, apprentice,
you, uh, first time selling your company

255
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,310
to Zynga, cat named dog, dog named cat.

256
00:13:31,780 --> 00:13:33,389
I mean, it's amazing.

257
00:13:33,639 --> 00:13:34,429
What a match.

258
00:13:34,839 --> 00:13:35,239
So.

259
00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:38,839
What was the decision like for
the two of you to start a family?

260
00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:42,780
Siqi Chen: I don't know that it
was a decision that was made.

261
00:13:42,870 --> 00:13:43,270
Adam Fishman: Okay.

262
00:13:43,430 --> 00:13:47,849
Siqi Chen: We wanted to
get married and we did.

263
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,860
We ended up having three weddings, but
of course it'll be a year and a half.

264
00:13:51,519 --> 00:13:55,619
And after the wedding, we decided
that, yeah, we want to have kids.

265
00:13:55,630 --> 00:13:56,589
So we're going to start.

266
00:13:56,599 --> 00:13:58,419
And it happened very quickly.

267
00:13:58,619 --> 00:14:01,919
It happened, I think like nine
months after the wedding date.

268
00:14:02,569 --> 00:14:05,329
And I don't know that I was like
much of a conversation decision.

269
00:14:05,329 --> 00:14:06,939
It's like something that we.

270
00:14:07,465 --> 00:14:09,975
Kind of knew that we were going
to do after we got married.

271
00:14:10,315 --> 00:14:13,335
In retrospect, it probably should
have been more of a conversation.

272
00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:15,595
And why do you say that?

273
00:14:15,785 --> 00:14:21,455
I don't know that we were
communicating and being as prepared

274
00:14:21,455 --> 00:14:23,005
as we needed to be as parents.

275
00:14:23,625 --> 00:14:26,599
It just kind of seemed like the
next thing that you do in life.

276
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,490
You know, you meet somebody,
you get married, you have kids.

277
00:14:30,650 --> 00:14:34,530
I don't think we really like talked
through, okay, how is this going to work?

278
00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:36,110
What are the expectations?

279
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,900
And so we probably should have
had like more of a conversation

280
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:44,559
because when we discover that he was
pregnant, it was like, wait, wait,

281
00:14:45,370 --> 00:14:47,309
we didn't expect it to be that quick.

282
00:14:47,350 --> 00:14:48,179
Oh my God.

283
00:14:48,269 --> 00:14:48,669
Right.

284
00:14:49,049 --> 00:14:50,939
But you're never prepared for your first.

285
00:14:51,029 --> 00:14:54,180
And I think my impression though,
is that most parents have been

286
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:57,040
more intentional than we were
about that particular decision.

287
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:58,280
Adam Fishman: It's interesting.

288
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,750
And we're going to get into
some of that, some of what you

289
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:03,290
do now around intentionality.

290
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:09,850
But I have heard many founders come on
this show and talk about their company.

291
00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:15,319
As their other kid, in your
case, your third kid is runway.

292
00:15:15,750 --> 00:15:22,919
Now you don't strike me as a passive dad
that is only prioritizing that third kid.

293
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:23,540
Right?

294
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:26,689
So you do strike me as
someone who's fairly involved.

295
00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:30,700
You know, we've had some exchanges
about education and various other

296
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:31,930
things in our parenting groups.

297
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:37,339
So how do you and your wife load
balance the parenting responsibilities?

298
00:15:37,785 --> 00:15:40,705
In your house, I imagine that is
something that you eventually had

299
00:15:40,715 --> 00:15:47,085
to talk about and very likely after
pregnancy, but yeah, how do you two

300
00:15:47,105 --> 00:15:47,654
Siqi Chen: sort it out?

301
00:15:48,064 --> 00:15:53,395
I would say not so well for quite
a while, and this is like probably

302
00:15:53,425 --> 00:15:54,855
the biggest lesson learned.

303
00:15:54,864 --> 00:15:56,804
So this is nine years ago, right?

304
00:15:56,824 --> 00:16:00,725
And I was much younger than, and we
were not prepared and I was running

305
00:16:00,725 --> 00:16:01,915
a different startup at the time.

306
00:16:02,365 --> 00:16:04,645
And I think one of the
traps to get into is.

307
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:08,725
You know, she gave up her career and
decided to become a stay at home mom.

308
00:16:08,755 --> 00:16:09,935
I had a start up run.

309
00:16:10,385 --> 00:16:14,335
And there is some level of, like,
inevitable feeling of, like, this

310
00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:19,574
undertone of entitlement that you
have as a husband where, okay,

311
00:16:19,574 --> 00:16:22,804
well, she stays home and she's
going to take care of the kids.

312
00:16:22,805 --> 00:16:25,015
And I have a start up and it's
like more than a full time job.

313
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,165
It's going to spend a lot of time there.

314
00:16:26,275 --> 00:16:28,335
So, you know, I get to do the fun stuff.

315
00:16:28,425 --> 00:16:32,034
And that doesn't work, as you can
probably imagine, like, unsurprisingly.

316
00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:37,405
And so, You know, for me, the way
we've divided it up now is like

317
00:16:37,415 --> 00:16:39,455
almost every day or every other day.

318
00:16:39,585 --> 00:16:43,294
I take my older out for
a one to two hour run.

319
00:16:43,345 --> 00:16:45,855
And that's like one of the things
that we spend the most time on.

320
00:16:46,444 --> 00:16:47,354
And that's great.

321
00:16:47,365 --> 00:16:48,344
It's like part of life.

322
00:16:48,695 --> 00:16:49,684
Exercise is part of life.

323
00:16:49,684 --> 00:16:54,435
It's great for the company, but I get
to spend amazing time with my older one.

324
00:16:54,464 --> 00:16:56,425
I mean, we're running five
or six miles at a time.

325
00:16:56,425 --> 00:16:57,175
She loves it.

326
00:16:57,795 --> 00:16:58,885
That's one way we do it.

327
00:16:59,245 --> 00:17:00,425
And the other thing is.

328
00:17:00,910 --> 00:17:02,110
Dinner is sacrosanct.

329
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:06,169
It's on my calendar and the
requirement from the week read

330
00:17:06,169 --> 00:17:07,849
to is five out of seven days.

331
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,660
Like clockwork, we're going to have
like dinner and the other two days.

332
00:17:11,660 --> 00:17:11,839
Yeah.

333
00:17:11,839 --> 00:17:15,629
You get to like have a meeting or, you
know, go out and have dinner, but five

334
00:17:15,629 --> 00:17:17,300
out of seven days, that's the expectation.

335
00:17:17,709 --> 00:17:17,929
Yeah.

336
00:17:17,959 --> 00:17:18,619
That's a big one.

337
00:17:18,629 --> 00:17:20,429
And then outside of that education.

338
00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:23,220
What are the things that our kids
are going to do outside of class?

339
00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:24,109
How are they going to learn?

340
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:25,260
What classes are they going to take?

341
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:27,950
That is split, I think,
fairly evenly between the two.

342
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:32,229
So she does a lot of the writing and
extracurriculars and for things like,

343
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:35,470
oh, writing and reading and AI and math.

344
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:36,959
Adam Fishman: That's a lot of me.

345
00:17:37,385 --> 00:17:42,585
I love that you've identified very
explicit things and activities

346
00:17:42,585 --> 00:17:43,715
and actions that you do.

347
00:17:43,715 --> 00:17:46,875
And the dinner being
sacrosanct is a good one.

348
00:17:47,014 --> 00:17:51,194
And then even down to having a defined
number of days, five out of seven, because

349
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:54,554
it is, I think a little unrealistic
when you're building a company to say,

350
00:17:54,554 --> 00:17:56,729
you know what, seven out of seven days.

351
00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:58,340
I'm going to be able to be home.

352
00:17:58,470 --> 00:17:59,800
Nothing's going to come up.

353
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,640
There's not going to be an investor.

354
00:18:01,650 --> 00:18:05,610
There's not going to be a recruit
that I have to hire, but you know, you

355
00:18:05,610 --> 00:18:07,730
can plan around those couple of days.

356
00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:08,259
Siqi Chen: Yeah.

357
00:18:08,259 --> 00:18:10,450
To be sure that hasn't
been always a case though.

358
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:11,290
And.

359
00:18:11,915 --> 00:18:16,875
One of the things that trigger this is I
am not a person who actually eats a lot.

360
00:18:17,195 --> 00:18:19,014
For a while I was only eating on weekends.

361
00:18:19,504 --> 00:18:19,865
Wow.

362
00:18:19,954 --> 00:18:22,095
So actually there were like no meal times.

363
00:18:22,095 --> 00:18:26,215
And I just remember our child saying
like, Hey, is it normal that we don't

364
00:18:26,215 --> 00:18:27,735
eat together as a family as often?

365
00:18:28,345 --> 00:18:31,530
And I thought it was like, It was
normal for me when I was growing up.

366
00:18:32,050 --> 00:18:33,480
Yeah, but it's not normal.

367
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:34,440
It shouldn't be normal.

368
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:35,850
And that's when we made a change.

369
00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:36,730
Adam Fishman: Well, that's good.

370
00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:41,390
And good on your kid for pointing that
out and asking the question, probably

371
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:47,170
not from a place of, you know, accusation
or anything, but curiosity like kids.

372
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:48,430
So, right.

373
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:53,989
Aside from shock and surprise, what
is the earliest memory that you have?

374
00:18:56,665 --> 00:18:57,965
I mean, it's the moment

375
00:18:58,225 --> 00:19:00,565
Siqi Chen: you pull
them for the first time.

376
00:19:00,975 --> 00:19:01,405
Mm hmm.

377
00:19:01,585 --> 00:19:05,144
Small, delicate, you're
like, wow, this is it.

378
00:19:05,765 --> 00:19:10,544
But the thing I actually remember,
to be completely transparent, is the

379
00:19:10,555 --> 00:19:12,115
first time going to the supermarket.

380
00:19:12,725 --> 00:19:13,215
Okay.

381
00:19:13,634 --> 00:19:16,924
So you're in a hospital, and
you're not sleeping, and you're

382
00:19:16,954 --> 00:19:18,464
trying to get them to latch.

383
00:19:19,030 --> 00:19:19,480
Right.

384
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:24,960
And it's like two or three days into
this, you decide, okay, well we need

385
00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:30,579
to go to the nearest Safeway, or no,
it's Rowley's in Millbrae, and we

386
00:19:30,579 --> 00:19:32,849
need to go get a snack and drink run.

387
00:19:33,390 --> 00:19:39,550
And being there and feeling like,
this feels the exact way I feel like

388
00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:40,879
if I'm in the Maldives or something.

389
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:45,940
This half an hour was like,
oh wow, this is vacation.

390
00:19:45,950 --> 00:19:46,970
This is incredible.

391
00:19:47,050 --> 00:19:50,819
I've never experienced this
selection of goods before.

392
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:54,199
The other thing I'll remember, and
it's actually weirdly all shopping

393
00:19:54,199 --> 00:19:58,010
related, is, you know there's
this store called Bye Bye Baby?

394
00:19:58,354 --> 00:19:58,874
Oh, yeah.

395
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:02,405
So, we went before the baby came,
and we're looking around, and

396
00:20:02,405 --> 00:20:03,394
it's like, what is all this crap?

397
00:20:04,445 --> 00:20:06,880
And then, we went a few months
after, we looked at everything, and

398
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,844
it's like, wow, we need everything.

399
00:20:12,665 --> 00:20:15,825
Everything is amazing, I'm so
glad someone invented something.

400
00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:20,784
But yeah, I think, uh, more seriously,
holding your kid for the first time.

401
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:25,645
And the other thing is, like, you
kind of get a sense of personality.

402
00:20:26,435 --> 00:20:31,264
That first time you hold your kid and
you can draw a through line between the

403
00:20:31,274 --> 00:20:35,125
personality you're picking up that first
day to how they ended up as they grow up.

404
00:20:35,675 --> 00:20:42,525
My first kid was like extremely loud and
she grew up to be like really outspoken.

405
00:20:43,205 --> 00:20:49,235
And the second one is a lot calmer,
just like looking around, just unfazed.

406
00:20:49,275 --> 00:20:52,455
And that's how she ended up,
you know, at four years old.

407
00:20:52,455 --> 00:20:52,985
So it's really

408
00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:53,475
Adam Fishman: interesting.

409
00:20:53,594 --> 00:20:54,685
That is pretty amazing.

410
00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:56,085
I'm trying to think back to my kids.

411
00:20:56,145 --> 00:20:57,034
That's probably true.

412
00:20:57,045 --> 00:20:57,065
Yeah.

413
00:20:58,014 --> 00:21:01,705
And neither one of my kids slept very
much, so, and they don't really know.

414
00:21:02,084 --> 00:21:05,824
What are the most surprising things
that you've discovered as a dad?

415
00:21:06,475 --> 00:21:09,775
Siqi Chen: How it changes your own
perspective of how you grew up.

416
00:21:10,254 --> 00:21:15,054
I remember when my dad came to
visit, and like, that's when I

417
00:21:15,314 --> 00:21:19,145
realized, oh yeah, I didn't remember
this, but that's really different.

418
00:21:19,514 --> 00:21:22,165
He was holding our second one,
and he was like, I've never

419
00:21:22,175 --> 00:21:24,980
held a child this young before.

420
00:21:25,890 --> 00:21:29,030
And I'm like, Oh shit, that's right.

421
00:21:29,030 --> 00:21:29,510
You have been.

422
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:31,430
That's crazy.

423
00:21:32,030 --> 00:21:36,220
I think like the most surprising thing
is how much you reflect on how your

424
00:21:36,230 --> 00:21:39,230
childhood is a different and like
how it puts things into perspective.

425
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:41,020
It's probably the most surprising thing.

426
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,210
Outside of that, I don't know.

427
00:21:44,229 --> 00:21:46,890
Like, I don't know that there's
like anything that's surprising

428
00:21:46,890 --> 00:21:50,410
because we did a bunch of reading
and research ahead of the baby.

429
00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:54,400
But I think the general thing
that we weren't surprised by is.

430
00:21:54,820 --> 00:21:55,540
They end up fine.

431
00:21:55,730 --> 00:21:57,200
You don't have to worry
too much about them.

432
00:21:57,220 --> 00:21:58,640
They're designed to survive.

433
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:05,000
Yeah, but I think as they grew up though
as they get older the thing that surprises

434
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:10,720
me is how quickly they learn Everything
in particular like our older one.

435
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:19,639
She got into running so early And she
got so into it and same with skiing too,

436
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:24,139
like it's, I'm 40 years old and I got in
skiing me like 10 years ago and she was

437
00:22:24,139 --> 00:22:27,429
going down a double black or like her,
you know, her 20th time down a mountain

438
00:22:27,449 --> 00:22:29,060
and took me down my first double black.

439
00:22:29,110 --> 00:22:30,539
So they learned so fast.

440
00:22:31,030 --> 00:22:31,229
Adam Fishman: Those

441
00:22:31,229 --> 00:22:32,409
Siqi Chen: are things that
you don't expect, right?

442
00:22:32,409 --> 00:22:36,304
You go from like one year where they
can barely like stand up on her skis.

443
00:22:36,695 --> 00:22:40,055
And the next year they're like going down
the double blacks and leaving me behind.

444
00:22:40,115 --> 00:22:42,505
That's somewhat

445
00:22:42,625 --> 00:22:43,625
Adam Fishman: motivating and scary.

446
00:22:43,785 --> 00:22:47,424
Your daughter also has the advantage
of having a low center of gravity.

447
00:22:47,705 --> 00:22:48,525
This is true.

448
00:22:48,765 --> 00:22:50,493
Which, you know, helps her
bomb down that mountain.

449
00:22:50,493 --> 00:22:51,406
That helps a lot.

450
00:22:51,406 --> 00:22:52,245
That helps a lot.

451
00:22:52,285 --> 00:22:54,544
That is an amazing
couple of insights there.

452
00:22:54,645 --> 00:22:55,875
How quickly they learn.

453
00:22:55,914 --> 00:22:59,405
It's kind of fun to watch kids
learn and experience the world

454
00:22:59,405 --> 00:23:00,805
and get good at something too.

455
00:23:00,805 --> 00:23:03,625
And I'm glad that the two of you
found running as a thing that

456
00:23:03,625 --> 00:23:06,385
you can do together as sort of
like a side by side activity.

457
00:23:06,875 --> 00:23:09,605
So you mentioned that you weren't
surprised by that many things

458
00:23:09,605 --> 00:23:11,065
because you did a lot of reading.

459
00:23:11,335 --> 00:23:17,054
If you could rewind the clock and
give your younger self some advice,

460
00:23:17,675 --> 00:23:19,815
what would you say to younger Siki?

461
00:23:20,175 --> 00:23:21,974
Every time I think about
this, I feel like I don't

462
00:23:21,974 --> 00:23:22,955
Siqi Chen: want to tell him anything.

463
00:23:23,175 --> 00:23:24,105
Let him figure it out.

464
00:23:24,345 --> 00:23:25,144
It could have been better.

465
00:23:25,144 --> 00:23:28,445
It could have been worse, but it's one
of those things where I do have this

466
00:23:28,445 --> 00:23:32,585
perspective about life where you'll
learn just as much from bad experiences,

467
00:23:32,585 --> 00:23:33,915
probably more than the good ones.

468
00:23:34,264 --> 00:23:34,645
Yeah.

469
00:23:34,754 --> 00:23:35,685
And so like.

470
00:23:36,620 --> 00:23:41,060
All of the great advice are in books,
and I could like shortcut that advice and

471
00:23:41,129 --> 00:23:47,629
give it directly, but there is value in
experience, and I didn't value experience

472
00:23:47,629 --> 00:23:49,129
when I didn't have any experience.

473
00:23:49,850 --> 00:23:52,689
But now that I have it, I realize
that that's actually really valuable.

474
00:23:53,210 --> 00:23:57,580
But if I could rewind time to one time,
it would probably be the first couple

475
00:23:57,580 --> 00:24:03,810
of weeks after our first child, and
the message was like, They'll be fine.

476
00:24:04,389 --> 00:24:08,189
And you have to remember that
they're not always a potato

477
00:24:08,189 --> 00:24:09,449
that eats, shits, and sleeps.

478
00:24:10,090 --> 00:24:16,590
At some point, they'll, very quickly,
they'll walk and crawl and talk

479
00:24:16,690 --> 00:24:22,459
and be really, really fun and the
investment and return curve crosses.

480
00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:26,379
And sooner than, cause like the
first few months, for me, I don't

481
00:24:26,379 --> 00:24:29,820
know, I, I, I think this is not
a popular like experience, but

482
00:24:29,820 --> 00:24:30,699
I'll just tell it like it is.

483
00:24:30,699 --> 00:24:33,560
Like I, I thought it was, it wasn't great.

484
00:24:34,919 --> 00:24:38,360
It's just a lot of work and I'm
like, this is not that interesting.

485
00:24:38,429 --> 00:24:42,240
I'm like, I'm not getting the same
joy as like looking at a baby as I

486
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:46,219
do looking at my four year old nine
year old and you know, plenty of that

487
00:24:46,219 --> 00:24:47,520
saying, Oh, it's the most natural thing.

488
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:48,199
It wasn't for me.

489
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:49,579
And maybe I'm weird,

490
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:51,829
Adam Fishman: but I don't think you are.

491
00:24:51,859 --> 00:24:53,860
I hear that sentiment a
lot from a lot of dads.

492
00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:55,700
I think that's a common dad feeling.

493
00:24:56,235 --> 00:24:58,004
We can normalize that here on the show.

494
00:24:58,235 --> 00:25:00,314
Siqi Chen: Yeah, yeah, I mean,
like I just want to, yeah, I

495
00:25:00,314 --> 00:25:01,595
feel like it's good to be honest.

496
00:25:01,595 --> 00:25:05,235
Like I just, I feel like somewhat
insecure when it was like, Oh, wow.

497
00:25:05,235 --> 00:25:10,734
The first time I'm like, you know, every
time I look at my potato, I'm like,

498
00:25:11,974 --> 00:25:16,014
OK, you know, maybe there's something
broken about me, but I don't care.

499
00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:17,665
I'll just like tell
you exactly how I feel.

500
00:25:17,665 --> 00:25:20,725
But, you know, as they become more
expressive, I just can have like

501
00:25:20,734 --> 00:25:22,734
even a nonverbal conversation.

502
00:25:23,134 --> 00:25:23,545
Yeah.

503
00:25:23,545 --> 00:25:26,095
With this being, you're like, Oh, okay.

504
00:25:26,345 --> 00:25:27,445
That's pretty magical.

505
00:25:27,774 --> 00:25:28,024
Yeah.

506
00:25:28,054 --> 00:25:28,395
Yeah.

507
00:25:28,405 --> 00:25:29,074
This is great.

508
00:25:29,175 --> 00:25:29,614
Adam Fishman: Yeah.

509
00:25:29,925 --> 00:25:31,785
I love the potato analogy.

510
00:25:32,075 --> 00:25:35,834
I often say that young babies all
look like Winston Churchill, you

511
00:25:35,834 --> 00:25:37,365
know, kind of like wrinkly neck.

512
00:25:37,365 --> 00:25:38,350
Grumpy.

513
00:25:38,350 --> 00:25:39,334
Yeah.

514
00:25:39,335 --> 00:25:39,665
Grumpy.

515
00:25:40,155 --> 00:25:40,535
Yeah.

516
00:25:40,555 --> 00:25:41,095
That's right.

517
00:25:41,534 --> 00:25:44,605
If you could go back, and I'm
sure you got peppered with

518
00:25:44,605 --> 00:25:46,819
advice yourself as you were Yeah.

519
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:51,020
You know, becoming a father,
about to become a father.

520
00:25:51,389 --> 00:25:54,600
Is there any particular piece of advice
that you would go back in time and

521
00:25:54,600 --> 00:26:00,815
just like put up the stop sign, tell
yourself like, Don't listen to this.

522
00:26:01,145 --> 00:26:02,355
This is useless.

523
00:26:02,695 --> 00:26:04,555
Set that one out to pasture.

524
00:26:04,815 --> 00:26:05,465
Siqi Chen: Okay.

525
00:26:05,535 --> 00:26:09,814
I mean, the biggest change between
the first one and second one, and I

526
00:26:09,815 --> 00:26:14,145
imagine it's pretty common, is like,
you're no longer thinking about them,

527
00:26:14,155 --> 00:26:16,505
like, literally dying every hour.

528
00:26:17,695 --> 00:26:18,145
Yep.

529
00:26:18,615 --> 00:26:18,945
Right?

530
00:26:18,955 --> 00:26:23,715
Like, I think that's the thing that
You hear, but you start to internalize

531
00:26:23,765 --> 00:26:24,865
because you're just paranoid.

532
00:26:24,865 --> 00:26:26,814
Like, what if they stop breathing?

533
00:26:27,375 --> 00:26:31,495
Oh my God, I need to get the wearable,
like, you know, ankle bracelet to make

534
00:26:31,495 --> 00:26:35,515
sure, you know, you got to get a camera
and check on them like every half an hour

535
00:26:36,165 --> 00:26:43,044
and that's not how these beings work, you
know, like they're designed to survive and

536
00:26:43,054 --> 00:26:47,215
they'll let you know loudly if you're not
doing a good job and it turned out okay.

537
00:26:47,215 --> 00:26:49,085
So you don't have to like be.

538
00:26:51,175 --> 00:26:53,315
Constantly oppressively
just paranoid about this.

539
00:26:53,524 --> 00:26:53,715
Right.

540
00:26:53,715 --> 00:26:57,225
That's like probably the most mentally
draining part of being a first time

541
00:26:57,225 --> 00:27:00,865
dad that if I could short circuit
with some words, I would try to.

542
00:27:00,995 --> 00:27:05,045
Adam Fishman: In an early startup dad
episode, I had Darius contractor on

543
00:27:05,045 --> 00:27:09,245
who you probably know or know of, and
he talked about like buying some sort

544
00:27:09,245 --> 00:27:15,725
of super fancy technology thing for
detecting SIDS or whatever in his kid.

545
00:27:15,725 --> 00:27:19,050
And he was like, It was
the most incredibly useless

546
00:27:19,060 --> 00:27:20,490
like piece of technology.

547
00:27:20,490 --> 00:27:21,990
Like don't buy that.

548
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,619
Siqi Chen: It was, I think it was a
Nanette or maybe that sounds right.

549
00:27:25,620 --> 00:27:26,230
Yeah.

550
00:27:26,390 --> 00:27:29,520
And also like you, when you're in that
position, you're like, Oh, I could

551
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,929
think of all kinds of, uh, new startups
to build just for the new demographic.

552
00:27:32,930 --> 00:27:33,660
No, now a part of

553
00:27:33,990 --> 00:27:34,279
Adam Fishman: like a

554
00:27:34,279 --> 00:27:35,640
Siqi Chen: wearable for babies,

555
00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:36,200
Adam Fishman: right?

556
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:37,080
Exactly.

557
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,790
Well, because as you know, new
parents will buy just about anything.

558
00:27:39,790 --> 00:27:40,280
Oh my God.

559
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,740
They can like, like you mentioned,
walking into bye bye baby.

560
00:27:43,980 --> 00:27:44,460
Yeah.

561
00:27:44,879 --> 00:27:46,220
What is your.

562
00:27:46,590 --> 00:27:48,050
Favorite book to

563
00:27:48,050 --> 00:27:48,909
Siqi Chen: read to your kids?

564
00:27:49,340 --> 00:27:53,860
Um, the books that we just read over and
over again, it's not my favorite, but

565
00:27:54,370 --> 00:27:56,020
I'm sure you know, the blub blub fish.

566
00:27:56,770 --> 00:27:58,240
I don't know if I actually do.

567
00:27:58,270 --> 00:27:58,870
Really?

568
00:27:58,949 --> 00:28:04,599
Blub blub fish is just a fish who is a
really grumpy fish who goes blub, blub,

569
00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:08,470
blub, and then you meet the octopus.

570
00:28:09,725 --> 00:28:14,675
And the octopus says hello and
the blub blub fish goes blub blub

571
00:28:14,775 --> 00:28:15,715
Adam Fishman: blub.

572
00:28:17,105 --> 00:28:18,315
I see where this is going.

573
00:28:18,765 --> 00:28:19,025
Cool.

574
00:28:19,025 --> 00:28:20,765
I will check out the blub blub fish.

575
00:28:20,815 --> 00:28:21,015
We

576
00:28:21,015 --> 00:28:22,875
Siqi Chen: have like four
different copies of it.

577
00:28:22,915 --> 00:28:27,525
We have top cover, hardcover,
like large format, small format.

578
00:28:27,815 --> 00:28:28,945
I don't know how we ended up with so many

579
00:28:28,955 --> 00:28:30,705
Adam Fishman: copies of the
same book, but they love it.

580
00:28:30,895 --> 00:28:32,345
Have you memorized this book?

581
00:28:32,365 --> 00:28:34,885
Can you like do it where you're
not even looking at the page and

582
00:28:34,885 --> 00:28:36,305
your brain is just elsewhere?

583
00:28:36,305 --> 00:28:36,474
I cannot.

584
00:28:36,475 --> 00:28:37,995
Well, I mean, half the book

585
00:28:38,015 --> 00:28:38,825
Siqi Chen: is blub blub.

586
00:28:41,665 --> 00:28:45,125
And you know, when you get to that
part, like it gets a laugh, no

587
00:28:45,125 --> 00:28:46,495
matter how they are every time.

588
00:28:46,495 --> 00:28:48,845
So it's kind of an addictive
experience for the kids.

589
00:28:48,955 --> 00:28:49,805
Adam Fishman: That's pretty great.

590
00:28:50,015 --> 00:28:51,485
That's a funny thing
that you mentioned too.

591
00:28:51,574 --> 00:28:56,964
Kids find the things that
we do so hilarious, right?

592
00:28:56,964 --> 00:28:59,955
Like you are probably like,
yeah, blah, blah, fish.

593
00:29:00,075 --> 00:29:00,755
I'm over it.

594
00:29:01,190 --> 00:29:04,720
But it's every time you do that
for your kids, it's like they're

595
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:08,420
hearing it the first time and they
probably just like go bananas.

596
00:29:08,470 --> 00:29:14,679
So have you developed any particular
frameworks or guardrails for parenting?

597
00:29:15,219 --> 00:29:16,620
What is language acquisition?

598
00:29:17,569 --> 00:29:21,069
Siqi Chen: So, you know, we are
a bilingual household, right?

599
00:29:21,140 --> 00:29:24,129
We speak Chinese and English and.

600
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,770
For our first kid, I think one of the
pieces of advice we got from one of

601
00:29:28,770 --> 00:29:32,199
our friends is you should have the
mommy language and the daddy language.

602
00:29:32,999 --> 00:29:34,829
So one parent should
always speak one language.

603
00:29:34,829 --> 00:29:36,780
Other parents always
speak the other language.

604
00:29:37,379 --> 00:29:39,459
Just kind of did that for our first child.

605
00:29:39,459 --> 00:29:42,669
And she's okay in both languages.

606
00:29:43,460 --> 00:29:45,940
What really got her better in
Chinese is just like having

607
00:29:45,940 --> 00:29:47,120
her go to China for a summer.

608
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,840
She came back forgetting like a bunch
of her English and it was like five.

609
00:29:51,630 --> 00:29:52,330
Or six.

610
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,570
But for a second child, we're actually
doing it completely differently.

611
00:29:55,620 --> 00:29:58,460
Our second child is four now and she
barely speaks any English at all.

612
00:29:58,950 --> 00:29:59,250
Wow.

613
00:29:59,290 --> 00:30:01,950
And up to like last year,
she spoke no English at all.

614
00:30:02,595 --> 00:30:05,035
The reason we did that is we realized
that they're just going to pick

615
00:30:05,035 --> 00:30:06,225
up the language of where you live.

616
00:30:07,245 --> 00:30:10,285
So actually the right thing to do is
just like focus on the other language.

617
00:30:10,895 --> 00:30:13,475
And yeah, so her Chinese
is really, really good.

618
00:30:13,494 --> 00:30:17,195
And it is hilarious because she's
like this three year old who lives in

619
00:30:17,205 --> 00:30:21,535
America with the strongest like Chinese
accent when she speaks in English ever.

620
00:30:21,535 --> 00:30:25,105
It's hilarious.

621
00:30:25,155 --> 00:30:25,605
Yeah.

622
00:30:25,875 --> 00:30:26,905
So that's one.

623
00:30:27,475 --> 00:30:30,954
And the other one is like
exercise obviously, but it's a.

624
00:30:31,565 --> 00:30:34,855
I mean, I think it's like one of
the great attacks if you can get

625
00:30:34,855 --> 00:30:39,525
your kids who really love running
and we were lucky enough where she

626
00:30:39,535 --> 00:30:43,705
entered like a 5k race last year,
May Day, and she won her age group.

627
00:30:44,035 --> 00:30:44,555
Wow.

628
00:30:44,555 --> 00:30:45,375
And she didn't practice before.

629
00:30:45,375 --> 00:30:47,785
She's like, so she always had
a talent for running and that

630
00:30:47,785 --> 00:30:48,805
got her to really running.

631
00:30:49,305 --> 00:30:50,185
So that helped a lot.

632
00:30:50,745 --> 00:30:53,195
I mean, so exercising with
your kids is the best, right?

633
00:30:53,195 --> 00:30:57,045
It's like such a triple, dual use of time.

634
00:30:57,805 --> 00:31:01,085
And the last one around education, I
think the one that was really useful

635
00:31:01,085 --> 00:31:04,850
is, There's different philosophies
on how you educate children, right?

636
00:31:04,860 --> 00:31:07,210
Do you like do Montessori, right?

637
00:31:07,230 --> 00:31:08,280
Is it play based?

638
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:09,860
Do you do direct instruction?

639
00:31:10,690 --> 00:31:14,959
And the one that I sort of believe
in is like you want to transition.

640
00:31:15,250 --> 00:31:18,420
You want to like focus on force
feeding them and direct instruction

641
00:31:18,450 --> 00:31:19,970
up until the point they can bootstrap.

642
00:31:20,939 --> 00:31:25,230
So basically we put them into at a very
academically focused school up until the

643
00:31:25,230 --> 00:31:28,820
second grade where they were just like
doing phonics and learning how to read.

644
00:31:29,180 --> 00:31:32,720
And then afterwards we put them into
like a more laissez faire school.

645
00:31:33,620 --> 00:31:38,290
And once they are able to read
and you have like a bunch of books

646
00:31:38,290 --> 00:31:41,880
available to them and their curiosity
takes over, then you're good to go.

647
00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:45,760
But getting them to reading as
early as possible was our strategy.

648
00:31:46,590 --> 00:31:47,280
I love that.

649
00:31:47,590 --> 00:31:52,369
Adam Fishman: Yeah, it's interesting
and I've thought a lot about this for

650
00:31:52,369 --> 00:31:58,680
even since before I had kids, but like
everything Is a reading exercise, right?

651
00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:02,820
Math, you have to be able to read
the story problem to do the work.

652
00:32:02,890 --> 00:32:06,430
It's social studies, like anything
you want to learn, like reading is

653
00:32:06,430 --> 00:32:08,049
kind of the gateway that unlocks that.

654
00:32:08,220 --> 00:32:08,569
Siqi Chen: Yeah.

655
00:32:08,569 --> 00:32:11,099
And once you know how to read and
you read something interesting,

656
00:32:11,099 --> 00:32:12,230
you want to read more, right?

657
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,199
So positive feedback loop.

658
00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:18,100
That was like the thing that we
focused on early and that's worked out.

659
00:32:18,430 --> 00:32:18,780
Adam Fishman: Yeah.

660
00:32:19,260 --> 00:32:22,920
So you mentioned that how you
taught your daughter's language has

661
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:24,320
changed between the two of them.

662
00:32:24,530 --> 00:32:24,830
Yeah.

663
00:32:24,890 --> 00:32:30,820
You mentioned just sort of your
worry about whether your kid is going

664
00:32:30,820 --> 00:32:35,889
to die or your paranoia level has
gone way down with your second kid.

665
00:32:35,889 --> 00:32:36,590
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

666
00:32:36,730 --> 00:32:43,050
Any other like large evolutions that
you've noticed from your oldest daughter

667
00:32:43,050 --> 00:32:45,560
to your youngest and how you personally.

668
00:32:46,895 --> 00:32:51,805
And then as a follow up to that, I'm
curious if you've also noticed anything

669
00:32:51,805 --> 00:32:57,965
change in how you run a company or manage
as I guess you've matured, as you've

670
00:32:57,974 --> 00:33:01,735
had a family, like, What's changed?

671
00:33:02,015 --> 00:33:05,085
Siqi Chen: With the kids, I mean,
the other thing between the two kids

672
00:33:05,085 --> 00:33:06,685
is you just buy a lot less crap.

673
00:33:07,165 --> 00:33:10,045
You know, there is like that funny
meme where, like, the first child

674
00:33:10,045 --> 00:33:13,875
has, like, all of the wearables
and, uh, the crib and everything.

675
00:33:13,875 --> 00:33:16,234
And the second child has, like,
a mattress and empty room.

676
00:33:17,465 --> 00:33:18,154
Like a box.

677
00:33:18,194 --> 00:33:19,685
Yeah, like a cardboard box.

678
00:33:19,825 --> 00:33:21,045
It's not far from the truth.

679
00:33:21,105 --> 00:33:24,335
But it also is like, well, you know,
we already have a bunch of stuff.

680
00:33:24,525 --> 00:33:24,835
Sure.

681
00:33:24,885 --> 00:33:28,495
Outside of that, yeah, we're
just a lot less stressed.

682
00:33:28,955 --> 00:33:31,585
I will say the five year age
gap is really interesting.

683
00:33:31,695 --> 00:33:36,005
We waited a long time, we weren't sure if
we wanted a second, and then we decided,

684
00:33:36,005 --> 00:33:37,395
okay, we're gonna pull the trigger on it.

685
00:33:37,585 --> 00:33:43,034
And the age gap is right enough where,
like, she has the best big sister ever.

686
00:33:43,455 --> 00:33:47,514
You know, Alessandra is super
helpful with Mira, and everything

687
00:33:47,514 --> 00:33:50,845
that she gets, she's like, oh, does
my little sister want it first?

688
00:33:52,025 --> 00:33:52,815
It's incredible.

689
00:33:53,025 --> 00:33:54,955
So that's a really big change.

690
00:33:54,965 --> 00:33:59,825
And oh, so that actually is really
interesting in that the first one

691
00:34:00,195 --> 00:34:03,754
tends to be a lot more giving and
the second one is frankly like a lot

692
00:34:03,754 --> 00:34:05,335
more self centered because of that.

693
00:34:05,345 --> 00:34:06,565
A lot more swallowed by her sister.

694
00:34:06,565 --> 00:34:10,845
And so, yeah, for the first one,
you know, we have to like, Tell

695
00:34:10,845 --> 00:34:11,885
them to adjust different ways.

696
00:34:11,885 --> 00:34:15,615
Like, hey, you don't have to share
everything if you don't want to.

697
00:34:15,915 --> 00:34:16,215
Adam Fishman: Mm hmm.

698
00:34:16,845 --> 00:34:19,075
Siqi Chen: And a second one is
like, you probably should share

699
00:34:19,075 --> 00:34:22,904
things you don't want to because
you don't want to share anything.

700
00:34:23,124 --> 00:34:26,965
So the dynamics of having an
older sister and a younger

701
00:34:26,965 --> 00:34:28,685
sister is pretty interesting.

702
00:34:28,855 --> 00:34:34,915
And as far as how effects work, I
will say this, Runway has I think

703
00:34:34,935 --> 00:34:36,295
most people at Runway have kids.

704
00:34:37,765 --> 00:34:40,275
It affects, I don't know, unconsciously.

705
00:34:40,275 --> 00:34:43,145
I don't think I was discriminating
against people with kids, but when

706
00:34:43,145 --> 00:34:44,665
you're young, you hire young people.

707
00:34:45,665 --> 00:34:50,724
And here we hire adults and
we trust them to be adults.

708
00:34:51,344 --> 00:34:52,524
So that's pretty different.

709
00:34:52,725 --> 00:34:55,364
Adam Fishman: I like that
idea of you're hiring adults.

710
00:34:55,725 --> 00:35:00,085
You kind of hire people a little bit in
your own mirror image, even if it's not,

711
00:35:00,695 --> 00:35:04,355
you know, again, like you mentioned, it's
not sort of biased or anything, but you

712
00:35:04,355 --> 00:35:08,554
do want to hire, you know, more senior
folks when you're more senior yourself.

713
00:35:08,785 --> 00:35:10,625
So it makes a ton of sense.

714
00:35:11,054 --> 00:35:16,074
Do you think that part of the reason
that your daughters get along so well

715
00:35:16,074 --> 00:35:20,455
or have this dynamic because of the
age gap is that there may be less

716
00:35:20,455 --> 00:35:23,894
competitive or something like that
because they're farther apart in age?

717
00:35:23,894 --> 00:35:24,604
They don't have a lot of.

718
00:35:24,970 --> 00:35:25,340
Oh, yeah.

719
00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:26,850
Overlap and, and things like that.

720
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:27,120
Yeah.

721
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:27,580
Siqi Chen: For sure.

722
00:35:27,620 --> 00:35:27,890
Adam Fishman: That

723
00:35:27,890 --> 00:35:28,590
Siqi Chen: contributes.

724
00:35:28,970 --> 00:35:32,280
But also it helps that the older
one really appreciates having a

725
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:36,150
little sister because she's been
asking for a sibling for years.

726
00:35:36,449 --> 00:35:36,829
Yeah.

727
00:35:37,759 --> 00:35:38,129
Right?

728
00:35:38,190 --> 00:35:38,879
And so she was

729
00:35:38,900 --> 00:35:40,100
Adam Fishman: really,
really happy about it.

730
00:35:40,479 --> 00:35:40,809
Yeah.

731
00:35:41,350 --> 00:35:41,930
That's cool.

732
00:35:42,119 --> 00:35:42,669
That's cool.

733
00:35:42,970 --> 00:35:43,209
All right.

734
00:35:43,210 --> 00:35:45,900
I wanted to transition and
ask you a little bit about

735
00:35:46,250 --> 00:35:47,560
partnership with your wife.

736
00:35:48,060 --> 00:35:50,320
So as we all know.

737
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:55,580
Very important partnership
when you have kids.

738
00:35:56,060 --> 00:36:02,350
It is also very hard to agree with
your partner 100 percent of the time.

739
00:36:03,270 --> 00:36:06,510
So I'm very curious to hear
what is something that you

740
00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:09,429
and your wife do not agree on.

741
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:11,190
When it comes to parenting.

742
00:36:11,350 --> 00:36:11,740
I think

743
00:36:11,740 --> 00:36:13,960
Siqi Chen: we would all settle
for 50 percent of the time.

744
00:36:16,710 --> 00:36:17,430
I would settle

745
00:36:17,430 --> 00:36:17,960
Adam Fishman: for that on

746
00:36:17,980 --> 00:36:18,730
Siqi Chen: several days.

747
00:36:19,430 --> 00:36:19,870
Adam Fishman: Yes.

748
00:36:21,010 --> 00:36:24,960
Siqi Chen: Probably the biggest thing
that we don't agree on is like, how much

749
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,479
do we let her make her own decisions?

750
00:36:29,469 --> 00:36:31,760
To what degree are we really
safe, fair about what she does

751
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:32,720
and what she's on her time on it?

752
00:36:33,050 --> 00:36:35,090
How much do we just tell
her you got to do this.

753
00:36:35,720 --> 00:36:40,400
And I would say whatever is the
opposite of a tiger mom is that is me.

754
00:36:40,780 --> 00:36:41,130
Okay.

755
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:47,120
And my wife has a tiger mom, like
classically in the book, right?

756
00:36:47,630 --> 00:36:51,819
And the combination of it is
basically our philosophy, if you add

757
00:36:51,820 --> 00:36:54,870
it to it, is like, our kids better
at least drop out of Stanford.

758
00:37:00,449 --> 00:37:06,100
But yeah, I think that is a pretty big
sort of disagreement and just education

759
00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:08,570
in general, like the value of college.

760
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,060
I'm like, college is a waste of time.

761
00:37:11,230 --> 00:37:14,030
There's a Teal fellowship where
Peter Teal is paying people

762
00:37:14,030 --> 00:37:15,070
to not even go to college.

763
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:19,060
And she's very much like, but
no, they're going to like meet

764
00:37:19,060 --> 00:37:21,850
people and they're going to be
credentialed and all these things.

765
00:37:21,850 --> 00:37:24,809
I'm like, who knows if Stanford is
even going to exist in years from now?

766
00:37:25,310 --> 00:37:25,970
We don't know.

767
00:37:26,530 --> 00:37:26,690
Adam Fishman: You

768
00:37:26,770 --> 00:37:27,170
Siqi Chen: know?

769
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:30,800
And so like, if there's this disagreement
about like sort of the long term

770
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:36,089
future of education and AGI, but you
have to prepare for that now, that can

771
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:37,589
like become pretty tense, you know?

772
00:37:37,860 --> 00:37:41,170
Adam Fishman: Yeah, and it's
fascinating because like, you

773
00:37:41,170 --> 00:37:44,620
know, we can't predict the future
and this is going to be a really

774
00:37:44,620 --> 00:37:47,520
interesting segue into my next topic.

775
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:52,280
But the educational system that we have
today has been around for like a hundred

776
00:37:52,289 --> 00:37:57,090
years in the United States and hasn't
actually changed very much in that time.

777
00:37:57,090 --> 00:37:59,580
You know, aside from like industrial
revolution and things like that,

778
00:37:59,580 --> 00:38:03,570
it is still grow up, you know, do
well in school, get into a good

779
00:38:03,570 --> 00:38:05,554
college, prepares you for college.

780
00:38:05,905 --> 00:38:09,985
a job, get a great job, live your
life, lather, rinse, repeat for

781
00:38:09,985 --> 00:38:13,715
the next generation and try and
make sure that the next generation

782
00:38:13,715 --> 00:38:17,165
is better off than you were and
gets access to more opportunities.

783
00:38:17,444 --> 00:38:20,115
But you know, who knows what the hell
is going to happen with AI, right?

784
00:38:20,144 --> 00:38:23,194
Like we're already incorporating
it into educational opportunities

785
00:38:23,194 --> 00:38:24,455
and things for our kids.

786
00:38:24,535 --> 00:38:30,205
And so I'm curious to get your take
on this as someone who has built

787
00:38:30,805 --> 00:38:33,845
their entire career in technology.

788
00:38:34,325 --> 00:38:38,075
You know, you also worked in virtual
reality, gaming, which I often find

789
00:38:38,075 --> 00:38:39,555
is on sort of the cutting edge of.

790
00:38:40,095 --> 00:38:41,895
Technology advancements.

791
00:38:41,925 --> 00:38:44,985
What's the relationship that
you want your kids to have with

792
00:38:44,985 --> 00:38:46,515
technology as they get older?

793
00:38:46,615 --> 00:38:50,745
And how are you leveraging
technology today with them?

794
00:38:51,355 --> 00:38:52,065
Ideally,

795
00:38:52,065 --> 00:38:54,455
Siqi Chen: I want them to think about
technology the same way I think about

796
00:38:54,455 --> 00:38:58,785
them, but whether they end up thinking
about the same way as you do or the

797
00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:04,285
complete opposite, who knows, but the
way I think about technology in a way, I

798
00:39:04,285 --> 00:39:07,764
encourage our kids to think of technology
as these are tools to give you leverage.

799
00:39:08,285 --> 00:39:10,854
You can draw a line between
chat, TVT and a stick.

800
00:39:12,170 --> 00:39:17,370
Like we, as humans, we build tools
and tools help us do more things

801
00:39:17,450 --> 00:39:19,340
at greater scale, greater impact.

802
00:39:19,850 --> 00:39:23,750
And that's the way you should think about
technology and the way we've used it.

803
00:39:23,750 --> 00:39:25,680
I think obviously AI is a big thing.

804
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:28,290
And so it was a really important to
me that I introduced them to chat.

805
00:39:28,290 --> 00:39:29,209
gp really early.

806
00:39:29,219 --> 00:39:30,829
They have the chat.

807
00:39:30,830 --> 00:39:32,510
gpt app on their iPads.

808
00:39:32,690 --> 00:39:34,250
I encouraged them to
use it for everything.

809
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,830
I gave them perplexity as well
and search for everything.

810
00:39:37,830 --> 00:39:38,860
Just ask it questions.

811
00:39:38,860 --> 00:39:39,259
Yeah.

812
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:39,880
Yeah.

813
00:39:40,375 --> 00:39:42,585
These are tools to be
used, to be mastered.

814
00:39:42,905 --> 00:39:49,674
Adam Fishman: Do you talk to your kids
at all about the potential pitfalls of

815
00:39:49,745 --> 00:39:55,404
over reliance on AI, at least in today's
version, things like hallucinations or.

816
00:39:55,770 --> 00:39:58,260
incorrect information
or anything like that.

817
00:39:58,270 --> 00:40:00,970
Have you had a conversation, maybe
not with your four year old, but

818
00:40:00,970 --> 00:40:06,260
maybe with your nine year old, around
like, how do you make sure that you're

819
00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:07,820
getting the right stuff out of this?

820
00:40:08,250 --> 00:40:11,330
Siqi Chen: I think actually
like that's less important.

821
00:40:11,330 --> 00:40:13,479
I don't spend a whole lot of
time talking to him about that.

822
00:40:13,479 --> 00:40:14,610
I mean, like, I, we did
have a conversation.

823
00:40:14,610 --> 00:40:16,114
Hey, not everything is gonna be correct.

824
00:40:16,445 --> 00:40:16,775
Right.

825
00:40:16,995 --> 00:40:17,665
But that's okay.

826
00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:19,505
It'll be more correct with GD85.

827
00:40:19,525 --> 00:40:24,685
Like, that's just a very temporary thing,
but like, it's the same conversation

828
00:40:24,685 --> 00:40:26,935
that you would have, like, don't believe
everything you read on the internet,

829
00:40:27,055 --> 00:40:28,534
or in the news for that matter, right?

830
00:40:28,534 --> 00:40:28,724
Right.

831
00:40:28,725 --> 00:40:30,115
It's like, use your own judgment.

832
00:40:30,115 --> 00:40:31,505
But this is a really useful tool.

833
00:40:31,790 --> 00:40:35,830
That gives you like a perspective,
just like a newspaper or the internet.

834
00:40:35,860 --> 00:40:37,830
And like, not all of that is true either.

835
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:38,460
Yeah.

836
00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:41,330
So you'd have to be judicious
in your judgment about it,

837
00:40:41,770 --> 00:40:42,960
but it's highly convenient.

838
00:40:43,270 --> 00:40:45,749
Adam Fishman: What's the sort of
most interesting thing that one of

839
00:40:45,749 --> 00:40:48,690
your kids has done with chat GPT?

840
00:40:48,759 --> 00:40:49,359
Siqi Chen: Okay.

841
00:40:49,370 --> 00:40:54,450
So over Christmas, we were with a
family friend and they wanted to

842
00:40:54,990 --> 00:41:00,890
make a game and they were inventing
what kind of game they want to make.

843
00:41:01,315 --> 00:41:06,425
And we were in Japan at the time with
this family and we've seen Gundam.

844
00:41:06,825 --> 00:41:12,474
And so Alessandra and this child,
they wanted to figure out, okay,

845
00:41:12,474 --> 00:41:13,775
what kind of game do we want to make?

846
00:41:13,775 --> 00:41:15,885
They asked ChildDBT for
like ideas for games.

847
00:41:16,205 --> 00:41:17,555
They knew the theme of the game.

848
00:41:18,015 --> 00:41:21,685
And the theme of the game is a cross
between Transformers and Gundam.

849
00:41:22,215 --> 00:41:27,910
And They use Chachabitty to create
a bunch of like art that is like a

850
00:41:27,930 --> 00:41:29,180
cross between Transformers and Gundam.

851
00:41:29,180 --> 00:41:33,180
I'm like, I would never have
thought to like cross the two, but

852
00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:36,310
there is like some amazingly cool
robot illustrators come out of it.

853
00:41:36,740 --> 00:41:39,830
They were like talking through the
rules, writing down what the rules are.

854
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:44,220
And then they were trying to figure
out, okay, how do we like code this?

855
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,770
And then they asked how do you
teach them how to use unity?

856
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,710
So it's nine year old and 10 year old.

857
00:41:49,710 --> 00:41:50,899
I think they downloaded a unit.

858
00:41:50,899 --> 00:41:52,380
I helped them download unity.

859
00:41:52,609 --> 00:41:53,499
They downloaded it.

860
00:41:53,729 --> 00:41:55,909
They were telling me how do you
think, okay, now what do we do?

861
00:41:56,329 --> 00:41:58,129
And they're working on this game.

862
00:41:59,610 --> 00:42:00,580
Adam Fishman: That is amazing.

863
00:42:00,850 --> 00:42:04,850
At nine and ten, how old were you
when you built your first game?

864
00:42:05,690 --> 00:42:09,130
Siqi Chen: Like in code, I was in the
sixth grade is like when I built my

865
00:42:09,130 --> 00:42:13,820
first game, I built like a version of
Minesweeper, Blackjack and Monopoly

866
00:42:13,820 --> 00:42:15,360
and Visual Basic in the sixth grade.

867
00:42:15,370 --> 00:42:18,930
So yeah, that is substantially
younger, but I also, that was

868
00:42:18,930 --> 00:42:20,010
when I had my first computer.

869
00:42:20,335 --> 00:42:20,715
Adam Fishman: Yeah.

870
00:42:21,475 --> 00:42:21,905
So yeah, they're

871
00:42:21,905 --> 00:42:23,485
Siqi Chen: in the, they were
in the fourth grade now.

872
00:42:23,535 --> 00:42:23,915
Adam Fishman: Yeah.

873
00:42:24,025 --> 00:42:24,415
Wow.

874
00:42:24,565 --> 00:42:24,855
Yeah.

875
00:42:24,855 --> 00:42:29,265
So you were probably two ish,
two, three years older than them.

876
00:42:29,575 --> 00:42:30,135
Fascinating.

877
00:42:30,145 --> 00:42:34,605
And I'll bet your illustrations for
Minesweeper were not nearly as good as

878
00:42:34,785 --> 00:42:36,485
what your daughter was coming up with.

879
00:42:36,755 --> 00:42:36,955
My

880
00:42:36,955 --> 00:42:38,564
Siqi Chen: older also some
background in this race.

881
00:42:38,574 --> 00:42:42,395
So in the, I think it was the late
second grade or around third grade,

882
00:42:42,395 --> 00:42:44,515
I mean, she was like on scratch man.

883
00:42:44,575 --> 00:42:48,005
That's a really great, it's like,
you know, Roblox light in 2d, right?

884
00:42:48,005 --> 00:42:48,784
So she was like.

885
00:42:48,955 --> 00:42:50,305
Coding Emperor Mystery Games.

886
00:42:50,355 --> 00:42:51,875
And that was a pretty good introduction.

887
00:42:52,165 --> 00:42:55,415
Adam Fishman: I may have mentioned this
in the chat group that we're in together.

888
00:42:55,535 --> 00:43:00,795
I can't recall, but my son built a game in
Scratch where you catch donuts in a hat.

889
00:43:01,315 --> 00:43:05,065
And that was the highlight of back to
school night or the school open house.

890
00:43:05,065 --> 00:43:06,675
He had to show me this game that he made.

891
00:43:06,854 --> 00:43:09,815
And he was just like gleefully
clacking away and showing me

892
00:43:09,815 --> 00:43:11,155
the code next to it and stuff.

893
00:43:11,175 --> 00:43:11,665
Very cool.

894
00:43:12,055 --> 00:43:16,525
What is something that you have
had to give up to become a dad?

895
00:43:17,950 --> 00:43:18,740
alone time.

896
00:43:19,370 --> 00:43:19,800
Okay.

897
00:43:20,320 --> 00:43:23,840
It was that something that
you prioritized a lot before?

898
00:43:24,580 --> 00:43:28,530
Siqi Chen: Um, it was the
default before, right?

899
00:43:28,620 --> 00:43:31,189
I'm an INTP Myers Briggs type.

900
00:43:31,189 --> 00:43:35,330
So it's an introverted
one that you can have.

901
00:43:35,380 --> 00:43:40,525
And Alone time lets you
be a lot more curious.

902
00:43:40,525 --> 00:43:44,375
You can just like spend a lot more
time being hyper focused on coding.

903
00:43:44,925 --> 00:43:49,465
And as a dad, like it's just hard to
get deep into any one thing anymore.

904
00:43:49,985 --> 00:43:53,284
And that's something that you have
to like really schedule time on.

905
00:43:53,285 --> 00:43:57,705
But like you're scheduling it, it's hard
to like pull on a thread in the moment

906
00:43:57,705 --> 00:43:58,985
when you're curious about a thing.

907
00:43:59,375 --> 00:43:59,595
Right.

908
00:43:59,595 --> 00:44:03,804
So that's like probably the biggest
and toughest change of being a dad.

909
00:44:03,975 --> 00:44:04,335
Adam Fishman: Yeah.

910
00:44:04,705 --> 00:44:06,885
What do you do in that situation?

911
00:44:07,295 --> 00:44:11,635
When, you know, creativity or
inspiration strikes and you're like,

912
00:44:11,715 --> 00:44:14,195
I really need to dig into this thing.

913
00:44:14,770 --> 00:44:16,850
Right now, or I'm going to lose it.

914
00:44:17,310 --> 00:44:22,120
I mean, do you have some sort of signal
you tell your kids or do you, you be

915
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:24,290
like, Hey, everybody, the door's closing.

916
00:44:24,659 --> 00:44:25,930
I'm going into my place.

917
00:44:26,390 --> 00:44:26,969
You write it

918
00:44:26,969 --> 00:44:30,859
Siqi Chen: down and then, you know,
with some experience of writing it down,

919
00:44:30,860 --> 00:44:32,129
you realize that you can write it down.

920
00:44:32,129 --> 00:44:36,830
So I'll forget the thing, then you write
it down and then you try to record a

921
00:44:36,830 --> 00:44:39,560
video of you like downloading a thing.

922
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:41,739
So I use a loon sometimes as a note.

923
00:44:42,210 --> 00:44:45,260
But generally like, yeah, there's
some like controversy on the interwebs

924
00:44:45,270 --> 00:44:49,850
about like the value of a notion or a
Rome today and how's the pace of time.

925
00:44:49,850 --> 00:44:52,850
But my sense of the, it's probably
like a lot more useful when you're a

926
00:44:52,850 --> 00:44:55,090
parent and you just have to like write

927
00:44:55,100 --> 00:44:55,720
Adam Fishman: things down all

928
00:44:55,720 --> 00:44:56,915
Siqi Chen: the time.

929
00:44:56,915 --> 00:44:58,019
Adam Fishman: Yes.

930
00:44:58,100 --> 00:45:02,650
I found that audio notes are far
better now than even typing because

931
00:45:02,650 --> 00:45:04,160
it's so much faster for me to just.

932
00:45:04,780 --> 00:45:07,370
Boop and like record a thing
and then come back to it.

933
00:45:07,390 --> 00:45:07,690
So

934
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:09,830
Siqi Chen: yeah, there's
an app that I invested in.

935
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:13,710
I think it's called Tucktastic
now, and it'll do is like you just.

936
00:45:14,230 --> 00:45:17,360
You know, vomit audio thoughts
and I'll try to like translate

937
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:18,930
it into like really well formed

938
00:45:20,580 --> 00:45:21,450
Adam Fishman: pieces of text.

939
00:45:21,590 --> 00:45:22,340
Nice.

940
00:45:22,460 --> 00:45:23,110
Talktastic.

941
00:45:23,110 --> 00:45:23,990
I will check that out.

942
00:45:24,450 --> 00:45:27,780
We'll link to it in the show notes
for other people who are struggling

943
00:45:27,780 --> 00:45:29,470
as parents to form thoughts.

944
00:45:29,849 --> 00:45:34,689
What are some ways that you restore your
batteries or center yourself as a dad?

945
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:36,070
You mentioned exercise.

946
00:45:36,140 --> 00:45:39,910
Is there another thing that's
like pretty important to you

947
00:45:39,910 --> 00:45:41,210
that kind of gets you recharged?

948
00:45:41,540 --> 00:45:45,360
Traveling to places where
there is a kid center.

949
00:45:46,899 --> 00:45:50,080
We were talking about this before,
before we started recording.

950
00:45:50,269 --> 00:45:56,000
A critical error when you travel somewhere
and there is no kids corner or kids zone.

951
00:45:56,355 --> 00:45:59,085
Yeah, traveling with

952
00:45:59,315 --> 00:46:04,685
Siqi Chen: child care taken care of is
probably the most rejuvenating thing.

953
00:46:04,945 --> 00:46:05,345
Adam Fishman: Yeah.

954
00:46:05,865 --> 00:46:06,265
Yeah.

955
00:46:06,535 --> 00:46:07,274
I love that.

956
00:46:07,754 --> 00:46:12,304
Aside from not having child care taken
care of when you travel, what is a

957
00:46:12,305 --> 00:46:14,354
mistake that you've made as a father?

958
00:46:15,255 --> 00:46:18,835
Siqi Chen: Biggest mistake is just
feeling entitled to my spouse's

959
00:46:18,835 --> 00:46:20,345
time, the one I mentioned before.

960
00:46:21,025 --> 00:46:24,925
That is like, You know, you
don't, you think you're doing

961
00:46:24,925 --> 00:46:25,855
it for the right reasons.

962
00:46:25,855 --> 00:46:28,685
Like, well, I'm just
prioritizing these things.

963
00:46:29,075 --> 00:46:32,914
But what really is, is comes from this
position of entitlement that, Oh, okay.

964
00:46:32,914 --> 00:46:34,784
Well, you have your role.

965
00:46:34,805 --> 00:46:35,874
I have my role.

966
00:46:35,895 --> 00:46:41,054
So therefore I don't have to do
certain things, pick up my clothes.

967
00:46:42,220 --> 00:46:42,610
Right.

968
00:46:42,670 --> 00:46:46,700
And the reality is like these small
things, although small are small

969
00:46:46,720 --> 00:46:49,580
in individual pieces, they add up

970
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:50,250
Adam Fishman: to

971
00:46:50,250 --> 00:46:50,840
Siqi Chen: feelings.

972
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:55,729
And that's probably the biggest mistake
is like, instead of like feeling like,

973
00:46:55,730 --> 00:47:01,200
Oh, there is this split and I resent not
having to like do things outside my split.

974
00:47:01,890 --> 00:47:02,920
It's about giving.

975
00:47:04,140 --> 00:47:07,320
You have to actively give in
order for this to be healthy.

976
00:47:07,340 --> 00:47:10,010
And like doing things outside of the
things that you're supposed to do

977
00:47:10,020 --> 00:47:12,210
is how you like show that giving.

978
00:47:12,570 --> 00:47:16,080
Not just the things that you're supposed
to do or things as part of your role as

979
00:47:16,130 --> 00:47:18,220
a startup founder or as a breadwinner.

980
00:47:18,830 --> 00:47:21,040
And that took me like
way too long for me to

981
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:21,930
Adam Fishman: really internalize.

982
00:47:22,300 --> 00:47:22,690
Yeah.

983
00:47:22,900 --> 00:47:25,620
How did you finally get to that place?

984
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:29,560
Was it a little bit with the help
and loving support of your partner?

985
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,580
Or were you able to kind of
figure that out on your own?

986
00:47:32,990 --> 00:47:33,950
We were

987
00:47:33,970 --> 00:47:34,619
Siqi Chen: smart enough

988
00:47:34,619 --> 00:47:35,079
Adam Fishman: to

989
00:47:35,220 --> 00:47:40,660
Siqi Chen: talk to a therapist together
before things got like, and you know,

990
00:47:40,670 --> 00:47:44,660
it was to a point where in the first
few sessions, the therapist was like,

991
00:47:44,660 --> 00:47:47,680
why, I don't know why you're seeing
us, but then we got deeper as like,

992
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:49,080
okay, well here's like a thing.

993
00:47:49,660 --> 00:47:52,540
And the thing that she said.

994
00:47:53,290 --> 00:47:55,420
It's just so dumb, but it just works.

995
00:47:55,420 --> 00:47:58,980
It's like, Hey, you should just like,
lean into it and like, feel good about it.

996
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:00,440
And you'll just feel good about it.

997
00:48:01,190 --> 00:48:05,250
And like, it just, it doesn't sound
like it should work, but like, just

998
00:48:05,260 --> 00:48:09,529
after the conversations, that thing
that she said, I'm like, okay.

999
00:48:10,290 --> 00:48:13,510
And every time this has come up, I think
about, I was like, I'm just going to

1000
00:48:13,510 --> 00:48:15,600
like, feel good about it and lean into it.

1001
00:48:15,910 --> 00:48:16,890
And I was like, oh shit.

1002
00:48:17,230 --> 00:48:18,220
That totally works.

1003
00:48:18,960 --> 00:48:20,750
And the more I lean to it,
the better I feel about it.

1004
00:48:20,940 --> 00:48:21,270
Yeah.

1005
00:48:21,990 --> 00:48:22,750
It wasn't the

1006
00:48:22,750 --> 00:48:23,260
Adam Fishman: opposite.

1007
00:48:23,530 --> 00:48:25,929
Turns out she knew a
thing or two about this.

1008
00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:26,399
Yeah.

1009
00:48:26,399 --> 00:48:27,400
She is very good at it.

1010
00:48:27,820 --> 00:48:28,430
Amazing.

1011
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:34,419
Well, my last question before we start
our rapid fire around is how can people

1012
00:48:34,780 --> 00:48:40,090
follow along with your journey or be
helpful to you, your company, if they'd

1013
00:48:40,090 --> 00:48:41,350
like to find you on the internet?

1014
00:48:41,770 --> 00:48:43,020
Well, if you have

1015
00:48:43,090 --> 00:48:44,230
Siqi Chen: finance problems.

1016
00:48:44,775 --> 00:48:45,625
I feel bad for you, son.

1017
00:48:46,245 --> 00:48:46,765
Go to runway.

1018
00:48:46,905 --> 00:48:50,595
com or email me or tweet at me
later and I'll be happy to help.

1019
00:48:50,835 --> 00:48:51,195
Adam Fishman: Cool.

1020
00:48:51,225 --> 00:48:51,775
Runway.

1021
00:48:52,045 --> 00:48:52,375
com.

1022
00:48:52,375 --> 00:48:57,405
We will put that in the show notes and
you, I think I saw relatively recently

1023
00:48:57,405 --> 00:49:02,104
within the last year, raised some
financing, some decently significant

1024
00:49:02,104 --> 00:49:03,905
financing, so that's very exciting.

1025
00:49:03,905 --> 00:49:05,385
So congrats on that.

1026
00:49:05,405 --> 00:49:06,935
And I know as many.

1027
00:49:07,300 --> 00:49:10,280
Would say it's just the beginning,
but it does sound like things are

1028
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,500
going pretty well at runway and you're
getting some traction and growing.

1029
00:49:13,500 --> 00:49:15,030
So I'm excited to check it out.

1030
00:49:15,619 --> 00:49:17,750
Are you ready for rapid fire?

1031
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:19,220
Oh, let's go.

1032
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:23,780
What is the most indispensable parenting
product that you have ever purchased?

1033
00:49:23,870 --> 00:49:24,480
A ball pit.

1034
00:49:24,970 --> 00:49:25,370
Ooh.

1035
00:49:25,810 --> 00:49:26,719
Finish this sentence.

1036
00:49:26,740 --> 00:49:30,800
The ideal day with my kids
involves this one activity.

1037
00:49:31,125 --> 00:49:31,935
Running or skiing.

1038
00:49:32,785 --> 00:49:34,665
What is your go to

1039
00:49:34,875 --> 00:49:36,195
Siqi Chen: dad wardrobe?

1040
00:49:36,445 --> 00:49:38,265
I'm kind of wearing it
just for this podcast.

1041
00:49:38,675 --> 00:49:39,015
What is it?

1042
00:49:39,055 --> 00:49:41,105
I can't even see what it
says on the shirt, but the

1043
00:49:41,105 --> 00:49:44,725
coolest dad in mirror image.

1044
00:49:44,814 --> 00:49:47,465
The whole family has
like matching sets here.

1045
00:49:48,365 --> 00:49:49,215
That's amazing.

1046
00:49:49,424 --> 00:49:49,865
That in

1047
00:49:49,865 --> 00:49:52,745
Adam Fishman: and of itself is
like a very dad move right there.

1048
00:49:53,125 --> 00:49:56,455
How many parenting books
do you have in your house?

1049
00:49:56,675 --> 00:49:58,735
I want to say probably upwards of a dozen.

1050
00:49:59,235 --> 00:50:01,415
And how many parenting
books have you read?

1051
00:50:01,740 --> 00:50:02,990
Cover to cover.

1052
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:04,280
Exactly zero.

1053
00:50:04,470 --> 00:50:05,660
Okay, good.

1054
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:06,630
Common answer.

1055
00:50:07,025 --> 00:50:09,175
Siqi Chen: What are the
favorite ages for your kids?

1056
00:50:09,255 --> 00:50:12,225
The current age, where current
age is greater than two.

1057
00:50:12,425 --> 00:50:15,235
Okay, what is your least favorite age?

1058
00:50:15,875 --> 00:50:15,885
1.

1059
00:50:16,424 --> 00:50:17,935
Adam Fishman: 5 or less.

1060
00:50:18,615 --> 00:50:18,845
1.

1061
00:50:18,905 --> 00:50:20,045
5 or less.

1062
00:50:20,355 --> 00:50:20,924
I love that.

1063
00:50:20,924 --> 00:50:22,574
We're giving it in terms of formulas.

1064
00:50:22,825 --> 00:50:24,824
Allows for some imprecision.

1065
00:50:25,114 --> 00:50:28,485
Have you ever secretly thrown away
a piece of your kid's artwork?

1066
00:50:28,525 --> 00:50:30,585
Yes, and I have not secretly thrown away.

1067
00:50:32,405 --> 00:50:34,564
It's important for kids to
experience disappointment.

1068
00:50:34,695 --> 00:50:35,395
Siqi Chen: To let go.

1069
00:50:35,455 --> 00:50:38,265
What is your favorite

1070
00:50:38,425 --> 00:50:39,675
Adam Fishman: kids movie?

1071
00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:42,135
The amazing Panadventure
because my wife is in it.

1072
00:50:42,395 --> 00:50:43,505
Oh, nice.

1073
00:50:43,535 --> 00:50:44,855
Now I'm gonna have to check this out.

1074
00:50:45,225 --> 00:50:50,565
What is the worst experience that
you have ever had assembling a

1075
00:50:50,575 --> 00:50:52,865
children's toy or a piece of furniture?

1076
00:50:53,625 --> 00:50:56,065
Siqi Chen: I don't know if I had,
like, really bad experiences, but

1077
00:50:56,075 --> 00:50:58,865
most recently I had to put together a
chicken coop because the kids wanted

1078
00:50:58,865 --> 00:51:03,055
chickens and the chickens came home from
school because they were hatching eggs.

1079
00:51:03,515 --> 00:51:04,885
And that was, that took a while.

1080
00:51:05,105 --> 00:51:05,675
Okay.

1081
00:51:05,904 --> 00:51:08,835
Are you now the proud owner
of a couple of chickens?

1082
00:51:08,845 --> 00:51:09,755
Four chickens, yeah.

1083
00:51:10,015 --> 00:51:10,451
Four chickens?

1084
00:51:10,451 --> 00:51:12,505
Actually, we had four and then
three and then two and then

1085
00:51:12,505 --> 00:51:13,425
one and now we have four again.

1086
00:51:15,945 --> 00:51:17,525
Adam Fishman: You restocked the coop.

1087
00:51:17,545 --> 00:51:18,135
Yeah, yeah.

1088
00:51:18,475 --> 00:51:22,545
One thing I've, I also at one point
in my life owned chickens, my adult

1089
00:51:22,545 --> 00:51:27,165
life, and one thing I learned is that
chickens are fairly fragile animals.

1090
00:51:27,194 --> 00:51:28,474
They die very easily.

1091
00:51:28,645 --> 00:51:30,234
Siqi Chen: Yeah, I think not.

1092
00:51:30,675 --> 00:51:33,555
Naturally, but by predators, yes.

1093
00:51:33,585 --> 00:51:33,955
Yeah.

1094
00:51:33,975 --> 00:51:35,525
Which is how we lost our chickens.

1095
00:51:35,595 --> 00:51:36,375
Oh, I'm sorry.

1096
00:51:36,455 --> 00:51:40,285
But the other thing I learned is
that eggs come out of the hens

1097
00:51:40,305 --> 00:51:41,955
without the need for a rooster.

1098
00:51:42,205 --> 00:51:42,705
Correct.

1099
00:51:43,665 --> 00:51:43,965
Adam Fishman: Correct.

1100
00:51:43,994 --> 00:51:44,865
That blew my mind.

1101
00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:45,435
Yeah.

1102
00:51:45,694 --> 00:51:47,524
Do you eat a lot of
eggs in your household?

1103
00:51:47,634 --> 00:51:48,484
We do eat a lot of eggs.

1104
00:51:48,505 --> 00:51:49,945
I bet you kind of have to.

1105
00:51:50,385 --> 00:51:53,265
Have you ever accidentally
mixed up your kid's names?

1106
00:51:53,335 --> 00:51:54,225
Many times, yes.

1107
00:51:54,475 --> 00:51:59,375
How long can a piece of food sit
on the floor in your household

1108
00:51:59,635 --> 00:52:00,705
and you will still eat it?

1109
00:52:00,825 --> 00:52:03,355
I, we generally respect
the five second rule.

1110
00:52:03,755 --> 00:52:04,575
Five second rule.

1111
00:52:04,625 --> 00:52:05,095
Okay.

1112
00:52:05,365 --> 00:52:10,975
What nostalgic movie can you not
wait to force your kids to watch?

1113
00:52:11,105 --> 00:52:14,855
Siqi Chen: This movie I actually did not
wait to force my kid to watch because

1114
00:52:14,885 --> 00:52:17,254
I took my elder one to the symphony.

1115
00:52:17,845 --> 00:52:22,575
When there was a live showing and it was
completely inappropriate, but I think

1116
00:52:22,575 --> 00:52:24,615
she was six and we watched the Matrix.

1117
00:52:24,925 --> 00:52:26,475
You, you took her to see the

1118
00:52:26,545 --> 00:52:29,234
Adam Fishman: Symphony Matrix performance.

1119
00:52:29,255 --> 00:52:30,024
Love that.

1120
00:52:30,024 --> 00:52:31,994
She was definitely the
youngest person there.

1121
00:52:32,045 --> 00:52:35,124
Yeah, did you get any weird looks
from other people as the bullets

1122
00:52:35,124 --> 00:52:36,485
are whizzing by Neo's head?

1123
00:52:36,505 --> 00:52:37,635
I didn't look.

1124
00:52:37,695 --> 00:52:38,405
You didn't look.

1125
00:52:38,505 --> 00:52:38,805
Nope.

1126
00:52:39,015 --> 00:52:42,605
How often do you tell your
kids back in my day stories?

1127
00:52:43,085 --> 00:52:43,815
Siqi Chen: Probably once a month.

1128
00:52:44,474 --> 00:52:44,884
Adam Fishman: Yeah.

1129
00:52:45,260 --> 00:52:48,190
You ever tell your oldest
daughter by your age, I had lived

1130
00:52:48,190 --> 00:52:50,010
in China two different times.

1131
00:52:50,610 --> 00:52:53,210
No, no, no, it's not an attraction.

1132
00:52:53,290 --> 00:52:54,309
That's not the thing about it.

1133
00:52:54,309 --> 00:52:56,050
I aspire her to also do.

1134
00:52:56,179 --> 00:52:57,360
That's a bug, not a feature.

1135
00:52:57,550 --> 00:53:01,349
And finally, my favorite question,
and I know you only have two kids,

1136
00:53:01,629 --> 00:53:03,720
but you do live down in the peninsula.

1137
00:53:03,889 --> 00:53:07,310
So what is your take on minivans?

1138
00:53:07,370 --> 00:53:09,400
One of the greatest inventions of mankind.

1139
00:53:09,660 --> 00:53:11,930
The minivan is one of the
greatest inventions of mankind.

1140
00:53:11,980 --> 00:53:13,240
I, wow.

1141
00:53:13,240 --> 00:53:14,510
You heard it here first folks.

1142
00:53:14,510 --> 00:53:15,150
Siki.

1143
00:53:15,410 --> 00:53:17,570
Is a huge minivan fan.

1144
00:53:17,970 --> 00:53:18,480
All right.

1145
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:20,110
Not pulling any punches on that one.

1146
00:53:20,300 --> 00:53:21,780
It's the bye bye baby of cars.

1147
00:53:21,900 --> 00:53:24,139
It's the bye bye baby of cars.

1148
00:53:24,570 --> 00:53:29,240
That is a wonderful note to end
on that will live in my head rent

1149
00:53:29,240 --> 00:53:31,560
free forever based on this show.

1150
00:53:31,730 --> 00:53:35,059
Sigi, thank you so much for
joining me on startup dad today.

1151
00:53:35,199 --> 00:53:35,859
This was an awesome.

1152
00:53:36,340 --> 00:53:42,240
Conversation and I wish you and runway and
your family all the success in the world.

1153
00:53:42,610 --> 00:53:43,110
Thanks again.

1154
00:53:43,150 --> 00:53:44,530
I appreciate it for having me.

1155
00:53:44,530 --> 00:53:46,260
I think the pod that
you're doing is wonderful.

1156
00:53:46,490 --> 00:53:47,070
Happy to be on.

1157
00:53:48,119 --> 00:53:51,300
Thank you for listening to today's
conversation with Siki Chen.

1158
00:53:51,780 --> 00:53:54,839
If you enjoyed the show, please
subscribe, share, and leave me

1159
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:56,959
a review on Apple or Spotify.

1160
00:53:57,640 --> 00:53:59,650
It'll help other people find this podcast.

1161
00:54:00,290 --> 00:54:04,975
Startup Dad is Fishman AF production
with editing support from Tommy Heron.

1162
00:54:05,405 --> 00:54:09,715
You can join my community of over
10, 000 subscribers and stay up to

1163
00:54:09,715 --> 00:54:13,915
date on my thoughts on growth product
and parenting by subscribing to

1164
00:54:13,915 --> 00:54:17,405
the Fishman AF newsletter at www.

1165
00:54:17,465 --> 00:54:17,745
fishmanafnewsletter.

1166
00:54:20,815 --> 00:54:21,105
com.

1167
00:54:21,675 --> 00:54:22,545
Thanks for listening.

1168
00:54:22,955 --> 00:54:23,825
See you next week.