Teaching Dads How To Cook | David Haddad (father of 1, founder of Mr. Branzino)

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David Haddad: I've had colleagues of mine
show me like the mommy groups on Facebook.

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It's the same thing.

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It's like, my husband doesn't do anything.

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I just wish he would just cook
an effing meal or I wish he

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would just make the lunches or I
wish he would just do something.

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Cause it's so stressful.

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And these guys are then wondering
like, well, why am I getting divorced?

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Why is this relationship so strained?

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And it's like, cooking seems complicated,
but if you do this, it's going to pay

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massive dividends on your relationship
and like the future of your family.

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Adam Fishman: Welcome to Startup Dad,
the podcast where we dive deep in the

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lives of dads who are also leaders in
the world of startups and business.

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I'm your host, Adam Fishman.

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And in today's episode, I sat down
with David Haddad, also known as Mr.

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Branzino.

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David is a health tech founder and
product manager turned creator, now on

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a mission to teach dads how to cook.

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He recently started a company called Mr.

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Branzino to teach dads how
to cook delicious and simple

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meals in just two hours a week.

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He runs a newsletter, a dad
cook crew, and a cookbook.

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And a recipe planner called Meal Machine.

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He's a loving husband and
the father of one son.

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In our conversation today, we spoke
about food, from how he developed his

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passion for cooking to the relationship
between kids and food and his Pisces

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system for building a weekly meal plan.

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We talked about why dads aren't
as comfortable in the kitchen

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and how they can get there.

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Plus a sample meal plan from
one of his most recent weeks.

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David's advice can get anyone
started right away, becoming

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a more confident cook.

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I've already tried a few
parts of his system in my own

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household to great effect.

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I would like to welcome.

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David Haddad to the Startup Dad show.

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David, thank you for joining me today.

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It's a pleasure to have you here.

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Thanks, Adam.

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Thanks for having me.

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Today we're going to talk a
lot about food and cooking.

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And for those folks who don't
know you, you also go by Mr.

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Branzino, which is a brand
that you're creating, a product

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that you're creating, Yeah.

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around food and cooking and helping dads.

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Thanks Learn how to cook.

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If I recall correctly, this
is not your background.

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You are not a chef.

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You did not work at a
Michelin star restaurant.

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So tell me about that.

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Like, what did you do?

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And then tell me about
the mission behind Mr.

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Branzino.

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David Haddad: Yeah, it's, it's so funny.

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No, I'm not a chef, but I have
been cooking for 21 years.

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You know, in earnest, probably I would
say like the last like 10, 15, like

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more seriously, I've been cooking
and getting more interested in food.

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But no, so my background
is I'm a product manager.

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I've been building
digital health products.

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I've had my own companies in this space.

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I've been building in that space
and operating in that space for

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like, 13 plus years, I've just
been building or a builder.

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And so the cooking thing has just
always been in the background.

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It's always been this thing that
like people, they didn't even

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know that I cooked, they didn't
even know that I had that in my

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back pocket in terms of my skills.

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But yeah, so I've just been cooking,
you know, where did it come from?

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So my family.

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is like insane cooks.

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Like my parents had a cafe growing up.

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My father was in the import and had
some grocery stores in the Bay Area

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doing like specialty ethnic foods.

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My mom and grandmother
were like phenomenal cooks.

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My grandmother was a phenomenal cook.

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My mom is a phenomenal cook.

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Brothers and sister in laws,
uncle, everyone's just like

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really good at cooking.

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So I just kind of grew up doing that.

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You know, in cooking and I've like
kind of oriented a lot of my travel.

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Everything was always been around food.

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I was selling like specialty ethnic
food, specialty food on the internet.

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And like 2010, doing my first
four into e commerce, like playing

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with Shopify from back in the day.

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I like had a falafel pop up in LA right
before the pandemic and just done a lot

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of like food projects along the way.

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So it's just food has always been
in my blood and pulsing through my

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veins for like the last, you 20 plus
years, but yeah, it's been a journey.

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It's always been there and I'm just
kind of expressing it right now in

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a way that I think needs to happen.

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Adam Fishman: And you mentioned,
you know, you were sort of

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surrounded by this as a kid.

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Like everyone in your
family is kind of into this.

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You've got parents, grandparents,
you know, et cetera.

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And you also mentioned
ethnic grocery stores.

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You sold sort of like
specialty ethnic foods online.

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Like.

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What ethnicity?

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I'm racially ambiguous.

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Yeah, that's uh, that's what
you're trying to get at.

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Yeah, no, no, I mean, I love
that racially ambiguous.

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No, I mean, I guess like, you know,
I think there is something about

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people who come from certain cultural
backgrounds or ethnic backgrounds

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where food is naturally and cooking is
naturally more a part of their lives.

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And so I'm just wondering,
like, is that something?

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That kind of grounded you in that,
or was it something else and what

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lane, I guess, did the family cook in?

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David Haddad: Interesting.

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So my heritage is from the Middle East.

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My mom is from Palestine
and my dad's from Jordan.

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So I grew up in a, you know,
East Mediterranean style of food.

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So food in the Mediterranean is
You know, it's everything, right?

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It's like you eat your breakfast
and then you're like, what are

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we going to have for lunch?

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You eat your lunch, but we're
going to have for dinner.

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You're not like, you're
always thinking about food.

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You're obsessed with food just
because of how good the food is.

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You just sort of like food
is like a conversation

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everyone's having all the time.

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So I grew up in that environment.

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My father was an engineer, was a
professor, but he had a cafe and he

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started a coffee business back in the day.

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And he was like roasting on the downtimes
of like Pete's coffee when they were in

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Emeryville, I grew up in the Bay area,
you know, so everything was like, food

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was like part of the household, but it's
interesting, like, even though that like

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my dad knows how to cook and is a pretty
good cook and he used to cook a lot before

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he met my mom, but you know, I think
culturally, I think they kind of took the

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sort of more traditional middle Eastern
sort of like the woman cooks and the man

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works sort of thing, which is, you know,
was very, it's very common in the U S too.

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There's still that, like, kind of that.

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idea.

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It's still very common in the
Middle East, but it's changing.

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I think that's changing quite a bit.

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So yeah, you know, even though that I
did grow up in that type of environment,

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like I grew up in Hayward, California,
and that is like a really diverse place.

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And so like, I grew up with like people
from all around the world, especially

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for people of different ethnicities.

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Like if you think after like the end of
the cold war, like there was a lot of

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like Russian and ex Soviet immigrants.

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Immigrants where they came to
Hayward as like a landing pad.

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And if you think about like lots
of cultures, they come there and

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then like, they were at my school.

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And so like, you know, you would try
like Russian food and Polish food.

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And then it's actually my father, like he
started a store in Hayward selling like

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30 plus different nationalities worth
of food and then grew it into Palo Alto.

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And then like his business partner did
a lot of the import that type of food.

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So I grew up like with.

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German, Russian, Jewish,
everything under the sun.

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You know, it was just so,
so crazy, but also amazing.

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Cause I got to experience and taste
so many different kinds of things.

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I would never have gotten to
do just being like, you know, a

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first generation kid, you know?

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Adam Fishman: Very cool.

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Now you have a family now.

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You wouldn't be on the startup
dad podcast unless you did.

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So you have a partner
and you have one kid.

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How did you and your
partner meet each other?

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And tell me a little bit about your son.

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David Haddad: We met on a dating app.

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I mean, that was it.

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We met on a dating app.

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She bought some beans on this
app called coffee meets bagel.

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That was it.

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And it's today is actually
the day that we're recording.

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This is the day we actually met.

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So, uh, yeah, yeah, it's so we're
going to go out tonight and celebrate

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a little bit for our meet a versary.

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She's great.

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She's a behavioral therapist.

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Like she's really smart,
loving, great mom.

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great wife, great partner.

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Yeah.

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And a friend.

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So she's everything.

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We have one son together, a pandemic baby.

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He's almost three.

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It's been a wild ride.

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Something I've always wanted to have,
you know, a family and it's, you know,

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hopefully it grows, but yeah, we're
just excited about our little family.

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It's great.

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Adam Fishman: Yeah.

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When you were courting your
partner after coffee meets bagel.

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Did you cook her any epic,
magnificent meals that like

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won her over to your favor?

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David Haddad: Yeah, I cooked
a lot of meals for her.

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I let that cat out of
the box really quickly.

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I think it's something I should
have like maybe held back a bit

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more on, but yeah, no, I did.

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I think one of the meals she was pretty
impressed with was like, I just did like

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a really nice like steak and potatoes
with like some like Parmesan cheese on

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the potatoes and I just oven roasted it.

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It was Really good.

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I've made a bunch of other meals
that she was just like, wow, he

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knows what he's doing in the kitchen.

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I think it, it definitely
gave me a leg up in many ways.

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Adam Fishman: Also set the tone
for the expectations of the

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cooking for the relationship.

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But yeah, and that created,

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David Haddad: it created tension.

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I will say, I mean, that
created a lot of tension between

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like, she knows how to cook.

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I think she's a great cook.

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She's more of like, even if she follows a
recipe, she has really good, like, flavor.

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She has good flavor sensibilities and
knows how to like, say, Oh, this could

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be, you know, I like this or like that.

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And when she follows a recipe,
she makes something, it's great.

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But I think there was always this like,
s And so it's not just me that has

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experienced this, but I've had friends
on the opposite end of this where the,

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like the relationship dynamics starts
like changing because one person's

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good at cooking and one person's not,
they perceive themselves not to be.

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So there's a sense of like insecurity and
like there is, we had to get through that.

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There was definitely issues with it.

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So I didn't realize I was
casting as big of a shadow as I,

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Adam Fishman: as I did,
but On the next top chef.

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Yeah.

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Next top chef.

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David Haddad: Right.

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Yeah.

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Exactly.

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Adam Fishman: What was the decision like
for the two of you to start a family?

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David Haddad: I mean, we both
wanted, I mean, that was part

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of like original conversations.

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Like we hit it out the gate pretty much
saying like, yeah, we both wanted kids.

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We both wanted to have a family.

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I was like in the midst of like
a firestorm with my company.

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So we kind of had to delay a bit of that.

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And so I needed to like, Work
on that a bit before I exited my

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company, but it was just, it was
like something we both wanted.

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So we cut to the chase on that.

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I think we didn't even
wait to figure that out.

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Like it was pretty, pretty clear.

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She's always wanted to have one.

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I wanted to have one.

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So.

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Yeah, it was pretty straightforward.

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Cool.

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00:10:17,209 --> 00:10:19,300
Adam Fishman: So, the first topic
that I wanted to talk to you about

236
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:22,890
today is around partnership dynamics.

237
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:27,890
And you mentioned even, you know, you
casting a big shadow in the kitchen.

238
00:10:28,289 --> 00:10:30,619
But some of the things that you
brought up in our prep for the show

239
00:10:30,619 --> 00:10:33,470
are around mental load, shores.

240
00:10:33,795 --> 00:10:38,335
And then something you described as
weaponized incompetence, which is a

241
00:10:38,355 --> 00:10:41,844
phrase, like when I was reading through
that, I had to stop for a second.

242
00:10:41,844 --> 00:10:45,285
And I'm like, what did he mean there?

243
00:10:46,275 --> 00:10:49,365
So tell me about this universe
of partnership dynamics.

244
00:10:49,365 --> 00:10:52,794
And then I'm really curious
about weaponized incompetence.

245
00:10:52,795 --> 00:10:52,945
What

246
00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:53,524
David Haddad: does that mean?

247
00:10:54,205 --> 00:10:57,385
So I don't have like a formal
definition, but I could do an impression

248
00:10:57,385 --> 00:10:59,085
of what weaponized incompetence.

249
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:00,865
We love a good impression here.

250
00:11:00,865 --> 00:11:01,145
Okay.

251
00:11:01,145 --> 00:11:03,765
Good impression is partner says.

252
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:08,670
Specifically, the wife will say,
honey, can you clean the bathroom?

253
00:11:08,740 --> 00:11:12,260
And so the husband says,
babe, I don't know.

254
00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:14,879
Do I use this brush or
do I use this brush?

255
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,730
Like, I'm just, I don't get it.

256
00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:19,630
Like, or guys will do something like that.

257
00:11:19,669 --> 00:11:23,404
Like it's very common, but it's this
like incompetence that's used to like.

258
00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:27,685
Basically not do something so like this
is actually the thing that got me really

259
00:11:27,685 --> 00:11:29,454
interested in doing this whole mr.

260
00:11:29,454 --> 00:11:33,305
Branzino thing it was really around
this relationship dynamics And so I've

261
00:11:33,305 --> 00:11:38,464
heard that like I've heard of a lot
of guys doing this like I have family

262
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:43,130
members Let's say that basically did
that Type of weaponizing competence,

263
00:11:43,130 --> 00:11:44,980
like not change diapers though.

264
00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:49,150
Like they'll mess it up on purpose in
order to like, basically to not like

265
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:51,440
have to deal with that type of chore.

266
00:11:51,690 --> 00:11:54,250
And so, because they know that
like the sensibility of, let's say

267
00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:56,669
like a mom is going to be like,
Oh, I want to take care of my kid.

268
00:11:56,669 --> 00:11:57,790
I'm going to be the one that does it.

269
00:11:57,790 --> 00:11:59,000
Like, just let me do it.

270
00:11:59,345 --> 00:12:03,125
We hear from female friends, Oh,
my husband doesn't do anything.

271
00:12:03,135 --> 00:12:04,295
Or he's just not pulling his weight.

272
00:12:04,565 --> 00:12:05,725
I was like, Oh, that sucks.

273
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:09,265
And, you know, you start digging
deeper, and there's this whole

274
00:12:09,455 --> 00:12:12,075
thing around mental load, which I
didn't know anything about this.

275
00:12:12,075 --> 00:12:15,990
But it turns out a lot of women wake
up in the morning, And especially

276
00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:19,630
it's usually the mom and she'll
wake up in the morning and just

277
00:12:19,630 --> 00:12:22,880
kind of scan and she's like scanning
and she's like, we got to do this.

278
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:23,410
We got to do that.

279
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,620
We got to do like, they're just constantly
thinking about like what the day is

280
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:30,690
going to look like for the household
for the kit and the load is weighed

281
00:12:30,690 --> 00:12:33,030
on her and then it turns into like.

282
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:36,480
She doesn't want to explain
everything to her partner.

283
00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:38,890
And then it'd be like, Hey,
could you help with this?

284
00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:42,840
Or could you do, and then she ends up
just doing it because of maybe the man

285
00:12:42,860 --> 00:12:47,130
did some weaponizing competence or she
finds it to be easier to do it her way.

286
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:52,459
I read, and I can't find where this
tweet was that I saw it on Twitter X.

287
00:12:52,469 --> 00:12:56,189
There was a divorce lawyer that
said that like over 60 something

288
00:12:56,189 --> 00:12:59,719
percent of like women that divorce
their husband, when they file for

289
00:12:59,719 --> 00:13:01,609
divorce, it's out of resentment.

290
00:13:01,844 --> 00:13:03,905
And it's usually she's tired.

291
00:13:04,455 --> 00:13:06,425
It's like, say they
have two kids together.

292
00:13:06,735 --> 00:13:08,515
She's tired of raising a third child.

293
00:13:09,195 --> 00:13:10,795
So this is like mounts, right?

294
00:13:10,815 --> 00:13:12,415
This like mounts and mounts and mounts.

295
00:13:12,415 --> 00:13:16,024
Like if you just keep like not
helping, you keep not doing anything.

296
00:13:16,054 --> 00:13:18,034
There's a lot of stress
in the relationship.

297
00:13:18,555 --> 00:13:21,334
And so there's this really weird thing.

298
00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:27,525
It's like, okay, there's basic like
life skills that you just should know.

299
00:13:27,535 --> 00:13:29,045
One of which is knowing how to make money.

300
00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:32,255
Let's say another one is like
maybe how to clean or do your.

301
00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:34,040
Laundry or something like that.

302
00:13:34,530 --> 00:13:35,320
Everyone's cooking.

303
00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:39,859
And you know, like I know how to cook
and I know what it does for my family.

304
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:42,650
And it's this thing of, this is like one
of the, like, to me is like one of the

305
00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:46,970
most high leverage skills that you could
ever have, because if you think about

306
00:13:46,970 --> 00:13:48,599
what that would do to your relationship.

307
00:13:49,510 --> 00:13:55,319
Like, if you just made a meal once a
week as a dad or as a partner in your

308
00:13:55,319 --> 00:13:58,920
relationship, you're going to reduce
that mental load on your relationship.

309
00:13:59,069 --> 00:13:59,290
Yeah.

310
00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:00,990
The dynamics are very, very tough.

311
00:14:01,020 --> 00:14:04,069
And the crazy thing is like, you
hear weird, like little things

312
00:14:04,069 --> 00:14:05,079
from our friends and whatever.

313
00:14:05,079 --> 00:14:08,599
And then you start, I like my wife would
show me and I've had colleagues of mine

314
00:14:08,610 --> 00:14:10,270
show me like the mommy groups on Facebook.

315
00:14:11,010 --> 00:14:11,560
It's the same thing.

316
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:14,069
It's like my husband doesn't do anything.

317
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,420
I just wish he would
just cook an effing meal.

318
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:17,310
Or I wish he would just.

319
00:14:17,585 --> 00:14:21,585
Make the lunches or I wish you would just
do something because it's so stressful.

320
00:14:21,585 --> 00:14:25,085
And these guys are then wondering,
like, well, why am I getting divorced?

321
00:14:25,395 --> 00:14:27,305
Why is this relationship so strained?

322
00:14:27,345 --> 00:14:30,794
And it's like, OK, cooking
seems complicated, but if you do

323
00:14:30,794 --> 00:14:34,135
this, it's going to pay massive
dividends on your relationship and

324
00:14:34,135 --> 00:14:35,645
like the future of your family.

325
00:14:35,954 --> 00:14:37,235
I'm hoping to change that.

326
00:14:37,575 --> 00:14:41,045
Dynamic, but that's the bit of
the Genesis is based in a lot

327
00:14:41,045 --> 00:14:42,454
of like relationship dynamics.

328
00:14:42,454 --> 00:14:46,885
And I think it's one aspect of like,
you know, what I'm, I'm hoping to shift.

329
00:14:47,565 --> 00:14:52,065
Adam Fishman: I think there's been a lot
written about mental and emotional load.

330
00:14:52,105 --> 00:14:56,965
And so we'll link to some relevant
articles in the show notes, but I also

331
00:14:56,965 --> 00:15:00,265
think that it's only relatively recently.

332
00:15:00,265 --> 00:15:01,375
That's some.

333
00:15:02,060 --> 00:15:04,620
Dads have started to
pay attention to this.

334
00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:09,200
I think, you know, moms have been paying
attention to it forever, but they haven't

335
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,860
really had a term to describe it until, I
don't know, maybe the last decade or so.

336
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,070
But yeah, we'll link to some things.

337
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:19,179
And I do love that description
of weaponized incompetence.

338
00:15:19,259 --> 00:15:23,050
I know a lot of people who are like
that, where they're like, well, I'm

339
00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:25,100
just going to ask enough questions here.

340
00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:28,350
And then it's almost like I'm
not even doing the job anymore.

341
00:15:28,490 --> 00:15:30,810
I'm like the, you know, the marionette.

342
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,860
Puppet and they're just
kind of pulling the

343
00:15:32,860 --> 00:15:34,730
David Haddad: strings
and then that's work too.

344
00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:36,300
It just leads to a lot of stress.

345
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:40,890
And I think that we're in a very busy
time right now that things have just

346
00:15:40,890 --> 00:15:45,970
changed, you know, we've gone from, you
know, patriarchy, it's really funny.

347
00:15:45,970 --> 00:15:49,269
It's this like funny thing with like
cooking and it's, you know, my grandmother

348
00:15:49,269 --> 00:15:51,940
would say like when I was starting to like
learn how to cook and all that kind of

349
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,250
stuff, like my grandmother would be like,
why do you want to learn how to cook?

350
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:55,910
You're a man sort of thing.

351
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,809
Like there's this sort of like,
well, there's the patriarchy and

352
00:15:58,819 --> 00:16:03,360
the men goes and works and, you
know, disciplines the children if

353
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,070
they, they need it sort of thing.

354
00:16:05,070 --> 00:16:05,370
Right.

355
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,840
But we're now from
patriarchy to partnership.

356
00:16:07,910 --> 00:16:10,840
And it's like, I think that there's
something lost in that, like as a

357
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,610
partner, you have to like chip in.

358
00:16:12,620 --> 00:16:16,339
We don't have the luxury in society
between our busy schedules or

359
00:16:16,339 --> 00:16:19,730
just economically that you can't
just be like, Oh, I'm the man.

360
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:23,650
And I'm not going to do the most
fundamental thing, which is like, which

361
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:27,880
we do 90 percent you know, Most of the
day is like, you know, outside of your

362
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,920
sleeping and work is probably eating.

363
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:32,410
So it's like, you're not going
to like help with that is like

364
00:16:32,410 --> 00:16:34,949
such a funny, funny dynamic.

365
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,700
But anyway, I'm getting a little,
maybe a little off track, but

366
00:16:38,089 --> 00:16:39,430
probably relevant to the pod, but

367
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,190
Adam Fishman: that's okay.

368
00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:42,250
These are all good conversation topics.

369
00:16:42,319 --> 00:16:46,340
I wanted to ask you what is one
of the more surprising things that

370
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:51,270
you've discovered as a dad since your
son was born that we set the tone.

371
00:16:51,430 --> 00:16:52,289
What do you mean by that?

372
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,870
David Haddad: Well, like I
didn't realize that like, If

373
00:16:54,870 --> 00:16:56,500
you are good, your kid's good.

374
00:16:56,579 --> 00:16:59,660
If you're content and you're
like calm, your kid's calm.

375
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,650
It's just like, sort of like
you're projecting this energy

376
00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:03,980
and they feel the energy.

377
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:09,509
So you set the tone in terms of like,
they're watching us for behavioral cues.

378
00:17:09,509 --> 00:17:13,819
And I think anytime that I've gotten
like frustrated or like he acts out.

379
00:17:14,204 --> 00:17:17,675
Every time I've been like chill,
okay, there's obviously exceptions

380
00:17:17,675 --> 00:17:18,815
where there's nothing I could do.

381
00:17:18,825 --> 00:17:22,454
Like, even if I'm like cool as a cucumber
about something, it doesn't work.

382
00:17:22,525 --> 00:17:26,184
And I've seen this even with my nieces
and even my interaction with them, like

383
00:17:26,684 --> 00:17:30,114
in watching my brother, like when, you
know, he's chill, like they're chill.

384
00:17:30,115 --> 00:17:32,595
I've been seeing this
modeled with other parents.

385
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,744
I didn't realize that they
were watching that closely.

386
00:17:34,794 --> 00:17:38,505
That was been the most surprising thing
is we are really in control of this.

387
00:17:38,505 --> 00:17:41,355
We are the adults in this relationship.

388
00:17:41,590 --> 00:17:42,469
At least right now.

389
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:46,429
And so, you know, we're sort of the
ones responsible for setting the tone.

390
00:17:47,019 --> 00:17:49,370
Adam Fishman: Yeah, no, that makes
it, that makes a ton of sense.

391
00:17:49,370 --> 00:17:52,509
And it's something that a lot of
dads have talked about on this show

392
00:17:52,509 --> 00:17:54,290
is this modeling, this behavior.

393
00:17:54,610 --> 00:17:57,070
It's also something that
doesn't come easy to everybody.

394
00:17:57,269 --> 00:17:57,629
Right.

395
00:17:57,719 --> 00:17:59,419
What do you do if you find yourself.

396
00:18:00,170 --> 00:18:07,790
You know, not modeling or feeling like
you're about to kind of go in a direction

397
00:18:07,790 --> 00:18:09,830
that you're not going to be happy about.

398
00:18:09,830 --> 00:18:13,720
Like, do you do anything to
kind of reset yourself or excuse

399
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,069
yourself from the situation?

400
00:18:15,069 --> 00:18:17,670
Or what's sort of a best practice
that you've found works for you?

401
00:18:18,059 --> 00:18:19,790
David Haddad: For me, it's
just like walking away.

402
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:24,780
It's just walking away for like a minute
and then just taking a deep breath and

403
00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:29,970
then trying to just realize that like,
like he's not doing anything to me.

404
00:18:30,555 --> 00:18:32,955
You know, like he doesn't
have power over me, right?

405
00:18:32,965 --> 00:18:34,375
Like, I think that's the main thing.

406
00:18:34,375 --> 00:18:37,595
And when I just tell myself, he doesn't
have power over me, I'm in control here.

407
00:18:37,995 --> 00:18:40,964
Let me just kind of reset and
then I'll like come back to him.

408
00:18:40,965 --> 00:18:42,635
And then it usually works.

409
00:18:42,635 --> 00:18:45,455
Cause I think he knows that I'm
upset and he can kind of sense, he

410
00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:46,964
kind of changes his tone as well.

411
00:18:46,974 --> 00:18:48,954
So that usually that tends to work.

412
00:18:49,025 --> 00:18:50,655
Also, I learned this, a
lot of this from my wife.

413
00:18:50,655 --> 00:18:53,815
So this is like, not like,
uh, not natural instinct.

414
00:18:53,815 --> 00:18:56,725
I've had to really like, I'm still
working on it, but yeah, yeah.

415
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:58,909
Adam Fishman: Yeah, a
lifelong journey, I think.

416
00:18:58,909 --> 00:19:01,899
I mean, I don't think anybody that
pretends that they're perfect a hundred

417
00:19:01,899 --> 00:19:03,459
percent of the time is being honest.

418
00:19:03,749 --> 00:19:05,659
No, it's human, human nature.

419
00:19:05,909 --> 00:19:07,079
So awesome.

420
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,989
We're going to talk about kids and
food in a second, but the one thing

421
00:19:10,990 --> 00:19:16,029
I wanted to ask you before that is if
you could rewind the clock, you know,

422
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:22,520
three years to a younger David pre
child David, and you've got an extended

423
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:27,570
family and friends and stuff, you're
getting bombarded with parenting advice.

424
00:19:28,010 --> 00:19:29,720
People who are like, Oh,
you're going to have a kid.

425
00:19:29,740 --> 00:19:30,890
You got to do this.

426
00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:31,620
You got to do that.

427
00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:38,140
What piece of advice that you got, would
you tell yourself to completely ignore?

428
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:43,960
Like, what did you find to just be
untrue when you became a dad that

429
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,780
maybe somebody was emphatic about?

430
00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:48,160
This worked for me, so
it's going to work for you.

431
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:49,149
It wasn't

432
00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:50,230
David Haddad: really advice.

433
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:56,000
And I hate saying this because this is,
seems like this is a very American thing.

434
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,810
Cause I don't hear this from my
friends from other parts of the

435
00:19:58,810 --> 00:20:03,400
world is they complain a lot about
children and I let their complaints

436
00:20:03,409 --> 00:20:04,949
about like, Oh, it's so hard.

437
00:20:05,179 --> 00:20:05,939
It's so hard.

438
00:20:05,939 --> 00:20:07,110
You're never going to sleep.

439
00:20:07,390 --> 00:20:08,500
It's so difficult.

440
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,030
Like they're just
constantly like nagging you.

441
00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:11,560
Like.

442
00:20:11,905 --> 00:20:12,675
Good luck.

443
00:20:12,705 --> 00:20:15,675
Like, good luck trying
to get sleep wasn't hard.

444
00:20:16,175 --> 00:20:19,585
I mean, I think it was like a mental
frame and I just, but I let some

445
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:22,495
of that get into my head and it
really stressed me out because I

446
00:20:22,495 --> 00:20:24,075
was like, how am I going to sleep?

447
00:20:24,084 --> 00:20:24,985
How am I going to do work?

448
00:20:24,985 --> 00:20:25,705
How am I going to do this?

449
00:20:25,745 --> 00:20:26,365
How am I going to do that?

450
00:20:26,374 --> 00:20:28,874
And you're just like thinking
about all that stuff again.

451
00:20:28,875 --> 00:20:30,764
I think it's just
Americans love complaining.

452
00:20:30,785 --> 00:20:34,429
I think it's like, you know, it's
just like a natural, like, yeah.

453
00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:37,190
You know, right of passage, being
an American is to complain about

454
00:20:37,190 --> 00:20:40,090
everything, but other parts of
the world, they don't do that.

455
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,600
In my experience, they don't
complain about having children.

456
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,379
It's just like, it is what it is.

457
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,779
It we're having a child
and that's what it is.

458
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,570
And we will handle it as it will come.

459
00:20:49,019 --> 00:20:52,609
It's, you know, as natural
as, you know, drinking water.

460
00:20:52,629 --> 00:20:54,610
It's a big deal, but it's
not that big of a deal.

461
00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:57,810
I think people here, and also
going back to the relationship

462
00:20:57,810 --> 00:20:59,970
dynamics, I think people here.

463
00:21:00,355 --> 00:21:02,044
Have very broken families.

464
00:21:02,105 --> 00:21:05,245
I think people because of
economic opportunities, they're

465
00:21:05,245 --> 00:21:06,985
left alone in a lot of ways.

466
00:21:07,004 --> 00:21:08,675
They're like, they're
away from their families.

467
00:21:08,675 --> 00:21:11,225
They're away from their
community and their network.

468
00:21:11,534 --> 00:21:12,354
And it's hard.

469
00:21:12,495 --> 00:21:14,175
It's just really hard being a parent.

470
00:21:14,214 --> 00:21:18,594
And so you're like, unfortunately, like
hearing all this negativity and you're

471
00:21:18,594 --> 00:21:22,144
seeing like a lot of people talking about
this idyllic sort of like lifestyle on

472
00:21:22,144 --> 00:21:26,679
Instagram or just the socials and like
what being a parent is supposed to be.

473
00:21:26,949 --> 00:21:30,080
And it's like, none of that, it's
none of those extremes, you know?

474
00:21:30,129 --> 00:21:33,489
So I think that there's a lot that
adds to the stress of like, when it

475
00:21:33,489 --> 00:21:37,209
comes to, you know, figuring out how
do you maintain your household and

476
00:21:37,209 --> 00:21:40,250
do the chores and stuff is because
there's like no one helping you.

477
00:21:40,429 --> 00:21:41,479
So that was the biggest thing.

478
00:21:41,479 --> 00:21:44,240
I think I was just like, would
completely disregard anyone

479
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:45,209
telling me that it's hard.

480
00:21:45,660 --> 00:21:48,080
It is hard, but it's also, Amazing.

481
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:54,120
I know when you don't hear a lot of people
talking about how great it is and all the

482
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:56,630
other stuff, most of it is very negative.

483
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:57,740
Adam Fishman: That's really interesting.

484
00:21:57,990 --> 00:22:02,440
Push away the negative, even though it's
hard that you psyching yourself out.

485
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,479
If you like absorb too much of that stuff,

486
00:22:04,530 --> 00:22:08,060
David Haddad: the best advice I got, I had
two pieces of advice, one from a friend's

487
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:10,430
father who said, everything's temporary.

488
00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:12,670
The good's temporary
and the bad's temporary.

489
00:22:13,070 --> 00:22:17,625
That like kept us through like, everything
was just like, Everything's temporary.

490
00:22:17,955 --> 00:22:19,715
The second one was from, what was it?

491
00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:21,105
What was the show Ted lasso.

492
00:22:21,765 --> 00:22:25,004
And it was when Roy, did you, I don't know
if you watched that show at all, but I

493
00:22:25,005 --> 00:22:29,794
did when Roy, Roy was like talking to, I
think he was talking to Ted about his kid.

494
00:22:29,835 --> 00:22:33,584
I don't remember what the context, but
Roy said something like all these kids

495
00:22:33,584 --> 00:22:35,114
want to do is just be part of your life.

496
00:22:35,985 --> 00:22:36,064
Hmm.

497
00:22:36,299 --> 00:22:39,120
And it, and it was just like,
they just wanna do things with

498
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:41,489
you and it's like, that's it.

499
00:22:41,550 --> 00:22:42,689
And it was like, oh, okay.

500
00:22:42,689 --> 00:22:43,590
That was another thing.

501
00:22:43,590 --> 00:22:47,790
Like it didn't need to be so like,
the kids do this and I do that.

502
00:22:47,790 --> 00:22:49,739
It's like, no, we do that stuff together.

503
00:22:49,770 --> 00:22:51,479
That always rubs really like helpful.

504
00:22:51,485 --> 00:22:53,939
And then, and then Neil Degrass
Tyson had something around, like,

505
00:22:54,819 --> 00:22:56,049
they're just little scientists.

506
00:22:56,049 --> 00:22:59,620
They're just trying to understand patterns
and you know, if they're gonna jump in

507
00:22:59,649 --> 00:23:01,710
a puddle, it's because they wanna like.

508
00:23:02,045 --> 00:23:04,265
Experience what that's
like to jump in a puddle.

509
00:23:04,285 --> 00:23:06,665
So it's just like, don't get
mad every single time that

510
00:23:06,665 --> 00:23:07,745
they like try to do something.

511
00:23:07,745 --> 00:23:10,705
They're just little scientists trying
to figure stuff out their world out.

512
00:23:10,745 --> 00:23:12,955
Adam Fishman: That's a really
nice way of thinking about it's

513
00:23:12,955 --> 00:23:14,865
a very positive spin on that.

514
00:23:15,115 --> 00:23:17,265
I often use the Jurassic park reference.

515
00:23:17,265 --> 00:23:20,955
They're like Raptors testing the
fences, but, um, that seems a

516
00:23:20,955 --> 00:23:22,305
little bit more negative probably.

517
00:23:22,965 --> 00:23:23,395
Yeah.

518
00:23:24,705 --> 00:23:25,574
They're jumping in a puddle.

519
00:23:25,574 --> 00:23:26,695
They're just trying to see what happens.

520
00:23:27,064 --> 00:23:27,324
David Haddad: Yeah.

521
00:23:27,324 --> 00:23:29,504
They're dropping an egg cause
they, they're understanding

522
00:23:29,504 --> 00:23:31,945
gravity, you know, like they're,
they're understanding their world.

523
00:23:31,955 --> 00:23:32,844
They don't know anything.

524
00:23:32,844 --> 00:23:33,034
Right.

525
00:23:33,034 --> 00:23:37,225
So I think it's too easy to just
get frustrated and angry about

526
00:23:37,225 --> 00:23:39,064
like them trying to do stuff.

527
00:23:39,095 --> 00:23:41,765
But I think just, you know, taking
a step back and it's like, it's our,

528
00:23:41,825 --> 00:23:45,615
again, it's our job to model and to
teach and all that kind of stuff.

529
00:23:45,615 --> 00:23:46,725
So, well, speaking of

530
00:23:46,775 --> 00:23:47,705
Adam Fishman: dropping an egg.

531
00:23:48,030 --> 00:23:49,560
Let's talk about kids and food.

532
00:23:50,210 --> 00:23:51,250
Look at that segue.

533
00:23:51,290 --> 00:23:53,410
Oh, no, you're going to get a lot of hate

534
00:23:53,410 --> 00:23:54,090
David Haddad: mail for this.

535
00:23:55,879 --> 00:23:57,220
Adam Fishman: I know.

536
00:23:57,569 --> 00:24:01,120
So one thing I wanted to, I just
want to acknowledge one thing,

537
00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:05,680
which for both of us, we are both
Products of a Western civilization.

538
00:24:05,690 --> 00:24:07,880
We are both fairly privileged folks.

539
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:12,189
And I just want to acknowledge that
like feeding your kids, creative

540
00:24:12,209 --> 00:24:17,599
and diverse meals and taking any
amount of time to make food is a

541
00:24:17,599 --> 00:24:19,940
privilege that not everyone has.

542
00:24:19,940 --> 00:24:20,179
Right?

543
00:24:20,179 --> 00:24:21,270
Like some people are very rushed.

544
00:24:21,380 --> 00:24:24,604
They can't, they literally
can't do what they have to do.

545
00:24:24,795 --> 00:24:29,915
Whatever they can now, all that
being said, I imagine that if you

546
00:24:29,925 --> 00:24:36,215
have the privilege of listening to
this podcast, you are probably in a

547
00:24:36,215 --> 00:24:39,175
similar camp to you to you and to me.

548
00:24:39,385 --> 00:24:41,864
And so I'm going to set the.

549
00:24:42,305 --> 00:24:45,535
Privileged part of this conversation
appreciate that for a second and

550
00:24:45,535 --> 00:24:48,155
assume that most of the people who
are listening to this podcast are

551
00:24:48,165 --> 00:24:54,165
probably struggling a bit with getting
their kids to eat good stuff, right?

552
00:24:54,165 --> 00:24:59,095
Even the best of us can default
to chicken nuggets and plain

553
00:24:59,105 --> 00:25:01,055
pasta with butter on it, right?

554
00:25:01,455 --> 00:25:01,955
So.

555
00:25:02,375 --> 00:25:09,485
Tell me about your approach to
food with your son, and what

556
00:25:09,485 --> 00:25:11,045
do you do in your household?

557
00:25:12,965 --> 00:25:13,755
David Haddad: Yeah, this is funny.

558
00:25:13,755 --> 00:25:16,595
I actually posted about some of the rules.

559
00:25:16,694 --> 00:25:19,105
I said these were my rules, not the rules.

560
00:25:19,145 --> 00:25:21,654
But these were just, again,
I'm going to also caveat these

561
00:25:21,654 --> 00:25:23,024
are my rules in the household.

562
00:25:23,045 --> 00:25:26,285
And I call them rules, but
they're obviously flexible, and

563
00:25:26,285 --> 00:25:27,660
we don't Follow them all the time.

564
00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:31,090
Cause it's just, and I didn't
come up largely with these.

565
00:25:31,090 --> 00:25:33,970
I got a lot of help from a
website called solid starts.

566
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,760
There's obviously like a
book that we really like.

567
00:25:36,790 --> 00:25:40,270
The name is escaping me at the moment,
but I will remember it in a minute.

568
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,180
But the author's name is,
he's a doctor named Brazelton.

569
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:45,209
Anyway, we'll find it.

570
00:25:45,209 --> 00:25:46,209
Yeah.

571
00:25:46,209 --> 00:25:49,690
So what I've noticed, what is going
on as I think what ends up happening

572
00:25:49,690 --> 00:25:52,700
is that parents, this is going
back to like modeling the behavior.

573
00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:55,460
I think that a lot of times parents are.

574
00:25:56,659 --> 00:26:01,360
And again, I don't mean to say, I'm
not trying to cast aspersions, but

575
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:06,489
I find a lot of times when it comes
to the dinner table, the parents

576
00:26:06,489 --> 00:26:07,679
are afraid of their children.

577
00:26:08,149 --> 00:26:11,020
And I feel like they're
afraid that like, Oh, well,

578
00:26:13,090 --> 00:26:17,079
little Jimmy doesn't like what
I'm making and he's going to cry.

579
00:26:17,229 --> 00:26:20,350
So I'd rather just have him
stop crying and I'm going to

580
00:26:20,350 --> 00:26:21,879
just give him what he wants.

581
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,560
Like, I'll just give him
chicken nuggets and pasta.

582
00:26:25,010 --> 00:26:28,850
So I've seen this with a lot of friends
that they will be like short order cooks.

583
00:26:29,170 --> 00:26:32,910
And so they're just like making
separate meals for their child.

584
00:26:33,570 --> 00:26:36,199
And it's just like the most,
the craziest thing in the world.

585
00:26:36,230 --> 00:26:38,659
I never grew up, I don't know
if you did, but I never grew up

586
00:26:38,660 --> 00:26:41,810
with like, my mom would make food
and we'd say, what's for dinner?

587
00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:43,870
And she's like, get up here
and see what I'm making.

588
00:26:43,870 --> 00:26:45,750
I'm not telling you,
I'm not like a waiter.

589
00:26:46,260 --> 00:26:49,709
Giving you like a restaurant menu of
like what you get your options to eat.

590
00:26:49,709 --> 00:26:50,669
We're eating food.

591
00:26:50,669 --> 00:26:51,219
This is dinner.

592
00:26:51,219 --> 00:26:52,189
We're eating together.

593
00:26:52,580 --> 00:26:56,360
So I wrote a post about this, about
my rules and some of these things.

594
00:26:56,369 --> 00:26:57,730
And I got like a lot.

595
00:26:57,730 --> 00:26:58,560
I got some hate.

596
00:26:58,560 --> 00:26:59,689
People called me Hitler.

597
00:26:59,829 --> 00:27:01,040
People called me Stalin.

598
00:27:01,270 --> 00:27:02,399
People said, good luck.

599
00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:05,590
You know, in the nursing home, when
your kids don't come to see you,

600
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,070
you're too strict with your children.

601
00:27:07,420 --> 00:27:09,050
And then I got a lot of
support from dads too.

602
00:27:09,050 --> 00:27:11,900
And so I think that I struck
a nerve with this thing, but

603
00:27:12,110 --> 00:27:13,885
what I do, it's not Difficult.

604
00:27:13,905 --> 00:27:18,185
It's just like, it's like a little bit of
my responsibility is to like make a meal.

605
00:27:18,335 --> 00:27:20,755
We sit down together
at the table every day.

606
00:27:20,955 --> 00:27:26,415
I wrote about this as well as like
Barack Obama, you know, whenever he

607
00:27:26,415 --> 00:27:30,175
wasn't traveling, he was at the dinner
table every night with his family.

608
00:27:30,184 --> 00:27:32,804
Like you and I are not
as busy as Barack Obama.

609
00:27:32,804 --> 00:27:35,524
We are not solving world
conflict and world problems.

610
00:27:35,534 --> 00:27:37,115
So what excuse do we have?

611
00:27:37,315 --> 00:27:38,835
To not like have dinner with our family.

612
00:27:38,835 --> 00:27:42,585
I think a lot of families when I,
what I saw in the exchange over on

613
00:27:42,585 --> 00:27:45,874
the internet and people on, I mean,
this is like Reddit too, where people

614
00:27:45,875 --> 00:27:49,474
are pretty, you know, pretty mean,
but I think what I saw is like a lot

615
00:27:49,475 --> 00:27:51,264
of talking about only good things.

616
00:27:51,525 --> 00:27:52,784
Only nice people are on Reddit.

617
00:27:52,784 --> 00:27:54,144
There's such a kind community.

618
00:27:54,195 --> 00:27:58,015
Uh, I love Reddit, but you know, like
a lot of families eat separately.

619
00:27:58,025 --> 00:27:59,455
They eat in different rooms.

620
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,180
They don't eat together or
they eat at different times.

621
00:28:02,220 --> 00:28:04,720
Like, I know a lot of friends
they'll be like, well, my kids eat

622
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:08,710
at like five, five 30, but like,
we're not hungry at five, five 30.

623
00:28:08,980 --> 00:28:11,139
So we'll eat at like seven
or eight o'clock because

624
00:28:11,140 --> 00:28:11,980
that's when we want to eat.

625
00:28:12,109 --> 00:28:14,010
But like, you're not
eating with your kids.

626
00:28:14,019 --> 00:28:15,410
You're not modeling the behavior.

627
00:28:15,410 --> 00:28:16,980
And it means there's a sacrifice there.

628
00:28:16,980 --> 00:28:20,170
Like, yeah, you might need to start
eating between five and six o'clock.

629
00:28:20,340 --> 00:28:22,210
That's like, you know, grandpa hour.

630
00:28:22,530 --> 00:28:25,640
You know, that's the blue plate
special hour, but you know, you're

631
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,780
going to just have to adjust with
that in order to model the behaviors.

632
00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:30,960
So I think for, for us, we eat together.

633
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,370
There's no devices.

634
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:36,279
We try to have some
conversation around the food.

635
00:28:36,279 --> 00:28:38,180
We try to have as much
uplifting conversations.

636
00:28:38,180 --> 00:28:39,720
We've talked to my son about his day.

637
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:40,870
We talk about our days.

638
00:28:41,070 --> 00:28:42,510
He hears what we're up to.

639
00:28:42,730 --> 00:28:44,520
You know, he doesn't get another option.

640
00:28:44,540 --> 00:28:45,680
He gets what he gets.

641
00:28:45,690 --> 00:28:50,570
You know, he doesn't, Get to have like
other kinds of foods he gets as many, you

642
00:28:50,570 --> 00:28:55,409
know, vegetables and meat and protein or
whatever he wants But if he's like I want

643
00:28:55,419 --> 00:28:58,780
like a ton more carbs like we don't like
I mean if we're traveling or something

644
00:28:58,790 --> 00:29:01,949
Obviously, it's not like these are not
hard fast I'm not like a dictator about

645
00:29:01,949 --> 00:29:06,669
this But it's just like he gets what we
eat and I think that's the main thing

646
00:29:06,689 --> 00:29:09,929
and if he doesn't eat it That's okay.

647
00:29:10,289 --> 00:29:12,209
I'm not going to give
him anything else to eat.

648
00:29:12,570 --> 00:29:14,029
And so he will be fine.

649
00:29:14,209 --> 00:29:15,149
He will be hungry.

650
00:29:15,419 --> 00:29:16,939
And the next day he will eat.

651
00:29:17,659 --> 00:29:19,539
He'll be very hungry the
next day and he will eat.

652
00:29:19,860 --> 00:29:20,749
These are my rules.

653
00:29:20,749 --> 00:29:20,939
These are.

654
00:29:21,510 --> 00:29:24,960
Quote unquote rules, but it's just
sort of like coming back to the basics.

655
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:28,990
Like this didn't exist 30 years ago
where kids like got to eat whatever

656
00:29:28,990 --> 00:29:31,340
they wanted and eat in the room.

657
00:29:31,610 --> 00:29:34,909
I think in my age and the eighties,
early nineties, kids did eat in

658
00:29:34,909 --> 00:29:37,380
their room and they like play video
games and stuff in their room.

659
00:29:37,889 --> 00:29:40,580
But I think it's gotten to a point now
where like kids are on their phones

660
00:29:40,580 --> 00:29:43,860
and kids are just like watching TV
or they're like doing, I mean, it's

661
00:29:43,860 --> 00:29:45,430
just gotten kind of out of control.

662
00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:48,350
I think once that starts getting
established, like your job

663
00:29:48,350 --> 00:29:49,620
isn't to like make them eat.

664
00:29:49,860 --> 00:29:50,480
All the food.

665
00:29:50,490 --> 00:29:54,060
It's just to like present it and
be together and just build the

666
00:29:54,060 --> 00:29:57,530
habit and the repetition in terms
of like doing that together.

667
00:29:57,550 --> 00:30:00,450
So it's, you know, again,
I'm not an expert in this.

668
00:30:00,450 --> 00:30:03,340
Like, I'm not like a child
expert in like how to do this.

669
00:30:03,380 --> 00:30:05,380
You know, we have
challenging days, no doubt.

670
00:30:05,389 --> 00:30:07,300
Like there are days where he
doesn't want to, he throws the

671
00:30:07,300 --> 00:30:08,440
food, he doesn't want to eat it.

672
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:10,840
And like, like, that's okay.

673
00:30:11,150 --> 00:30:13,254
Like he's gonna, I'm not
gonna, I'm not, yeah.

674
00:30:13,415 --> 00:30:17,295
backing down to whatever he wants
just because he wants pasta.

675
00:30:17,575 --> 00:30:18,915
Like I made a very good soup.

676
00:30:18,985 --> 00:30:22,535
It has all the nutrients that he
needs in there and he doesn't want it.

677
00:30:22,545 --> 00:30:25,304
He can, you know, tough luck.

678
00:30:25,595 --> 00:30:27,484
He'll be hungry tomorrow and he'll

679
00:30:27,484 --> 00:30:28,594
Adam Fishman: eat a great breakfast.

680
00:30:28,885 --> 00:30:28,975
That's

681
00:30:28,975 --> 00:30:29,335
David Haddad: right.

682
00:30:29,444 --> 00:30:30,355
It always happens.

683
00:30:30,355 --> 00:30:30,665
Yeah.

684
00:30:30,744 --> 00:30:31,004
Adam Fishman: Yeah.

685
00:30:31,974 --> 00:30:36,550
What is something that you make
that your son Absolutely loves.

686
00:30:36,590 --> 00:30:38,110
What's a dad meal?

687
00:30:38,290 --> 00:30:38,930
What's a Mr.

688
00:30:38,930 --> 00:30:41,350
Branzino meal that your
son looks forward to?

689
00:30:41,420 --> 00:30:43,230
David Haddad: He loves,
he loves meatballs.

690
00:30:43,330 --> 00:30:44,609
I made a chicken soup yesterday.

691
00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:47,569
He loved, he does like when
I do make pasta type dishes.

692
00:30:47,569 --> 00:30:48,900
I mean, that's just fun for him.

693
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,410
I made empanadas over the weekend.

694
00:30:50,410 --> 00:30:51,239
He loved that.

695
00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:52,640
Like he loves chimichurri.

696
00:30:52,649 --> 00:30:56,230
He loves grilled, you know, whenever
I barbecue, I've noticed anytime

697
00:30:56,230 --> 00:30:59,750
that I involve him in the food and
the making of the food, he eats it.

698
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:00,370
He eats.

699
00:31:00,795 --> 00:31:01,765
most of the food.

700
00:31:02,065 --> 00:31:02,295
Yeah.

701
00:31:02,325 --> 00:31:04,795
He usually likes most of
what it is that I make.

702
00:31:04,795 --> 00:31:06,875
I'd say like 70, 80
percent of what I make.

703
00:31:06,875 --> 00:31:09,055
He, he eats pretty, pretty well.

704
00:31:09,734 --> 00:31:13,264
Adam Fishman: A lot of people
would be intimidated about letting

705
00:31:13,265 --> 00:31:15,685
their kid who's not even three.

706
00:31:16,095 --> 00:31:17,995
Help them in the kitchen or help.

707
00:31:18,045 --> 00:31:22,785
I put help in air quotes so much
that a, that a young kid can do,

708
00:31:23,135 --> 00:31:26,695
but you talked about including
him in the making of the food.

709
00:31:26,695 --> 00:31:28,865
So what are some things that you've found?

710
00:31:29,524 --> 00:31:34,084
And again, it could be unique to
your situation, but what are some

711
00:31:34,094 --> 00:31:36,784
things that your son helps you with?

712
00:31:37,024 --> 00:31:40,795
And again, remember to the folks who
are listening, he's not even three.

713
00:31:41,420 --> 00:31:45,230
David Haddad: So various things like
we got from Target, one of those stand

714
00:31:45,230 --> 00:31:46,790
things that go against the counter.

715
00:31:46,850 --> 00:31:50,120
Uh, they go up to the countertop, they're
like eye level with the countertop.

716
00:31:50,630 --> 00:31:53,030
Well, he's not at eye level, but
anyway, he's at the countertop.

717
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:57,290
Whisking, I'll let him like crack
an egg 'cause it's fun for him.

718
00:31:57,295 --> 00:32:00,770
I let him, like when we hard boiled
eggs, like he peels it, he likes

719
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:02,450
peeling it and crushing the egg.

720
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,520
I let him peel garlic.

721
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,460
I let him smash the garlic in
a little mortar and pestle.

722
00:32:07,730 --> 00:32:09,500
I mean, don't tell my wife
this, but I let him like help.

723
00:32:09,525 --> 00:32:12,155
He flipped the steak on the grill
the other day, which is like

724
00:32:12,155 --> 00:32:13,315
kind of too close to the fire.

725
00:32:13,315 --> 00:32:14,715
But I'm sure

726
00:32:14,715 --> 00:32:16,715
Adam Fishman: your wife will
never listen to this episode.

727
00:32:16,715 --> 00:32:20,795
So it's just safe between the two of us

728
00:32:20,845 --> 00:32:21,805
David Haddad: and maybe the world.

729
00:32:21,845 --> 00:32:25,845
But anyway, so what else, as long as
it's not going to involve him, like

730
00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:27,635
cutting his finger, like burning himself.

731
00:32:27,635 --> 00:32:30,845
Like I just let him try to do
some, like we made empanadas.

732
00:32:30,885 --> 00:32:33,045
I gave him a little scooper,
like an ice cream scooper.

733
00:32:33,045 --> 00:32:36,654
And he had like fun, like scooping out
the mix and throwing it into the empanada.

734
00:32:36,850 --> 00:32:37,520
Pastry dough.

735
00:32:37,830 --> 00:32:40,330
I let him take a fork to do some crimping.

736
00:32:40,660 --> 00:32:41,470
So little things.

737
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:42,820
He's not like fully cooking.

738
00:32:42,830 --> 00:32:45,580
Like it's just like little,
little, little tasks that like

739
00:32:45,580 --> 00:32:47,080
make him feel like pretty included.

740
00:32:47,100 --> 00:32:48,360
I give him some gloves.

741
00:32:48,580 --> 00:32:49,800
He likes the gloves.

742
00:32:49,850 --> 00:32:50,779
That's basically it.

743
00:32:50,779 --> 00:32:53,150
I mean, this is stuff that like
my grandma would let me do.

744
00:32:53,439 --> 00:32:56,260
You know, we would go to the farmer's
market and go get fava beans.

745
00:32:56,260 --> 00:32:58,400
And you know, my grandma would be
like, all right, you're picking the

746
00:32:58,660 --> 00:33:02,890
the fava beans or, you know, We would
get these leaves that we would use

747
00:33:02,890 --> 00:33:06,410
to make kind of a stew, like kind of
a spinach y style stew, and they're

748
00:33:06,410 --> 00:33:08,865
like these big Big leave things.

749
00:33:08,865 --> 00:33:11,725
And so we would like just sit there
with my grandma and my mom, just like

750
00:33:11,725 --> 00:33:13,065
picking, picking, picking, picking.

751
00:33:13,065 --> 00:33:14,605
And it's just like stuff that the kids do.

752
00:33:14,605 --> 00:33:19,764
We used to mortar and pestle
and yeah, yeah, just easy stuff.

753
00:33:19,984 --> 00:33:20,435
Adam Fishman: That's good.

754
00:33:20,645 --> 00:33:22,575
As long as it's safe, they can do it.

755
00:33:23,035 --> 00:33:24,195
You know, they may not do it.

756
00:33:24,815 --> 00:33:28,145
As well as you would, but no,

757
00:33:28,235 --> 00:33:31,435
David Haddad: and it takes longer, it
does take longer, which is a little,

758
00:33:31,655 --> 00:33:35,315
it can be frustrating when you're in
a pinch of time, but it's beautiful.

759
00:33:35,345 --> 00:33:36,554
I think it's a beautiful thing.

760
00:33:36,565 --> 00:33:42,575
I read a quote from technon hot Han, the
Buddhist kind of philosopher guy, and

761
00:33:42,575 --> 00:33:44,515
he said that nothing comes from nothing.

762
00:33:44,955 --> 00:33:47,644
And I think it's important
for them to understand that.

763
00:33:48,135 --> 00:33:50,195
The food that we're making
comes from the earth.

764
00:33:50,205 --> 00:33:52,195
It comes from people who put it together.

765
00:33:52,215 --> 00:33:55,235
Like they package something or
they like cut it from the earth

766
00:33:55,235 --> 00:33:57,605
and like, they're preparing it.

767
00:33:57,625 --> 00:34:02,745
And, you know, I think associating
yourself with the food is important to,

768
00:34:02,765 --> 00:34:05,084
you know, we, we build products too.

769
00:34:05,084 --> 00:34:05,294
Right.

770
00:34:05,295 --> 00:34:08,224
We got to give like free samples and
we got to give them some sort of like

771
00:34:08,224 --> 00:34:09,824
teaser to make them want to come in.

772
00:34:09,885 --> 00:34:13,355
And so if you're just like, people
want to feel more involved in the

773
00:34:13,355 --> 00:34:18,605
products so they can have, you know,
have retention with the product.

774
00:34:19,750 --> 00:34:20,550
You know, in the end.

775
00:34:20,670 --> 00:34:21,380
Adam Fishman: I love that.

776
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:22,150
David Haddad: Yeah.

777
00:34:22,570 --> 00:34:25,910
Adam Fishman: So I wanted to transition
to our last topic, which is you've

778
00:34:25,910 --> 00:34:32,870
made it part of your mission to
teach dads how to cook, get dads more

779
00:34:32,870 --> 00:34:34,850
comfortable in the kitchen, right?

780
00:34:34,850 --> 00:34:37,720
Which is like a very positive
step in the right direction.

781
00:34:37,769 --> 00:34:39,830
And so I wanted to start and just ask you.

782
00:34:40,830 --> 00:34:45,970
Why do you think, and in the
conversations that you have with

783
00:34:45,990 --> 00:34:51,190
people about cooking, what do you hear
from people when they say, like, why

784
00:34:51,199 --> 00:34:53,730
they're not comfortable in the kitchen?

785
00:34:53,739 --> 00:34:59,330
What makes dads, and that's, again,
the audience for the show, what makes

786
00:34:59,330 --> 00:35:01,109
dads so uncomfortable in the kitchen?

787
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:02,539
What are we worried about?

788
00:35:03,149 --> 00:35:04,479
David Haddad: It's this
really weird thing.

789
00:35:04,479 --> 00:35:09,045
It's like, guys are very We have big egos.

790
00:35:09,205 --> 00:35:12,405
We have, a lot of us have very big
egos, especially in probably the

791
00:35:12,435 --> 00:35:16,025
audiences listening to this have like,
you know, we're successful in certain

792
00:35:16,025 --> 00:35:19,974
ways, like professionally, and we get
into the nitty gritty with numbers.

793
00:35:19,975 --> 00:35:21,714
We're able to dissect certain things.

794
00:35:21,714 --> 00:35:25,024
And so there's a sort of like, we
have an ego around that, but when

795
00:35:25,024 --> 00:35:28,985
it comes to this thing that is like
so primal, which is like, to cook.

796
00:35:29,025 --> 00:35:31,985
It's like, I just don't know how to do it.

797
00:35:32,035 --> 00:35:34,935
There's this weird sort of like anxiety.

798
00:35:34,975 --> 00:35:39,384
There's guys on some ends of the scale
that are like, they feel weird because of

799
00:35:39,384 --> 00:35:43,094
the gender dynamic, even though that we're
living in some, you know, partnership

800
00:35:43,094 --> 00:35:46,435
times and modern times, they still feel
like, Oh, this is what women still do.

801
00:35:47,065 --> 00:35:49,945
You also have on the other end,
like a lot of guys are like,

802
00:35:49,945 --> 00:35:51,405
well, this is what my mom did.

803
00:35:51,405 --> 00:35:54,235
Like, yeah, that's again,
going back to the gender thing.

804
00:35:54,235 --> 00:36:00,005
And so, A lot of guys, they feel like
they can read a recipe, but they get very

805
00:36:00,015 --> 00:36:05,095
nervous because they don't know every
single thing about like everything because

806
00:36:05,095 --> 00:36:08,135
of maybe like their analytical brains,
especially in the, you know, in the tech

807
00:36:08,135 --> 00:36:11,684
world, like guys are very smart and they
want to know everything about everything

808
00:36:11,685 --> 00:36:13,255
and they intellectualize everything.

809
00:36:13,565 --> 00:36:17,535
And so because they don't know what
something is, they lack curiosity

810
00:36:17,535 --> 00:36:21,695
and they kind of get freaked out and
they just Default to like ordering

811
00:36:21,695 --> 00:36:24,395
out or something, or they burn
the food or they do other things.

812
00:36:24,395 --> 00:36:27,875
So there's just, I don't know, there's
a lot of weird, invisible kind of

813
00:36:27,885 --> 00:36:29,275
scripts that they tell themselves.

814
00:36:29,285 --> 00:36:31,205
Like, I'm not good at this.

815
00:36:31,215 --> 00:36:32,015
It's like anything.

816
00:36:32,015 --> 00:36:34,525
It's like people who don't
know much about exercise.

817
00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:36,530
They start, you know, Well, I don't know.

818
00:36:36,540 --> 00:36:37,730
I don't want to hurt myself.

819
00:36:37,730 --> 00:36:40,730
So, you know, like that's another one.

820
00:36:40,730 --> 00:36:43,450
Like they fear they're going to
hurt themselves or cut their finger.

821
00:36:43,670 --> 00:36:46,010
There's just like all sorts of
these stories that I'm like,

822
00:36:46,050 --> 00:36:49,109
cause I've been like helping a
lot of guys along this journey.

823
00:36:49,109 --> 00:36:53,509
And it's just, yeah, it's interesting
where they start in terms of like the

824
00:36:53,510 --> 00:36:54,940
stories they tell themselves about it.

825
00:36:55,429 --> 00:36:56,449
They're just very overwhelmed.

826
00:36:56,579 --> 00:37:01,500
They feel very overwhelmed by like
how much stuff has to go into a meal.

827
00:37:01,510 --> 00:37:05,385
They feel overwhelmed by
like, The complexity, quote

828
00:37:05,385 --> 00:37:07,605
unquote, complexity of cooking.

829
00:37:07,625 --> 00:37:08,725
So there's just a lot of

830
00:37:08,885 --> 00:37:09,545
Adam Fishman: feelings.

831
00:37:09,725 --> 00:37:13,834
So when you're working with a new
dad and trying to teach them how to

832
00:37:13,835 --> 00:37:16,785
cook, describe your system to me.

833
00:37:16,864 --> 00:37:21,054
You know, one of the things I read on
your site and in our conversation was

834
00:37:21,054 --> 00:37:25,315
about taking about two hours and being
able to prep an entire week's worth of

835
00:37:25,315 --> 00:37:32,030
food, which feels like one of those things
that's like, And over promise, right?

836
00:37:32,050 --> 00:37:34,540
In just two hours, you'll
make a week's worth of food.

837
00:37:34,830 --> 00:37:37,920
But I actually saw some of the
pictures of stuff that you made.

838
00:37:38,110 --> 00:37:38,400
David Haddad: Yeah.

839
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,560
Adam Fishman: And I think, you
know, there was like a creativity

840
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,839
involved where you're like, Oh, if I
do this, then I can reuse this here.

841
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,869
And I could reuse this year and I make
this and like, you know, et cetera.

842
00:37:46,869 --> 00:37:50,230
And then suddenly it was
like the permutations of.

843
00:37:50,505 --> 00:37:54,975
Interesting recipes came out of, you know,
what was around two hours of investment.

844
00:37:54,975 --> 00:37:58,974
So I guess all this is to say, like,
let's go back to my original question,

845
00:37:58,975 --> 00:38:00,304
which is tell me about your system.

846
00:38:00,635 --> 00:38:00,864
The

847
00:38:00,864 --> 00:38:05,984
David Haddad: system is look, it's a
little bit, the cooking is around two

848
00:38:05,985 --> 00:38:07,845
hours and it's not two hours at one time.

849
00:38:07,895 --> 00:38:08,905
I think that's part of it.

850
00:38:09,195 --> 00:38:11,425
So obviously you have to do a
little bit of planning and you

851
00:38:11,425 --> 00:38:13,635
also have to do a little, you
have to obviously do the shopping,

852
00:38:13,635 --> 00:38:14,525
but you don't have to go do that.

853
00:38:14,525 --> 00:38:17,025
You can also do Instacart and sure.

854
00:38:17,155 --> 00:38:18,304
Amazon fresh or whatever.

855
00:38:18,325 --> 00:38:19,525
I enjoy the shopping, but.

856
00:38:20,350 --> 00:38:21,320
It's four parts.

857
00:38:21,380 --> 00:38:23,220
It's planning programming.

858
00:38:23,220 --> 00:38:24,830
So that's the P I call it Pisces.

859
00:38:25,230 --> 00:38:27,010
So Branzino fish, Pisces

860
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:28,480
Adam Fishman: together to me.

861
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:28,879
Yeah.

862
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:29,330
Yeah.

863
00:38:29,450 --> 00:38:29,620
David Haddad: Yeah.

864
00:38:29,620 --> 00:38:29,820
Yeah.

865
00:38:29,820 --> 00:38:30,080
Yeah.

866
00:38:30,130 --> 00:38:31,320
Anyway, the Mr.

867
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:36,080
Branzino brand comes from like Branzino
is this like fish that my wife and I

868
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,109
would always eat when we were dating.

869
00:38:37,109 --> 00:38:37,909
It's our love fish.

870
00:38:37,910 --> 00:38:41,150
So this is, you know, it was like
the birthing of our son is like,

871
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,030
Adam Fishman: yeah, it's
all, it's also the name.

872
00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:47,000
If you've ever seen the
movie, Luca, the kids movie.

873
00:38:47,345 --> 00:38:49,255
He lives underwater, and Mr.

874
00:38:49,255 --> 00:38:49,695
and Mrs.

875
00:38:49,705 --> 00:38:52,165
Branzino are a neighbor of his.

876
00:38:52,265 --> 00:38:53,165
Oh, no way.

877
00:38:53,225 --> 00:38:58,214
I think they're fish, or they're like
some sea creature, but they're named Mr.

878
00:38:58,214 --> 00:38:58,394
and Mrs.

879
00:38:58,395 --> 00:38:59,155
Branzino.

880
00:38:59,225 --> 00:39:01,414
David Haddad: I'm gonna get taken
down by Disney or something now.

881
00:39:01,425 --> 00:39:02,125
Okay, here we go.

882
00:39:03,095 --> 00:39:03,415
Never.

883
00:39:03,805 --> 00:39:04,225
So, so it's.

884
00:39:04,570 --> 00:39:05,870
Planning and programming.

885
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,240
And I think this is like the essence
of how you're able to get a lot of

886
00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:09,590
stuff done is around the programming.

887
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:10,630
That's the hardest part.

888
00:39:10,950 --> 00:39:13,740
The planning, once you kind of get used
to it and I can go into like how we do

889
00:39:13,740 --> 00:39:16,329
it, how I do it is pretty straightforward.

890
00:39:16,350 --> 00:39:19,299
And then it's the shopping,
cooking, and then eating.

891
00:39:19,590 --> 00:39:23,259
So the planning, you have to spend
like maybe 15 minutes doing it.

892
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:27,400
And you're kind of just like looking
for, is there a, maybe you went out to

893
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:31,390
a restaurant and you were like, Oh, I
really liked that like meal or that dish.

894
00:39:31,390 --> 00:39:33,830
Or like, we went to like, had
Thai food or Mexican food.

895
00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:35,609
And then you just want to play
around with that type of thing.

896
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:42,080
ethnic theme, or you're like, Oh, I want
to try like more Italian this week or more

897
00:39:42,090 --> 00:39:43,920
Mexican this week or something like that.

898
00:39:43,940 --> 00:39:47,069
Or maybe there's like a holiday
coming up, or maybe you have a diet

899
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,920
that you're trying to do because
you're trying to lose weight or gain

900
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:51,500
weight or do, you know, whatever.

901
00:39:51,530 --> 00:39:55,200
I try to make a lot of the planning
based around protein, just because that

902
00:39:55,270 --> 00:39:58,440
usually is the star of our show in our
house that might not be in other people's

903
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:03,140
homes, but in our home, we try to balance
between protein, carbs and vegetables.

904
00:40:03,180 --> 00:40:06,155
And then it's just about
like, Programming that out.

905
00:40:06,205 --> 00:40:10,315
And so the programming comes to like
where you're doing like about an hour

906
00:40:10,995 --> 00:40:13,625
and a half ish of cooking on a Sunday.

907
00:40:13,994 --> 00:40:15,484
So you're planning on a Friday.

908
00:40:15,885 --> 00:40:17,035
You're shopping on Saturday.

909
00:40:17,035 --> 00:40:18,435
And this is very simplistic.

910
00:40:18,455 --> 00:40:21,115
This is obviously you can adapt
this to your own needs, but

911
00:40:21,384 --> 00:40:22,585
you're planning on a Friday.

912
00:40:22,775 --> 00:40:23,975
You're shopping on Saturday.

913
00:40:24,195 --> 00:40:27,675
You're doing like one batch of
meals that you're doing on Sunday.

914
00:40:27,855 --> 00:40:29,705
And this is like not novel, right?

915
00:40:29,705 --> 00:40:33,055
Like it's just, that's how I do it,
but I'm able to do it very quickly.

916
00:40:33,305 --> 00:40:36,395
And then the key here is to
take the main protein that you

917
00:40:36,395 --> 00:40:38,515
do on that Sunday and remix it.

918
00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:41,405
So the remix comes in on Monday, Tuesday.

919
00:40:41,454 --> 00:40:46,095
So I'll do like, depending on the weather,
it's either like more coldish weather

920
00:40:46,095 --> 00:40:50,180
is more like soupy and then more like,
You know, warmer weather will be more

921
00:40:50,180 --> 00:40:52,560
salady and then Tuesdays are more tacos.

922
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:56,140
So it's more like wraps and sandwiches
and things like that on Tuesdays.

923
00:40:56,460 --> 00:40:58,230
Wednesdays will be more like a one pot.

924
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,370
I like the thematic size and
that's not a word, but like to

925
00:41:01,370 --> 00:41:02,879
make every day into like a theme.

926
00:41:02,879 --> 00:41:05,500
So there's just like easier
to like systemize the work.

927
00:41:05,789 --> 00:41:07,689
And so when you're cooking
throughout the week, you're like.

928
00:41:08,170 --> 00:41:09,600
10 minutes, five minutes.

929
00:41:09,610 --> 00:41:12,580
You're just taking the main
thing and remixing it in a way.

930
00:41:12,580 --> 00:41:13,960
That's like pretty easy.

931
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:15,570
It's just changing the form factor.

932
00:41:15,810 --> 00:41:17,820
I just wanted to caveat
that's only for family dinner.

933
00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:19,039
That's only for dinner food.

934
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:22,080
If you're trying to do like lunches and
breakfast, that will increase your time

935
00:41:22,089 --> 00:41:23,899
because you have to also consider that.

936
00:41:23,899 --> 00:41:26,539
But I think family dinner is the
thing that we're trying to like

937
00:41:26,540 --> 00:41:29,299
focus on for dads is just doing that.

938
00:41:29,699 --> 00:41:33,020
And then I do also recommend, you
know, like people going out to

939
00:41:33,020 --> 00:41:34,760
dinner if you can't afford it.

940
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,840
Even if you're like, Oh, I want to go to
like Chick fil a or I'm going to go to,

941
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,830
I've never been there, but if I hear it's
good, but like, if you go to those types

942
00:41:40,830 --> 00:41:45,240
of like fast food places or in and out,
or that's okay, like you deserve a break.

943
00:41:45,270 --> 00:41:48,049
And it's not like every night has
to be like this gourmet thing.

944
00:41:48,089 --> 00:41:51,709
I think you should budget for
that and enjoy, and it helps you

945
00:41:51,709 --> 00:41:55,109
like expand your palate, expand
your horizon of what's possible.

946
00:41:55,549 --> 00:41:56,899
You start getting new ideas.

947
00:41:56,909 --> 00:42:00,350
You start like, you know, exploring
your city and your locale.

948
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:03,110
Like, I think it's a cool, it's
a great way to like, Break it

949
00:42:03,110 --> 00:42:04,690
up so you're not always cooking.

950
00:42:04,700 --> 00:42:05,690
Cause it gets boring.

951
00:42:05,690 --> 00:42:07,050
And I'm sure you feel this way.

952
00:42:07,050 --> 00:42:10,470
It gets sometimes pretty boring,
like cooking the same similar

953
00:42:10,470 --> 00:42:11,650
things over and over again.

954
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:12,849
Adam Fishman: So walk me through.

955
00:42:12,849 --> 00:42:18,390
So Pisces is the, is the acronym
and that's planning, programming.

956
00:42:19,025 --> 00:42:21,685
And then what I miss shopping,

957
00:42:21,895 --> 00:42:22,615
David Haddad: cooking, eating.

958
00:42:22,615 --> 00:42:22,915
Yeah.

959
00:42:23,215 --> 00:42:27,604
So the shopping in general, we're
very blessed to be in California.

960
00:42:27,895 --> 00:42:30,955
We have like a lot of great farmer's
markets and whatnot, but you know, we

961
00:42:30,955 --> 00:42:35,109
do like usually like a Saturday or a
Sunday farmer's market day in California.

962
00:42:35,570 --> 00:42:37,070
It's also an outing for the kid.

963
00:42:37,070 --> 00:42:41,370
And this is when I went back to the
Roy from Ted Lasso, which is that like,

964
00:42:41,450 --> 00:42:42,770
they just want to be part of your life.

965
00:42:42,790 --> 00:42:46,620
Like, I think that the shopping
is like a great experience.

966
00:42:46,620 --> 00:42:49,219
It's also like, you know, they get
to see where the food comes from.

967
00:42:49,219 --> 00:42:50,770
So we always do farmer's market.

968
00:42:50,770 --> 00:42:54,179
Like once a week, we get our fruits,
we get our veggies based upon what

969
00:42:54,179 --> 00:42:55,680
I had come up with at the meal plan.

970
00:42:56,070 --> 00:42:57,410
I shop like a grandma.

971
00:42:57,620 --> 00:42:58,320
Which is,

972
00:42:58,970 --> 00:42:59,890
Adam Fishman: what does that mean?

973
00:43:00,060 --> 00:43:03,070
David Haddad: This is like, if you
talk to any grandma, like from old

974
00:43:03,070 --> 00:43:06,949
world or just, you know, I'm at a
point now where I don't like plan super

975
00:43:06,949 --> 00:43:10,420
hard because I let the market kind
of tell me what I should be making.

976
00:43:10,699 --> 00:43:15,249
So if you see like a, you know,
Oh wow, there's a pot roast

977
00:43:15,279 --> 00:43:17,170
is on sale for one 99 a pound.

978
00:43:17,750 --> 00:43:20,590
You're going to make pot roast
like, or chickens on sale.

979
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:21,670
Like you're going to make chicken.

980
00:43:21,670 --> 00:43:21,900
Right.

981
00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:26,160
So you kind of like change your menu
based upon what you get from the market.

982
00:43:26,399 --> 00:43:27,380
I shop for things that are like.

983
00:43:28,125 --> 00:43:31,795
You know, inexpensive, usually
great value and then things

984
00:43:31,795 --> 00:43:33,315
that look beautiful and tasty.

985
00:43:33,635 --> 00:43:37,615
We alternate every week with
like Costco and Whole Foods.

986
00:43:37,835 --> 00:43:39,335
So we go back and forth between the two.

987
00:43:39,405 --> 00:43:42,264
Costco is like the number one
thing you can do as a family is

988
00:43:42,265 --> 00:43:43,854
just having a Costco membership.

989
00:43:43,854 --> 00:43:46,794
It's the best, whatever,
a hundred bucks a year.

990
00:43:46,795 --> 00:43:48,075
You're going to spend for

991
00:43:48,145 --> 00:43:49,355
Adam Fishman: all your food needs.

992
00:43:49,375 --> 00:43:53,555
Or if you also need to buy
a trampoline, uh, or, or

993
00:43:53,555 --> 00:43:55,790
David Haddad: a refrigerator,
uh, Her refrigerator.

994
00:43:55,790 --> 00:43:56,710
Yeah, exactly.

995
00:43:57,010 --> 00:43:58,470
So we just alternate off that.

996
00:43:58,470 --> 00:44:01,600
And it's just like we take
our son with us and quick tip.

997
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:03,820
If you go to like Whole Foods
or Trader Joe's, they give you

998
00:44:03,820 --> 00:44:05,280
a little stickers at Costco.

999
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:07,969
They'll give you, they draw a little
like happy face for your kids.

1000
00:44:07,969 --> 00:44:10,880
And if you have young kids,
it's like a great, they love it.

1001
00:44:10,939 --> 00:44:15,469
So there's shopping and look, you can
make delicious meals, even buying food

1002
00:44:15,469 --> 00:44:17,129
from Walmart, like Walmart and target.

1003
00:44:17,139 --> 00:44:19,239
They have all the same things
that those places have.

1004
00:44:19,259 --> 00:44:22,799
You can, might be spending, you know,
a little bit more money here and there,

1005
00:44:22,799 --> 00:44:26,770
but it's like, You know, Costco is
just a better value if you have the

1006
00:44:26,770 --> 00:44:28,920
space and then the cooking is the

1007
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:29,480
Adam Fishman: next part.

1008
00:44:29,530 --> 00:44:33,859
One of the things I'd love to talk
about within cooking is give me like

1009
00:44:33,860 --> 00:44:38,370
a week, maybe what you, what did you
cook, you know, a week ago or like

1010
00:44:38,500 --> 00:44:44,820
what, you know, what is a typical meal
plan and cook look like for a family?

1011
00:44:44,820 --> 00:44:48,470
Cause I want to put it
into concrete example.

1012
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:51,200
Cause you mentioned like
Cooking and then remixing.

1013
00:44:51,660 --> 00:44:51,880
David Haddad: Yeah.

1014
00:44:51,890 --> 00:44:55,570
Adam Fishman: And I'm really curious
to hear more about what that means and

1015
00:44:55,570 --> 00:44:57,180
kind of unpack that a little bit more.

1016
00:44:57,180 --> 00:45:00,189
So you could take us through
like a standard week in the Mr.

1017
00:45:00,190 --> 00:45:01,170
Branzino plan.

1018
00:45:01,940 --> 00:45:02,819
David Haddad: Yeah, a hundred percent.

1019
00:45:02,829 --> 00:45:06,970
So let's say last week I made some,
I call it like my everyday chicken

1020
00:45:07,379 --> 00:45:09,069
and I just use chicken thighs.

1021
00:45:09,479 --> 00:45:11,790
Probably not as healthy as
chicken breasts, but ties

1022
00:45:11,790 --> 00:45:13,170
are just hands down better.

1023
00:45:13,515 --> 00:45:14,165
I'll fight anyone.

1024
00:45:14,165 --> 00:45:14,755
It tastes better.

1025
00:45:14,985 --> 00:45:15,215
Yeah.

1026
00:45:15,215 --> 00:45:16,135
They taste way better.

1027
00:45:16,425 --> 00:45:17,515
Adam Fishman: I'll fight anyone on that.

1028
00:45:17,525 --> 00:45:17,975
I'll fight

1029
00:45:17,975 --> 00:45:18,735
David Haddad: anyone on that.

1030
00:45:18,855 --> 00:45:19,005
Yeah.

1031
00:45:19,005 --> 00:45:22,694
So I made some chicken, some
chicken thighs, and it's really

1032
00:45:22,725 --> 00:45:24,505
just being able to portion that out.

1033
00:45:24,505 --> 00:45:28,574
So like we're three, I do about
like a third of a pound per person.

1034
00:45:28,885 --> 00:45:32,999
So I'll make enough to last a tooth the
evening and you don't have to do just one.

1035
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,430
You know, one protein, you could do
two, whatever, but I'll make sure

1036
00:45:36,430 --> 00:45:39,510
that during the week, we'll have two
different kinds of protein, but I might

1037
00:45:39,510 --> 00:45:41,690
just do one for up to Tuesday night.

1038
00:45:41,969 --> 00:45:46,720
And then it's like two vegetables,
one carb could be like rice

1039
00:45:46,720 --> 00:45:48,570
or potatoes or whatever it is.

1040
00:45:48,580 --> 00:45:53,450
And then a sauce of sorts, like maybe
a dressing, depending on if we're

1041
00:45:53,450 --> 00:45:54,930
eating more salads or something.

1042
00:45:54,930 --> 00:45:58,000
And if like, I have a lot more
time, I'll do like a soup too.

1043
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:01,140
And so, you know, Last
Sunday I made like chicken.

1044
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:02,790
I made enough carb.

1045
00:46:02,810 --> 00:46:06,330
Like I made some actually rice
and like a za'atar potatoes.

1046
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,080
I made cauliflower and broccoli.

1047
00:46:09,270 --> 00:46:11,680
I made a yogurt cucumber sauce.

1048
00:46:11,710 --> 00:46:14,730
I made hummus and that was it.

1049
00:46:15,250 --> 00:46:16,189
That was Sunday dinner.

1050
00:46:16,260 --> 00:46:18,379
Monday, you know, I had some tomatoes.

1051
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:19,290
I had some.

1052
00:46:20,300 --> 00:46:21,220
Cucumbers.

1053
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,950
And I made a Greek salad with
some feta and olives and stuff.

1054
00:46:25,170 --> 00:46:27,550
And I added the chicken and
I added the potatoes to it.

1055
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:28,750
So it was like a complete meal.

1056
00:46:28,849 --> 00:46:29,469
It was great.

1057
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:31,349
Tuesday I made wraps.

1058
00:46:31,349 --> 00:46:34,980
So I just had some pita bread and I like
wrapped it up and I just took everything.

1059
00:46:35,129 --> 00:46:36,050
And we finished everything.

1060
00:46:36,060 --> 00:46:37,079
It was gone by Tuesday.

1061
00:46:37,079 --> 00:46:37,590
So it was done.

1062
00:46:38,060 --> 00:46:39,700
Wednesday was a one pot meal.

1063
00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:41,570
So I kind of did Mexican ish.

1064
00:46:41,860 --> 00:46:45,500
Like I had some cans of bean and
corn and stuff and made it with

1065
00:46:45,500 --> 00:46:51,280
like some ground Yeah, I just did
a one pot like kind of rice dish.

1066
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:55,700
It was like, yeah, it tasted like
enchiladas, but it was like rice and

1067
00:46:55,700 --> 00:46:57,610
meat and it was very, it was really good.

1068
00:46:57,750 --> 00:47:01,240
And then we read that again on
Thursday, added a salad to it.

1069
00:47:01,240 --> 00:47:03,850
So I had made like a little just
simple, like lemon juice, olive

1070
00:47:03,850 --> 00:47:05,940
oil dressing with the same meal.

1071
00:47:06,100 --> 00:47:07,450
So we use leftovers.

1072
00:47:07,450 --> 00:47:09,460
It's not like, I think this
is another thing I've noticed.

1073
00:47:09,470 --> 00:47:11,670
Families don't eat a lot
of leftovers, but like.

1074
00:47:11,900 --> 00:47:15,710
That's the only way to scale is like,
you can eat different things every day,

1075
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,990
but it's very difficult to do with the
time constraints and everyone's so busy.

1076
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:25,079
And then Friday we went out to
dinner and then Saturday we went

1077
00:47:25,079 --> 00:47:26,120
to someone's house for dinner.

1078
00:47:26,159 --> 00:47:27,869
So it was a little bit easy.

1079
00:47:27,869 --> 00:47:29,359
And then Sunday we did it again.

1080
00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:30,150
Started

1081
00:47:30,150 --> 00:47:30,729
Adam Fishman: it all over again.

1082
00:47:30,850 --> 00:47:35,090
So it sounds like in this typical week,
you know, you're kind of optimizing

1083
00:47:35,100 --> 00:47:39,010
for Sunday through Thursday, which gets
you through the majority of the week.

1084
00:47:39,269 --> 00:47:39,639
Yeah.

1085
00:47:39,710 --> 00:47:40,840
Low stress.

1086
00:47:41,180 --> 00:47:45,790
Remixing every night and then kind
of hitting the reset button midweek.

1087
00:47:46,310 --> 00:47:50,980
And then a couple other alternative
plans Friday, Saturday, which for

1088
00:47:50,980 --> 00:47:53,500
busy parents usually happens, right?

1089
00:47:53,500 --> 00:47:57,059
There's usually something going
on and then hit starting all

1090
00:47:57,059 --> 00:47:57,810
David Haddad: over again on Sunday.

1091
00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:58,200
Adam Fishman: It's

1092
00:47:58,210 --> 00:48:00,170
David Haddad: not rocket
science, but in practice, it's

1093
00:48:00,170 --> 00:48:01,820
actually really, really easy.

1094
00:48:01,870 --> 00:48:03,169
It takes really no time.

1095
00:48:03,169 --> 00:48:06,690
And it's a very like once you
get it down and you're like just

1096
00:48:06,690 --> 00:48:10,140
having that programming in place,
it allows you to like not think.

1097
00:48:10,140 --> 00:48:10,310
Okay.

1098
00:48:10,385 --> 00:48:13,085
And you're kind of just like go in
the kitchen, have that framework of

1099
00:48:13,085 --> 00:48:15,015
like, okay, today's like salad night.

1100
00:48:15,245 --> 00:48:17,815
I'm just going to put protein and
some little bit of carb and I'm

1101
00:48:17,815 --> 00:48:19,005
going to make like a salad bowl.

1102
00:48:19,205 --> 00:48:21,235
So you get your greens
in and all that stuff.

1103
00:48:21,235 --> 00:48:21,485
Adam Fishman: Love that.

1104
00:48:21,485 --> 00:48:22,095
David Haddad: I

1105
00:48:22,095 --> 00:48:26,184
Adam Fishman: love thinking about, I've
seen a couple of other people talk about

1106
00:48:26,775 --> 00:48:32,195
sort of thematic evenings, which is what
you're describing here, which is like.

1107
00:48:32,530 --> 00:48:35,810
Sunday is the official
portioned out dinner.

1108
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:40,340
Monday is, you know, salad day.

1109
00:48:40,660 --> 00:48:42,720
Tuesday is soup day.

1110
00:48:42,910 --> 00:48:45,300
Wednesday is one pot meal day.

1111
00:48:45,330 --> 00:48:48,749
Like it's really interesting to think
about that because then you're like, well,

1112
00:48:48,750 --> 00:48:50,590
that now I know how much I need to make.

1113
00:48:50,590 --> 00:48:54,540
I know I'm going to incorporate
like a diversity of vegetables and

1114
00:48:54,540 --> 00:48:56,160
carbs and protein and everything.

1115
00:48:56,390 --> 00:49:00,050
So I wanted to ask you if you're
a dad, that's just starting out.

1116
00:49:00,550 --> 00:49:04,080
You know, when you're not very inventive
in the kitchen, so I imagine you could

1117
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:10,740
look at a set of stuff and go, Oh, I
can whip something up with this, right?

1118
00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:11,660
Because you've been doing this a lot.

1119
00:49:11,660 --> 00:49:17,339
You said you've been cooking for, you
know, 20 plus years, but for the dads

1120
00:49:17,340 --> 00:49:22,230
who aren't all that creative in the
kitchen who can't just like look and have,

1121
00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:25,890
you know, like a beautiful mindset of
connections of ingredients and be like,

1122
00:49:26,070 --> 00:49:27,800
Aha, I have a meal now for three days.

1123
00:49:28,470 --> 00:49:38,230
Where should dads get inspiration around
recipes around like, just like how to,

1124
00:49:38,639 --> 00:49:42,150
you know, if you're somebody who needs
more of an instruction manual, which

1125
00:49:42,150 --> 00:49:44,490
has a, that's how I cook in the kitchen.

1126
00:49:44,490 --> 00:49:46,359
I need guidance.

1127
00:49:46,460 --> 00:49:49,150
I need a recipe unless it's
something I'd made a hundred times.

1128
00:49:49,150 --> 00:49:50,380
And then I'm like, cool.

1129
00:49:50,380 --> 00:49:52,270
I know generally how to do this.

1130
00:49:52,590 --> 00:49:53,640
What do you recommend?

1131
00:49:54,085 --> 00:49:56,785
David Haddad: I actually have a swipe
file of like all the different places

1132
00:49:56,785 --> 00:50:02,395
I get my inspiration from books, from
YouTube, from blog websites, like cooking

1133
00:50:02,445 --> 00:50:09,334
blogs, but I mean one hack I've used a
lot, which is Blue Apron has blueapron.

1134
00:50:09,335 --> 00:50:13,665
com slash cookbook and it's not really
well publicized, but it's a great app.

1135
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,050
Little hack because you
can find out all the

1136
00:50:16,170 --> 00:50:18,770
Adam Fishman: apron, the meal kit
company, the company that's going

1137
00:50:18,770 --> 00:50:22,240
to ship you pre portion things
that you can throw into a pot.

1138
00:50:22,260 --> 00:50:24,000
They also give away all their secrets.

1139
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:24,500
Apparently

1140
00:50:24,790 --> 00:50:26,989
David Haddad: they gave away all
their recipes for what they're

1141
00:50:26,989 --> 00:50:29,260
making because they, you know, if
you don't want to have the leaflet

1142
00:50:29,260 --> 00:50:31,750
with you, you can have the recipe
for what they're going to be cooking.

1143
00:50:31,889 --> 00:50:34,760
So I use that a lot because I care
about trying to eat as seasonal as

1144
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,580
possible, seasonally as possible.

1145
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:39,960
So they have a good job of like, you
know, saying, Oh, this is what we're

1146
00:50:39,980 --> 00:50:42,010
making that is seasonal or whatever it is.

1147
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:42,800
That's one place.

1148
00:50:42,819 --> 00:50:43,199
I love New York.

1149
00:50:43,460 --> 00:50:43,800
cooking.

1150
00:50:43,810 --> 00:50:44,460
newyorktimes.

1151
00:50:44,490 --> 00:50:44,990
com.

1152
00:50:45,310 --> 00:50:49,080
Like, I think if a dad was just
starting out, I think you may

1153
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:52,070
not get into the system of doing
this every single day just yet.

1154
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:56,260
I think just try make one meal
once a week or once a month.

1155
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,399
I think given the dynamics that
kind of exist in the world, the

1156
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:02,159
relationship dynamics, I think
if you just did once every week.

1157
00:51:03,070 --> 00:51:06,660
Week or months start with once a
month and then go to once a week.

1158
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:10,240
Try to do it on a Sunday and make
that your day to like make a meal.

1159
00:51:10,390 --> 00:51:11,590
Just go to like cooking.

1160
00:51:11,599 --> 00:51:12,359
newyorktimes.

1161
00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,650
com and find a recipe that you dig.

1162
00:51:14,690 --> 00:51:16,020
They have a good filters.

1163
00:51:16,050 --> 00:51:16,910
You could do a sheet pan meal.

1164
00:51:16,910 --> 00:51:17,979
You just do something.

1165
00:51:18,210 --> 00:51:19,350
I think just get started.

1166
00:51:19,389 --> 00:51:21,350
The trick with recipes is
that they're a framework.

1167
00:51:21,350 --> 00:51:21,879
They're a guide.

1168
00:51:21,910 --> 00:51:22,990
They're not the word of God.

1169
00:51:23,330 --> 00:51:25,110
So like you can do what you want.

1170
00:51:25,525 --> 00:51:29,025
Figure out what are the core essentials
of the meal, get to the essence of the

1171
00:51:29,025 --> 00:51:34,715
meal, read the recipe, go through, like,
find out what the, I have a chemistry

1172
00:51:34,715 --> 00:51:37,734
background, so this is like, I call
it the rate limiting step, so it's

1173
00:51:37,734 --> 00:51:41,754
like, what is the step that's going to
prevent you from like, from the chemical

1174
00:51:41,755 --> 00:51:45,065
reaction from happening, but in, in
the cooking world, it's like the things

1175
00:51:45,065 --> 00:51:47,765
that are going to prevent you from,
they're going to slow you down, so it's

1176
00:51:47,765 --> 00:51:50,975
just like reading through the recipe
one time, glance it over, but then be

1177
00:51:50,975 --> 00:51:52,860
like, okay, it says, Preheat the oven.

1178
00:51:53,310 --> 00:51:54,750
This is where people get freaked out.

1179
00:51:54,750 --> 00:51:56,990
And this is what I've heard in
a lot with a lot of guys is that

1180
00:51:56,990 --> 00:51:59,430
they like, don't read the recipe.

1181
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:01,909
And then they're like, wait a
minute, I'm supposed to turn this on.

1182
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:04,649
Like I'm supposed to boil the water
and then they forget to boil the water.

1183
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:10,019
So just the, a lot of the big steps, like
preheat the oven, boil the water, just

1184
00:52:10,020 --> 00:52:14,000
get that stuff started first, because
then it's a lot easier to like get your

1185
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:18,350
flow with what you're, so I would just
say, start there, watch YouTube videos.

1186
00:52:18,380 --> 00:52:21,455
If you like any of that, there's
a few People that I love, I

1187
00:52:21,455 --> 00:52:23,345
love chef John from food wishes.

1188
00:52:23,535 --> 00:52:24,275
He's the best.

1189
00:52:24,275 --> 00:52:26,075
He's like, makes tons of dad jokes.

1190
00:52:26,375 --> 00:52:26,825
He's great.

1191
00:52:26,825 --> 00:52:29,265
Oh, you know, we love a good
dad joke around startup dad.

1192
00:52:30,425 --> 00:52:30,915
There we go.

1193
00:52:31,485 --> 00:52:31,835
Adam Fishman: Yeah,

1194
00:52:31,915 --> 00:52:32,924
David Haddad: there's a
ton of them down there.

1195
00:52:32,924 --> 00:52:34,034
And I have a swipe file

1196
00:52:34,105 --> 00:52:35,464
Adam Fishman: I can share with folks too.

1197
00:52:35,885 --> 00:52:38,165
Oh, maybe we could link
to that in the show notes.

1198
00:52:38,204 --> 00:52:39,075
That would be interesting.

1199
00:52:39,395 --> 00:52:40,065
Well, I love that.

1200
00:52:40,065 --> 00:52:42,765
And it sounds like underlying
all of this is like.

1201
00:52:43,310 --> 00:52:45,680
Just get started.

1202
00:52:46,050 --> 00:52:47,780
Try and set the ego aside.

1203
00:52:47,790 --> 00:52:51,680
Realize you might burn the potatoes,
or the chicken, or something might not

1204
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,429
taste as great as you'd like it to.

1205
00:52:54,469 --> 00:52:56,450
But just, try once.

1206
00:52:56,829 --> 00:52:58,280
Then try a second time.

1207
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:01,189
And like, you know, I think
back to the movie Mrs.

1208
00:53:01,189 --> 00:53:02,819
Doubtfire, when he's
trying to get a girlfriend.

1209
00:53:03,110 --> 00:53:06,890
He's trying to cook and he like tries
to do lobster and he sets himself on

1210
00:53:06,900 --> 00:53:11,080
fire and that's right and he ends up
ordering food, but then like he starts

1211
00:53:11,090 --> 00:53:16,090
watching videos and like over time, you
know, with a little bit of practice, he

1212
00:53:16,090 --> 00:53:17,790
gets better and better and better at it.

1213
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:21,749
And so it doesn't involve ordering, you
know, lobster out or anything like that.

1214
00:53:21,759 --> 00:53:24,049
So, but yeah, it sounds like
that's the underlying advice.

1215
00:53:24,049 --> 00:53:26,669
Like, just get started, use a system.

1216
00:53:27,035 --> 00:53:28,865
You know, start with one time a month.

1217
00:53:28,925 --> 00:53:30,185
Love that idea.

1218
00:53:30,535 --> 00:53:31,445
One time a month.

1219
00:53:31,845 --> 00:53:35,704
Think about how you might make leftovers,
then you get, then that one time a

1220
00:53:35,704 --> 00:53:37,375
month turns into a couple of meals.

1221
00:53:37,805 --> 00:53:40,074
And then that one time a week
turns into a couple of meals.

1222
00:53:40,074 --> 00:53:43,124
And the next thing you know, you're
cooking like half the meals in the

1223
00:53:43,125 --> 00:53:46,114
month just by, you know, cooking
three or four times a month.

1224
00:53:46,114 --> 00:53:46,414
So

1225
00:53:46,545 --> 00:53:47,615
David Haddad: that's 100 percent right.

1226
00:53:47,615 --> 00:53:52,125
I wouldn't overburden yourself with
like Getting into the system right away.

1227
00:53:52,125 --> 00:53:54,565
But I think it's just like,
start doing something.

1228
00:53:54,575 --> 00:53:55,435
You're going to mess up.

1229
00:53:55,435 --> 00:53:56,185
You're going to screw up.

1230
00:53:56,915 --> 00:53:57,505
That's okay.

1231
00:53:58,255 --> 00:53:59,955
Just eat your failure and
it's going to be great.

1232
00:54:00,094 --> 00:54:03,595
Adam Fishman: Tell me about a
disastrous recipe that you made.

1233
00:54:03,605 --> 00:54:09,295
What is something that just turned
out inedible or terrible or whatever?

1234
00:54:09,295 --> 00:54:11,995
Let's we're big on failure
stories here on startup dad.

1235
00:54:11,995 --> 00:54:16,175
So I'd love to hear about one of your
like most epic cooking failure stories.

1236
00:54:16,495 --> 00:54:17,165
David Haddad: Oh my God.

1237
00:54:17,365 --> 00:54:19,275
When I was at Berkeley.

1238
00:54:19,570 --> 00:54:21,040
There was a wine club.

1239
00:54:22,225 --> 00:54:25,325
And there was a guy who made
this like amazing thing.

1240
00:54:25,325 --> 00:54:28,025
He did like green grapes with like onions.

1241
00:54:28,025 --> 00:54:29,985
He sauteed the grapes with the onions.

1242
00:54:30,005 --> 00:54:30,954
It was really nice.

1243
00:54:31,034 --> 00:54:34,895
He put like herbs and then he had
some like brie cheese that he put.

1244
00:54:34,895 --> 00:54:37,495
And it was like, you just kind
of take a, you know, thing of

1245
00:54:37,514 --> 00:54:39,704
baguettes and you, you scoop it out.

1246
00:54:39,704 --> 00:54:41,325
I was like, Oh, I'm going to
make this for some friends.

1247
00:54:43,365 --> 00:54:43,985
Oh my God.

1248
00:54:44,015 --> 00:54:45,395
It was so bad.

1249
00:54:45,515 --> 00:54:48,185
It was like I put the
brie too early in the pan.

1250
00:54:48,205 --> 00:54:49,885
It melted all over the pan.

1251
00:54:50,135 --> 00:54:53,375
And then it was just like, it was so bad.

1252
00:54:53,394 --> 00:54:56,505
And everyone was like saying like,
dude, this is like, we're just beat.

1253
00:54:56,514 --> 00:54:58,015
Like, they like, Hmm.

1254
00:54:58,955 --> 00:54:59,095
Yes.

1255
00:55:00,014 --> 00:55:01,175
And they're like, one guy.

1256
00:55:01,225 --> 00:55:02,155
I mean, I would love him.

1257
00:55:02,415 --> 00:55:04,445
He, you know, he's like a brother to me.

1258
00:55:04,445 --> 00:55:05,425
He's like, bro, this.

1259
00:55:05,985 --> 00:55:06,525
Sucks.

1260
00:55:06,555 --> 00:55:07,725
This is really bad.

1261
00:55:08,065 --> 00:55:10,195
I was like, okay, thank you.

1262
00:55:10,255 --> 00:55:13,185
So I kind of tried to like
freestyle something I've never made

1263
00:55:13,185 --> 00:55:14,345
before in front of other people.

1264
00:55:14,345 --> 00:55:17,145
So don't freestyle with your friends
if you've never made something.

1265
00:55:17,145 --> 00:55:19,195
So that was a really bad meal that I made.

1266
00:55:19,505 --> 00:55:20,905
Adam Fishman: Did you
ever redeem yourself?

1267
00:55:20,935 --> 00:55:23,184
Did you ever remake that
recipe and do it better?

1268
00:55:24,475 --> 00:55:26,175
David Haddad: To be
honest, I'm still haunted.

1269
00:55:26,185 --> 00:55:27,305
I've never remade it.

1270
00:55:27,355 --> 00:55:28,895
I I've honestly never remade it.

1271
00:55:28,905 --> 00:55:29,695
That's okay.

1272
00:55:29,745 --> 00:55:30,615
You know,

1273
00:55:30,695 --> 00:55:33,305
Adam Fishman: you know, you, you
maybe someday, maybe for your

1274
00:55:33,305 --> 00:55:33,955
David Haddad: anniversary

1275
00:55:33,955 --> 00:55:34,815
Adam Fishman: with your wife.

1276
00:55:35,105 --> 00:55:35,514
David Haddad: That's right.

1277
00:55:35,525 --> 00:55:36,364
Maybe I will do that.

1278
00:55:36,364 --> 00:55:37,364
That's a funny, yeah.

1279
00:55:37,364 --> 00:55:37,765
Why not?

1280
00:55:37,805 --> 00:55:38,925
Let me, let me try that over.

1281
00:55:39,024 --> 00:55:40,244
Adam Fishman: Overcome your fears.

1282
00:55:40,324 --> 00:55:40,624
David Haddad: Yeah.

1283
00:55:40,625 --> 00:55:41,135
Okay.

1284
00:55:41,525 --> 00:55:43,494
Adam Fishman: Well, last question for you.

1285
00:55:43,565 --> 00:55:46,445
How can people follow
along or be helpful to you?

1286
00:55:46,445 --> 00:55:47,735
You're obviously trying to build this.

1287
00:55:48,130 --> 00:55:49,210
Company, this brand.

1288
00:55:49,210 --> 00:55:51,000
So what's a good way for
people to get involved?

1289
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:52,700
David Haddad: Yeah,
just go to my sub stack.

1290
00:55:52,700 --> 00:55:52,940
Mr.

1291
00:55:52,940 --> 00:55:53,880
Benzino dot sub stack.

1292
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:54,800
com.

1293
00:55:54,870 --> 00:55:56,709
Check out, just sign
up for the newsletter.

1294
00:55:56,709 --> 00:55:58,640
You can kind of follow
along the journey there.

1295
00:55:58,660 --> 00:56:00,200
I have like a course.

1296
00:56:00,590 --> 00:56:03,619
It's like, you know, become
a meal machine in seven days.

1297
00:56:03,629 --> 00:56:04,330
So you can kind of like.

1298
00:56:04,625 --> 00:56:05,305
Follow along.

1299
00:56:05,305 --> 00:56:08,385
I have more details, like the
entire operating system, how to do

1300
00:56:08,385 --> 00:56:11,835
it with instructions and recipes,
and you can kind of get started.

1301
00:56:11,915 --> 00:56:13,864
And then I also have a dad cook community.

1302
00:56:13,864 --> 00:56:16,255
If people are interested
called the dad cook crew.

1303
00:56:16,315 --> 00:56:19,694
If you want to like be part of like a
community of guys that are like trying

1304
00:56:19,694 --> 00:56:23,974
to like change and make their lives,
bring less stress to their relationships.

1305
00:56:23,974 --> 00:56:25,065
And you know, yeah.

1306
00:56:25,590 --> 00:56:27,020
Teach your kids to eat for life.

1307
00:56:27,060 --> 00:56:29,120
You know, this is like, you know,
what we're building as well.

1308
00:56:29,150 --> 00:56:30,940
But yeah, just sign up for the newsletter.

1309
00:56:31,170 --> 00:56:31,650
Awesome.

1310
00:56:31,680 --> 00:56:32,060
We will

1311
00:56:32,060 --> 00:56:34,890
Adam Fishman: direct everyone
there in the show notes.

1312
00:56:34,940 --> 00:56:38,480
And David, thank you so much for
being on and for talking about Mr.

1313
00:56:38,480 --> 00:56:40,930
Branzino and teaching me
something about how to cook.

1314
00:56:40,930 --> 00:56:43,300
I love the Pisces system.

1315
00:56:43,350 --> 00:56:45,430
I'm going to give that one a
second thought for my household.

1316
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:49,400
So do you have a few minutes
for our rapid fire round?

1317
00:56:49,580 --> 00:56:50,060
Let's do it.

1318
00:56:50,060 --> 00:56:50,320
Yeah.

1319
00:56:50,390 --> 00:56:51,030
Okay.

1320
00:56:51,250 --> 00:56:55,830
What is the most indispensable parenting
product that you have ever purchased?

1321
00:56:56,270 --> 00:56:56,690
Nanit.

1322
00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:58,130
The Nanit camera.

1323
00:56:58,520 --> 00:56:59,090
Okay.

1324
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:03,100
What is the most useless parenting
product that you have ever purchased?

1325
00:57:04,570 --> 00:57:07,150
David Haddad: We got a warmer
for some wipe thing and that

1326
00:57:07,150 --> 00:57:08,970
was completely effing useless.

1327
00:57:09,009 --> 00:57:09,389
Yeah.

1328
00:57:09,509 --> 00:57:10,280
That did nothing.

1329
00:57:10,660 --> 00:57:10,890
Yeah.

1330
00:57:10,910 --> 00:57:11,280
Yeah.

1331
00:57:11,679 --> 00:57:13,320
Adam Fishman: What is the most
frustrating thing that has

1332
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:14,590
ever happened to you as a dad?

1333
00:57:15,350 --> 00:57:19,890
David Haddad: Yeah, just like my
son stopping dead, you know, dead

1334
00:57:19,890 --> 00:57:22,510
stopping in the middle of the street
when he like doesn't want to do

1335
00:57:22,510 --> 00:57:24,050
something and we're trying to move.

1336
00:57:24,059 --> 00:57:27,709
That's super frustrating, but yeah,
that's been the biggest frustrating thing.

1337
00:57:27,719 --> 00:57:29,199
I'm sure every dad's dealt with that.

1338
00:57:29,309 --> 00:57:29,579
Yeah,

1339
00:57:29,790 --> 00:57:32,329
Adam Fishman: that is a new one or
at least one that hasn't been shared,

1340
00:57:32,489 --> 00:57:33,589
but every dad's dealt with that.

1341
00:57:33,659 --> 00:57:33,979
Yeah.

1342
00:57:34,430 --> 00:57:38,260
What is the most difficult kids TV show
that you've ever had to sit through?

1343
00:57:38,910 --> 00:57:39,680
David Haddad: Cocoa Melon.

1344
00:57:40,180 --> 00:57:40,840
Adam Fishman: Oh, yeah.

1345
00:57:41,215 --> 00:57:41,925
Yes.

1346
00:57:42,255 --> 00:57:42,685
David Haddad: Horrible.

1347
00:57:42,925 --> 00:57:43,205
Adam Fishman: Horrible

1348
00:57:43,205 --> 00:57:43,625
David Haddad: TV.

1349
00:57:44,475 --> 00:57:45,605
Adam Fishman: Horrible television.

1350
00:57:46,335 --> 00:57:50,084
Have you ever used your son as an
excuse to get out of a social event?

1351
00:57:50,685 --> 00:57:51,225
All the time.

1352
00:57:52,534 --> 00:57:56,584
David Haddad: I used it, used him,
not even used him to like go use

1353
00:57:56,585 --> 00:57:59,765
the bathroom at a private restaurant
because I said he has to use the

1354
00:57:59,765 --> 00:58:02,174
bathroom and you know, I had to use it.

1355
00:58:02,555 --> 00:58:03,065
That was it.

1356
00:58:03,075 --> 00:58:05,175
So, but yeah, no, it's, I have used it.

1357
00:58:05,465 --> 00:58:05,715
Yes.

1358
00:58:05,725 --> 00:58:06,525
To get out of things.

1359
00:58:06,635 --> 00:58:06,805
Adam Fishman: Yeah.

1360
00:58:06,835 --> 00:58:08,115
Love that parenting hack.

1361
00:58:08,145 --> 00:58:10,975
Blame your kid if you need to use
the restroom at like a private place.

1362
00:58:11,005 --> 00:58:11,385
That's a good one.

1363
00:58:11,385 --> 00:58:11,885
Exactly.

1364
00:58:11,885 --> 00:58:11,904
Exactly.

1365
00:58:12,185 --> 00:58:14,925
What is your favorite kids movie?

1366
00:58:16,255 --> 00:58:16,835
Coco.

1367
00:58:17,585 --> 00:58:18,105
Coco.

1368
00:58:18,365 --> 00:58:19,295
Worst TV show?

1369
00:58:19,295 --> 00:58:20,085
Coco Melon.

1370
00:58:20,085 --> 00:58:20,855
Favorite movie?

1371
00:58:20,855 --> 00:58:21,345
Coco.

1372
00:58:21,395 --> 00:58:22,195
Those are polar opposites.

1373
00:58:22,365 --> 00:58:22,645
That's right.

1374
00:58:22,655 --> 00:58:22,895
Yeah.

1375
00:58:22,895 --> 00:58:23,164
Polar

1376
00:58:23,164 --> 00:58:23,584
David Haddad: opposites.

1377
00:58:23,595 --> 00:58:24,505
Not the same thing.

1378
00:58:24,505 --> 00:58:26,045
Adam Fishman: Not the same thing.

1379
00:58:26,385 --> 00:58:29,175
What is the worst experience
you've ever had assembling a

1380
00:58:29,185 --> 00:58:31,624
kid's toy or a piece of furniture?

1381
00:58:32,115 --> 00:58:34,984
David Haddad: I was trying to make
my son his little like strider bike.

1382
00:58:35,425 --> 00:58:38,655
thing this weekend and he kept taking
the tools away and running away

1383
00:58:38,655 --> 00:58:39,945
and going outside with the tools.

1384
00:58:39,955 --> 00:58:42,765
So it just took way longer than it
should have, but yeah, that was super

1385
00:58:42,765 --> 00:58:46,449
frustrating, but also, you know, also
super cute that he was trying to.

1386
00:58:46,740 --> 00:58:48,560
Play with it, play around, but yeah.

1387
00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:52,550
Adam Fishman: Alright, because you
are big on cooking, how long can a

1388
00:58:52,550 --> 00:58:56,590
piece of food sit on the floor in
your house and you will still eat it?

1389
00:58:57,620 --> 00:58:59,770
I'm still pretty tried and
true with the 5 second rule.

1390
00:58:59,830 --> 00:59:01,710
Like, I'll still do the
5 second rule, yeah.

1391
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:03,500
5 second rule it is.

1392
00:59:04,049 --> 00:59:11,140
What nostalgic movie can you not
wait to force your son to watch?

1393
00:59:12,530 --> 00:59:13,340
Dumb and Dumber.

1394
00:59:13,865 --> 00:59:15,765
Oh, that's a good one.

1395
00:59:15,955 --> 00:59:16,375
Yeah.

1396
00:59:16,795 --> 00:59:17,315
Big gulp sound.

1397
00:59:18,655 --> 00:59:19,505
Big gulp sound.

1398
00:59:19,515 --> 00:59:20,445
Well, see you later.

1399
00:59:20,775 --> 00:59:26,305
Uh, and finally, what is
your take on minivans?

1400
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:29,040
David Haddad: I'm all about it.

1401
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:33,050
I'm all about him, especially if
they're like, you know, champagne.

1402
00:59:33,170 --> 00:59:34,000
That's a yeah.

1403
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:34,480
Why not?

1404
00:59:35,010 --> 00:59:39,860
So yeah, you know, a baller drink, you
know, so yeah, I don't not champagne,

1405
00:59:39,870 --> 00:59:41,270
but yeah, definitely am all about him.

1406
00:59:41,630 --> 00:59:43,230
Wife is not, but I am.

1407
00:59:43,270 --> 00:59:43,550
Yeah.

1408
00:59:43,630 --> 00:59:44,040
Okay.

1409
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:45,490
Adam Fishman: We have some
conflict here in the marriage.

1410
00:59:45,490 --> 00:59:45,900
Yes.

1411
00:59:45,940 --> 00:59:47,200
Well, that's okay about it.

1412
00:59:47,210 --> 00:59:47,450
Yeah.

1413
00:59:47,470 --> 00:59:47,740
Yeah.

1414
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,830
That's a joke, we're not doing that.

1415
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,210
Not about the minivan at least.

1416
00:59:52,210 --> 00:59:54,670
David Haddad, aka Mr.

1417
00:59:54,670 --> 00:59:55,560
Branzino.

1418
00:59:55,890 --> 01:00:00,610
Thank you so much for taking the
time to join me today on Startup Dad.

1419
01:00:00,610 --> 01:00:05,070
This was a fantastic discussion and
hopefully helps a lot of dads get

1420
01:00:05,070 --> 01:00:08,580
a little bit more comfortable in
the kitchen and just get started.

1421
01:00:08,890 --> 01:00:09,706
David Haddad: Appreciate the time.

1422
01:00:09,706 --> 01:00:10,384
Just do it.

1423
01:00:10,384 --> 01:00:10,960
Yeah, thank you.

1424
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:11,510
Thanks for having me.

1425
01:00:11,510 --> 01:00:12,170
This was awesome.

1426
01:00:13,620 --> 01:00:17,120
Adam Fishman: Thank you for listening to
today's conversation with David Haddad.

1427
01:00:17,380 --> 01:00:18,580
AKA Mr.

1428
01:00:18,590 --> 01:00:19,180
Branzino.

1429
01:00:19,660 --> 01:00:22,540
If you enjoyed the show, please
subscribe, share, and leave me

1430
01:00:22,540 --> 01:00:24,800
a review on Apple or Spotify.

1431
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:27,120
It'll help other people find this podcast.

1432
01:00:27,640 --> 01:00:31,990
Startup Dad is a Fishman AF production
with editing support from Tommy Heron.

1433
01:00:32,490 --> 01:00:37,020
You can join a community of over 10,
000 subscribers and stay up to date

1434
01:00:37,070 --> 01:00:41,310
on my thoughts on growth, product,
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1435
01:00:41,310 --> 01:00:44,240
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1436
01:00:44,290 --> 01:00:44,710
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1437
01:00:45,790 --> 01:00:45,820
com.

1438
01:00:46,475 --> 01:00:48,335
AF newsletter.com.

1439
01:00:48,825 --> 01:00:49,755
Thanks for listening.

1440
01:00:50,055 --> 01:00:50,690
See you next week.