June 9, 2022

Protecting Your Boundaries and Standing in Your Truth with TV Host Elizabeth Ries

Protecting Your Boundaries and Standing in Your Truth with TV Host Elizabeth Ries

Today in the booth is TV Host and all-around badass, Elizabeth Ries! I’ve had the privilege of sharing the microphone with her before on live TV, but today we got to kick it via audio. Elizabeth is the host of Twin Cities Live and is a breath of fresh air (which I feel like we all could use in our lives). She shared so much wisdom in this episode about confidence, going after what you want, staying true to yourself, and setting (and maintaining) boundaries. We laughed, we cried, and we talked about how to up your pancake game with some blueberry compote. This conversation feels like a hug, and it will leave you wanting to chase down your dreams while also being kind and curious to everyone you meet along the way.

 

About the Guest: 

Elizabeth Ries is a television and radio personality in the Twin Cities. She co-hosts Twin Cities Live weekdays afternoons from 3-4:30 on KSTP.. She also co-hosts a podcast called Best to the Nest focused on making our homes happy, healthy sanctuaries where we are at our best. She grew up in Apple Valley but now lives in Minneapolis with her husband Jay, daughter Bernadette and sons Franklin & Heathcliff. They also share their home with a German Shorthair Pointer named Gracie Lu and a flock of chickens in the backyard. Elizabeth is passionate about cooking with as much home grown produce as possible and wants to add a hive of bees to her yard next!

 

Connect and learn more:

@elizries on IG

https://hometohomestead.com/

https://www.besttothenest.com/

https://www.twincitieslive.com/

About the Host: 

Friends! Here's a somewhat stuffy bio of me:  

I am an author, professional speaker, coach, host, and entrepreneur. My first book, Leading Imperfectly: The value of being authentic for leaders, professionals, and human beings, is available wherever people buy books. I speak internationally to willing and unwilling attendees about authenticity, vulnerability, and leadership. My clients include American Express, General Electric (GE), Accenture, Yale University, The Ohio State University, and many others. As a speaker, I am doing the two things I loves the most: making people think and making people laugh! 

I host my own events multiple times a year. They are 2-day events called Living Imperfectly Live (and sometimes they are 1-day virtual events). They are a space where humans from every walk of life can come together to be part of a community on the pursuit of badassery. The goal is to help attendees start living the life we say we want to live.

Alas, you're here because of an idea I had a number of years ago and didn't think I was good enough to pull it off. I finally acted on it and alas Diner Talks with James was born! As you can see from what I do in my professional life, Diner Talks is alligned with everything I believe in and teach.  If this wasn't dry enough, and you would like to know more info about my speaking, events, or coaching feel free to check out my website: JamesTRobo.com.

Let’s Be Friends on Social Media!

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamestrobo

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jamestrobo

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamesrobilotta/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/JamesRobilottaCSP

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/JamesTRobo


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Transcript
James Robilotta:

Welcome to diner talks with James. slide into the booth and let's have conversations we never want to end with friends. We never want to leave over food we probably shouldn't be eating

James Robilotta:

my friends welcome to another episode of diner talks with James. I'm James and I'm pumped to be here We out here in the diner, y'all. You know, I've had some New Yorkers on the show before I've had some people from Jersey, I don't talk about them, but of individuals that are surrounded by great diners of the world. But today I have a guest from the Twin Cities and the Twin Cities really has one diner. There's a few actually it's actually a couple of good diners here. I shouldn't say that. But there's one famous one Mickey's it was in the Mighty Ducks, potentially you remember that? But we're not going to talk about that a little bit. We're going to talk about other stuff because she is someone who I'm trying to be friends with and it's working, which is pretty awesome because she is an incredible friend in progress. And Elizabeth Reise, I gotta tell you about her because she and I have had the opportunity to share the microphone before but this is the first time we're only doing an audio version. Elizabeth Reese is a television and radio personality in the Twin Cities. She co hosts Twin Cities Live weekdays afternoons, from three two o'clock to 430 I'm que es TP if you're in the Twin Cities area. If you're not those letters don't mean anything to you. She also co hosts a podcast called Best to the nest focused on making our homes happy, healthy sanctuaries where we are at our best she grew up in Apple Valley, Minnesota, but now lives in Minneapolis with her husband Jay daughter, Bernadette sons Franklin and Heathcliff. Listen, y'all, I want you to compare your family names to their family names, because you can't they crushed the naming department and I want to hear about why they chose these names. They also share their home with a German Shorthaired Pointer named Gracie Liu and a flock of chickens because why not have a menagerie? Elizabeth Reise is an incredible woman and a badass and I'm excited for you to hang out with us in the diner. So slide into the booth and clap it out for Elizabeth Reese. What do

Elizabeth Ries:

hi friend how are you are reordering pancakes, eggs, milkshakes, all of the above I have the best memories of going to Mickey's diner with my dad as a kid he used to haul us all in the car and he'd be like we're leaving the suburbs we're going into the city we're gonna go get Mickey's diner and we just went there like a year ago to with my kids and they loved it

James Robilotta:

it's a great time Mickey's I know the old the the original one was closed down the one that's like in the railcar. It was closed down for a while because of COVID reasons I'm sure but I think it's back open it

Elizabeth Ries:

is yeah, yes. It is just passed by it recently. Just the other day actually.

James Robilotta:

Love it. That's awesome. What is what is your if we were late at night in a diner? Yeah. What is your late night guilty pleasure order.

Elizabeth Ries:

Oh my gosh, it would have to be like something sweet and salty for sure. A milkshake. I like I love a milkshake. I just had one. I shared one with my daughter last weekend. I hadn't had one in a long time. And I'm like, Man, this is great. And then I like multiple plates. So like I want to be with someone who wants to share with me, I don't want to be with someone who's protective over their own plate and wants to order their own thing and is like super picky about stuff. I want to be with people who are like, let's order five different plates of things and all share it and have all the bytes. So I hope that you're you'd be on board with that. Because otherwise I don't know how far our friendship is gonna go. Yeah,

James Robilotta:

that's yeah, this is an important test. This is an important No, let's let's let's get let's get to the real meat of it then because if we're going to share some plates, and I'm down to share good. I'm particular about the setup of a few things. How do you eat your pancakes?

Elizabeth Ries:

Okay, well, I always like to order a table pancake whenever I'm out. If I was like late MONTH or late night or brunch a table pancake is appropriate because nobody wants to commit to pancakes for their entire meal because then you're just going to take a nap like 30 minutes later and and I gotta have some savory in there. So I like a table pancake. I definitely want lots of butter. Like I want more butter to syrup ratio. And I do I'm kind of a snoot about like legit real maple syrup. And I think this comes from my dad who my dad always loved real maple syrup. I mean he's still with us. He still loves it but he has not passed on yet. He He loves that and I am like that too like the smell of fake syrup. gags me so that Mickey's I don't think they have real maple syrup. So I'm gonna have to like smuggle in a glass bottle of

James Robilotta:

smuggled in with one of those leaf shaped bottles.

Elizabeth Ries:

I love those. I love it when it's in a leaf shapes great

James Robilotta:

squeezed straight out of the squeezed the state of Vermont into a leaf.

Elizabeth Ries:

That's it. I know. Some day I would love to have land and I would love to like tap maple trees. You know, we do like some urban farming in our Minneapolis yard. But there's always like a draw to the country for me. So I don't know. We'll see if we get there someday. But it's hard. You can't want to restaurants that's hard to know. Yeah.

James Robilotta:

Right. It's a tough balance. That's a struggle. Yeah, I agree with you. I agree with you. I respect that. You put a lot of butter on it. I'm also I do a lot of butter and a lot of syrup. Yeah. Which is where Tina and I sometimes differ. Sometimes she's like, can you just like cut it in half and give me the dryer half?

Elizabeth Ries:

fair? That's fair. I do like some sort of compote. You know if there's like a blueberry compote. I'm down with that, too.

James Robilotta:

Yeah, I forgot to read that in your bio actually have extensive a whole paragraph about compost.

Elizabeth Ries:

Compost of any kind she'll take.

James Robilotta:

That's it. That's it. That's on the tombstone. compostable with compost.

Elizabeth Ries:

That's true. I do love compost and compost equally. That is wonderful.

James Robilotta:

There you go. Big fan. Big fan. I love that. I love that now, you know you have you have this beautiful life that you have created for yourself here in the Twin Cities. And we're gonna get to that but I want to take it back to the Apple Valley, Elizabeth Reese days, I want all the way back. Even even past the days of the blonde Bob, we're going past those days. We're taking it all the way back. What? What was Elizabeth Reese? Like, as a young girl? Oh, gosh.

Elizabeth Ries:

That's a good question. I think probably, I was always very driven. I was always very, like, interested in things and people around me. And I always loved reading and speaking. I mean, like, I remember really loving reading out loud in a classroom. And this is going to be like, showing my not so great side was I would get frustrated with kids in class who couldn't read as well out loud, you know? And I'd be like, Why is this person reading? Which that's, that's not? I needed to do some self growth there. And I have, you know, James, we weren't all perfect right out of the womb. Well, maybe we were and then we regress and then we get back. Yeah. But I think I've always been very social. And I think probably my, like, teachers and family would have described me as sort of a born leader. Like I just, I like being around people. And I and I like, I think I kind of naturally maybe attract them to to just, I don't know, go to the next step. Do something and I'm the oldest, you know, to our sister. So you look like bossiness born into you. Yeah, are always like, come on, here's what we're doing. Let's go. Let's go. You're like a little mother hen.

James Robilotta:

The Pied Piper of people. That's amazing. The being the being the oldest? Was that something that? Did you ever feel pressure around that or maybe it maybe you still do to this day of feeling pressure around what it meant to set the example, if I'm oldest, oldest children go one of two ways either turn blatantly of responsibility and duty, and often a lot of pressure, which which way to go,

Elizabeth Ries:

I don't think I don't think I took on the pressure. I actually think I went a third route, which I was sort of, like uncertain, I was very well aware that I didn't have any path paved for me ahead of time, and my parents didn't grow up in the Twin Cities. So my dad is from a small town outside of Milwaukee. And my mom grew up in Fort Worth, Texas, and they moved here. Right after they got married. My dad was a Lutheran minister when I was growing up. So that's a whole nother level of analysis of what that does to you as a child and adult that I'm happy to get into at any time. But so when my my dad, my parents got married, and my mom tells this story that they they had to be in this like big ceremony when my dad graduated from the seminary. And this was familiar to my mom because my my both of my parents come from a long line of Lutheran ministers. So this is this is like very familiar to her. So she is in this room and they had just gotten married and they're getting their like call assignments of where they're gonna go. And my mom says that she was repeating to herself anywhere but Minnesota anywhere but Minnesota anywhere but Minnesota. And so you know what God does with that? He's gonna say Get it girl, let's go we're going to Minnesota. That's terrific. You know, you don't even need a you need a little challenge. So they got a call to go to a tiny church in St. Francis, Minnesota, which now I mean, that's still considered out there but then it was considered like way out there, because I mean, you know, 1980 cars probably didn't even go faster than 30 miles an hour. So took me a long time to get there. So, um, so they came to Minnesota, so I. So I remember, you know, you're a Minnesota transplant, like you know that making friends here can be a challenge and kind of fight figuring out. And I think it can also be a challenge when you have really little kids because everyone's like, busy, you know, your little kids, you're like, hey, sweet, you want to get together, I have time between five and six before someone's going to sleep, and someone's probably going to be crying. And it might be one of the adults like, I don't know. So it's, it's like a challenging time. And so my parents moved here, and then you add in the funny layer of being a religious leader. And it's very difficult to make friends because, and especially back then it was like, nobody wanted to be friends with your pastor, you're gonna go have a beer with your pastor. I mean, now it like these mega churches, people totally do that. And you're much more considered like a holistic person, which I think is a wonderful evolution of churches in general. But back then it was like you were a totally separate being. And so my parents didn't have a lot of friends. We had a good church community, but there was still like a solid separation between us and the rest of the members, because it was just like this downward dynamic,

James Robilotta:

almost Sure. Sure.

Elizabeth Ries:

Yeah, that's kind of how it happened. And then and then I was the oldest, and we moved to Apple Valley. When I was in first grade, I went to a really small Lutheran School in St. Paul, when I was in kindergarten. My teacher was Mrs. clappy. She's amazing. I keep in touch with her. I see her regularly. She's fabulous.

James Robilotta:

She's a big listener here.

Elizabeth Ries:

She's wonderful. I'm sure she has. And, and then I went to, you know, a new elementary school I'd never been to, and I just didn't have anyone paving the way. So I remember feeling, like, insecure about being like naive, and not knowing anyone and not having them know who I was, you know, that's just you. When you're friends with older siblings. It's like, oh, yeah, this teacher knows you. Because they had your sibling when you're the oldest. There's just this constant trying to figure out like, okay, okay, I guess I gotta be the one to pave the way and that. I mean, that was probably the most, like, anxiety inducing part of my childhood. I think that I remember.

James Robilotta:

Was that pressure to impress? Was it a pressure to? Like, what, what was that?

Elizabeth Ries:

It was just a pressure to figure out what was going on, you know, and just figure out how to get it. Yeah. And you didn't have anybody laying the groundwork. You didn't have like, oh, I went to my sister soccer games, and she liked soccer. So maybe I'll like soccer. I mean, it was just, you know, it's a funny thing. This is gonna sound sort of silly, but it's like, okay, how I can liken this to is when, when you have unlimited options. I mean, that's a great thing. But it can be sort of, and you've never done something before. It can also be really paralyzing. Like my former television co host, Steve Patterson, who will be thrilled that he was brought up this early in this conversation. He will love it, he built a house with his own bare hands. No, he hired some people to build a house for him. But it was like a, you know, it's like a big national builder. And so they come in, and they're like, Here are the options that you have, right? So you can do XYZ, you have three options for this. And that's it. And he would feel like kind of frustrated by that. He's also a youngest child. So you know, he is a totally different perspective. But he would feel frustrated by that by being like, you know, I, I just want gold hardware like and they don't have that as an option, you know, whatever. When we we have an old house and we renovated a big part of our old house when we moved in, it needed a lot of work and, and so we had, you know, we had a contractor who would do whatever we wanted, which is really great. But it's also like when you have unlimited options, and you've never done anything like this before you can stand there with your eyes wide open just trying to be like, how do I figure out even what to do, which was funny, because then I think that like brought me back to that feeling as a child and why it was like very uncomfortable for me as an adult play therapy and we got to it here and I don't even

James Robilotta:

mean I'll take your money you pay for the tip at the diner. But yeah, that's, that is a That's a powerful revelation be. That was a long walk for a very good drink of water. And so I appreciate the analogy. You know, it's kind of like the Cheesecake Factory menu versus a prefix meal where it's one of these three choices. Yeah. And the Cheesecake Factory menu is overwhelming. It's so fortunate the lines are always long to go but yeah,

Elizabeth Ries:

she gets the avocado egg rolls if you go if they still have those those were really good 10 years ago,

James Robilotta:

the mac and cheese balls Are the move.

Elizabeth Ries:

We can go there too.

James Robilotta:

Alright, sounds good umbrella we're sharing. Amen. But But yeah, that is the that is fascinating that at that age, at that age, you felt you felt this pressure of being the Pioneer Woman, not the woman on HGTV. But but still Food Network, I should say. But the that's, that's so interesting and I love how you paired those two with you initially started talking about how you know I was the leader, I was outspoken, I was the one who if there was a passage reading class, my hand was going up and I was ready to operate. Right? Like that's, that's that that confidence paired with the, almost the opposite of that. I'm like, Oh, God, but now I am. I am the one I was to figure it out. But I have the confidence to figure it out. That's an interesting juxtaposition. And you and I are similarly aged. I was born in 82. And no, you don't have to date yourself. But

Elizabeth Ries:

anyone was

James Robilotta:

so much more mature than me. But actually, but still, the I'm wondering where that leadership came from? Was that something that is that? Is that a trait from your mother or your father? Or was that just like, you know, where where did that I'll call it confidence at such a young age come from because there's ways to be super insecure. And also, we're talking about the early 80s. And, you know, women's rights were a thing, of course, but it wasn't necessarily as loud as amplified it it is, as it is right now. Now, you know, talk a little bit about that. Where did that come from?

Elizabeth Ries:

Well, I think a lot some of it was born, my parents talk about when I was about three years old, they like I was three and they had a discussion that they said, Okay, we're either going to try to like, you know, try to control her, or we're just going to let her go and let her do what she needs to do. Like this is the personality of this person that we have living in our house. And so so and they decided to do the latter, which I think was good. And then I think, you know, my parents always really empowered all of us to speak our minds. And that what we said mattered. I always remember feeling like, even you know, my dad was a little trickier than my mom to but with this relationship, but I always I particularly always remember my mom, always wanting to hear what I had to say. Always. And I think that was like invaluable. And I certainly am I actively do that with my children. I mean, my daughter says to me, 50 times a day, Mom, I need to tell you something, Mom, I need to tell you something, I need to tell you something. And I There are times when I'm like okay, I mean, how many times what are we what are we telling you that? But I want but then I say and I need to hear what you have to say, I need to hear what you have to say. Like, she needs to tell me something I need to hear it and and so I think laying that foundation is really important. And and then I think you know growing up in the church as a pastor's kid is complicated. I think it was probably the best training for my current public life that I could have possibly have gotten. And I didn't know that at the time. But my none of us turned out as like the stereotypical like, pastor's kid bad kid or good kid, right? Either trying to be so perfect, and everything's perfect all the time. Or you're just like eff this man. I'm out of this system. I'm never gonna live up to it. And so I'm going to be like the rebel pastor's kid, which boy was Footloose? Like my favorite movie, oh, my gosh, I loved it so much. I'm gonna I'm gonna watch that, I think this weekend just to like relive my childhood. But they were always very clear that, that we were that the expectations for us to behave as people and to contribute to our family and society, were based on expectations that were set set within our family, not in any way set within this church community. So that was really good, because then I didn't have to live up to what any of these people thought of me. And that has been the most invaluable lesson that I could have possibly learned. And I'm not saying that that's just like, cemented, and I do regular work on boundaries and work on making sure that I that I continue that because now you know, we have 100,000 people who watch the show, and who are consuming, you know, me on a daily basis. And I have that firm foundation of what I what I accomplish and how I behave. And and you know, the person that I am that's for me and my family that I am not living up to the expectations of any other group of people. Because if you start to think that way, you're you can't even function. I mean, if you start to think I gotta live up to the expectations of every single person watching this show, or even every single member of a 1500 member church, you're gonna lose your mind you're gonna get annihilated and crushed. So that That was I don't know what was the question Did I answer it? I like it. You know what the thing about me James everywhere I go there I am you think you can end this conversation? I'm always here with me.

James Robilotta:

I'm always here with there's the quote. Everybody pockets is a quote. That's yours. Who is here with me? It's

Elizabeth Ries:

easier with me. Get me out of here.

James Robilotta:

Yes, you did answer the question, and I appreciate the answer. And I love I love also I like this is what set me up with whether I knew it then or not. Right? What set me up to be in a public facing career. And so yes, right now you are on television. You've done some radio stuff as well. When did you make I guess? When did that come into your life when you were super young? Did you want to be on TV?

Elizabeth Ries:

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. When I was about 13, I remember having like a very pivotal, like a God moment, like a voice within the still small voice within you, that speaks to you. And I remember having that when I was about 13. And I remember I was watching TV news. And I remember being in my parents house and I and I thought I just heard this still small voice within me that said, I can I can do that. And I can do it just as well as them if not better. And that was that was the voice. And then. And then it was just kind of like things just sort of set up. I don't know I think when you if you can be open to those still small voices, and you can hear what it has to say. It's unbelievable what follows. Because then the year after that my mom's cousin who she like barely knew my mom has like 60 cousins. I mean, we don't know any of them. Who are you? Okay, great. She has so many cousins, because I mean, her parents both were like a family of 11 and a family of 10. I mean, there's tons of them. They're everywhere. And she had this cousin who randomly came to Minnesota to go to school at Concordia St. Paul for one year. Okay, and her name is Rachel and Rachel grew up in Tennessee, like she had no business coming to Minnesota. She didn't even know like, what Snow was. And so my mom was like, we need to take Rachel in, like, my cousin's moving here, we're gonna take her and we're gonna help her, we need to help her biocote Like all this stuff that you have to do, we don't have any boots. She needs some boots. And so Rachel came, and Rachel wanted to work in television, she was in college, she was like, 2021. And I like soaked up every minute with her. I mean, it was so interesting how it was like, I had had this like, still small voice. And then Rachel comes and then Rachel left, but she ended up getting me my very first internship at a station that she'd previously worked at in Madison when I was in school. I mean, it was all these little things, that then the opportunities just kind of opened up. And so I just consistently kept knowing that I was on the right path. And I mean, it wasn't the easiest path. I mean, it was it was a very poor path for my first job. I was so broke, it was so sad, but you know, and then I then you continue on, but it was not easy.

James Robilotta:

Yeah. Yeah. Shout out to Rachel coming in on the on the shiny unicorn. I know just really setting it up. Yeah, she totally does. Yes. To follow. Yeah, it was

Elizabeth Ries:

great. And then we had a mentorship program at my high school, where you could team up with someone in your, you know, in your field if you were interested in it, and I wanted to work in TV news. And so I reached out to Amelia Santaniello, at WCC o who's there, she's been their main anchor there for years and years at the time, she was the weekend anchor and I said Well can I be your mentor students she has not had a mentor student prior and never had one sense so I don't know what that says about me but Amelia then she took me in I mean it was it was really like I feel like and I mean I'm having coffee with Amelia next week I mean it's it's a fascinating relationship and I and I feel like those things again like when you when you're on the right path you and you're open to it these like relationships in these connections in these opportunities seem to sort of open up a lot of traction, whatever it is great.

James Robilotta:

Doubt closes doors, hopes opens up. Ah, for sure. Yeah, that's beautiful. You know, it's interesting that you said that that happened around like 13 to 13 right is when that saw that show and the voice of God came in right?

Elizabeth Ries:

Surprisingly like your own voice guys. Just FYI. It's not coming as one might think.

James Robilotta:

I'm not, I want to touch that with a 10 foot pole, but I'm not gonna do it. We'll have that one over a low drink. But, but still, the it's interesting because you are you Got this strong personality, this leader and this confidence at that age, and then you're staring at the TV, you're watching the nightly news. And you're like, I can do that I could probably also do it better, right? Like this is also what I think about 13 When you think about 13 in that age range, this is also where the insecurities are often bred that we our counselors are now dealing with now. Right? And it's really incredible that I'm not saying you didn't have any insecurities because you were confident in this one area but to be confident in this area is really cool that that A should be like No, I think I know what I want to do or I think I think this is I think I can be really good at that and it looks like it'd be fun during this time where insecurities are a Bruin? Right and that's where a lot of my insecurities stemmed from and the stories that I talked to Sarah about Sarah's my counselor, and

Elizabeth Ries:

Chateau nines Amanda shout out to Amanda out there. She's

James Robilotta:

She doesn't know this, but she's a regular guest on my podcast. So that's, that's beautiful. So you wind up going to Madison, hanging out with the Badgers eat mitt daddy dumpling dowries crushing burgers and seriously one of the best burgers I've had last five years

Elizabeth Ries:

it just the best place I love it so

James Robilotta:

much. And and so you're they're going through this you also in that time join a sorority now what sorority? Are you a part of Kappa Kappa

Elizabeth Ries:

Gamma k k g

James Robilotta:

you have the key to my heart. Ah,

Elizabeth Ries:

gosh, give me a bouquet of Florida Lee's please have reportedly

James Robilotta:

please. That's amazing. That's something you and I haven't talked about. But we both have history in Greek life. And and I love that you post pictures with your sorority sisters still on the regular auto regular for sure. Best friends for life.

Elizabeth Ries:

There's nothing special. It's so fun.

James Robilotta:

And this is also where you wind up getting was your first job in Green Bay straight out of straight out of college.

Elizabeth Ries:

No, that was my Well, that was my second on air job. My first my first paid TV gig was in Madison, I worked the assignment desk at NBC 15. On the weekend mornings, it was epic. I would get in there every more every weekend morning at like 8am. And that's not a great time for a college student to have to get to a job. And I would go get Cheez Its out of the vending machine because I maybe had had a few too many cocktails and I before whatever James stopped judging me, and then I and then I would have to call every police department like in the state of Wisconsin, they were called Beat calls. And so I would call and I would call the dispatcher and I'd be like, Hey, this is Elizabeth from NBC 15 in Madison, did anything happen overnight? And they'd be like, No. And then sometimes you'd be like, they'd be like, Yeah, and that was what I had to do. I had to like, cover my bases so that when the reporters came in, in the morning, I could tell them if anything had happened overnight, and then after, so I did that. And I interned there and then I worked there and it was really nice to you know, make some money for being there. And then I would go out with the reporters after my shift on the desk and then my first onair job was in Duluth. So Duluth, I was at Katy LH, which was the CBS affiliate in Duluth and I started there as a reporter. And and then within about six weeks, the morning anchor left and then our News Director, Jim was neski gave me the morning anchor gig and he was like, okay, so you're gonna anchor and produce the show. And by the way, we're you're going to create a whole new show. And I was 21. And I had no idea what I was doing. I mean, no idea at all. I was 21 years old. It was unbelievable. It was like, shocking. And I made a lot of mistakes. And I also learned so much I like the Duluth crew is the best crew. It was just great.

James Robilotta:

That's what a cool experience and your grazie opportunity to be like, Here you go. This is yours now. Yeah, looking around, like is she talking to me?

Elizabeth Ries:

I know. It was It was unbelievable. But he Jim was neski. We call them ways he was the best. He was absolutely fantastic. And then after then it was like, the biggest lesson of my life was when I left that TV station because they actually the new ownership came in and told us who was fired and who wasn't and changed the locks as they were having the conversation. It was unbelievable. There the station was sold. And it entered into like what's called a shared services agreement with another station in town. And so a few of us were they a few people, they kept their contracts, and they had to start working for this other station that had previously been their competition. And then the rest of us were asked unceremoniously to pack up our bags and leave. And wow. And it was it was crazy. I you know, I'd kind of knew that this was like a possibility because we knew this sale was going to be happening. thing. So fortunately, I done some interviews and I, I was prepared to, to find another job. But I remember like I always say this even today, I always say, someday is going to be my last show. And I just hope it's not today because literally, that's what happened at my first job. Like, I had no idea that an hour prior, it was my last show. Isn't that wild? It was crazy. And, and it was, and then I went on in that that was a really formative experience, because I just, I don't take it for granted that every day I get to do a show, and I'm very well aware that like this today could be the last day and it doesn't mean I have like this, you know, miserable thing. It's just like, Okay, I'm just gonna do it today. And then we'll see what happens tomorrow.

James Robilotta:

Yeah, that Spirit also has you and makes you leave it all on the field. Yeah, right. No regrets. Yeah, that's awesome. And what a horrific way to have to learn that lesson. And to now live with that slight fear.

Elizabeth Ries:

Yeah, it wasn't great. But it was, you know, I think if you had like, I always had a safety net. You know, I knew, I mean, it's not my parents weren't supporting me, but I knew that I could move home if I needed to, you know, those are the things that you that you get, and that that are a privilege. When you have a stable family and you have a family with, that's able to care for you. You know, if I had if I would have had to be like mom and dad, I gotta move home for six months, they would have been like, Great rent free. Come on in, you know, I mean, that's that, that allows you to sort of move through those things without being totally traumatized. And able to more quickly, I think, pick up the lesson from it.

James Robilotta:

Yeah, sure. Yeah, that was beautifully put that was beautifully put. In the media in the media world, you typically, you grow in the media by moving from smaller markets to larger markets. Right. And so you were in that you're in Duluth and you go to Green Bay? I don't know if Green Bay is a larger market, but it is. Okay. Great. I don't know the swath of these.

Elizabeth Ries:

So I'm happy to explain that over pancakes. Anytime. Sounds good.

James Robilotta:

Yeah. I'll get a map out. It's gonna be great. And you worked alongside a mutual friend of Jay Olmstead. Yes. You know, J dinner with him last night. Oh, my

Elizabeth Ries:

gosh, no way. And his wife, Jessica. Oh, my gosh, we have we have legendary stories. His wife and I have covering trials together. 100%.

James Robilotta:

I can only imagine. Yeah, stories that you have. Yeah. I love it. So you want to crush in some time in Green Bay now. And at some point in time you're doing, I guess what I will uneducated ly call the hard news. Now, right? Where you're reporting on exactly what's happening. You're sharing, you're sharing the the tragic stories, the hard stories, you're sharing the loss, you're sharing the etc, etc. There's also some good things every once in a while that you're allowed to share those of us in the last five minutes. So at some point in time you make the transition to this incredible lifestyle news show called Twin Cities Live, how did that transition happen? And is that one that you were looking for? Or is the one that kind of fell into your lap,

Elizabeth Ries:

it was a combination, I was looking for something different. So I spent three years in Green Bay. And, and then I got a job in Minneapolis. And, and, you know, that's like the Holy Grail. You know, like, if you're from Minneapolis, Minneapolis is, you know, it's the 15th largest television market in the country. And it is one of the best quality local news markets in the country. So it's really I mean, you know, New York is number one, LA is number two, Chicago is number three. And for a long time, for most years, Minneapolis and Denver had been considered like the best quality local news market. So and then if you're from here, like this is where you want to go, you know, you want to get home and it's, it's great. So I got a job as a morning reporter at KSTP. And towards the end of my time in Green Bay, I was starting to get that little nudge of this isn't really authentically me, like I am. You know, I started to realize that I just, I was sharing stories that weren't what I really wanted to be sharing. And so and that doesn't, you know, I still think there's a huge value. I think there's a huge value in journalism. And I think there's even more value to be quite honest in local journalism. And so I think that all those things are really important. It was just starting to feel like it wasn't in line with me. And so I get this job. And I remember thinking, Okay, I'm gonna go to Minneapolis and I moved home, I moved in with my parents, which was awesome. And it was great. And I so I moved in with my parents. And so I remember thinking, Okay, I'm moving in with my parents. And until I figured out like, where I wanted to live, what kind of place I wanted all that stuff. And I thought this is either going to really rejuvenate me like this. is going to be the move I needed to make this to continue on in this career, or this is going to be the thing that I say, Okay, this was great, I did it, I'm gonna move on to something else. And so I felt really like at peace with that. And then when I got to Minneapolis, I started working with unbelievable people. I mean, it was amazing the people that KSTP have been and still are. So phenomenal. And but I remember looking around, and particularly then, we had, I mean, this was 15 years ago, we had a newsroom of like, really, really seasoned reporters. So a lot of reporters who, and then there was like a group of us that were younger, that were more scrappy, that were just like coming in and, you know, didn't know as much of what we were doing. But I remember looking around at those reporters and thinking, I'm not getting the same thing out of this, that they're getting, like, I'm I see them like when they like crush it on a story. And I think I was still I think I was a good reporter, I was still doing well. And I was, you know, living up to the expectations of my employer. But I was like, I'm not I don't feel the same way about this, that they do. And that was a real pivotal moment. And, and then, you know, opportunity arrived in the form of the parking lot. They had just launched Twin Cities Live on KSTP, a couple months before I arrived as morning reporter. And it turned out that the guy who hosted the show, John Hansen was the one of the original hosts of Twin Cities Live. He was also from Apple Valley. He's five years older than me, so I didn't know it. I know him. And so I would repeatedly remind him of how much older he was than me. But we we happen to run into each other in the parking lot. I was leaving work, and he was showing up and so and I knew that he was from Apple Valley. And so I was like, Oh, hey, you know, I'm Elizabeth Reese, like I'm from Napa Valley turned out he had moved back to Minneapolis to take this job. And he was living with his parents, while he figured out where he wanted to buy or rent or whatever. And our parents live on the streets next to each other. That's what happened. It was it's crazy on literally the streets next to each other in Burnsville, which is you know, just right, next Apple Valley. So, um, so we had both moved back, we both had no friends, because, you know, like, I had some friends but a lot of my friends were married and you know, all that, and I, and I wasn't I was in a relationship that was about to implode, which was fine. And, and John was single. And so John and I became really good friends. Like, he was like, Let's hang out, like, let's, who else do you know, that's like, you know, moderately young and single is living in Burnsville. No one, let's get together. So we started hanging out, and then he,

Elizabeth Ries:

and then his co host, called in sick one day and said, and they were in a panic of who can fill in and John said, hey, I want to list I want to see if Elizabeth Reese can do it. And so they called me and asked if I could stay, or I think I like ran home and got a change of clothes, and then came back to the station, and then filled it on Twin Cities Live. And then I started doing more filling work for them. And, and they were in the process of looking for a reporter. And so at a certain point, I realized this is this is where I want to work. And this is who I want to be with, but I had to navigate that within the building, and telling the person who had hired you to do one job that you really like, thanks. but no thanks. I'd rather move over to this department and do another job is like a little trickier than one would think. But I remember having this moment of feeling like I I just knew, I mean, I got to the point where I was like crying on my way to work every day. Like I just knew that this news thing was ending it was just like it was too much. And there were all these things and I remember I would stop it the Caribou Coffee at Bally's in Burnsville quite a bit and everyone working there seemed so happy and my very first like one of my very first jobs was at a coffee shop that was like a little tiny coffee hut and I loved it. I still have dreams that I'm working at that job I loved it so much. And I remember having a meeting with my the woman who's now been my boss for 15 years. And I said here's the deal like I want to come on to Twin Cities Live I would love this job. And I am either going to get this job on Twin Cities Live or I'm going to go work at the Caribou Coffee in Burnsville because these are the two things that I feel like are in line with what I want to be doing and frankly at that point I was like either one of those is going to be fine with me at this point I've gotten you know, I've no rent to pay. I live at home I you know I will be fine. But this is where I'm at like I'm leaving news, regardless of if I get this job with you or not. And so and then that started the ball rolling.

James Robilotta:

That's great. All it all happened. We're in a parking lot.

Elizabeth Ries:

Parking Lot again. You know, it's those just kind of like random meetups that like random connection that seems random, right? And I just don't think it ever is. And again, it goes back to like, being on that on the right path and figuring out the right path and being open to whatever possibilities out there, even if you have no idea what it is,

James Robilotta:

yes. Yeah, I agree. So many people, so many people think that everything happens for a reason. And I believe that is true. I believe I believe that's true. If you take it one step further, everything happens for a reason if you make it matter, right, but you you've got to make your matter. And that's and that's what you did, which is really cool. Again, that, that that old school, Elizabeth Reese came out where you you took a shot, right, you shot your shot, and he said, this is this is what I want to do. And you either get me or I'm over here making coffees that aren't event these right

Elizabeth Ries:

now that you know, small, medium large, which I really respect over there. Don't mess with a tall like, what is that? James?

James Robilotta:

I don't know why the tall is the smallest one. As a tall person, I'm offended. But still, so I'm sure there's some mental side. It is

Elizabeth Ries:

it is funny too, because I'm actually very good friends and having dinner with next week with the president of Caribou Coffee. And, and he loves that story. Like he thinks that's like the best story ever. Because, you know, he likes anytime I tell it he likes that, you know, he's gonna get some he doesn't send me anything. But he maybe he should. I'm gonna tell him I told the caribou story on podcast. Yeah, please send me some beans, John, honestly,

James Robilotta:

get it over here, John, let's go. Throw me some beans, beans. I love this. And now it's incredible the work that you get to do now. And now for those of you that have never seen Twin Cities Live, it's a show that I've had the opportunity to do a couple of segments on and co host next to Elizabeth a few times, which is just a huge honor. And it involves me also shooting my shot. And and you know, just you mentioned Steve Patterson was leaving. And so I called up. I called up Elizabeth I called a Christian producer here and executive producer and, and, and said, Listen, I don't I never went to J school. I never I didn't work my way up through any markets, right? I made maybe like Whole Foods to Cub Foods, like those kinds of markets. Strong markets, but but still. I was like, I don't I don't know. I don't know what you're looking for. I don't even know if you've already found your person. But I think I could be really good at this job. And I think I would have a lot of fun. And I think Elizabeth and I have cool chemistry and like, you know, so if you're if you're still accepting people throw their hats in the ring, throw your hats in the ring. And so, so So we'll show how Elizabeth gets a co host every single day it has now for 1314 years.

Elizabeth Ries:

Yeah, almost for the show just had its 14th anniversary. anniversary. I don't know listen, these years go by Yeah, don't

James Robilotta:

worry about math, ya know.

Elizabeth Ries:

Every year it changes James, how's the person supposed to keep track

James Robilotta:

of it's rude. The show is a lifestyle news show. And so if you have the privilege of watching Elizabeth do her job. She's on there talking to local artisans about the things that they're making local businesses about the the community that they're developing, while also giving great products that they're out there talking about different types of fashion and different trends and, and bringing in local chefs and learning how to make really cool dishes and cast iron pots. And, and it's, it's a joy to watch. And what's even more special to watch is watching Elizabeth, make it seem so natural. And Elizabeth, the way that the poise, the composure and the casual illness that you have at the same time, it's that is a difficult balance. Now, and to do it for this many years, obviously, you've got your reps. And I don't know if we're at 10,000 hours now. But the previous comment that we knew there was like math, and so but but still, you know that you have this natural leader about you? And it's so it's really cool to hear that it's sparked from such a young age, right that you're just commanding personality of like, I got this right. I'm gonna read in class. I got the teleprompter. All right, like, you know, like, you're still offering to read in front of class as a job, which is incredible. And I'm wondering, you know, what do you love about what you do? Because yes, every show is different. But at the same time you now you know, I mean, the cooking segments all are a little different than fashions. They've all there. Everything's a little bit different, which is fun to have a little bit of variety but it's also 13 years of Like, I think I know how this is gonna go at this point. And so tell tell me a little bit about why why do you love it? Why do you keep doing the same thing five days a week? For for 13 years?

Elizabeth Ries:

Well, I need the money, James. I mean, honest to God, what do you think? I mean, what why else? What? No, that is very helpful. I do appreciate being compensated for what I do, I find that to be mui importante when it comes to your work environment, but um, you know, I just, I'm always interested in people, I'm always interested in people, I'm always interested in what they're doing. I'm interested in learning something new, I never get tired of learning something. And I always am learning something. And, and so that's why it just never gets boring. It is funny to think though it's been 13 years, five days a week in the same studio. I mean, we've switched out some furniture, but a lot of it looks the same. due for a set rent oh, by the way, and, and but I think it is that feeling of just always being interested in what people have to say, yeah, I, I just am. And I want to know what they're up to. And I like learning from people. And I like learning from their experiences. And I like hearing how they're doing things that are making their lives better and more enjoyable. And I don't take it for granted. I never feel like I don't want to go to work. I've had, I've certainly had difficult times. You know, when Steve left, it was very difficult for me. I personally and professionally because Steve and I are very, very close. Steve, my husband and I were just group texting this morning about Steve's latest juice cleanse today. And Jay is convinced that he's gonna go on a chicken wing diet. And so they were battling back and forth of whose diet idea was better, but you know, whatever. But, um, that and there have been times when we've had real morale crises within the group of people that I work with. It's a small group of people. And it's a very creative, subjective job, which can make doing it well challenging, because short days, people think it's great. And sometimes people think it's not, there have been major challenges with managing my own boundaries with viewers, figuring out how to, you know, just sort of continue to settle into my own skin and remind myself that I need to be that my worth comes from within that my worth, and my value doesn't come from external forces. I mean, all of those things have been a challenge. We went through a pandemic, we went through and continue to go through significant social unrest within the Twin Cities, and particularly in my neighborhood, right where I live. And so there have been a lot of things but I think, I love this place. And I love where we live. I just love it. And I love the Twin Cities and love Minnesota and and so I always want to know what people are doing. And you know, and they always bring good snacks. It's like really great. What do you think James? 13 years and you're sick of eating ice cream on TV? You tell them that's not going to happen? Yeah, for sure. I don't know. Someone's gonna feed you some sort of delicious salad. I'm in great. I have a bite.

James Robilotta:

One thing I wish I had asked you beforehand, because you all very, very courageously just like threw me the woods. Like we're not going to tell you anything get out there. Probably should

Elizabeth Ries:

have told you more. Sorry, TV. I know. That's what happens when you've done it for so long. You're like, oh, they'll catch on. It'll be fine.

James Robilotta:

I got there. But the one question I do wish I asked on the front end is how big of a bite do I take? Right? You gotta train for

Elizabeth Ries:

do you have to train for I take small bites, and then my my male co hosts consistently take larger bites and, and even female, like most of my co hosts just take whatever bite size they want. And then I figure it out. And I'll work around it. And if

James Robilotta:

you're watching them, and it works

Elizabeth Ries:

out fine. Like How deep are they diving into this French debt? Let me determine

James Robilotta:

that tells you what to do. The interesting piece, you brought this up, and I want to go a little bit deeper into it is that, you know, there are times where people can look at your show and be like, Oh, it's like news light. It's like, that's not It's not fake news, which now was really not a good term. Yeah, but maybe fluff news. That's better. Yeah. Now, but some could see it as a fluff news. Right? Because you're not talking about some of the deep things that are happening in the world. And as you mentioned there you know, as as a strong badass woman. I'm sure there are some times where you'd like to open your mouth. And I'm wondering for you, that's got to be an interesting place because you are beautifully a woman with an opinion and And there are some things that I'm sure that you would like to talk about. But I'm wondering how do you know when the right time to talk about something is and how to talk about it? You know, obviously, the murder of George Floyd happened and Twin Cities Live, didn't shy away from it now, which was incredible. But you very easily could have. Right? I had the one of the shows that I got to go to was on Martin Luther King, Martin Luther King Day, and I was like, I was like, Well, I'm talking about it. I don't know they're talking about it, I'm gonna figure out a way to talk about it. Unfortunately, y'all were like, No, we're talking about it. Right? And, and I went back and watch previous episodes where you did the same thing. And so I'm wondering, how do you find that balance, because your viewers don't tune in to your show, because they want to get smacked across the face with the hard truths of today. Right. And that is okay, there, they deserve a spot. When we turn our TV. We don't, you don't need to hit by be hit by by everywhere. And, you know, we got to get to ebb and flow with that stuff as we need. But at the same time, there are conversations that need to be had. And I'm wondering, how do you now especially in your new producer role, as well, congratulations, of the show, you know, how does that sit with you? And how do you make those decisions and draw those lines?

Elizabeth Ries:

It's, you know, it's hard. It's not, it's not easy, I would say, you know, any broadcaster will tell you that a scripted format is easier to do well than an unscripted format. You know, our show is about 80% ad lib and 20% scripted, if you're a news anchor, you've got the complete opposite, if not more, you're probably 90% scripted and 10%. Unscripted. And so figuring out that balance is very difficult. I think I, I have looked at it as it is, our it is important for us to acknowledge what's happening in the world, it's important to us to not just put the blinders on and go, Okay, we're just going to pretend nothing else in the world is happening and just motor through. At the same time, it's very important for us to stay true to our mission. And our mission is about connecting our community, and making people helping people supporting people in the quest to feel good about where we live. And at our core belief is that there is more good than bad, as as troubling as the world can feel there is more good than bad. And you'll experience that anywhere you go. I mean, you're gonna you walk out into your yard today, you're going to see probably 100% good things. And then at some point, you might see like a point oh, 1% of bad things, right? I mean, how many times you walk out of your door and see someone getting mugged in that moment, it's a very rare occurrence. So we're so the show, we sort of reflect that mentality that in daily life, there is much more good happening than bad. And that being said, when things are challenging, or it's a struggle, and it seems to sort of overtake where we are, how we're feeling collectively, as a community that it's important that we acknowledge that. And the murder of George Floyd was particularly difficult because, you know, we're in a pandemic, we have social unrest. I live in Minneapolis, I've lived in Minneapolis for over a decade. And so a much of the demonstration and the and a lot of the activity was happening in my neighborhood, and directly impacting where my kids go to school and all those different things. And so there was a lot of, of wrestling with that. And so I think I always try to just take a step back and a deep breath and go, Okay, how can we acknowledge what's happening? And then, at the same time, move forward and stay true to our mission, and our mission has become even more important. You know, it was a time you know, I remember when the show started, and it was like, everybody in the newsroom thought it was a dumb show. That's just the truth. I mean, I worked in the newsroom, and people were like, and I already told you that I worked with amazing people. And I love them very much. It didn't mean that they didn't think Twin Cities Live was stupid, because they did and they thought it was never gonna last. And it was just like a time when that lifestyle local television was not happening. And if it was happening, it was so bad. And so everybody thought it was going to be a total failure. And many people thought I was nuts for moving over to Twin Cities Live from the newsroom. They thought it was career suicide. And so what we've realized over the years is that what we do is very important, you know, when you get messages from people who say I just moved here, and I had no friends and I felt so lonely and I felt so lost. And then I turned on your show. And you guys were my friends. Friends, I mean, I literally hear that all the time you were my first friend in the Twin Cities that is like, I mean, I get emotional talking about it, because it's such a gift. It's such a gift. And then when you hear from people who say, like, I went through a really hard time, or my mom loved watching your show, she loved it every day. And she would call me and she would tell me about it. And I'd be like, Oh, mom, okay, what do you have to say that Elizabeth said today, blah, blah, blah. And she's since passed away. And when I watch your show, I feel connected to her. I mean, that's like real stuff. That's real stuff. And, and it's something that I just value so much, and I don't, I do not take it for granted. I have taken things, you know, some things for granted in life, that is one thing I do not take for granted. Ya know, like James,

James Robilotta:

shared up over here, this is you

Elizabeth Ries:

know, our friendships at a whole new level. And I don't know if either of us were ready

James Robilotta:

for so I'm not I'm not ready. But I'm in the pool now. So it's time to swim. There was beautifully put, I think you use the perfect word when you said gift. Because it is it is a gift to give to individuals. And not every show is for everybody. Right? That's why there's 9 million shows on the world. Right? So if you don't want to turn the channel over here, right, but still, so I I agree with you. And I think you all do find a great balance. Because I think that was one of my things that I was nervous about was like, you know, how do we how do we handle some of the truths that are truths? And that's that, you know, tough things happen, and some people are hurting. And, you know, one thing that you all don't shy away from on the show is mental health. Right? And so, yeah, it's really, it's really powerful to watch. And you brought up a word earlier that I that I'm in love with, so much so that I wrote a speech about it. And we're probably working on a book on it now, but a curiosity. And curiosity creates community. And curiosity is a choice. And you choose to make it every time that you have somebody in front of you. You don't have to write, we know what it's like to be in front of somebody who's phoning it in, in a conversation, because I mean, sometimes we've all done that, right? We've all been tired. We've all been like, I haven't eaten in forever. I don't know. I can't think anything but Right, right, someone's yelling, right? And so there's, there's, there's times where Curiosity is a choice that, that we don't make for whatever reason. But you make it every single time that you walk into the studio, you make it every single time that the next guest comes on to the next opportunity to comes on. And curiosity is so powerful in the way that it does create community. And that's why I love hearing that you don't shy away from talking about some of the truths, because there are some moments where it's like, no, you need to be curious about what's happening around us right now. Like you need to be aware we need to talk about it. And we don't need to hammer on it. We don't need to show you the gory details or whatnot, but like the world is happening, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. And so I love the way that you approach a lot of that stuff with love with curiosity. And I'm wondering, was curiosity always a trait of yours? You know, sometimes when you hear people that are individual that are those those hard, those hard headed leaders, where it's like, here's where we're going, everybody get in here? Right? You know, sometimes curiosity doesn't always happen to those folks as quickly. And so I'm wondering, when did you develop your curiosity?

Elizabeth Ries:

Well, I think curiosity, great leadership comes with listening and comes with curiosity. I mean, I don't think you can be a leader if you're not interested in what other people have to say, and what other people how other people think you might go about doing things. I've always been curious, I've always been a really, like, I've always had a love of reading. And I think that that is really where my curiosity probably started and is kind of at the core of it, because I've loved reading and I just love stories. So if you like those things, you're just really, you're just kind of a naturally curious person. I think people who love to read are naturally curious. I mean, you just are attracted to that because you just want to learn more and you want to know more and and you like that sort of individual like quiet. That's like a quiet curiosity. You know, it's just like a, like a really individual experience to just sit and read and connect with a story. So reading and writing have always been two things that I'm really passionate about. And my dad always said you can. You can be great at anything if you are a great writer. If you love to write and you learn to become a great writer, you can be good at anything. And it's so true because in college, I was not good at a lot of things. But I was a good writer. And so I was able to fake my way through. Like, I, my whole poli sci degree was like, I think kind of a fake deal. I just, like dropped stuff out. So that was sort of, you know, a natural inherent thing to me, you know. And then growing up I think, in a church is my dad was a great storyteller, you know, he would work really hard in his sermons. And he would, he was all I remember, he was always conscious about the time, I would time his sermons, he never thought that they should be over 18 minutes, he was convinced that 18 minutes was like the Do or Die time that once you got an 18 minutes, it was too much. I will probably talk right I would lower that to maybe 14 Now at this point in time, but people's attention spans have shortened in the modern age. And, and he would always be really good at sharing anecdotes and seeking out great stories as illustrations, which is of course, you know what he was, nobody was better than that than Jesus Christ Himself. Right. And, and then my dad was a great Packers fan. And so he would speak equally, the gospel of Jesus Christ and the gospel of Vince Lombardi. And so it was a very nice blend, and and so I I found stories to be meaningful. And I loved hearing them, and then I eventually love sharing them.

James Robilotta:

Yeah. That's awesome. That's awesome. The other thing that you're great at is yes, the story. podcast. Thanks, James.

Elizabeth Ries:

The other thing you're great at, let's keep going. I have an extra hour.

James Robilotta:

Great. Okay, perfect. But like, clearly, you clearly you've demonstrated your ability to tell great stories, but you've told the number of great stories already on this show. And and you tell them on a daily basis. And there's the other side of it, which is the asking great questions. Is this something? Is that a skill that you had to learn? Or is that something that always came naturally to you? And do you have any thoughts on how you ask great questions?

Elizabeth Ries:

Oh, I totally had to learn. I mean, I remember being so nervous to ask questions in a press conference in my early reporting days, for sure. I mean, I was, and then I was, you know, is that a good question? Is it did I know enough to ask a question. One thing that was that was a really helpful thing that I finally let go of, which is thinking you have to know enough to ask a question like, how dumb is that? I mean, that's what I thought like the point of asking the question is to know more like, you know, you don't have to, you don't have to know something, in order to be entitled to ask a question, particularly if you are in a situation in which you are an interviewer, and you have someone there as an interviewee, or you have like a public official, who is accountable to the public. And so you can certainly ask a question. So letting go of that was a big thing. And that just came with time and confidence. I mean, that that probably took I mean, I don't think I felt started to feel not nervous about asking a question until even probably a few years into Twin Cities Live. I'm sure there were time because I was just more concerned about is this question going to sound dumb? And is this person going to think that's a good question. And now I've, I've definitely let go of that, which is great progress. And I think the most, you know, the most important thing about asking good questions is being a good listener. Because if you're so busy, and I've worked with, you know, with people who've struggled with this, where if you are too busy thinking about your next question, and not having enough time, and then you're not actually listening to what the person is saying, then you've got a problem. And some of that, and that comes with a lot of practice, because you have to be able to truly listen to what that person is saying, and be in that moment, and then ask the next question. And that's tough, because, you know, then you got to think of the next question pretty doggone fast. You know, if you are in that really authentic listening space, then you can you can get to that next level. So it's certainly practiced. Definitely. It's an it's a, it's a skill that you can totally get better at with practice.

James Robilotta:

Yeah, yeah. So it's like the people who can pat their head and rub their time. Yeah, you're doing circles in both places.

Elizabeth Ries:

I know. It's hard to imagine a producer in your ear, telling you, you know, you wear an earpiece when you're on television. And so you've got a producer in your ear telling you hey, we've got this graphic coming up next. Hey, don't forget about this video. Maybe ask about this. Hey, by the way, you only have two more minutes. Hey, Hart out in a minute and a half, like, you know, all those things are happening at one time. So that is definitely something that you have to practice because the first time you're trying to listen to a guest speak and think of what your next question is, and having a producer in your ear telling you all those things your head's about to fall off of your body or like, Yeah, I'm so sorry that we did that change.

James Robilotta:

First of all, I loved it was a rush to have the thing. I felt so efficient. Oh my God, look at this. I know

Elizabeth Ries:

you're either like, wiggly, wiggly thing or your secret service, whatever. Whichever one feels great.

James Robilotta:

The other one's great. Yeah, it's a win win. Yeah, for sure. My My only issue is that my the microphone was the cord was loose, buddy. Yeah. But But yeah, that was, that was a rush. I was like, Oh my gosh, I made it. I gotta squigglies the thing. Elizabeth, here's the last thing that I wanted to touch on. And it's a little bit, it's maybe a little deep. But I am curious to hear your thoughts on it. Because you are a proud, strong woman. True. And and it's something that you don't shy away from on TV. And the world doesn't always celebrate a Stroud, a strong, proud woman. And The World is a work in progress. I think we've we've certainly come a long way. But we're not done. And a lot of your viewers are I don't know the exact demographics of TCL. But if I had to guess, you know, it skews. Is your average age listeners somewhere like 45 to 55? Somewhere in that

Elizabeth Ries:

range? Right? Yeah. And it's shifted, it used to be even older, and now it's shifting younger.

James Robilotta:

And younger. Yep, for sure. And, and so therefore, you add that piece of it even even deeper intergenerational, that issues of feminism, or lack thereof. And I'm wondering, for you, you hinted at it a little bit earlier, where, you know, whenever when I had the opportunity to do this show, you posted a picture on Facebook of like James said it on the show, and it's you and me, in our in our chairs, and then everybody's comments below it, and half of them are why Steve leaving the other the next the next largest chunk is what is Elizabeth wearing? And why does she bully everybody. And then the last is like it was good. Right? Like, and that's, and that's true, no matter who co hosted. That's what was in there. It was the same exact pattern, which a speaks to Steve Patterson's greatness, which I will delete that from this, you will not hear that. But But still, but also speaks to the pressure that you are under, as someone who needs to continue to live your true self, which is that three year old who your parents had to make a decision about? Like, are we gonna let this one fly, or we're going to try to find a cage? Right. And that leader that happened when you were when you when you were younger, and that leader who looked at the TV, and you said I could be that and I think actually could be better, right? And that leader who came up to a guy in a parking lot and said, Hi, I'm also from Apple Valley, right? Like that same strong, badass woman? How do you juggle it? You know, because a lot of us know that people are judging us. A lot of us assume that people are judging us. You know it, can you I don't know if you read it. I don't know if you avoid it. I don't know what how you handle it. But I'm wondering, Where do you continue to dig into your confidence well into your I am enough, well, then how do you continue to step into your badass are on a daily basis?

Elizabeth Ries:

therapy, therapy helps a lot. therapy helps a lot. You know, that's a it's that's such a huge question and conversation. And it is it's a daily work and a daily practice. So there are a few things that happened, I have established quite a few boundaries, and I work on those all the time. So for example, and these are, you know, I mean, these are pretty tangible, and probably applicable. I know, like my, it might seem like oh, this is, you know, only applicable to someone who's on TV, but it's really not because everybody is part of a community. And everybody is part of everyone is being judged by people around them. So boundaries are a big thing for me where I do a lot of work on number one, what can I control? So there's certain things that I don't look at like we have a we have a Twin Cities, live twins, you know, Twin Cities live@kstp.com, you can email that that's not a good place for me to go. Like, I'm never gonna go there ever. I actually just had to talk to our reporter Kelly a few months ago. She was like, I looked in the Twin Cities Live. I read these emails. She was filling in for me when I broke my ankle recently, and she was starting to get some of the stuff that I get and she's like, I just don't know how you'd like get this all the time. And I was like Kelly number one. Never look in that email inbox. Like what are you doing? I love you so much. Like never ever ever do that. You know, never google yourself. Like, these are not good things, you know. So setting up some physical boundaries on your, in your space. Number two, really recognizing that I mean, the vast majority of what people have to say about you has so much more to do with them than it does to do with you. And that is just like that's, that's one of my Cornerstone truths. And so, I know that to be true, I am going to go all over on you in that business where the vast majority of what people have to say about you, as much more to do with them than it does to do with you. Because what's happening then is that you are triggering something in them that they don't feel good about. And I've seen it you know, that even is happening within your own relationships where, like, if you notice, the thing that's bugging you about your kid is probably something that bugs you about yourself, like when you're looking out, you're seeing a big mirror. And so when I can make that separation from people, that's hugely helpful. And, and then understanding that if I'm going to, you know, quote, unquote, clap back, right, like as the you know, as like the, the tabloid media loves, say, clapped back at this person on Twitter. You know, I'm really doing that from a perspective of like, this is a bigger lesson here. So for example, I had had someone I just, you know, I posted a video yesterday, of leaving my daughter's classroom, I volunteered in her classroom yesterday. And when I left her class, I found a massive amount of stuff in her locker, like, I opened her locker and I was like, Oh, my gosh, here's like three coats, three pairs of shorts, five shirts. For what, like, what's happening here? So I post this funny video of me. I thought it was funny of me after, like, with this boatload of stuff that I pulled out of her locker. Okay, she said, And then, of course, you know, and this is to be expected, of course, there was one woman who commented, don't parents these days, keep account of their child's items, like some, like somehow I was some terrible entitled, loser parent who just like willy nilly bought my kid 15 coats because she kept losing them, you know. And I thought, you know, and your first kind of gut reaction is always like, you suck, you suck, you suck, you know, I mean, you just suck, whatever. And so that's like, the small me being like me, you know, but the bigger thing was, then I kind of stepped back. And I was like, you know, this is the thing though, like, when you make a comment like that, what you're saying is like, I don't have it all together. And so I replied to her, and I just said, Hey, I, you know, I get it. I said, but this is, I said, we do parents do ask about items that are, we can't find, but this is a huge part of the mental load of motherhood, that is such a struggle, which is the daily constant inventory of every single item in the house, and we are doing our best. And, and so I try to be conscious about when I'm going to sort of, you know, hey, you know, Hey, am I gonna, I'm gonna say something here. Because that it's that it's something with the intention, and with the heart behind, this is something that the collective has to work on, you know, you're not just hurting my feelings, you know, whatever you think I'm, you can think I'm whatever, but like, there are mothers all over that we're struggling with this mental load of motherhood, that is crushing us, physically, and mentally and emotionally, because we are expected by society to do and be everything for all people, that you, you don't get to put that on me and the other mothers that are out there, and so.

Elizabeth Ries:

So that's kind of where, where I'm at, you know, the, the body image stuff is a big deal. It's a constant battle with people expecting my body to be a certain way, in order to be worthy. And in order to be able to do my job, which I'm just going to call straight bullshit on that, you know, that is just the straight BS, I'm not going to I'm not going to live up to that for you. And so that's, that's something that's been just a consistent work in progress, too. But it's, it's a lot of boundary work. And then it's also a real deep love of connection and a deep love of community and expecting that we can do better. And so if I can do better, I'm, I'm looking for opportunities to do that too. And I get feedback, certainly, that says, Hey, could you say this differently because of XYZ. I remember one time someone saying, Hey, can you refer to diabetes as type two or type one because those of us with type one, it's a real different deal. And I was like, hey, yes, I can make you you know,

James Robilotta:

thank you. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Elizabeth Ries:

And thank you. So understanding the difference between constructive criticism, things that can help you do better and then things that that are more about them than they are about you. And then also, really setting up firm tangible boundaries of What you see and what you don't see, and then consistently reexamining those standards, if somebody comes at me about something about my kids or about my parenting, you just get blocked, you're blocked. That's it. It's a conversation. It's not anything. And that's just a boundary that I've set up. And I really encourage people just in general public job or not to really, constantly be looking at your boundaries, and it's a huge help to have a therapist help you with that. I love it. It's great. Also Brene Brown, she's, she's a free therapist, read her stuff, you

James Robilotta:

can have crying Well, while I do things.

Elizabeth Ries:

I know. So I hope that helps. We could do a whole nother episode on that James. I mean, really, it's, it's a big can of worms that will come flying at you. And they're sticky, and grimy.

James Robilotta:

And, ya know, it's it is it's powerful here, you talk about it, because you face it on a day to day basis. A just being a woman in the world be being a public figure, and a woman in the world. And so I was curious to hear your answer to it. And I and I love those answers. Boundaries are something I've heard of further. Good idea. So I'm looking into them. I gotta find a fence guy around here. But yeah, I think you is someone who has a deep desire to be liked. And someone who is as is still working on defining his self worth based on what I believe to be worthy as opposed to what other deems worthy. Right, that's, that's what I work on with Sarah. And and it's a work in progress. And it is working, right. I mean, you've obviously I come on the show, I make jokes about self esteem all the time. And there's truth in those jokes. Of course, there always is. But there's also self awareness. And that's a really huge first step. And to hear you articulate some of the steps that you've taken to protect yourself. Now hold on to your worth, at the same time, realize that you are flawed and occasionally say, you know, something that's just a little bit off, right? You could say it a little bit better, right? We're open, we're still open to learning. It's not the well, that's just the way I am. Right? That's not That's not authenticity. That's that's selfishness or self centeredness. Right. And so it's beautiful to hear you talk about it. And I agree, Elizabeth, we, we could have spent the whole episode on it. And I thought, I'm not gonna lie. I thought about it. But there's so many things that I could talk to you about, we can even get to how we both one day want to have an apiary in our backyard. You know, and we didn't touch on what is now I'm sure a mutual fear of ice. And it's not just my man. And yeah, but yeah, there's so much more to Elizabeth Reese, but I am grateful to have gotten what I could hear in the diner today. You even

Elizabeth Ries:

got a swear word you got one stuck in there that's the thing I get the most hated about you got it. Don't isolate that and then and then have it replay someplace I my day job I might have to be like, can you blame but now blame it on as a whole thing? Well, you are wonderful, James I adore you. I've loved when you've come on the show. I think what you share is so just relatable and uplifting. And you really challenge people's views on different groups of people at which I think is so wonderful. Particularly I think, you know, you do so much work with a sorority and fraternities it's a whole nother thing we could talk about but that you challenge people's views on what they sort of paint a picture of those types of kids to be like and and I love that you know personally I think that's so important but you are an absolute joy and and getting to do TV with you is so fun and doing this is like even better because you know I don't have a producer in my ear telling me I gotta go great and and you're bringing you and your wife are just bringing so much goodness to the world. So I adore you and you're You mean the everybody like you're worth it. When you define your own worth within yourself. It is a super it's an absolute superpower to total superpower. No one else gets to determine your worth that's between you and your maker, whatever you consider that to be and and I think that's if anybody can take anything from this conversation today. I hope it's that I hope you walk out into the world and just go there's more good than bad. And my self worth is within. That's it.

James Robilotta:

My crap. Oh, that was beautiful. Yes. I completely agree. Elizabeth, thank you so much for joining me in the diner for the first time. I look forward to joining you in an actual diner here in the Twin Cities sometime soon. And I appreciate you so much. Thanks for coming in.

Elizabeth Ries:

How could that baby for me?