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This episode blends documented events and public statements with dramatized
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private moments. Conversations behind closed doors are imagined for storytelling
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and should not be taken as literal transcripts. Kalaruga Shark Media.
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The uniform felt heavier than usual as Captain Harry Wales
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folded it for the last time June twenty fifteen. After
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a decade of military service, two tours in Afghanistan, and
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the only identity that had ever truly made sense to him,
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Prince Harry was walking away from the one role where
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his title meant nothing and his actions meant everything. In
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the Apache helicopter, he had been a co pilot and
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gunner on the ground in Hellman pro Province. He had
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been a soldier among soldiers. Now, at thirty years old,
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he was about to become what he had always dreaded
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most the spare with nothing to do. This is Crown
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and Controversy, Episode twenty one, Harry's breakdown. The decision to
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leave the army had not been easy for Harry. The
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military had provided structure, purpose, and most importantly, escape away
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from the palace walls and the pitying glances, away from
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the constant comparisons to his older brother. Away from the
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relentless reminders that his mother had been dead now longer
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than she had been alive, the cockpit of an Apache
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helicopter was the one place where being the spare meant nothing,
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where his royal blood could not protect him from teal fire,
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where he was judged solely on his skill and courage.
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Harry himself would later describe his ten years in the
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army as the happiest times of his life, saying they
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gave him a sense of normality and purpose he had
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found nowhere else but normalcy. For Prince Harry was about
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to become a distant memory. His departure from military service
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came at a particularly complicated moment in his personal life.
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His relationship with Cresida Bonus, the free spirited actress and
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model he had dated on and off for nearly two years,
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was fracturing under the weight of public scrutiny. Cresada, daughter
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of sixties model Mary Gay Curzon and businessman Jeffrey Bonus,
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had initially been charmed by Harry's humor and kindness, but
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as the relationship became more serious, the reality of what
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a life with Prince Harry would actually entail began to
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sink in. Friends told reporters she was unsettled by the
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idea of life living under the same kind of scrutiny
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Kate faced, with every outfit and expression analyzed, the constant
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media attention proved too difficult to bear. Sources close to
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the couple said the relationship simply could not survive the
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pressure of public life. The breaking point came in March
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twenty fourteen, when Cressida attended a charity event with Harry
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and found herself on the front page of every tabloid
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the next morning. The attention was suffocating. Unlike Kate, who
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had spent years gradually adjusting to public scrutiny during her
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long courtship with William, Cresida was thrust into the spotlight
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with little preparation and even less desire for it. By
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spring twenty fifteen, the relationship was over. Harry, preparing to
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leave the military, found himself facing a future without the
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two anchors that had kept him steady his military career,
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and a woman widely tipped in the press as a
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possible future bride. Royal commentators and those close to the
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prince observed that he took the split harder than he
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let on. The army was ending, Cresada was gone, and
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everywhere he looked he saw his brother with a perfect family,
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a clear path forward, while Harry felt increasingly adrift. The
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contrast between the two brothers had never been starker. William
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thirty three, was settled in his marriage to Kate, father
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to Prince George and baby Princess Charlotte, balancing his role
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as a search and rescue pilot with increasing royal duties.
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His path was clear, his purpose defined. Harry, meanwhile, was
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a drift, the party prince, the wild one, the eternal spare,
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who existed to provide tabloid fodder, while his brother prepared
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to be king behind pallace walls. Concerns about Harry's state
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of mind were growing. He had always been the more
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emotionally volatile of Diana's sons, more likely to lash out
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when hurt, more prone to making impulsive decisions. After a
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string of tabloid scandals, from underage drinking and drugs in
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his teens to the infamous Las Vegas photos in twenty twelve,
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Pallas aides and commentators worried about his coping mechanisms. The
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profound sadness that flickered behind his practice smile was becoming
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harder to hide. The public saw the charming prince at
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official engagements, the cheeky younger brother who could always make
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Kate laugh, the devoted uncle playing with baby George. What
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they did not see were the private struggles, the emotional
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turmoil of a man grieving not just for his mother,
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but for the life he thought he would have and
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the purpose he had lost. William, despite his own demanding schedule,
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made time for his brother. He understood Harry's struggle in
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ways no one else could. They had both lost their
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mother at devastating ages, both grown up in the unforgiving
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glare of public attention. But William had always known his purpose,
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his destiny written in the line of succession. Harry had
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been forced to forge his own identity, and now that identity,
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so carefully built around military service, had been stripped away.
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William urged his brother to find new purpose, pointing to
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the mental health initiatives they had begun together, but Harry
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was not ready to hear it. In his mind, nothing
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could replace the clarity and purpose of military life. The
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charitable work felt performative by comparison, another obligation rather than
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a calling. I wanted to matter, to serve, to be
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useful in ways that went beyond cutting ribbons and making
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small talk. The summer of two thousand and fifteen became
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a dark period in Harry's life. He withdrew from many
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social engagements, citing the need to figure out his next steps.
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The spark that had always characterized him, the mischievous humor
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and genuine warmth, appeared to be fading. Kate, who had
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grown close to Harry over the years, tried to reach out.
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She invited him to dinner at Annmer Hall, hoping that
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time with George and Charlotte might lift his spirits. Harry came,
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played with his nephew and niece and smiled in all
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the right moments, but Kate could see the pain beneath
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the performance and confided her concerns to William. William was
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worried too. He had seen his brother at low points
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before the Las Vegas incident in two thousand and twelve,
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the countless tabloid scandals, but this felt different. This was
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not youthful indiscretion. This was existential crisis, the kind that
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could not be resolved with a palace apology. Prince Charles,
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observing his younger son's distress, attempted his own intervention. He
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invited Harry to Highgrove for a private weekend. The Prince
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of Wales, who had spent decades feeling trapped by his
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own role as eternal air in waiting, understood something of
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Harry's frustration, but their relationship had always been complicated, loving
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but not always close. Burdened by memories of Diana and
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the divorce, Harry would later acknowledge that his father tried
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to help, though they had never really known how to
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communicate with each other. The Queen, informed of Harry's struggles
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by William, took a more pragmatic approach. She summoned her
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grandson for lunch at Windsor Castle, just the two of them,
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and spoke frankly about the challenges of royal life and
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the necessity of finding purpose within its constraints. She reminded
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Harry that his grandfather, Prince Philip, had also given up
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his own naval career to support her reign. It had
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not been easy for him either, but he had carved
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out his own areas of focus, his own meaningful contributions.
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Harry needed to do the same. Harry listened respectfully, but
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privately wondered how he was supposed to find purpose in
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a role that existed primarily as backup insurance against disaster
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befalling William, his entire life had been defined by what
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he was not, not the heir, not the responsible one,
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not the one who mattered most. It was around this
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period in his late twenties, after what Marry himself would
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later describe as twenty years of not thinking about his
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mother's death followed by two years of total chaos, that
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he finally took William's advice and began seeing a therapist.
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The therapy sessions, as Harry later explained in interviews, forced
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him to confront truths he had spent years avoiding. In
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a twenty seventeen interview, Harry would reveal that he had
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been very close to a complete breakdown on multiple occasions.
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Harry would later admit in interviews that he'd been a mess,
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angry at the world, angry at his situation, and at himself.
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He talked about feeling lost, struggling with the weight of
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his privilege, and wondering how he could justify his pain
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when others were facing far harsher realities. Through therapy, Harry
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began to understand that pain is not a competition, that
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his struggles were valid, even if they looked different from others.
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Suffering slowly, painfully, he he began to see a path forward.
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It would not be the military career he had loved,
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but it could be something meaningful none the less. The
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idea for the Invictus Games, an international sporting event for wounded,
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injured and six service personnel and veterans, had been percolating
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since Harry attended the Warrior Games in the United States
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in two thousand thirteen. Now facing his own crisis of purpose,
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he threw himself into making it a reality. Here was
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something that mattered, something that combined his military experience with
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genuine service to others who had sacrificed far more than
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he ever had. Royal commentators noted that the wounded warriors
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seemed to give Harry renewed purpose. Their courage inspired him,
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their refusal to be defined by their injuries challenged him
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to stop being defined solely by his position in the family.
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As summer turned to autumn in two thousand fifteen, Harry
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remained in crisis, but small glimmers of hope were beginning
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to emerge. The Invictus Games planning consumed his energy in
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productive ways. The therapy sessions were helping him process decades
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of unresolved grief, and slowly, very slowly, he was beginning
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to envision a role for himself that went beyond being
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William's spare. But the journey was far from over. The
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breakdown that had begun with his departure from the military
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would continue for months, and Harry himself wondered if he
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would ever find solid ground again, or if he was
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destined to remain forever adrift, the lost prince in his
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brother's shadow. In his darkest moments alone in his apartment
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at Kensington Palace, Harry would look at photographs of his mother,
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searching her face for guidance she could no longer provide.
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Diana had understood what it meant to feel trapped by
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the institution, to struggle with mental health while maintaining a
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public smilele to want desperately to make a difference, while
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feeling constrained by protocol and expectation. Harry desperately wished his
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mother was there to help him navigate this crisis. She
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would have known what to say, how to guide him
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through the darkness. He shared this longing with William, who
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understood the loss better than anyone. William, fighting his own emotions,
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could only embrace his brother. They had lost so much,
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these two princes, their mother, their innocence, their privacy, and
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now Harry felt he was losing himself, the core identity
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he had built in the military crumbling away to reveal
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the frightened boy who had walked behind his mother's coffin.
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While the world watched as two thousand and fifteen drew
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toward its close, Harry stood at a crossroads. One path
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led toward continued self destruction, the fulfillment of every tab
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Lloyd prophecy about the party prince who could never settle down.
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The other path, harder and less certain, led toward growth, purpose,
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and ultimately healing. Which direction he would choose remain to
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be seen, but for now, in the autumn of twenty fifteen,
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Prince Harry was experiencing what he would later describe as
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being very close to a complete breakdown. He was coming
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apart at the seams while trying desperately to hold himself
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together for the cameras and the crowds and the family
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who loved him but could not save him from himself.
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His therapist helped him see that sometimes emotionally, things have
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to fall apart before they can be rebuilt. Harry could
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only hope that was true, that on the other side
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of this pain, a stronger version of himself might emerge.
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The spare Prince had lost his way. Finding it again
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would prove to be be the fight of his life.
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Next time on Crown and Controversy, Harry's behavior threatens to
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overshadow William and Kate's carefully managed public image. Tabloid photos
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surface from private parties. William confronts his brother in a
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heated argument at Kensington Palace. Palace press officers work overtime
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to contain the damage. Kate worries about the impact on
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their children, and as Harry's spiral continues, the brother's relationship
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reaches a breaking point that will change their bond forever.
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Crown and Controversy is a production of Calaroga Shark Media
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executive producers Mark Francis and John McDermott. While no one
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truly knows what happens behind closed palace doors, Crown and
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Controversy uses news sources on the record quotes and some
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artistic license to craft this entertainment series. Some moments have
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been dramatized for storytelling effect. AI narration was used in
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this series, but it was written, produced, mixed, and designed
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by Mark and John. To keep up with the modern
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day Royal family, follow our podcast Palace Intrigue, a seven
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day a week, ten minute update on the Royals.