Crit Happens: U.N.I.T. Deployed

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0:58 Warning, warning warning. Neo magic rift detected location, the echo fields and memory waste region. At 417 AMA, significant change in rogue magical surges was detected. Syndicate Intelligence does not know the origin of this source. Syndicate Command is forced to activate the Universal Neo Magic Investigation team, otherwise known as UNIT. All agents are directed to avoid the region at all costs. Interference to UNIT operations will result in loss of Ledger and or death by scale. By secret we endure. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to

2:53 another edition of Crit Happens here on Spotify, iTunes, player.fmpoddirectory.com, stitcher.com, TuneIn Radio and iheartradio.com. We have a special couple episodes planned here for the next couple episodes of Crit Happens. We are going to be running a special session that I have been wanting to run for quite some time. It was brought to me by a couple of different of our players. First of all, say hello players. Hello players. Hello, this this session is going to be chaotic would probably be a mild term for it.

3:35 This is going to be straight chaos gremlin out of all of you and I'm so excited. This is going to be an all wild magic sorcerer session and I am so excited for whatever happens with this. So first of all, we would like to welcome in a new player, my arch nemesis, welcome in Michaela. OK. Rude. OK, rude. No. We've been playing together for some time and she's finally made her way into the Crit happened stage. So we're very excited to have you, especially for this session because we've we've done this once before elsewhere and it was just a a literal blast.

4:23 So for those of you listening have been wondering what the hell we're talking about. They are all, like I said, wild magic sorcerers which have the ability to surge and in those surges come either different benefits, different horrific consequences and anything in between. So and typically for a surge, you have to roll A1 on AD 20 to surge. In this instance it's going to be all spells you roll AD 12. What did I say? And even you will not surge and odd you will search. So like I said, it's going to be straight chaos for the next two episodes. So we are very excited to get this started. So the information that I will give you guys as of right now, again, you are what is known as the Universal Neo Magic Investigation and Isolation team, otherwise known as UNIT. You are a specifically designated team to investigate any rare or out of control rogue magic. So what you have been given at this time is that there is a rift of strong Neo magic essence emanating from this rift and you're being sent in to investigate and ultimately isolate this anomaly.

5:49 So you are starting out in the Action Belt outpost as usual in this case because the standard Syndicate headquarters is located in the Ashen Belt and that is where you are stationed. So at this time, let's take just a quick moment because there is no new characters as of right now. So these are all brand new characters. So we will just have our players take a quick moment, introduce their characters again, and we will continue on. Let's start with Zebulon. I'm sorry, Archie, you want to introduce your character? All right, I just recently decided to rename this character.

6:34 Also, I'm going with the name Rowan because it is both the type of tree and a normal person name. My guy is an Elodrin, so like a Fay elf, and he essentially looks like Bushranger, like the character from Fortnite. Who is a tree person? Bump bump bump, bump, bump, bump, bump bump bump. OK beautiful. Yeah, I know you've already changed your Discord icon to Bushranger, so I love it. Perfect. We will then move to Katie. What is your character's name? My character's name is Orban Balhorn. He's a human and he likes to carry around his rock.

7:15 He's OK. So quick quick back story, quick side note about this character specifically. This is a character that myself and everybody at this table, except probably Kenzie, has seen many, many, many, many times, and I can tell you I've been the victim of this character quite a lot. So freaking chaos demon. So yes, this character will be straight chaos and I'm thankful that I'm not going to be in the line of fire this time. I should warn all the rest of you, however, the good luck.

7:56 Yeah. Beautiful. All right, let's move then next to Patty if you want to introduce your character for us. Yeah, the my character is Verin, Princess of the Tower, and she is a human sorcerer and she likes to wield a let's see here. I want to make sure I get this right. A staff with a live scorpion attached to the top of it and she looks like. Or does it just hang out there? Yeah, it's it's it's it was attached by force. Oh, OK. Like so. And she looks a bit like Jennifer from The Witcher, just for visual.

8:43 Nice. I love that. All right. We will then next move to Kenzie if you would like to describe your character. That's OK, Take your time. I was talking the whole time and it was. Pretty weird. Yes, you were. My character's name is Seraphin Glitch Weaver. She is. She's half goat, guys. She's a seder. Nice and. Adorable. That's all I got. Because that's all I.

9:23 Think I started with a seder before I got permission to bring Orban, Yeah. All right, it makes you feel like I wanted a fawn and I wound up with the seder, so here we are. Beautiful. And then we will. We will then move to our new player, Michaela, if you want to introduce your character for me. All right, tonight I'm playing as Pippa Heck Spark. She is a kind of like a hybrid between a Lightfoot halfling and a stifling and yeah, she's going to be just as chaotic as I am.

10:04 So that's that's what we're bringing to the table here tonight. Beautiful, Yes. So we did also effectively create a brand new race breed for Yeah, race, a species for Michaela's character. She is known as a kindled or kins lid. Sorry. Excuse me, Kins Lid. Sorry. Yeah, I think this, I just want to be a really small, I just want to be a really small tapling. Like I just want to be a pocket tapling. That's really all I want. All that. You made it happen so. How tall would you say that she is?

10:44 What did we decide on like 4-1? No, I went smaller. I went three. 3 wreaths, yeah. 33 foot. Yeah, there's an ad uncommon, I think 2 1/2 as low as you. Can go before you come in as dummy. Yeah. Yeah, he's done. He like in the in the the like the race description, he said like, you know, the typical size was three to four and I was like, well, I don't have the low end of that, so I'm just going to say 3 you. Want me? Just three. Just straight three. Yeah, noted. Oh, we love that. We love a short queen. She's tiny like me.

11:28 She's be tiny, all right. So we're going to make sure we have everybody ready to go. All right. So tonight again we will start at the Action Belt Syndicate Outpost, also known as the Headquarters. Now I believe that I have discussed with all of you certain magical items that you wish to had correct? Or did I miss one? You may have missed me. Well, you as you I say, you come in with pretty hectic, hectic weapons anyway. No. Oh really? Been a rock. What else do you need? That honestly though, like Orban doesn't really care. Yeah, for real.

12:16 Like actually like. He's just like listening to that rock, like a telephone. And he's like, what? Yes, literally. What's going on? So again, a senior officer for a unit comes in, you are in what we would call an emergency briefing. And he says to you, an anomaly is spreading into the echo fields and memory wastes. Normal crews have failed. You are cleared to operate outside standard protocol, stabilize what you find, report only if required. And with that, again, it's a short briefing. He will depart and he gives you basically the information and location of where this rift is and that rift, if all of you want to look in the world map area, just so we have a look at the same thing we are looking at right below the word waste of the location of where you guys will be traveling to.

13:16 So you guys will be heading from the number 2 on the Action Belt, which is in the southwestern coast of the Action Belt. For all of our audio listeners, we love you to death. You'll be traveling again. It'll be a two days travel to get fully into the echo fields and to the location. So. This is like right in the middle of it. Yeah, just about it's a, it's a little bit if you're looking directly at the echo fields, it's it's we'll say 2 inches South of the S, the first S in wastes wastes. Excuse me, I'm drunk. So that's where you'll be heading this evening.

13:58 So like I said, it will be a two days travel. So again, my normal players will understand what's about to happen here I am. So what we do here, Mikaela in this instance is a travel encounter. There will be 3 separate encounters a day and they can be literally anything. So what'll happen is I will ask anyone player to give me a percent, I'm sorry, D100, and that number will determine the encounter for that morning. So does anybody have any questions before we begin? How will we know this anomaly when we find it?

14:41 The Echo Wastes are kind of. Craziness by itself they are that is very true. It this will be instance a little bit medicating. It will be a very strong indicator of that you are getting closer. All right, we just sense it as wild magic sorcerers. Yes, because you are. You are within units. You have that specialized training to detect unstable and unusual amounts of magic. And we're talking more along the lines of like danger level, like almost extinction level of magic. All right, I was excited to figure out what it smells like. Beautiful.

15:28 All right. So with that being said, we will begin the travel to the location. So I will say we'll welcome in the new player. Michaela, give me AD 100. OK, OK, OK. OK. God, Oh my gosh. OK, hang on. OK. So I do AD 20 and what 1? D10 Yeah, the D10 and then the other D10 looking one that has 2 numbers per side.

16:11 Oh my God. OK, D10 And then? Percentile dice is the word. OK, you could. Also just like throw another 10. 21. You rolled a 21, correct? Yeah, Yep. OK, bear with me here while I get that pulled up. I was telling Katie that I went fishing for for dice in my car here today. Nice.

16:59 Yep. Because, you know, they live in my, they live in my box, my goblin box. And I'm not a nice driver so. And neither am I. I curse at people a lot. OK, so as you are on the trail and the the path to get into the echo fields and memory wastes, everyone except Orban at this time is traveling on this path. So I need everybody to give me a, I'll say perception check.

17:44 16. 10. 1610 Kenzie 3 I see nothing. Let's see here for in. 7. OK, who low rolled lower than a 12? That would be everyone except Pippa, I think. Right? I believe so. You ain't doing great. All right, Pippa, you as you are, are making your way.

18:30 You feel a slight tremor in the ground. And I need, I need everybody to give me a Dexterity saving pro. Everybody except Pippa. We'll make that with disadvantage. Oh man, is that A1 or A7? It's a one +45 but I've rolled A1. Did anybody one did anybody else roll lower than a 10?

19:11 Yeah, I got. A10 on the dot. 10 on the dot. OK, so you'll meet it meets the beats. So Pippa failed. Yeah, Nat 20 rolling failed. Where? Where was that when I needed it there for the Nat 20? OK, so a almost akin to an earthquake has begun. Everybody except Verin and Serafin will stay on their feet. Everyone else will lose their footing on the ground. Rowan, you will take 5 blood in damage from planting your face on the ground.

19:59 Yeah, that sounds right. Cool. All right, that is all for that encounter. Again, some of these are pretty easy so that we move to the afternoon encounter. So at this point you're getting a little bit closer to the action belt, echo fields and memory waste border. So let's have who wants to roll the next. I'm happy to roll D12. This time, I think since Katie isn't here yet, you should roll some dice. You want Orman to roll or you want me to roll? Oh, you're asking me to roll D12? I think so.

20:48 OK, You're not going to get through otherwise. You're not here yet. I don't know that you guys really want to put your faith in me, but I will. I love you for it. Here we go, 10. Oh my. God jinx too. All right, so who is going to be holding, for lack of a better terms, the map where you would be following who's who's leading? I would be in the middle playing my hurdy Gertie to keep spirits high. But definitely be taking up the back looking at potentially running. All right, so it's.

21:32 Between OK, she considers awful leader. OK, So what will occur here, Verin, is as you're studying the map, you feel almost like a little pulse in your hand and the map separates into two and both show the next fork in the road for you to go the opposite way of each other. So you guys will approach this effectively a fork in the road because you are leading for in. I'm going to have you make me a Wisdom save. Are you sure you want to?

22:19 Absolutely. I have never been more sore in my life, that one. Vern, I need you to roll me AD 6 please. Starting out strong, guys. 55. So what will occur is the path that you go down which which path you're going to go down. The right path. The right path. OK so you will go down the right path and as you're going down the right path it about an hour passes. I need you to give me a perception check. Does my music provide any non bardic inspiration? 5.

23:24 Yeah, what the hell, We'll give her advantage. Yeah. Not 20. Yay. OK, you know this to be the exact same trail that you were on 60 minutes ago, and as you have this realization, you come to a fork in the road. Hey, do you know what you're doing? Do you know where you are going? I feel like we're going in circles. OK. Let's look at the map. Again, quick hold on, quick thing. So again, out of out of game and out of character. Michaela has told me numerous times that she has started Campaign 2 of Critical Role.

24:10 What she just said was quite literally the same voice as Jester and I'm so for it. I apologize, that was my ADHD. I'm so for it. If we're here for it. Anything that Laura Bailey does, I'm holding one of her bags of dice. Holding for God sakes. Pete Chester is my spirit animal, but I do feel weird about taking taking her pigging her voice, but OK, I approve. We're good with it. We're. Good with it, all right. Yeah. So again, Vern, you arrive at the same fork in the road. Well, now that that's happened, the voice I was going to do maybe would be a little silly. Love it, do it, love it.

24:52 Do it. What is it? Let's hear it. I'm just going to apologize. I'm not good at at accents, but I would turn and show the two different pieces of map and say darling the map has other ideas that. Was amazing. Let me take a look at that. I'd take both the map pieces and then cross my eyes and try to look at it as if it was 1. OK, do I see? Anything. New Give me a survival check I. Don't know that I'm any good at those. Let's see 6.

25:35 Your vision kind of gets blurry and it actually creates more confusion because it kind of has the same it the same map, but again, it goes either way so. Yeah, giving me a headache. Someone else take a look at this? Does anybody else have ideas? Any other woodsman among us? Which one are we rolling here? This one we're looking at a map. Yeah, right now if you take the map I'll give you, I'll have you make me a survival check. All right, OK, let's try it.

26:22 Hey, no, I'm not trying it. Actually, I don't want to. No, that was that and that one. You are absolutely certain that the the the the path, the right way is the way to go. We tried that already though. I don't know what you are talking about, it's so obvious. It's also the right way. Seraphin's going to kind of like walk up and like grab the map and be like, let me look. Pippa, are you letting go of the map? Yeah, OK.

27:06 She can beat me with it for all I can at this point. Seraphin, give me a survival check. Yeah, I just did that. I rolled another net 20. These guys really like me. Oh, thank God for you. Please roll me AD 6. At the four. Yeah, you are absolutely sure that the path down the left is the way to go? And do you go down that route? Yeah, sure, right now. OK, as you all head down, you see a small hazard ahead, but as Seraphin gets closer to it, a almost an aura surrounds all of you.

27:55 And you just walk right through that hazard and everybody will gain 10 tan tan temporary hit points. 10 temporary. Golly, golly. Yeah, take it. All right. And as you are progressing, it's, it's about, we'll say 3-4 in the afternoon, you just enter the border between the action belt and the echo fields and memory wastes. And I need everybody to give me, I'm going to say, an Arcana check. 19 got a good number for once. 20/30/20 who? 25 That's great. 3020 Pippa, what did you roll? I missed that.

29:04 I also got a 3020 or I got a Nat 20. I'm sorry but but that's a total of wait, what? Which one are we doing? This is what I say, Arcana, yeah. 24. 24 and Orban, would you roll? I was supposed to roll something. I'm not there. You are correct. OK, so everybody senses a almost a zone of memory distortion. Things are clouding in your heads, memories of past missions with units, even some memories with family friends starting to slowly blur together. And as you are looking at the ground you notice 3 versions of what appear to be the same footprint and all of your codex's codices.

30:10 Codices are beginning to almost vibrate, and they're warm to the touch, and all of a sudden, across the field of memory waste, there's like a ripple in the ground. You see, I need everybody give me a perception check. 15. 6/9/19. 17. OK, everyone, including, I mean Verin, you had the six, correct? Yeah.

30:51 For this is going to be a little bit more hard for you to make out for everyone else. You see what appears to be a, a figure that is slowly forming in reverse, if you will, almost as if it's being pulled back into an existence from a moment that hasn't necessarily happened yet. He, he appears disoriented. He's facing away from you. He's at this point, he's very out of it. He just got sucked through some form of ripple and he kind of studies himself and just kind of stands there. Are you?

31:48 Well, hello there fine, Sir. What brings you here today? Talk. To me. Arvind just kind of really slowly turns around with his eyes, super boy, and he's like a portal. He wants to be a partner. Who are? We've all been there before. Yeah, OK, cool. I'm a drink. You don't know where he comes from. Ah, no. Sorry. You see him pull out a rock and he like whispers to it, and then he goes, ah, no, he's. Literally talking to a rock. Do not give him anything.

32:32 Excuse me, you're like 3 foot nothing. And you talk to a rock. And it brought me here. Is that a good thing? Am I supposed to think this is a good thing? I don't see anything bad about it. Well, that's your problem. I think he has more problems than that. So. And it smells too. Yeah, yeah. So he hasn't showered in a while. As yeah, you, you were, you were sucked in that portal for quite some time.

33:12 It's been quite a long time that you were inside that time portal. So as Orban begins to interact with the rest of you, all of your codexes kind of float up from your backpacks and kind of kind of hover in front of your face. And as the pitch pages are flipping multiple times, it gets to the Backpage, which is effectively the roster page. And you see kind of written in real time a full line just kind of writes itself out without in the ink it says designation orbit code name unbound 17 operative vile recruit on site because you think.

34:03 Why are we stuck with this guy now? Unit recognizes Orban as a foreign Wild Magic operative. His arrival does match a breach. Does match the breach signature? You're late. We were supposed to leave this morning. Sam, sorry, I'm here now all. Right, I suppose that's what counts. Cool, cool. Where are we going? What are we doing? Magical anomalies. I mean AH have witnessed many an anomalies, some of magics and some of nuts. And you'll fit right in.

34:50 That's what we're here to do. Seraphim's brain. Seraphim's just kind of kind of roll her eyes, grab her Ledger that's, I'm assuming, still floating in front of her, shove it into her bag and look at Peppa, Peppa and just roll her eyes again. It's Peppa. It's not Peppa. Not like the pig. Yes, of course. What about? It cool. So do you just continue on with Orban? I think so.

35:34 It seems like we are stuck with him now. All right, so then I will have orbanroll the evening encounter D12 please. Okie dokie 5. Spencer, what does my eyeball? Seem give me a give me an Arcana check. Wait, this is not a toy. I'm sorry, what's 9 + 413? Are you kidding me?

36:23 Right sitting across the room and goes. Are you kidding me? Hey, math is hard. They say math is hard. Nothing out of the ordinary like that. You wouldn't be able to see like normal. Nothing really abnormal as of right now. OK, All right, so with A5, you notice patrol for the Ember Guard is approaching. That's three Dominion soldiers. They are each carrying a Echo Stone that reacts to any broken oaths or unstable magic.

37:16 Oh. Did they talk to rocks too? Did they give them powers? What does he say? I. Don't think so, they usually just attack when I try to talk to them. Well, the rock. Does literally no one else talks? To rocks. I find that hard to believe. Maybe you should try. I talk to trees so. Give me a rock, I'll talk to it. Let's see if it talks. I pick up a rock, not mine obviously this one is this is my rock and I gave it to you I'm. Gonna put it up to my tail. No, but the one in my eye does.

37:58 Got a rock in your eye? Yes. Do you want to see it take a very close look? Heck yeah. And what you? See, Orban give me a perception check with advantage 'cause she's basically like, hey, do you see it? No, 'cause she's looking at my eye, not I'm not looking at her rock. Right, right. That's what I'm saying is Orban gives me a Yeah, give me a. You OK? Oh, Orban does OK. So basically what you see is this arcane like Bolt effectively almost frozen in time, kind of sparkling, but it's not moving and it's almost just permanently there.

38:39 Well, she's while while he's taking like a really close look, I'm going to kind of jump at him and go, hey, try to scare him. Give me an intimidation check. Woody, back up. We'll do contesting intimidation, Orban. That's the 17. How about a 24? Yep, you are not scared. You stand there like stoic like you don't move an inch just. Confused what the hell I'm doing. Yep. Who does this little punk think she is? I grew up on the streets, damn it.

39:20 Real quick, I need everybody to roll me a Dexterity saving throw. Please. Oh. Shit. Oh. 22. 10 19 OK Verin, what did you roll? I didn't realize my mic was muted 10. 10 All right, so who rolled below a 12? Me.

40:04 Me. Me. All right, gorgeous. I need my dice. I need my dice. That's what I forgot. All right. Everybody that rolled below a 12 will take 7 bludgeoning damage from the second ripple and Quake of the Earth. It's a little bit stronger this time. So you will take what? I say 66 bloods mean damage. You said 7.

40:45 Did I say seven? Yeah, 7. OK, cool. All right. And then how would you like to approach the oncoming guards? You have a limited amount of time. What are we supposed to? So they're just, they're, I mean. They are slowly approaching from the other from the opposite side of the. Pen say hi, I don't see a problem with them. Oh, no, these are bad guys. Be careful there, OK? They're not usually very friendly to Syndicate folk like us.

41:31 Syndicate. That's our employer. I thought they hired you. That's what it says here. In my book, totally. And as as Orban says, that you feel almost a tug on your backpack, like a small tug, as if an item was just dropped into your backpack. Well, I don't look. You don't look OK you. Didn't look. God damn that rock. What the fuck? Before we get caught by these guards, I would like to conjure up the image of a forest with misty visions. OK, love it.

42:22 Alright. A 15 foot cube of thick Woodlands. And while he's doing that, I'm going to grab Orban by the back of the ankle, make sure he doesn't walk through it. Back of the ankle. Yeah, I'm literally 3 feet tall. I don't know what you want me to. Do I love that so much? Hey, Mr. I'd like. Handsy man. First, climb up the nearest tree. OK, First things first. Or Rowan, I need you to roll me AD 20 please. We got a six. A six OK, so you do not search. That was close.

43:04 Are we in the the danger zone already for wild magic surges? Yes, you you are at this point just beyond the line of the echo wastes and memory, or the echo fields and memory wastes. So magic is going to be quite unstable here. But we're perhaps safe for now. Correct. So you said a 15 foot cube centered on you? Yep. I guess centered on the party. I don't know if we're on the main path exactly or where, but we need to hide. And this is how I can hide. So in this vast almost wasteland of sand and wasted memories and broken oath stands a 15 foot tower of trees.

44:01 But they can't see us inside. I'm going to require everybody to give me a stealth check. 19. 15. 3020. Is it 3020? 16. I got 15 OK. Everybody passes, they will. What is that sound bite? That's from, I think, our second or third session together. Oh God, yeah. Two of our players said the word Yeah, two of our players said the word Dirty 20 at the same time, same time. It happens. We press the button 'cause I like buttons and. OK, sorry I didn't throw up that. OK, so with everybody passing the stealth check, even though there's a patch of 15 foot forest in the middle of the wasteland, essentially they will not, you will not draw their attention.

45:00 They will just pass by on their patrol of this area. They've seen Stranger Things here. That's not to investigate, right? Exactly, don't want to get too far into it. All right. So you will then continue on your journey. At this point it's about 7:00 or 8:00. And really the only thing that is any sort of light at this point is the the moon in the sky. Sounds like it's time to make camp. Unless the rest of the game can see in the dark, I guess. I don't know.

45:53 I've got dark vision. I do too. Urban definitely doesn't. No, no. I can just use my light, can't trip. There produce the. Sun I also have to dance with my I was. Going to say I can cast fireballs as I can count. And we're off, all right. So are you guys making camp for the evening? Do we press on slightly farther? I don't think I can see in the dark. I I don't know.

46:36 I don't know, does it actually have any like advantages to go through other ways? I mean like we only use what, one spell slot? I believe. How's everybody? How's everybody doing health wise? And it's our seven damage. What? What? I did take 7 damage. I would like to take a nap, Rock says. Nap. All right, I guess we're napping. OK so you will break camp for the evening. So as the night kind of winds down, you again, as night progresses, start to hear whispers and just conversations that people are other people have had with others and they are just screwing about in this this region they are.

47:36 Oh I love beef scrapping. So we will have two players for the night watch. You can pick whichever 2 you wish, then we'll move on to nighttime encounters. I can make a watch. I'm an. Elf and I'm asleep. Morgan, you just said you need to take a nap. I do, but like I could if you need me to. What does the rock say? You said the Rock said nap. Yeah.

48:18 I said I should. I see if you take a watch you still can take a nap. It doesn't want to tell me. Just take a nap. I guess a nap. It is night, guys. Literally Actually though. All right. So I'm hearing Rowan will take first watch. Yeah, I think I would just be meditating and listening to those conversations as an elf. I don't need to like fully sleep. So give me a percentile hole please. 85 all right.

49:11 So Rowan, I will need you to give me a perception check. Right, we got 15 or passive 16. You see kind of a almost a dark, mysterious figure coming towards camp. Oh boy, I guess I'm a polite gentleman. I would ask who goes there loud enough so that the people in camp would also hear me say that. Everybody in camp give me a, we'll say, perception check with disadvantage because all of you are actively sleeping.

50:03 It's going to wake up and be like, what is going on? Five, I'm sleeping. Like a rock, you're Yep, you're dead in the world. Happy to be here. Yeah, for Red, you're also dead to the world. That's a 10. I'll allow it. You wake you. You're kind of like what I got. AI got a 17. Yeah, you wake up instantly and as Orban, excuse me, as Rowan says hello. Who goes there? You hear? You see the shadow almost a little more quickly coming towards camp. Oh, that's not good.

50:52 I'm going to wake up everybody else. OK. How would you be doing that? Get off your lazy axes, there's a freaking shadow coming. OK shadow everyday leave me alone. Woman Orbin and Verin both immediately wake up. I'm not even going to require the role because that was hilarious. You immediately wake up. Orbin rolls over and tries to go back to sleep, by the way. Serpin is not having that. She's going to whack him with her quarter staff. Who? Orbin. Oh yeah, give me an attack role.

51:37 Back him. I just want to hit him Three. It doesn't hurt. Three, you wildly miss. Being her miss, I'm going to being her miss, I'm going to like jump up on top of him and like kind of like take him by the shoulders and just do like a Jesus, kind of shake him and get in his face. Do you wake up Orban? Don't listen to your fucking rock and me get up. Get up and as Orban wakes up, the the figure is coming a little bit more into the light of the fire of camp and he's just a mysterious stranger and he comes up to the camp that's kind of in general and says, please, I've I've been trapped in this region for weeks. I I can't get out that just it keeps circling me in the same I I need to get home to the to any kind of like semi like passes out and kind of swamps over into this into the sand. Did he walk into a portal too?

53:05 Not as common as you. Think it is? I'll tell you what. Give me a Orban. Give me a history check. Hell yeah. Oh, he's doing that. Can I do an Arcana 19? Sure, Orban, even though you're not really of this realm, you get the sense that this, this stranger is not hostile. He is genuinely lost. He has the signs of malnutrition and almost like a like a like a split moment of like schizo almost where he's hearing voices.

53:52 And you can, you know, he's kind of laying on the ground. He's kind of looking around like he hears voices in his head and he just starts screaming. Please help me help him. Did you whip my? All right, man, we're going deeper. In no, I'm asking the rock. I help him. I'm on like search first search my pockets. I think I have some some few stale crackers in here somewhere. My pet Remy might have the the the rat might have eaten them though, but I'll check I. Mean. Fucking rat, give me a fuck. Give me investigation check Orban. Out of three.

54:38 You find like a chipped off like portion of one cracker it it absolutely appears like the the crackers that you had in your pouch were eaten by Remy. Well so I did an arcana check on this guy to see if he like if he's being like possessed by anything magical of 17. No, he, he's not magical by any means. In fact, he's not. He would be what we would consider a commoner, you know, not, not special by any means, no abilities or anything. Yeah, we're all special. I am special.

55:21 Maybe he just as hasn't met the right rock yet. Shut the fuck up, rock man. All right, I got some extra. I got some extra rations. I I'll give him some food and water. OK. Yeah. He will take the the rations in the water and kind of sit up kind of fatigued and he will just begin naman on the crack or the rations and drinking the water slowly. And you see after about 5.

56:05 Minutes side eye in him. Sure. After about 5 minutes, you see almost kind of like the life start to appear back in his face a bit. He's got some food in his stomach, he's got water finally. He hasn't had water in days and he's still kind of looking around like he's hearing things, but then he kind of focuses directly on you. Peppa. Pippa. Excuse me? If you motherfuckers keep calling me Peppa, I'm on a raid. Peppa Pig. I mean, Orban thinks that's your name. Going to motherfucker and he goes. Thank you.

56:48 Do you know the way to get out of here? No, I don't know how to read a fucking map apparently. I suggest stepping through a portal that that got me out of where I was and. He goes Portal. There's there's nothing around here. There's What are you talking about? I'm going to do a little like circle like a 360, you know, And I'm like, yeah, you're right. I don't see one. Nah, we came from that way. And I just kind of wildly gesture. OK. Don't listen to him, his his brain is in a fucking rock.

57:34 And he kind of looks at Orban, looks at Pippa, looks at Orban, looks at Pippa, and goes, I'm just going to go that way. And he just starts running in the direction that Orban pointed him in. Orban, I need a good luck real quick. Orban, I need, I need you to make a Romeo D4. OK, 3. You point directly to the South. OK. Oh, no. Oh oh.

58:15 Yep. OK, bye. He will run off to the South. Yeah, don't say. For our audio listeners. Seems like the right way to meet E. Yep, for for our audio listeners, we love you to death. The correct answer was Northwest. I think he needed to go, so yes. OK, so that'll complete. I told you not to listen to the man with the wrong. He's far gone. Maybe we'll run. Into him again, maybe? We don't know. All right. And then so everybody then will return to sleep. Who is taking the second watch? Was that Orban me?

58:57 Oh, Pippa. Pippa. Orient's like, just jumps right back into his little spot and he's like night. Night. Good night. All right, Pippa, give me AD 100 please. 3333 OK, nothing that you are able to. Well, OK, so as you're kind of watching guard for the night, you all of a sudden feel your your shoes, your boots just fill completely to the brim with gravel and dirt.

59:49 This is. Funny, I'm just going to let it happen. Free foot massage. OK. So we'll continue the rest of your watch then and that will complete the long rest. We would move here into Day 2. We are going to step away for a quick break here. We will be right back to continue on here with Crit Happens. That's right, the Kickstarter for Dungeon Trader is now open and the basement of slow trading and character sheet chaos just levelled up. Launch your game into the next era. Trade items in game with ease.

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1:02:02 Matches will be hosted live over Discord, where the crowd is loud, the dice are cruel, and the bragging rights are forever. Can't get a slot this round? Don't panic, another flight night is already on the horizon. Sharpen your steel, ready your spells. Enter the arena. D&D Flight Night starts now. Welcome back to Crit Habits here on Spotify, iTunes, player.fmpoddirectory.com, stitcher.com, TuneIn Radio, and iheartradio.com. We are back into the second day of travel for our units members to get to the location of the undetermined rogue magical surges in the rift. So you all wake up the next morning and will you just continue down the path right away as well? Good, yeah.

1:02:54 I think so. Did I hear any good conversations while I was listening in the night? No, it was. It was pretty silent most of the nights unfortunately. Conversations happening just. Yeah, they are the the whispers were occurring, but while you're sleeping they're more like a almost like white noise. Or it's just OK, not full sentences? Right. Yeah, just so. All right. All right, so as the as you continue to push forward, the landscape is now beginning to shift from more of just a wasteland of dirt and voices now to almost a terrain of scorched stone, fractured memories.

1:03:45 The air is cooling. The sounds are beginning to fall a little bit out of sync. You know, you take a footstep and it takes and it echoes twice. Your shadows are being pulled slightly ahead of yourselves before they kind of snap back into place. Oh, anybody's seeing this? This is fine. Yes, it's fine. This is fine. It's fine. It's fine. Literally everyone is seeing it. We're all looking at the same thing. And as Orban walks up as saying that the the sound from his voice is out of sync with his mouth and his presence is almost creating mild distortions of itself, small slight glitches of a step that was already taken.

1:04:51 And then as all this is occurring, your codices are pulsating with the the rise in magic. And as you take out your your, your, your individual codexes, words are being What was that? I do this time by the way. OK, as your you open your codecs frantically, words are being scribbled that says memory fracture expanding, echo pressure rising, rogue wild magic increasing.

1:05:38 So what you've arrived to what you've arrived to is an area where memory and time are breaking down and you have to navigate it without being without becoming trapped inside. So I will let you determine how you wish to do that kind of as a role-playing opportunity. There also will be skilled checks. So is Orban like? Is he actively like getting consumed into that or? No, because Orban's kind of in the front at this point. His his starts to kind of ripple before he kind of steps back a bit, almost as like there's a zone around this spoke this area, if you will, that all of this these ripples and effects are occurring. Orban's going to like stick his hand in a few times, don't wait to watch it, like kind of ripple and then pull it out. OK, I'll see him doing this.

1:06:36 I'm going to kind of smack his hand away and say you, you don't know what you're doing, Don't touch these things. The rock says to, so I just continue. OK give me an insight check me Orban. That one. All of these are every time you cross the the threshold, it's a genuine echo of what you're doing. So it's like 1/2 step behind in time. Cool be. Going over here, can I also make an inside check on it to be? Well, hold that thought actually, because we're going to. We're going to complete Orban. Orban, I need to enroll me AD 20 on the wild magic search table, please. Hell yeah.

1:07:21 Oh no, wait. No, it's cocked. I want a Nat 20. Oh my God. Oh my God. This is why we don't let you play. Oh my gosh. OK, this is going to be horrendous. God I. Need damn it, Katie. Everyone. I need everyone to roll me two D 20s. Including me.

1:08:01 Including you. Oh my God, you're not going to believe this. I have to take a bitch. Did you just do two more 20s? Bitch, are you doing 2? Ones I did 2 ones. Oh my God. No. I'm gonna need some photo evidence. Hold on. Let's talk about that, honey. And it's 17. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. If it was going to happen to anybody, it was going to happen to Orban. Yeah, well this is going to get this goes up. OK, I need everyone to roll me two separate Dexterity saving throws.

1:08:52 Sure shit, there it is. 2 natural ones. Does Arvind also roll these rolls? Yes, I need a beautiful Everybody needs to roll 2 separate Dexterity saving throws. Are those the two that you just had us throw or are? These these are these are, yeah, these are the consequences of of orbons 2 natural ones. All right. OK, I got another natural. Go ahead. Go ahead. I got another natural 20 and a 10. OK, what's your dex modifier or saving throw modifier? Let's do.

1:09:36 Two, OK, so the net 20 of course will succeed. The second 10 or 12 in this instance will not. You will take. Goddamnit. Orbiting 17 fourth damage. Oh boy. Let's now move to Rowan. I need your Dexterity saving throws please. I got a 19 and a 10. So the 10 what's your dexterity for modifier? Is that with your modifiers? That was with. OK, so the 10 will fail. You will take 15 forced damage. Next we'll do Serafin. I got a 21 and an 18.

1:10:21 Both of those will succeed. You will be fine. I apologize also Orban and Rowan. And wait, did I have Orban do his Dexterity saving throws yet? Pip. Oh God I hate that. Pippa and Rowan, you are both knocked prone. We will move to Verin. I rolled a net one on the first deck save, so 2. And. Then I rolled a net 2 so I got 3 for that second deck save. Why do our dice haters? 11:13 Fourth damage to you for in and then Orban will have you do your dexterity saves and then also again Patty, you're not on prone.

1:11:14 I was A5 in US ten. OK, 10/21. 23. 26th force to you, Orban. As much as this is going to pain me to say this, I'm going to show you what the effect is on a natural one. Mainly that last line. Katie, I need you to roll me two more D 20s to roll again on the table. God. Oh my God, two. Oh my God. Yeah, you rolled right now You, you rolled 2 that one, so.

1:11:55 Three and a 12. Three and a 12 is. She death saving right now be so for real. Are you death saving? I don't think so. No, no, I'm not 20. 4 All right, all right, all right. My God, so with your what was your first role? Again, I apologize. You got a three and a 12. OK, so with your 3 you will transform into a gargoyle.

1:12:40 OK. With your 12 like a gargoyle Katie, I'm trusting you on a role play option for this. What? What was the question? Well it's not a question. So with the 12 the caster forgets 1 personal detail such as a quark, favorite food or habit. DM's choice for the rest of the session. No mechanical effect with heavy role play impact. I am going to make you forget the the rock. Did the Rock tell you what will tell you this was going to happen? Spencer, you know, fucking rat named Remy and you picked the rock. I did because I want to see what you do. I don't.

1:13:31 Know what he's going to do? Fuck the Rock is going to find it in your back like everything. You forget mostly everything about the Rock You. I will. I'll say that you have a distinction that this rock meant something to you, but it's going to take some time to try and remember. Fuck. OK. OK, cool, let's now move to Pimpa's 2 rolls on the Wild Magic table. Oh man, come on. OK, wait, was that the first roll I did? No, that was for your Dexterity saving throws. You know the role before that.

1:14:17 There was the role you did before that was for because you've only done one set of two so far. I've only did 2 sets of two. I don't. Yeah, just roll them again all. Right, that's two fives. So you are going to have two very powerful memories about this area. However, these memories are not your own. These memories belong to someone you've never met before, someone you've never come into contact with. You know that this person has been to this location and been to this region once or twice before, and you know that each time he came back drastically different. Give me a I'm going to have you make me an insight check 16.

1:15:44 You know that this memory belongs to a shapeshifter named Zebulon. What? Is that name. That was my main character. My guy's given up some memories a handful of times. It. It sounds like an alien name. It kind of sounds like. It's actually a biblical name. A man named Zebulon from the point the Bulla Doob. Exactly. Also Pippa, you are going to be stunned for 5 minutes. We will move to Rowan. Oh boy, I rolled A-15 or sorry, a 16 and a 17.

1:16:27 OK, first let me start the timer for OK 16. A 10 foot cube within 60 feet of you fills with fractal particles for one minute. Creatures in the area have disadvantage on all attack ability or saving throws, and the area is lightly obscured. So really, nothing effects you right now. OK, I'm going to change this one because we're going to be here for fucking ever. The original 1 it says every Wild Magic sorcerer within 30 feet must immediately roll on the Cascade Wild Magic table and apply the results. So instead, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to enact their first Wild Magic and Mischief Card of the Night, brought to us by our friends at Game Masters Books. It is going to be the fount of lightning, and what that will mean is a good question.

1:17:32 The fount of lightning chaos, chaotic rising Lightning crackles across the area. Every creature must succeed on ADC 12 plus your proficiency bonus Dexterity saving throw. So we'll say it's going to be ADC 15 saving throw or take 44 lightning damage. Is anybody made of metal or wearing anything metal? I didn't think so. OK, I think so. So I need everybody to rule me a Dexterity saving throw except. How will that work As I'm a gargoyle? You can.

1:18:12 Still take the, take the check. I'm going to say that however with the with the gargoyle, I'm going to follow his stats for that. So you will have a straight 0. So it's whatever the die says. How mid? How mid And then for Pippa you will make this roll with disadvantage because you are stunned. Well, I roll in that one. Oh boy, OK.

1:18:53 Right goes across the room, he goes. Fuck. OK, who all rolled below a 15? Me, Orban, Pippa. 23 here. OK, Rolling's good. Serafin, you're good. Veran, you're good. Yep. OK. So Michaela and Orban. Orban. You will take 3. 578 What did I say? Force damage? Lightning damage.

1:19:37 Great. And then with a natural one 6/10/11 15. 17. Yeah, 2325 31 Lightning to you, Pippa. Well, I have 20 hit points, So what does that mean? So you will dip below 0, so you'll fall unconscious. So as as Rowan feels like this magical pulse kind of emanate from within him, pulse, you just see Pippa just fall right to the ground.

1:20:39 Well, that's not good. Are there more wild magic surges happening? Yet, yeah, we got to get through Serafin and Verin yet. But I would allow a moment if you wish to do something to bring her up. Yeah, I don't have any healing magic or anything, but can I attempt to stabilize her? Yeah, I'll let you do that. Give me a medicine check. Right, I rolled a 6 + 3 is 9. I will allow her to stabilize at 0.

1:21:21 Don't die on me. OK Seraphin 2 D 20s please. Yeah, I rolled 13 and a 20. OK, I'm ignoring the 20 because we're not doing this again. So the next spell that you deal, you will get an extra 1D eight of the type of damage that you're doing, but you will also take 1D8 of that same type of damage. So just write that down in your character sheet somewhere. And then for the 20 I'm just have to flip over another card, probably easier.

1:22:09 OK, I the fount of shining light. Bright light illuminates the battlefield and runs through all things upon it. All creatures shed bright light within a 10 foot radius, have disadvantage on stealth checks, and gain no benefit from being invisible. This light is the the light of this fount overrides any darkness, magical or otherwise. Oh boy, how long does that last until. I determine that's done, I'm going to set a timer here. All right, all right. So that will do Seraphin's turn for Rin.

1:22:50 Two and a 19, you know. OK, let's. Start with the 19. You may choose one of the following as your magic harmonizes with ambient shards. You can either regain a source report, which I don't think you've spent yet, teleport up to 30 feet to an unoccupied space you see, or you can impose disadvantage on the next saving throw against the spell the cast or cast within one minute, so. I'll pick the last one. OK, we'll just allow you say the next spell cast against you or the next spell that you require a like a saving throw for will be made a disadvantage similar to what Serafin has. OK, cool.

1:23:36 And then that will complete the wild magic surge that took forever. So what you saw in the span of approximately 20 seconds was Orban stick his hand in the over the threshold of the distortion of magic and time and set off a cavalcade chain reaction of wild magic, including Pippa who's currently still laying on the crown. So like, how does this whole being a gargoyle work now?

1:24:17 I have a timer running for the. OK cool, temporary polymorph. I am just freaking out right now. You are a rock who's forgotten about your rock. Are you moving right now? Me, yeah, but I'm kind of like looking at my as I'm like looking at my arms and things. OK, so you're moving? Yeah, it was just laying on the ground kind of moaning and you hear go, if I make it through this, I'm going to fucking kill that gargoyle.

1:25:07 Well, I don't have any healing, but I would at least try to pick up Pippa to carry her with us. We do like the wrong rest or something. Jesus. Sounds like we need to get out of here. 1st right I'd allow a short rest 1515 minutes for a short rest or you know if you want to take a couple of rest half hour yeah you can take a couple of dice yeah we're. Gonna need it. OK, yeah, thanks to you, asshole. So how long will you guys be short resting for? I'll leave it up to the most injured person maybe. I'd like to short rest for three years.

1:25:50 OK, that's quite a lot of hit dice. We'll start with 1/2 hour. Roll two of your hit dice to get some of your hit points back. Nearly gonna remember. They'd be on your the front page, I believe. Yeah, on top left underneath your Mac's HP says Hit Dice total 86, so you can roll you. Can roll to keep. Do an hour. Yeah, at least I'm I'm under half still. More than an hour.

1:26:38 How many would I get? You'd take 4? Yep. Rowan is back to foam. Oh Jesus, rolling low. 8-9 I'm. Barely over half. Did any of those dice show up as a six? Nope. No, OK. OK. So you can take that hit point back that you rolled and then you may continue on if you wish.

1:27:23 I'm gonna yell at the gargoyle, actually. Am I even a gargoyle anymore? It's been an hour. No, you would not be a gargoyle anymore any longer. Think so. OK, well then I'm just going to get in his face and say next time I tell you not to touch something, don't fucking touch it. Yeah, fucking idiot. I'm going to turn to anybody who's next to me and go. I don't. Know. What's going on? What the fuck is Yeah look at? Her so man like. Just. Orban is like completely wide eyed and really confused right now.

1:28:04 He's like, I know I forgot and I don't know what it is. Sarah is just going to reach over and like Pat Orbin on top of the head, be like they're there and just walk away. All right, So what would you like to do from there? Again, currently you're still standing right outside where all hell just broke loose. And we need to get further into that direction. That's correct. I'm just going to keep stomping along I guess.

1:28:48 So wait, is it like the path is like blocked by? This is that to you it almost appears like there's an invisible threshold on the path. There was a certain point you can see, like almost like a glimmer every once in a while, indicating there's some form of magical barrier there. OK, can my eyeballs see or detect anything? Give me a perception check. Was the part that it sees the next wild magic surge or something like that?

1:29:30 She's looking to see if she can see discrepancies in the on the ground. Right now. Gotcha. Yeah. Oh, I mean in like the, in like the force field or like, like if my eyeball can see anything different about the air, you know? Oh, sure. Yeah, 14. OK, so again, you can see through the threshold if it glimmers right at the the the barriers starting point and you see in the air almost like like a bird flying and then kind of reverts back to where it was before and starts flying. And then it jets like teleports like 30 feet in front of it and keeps going comes back.

1:30:22 So it's almost like it's others, it's lagging. OK, is there like a pattern to it? Give me an insight check. That's the right. Place or I. Don't see? There's there's, there's no, there's no pattern to it that you can at least you can tell there there's no pattern. How do we feel about teleporting across the threshold?

1:31:04 Oh, I have a spell for that. Does anybody not have a spell for that? I I I got I can I can. I remember doing the steppy thing and it was like missed. I think I can do it. I can do. I can do. Dimension door. You teleport from your current location to any other spot within range. I don't know if I can take other people you can bring along. Yeah. OK. You can bring along objects as long as their weight doesn't exceed what you can carry.

1:31:49 Yeah. Does your little 3 foot self. Yeah. So that's not going to work for everybody. I have both misty step and phase step. Ellodrin can like, teleport a willing ally as if they were casting misty stuff. I feel like I'm supposed to do something before I do the the the misty step. But I don't know what the fuck up. Just walk through the misty step now. Don't give him that. Let him keep him. He doesn't know what the fuck is going on. Just let it happen. Fuck that rock. What about the rock? Anything about a rock? I'm trying to figure out what this rock is. I know it's important.

1:32:32 I'm talking about your brain, stupid. It is a rock. Do you know what? This rock, I don't know shit. Give me a deception check. Like do I roll against it? Yeah, give me an inside check. Contested. Well I got a net 20 + 8 so. And she he got a 5. Yeah, you absolutely believe him. You believe Pippa? OK. Give me a give me a Constitution statement for Orban. Oh.

1:33:22 Good. I think that's the right save. Give me another one. OK, how's a 2323? OK, you will hang on to the rock still. Good. OK, so so far and I assume Pippa, you relayed that information to the rest of the party with the bird? The what?

1:34:14 The bird? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, as all of you have seen the bird kind of glitch back and forth, lagging in the air. Also the ground as as Pippa kind of points you in the right direction of the of the area she's looking. You see the ground kind of like almost like a wave at some points. It's like it's growing, shrinking, kind of almost recreating itself. I'm going to convince the gargoyle to go. 1st. I am not a. Gargoyle no longer a gargoyle. OK, I'm going to convince the dumbass to go first. OK, give me a persuasion check.

1:35:01 I will have Orban give me a, oh, we'll just say contested persuasion. He's persuaded that one. That one beautiful game. That's hilarious because it's a math 20. Oh my God. Really well. So you get this rush of adrenaline, Orban, I'm going to give you 10 temporary I. Gotta get outs. You got, I gotta go. I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you 10 temporary hit points as almost as a rallying cry as you go sprinting through this threshold. You know, he's honestly, he's going don't touch my rock. He doesn't know why, but he knows it's important. I'm going to need both a survival check and an athletic check.

1:35:59 For survival, he got dirty 20. Is a dirty 20. For athletics, he got an 8. OK, so with the athletics role, you're going to kind of go to burst through this echo wall and you are going to feel a rush of arcane energy. I'm going to have you take 10 points of force damage.

1:36:39 OK. But with your dirty 20 for survival check, you will be able to maintain the path in this warped terrain. OK, OK. Ow you guys coming? I'm going to do, I'm going to do dimension door from where I am to where he's standing on the other side. OK, give me an athletics check.

1:37:26 Wait, why do I need to do an athletics check? Because you're going through the threshold. Even though it's even though it's like a door from one side to the other. Oh, you're I'm sorry. You're using Dimension Door. Yeah, I apologize. I didn't hear that. Yeah, I will say that you do have to give me a roll on the actually, let's see here. Dimension Door is a level spell, correct? It absolutely is. Roll me AD 6. That's a six. Six. OK, You will not search. So yeah, you'll just pass through kind of seamlessly to their standing right next to Orban. Oh.

1:38:10 Damn it, not you. It's Easter fucking pepper. One day you're going to love me. It might not be today, but also good. Does the rest of the gang have a plan for how to get across before I go? Otherwise I can face step someone across. I can miss these steps, so I'm good I could. Use some help. All right, in that case, Ioffer up a face step. It's not a spell, it's just like a racial feature. And as a bonus action, when I use face step, I can instead teleport 1 Wheeling creature I touch within 5 feet of me. It teleports to an unoccupied space of my choice that I can see within 30 feet of me.

1:38:59 So teleport across the threshold, after which I will follow with misty step which is a spell. They're also doing the misty steps we. Oh my God, I was muted that entire time. So sorry As I was like, I was like, hang on a second. It just kept going. I was like, OK, so when you teleport through, you still feel that slump of arcane energy. And as you teleport into the the echo pressure zone, the air kind of almost snaps and you see the glimmer of the threshold of this zone kind of dissipates. Interesting.

1:40:03 Oh, I think we press onward. Agreed. Let's go. OK. Okey dokey. Orban, I'm gonna have you lead still because of that. I'm just waiting to check. So you push on and you push on for about an hour and orbit. I need you to give me a perception check. OK. 19 You see about, we'll see about 500 yards ahead, a very distinct but very a visible yet very far away thin line of red light. Anybody else seeing this red light? I'm going to just went.

1:41:10 And look in that direction. Yeah, I'm going to point where I'm seeing this line of red light. Yeah. And as Rowan, I'm sorry, as Orban kind of points in the direction of the thin line of red light, everybody does see it as it's kind of shifting in the air, almost like a little bit of a wave. Arcana like this? Say again, Verin, sorry I. Want to do an arcana check? Yes, give me an Arcana check.

1:41:52 I'm going to have you do it with disadvantage though, because of this 500 yards away. 19. With disadvantage, yes. OK, this thin line of red light is the source of the rogue arcane magical surges. OK. I'm going to share that with the party. You mean we made it? We found the thing. I think so. Now what? Hey. Supposed to enable it.

1:42:32 Or contain. It Hey, Orban, go touch it. Go touch it. I feel like I'm supposed to do something first. Give me a persuasion check Pippa do. I. Do what was it? What was they roll against that? You'll just do a same persuasion, contested persuasion. 18 + 8 so. 2616. You're tempted to go touch the red light. OK. OK. Is anyone following Orban?

1:43:14 I'm going to by the shoulder and be like, let me try this time. OK, I don't know, like I kind of want to though. Like it looks shiny. Shiny, if you want to touch the the line, let him touch the line. However, I do feel following. I feel like we should probably before we walk into this, we should probably long rest, maybe potentially there. Would be no long rest available, there would just be short rest. OK, All right. Because I have nine hit points, so I got. 28.

1:44:00 I'm going to cast on Pippa Healing Word. OK, go ahead and give me. Yeah, what's the word? How? How tall are you? 3 feet. OK, I'm going to. I'm going to. It'll be short. Short OK, First things first. Give me AD 6. Roll six. You will not surge. OK, so go ahead and roll damage. Remember exploding dice if any of those explode. Here we go, 2 D 4 + 2.

1:44:55 All right, so eight points of healing for Pippa. Thank you. You roll 2 threes. It's it's two D 4 + 2 so I rolled 2 threes so I got a. 6 + 2 threes. Yeah, that's what I think of. OK. I just want to make sure you didn't explode. OK? No. Cool. All right, So, yeah, you could take those hit points. Pippa 17 for you all right. And then unless everybody stop and her orbital start or him is orbital start, making his way towards the red light. I'll be following close behind. OK, she's honestly kind of just like, not too close, but you've been singing it, so I'm on my way.

1:45:46 So as you get closer, the air is kind of growing quickly. Colder colors are starting to flatten into a dull shade of their once bright color. Also, you are no longer bright lights you the all of your Neo Magic Isolation codexes appear open in front of each of you and in each one it writes the same message across the pages. It says fracture collapsing breach opening and straight ahead the red light is tearing through the air. It's it widens, it twists and it's becoming a full on rift. The ground drops about 6 inches in a single motion. Your shadows are stretched forward. Heat scatters across the earth in sharp pulses. The rift is pulling.

1:46:45 Not like wind, not like gravity, but it's pulling the way a memory drags somebody into a distant moment. Slow at 1st and then immediate. Your codex's vibrate. Flames of Violet Neo magic arc across the covers. The team, your your team feels the pole in their chest before your feet begin to drag on the ground. One step, 2 steps, and another, and there's no choice. There's no time. The Fracture sees everyone of you as a single unit and pulls the pulls you into the center of its rift. The fold the world folds back into on itself. Heat, light, silence, impact.

1:47:29 And that's where we're going to end tonight's episode of Crit Happens. God damn it. Beautiful. Yeah. I'm excited for next week's episode as well. I hear questions that was. Rock, guys. Orbit doesn't have a rock anymore. Full for now anyway. He has a rock, he just doesn't know what it is. He's from a rock. Thank you all so much for listening. That was a stupid joke. Head over to our Facebook pages. You can just follow us on all of our socials, including follow us on Spotify as well to get notifications when the most up to date episode releases. So for everybody here at the P3 Podcast Network, I am Spencer Hart.

1:48:19 And for the cast, if it happens, we will say goodnight.