Religion, The Church and Faith

I was in a hospital room in Newport News VA, part of a prayer and praise session with my soon to be in-laws surrounding the man who, unfortunately and tragically, would never become my father in law. There was praying and crying and pleading and a weird joy that gave me the feeling that something larger was happening in that room and I was an outsider to it all. A few days later, at the funeral of my never to be father in law, I decided to become a part of that happening and accept Jesus into my heart … something was happening and I wanted to be a part of it. 

I am not here to evangelize. I tell that story, and I had a church past that led to that moment that started long before the hospital room, but I tell that story to give you a starting point for the next chapter.

After our wedding in 2001 Julie and I attended a few churches, both in Maryland and in North Carolina. When we landed at our most recent church in 2005, we really needed a stabilizing force in our lives. We were in over our head trying to run a business and we had a toddler. We found that stabilizing force, not only in a theological base of knowledge that I know I was lacking, but also some practical advice on parenting, relationships and marriage. We also made friends and started planting roots in the community. We went on to volunteer for the Church, Julie worked at the church, our kids grew up at the church … we were baptised and dedicated and children accepted Jesus at the church. Quite an impact

It is hard to pinpoint if we changed, the church changed or if it might be both. In the broad Christian church there were seemingly constant stories in the news of churches and church leaders falling for a myriad of reasons. Financial scandals. Scandals of abuses, including abuse of power, sexual abuse, spiritual abuse.  I look at my time at the church as I would the growing of a child into adulthood. We needed the comfort, security and guidance through the infant through Early School years of Church. Then came adolescence … where logic collides with belonging. Where you look for more individualistic identity and mutual respect from sources of leadership and power, rather than a relationship of control and authority.

So now that I have hit Adolescence and early adulthood I am now trying to reconcile the good things that I have learned and experienced with the seemingly unchristian actions I have viewed in both my local church and that has been on display from churches around the world. How do I disentangle the message of love that is taught in the gospel and the abuses of the people and institutions that are charged with proclaim that message and shepherding the people? There are too many stories of abuse and tragedy and mistreatment and destruction coming out of todays church. Evangelical churches love to count the numbers of people that come through the front door. The number of people who come to Christ. The number of people who are baptized. The front door of the church is a joyful place. But what is not seen is the triage tents set up out of the back door of the church. That percentage of people who get burned, battered and bruised by church and whose exit is ignored, hidden and it’s worst, mocked or criticized. 

I have heard an argument that the media attention that scandals like Mark Driscoll at Mars Hill, Hillsong Church’s downward slide and Bill Hybels at Willow Creek are making Christian believe that problems at the church are being overblown. I would say in counter to that, how many people should be hurt by a church that proclaims a message of love, peace and hope? Wouldn’t 1 be too much? 

So that is where I am. I am untangling the good and the bad. I have deconstructed my faith in search of a foundation to rebuild. I have found that foundation. I have stripped the church and its leaders and members away and found these truths for me. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus. I believe that Jesus’ life of love, forgiveness and truth is a pretty good foundation. When it comes to church, well … I mentioned earlier that in that Newport News hospital I saw something happening and said that something is happening here and I want to be a part of it. 20 plus years later, i find myself looking around, saying something is happening here and I am not sure I want to be a part of it. Maybe it is not supposed to look like this.

To continue these thoughts I had a conversation with David Roberts. David is an associate pastor at Watershed, a progressive non-denominational church in Charlotte, NC. He has been in vocational pastoral ministry for 12 years and has a masters degree in intercultural theology from Fuller Theological Seminary where his focus was on post-evangelical congregations. David lives in Matthews, NC with his wife Amy and his children Marina, Clara, and Leia. 

Having followed Watershed’s services a bit on Youtube I saw that they were doing things differently than a lot of churches I have encountered. While their progressive theology may not be for everyone, the thing that I admired looking at them from afar, is that it seems they are adept at working with and helping those Christians that found themselves in the back of the church triage tents at other churches. I really enjoyed my conversation with David and I hope you do too.