June 5, 2024

When even Fox News says Trump flip-flopped

When even Fox News says Trump flip-flopped

Trump loves early voting and mail-in voting!

Biden throws around the word unhinged.

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Trump loves early voting and mail-in voting!

Biden throws around the word unhinged.

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Calarogu shark media from Washington, DC, where even Fox News is calling Trump

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a flip blopper. This is ballot, that's right. The man who never

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said lock her up is now all
in favor of mail and voting. Next

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he'll claim he never hosted the Apprentice. Let's hit this, Jimmy Fallon said.

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The big question now is whether Trump
will get jail time or house arrest.

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If he's sentenced to jail, millenia
will be inside the courtroom chanting four

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more years. Trump will be sentenced
on July eleventh, and his lawyers told

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him you should get your affairs in
order. Trump was like, that's what

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got me in trouble in the first
place. Seth Meyers added, that's right.

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Former President Trump was found guilty last
week on thirty four counts of falsifying

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business records and faces up to four
years in jail and a five thousand dollars

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fine. And I think I speak
for all of us when I say you

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can wave the fine. It looks
like old Joe has finally found the perfect

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insult for his twenty twenty four foe, calling Trump a convicted felon seeking the

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presidency. Ouch them's fighting words from
sleepy Joe. You can just picture Biden

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rehearsing that zinger in the mirror.
You're a convict, Donald a criminal U

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A felon guy nailed it. His
aides probably had to talk him down from

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calling Trump the dreaded malarkey pedlar again. But let's be real. While the

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convicted felon dig packs some punch,
Biden really went for the psychological juggular by

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claiming something snapped in Trump after twenty
twenty. That's some master level shade from

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the vampire slaying cornpop pop president.
I can see it now, Biden hunched

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over an old oak desk, feverishly
scribbling insults like unhinged and literally driving him

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crazy between bites of his morning Jello
cup, the Leader of the Free World

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doing some hardcore armchair analysis on Trump's
crumbling mental state. Thanks Doc, Though

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you do have to admire Joey's chutzpah
in calling out Trump's attacks on the justice

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system as reckless and dangerous. That's
some A plus pot kettle action from the

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guy who threatened to beat up a
voter and started shoving matches during the twenty

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twenty debates. Still bonus points for
hitting Trump with the classic They're just mad

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they lost line about the rigged claims, an oldie but a goodie that every

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president from Lincoln to Obama has surely
deployed at some point. At this rate,

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I fully expect Biden's next event to
feature sobercas like the former guy Donelost

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his marbles and trumpty dumpty boo frigity
boo. The insul comic tours just getting

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warmed up, folks. I'm kind
of mad I had missed this one.

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Look who decided to take a break
from his legal woes and play ringside VIP

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at UFC three h two None other
than the newly convicted felon himself, Donald

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J. Trump. Two days after
that bombshell guilty verdict in the hush money

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case, there was the former president
living his best life court side with Dana

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White and the UFC boys. Because
when you're an alleged criminal mastermind fresh off

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thirty four felony counts, what better
way to celebrate than by chumming it up

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with muscle bound punchers. I can
just picture it. Trump rolling up to

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the Prudential Center, flanked by security
goons, smirking away as the crowd rains

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down a smattering of ironic cheers.
Gotta imagine at least a few anti Trump

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protesters were in that mix, getting
their chance drowned out by bloodlust. Then

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it was Donnie Tuoscoops making his royal
procession past the riff raft, shaking hands

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with dlist comedians nobody's heard of,
giving his best pained rictus grin to the

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little people's as he makes his way
to the VIP section, living the dream,

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but the cringiest part having to bear
hug it out with his old pal

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Dana White, who I'm sure tried
valiantly not to get any of that convicted

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felon stank on his affliction tee.
Or watch Trumpty Dumpty warmly greeting commentators before

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they spend the next four glorifying brain
injuries. It's also on brand, and

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of course the desperate suck up routine
from fighters jumping at the chance to shill

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out to the disgraced ex president mid
event. You're the man. What they're

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doing as a travesty, Let me
donate to your legal fund that's inevitably just

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going to your personal coffers. Gotta
respect the hustle, if not the morals

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man, you know Trump is a
flip flopper when even Fox News is calling

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you a flip flopper. When I
did the prep for today's show, I

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couldn't believe the source, good old
RNC Pravda itself. It seems former President

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Trump is making a major strategic shift
when it comes to early and absentee voting

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for the twenty twenty four election.
His new Swamp the Vote USA effort with

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the RNC is a one hundred and
eighty from his staunch opposition to mail in

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ballots and early in person voting just
a few years ago. Back in twenty

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twenty, Trump was screaming from the
rooftops that early and mail voting were rife

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with massive fraud and solely to blame
for his loss to Biden. He painted

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them as shady, corrupt processes that
Republicans should avoid at all costs. But

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now the former president is doing a
complete one hundred and eighty, practically begging

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his supporters to take advantage of every
possible voting method absentee, mail, in,

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early, in person, you name
it. It's an absolutely dizzying pivot

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from the election was rigged by mail
ballots to everybody better request mail ballots asap.

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Can you imagine Trump rehearsing these new
talking points. No, no,

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say it like you mean it,
Donnie. We love early voting. It's

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the only way to swamp those radical
Dems. See doesn't that feel better than

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calling it a corrupt hoax? You
just know there were some intense strategy sessions

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where aids finally convince the former president
that suppressing his own bases vote is not

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a winning strategy. Early voting numbers
favoring Dems was probably a harsh wake up

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call. Still, the sheer audacity
of Trump's reversal is pretty staggering. One

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minute he's screeching that mail ballots caused
his huge loss. The next He's insisting

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massive early turnout is Republicanism's only hope. You can practically hear the wing nuts

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head spinning. Of course, knowing
Trump, he'll continue hedging with vague illusions

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that early voting can still be rigged
if not done the right way. Whatever

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allows him to sow just enough doubt
to keep those grievance fires stoked. Yikes,

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it seems tensions are running extremely high
at the Hunter Biden trial. The

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confrontation between his wife Melissa and former
Trump aid Garrett Ziegler was nothing short of

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explosive. I can just picture the
scene Melissa's spotting Ziegler, the man who

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helped weaponize her husband's personal data against
his father, lurking in the courthouse hallway,

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her anger and protective instincts flaring,
She marches right up and lets him

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have it with a vicious you Nazi
piece of shit ouch throwing around the word.

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Any n word is never a good
look, even directed at someone who

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arguably enabled an unethical political hit job. Still, you can't help but empathize

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with Melissa's raw emotion in that moment. Ziegler's mere presence had to be like

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a visceral trigger given his role in
the laptop leak scheme. On the other

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hand, Ziegler, keeping his cool
and not engaging speaks Volumes two now was

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deploying the Nazi insult over the line, perhaps, but in the heat of

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the moment, with open emotional wounds
surrounding her family, it's hard to blame

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her word choice either. Ziegler and
his ilk knowingly caused deep personal harm through

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unscrupulous means. Although portions of today's
program were created with the help of AI,

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none of It was created with the
help of Nazis