Oct. 1, 2024

What time is the VP Debate? What channel is the Vice Presidential Debate On?

Show Notes
Transcript

That's right, it's one of our clickbaity titles. Welcome to the show. We make fun of all candidates so don't get mad when we make fun of yours.

Trump plans to do his on play by play tonight, so we know Wednesday's podcast will be good.

As for the when and how to watch the debate? That's what the clickbait is for. Hit play!

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WEBVTT

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Calaruga Shark media from New York City. Where wait, someone

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put the debate in New York City? Why this is ballot?

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I don't know. Neither of these guys would last five

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seconds in New York City without getting mugged. Whatever, let's

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hit this all right, folks, buckle up for another thrilling

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round of political theater. Tonight. We've got the vice presidential

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debate between Tim Walls and JD. Vance. It's like watching

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the understudy rehearsal for a Broadway show. You know it's important,

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but you can't help feeling like you're missing out on

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the real deal. First up, we've got Tim Walls, the

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governor of Minnesota. He's so unknown outside his state that

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when he joined the Democratic ticket even his own family

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had to Google him. Meanwhile, JD Vance, fresh off his

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blockbuster memoir Hillbilly Eleogy, is now trying his hand at

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political fan fiction as Trump's running mate. The debate starts

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at nine pm Eastern Time, which is perfect because that's

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exactly when most Americans start thinking, you know what would

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make this evening better? Listening to two politicians I barely

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know argue about policies they'll never implement. The moderators are

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Nora O'Donnell and Margaret Brennan. They'll be trying to wrangle

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these political nubies like substitute teachers on the first day

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of school. Now here's the kicker. The debate is happening

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in New York City. Trump, who ditched the Big Apple

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faster than a New Yorker spotting a tourist in Times Square,

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now claims he can win the state. Yeah, and I

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can win a hot dog eating contest against Joey chestnutt

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As for the rules, it's ninety minutes long with two

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four minute commercial breaks, perfect for the candidates to frantically

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google what does a vice president do? There's no audience,

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which is great because we wouldn't want any actual voters

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interfering with this carefully choreographed political dance. Oh and get this,

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they're not allowed to bring notes or props on stage,

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So if you see Vance fumbling with his pockets, he's

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probably just looking for is how to be a Vice

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President for dummies cheat sheet. Walls will be on the

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right side of your screen, Vance on the left. They'll

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be standing behind podiums, probably wishing they could hide under

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them instead. And remember, no wandering around the stage allowed.

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We don't want any lost puppy moments here. There are

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no opening statements, because why ease into the awkwardness when

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you can dive right in. Now here's the kicker. There's

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no audience. It's like a comedian's worst nightmare. But for politicians,

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they'll be telling their jokes to an empty room, which,

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let's be honest, isn't that different from most of their

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campaign rallies. Each candidate gets two minutes to answer a question,

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two minutes to respond, and one minute for rebuttals. It's

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like speed dating, but instead of finding love, they're trying

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to convince America they're not completely useless. Oh and get this,

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they have countdown clocks and lights to show how much

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time they have left. It's like Jeopardy for policy wonks.

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I'm half expecting Alex Trebek to pop up and say

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I'll take policies no one understands for two hundred Alex.

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The moderators reserve the right to mute the mics, so

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if you hear sudden silence, it's either technical difficulties or

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sweet sweet relief. Former President Trump, not content with just

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being a spectator, has decided to give us his very

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own play by play of the vice presidential debate, because

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if there's one thing we all need, it's more Trump

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commentary in our lives. Trump's promising to narrate the showdown

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between brilliant JD. Vance and highly inarticulate tampon Tim Walls.

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I gotta say Trump's nickname game is really slipping. What's

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next Toaster Tim? Trombone? Tim? Come on, Donald, you're losing

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your edge now. Trump hopees Kamala Harris will be tuning

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in two. He wants her to witness how he'll make

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up false facts and stories, because nothing says vote for

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me like admitting you're planning to lie right. The Daily

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Show is going live after the VP debate between JD.

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Vance and Tim Walls. John Stewart won't be hosting, but

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don't worry, Michael Costa will be there to deliver all

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the hard hitting analysis like which candidate had the most

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awkward watersip and who blinked more times during questions about

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the economy. Costa is so excited to fill John Stuart's shoes.

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He's been practicing his incredulous eyebrow raises in the mirror

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for weeks and just when you thought the campaign trail

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couldn't get any wilder, Donald Trump decides to audition for

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the role of America's next top dystopian overlord. That's right.

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At a rally in Pennsylvania, the former president channeled his

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inner movie villain and suggested we solve crime with one

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really violent day, because nothing says law and order like

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turning the country into a real life version of the Purge.

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Right Trump, Ever, the business genius, also let slip that

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he hated paying overtime. Shocking. I know, who would have

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thought the guy with a gold plated toilet might be

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a bit stin. He even admitted he'd replace workers who

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asked for it. Talk about a your fired moment, Am

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I right? Vice President Kamala Harris never want to miss

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a chance to throw some shade. Had her campaign brand

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Trump a scab. I guess in the world of political insults,

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we've moved on from deplorable to guy who crosses the

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picket line progress people. And let's not forget Trump's charming

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habit of insulting his opponents. This time, He's decided to

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call Harris mentally disabled, because nothing says presidential material like

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mocking people with disabilities right. I'm sure that disability advocacy

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groups are just thrilled to be dragged into this mess.

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This is Mac Davies reminding you that in American politics,

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the line between reality and satire is about as clear

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as Trump's tax returns and some jokes written today with

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the help of Ai